Dice Shame - 2-67 | 'Cut Down to Size'

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He wanted to go home and we dragged him to Scarborough first. Don't even start. Well, you think this is my fault? I couldn't believe it. I don't know. I'm trying to make him stop. I don't understand. What the hell's going on, Jack? I can't put us in danger like this again.

Not recommended. Warranty void if imploded. Who wants to be in charge? I'll tell you one thing. Maybe you just don't understand how it works. I just saw you turn invisible and then you ran. It's called Tactical Advantage. I guess that didn't go quite as quite as good as we had hoped it would go, but we're alive.

And then he looks down at Ellister's lifeless body there on the ground. Oh. MVP this week goes to Heardt. MVP this week goes to Heather, who commented on our Instagram post, saying that she listens with her son, Jake, and that they both love the show.

Apparently, they have their very own dice shame jar with a clay dragon on top. I love this so much. Thanks for listening, Heather and Jake. You are both this week's MVP. Thanks, guys. All right. Should we play some D&D?

Yeah, let's do it. Woo! You know, it's funny. You don't want fruitcake at Christmas because you've got all these other delicious dessert. waiting for you, and then there's that fruit cake that comes that stays in the package. Yeah, there's other stuff I want at Christmas. Speak for yourself.

But if you asked me right now, because I don't have any sweets in the house, do you want this fruitcake? I'd say absolutely, yes. I feel like something. You don't have any. So you like it. You just wouldn't go for it over other things. Probably the last thing, yeah.

What's your favorite Christmas sweet? Oh, that's a good question. I like those little gingerbread that grandma always makes, those tiny little gingerbread guys. The tinier, the better. Carlin always makes legions of tiny gingerbreadments. Also, those tiny little Christmas white chocolate mints, those are very nostalgic for me. I think my favorite Christmas cookie is sausage rolls.

No one said they had to be sweet. Hey, you could pinwheel those. Yeah, I like a savory treat. You know what? I would go for a ham tart. I'm with you. I could pick a savory Christmas tree. I'm sorry, a ham tart?

Pardon me? You heard of a fruit cake. This is a ham tart. I don't know. A ham tart is, in my mind, there were two things that jumped to mind. A ham tart, and once we introduced savory things, which is just a little tart, flaky pastry thing with some, like... Some prairie shit right there.

Ham salad thing inside it, it baked. So it's like a savory little treat thing. It's delicious. I ham. And then the other one... Our family only calls pink cake, and it's like a cherry ice cake thing. But I don't have a recipe for it. It's a...

I don't know. I like that. Pink cake sounds delightful. It's really good. Rewind to ham tart. Let's revisit the hand. Is it just a piece of, like, what's the content? Is it like flaked ham?

Suspended in jelly? Is it like a sausage roll? It's like a flaked ham seasoned with some stuff. It's like a meat pie except very small and it, but it's in tart size. So it's salty. Is it like pinkish in color? It's like a spam tart? This is prairie stuff.

This is, this to me is like, I'm in Alberta now. I'm getting like a very monocon. colored spread here, pink cake, ham tart. You have to name this episode, ham tarts and fruit cakes. You know what? I'll try and, they're delicious.

I'll try and find a picture of one at some point. My ham tarts and grueles are way too fancy for what Rob is described. Yeah, these are, this is. Oh, I thought previously. Ham and Greer puff pastry. No, there's no cheese in it. It's more like a, like, it's like a flaked ham. It sounds like spam.

It must be real. Yeah, you're not wrong. It's 100% of canned ham experience. Is there a secondary ingredient? Yeah. Like a binding agent? of some kind? Well, spam doesn't eat it. You know what? I've never made it myself. I've only ever consumed it. And so I don't really know what goes into it. I just sort of sometimes put out

into the universe, you know, I'd really love a ham tart around Christmas. And then sometimes... I'm imagining those frozen tart shells with just loose pieces of cubed ham just set in there. Well, that's why I asked. I thought it was like, in my mind, it was like suspended in jelly. You don't know what I mean? Like cubed ham suspended in like gelatin. So apparently there's cream of mushroom soup involved. Of course it is. Okay. Now I'm on board. Bring it. Last time I went up to visit my mom in Ottawa, I put it out into the universe, you know, if you don't feel like making them, no big deal, but if you ever did want to make something, a ham tart would be great. And she sent me... You have to whisper it into the right ear. So she sent me a recipe. This is a family thing, obviously. You didn't

just be like, hey, if you feel like it makes this random thing. No, no, it's... It's just been a, I don't know, it's a thing since forever. So I know it involves canned ham, mushroom soup and tenderflake. It is canned. Pastry. Lard, whatever. We went for breakfast at this fancy, schmancy restaurant. It was like really, really nice. We sat on this little patio and it had on the menu eggs Benedict with a toasted ham something or other. And anyways, it comes out.

It was really, really good, but it was definitely a slice of spam. And I'm like, so you go to this like fancy schmante restaurant and they still give you a slice of spam. Although that was the first time having it, incredible. Spam is good. When you like sear it or whatever. Yeah. Incredible. It's really good.

That's great. Yeah. We should all make a ham tart this Christmas season. Just interpret it and however you like. I don't know how much I'd enjoy it, but I'll try it. That's all you need is lard. Lard soup and canned ham and something delicious comes out the other side of it. Welcome to the prairies.

I don't know what to tell you. I look for step one, step two, step three is question. Dish and Christmas party. I'm in, you'll bring something. But you just said you don't like, well, this started because you don't like fruit cake. I want to make one, and maybe I'll like this one. Again, I've only ever really had, like, those ones

where it's just like, here's a rectangle in, like, plastic wrap. And I've never been, like, one over by them. I've never been like, damn, I want another one. I've been, like, soak them in booze and wrap them in lard. Right? Yeah. Yeah, it seems like a, like a Christmas pudding, except it's a cake instead of large.

Now I love it. Christmas pudding. It's all about the pud. I mean, but to me, yeah, it's dried fruit that's no longer dried because it's all moist from alcohol or whatever in some sort of dough. And usually a sauce, a cream sauce or, you know, an alcohol-based sauce on it is just a 10. It's funny that we're talking about food, though, because I was thinking about this. You know, we were all talking about the foods that we eat before game night.

You said, oh, game night pizza, and there's been this running theme of game night sushi. Yeah, it just happened that way. For sure. Yeah, last week. And I was thinking about this, and I know it's not really commonplace to, like, I was like, how dare you? I was fucking jealous. But I was thinking, if you had to invent a role for each character in Dyshame.

Like one, what would it be? A one. And the one that came to mind immediately was stone crab for Doran, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Snow crab. Oh, sure. Oh, wait, no, there is some sort of stone crab, isn't there? There's a rock, I think, roll.

You're thinking of rock lobster? There's like a paulic, a fake crab. No, there's like, no, stone crab. No, there is a stone crab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, it is. But, you know, a lot of the, a lot of that, a lot of that crab filling is fake crab. It's called Pollock.

Pollock. No, no, but not in our rule. So, but Doran's role is a stone crab, 100%, right? But isn't that funny, though, how you were talking about it? But Doran's a fake crab. Mm-hmm. What would everyone else's be? What would your sushi roll be?

What would your character's sushi roll be? Yeah. Dorn's stone crab No Dynamite roll You know with a With a tail hanging out of my head My head still

Why tail? Or like the shrimp tail hanging out of my nostril or something But why But how is Is it a dragon Roll got like a Well dragon but you said dynamite

But also how does that Regardless how does that equate to I'm mad Because of Doran's beard Always just kind of aggregating things Oh because of Doran's tail Because Doran has a hidden tail he's got a shrimp tail he doesn't have a butthole he has a tail because he's a

shrimp i get it i was going to make a joke about you know red be being some sort of cat filled sushi that's not really fair catfish catfish cat filled deep fried catfish okay black and catfish uh wow louisiana sushi yeah but i mean if you could put anything in it Red row in it. Oh, good. I'm not sure if it's a sushi roll, but in my mind, there's got to be some pun around like a fresh roll with that like wrapping around it

and a scroll of magic somehow that you can make for Jack. There's got to be. Yeah. See? I dig that. A magical school. The way they do with like the, um,

it's a magic hand roll. Yeah, it's of course a magic hand roll. Yes, you're 100% ways. Yes. Yes, I feel so good about thinking of that. The mage hand roll. It feels so validated right now. And Mari's just a couple of water.

I mean, there's blue, it could be like blue crab or some sort of like bluefin tuna. Mari's, Maris, it's just a, it's a series of, um, it's a soup. Seweed. Seweed. It's seaweed salad and then sashimi on the side. There's no rice. I don't know. It could be something cold.

Just a bowl of water. Dora's like the tempura fried sweet potato. One, uh, Dorn is tempura. I don't know why it just feels right. Dorrit is a big bowl of tempura. Just the crunchy bits. Yeah, he's just like, oh, this is great. I love fish.

And he's eating like a big chunk of eggplant or something. And he's like, this is great. Spicy tempura. Did you ever get that tempura of veggies? Oh, they're delicious. No, you know what? Maris would have to have some sort of like, like wet, like, there's got to be some sort of like a nokee mushroom or something. We're like, because she always talks about her wet hair.

You know what I mean? Like some sort of like. in the center. In my head, I imagine like a vegetable explosion roll where you have the Julianned cucumbers all through it. Yeah,

like a Julianne. Yeah, it would probably be like a veggie roll because she's a dirty hippie. So. Dylum blue. Yeah, it would be vegetarian.

That's true. Yeah. You don't want to hurt anybody. A little seaweed salad in there somehow. I don't know. Oh, 100%. There is seaweed salad through everything. You cannot escape it.

There is so much seaweed in the thing. One of those finger bowls to wash your fingers in just because of water. Wait, did we decide what Reds was? You just said row. No, I think it's cat in a sushi somehow. He is catfish with a bunch of fries on the side.

He is not at a sushi restaurant. I'm a different sushi. Yeah. I'm a chicken wing. He's one of those appetizers that you get at the sushi restaurant where you're like, hmm, not your specialty. He's a sushi pizza. Right as a sushi pizza.

Oh, there you go. That does work. I like that. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's interesting because the D&D cookbook has tabaxy flavors. Yes, they have the tabaxi chicken wings. Which is dusted with garam masala. They're very good.

And weirdly enough, when I ate it, I was kind of like, okay. I kind of get, you know, Mazdica and you got kind of like the different vibe. Where you think of water deep is kind of more, you know, potatoes. You know what's funny? I was looking for steak seasoning at one point, and I ended up using garamasa. Really, really good for steak season. would be good, like very, very interesting. And it gave me that, it gave me that same effect that you're, that you're thinking.

Mastikin steak. You know, it's sort of like how we're eating a cat. It's not as normal application. Yeah, that was really, really good. So I'd have something like that. It's got to be, I'd see, but now I'm stuck trying to find the corn dish that could have no ears for red. Ooh. Oh, I like that'd be fun.

Something earless. Although all the art of red just negates that. They're like, yeah, everybody's like, yeah, I know you described that, but fuck you. You don't get to decide what we think you're. He's getting a fucking ears. We're the audience. I don't care what you say. You know what?

I don't mind. He's got ears and Jack's a fucking Chad. I learned about the Ginger Jack agenda recently. Yes. Which makes total sense to me. I don't know. Yeah, because we all hate Jack. Ouch.

Whoa. I'm kidding. I'm teasing. I think, Carl, you know the closest to being ginger yourself. I'm the closest real life ginger. Absolutely. I read night hair. And also.

So, you know, I love, no, I mean, it's just stupid to hate somebody because of the color of the hair. I just think it's, it's a trope, and I thought it was really funny. For Jack will make an exception. But yeah, no, I didn't, I didn't, it doesn't make sense to me. I was, I was just thinking as a, I, Kappa, because Kappa is like a, uh, Japanese, um, like, it's a, it's like a frog turtle. It's like a, it's a, it's a, it's a water, water, water, water, water, water, thingy. Sure. Kappa?

Sounds like you're describing a furtile. Coupa Trooper? Chupa Cobra. The Kupa dudes are based on Kappa. That's a true fact. There you go. Kupa? You know, what the fuck are we talking about?

We're talking about Super Mario. I feel like we've lost it here. Regardless, fruitcake. You know what reminds me a lot of Super Mario? Dungeons and Dragons. Dungeons and dragons. Okay, how, though? Lay it out for me.

Well, you're like on this adventure fighting creatures. Throwing fireballs with your brothers. They've gone down the little tunnel, the tube, and now they're in the under dark. Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I mean, I like, it's an activity you do with your brother. That one seemed good to me. I buy that.

Oh, that's very wholesome. Not what I said, but I love it. No, I'm Mari. Oh. Marry. Oh. And then we've got the three Luigi's. Mario.

Jack is definitely a Luigi. I'm the guy sitting in the cloud with the camera falling you guys. Yes. And when we fall off the ledge, you go and you pick us up with the fishing rod and put us back on the edge. Although sometimes you're just like fall. Enjoy it. Good luck losers. Cool.

All right. Fruitcake. Shall we do this? Let's do this. It's our safe word, fruit cake. Fruit cake. Ham tart fruit cake. Those are so different.

I'm going to make a fruit cake that's studded with ham. As the last of the water from Mari's maelstrom sluces from the stone bridge into the lava far below and turns into jets of steam, hand-sized chunks of broken, sparkling rock that were once at the vortex's epicenter slow their spinning and come to a rest. The bodies of four cultists and a wormling lie slain on the tunnel's pathway,

leaking blood onto the stone. Poor Elister Noggins, the gnome you'd rescued from the stone giant Thane, who'd recently come close to endearing himself to you. His broken body is gently thawing on the ground between Mari and Doran. And in and amongst all of this carnage, the effects of Jack's spells are still popping on. off like fireworks. Jack, all over your body as the mage armor that you had cast on yourself starts to revolt against the fabric of the magic. Turns into the image of worms

crawling all around you and into your skin. A cloud of tiny dragons are flying around this cavern screaming about the silver dragon Clarion's stolen warmly, and then they fall from the sky hitting these dull plunks on the stone as they turn into pieces of Ellister Noggins, writhing, trying to fit themselves back together. And finally, what was once an illusory wall of stone turns into a pillar of flames. As you see an image of Duzon, the illusionist, from the ten towns. His screams echo in this vast chamber. You hear him say,

What they would do to an illusionist today, Jack. They may as well do to a noble half-elf tomorrow. And he turns into ash in front of your eyes. Jack's leaning against the cave trying to keep himself together half hiding around a corner from his own illusions

that are wildly going out of control whispering to himself I don't know why they're doing this it's not doesn't make any sense Red walks over from across the little passageway what the hell's going on Jack

what the hell is going on I don't know I'm trying to make him stop just give me a minute I gotta think through it they're not the magic isn't working normally I don't know if it's something to do with this cave or what. Yeah, okay, okay, you figure it out.

Take a minute. And Red walks down the hall to where Alistair fell, and he kind of just kneels for a second. God damn. Don't even start. What? Mari's still sitting there against the wall, and the cultist leader is still at her feet.

She's just kind of pulled herself back, but she hasn't gotten up, and she's like, don't even start, okay? wherever you were I just saw you turn invisible and then you ran and all of this happened and now this and there's just

the weird sort of haze of Jack's kind of flailing magic everywhere that's sort of settling around them and she just shoots and... You think this is my fault? I'm not saying it's your fault I'm just saying that...

I pulled back because I use a bow, Marie. I went invisible because I... Well, because I could do that now. and it gave me advantage on attacking. I was trying to protect everyone. Great. That's very good. I'm glad that you have such an advantage with this now. I'm glad that you're fine.

Look, I get that you're pissed off, but don't take it out on me, okay? This is what happens when you engage in battle with people, and Red turns to Doran, when you are clearly outmatched and you don't have time to prepare when you go half-cocked on attacking someone without talking first, Doran, your hothead? And Doran, as you're saying that, Before you started saying this, comes around the corner, looking proud that, you know, we defeated these guys.

But as he's hearing you speak these words, you see the worry return to his eyes. You see sort of the shame. And instead of proud, standing strong dwarf view, you see almost one that might have crumbled on the inside a bit. If we had taken a damn second, if you could have kept your damn axe in its holster, Then we could have talked about this and maybe come back and got the drop on them.

Which is what I was trying to do, Mari. Get the drop on them. It's called tactical advantage. We could have walked away. There was no reason. I guess that didn't go quite as good as we had hoped it would go, but we're all alive. And then he looks down at Lister's lifeless body there on the ground. I mean, you're right.

You're right. It was my hot head. It was that damn clarion. I can't believe, I just, I couldn't believe it. I, I can't believe that people would, people would worship such a, such a foul beast. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't understand people.

I don't understand anything these days. Well, we're never going to understand because they're all dead now, all right? Is that we've accomplished what you wanted to accomplish and now we're here, all right? All right, take it easy. Can you tell he feels bad enough? Look, I'm sorry. I didn't run away, okay? I got a tactical advantage.

I'm sorry it looked like that. I apologize. I get that you felt abandoned. But we're not abandoning you, Mari. Look, we're here now, okay? We made it through. Doran's right. And then Doran sees the cult leader that's lying in front of you, Mari.

And he sees the cudgel in his hands. And he looks at your face and he sees the injuries that you've sustained. and Doren rushes over to you and he gets down to his knees and he starts wiping your wounds. I can't do it anymore. I can't put us in danger like this again. Okay, all right.

Yeah, Mari just kind of let's Dorn do that for a second and then kind of pushes his hand away gently because she's not really in the mood of having anybody that close to her at this point and she kind of starts to stand up. She sort of shakily stands up. And she has a piece of Ellister Noggin in her pocket. And she doesn't know what to do with.

Jack, you've been quiet this whole time. Yeah, as a minute passes and the effects of his spells wear off and things come back to an equilibrium, he sort of keeps a hand on the wall and walks down the steps of the corridor back towards everybody. a little shaky. We probably don't want to hang around here, then do we? No, let's check the bodies at least. Red walks over, kicks the dead body at Murray's feet, and starts searching it.

Maybe these assholes had something of value at least. You guys want to search these bodies? Yeah, might as well. Mari's not. She's going to stand back. And Doran doesn't either. He walks ahead, and he looks down the hallway and listens. On the cult leader, you find a ring, a magic ring. This silver ring curls around a jagged piece of white howlite

and is etched with the appearance of dragon scales. He also has a letter on him. Oh. This one's got a letter here, Red says. He says, uh, Norrix, the tunnels and caverns around the dwarven settlement of Scarborough. I believe to host a clutch of the great worm's eggs, perhaps as many as four in total. Damn, find them and bring them safely to Parnast, and it's signed Ada Tenebris. Does that mean anything to you, Jack?

You like, holds it up. I don't recognize the name. Doran would be familiar with the town of Parnast. It is in the southern reaches of the Grey Peaks. Jack has probably also heard tell. It's a pretty small town. And on one of the more lowly cultists, you find a bag. It is a beat-up black leather messenger bag stitched with gray and white embroidery on the front flap in pockets.

Oh, Red walks over. There's a nice bag here. He picks it up and starts rooting through it. Yeah. It's strangely familiar in your hands, Red, as you. open the front flap to reveal the largest compartment. Your hand goes like way down deep into the bag. Hey, it's another bag of holding.

Whoa. Hey! You got inside a coin purse holding 55 gold. There's 15 days of rations. Some bedrolls and tents. A worn book. A velvet pouch. Some odds and ends. Holy hell. Red looks at the one he's wearing. I'm just picturing of red now with two. bags of holding me like this goes perfect one on each day i got two bags of holding now he's like a bike by loses could you put the bag of holding into a bag of holding no oh god not recommended it will implode yeah you open up a portal to another dimension yeah and need lose all your shit it's always

been my last ditch decision that should be like stitched on the tag on the outside of yeah on every bag there is a warning tag on this do not wash with like colors do not put inside a similar bag of holding or the world will implode. The way that like a mattress has a customer. Warranty void if. Morty void if imploded. Red looks at the nice shiny, clean new one and the like the dirty, stinky, stained one he's got. And he's like, ha, this one matches my eyes, like the one with the red.

And he's like, but I guess I already kind of used this one. I got familiar with it. Who wants to be in charge of this bag? And Red walks back over, actually. And he's like, and you know, I mean, look, I know I'm not the most organized, but if someone else wants to be in charge of the gold or something like that, I got enough shit in here anyway that's random in mine, like a jawbone. And he starts looking through his bag. He's kind of like lots of chickens. If you want to start fresh in that one is the group's bag, I'm fine.

It's up to you. And Red walks over tomorrow and he's like, maybe you should take this. He's kind of like awkward after being yelled at. Sure. and she takes it and she uses her non-dominant hand which is probably a problem because her other one's been bashed in with a club

yeah sorry about that yeah Mari how many hip points do you have 30 something? Okay I have 39 out of 93 Mari sort of walks over to Jack who's I guess still standing there Yeah also also bleeding out

Did he get injured? Oh yeah He's at 46 out of 70 so he got I can't remember exactly what it was I lost 20 hit points as well. I think everyone got hit pretty hard. I don't get why Murray's giving him such a shit time. Honestly, I got fucked up. Jack kind of did the worst.

Jack didn't do shit all combat. Yeah, but it wasn't Jack's fault. For sure. But I killed at least a few of these things from being far away. Right. But none of you are like talking to Jack about like, so where was the magic missile, buddy? Like, where the, hey wizard. For Mari, like, this is the most like physical fight she's.

been in like the most sort of direct everything else has always been like people at a distance or like a giant's thrown a rock at her or something and this is the first time that she's really just had somebody just fucking go to town on her mm-hmm damari walks over to jack what's what's going on um i did everything the same it like down every every gesture every movement textbook perfect and it didn't do what it's It's done every other time I've cast those spells before, and that's, I don't know what to do about that. It didn't work. Well, it's not that it didn't do anything.

It just didn't do the same thing it's always done, and I don't know why. And then he looks down at his hands. Yeah. Yeah, I don't understand. I don't, something, it just, it feels, it feels wrong. It feels wrong in the air, and I don't know what it is. But, yeah, the spells, I recognize them, or at least what you were trying to do. But, and she sort of, like, looks at Jack's hand and she kind of takes one gingerly,

though they have, like, the scars on them. If I did a medicine check, does she still feel that same sort of weird change? You're confident that your healing abilities aren't going to change these marks on Jack's hands. They feel permanent. Yeah, because she sort of sees them, and there's this deep knowledge inside of her that even no matter how hard she kind of would try to push that magic through it would just slide off hubris written all over a wizard's hands that's what that is red approaches behind dorn and just sort of like looks to where he's looking he's like anyone up ahead and you know they're a good like 50 feet away from the other two as they're talking roll finish note you see anything dorn you know what red stairs up into the, the dark tunnel.

I don't know what's come over me, but I don't, I don't know if I can do this for much longer. Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't start talking like that. Like, Mari was just pissed off. She has every right to be. She's, she's angry. It's the first real scrape face to face. She's just throwing words everywhere and they're getting hit with some collateral damage. It's not about you and me, honestly.

it's about her and she's not wrong for feeling it well you're right but at the same time i you know when i was when i was hacking at the giants at deadstone cleft it felt like i mean i enjoyed it but i guess i didn't think twice about it and now when i'm hacking up these men you think that maybe i feel some remorse or feel some I don't know some sort of discomfort or anything but you know what

and he looks right at red and he looks you in the eye and he says I really liked it look Doran you're treading on my arc a little bit but that's okay God damn

there's plenty of room there's plenty of end diagram I'm sorry. Red's a little bit of a cold-blooded killer, too, but that's okay. I'm just teasing. Oh, I did. Did you say that, too? Doran, look, snap out of it.

We need you, okay? I hear you. You're right. You're a cold-blooded killer. You're enjoying taking down these cultists. And Redd almost says like in a hushed voice to Doran. But, you know, sometimes maybe we need that, okay? Look, I'm not saying we start chopping up in.

I'm not saying that you don't question some bad calls that maybe you've made. But we're going to need you. We need people like you, and frankly, people like me, that sometimes are willing to make the tougher calls. But these other two might have walked by these five cultists. And then where would we be in a month? Is dragon egg popping open and a whole new clarion wormling to deal with? Have your doubts.

But don't lose who you are. We need that. We got a big task on our plate. We've got to be tough. Well, Red, and Doran looks back up the dark passageway, and he says, you know, you don't run into dragon-loving cultists when you don't go out looking for them. And Doran starts to walk up the dark passage.

Mari, do you want to go see if your Tempest left anything else? on the bridge after it petered out? Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I just, I just, I, oh, I thought that spell would work better. I thought we could just go and we could leave and she starts walking over there. And she's like, I thought, I thought it would stop them. I thought we could just leave and then it just, I don't know, everything, everything kind of went wrong. On the bridge lit by this distant glow of lava, you see these,

Shards of stone. Looks like stone anyway. Hmm. I guess if I did one thing, that egg didn't make it out of the whirlpool. No. At least not in one piece. Jack kneels down and scoops up the pieces of this dragon's egg and lays out the portable hole and puts them in it just to, just in case we might need petrified dragon egg later.

Definitely. They almost look like, you know, when you open a geode and there's like a faucet and there's yeah a fossil inside it's kind of like that you can almost discern places where there would have been like dragon bones this oh funky embryo I guess yeah yeah but everything looks crystalline and cordyreig embryo that's good stupid good joke um Mari just sort of picks up a piece and slips that in pocket and then remembers again the horrible cold realization that there is a piece of elester noggin in her pocket do we want to keep the whole egg together in which case it could

definitely go in marie's new funky bag i think yes scoop it into the bag i think that might be a good idea she pops open the the bag which she just kind of been carrying she hasn't like actually done anything with it yet and she sort of lets jack kind of chuck all of the egg in there she's like I'll organize it later at some point and then she throws her own bag in there. And Jack has this moment of realization going, oh no, Mari's the new red. How is this better?

Talk a piece of dragon egg. Every piece is carefully cataloged up here and wrapped and it's one of the few things I think I know how to do left is preserve a find from the field. She pulls a piece of like a large piece of fabric out of her bag like a scarf or something

and she puts the dragon egg pieces in that and it ties it like in a knot at the top so it's at least in one thing seeing that jack is about to lose his mind there's there's a deep sigh of like something finally makes sense in the world oh thank goodness thank lethander yes and she she goes and she folds it into this little like fabric package surely based on jack's eye roll just to be crystal clear there was a sigh maybe too yeah she she knows she's she's seen the inside of red's bag like when your friend comes over and they see like the state of your closet or whatever you're like fine i guess you're like don't tell anyone how i live and yeah and then she sort of tosses her own bag just in there for now so you've got this

piece of a gnome with you are you what are you guys going to do with the rest of him just leave him here is the ground loose enough to dig a hole Right here, it's pretty rocky, but further on, like, you can definitely find a shallow bit of dirt. Jack moves through the tunnel till he finds a place of softer Earth. And it's honestly the simplest trick. It should absolutely be within his power. And with that flick of the wrist, where the earth is supposed to move, a picture of a hole appears. But it's definitely not a hole.

Redd-like walks over, and it's just a picture, and he taps it, and he's like, oh, right. Hey, don't worry about it, bud. What are you trying to do? What are you digging a hole for? I thought we'd put Ellister somewhere, and I just wasn't even... And Red turns to Mari as she's walking back, and he's like, well, can we bring them back? Or, well, what's the deal? I...

And she just sort of standing there looking at this pile of chunks and this image of a hole in the ground. I like to imagine my head, it's like a piece of paper with like a poorly scribbled, like a child's drawing of a hole on it with like an arrow. points is hole. Yeah, I'm imagining like an Acme like roadrunner type guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, one of those drawn holes in the ground that looks 3D from one angle and you turn around to the other angle and it's just a weird, just a weird shape. Yeah, yeah, it looks like it's stretched up the wall. Not only are you impotent, but your illusions are also inadequate. So there you you know, it's a wave of a hand. Sometimes it gets away from you. Dore comes back down. So can we bring them back or what? I can.

I can. In theory, I can. Okay, so we don't have to bury him then. Should we collect his pieces or? I don't need all of him. I just need a little bit. And I have that. So wherever, if we can go somewhere quiet, I can try. I can try. I can try to bring him back if that's what we want to do. Yeah, of course. I mean, look, when I don't, you leave Doran and I to clean up this mess and he gestures to Elister and the dead bodies. You two had a few feet ahead down the tunnel, make sure it's safe and we'll catch up.

And it's at that point when you turn around and Doran's already standing now back in the room where you guys are all standing. Sound good, Doran? He listens to the end of that conversation and he looks at Red and he looks at Mari and then he looks at Jack and he says, I don't know about anybody you, but I don't think we should be bringing anything back from the dead. He's a poor, poor little guy that lost his life and I'll take full responsibility on that,

but, you know, things that die die, it's unnatural. That's excellent. Well thought out of inspiration. Yes, I never, and Red is like genuinely taken aback and like he like oh oh shit you you're right i i didn't even think about that this isn't the work of some cursed shield this is marie and ellister doesn't deserve this death he he wanted to go home and we dragged him to scarborough first this is all on us if there's an option for him to have a nice life back i think we risk it jack i'm not saying you you're wrong

Alistair didn't deserve to die I mean, not many people that die do, but Dora's got a great point. I mean, Krayloff came back from the dead and, you know, he despised what he became so much that he ended up deciding to end his own life anyway. I mean, what if Ellister doesn't want to come back?

Mari's kind of listening to this because, obviously, she doesn't know Krayloft and she doesn't know much of this story. She's called Krayloft. Because he hasn't listened to the back Krayloft? What? The funny part of that is you mispronagnosis.

She doesn't even know Krayloft. She hasn't to the back catalog, okay? It's like, it's like Krayloff. You did that on purpose. Not like Kraloft. No T. No, Anfranish.

No, it's really funny. The worst part is that I know this. But I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm taking the role of the Alex getting the name. No, it's perfect. It's really funny because it's like exactly in the,

character. I don't know if Elister wants to come back, but I know that he probably didn't want to die. And we led him down here. This magic brings him back as he was. This is not a version of him or any sort of ethereal other. It just brings back him as his own internal self. and he can make that call then. Well, if he makes that call, then he kills himself again?

Well, I don't know. He can go fight some more dragon cultists, I guess. Have you ever even done this before? And there's this split second where like all these emotions kind of cross her face and then she just goes like stone. She's like, no. I haven't done it before.

I've seen it done, but I haven't done it before. And Duren pipes up and says, I'll tell you one thing. If I die, don't bring me back. Whoa. Why, Dorn? Duh. I,

because I know that when I die, I'm going off to the great place with the dwarves, man. This is something that all dwarves know. And I don't want to be wasting another minute with some magic spell that's going to help me live. for a few more years in this miserable world I mean have you looked around lately

there's giants everywhere Okay look look I hear you Doran And Jack you must hear Doran too And Mari what if What if Ellister felt the way Doran feels right now What if Elister felt that his time was his time Regardless of how I mean there are implications here

That we should consider I mean I've been traveling with Doran for months now And I just the first I've heard That he wouldn't want to be brought back Yeah well Maybe Elister was the same way Mari isn't a necromancer She's not going to force a body back to life

How dare you even imply that? And maybe you just don't understand how it works I don't think she could force Ellister back alive if he wanted to But if Ellister wants another chance That's their choice It's true This this magic doesn't work If he doesn't want to come back

Oh Yeah I mean yeah that's definitely Dorn and I not understanding Thanks guys sorry I mean with Yeah that makes the whole hell of a difference actually Yeah I mean, sorry. We're just trying to figure out what you'd want.

We'll do our job. You know, when you say it like that, Red Lake walks past them and goes to pick up the bodies. Anyway, we'll do our work, and you guys do go up ahead and we'll just get rid of these bodies here. And I feel like Doran joins him. He's like, how, I mean, we didn't know. I thought you made a good point, Doran.

I generally thought there was a good point. Well, thanks. Krayloff came back wrong. Me, hell. They just had to say he wouldn't be Krayloth. How do we know the creepy little dude is even, you know, lawful good? That's what I'm saying, you know?

Mario always had her dodes. I don't know why they feel like... I had my notes, too. It seems like a bit of a change. But you know what? To each their own. I think they need this right now. They seem to be really...

You know, the two of them are acting a little fiery. Oh, get hit a little bit. Yeah, you can't take a hit. I mean, welcome to adventure life. You know what? You know what I wanted to ask her? I want to ask how many fucking times she went down. Oh, did you go down?

Oh, no? Well, guess what? We've all fucking been down like three times. God, take a fucking healing potions and walk it off. You see, Jack? He's never held a sword. 93 headpoints over here You know, God.

Even his midge hand holds a sword wrong. Anyway, help me with his feet. That's amazing. Both of you get inspiration. I don't care of you. Who doesn't happen? That's so fucking good. We all have inspiration now.

I know, but I just want to keep giving it. Do something good then. Doren and Red, we, I imagine we throw the dragon cultists and sort of any evidence. and Alistair into the magma just to get rid of Yeah, into the magma And then after a few minutes

We head back down the tunnel and catch up with Mari and Jack As they, yeah They're muttering away Just like, fucking Marshalls, Jesus Christ, I'll just hide off in the... I'll just hide off their invisible

shooting arrows from a distance Stupid tactical logic It's bullshit Fuck you Oh, I'll just get up in his face and start, you know, I mean, but he does, it's not like, but...

They're not nearly as... It's not like it's... It's not like it's not a thing Jack hasn't done every time. Yeah, Jack's like, oh, well. Yeah, I mean, I'm mad at him too, but not for that reason. And I can't agree with you because then I'd condemn myself. And so I'm just going to try and redirect you, but not succeed. So while Red and Doran are disposing of these cultist bodies, Jack and Mari, you're what,

scouting ahead? Mari realizes that the form of the archer is still sort of on her shoulder, and she kind of looks at it and pulls at it almost and it's weird how it feels and she closes her eyes for a minute and in a quick flash the cape is gone and it is now formed into this shimmering goblet of stars in her hand that she's now holding and she's now using the form of the starry form of the chalice and she she looks at jack and she he looks beat up and she feels beat up and she pours a little bit of the shimmering, like glittering, incorporeal liquid from that into her hand, and it all ripples outwards onto both her and Jack, and it's all healing magic.

The starlight heals the bruises and takes some of the cuts away. Jack's eyes go a little wide. That's incredible. How much you heal them for? You do this while Red and Duren are disposing of the bodies. Yes. You heal yourselves up. Just a little bit of private healing.

Awesome. Jack, it's 19 hit points back. Whoa. And Mari gets 24. I feel like a few moments later you see Red and Doren walking back over. Dusting your hands. Dusting our hands off. And we kind of stop in front of you guys. Red just like eyes you both up and down, very clearly aware of what just happened.

He's like, all right. Okay. Let's keep going. And he like heads up. Still wounded. Like he took 20 damage in the last. last fight. Like, he's himself, like, you know, bandaging himself up. He's like, you know, did you take any damage to him? Yeah, I took 20 points of damage. Yeah. Oh, well, hey, you know

what? Yeah, you got to do what you got to do, right? Yeah, but I mean, for someone giving me hassle about, you know, being invisible. And then we like mudl off. Red will remember this. Yeah, it's like one of that, that moment in video games, Red will remember your actions. Yeah. I mean, it takes Jack to perfectly full hit points. Oh, you're all up. Jack's back up to... Yeah, it was exactly the right amount to have like no, no cuts, no bruises, no, you know, frozen bits anymore.

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