Dice Shame - 2-77 | 'Double Jeopardy'

Episode Date: February 15, 2024

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm not a demolitions expert. There's a mathematical equation that they have. No, no, no, no, inside. Let me just... Jack, you're a goddamn genius. Chekhov's dynamite. Does this place become so foul and corrupt? Having a little jog?

Duck and copper! How do we even go about it? What a terrible idea. It's a bit late for that now. It takes a big dwarf to admit he was wrong. Do whatever the hell you want. It's double jeopardy and a second explosion can't kill you. That's...

Is that... Even I know that's not how double jeopardy works. And I'm the dumb one. Welcome back to Dyshame. This is Season 2, Episode 77, Double Jeopardy. MVP this week is Suda, who's been live blogging their list on our Discord and said that they're a big fan of the fact

that The Owl seems to be from Minnesota. I try my best, Suda. You are this. This week's MVP. Ah, yeah. Shall we do this? Yeah, let's do it. All right.

I feel like a good D&D party is often characterized by the way that its party members compliment each other, right? You have people who fulfill different roles. There's like people who can lock pick and people who can talk to animals and people who can, you know, heal and all that stuff. Everyone's got kind of like their own role within the party, right? Yeah. Yeah. True. I mean, of course there are like meme versions of party makeup where it's all barred.

Yeah, yeah. I hate playing games like that. They're the worst. They're always funny in concept and everyone has such a great time making the characters and you play and you go, oh, shit. None of us can fucking hit. Wait, we just clobbered by a group of goblins. Yeah, absolutely.

And thinking about that this evening made me think about the roles within a heist movie. So in order to pull off a successful heist, you can't have all of one genre of person. No, you need a driver. We're all just bomb people. You definitely need a world-class acrobat. I'm not sure why, but you need one. And just one person who's really good-looking. You need an inside man.

What I want to know is if the five of us human individuals were to commit a heist, cops don't listen. Turn this off. If you're a police officer, you have to tell us or else it's entrapment. Please write in. You have to. And you get a magic hat that gets you one extra skill. What's our email address?

Disham Podcast at g-mol.com. The joke landed. The thing. Yeah, it was good. If we, the five members of this podcast, we're going. going to be committing a heist? What role would everyone? Alex Guthrie is, without a doubt, in my mind, the wheelman. I absolutely 100% agree. He would. I am glad you said that because that's what I was

going to say. Without a doubt, be getting us out of there. We'd be running in the car and they'd be like, strap in. Hopefully got your seat belts on. You know, spinning. Yeah. That'd be him. Agree. 100%. Thunk, thunk. That was wrong. That for me was the only person. Well, I've got a couple other ideas, but for me, that was the one big checkmark was Alex Guthrie behind the wheel. For sure. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Because that, like I said, I would have pegged myself like that. Because you're too much of a wildcard for anything else. Well, that's the real reason. Because of his previous intro story about 150 episodes ago where he talked about taking the railroad tracks at 60 kilometers now. I've also

seen him drive. He's a dangerous drive. He's a dangerous drive. driver, but he's definitely fast. He's dangerous. But he's consistently. But sometimes you need that. He's definitely the right kind of driver for a getaway driver. Funny you say that because I was sliding around on the 407 this morning. I was what I was going to say.

I was like, I know you. Hold. Handle. Handle. But Alex is not the man in the van. I believe that position belongs to Rob Diobald. Oh, you mean like the Overwatch. Yeah.

He's the guy who's taking in the communications. he's breaking into the what's it called hacking yeah he's doing all those hacking things Rob is a hacker I was almost thinking you know Rob also plans I think he's like also kind of the guy with the plan no man I wouldn't I wouldn't follow a Rob plan no offense Rob well no no listen there's like the face and that's hold on there's there's elements of the plan Would I trust Rob implicitly overlooking schematics? Absolutely. Would I trust him to like know the inner workings of like a building and all that kind of

shit? He knows every pipe. 100%. But in terms of the overarching like how we do this, I would be. No, no, no. I would be the plan man. Is it me? I would be the plan man.

I don't know. I'd be the man with the plan. You're the man with the plan? 100%. I'm going to say Harlan, you're sort of the man with the plan. But you see, Rob's actually developed the plan. you're implementing it, adding flare. A good plan doesn't have flare.

Making sure everybody is on board. You're really instrumental in leading. You're confusing red with, you got to understand. I edit this podcast, I mix master. The level I put into this and all of my works, I put on a lot of guys because I like the face aspect of it too. But when it comes to orchestrating this stuff, it's a tight, well-oiled machine.

Dysheim for the most part, as well as the other projects I'm a part of. I've worked with a lot of you in other ways. I absolutely have a good bird's eye view of the way things can kind of fall into place. And when it comes down to it, I feel pretty strongly about certain things. Yeah, okay, fair enough, fair enough, fair enough. I will be the later because I will not follow your instructions. Correct. I think Alex Nersal is the gear.

So she's the one who goes in with the bombs. She's the one who cracks the safe. Three, four duffel bags. Has one of everything in her closet. Yes. I think she's the, the handy person. You need a boomerang? I got it. Harlan's looking up into the middle distance like he's... I'm wondering. I don't know. I'm trying to think.

I could see Nurse Hall playing like a, like, what's that woman's day? Rodriguez. What's that? Michelle Rodriguez. Yeah. I could see you playing like that kind of character. You got the cargo. Because I'm a chick? Well, no, but because you've got the brown hair. Okay, fine. Should I say like the rock kind of like. You know, you got the FBI agent working against the fast crew. The camo pants, kind of like the tank top and the bulletproof vest with the pockets and the guns hanging out.

I get seen herself as the inside, man. The person who's, like, working in there, like sneaky. She gets a job in the agency. Yeah, because you're intelligent, you're able to, like, bluff to an extent, but no one's going to put you under direct questioning as well as, like, you have a amicable way that you'd be. able to get, you know, comfortable with everybody in the building to the point where, like, here's the scene. I could see Nersal being like, oh, Jeremy, oh, let me put your coffee in your room for you type shit. Grab his key card. He's like, oh, thanks, Alex. You swipe it. You put his coffee in. But on the coffee is the bug and it's in the security room and you say, we're in,

and then you leave. Like, you're in the place becoming friendly with everybody because you enjoy that sort of... You do make frenzies. You excel at that. sort of social, you know, economy type thing, but with a mischievous edge, you'd be able to kind of use that to your advantage. You know what I mean? I have this vision of like the entrance of the bank and in walk, Alex and Robb. And they're like, you know, they both kind of look at each other and give a nod. And then they enter the bank and you go in different directions.

They, I'm going to tell her sick. You go to tell her two. That's what I mean. This is where we scope. And Rob's like looking around where the cameras are. And Alex is like, I'm amicable, but I'm too unlikable. Like I would, I could be like, hey, but like two. hours and they'd be like, I don't, I don't like him. I don't trust him. I don't want him to get me

the coffee. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like I, I, that's my, that's how I could see in yourself. What do you think, yourself? It's hard because there's not defined, there's not, you know, who defines these rules. I mean, really, who's to say that. Well, there's the expert. One person is like the person who's like actually hacking the thing, which I don't think exists in. I was going to say that's like Rob. That's like, kind of Rob's the infotech guy. Rob, break it. I don't, I don't know that I'm a hacker or at least that's not. a skill I currently have. I'd love to have that, but...

You could, though. I think you could manage it. Harlow would be like, oh, we're... Well, we've got to go in this way. And then Rob's like, actually, technically, that won't work. We've got to do this. Oh, yeah. Definitely, the expert.

I can absolutely see him correcting 100%. Rob is nothing, if not the well actually guy. He's the well-read person who's going to make sure all of... And nurse, I was like, let's just blow through the front fucking door. And if he's not, he'll learn about it. Exactly. Actually, you know what? Leave that with me for an hour.

Then he walks into the room and comes back with 10 e-books on the subject. A bunch of schematics and he's like, here's the proper way in. Absolutely. So what are you doing then, Joe? And Joe, you're obviously the sex appeal. You're the one who like walks in. That's just because you're married to me. No, no.

You're the titties. You're the one who walks in at the end with like the sequin, like with the slip up and like the handbag and like, you know, giving the, and like all eyes on you. Exactly. And you're like at the crap. table like rolling double sixes and you win you're the one that doesn't get in the getaway car you're the one that walks out with the with the owner of the establishment oh that's fun but you like drip you drip poison into his like drink you know what I mean yeah I'll blow on those dice yeah you're the you're the floosie oh could you blow on my dice for for a little luck I'll be

the flusie that's fine oh I thought this is a double entendre and what were your password last But I get to wear, like, a gun way high up on my thigh, right? You have to. I have to. At least one. Syringes, syringes. Because you're, like, you got, like, the medical science background, too, right? Like, you know how to give them just enough to keep them on the toilet diarrhea.

Without. Oh, my God. I give everyone diarrhea. It's so sexy. My stiletto heel is a knife. And also, you're shitting your brains out. Sex appeal, diarrhea. That's what I'm here for.

Okay, but tell me I'm wrong. I've just poisoned you. I've got the antidote right here. And they're like, you're not wrong. It should start acting in any second. And then all of a sudden you hear like, I think I do well as a fixer in the way that if I'm working,

if I get stuck behind the scenes, then my general skill is having to clean up the messes that other people have created. Oh. Says things go wrong. I think that's fair and true. But if we're doing a heist and we need a fixer, we're doing a bad job at a heist.

This is a bad heist. Are you saying that we were doing a good job at a heist? Yeah. Inside, flusie, expert. So Alex is like the may not be part of the heist if everything goes well. No, no, no. Well, a fixer is like, having done a risk assessment, you would decide whether you're in or out, about three quarters the way through the movie to be like,

You guys are fucking nuts. You're the fucking turncoat. You're the one on our team who ends up flipping on us, and that's what gets us into hot water three-quash. I was supposed to lead this party. But then we find out it was the whole part of the plan. I was going to say the flip was orchestrated from the beginning. And that was the real flip.

Plus also, she does the explosives. I'm standing by that. Yeah. I still think you're the inside man, but fair enough. I think there's something, I think there's something about my personality. that makes people think I'd be good with blowing shit up. And it's pretty consistent. I was just about to say,

I enjoy this. You know, it's like we all jump in the getaway car and we made at that random spot on the side of the cliff highway, you know, and that like turn off parking lot. I pair a sail in somehow. And then we all get out of the car and Alex is there and she tosses a new set of keys and we get into a different car. And she drives away in the original getaway car. And then you don't know what happens, but you know that we all kind of look at each other. Which car was the money in? Oh, no, she took the money.

That's where I pull up in the car. The correct car. You mean this one? The Chevy Cruise? Well, Tom. Regardless, I think we would make a pretty bomb team. In the same way we make a pretty bond team. Yeah, we need six more.

Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do the D.P. Let's do the D&D. Done. Dunned, dunk, don't. As the minty tingling sensation of the Myconid's hallucinatory communication fades, you open your eyes.

Doran, Jack, Mari, Red, and Alistair all stand at the foot of a huge cave-in, having made an appreciable dent and just now broken through to the other side. albeit only a small hole What do you mean context, Doran? How is there anything other than taking that is your cousin is clearly betraying you and your family for that matter? I mean, you can't take that out of context, really. That's what you just said two seconds ago.

What, are you re-summarizing because it's the start of a new episode or something? Look, are you trying to reiterate what you were saying? I don't know how to say this, but I kind of spaced out between the last sentence I said. and what you just said. It's only been a few seconds. Are you implying that it's been weeks between recordings

that you don't remember what you just said seconds ago? I think what I'm getting at here is... Everyone just has a nosebleed. I've been on vacation for days. What are we doing? Tomorrow's got like a coffee in her hand. Where are we? All right, look, time is not on our side.

If Gautier is malicious and clearly he is and his intent, maybe Doreen is at risk. We need to get out of here fast. We can't take our time moving one stone at a time. time. Well, there's one risky option that doesn't involve magic. Oh, good. Is it using Doran as a battering ram?

I don't think his head is thick enough. No, and maybe, Elister, I don't know if you've ever seen dynamite, but used to be an engineer. Maybe you can help us figure out a way to set this in the wall in a way that's going to clear us out and not kill us, Jack says, as he reaches into his portable hole and pulls out the

dynamite we rescued from Zozenbafel. Whoa, whoa. You want to blow a hole in the wall. You're the one who said time... After it just came down because of an explosion. Time is of the essence. No risk, no reward. Jack, you're a goddamn genius.

It's double jeopardy and a second explosion can't kill you. That's... Is that... Even I know that's not how double jeopardy works. And I'm the dumb one. You guys are all chatting and in the background, Doran is just, you know, going back and forth. You see him. He's moving...

Coming out of this mushroom trip, like, we got to get these rocks moved. So as you guys are chit-chatting, and I think even, you know, maybe there's a moment where Jack, when he goes to turn to Elster, you see Elister and Doran, like continually moving these rocks

while you guys are chatting. Yeah, Alistair is helping Doran slowly move these boulders, and he turns to Jack, and he says, I still am, technically. So I'm not a demolitions expert, and this dynamite is 500 to a thousand years old. So, good luck. Who knows what's going to happen, but we got to get out of here.

How do we even go about it? And Red takes it from Jack's hands and tosses it to tell us. Oh, geez. Take it on, buddy. The important thing about this dynamite, okay, is that you can't just put it up against a wall and hope for the best. You've got to find the perfect place to nest it and put it amongst some stones and rocks. we got a micanid-sized hole Yeah

Would you know how to do that Like where to play stuff Would a stone cunning intellect help Yes absolutely If only we had some kind of Stone or rock expert I hate to break it to you But I know a great deal

I'll do it Don't worry Where should we put it red Red Pushes past door The hand on face You know just the guy he's right over there

and then I run over and I'm the one skating like I pointed to nothing and then I ran looking at this rock wall my question is actually going to be more

how far are we from making our way through moving these boulders by hand you would estimate like a good 40 minutes to make a hole that's big enough 40 minutes I'd like to roll stone cutting

and see what I know about possibly placing this dynamite in a good position, 10 total. Doran, you know kind of just general basic stuff about rock slides, for instance, the further you try to enlarge this hole, the greater the chance is that you're going to cause more rocks to fall down potentially in dangerous ways. You kind of have to go about shifting these boulders strategically, which is why it could take you some time to build a hole As far as the best place to put dynamite, your guess is as good as anyone else's. Well, okay, and Doran's inspecting the hole.

Now, let me just chime in here. Since you guys are considering throwing some dynamite into this, there's a mathematical equation that they have, which determines where and when you can place dynamite. Now, I don't know that mathematical equation, okay? But I do know this, that if you put a piece of dynamite into that wall, it's definitely going to cause more trouble than what it's worth. Well, if we put it in willy-nilly, of course, but not if we use this math that you talked about?

Well, look, no. And Doran, using his skill and knowledge, points up the wall, and he says, you can't see this red. Well, maybe you can, but it takes a trained eye. Look where the slide is. Look where it's going to come down. If there's anything, and Doran starts pointing all over the wall, these like random positions. Dorn, Dorn, Dorn, and Red grabs Doren's shoulders. Do you not realize what just happened? Your mother is in trouble, Doren. And she lies on the other side of that rock wall.

This dynamite is the quickest and most powerful way through. You know what? Red, do whatever the hell you want. But I'll tell you this much. That dynamite better not go off while I'm near there. And I'm moving those boulders. And it's not going to take me long. In fact, the longer we stand here talking,

we're going to get through that wall and I guarantee it so do what you want and Doron scoots away kind of why are you angry you? Chekhov's dynamite we'll just put it back in the bag and use it again later yeah let's not do the

fun plan Alistair turns to you Mari and he's like can you get Doran away from the wall for long enough for us to set up this dynamite to go off oh I mean I can try and she sort of looks over at red and and

let's say Rob again damn it now it counts before you could have stopped yourself and it wouldn't up the counter but now it just spun over one more Rob and Jack it's up the counter look over and give them a little shrug

and she's like hey Doran quick thing can you come over for a second it'll be quick it'll be quick and Doran like annoyedly throws the boulder that he's holding like further than where he's piled in the rest of it almost hits the myconid, but just barely doesn't.

Oh. Yeah, he kind of stomps over to you. Careful with that. Marie. Can you not see, I'm trying to get through this rock wall so we can get to my mother and possibly save her life? No, no, I know. I know. Just, it's a quick thing. You know, I just gave you that ring, and I have

a quick concern about it only because the magic can be a little unstable. So I just want to take a look at it and just make sure that it doesn't, you know, do anything weird or turn your hand into a fish, sure, explode itself and you lose a finger. Fine, whatever. And Doran starts to like remove the thing, remove it from your hand. No, no, it's fine. Just show me,

just show me your hand. And she like... Here, I'll just give it to you. You can look at it. And then behind the two of you, like, your backs, like, turn away from the wall. Well, I don't know. I guess put the dynamite away, Jack. There's no point in trying to... Pst, guys. What? Elista? Yeah. Now's our chance. Let's do it. I've wanted to blow up something with dynamite like this. Ever since I was a little baby gnome.

You want to kill Dorn? No, no, no, no. Doran's busy over there, quick, quick, quick. Oh, well, look, I think he might have had a point about, you know, the wall. But, I mean, you're a Dyrrigan now. Maybe you know something. Can you see anything? Elister goes over to the wall and casts a quick eye over it.

And he's like, I mean, I think the best idea is probably just to shove it in this hole, right? Sure. I mean, you're an artificer. You're the one who knows this kind of shit. If you think it's smart, go for it. I mean, smart. Jack and I will run behind this. Boulder and cover eyes.

Stubbs. You have subs too, right? He unwinds this ancient... I love the idea that Doran starts looking over and Mari's like, I heard that foraging metal is really quite easy. Here, just take the ring. Just take the ring. No, no, no, no. Let me just look

right now just as is, okay? I also want to check the fit to make sure that it's like properly fitted. It's not cutting on circulation or anything. There's like times for this and times not for this. and this is not one of those times for this is it's fine it'll just take it'll take a few moments it's fine i just want to make sure that it's all okay that the magic is safe oh meanwhile the sticks of dynamite are loaded into this little myconed hole they're like busting out and kind of like

tumbling down a little bit at the rock wall and close up on elisters quivering fingers as he gingerly twists together all of the fuses into one giant big boy fuse. Slow pan over his shoulder where Red's eating an apple and like, be careful, buddy. You don't want to have, I've, I've no matches. I don't smoke. If I smoked, I would have matches, but I don't smoke. And he looks over at you, Red and Jack. I smoke.

Oh, hold on. Doren, and Red runs over and like fishes in a Doran's pocket and pulls out his lighter because he smokes all the time. He always has a cigarette lit for some reason, so I'm just going to grab his lighter. What the hell? Don't worry about it. And Red runs the lighter back to Elton. We're doing my Flint.

Doran, just look at me right now, okay? Don't engage with what Red is doing. He is only trying to distract you. No, no, it's got to be a, oh no, I dropped to the ring. We got to duck down. Mari, Maury. Doran sort of leans in. Doran, if you pull your hand away right now, then what's going to happen is your fingers

is going to blow right off. We're only going to have like five seconds, okay? Dorin sort of leans sort of leans into you, Mari. He's like, if I didn't know anybody. I think that red was trying to distract me or something. We hear the flick of the lighter. You gotta trust him, Doran. Trust him.

And then the hiss of the fire working its way up the fuse. And then for a second, nothing. Duck in cover! Doran, I think it's time we run. Run. And she just grabs him, pulls him, pulls. The air is full of boulders and just this huge pressure wave. knocks everyone off of their feet.

Luckily, it seems like none of you have sustained any major damages as you brush yourselves off and the dust begins to settle. What the hell is going on? I said not to dynamite it. Don't you know what you're doing? We're saving the day is what we're doing.

It's a bit late for that now. Wait, did anyone pick up the mushroom and bring him away from the explosion? Yeah, I got him. Don't worry. Oh, good. To my shoulder. Oh, that's not the mushroom. That's okay.

You know what? just pretend the mushroom on his shoulders alive. Let's go, everyone. He's fine. He's tucked up inside of Jack's wizard hair. He's not Kieran. Yeah, this is a character Joe made. She cares about this one.

That's right, that's right. Now you get it. Now we're all on the same page, finally. Quiet, Doran, Ellis to save the day. Let's get to your mother as soon as possible. So, but, like, was there any resulting damage from this? or did it actually is clear? Of course not.

Um, yeah, so the tunnel passageway is now clear. It's full of tons of fucking rubble and stuff. And if there was anyone else on the other side, they're definitely not anymore. Um, but you guys are all fine. Good job. Turin sort of stands up and dust himself off. Oh my God.

What a terrible idea. We're lucky that that worked out. Takes a big dwarf to admit he was wrong. Let's go. Let's go save your mom, Doran. Yeah. And Red starts running out towards the way towards Scarborough. They all together.

Dun, da-da-da-da-da-dan. Dun-da-da-da-da-da-da. What's your running order? Is everyone running? We're hustling. Yeah, sure. Having a little jog. It's like that scene in the Lord of the Rings

where it like zooms out and you can tell when it changes from real-life people to... Except it zooms out and the camera bumps into the wall on the other side because we're underground. And it's just, it's pitch darkness, so all you hear is just a bunch of people running by. Hey, they spent a lot of time underground in Lord of the Rings. And I was talking about an underground shot when they're on Moria and they're like trying to run. Oh, maybe. I was thinking the top of the mountain when they were.

Yeah, I was thinking of that. Fair enough. Doran runs out taking the lead through this destroyed, broken rock slide wall. I'm coming too. Red will take up the rear. I think Elester is probably close on your heels there. Doren, eager to prove himself. I'm coming, Mama.

I think Doren's sort of given him a little bit of the side eye. That was really dangerous and stupid, but it doesn't really have time to stop and talk about it. Yeah, we're busy now. Adventures to have. You come to a now familiar passage when you passed on your way

to the graveyard earlier today. A deep but narrow chasm cuts through the stone floor underfoot and is spanned by two wooden bridges. On the other side of this chasm are several figures. You see several dwarves and they don't look terribly friendly based on the bristling weapons that they are all armed with. There is also a curious-looking earth elemental type creature. That's no good.

Dorn runs up and approaches sort of this bridge that's got a group of dwarfs. dwarves on the other side. Mm-hmm. Doran, now that you are fairly close, you see that they are all wearing the same kind of armor that the militiamen from Gautier-Brighthelm's manner were. Have they seen me?

Yes, they appear to be waiting for you. Oh. Doren sort of halts when he sees this group of dwarves and he turns back towards his companions who are running up slowly. And he says, do we want to go across this? bridge where they're clearly waiting

for us, for who knows what reason. Wait, why don't we just tell them to get out of the way? No, just ask nicely. We're on a mission. Maybe they're coming to check out the explosion. Shall I go well. Yeah. Bullying him around. You're a sergeant around here, man. You're a big deal. You're a big deal. Yell at them a little. Or just avoid

and go and go that bridge. What's going on? Why have we stopped? Red, there's a group of dwarves on the other side here waiting. Just push through them. We've got to get to your mother. One of them begins to walk forward and then points at you across the bridge

Doran. Didn't expect to see you up and walking, Iron Fist. Not flattened by the rocks? Ah, so was you? You must be Gautier's men. It was you that

created the rock slide, wasn't it? Red shouts from the back of the party. The dwarf that is in the far rear of his party, speaks up, and this dude looks different than the others. He's got, like, a bandolier across his chest that looks

like it's covered in grenades. Oh. And he, he nods at you, and he goes, That'll be me, son. That'll have been me. Son. He's talking to me, I think. I am much younger than all you. You all look very old.

How dare you? Look, it doesn't need to go this way. Doran, tell him. We just want to get past him. true. You know who I am. You know why I'm here. You're not getting into that city, Doran. And why the hell not? Has this place become so foul and corrupt that the people of my own cloth deny me access to see my dying mother? While my cousin threatens her with her life, you sicken me, you people. To me, Doran, the man in the front takes another step towards the bridge. he's almost standing on its wooden slats.

You are the coward. We haven't seen your face around here for 25 years. Coward! This is the axe of Thorold Flame Tom. That's right. You step to us! I'll fucking kill you! And see this shield here? And he clangs his chest with his fist.

This here is the breastplate of Captain Nergerald Chaos Hammer. I took down a two giant things And we still have three more to go Who the hell are you And get the hell out of my way And Doran crosses the bridge Yeah, yeah

Everybody roll initiative Doodda da da Mari would you get I rolled a 14 Harlan would you get 12 Uh Alex

An unnatural 21 No, Jack 14 Mari and Jack you both have 14 Who wants to go first? Mari can go first

Yeah, I'll go first All right Does Doren get close enough Where he's doing one of those tough guy things Where he pushes his chest up against this guy's chest Yeah, you guys are in melee range Like we're in each other So if you want to touch him on the chest

That's fine I'm like, what are you going to do about it? Red looks to Jack Kind of with a panic look this is going down. Did he got this? Are you okay? I'll figure something out.

All right. I got you back if you need it. Just let me know. Thanks. Do you need like a weapon or something? A dagger? Jack pulls out the dagger from his belt where he was practicing with Dora not too long ago and says,

if nothing else, I've got this. He cuts himself immediately. Oh, God, you are a dweeb. Thank you to our wonderful patrons, Adam Frye, Afflicted Adina, Aizu Yuckei, Alison Wrights, Alistair, Anne, Atholagov, Axel, Barry Ginette, Casey, Cetel Lee Wilson, Sherry Rose Anderson, Christopher, Colin Burckhart, Crow, Daniel, Dippity, Flynn, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, Haley, Haley, Hap of the Mox, J.D., Joy Robinson, Julie Holderman, Jury, K-R, K-M, Cade, Lasagna, Last Ruth on the left, Leader J, Liz.

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