Dice Shame - 2-81 | 'A Fly on the Wall'

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nothing to worry about now because we're currently wanted. Jack, you're not helping. But canonically, that's not me, and it's frustrating. Doran, don't worry about it. That tension, where'd it go? We've been trying to build it. RIP, that guy. Oh, my God.

I don't know how I could prove this to you, but I've done nothing wrong. We've got to have all our options open, right? Do you know what that word means? It tastes real bad. On hammer a moron, and I'll do it. Oh, never mind. I don't have to give this to him. He's hurting right now.

My exit plan is turned into a bug and leave. That's always your exit. That's not even yet. To play. That's normally a plan. I feel like Murray wants to go retire and be a spider. So I just find a nice corner somewhere. Guys, I am half spider right now.

One foot in the web over here. Let me out of here. Welcome back to Dyshame. This is Season 2, episode 81, a fly on the wall. This week is Candy Corn. Candy corn writes, heartbreaking. Local woman only has two episodes of Dishame left, but has developed a dependency.

I'm sorry for the dependency, Candycorn. We know the feeling well. You are this week's MVP. Congratulations. All right. Should we play some D&D? Yeah, let's do it. Woo!

Woo! Bo-woo. It's been a rough go of it trying to get to a session, actually. We're here. Yeah. We made it. I'm so glad everyone made it. Rob, I hate to point the finger at you, my friend.

It's all Rob's false. Robb's fault. I mean, we only had to cancel twice because of my car or lack there. Two times in a row. Two days in a row. How did that happen? I mean, we... I'm in love with my car.

We technically didn't have to cancel the first day, but we did anyways. We thought we did. Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things where you... you take your car to a place and you're sure you know when you get you're going to go pick it up and so you go there and you know wait back to hear from the guy and it's like oh yeah sure right right at the time we're going to record just come by and pick it up and then 10 minutes before that that's not ready I'll call you back and then you don't hear back and you don't hear back and you're like well any minute now we can't record because I have to go get my car except I didn't hear back

till midnight that it was be back the next day wait they called you at midnight he texted me at midnight, to say, oh, actually, come pick it up tomorrow. Somehow that's more deranged. Hold on this car place texted you? Working on my night car. The idea of like my mechanic texting me to be like, hey, you up? Hey, bro. You're up.

You're so upsetting. I mean. Go your car? So they. Ew. Booty call, but boot like the trunk of a car. They close at six. I called him at 5.30 and was like, hey, can I come get my car?

He's, oh, I'll go check if it's done. I'll call you back. I'll go check if it's done. He didn't call me back. six o'clock when they're closed technically but open finishing stuff up he didn't call me back we get into like 730 I'm trying to call him he's not picking up he's ghosting me 8 o'clock I'm like they got to be closed I guess so I texted him because I had his number and he's like oh yeah left left it till midnight when he got back to me so fuck whatever so well wasn't it supposed

to be ready at 3 o'clock on that day well so that's the next day oh when he says it'll be ready at 3 o'clock right so we're like okay for sure everyone can record the next day no problem We'll just push it. Yeah, it's going to be great. Don't worry about it. Not an issue. Rob will have his car. Yeah, and Rob can't record without his car.

He needs his safety car. Oh, have you all not been picturing Jack in a car this whole time? Oh, yeah. That was a really important character choice. I forgot to mention. Jack drive fast. Every time you see Jack from the beginning of the podcast, he's sitting with one arm out the window in a car. He's a robot in disguise this whole time.

Car is actually really big part of his personnel. No, he's just a car. He's just a car. Kieran is a car. Oh, God. Yeah. So I wish that was the end of it. But the next day, three o'clock, I call him like, okay, I'm going to come pick up my car, right?

She says, ah, it would be four o'clock, actually. Okay, fine. Four o'clock calls, it'll be five o'clock, actually. I'm like, all right. Fuck it. Oh, God. Still two and a half hours. That's okay.

I think at 5.30, I walk down there because it's at least the only saving grace is it's like 15 minutes from my house to walk to. So 5.30, I get there. I'm like, it's. gotta be done. I'm a half an hour after they said it'd be done. They've had it for two days. Just to frame this, what was the work being done on it? I mean, there was a bunch of little shit, but the big

thing was the rear brake caliper went, and so it was making a real good squeal noise when I was trying to get it home, and it was like, I can't drive this. Well, the rear brake caliper, you know, that's going to take at least two years to make sure we get all. I figured I should get, you know, the winter tires and the oil change while I was there just to, you know.

Oh, so it was your fault. You asked too much of them. That's not fair. Honestly. They're just a poor little business rock they're not real good at like complicated you can't ask for more than one thing at a time so anyways i get there i'm told it's oh it's it's up on the thing don't worry about it it's up on the thing it'll it'll be a couple of minutes it just just it's almost done we so five 30 six 30 i'm like fuck we're getting close to record time again i better make this i but it's fine i think six 30 i ordered food thinking i'll be home you know whatever rate shouldn't starve i recall you had a bond me sandwich i did order a bond me sandwich it's still waiting

730 rolls around we're supposed to start recording car is still not done 8 o'clock it's finally like coming down then guy is in there himself trying to fix something on the floor he gets up he starts backing it out I pay the man and he's like did you say something was wrong with the heat and I was like yeah you know it was on the list for two days it's fine don't worry but so I watched a whole other guy who didn't for this shop, replace his door harness, like tear his whole door apart, replace all the electronics as his door, put it back together, and leave while they did my car. That's awesome. Were you just in someone's house?

Was this like an Etsy shop car shop? It definitely had a big garage door. So then finally, we're all paid up. He's backing out. I'm like, okay, you get it out of your garage. I'll wait there. I walk down to the end of the driveway. and I turn around and he's under the hood again.

I'm like, what the fuck is going on? So I walk back over there. Oh, your front light went out while I was driving. Because I hit it with this wrench. I pay the man and he's like, oh yeah, one more thing. I lost a socket in your car. If you find that, could you bring it back to me? And then insult to injury, I get home.

I'm looking at what I paid and he charged me for 11 oil filters instead of one. Well, you have 11 oil. I know. It was just a thing. fucking to do but anyway you know the socket wrench basically you took it because i lost it in your car so i charged you for the socket wrench but we don't have socket wrench in the computer so i just put 11 oil filters to cover the yeah or oil i'm sorry i would have given you a discount or something it was it to do wait your car doesn't use 11 oil filters but i i made it die shames problem

and you know the worst part is he just locked eyes with you and probably gouged you anyway at the end you know he just because you can't do anything you can't but you can't negotiate he's probably just like, oh, and by the way, it'll be $400, as opposed to the 100 I quoted you. I definitely get more of the vibe that they are, that that shop is overwhelmed and a chaotic nightmare, but not inherently malicious. Like, they do good work every other time I've been there. But the fact that they charged me, like, I sat in the shop, after they had it for two days, I sat there for three hours and he charged me for two and a half hours labor.

So they started work after you got there to pick your car up. He was like, fuck, he's back. He came for his car. Fucking mess. Can you imagine? I thought we were getting a free car out of this, but this guy is... If every other time you go there, they fuck it up. Rob, if you go back, I swear to God.

They've never given me a problem before, and they're so close to my house. Can you imagine the pain of the ass? Rob, just don't go next time. Go the time after. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So if you go, if they fuck it up every other time, so next time go for like something like, got a little scratch.

Can you buff it? You come back in your door. is gone. What if they're running a business where they're taking customers' cars and, like, delivering pizzas with them on the two days that they make people wait extra? Mike, you gotta get back here. Rob needs his car.

Quick, deliver those pizzas. It's a mess. Go, go, go, go. He's bond me sandwiches in my back seat. Whoa, your own car delivers your bond me sandwich. The insult to injury was that Rob got home and he accidentally drove over the bond me that was waiting for him.

Oh, damn. And that he still feels a loyalty to. I can sense that you have no qualms about going back. Be honest with us right now. You have no qualms about going back. Convenience is a real selling point for me. You know what, though? I'm the same way.

I'm like, I'm like, but it's just down the block. I've had a relationship with this shop for a decade, have lived here. Like, it's like. Clearly that's been in your benefit with the example of this story, too. Well, we know him. We can abuse the fuck at him for two days. I was going to say it's an abusive relationship. Can I ask?

Was he at least like apologetic? Not particularly until I pointed out the 11 oil filters. And then he was like, oh, yeah, okay, come by and we'll take your fucking car. Oh, wow. Like it was your fault. Yeah, I know. You should sit something earlier, whatever. How much do 11 oil filters run you?

They're 15 bucks a piece. So it's like 165 with tax and all that. That's not bad. What? Yeah. So come on down to, what is this place? You don't want to even name it. I'm not going to name it.

No, no. I just keep thinking about how in the chat this whole time, like Rob's giving us the live updates of how this is going in the group chat. And at one point, like, Joe, you made the comment that like every mechanic there is just has like one customer waiting for a car seeing who has to wait the longest. Describing Robb is, that looks like a guy who is a sandwich at home. Yeah, it's a game show. That guy really unhappy. I was doing my best to be real sympathetic about Rob's situation. And Alex, you were just shit posting the fuck out of chat.

I was having a good time. I don't have a car. Fuck this. I mean, I appreciated it. It did make the weight feel less long somehow. I didn't feel quite so alone. You know, we go to like a name brand place. Like a, you know, that's like part of a, you know, what do you call it?

Like Tim Hortons is part of a franchise chain? Like a master mechanic or something? Yeah, it's like a master, well, it is a master mechanic. I didn't want to say it, but I was like, why the fuck do I care? Yeah, it's a master mechanic. And we went there, and I dropped my car off to get it sort of all tuned up before the baby because the engine light was on and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, not a dissimilar story, frankly, but we have two cars, so it was much

less important to wait on, we're just using the other car. And literally, it went in, and he's like, oh, you don't have to worry about, like, getting this back tomorrow, do you, can we take some time with it? I was like, yeah, yeah, that's fine, like, no worries, do the whole thing. and like a week rolls by I think it was like almost two weeks roll by which again I wasn't too perplexed by but I figured they'd call me back at some point

there's a lot of work to be done like the gas tank needed to be replaced or whatever so I call them and they're like hi yeah who's this or whatever I'm like Harlan Gathrieu and like I dropped off the car and they're like oh yeah yeah yeah okay we haven't got to it yet I was like what what he goes you know the two people that own this franchise

yeah they left he was like I work at the other one and I just came over to take on all their business and I was like when I went in there to pick it up like all they just like gutted the place like there's there's like chairs missing and like I don't know what happened

yeah and I was like whoa so I was like you know you can't really blame them for that it's not like that well that's why I wasn't angry at them but I thought it was really funny that here we were like oh you know and we had you know again similarly a relationship somewhat like you recognize the person when you come in because they do all your

work or whatever just totally they up and left it's like oh yeah and they took the clients with them they uh they just decided to start a new life elsewhere and your car oh my my trick is just not owning a car i mean it helps it works yes yes i just borrow my moms like the eternal teenager i am good way to stay young but here we are finally sitting down for another session brought his car on fire outside. Everyone picture Jack in his car for the rest of this episode. I tucked it in to bed before I came up here,

so we're ready to record. Let's do it. Small is your car. Or how big is your bed? Speaking of escaping your life, you know? I'm just curious as to like what kind of car each character would drive. Ooh.

I think Ryan to drive like a little little like Italian red car. You know like with the little half windshield like it just comes up five inches above the dash like one of those little like tiny 1950s racers he drives like a fucking asshole

face full of bugs and he's got like a really long scarf too like a fiat he's full of bugs yeah because the windshield's too short he's a tall so his head's just he's just getting pelt and he's like snacks while driving

yeah the bugs are all in his teeth delicious I feel like Jack would drive a PT cruiser because at one point someone thought it was in fashion and bought one and then it was like not and so it kind of hand me down from dad at some point to be like get get this out of here yeah i can see that like it's that's that's the vibe i get i also feel like red doesn't drive his car very much because he can't afford gas well i picture like to be clear like he's driving but

he's like destroying the like you know the oh yeah yeah the transmission is you know like it's but he doesn't care he's like oh wow it's grinding yeah i i imagine that marie or either drives like one of those late 90s revival VW bugs where they had like a little tiny thing that you could put flowers in on the dash or she drives like an original mini Cooper but she's like too tall so her knees are up like that too tall guy in the Simpsons this is the tallest car I could afford you think the size my car is fun just full of water I can also see her on a moped for some reason oh I can see what what color is the car.

Blue. Naturally. Yeah. What about red? Is red? Is red? Yeah. I'm sorry.

My mind is. Very on the nose. Doran's got like one of these like jacked up pickup trucks is like so, so big. I need a ladder to get in and I'm sitting on like a couple of phone books just so I can see a little window. He's maybe like a yellow hummer. Strapping blocks to my feet so I can reach the pedals. I'm thinking bigger like monster truck size, you know.

Very good. Very good. Overcom. Instead of truck nuts, he's got little bum blush. Oh, she's little bum cheeks that are blood. Yes, that's perfect. I want someone on Etsy to make that for you, Alex. I'm going to give it to you for your birth in action.

Somebody's crocheted little bum that's blushing. And Joe, you just drive. And Joe is driving. Joe drives an airplane. Yay. Batmobile. Just a little biplane. Mm-hmm.

It's been everywhere. No, a truly flying car. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. All right. Beep, beep. Soon. Nice.

Gorgans Tavern is a dive bar. It's one of those holes in the wall that feels like it's been here forever. Each square foot of it containing some storied relic. Yes, it is hewn from the stone of the Scarborough Cavern. and its walls, sconces, tables, and bar are all decorated with the sculptures it is known for, all manner of creatures seemingly frozen mid-flight, as if paralyzed by the breath of the Gorgon. But the fear on their faces is made less gruesome by the gentle hand of the artists who carved them, and also by the ornament of years that now clothes them.

The thundering rothay that form part of the bar whose head is turned to look over its shoulder sports lengths of yellow and blue ribbons that have been twined around its horns, for example. And in the corner, a petrified drows, swooning figure wears a sign with dwarvish text that loosely translate to an I'm with stupid joke. The bar hasn't changed that much in the decades since you used to frequent it, Doran. As the party peers through the slats into the main room, you are overcome by nostalgia for a different time. Doren, Lauren, and Gorin are little dwarflets. Beards barely coming in. The three of you here together. It's not your first time and it sure as hell won't be your last.

Lauren, Lauren, hurry up. There's a, there's a coin purse over there. Shh, stay quiet and get low. I bet you if we steal another coin, we can go back to the kitchen and the cook. I'll give us some more of the beef. that fresh beef that mom loves Doran Lauren you guys know that we're going to get in trouble This is Gorin of course The winging of the three of you Goren, don't worry about it We got this Lauren and I

We're on top of this We've done it so many times We remember last summer When I did it and we never got caught But Gorin you aren't with us Just trust me Dorn crawls under the table After Lauren

and Lauren reaches into the purse on the ground. And just as an older dwarf reaches down and picks it up, he's able to snatch a coin. Doran turns to Lauren and says, Quick, now let's get to the kitchen. We can get that steak like mama loves. Lauren scuttles his way here and there around the dwarf legs that are kicking from high benches.

All three of you have these holes worn in the knees of your pants from scurrying around. Maybe you take this same back way into the kitchen, through the walls, past your names that you've carved in the darkness. Lauren, watch up for that tressum. You know, he's a real mean bastard. He'll try to cut us up with his claws. You just stay out of his way.

Mom will kill me. You're my younger brothers. Gorin, hurry up. All right, all right. And you make it into the kitchen, there are bubbling cauldrons of bland stew and these lovely dwarven bread rolls coming out of the oven and the three of you dodge around

where the cooks are busily preparing a haunch of some kind of subterranean meat. And there was always that one cook that seemed to be okay with the young dwarves running around. And he was the one that would give us a wink and hold his hand low so we could put a coin in his hand and then he'd sneak off the grill a big piece of meat.

You three stand out of mischief, all right? Oh yeah, we are. Thanks for this, Mr. We owe you one. It gives you a hunch. Yeah. And we'd scurry back under Gorgon's tavern.

Oh, this is so good. I can't believe how good they make these steaks. Hey, Goren. What do you think? think. Do you like it? Yeah, Gorgans' Tavern is the best. I love this place. Ah, high-five, brothers. High-five. I love you guys. Iron-fist forever. Iron-fist forever. And the three of you put your three little hands in the middle and eat greasy hunks of meat into your stubbled faces. In the space behind the wall, the party looks on as Doran stares.

through the crack. Doran, are you crying? What's wrong? I'm just remembering good times with my... Many a good memory here. Oh, Doran. Doran, you look back out through the spaces between the wooden walls, and once again you're greeted with a memory.

But as a much older dwarf, you're 50 now. Wiser in some respects. What are you doing? He's sitting at a table in Gorgon's Tavern with his cousins, Joel Gat, and Gautier. All right, Joel Gat, it's your deal. Hopefully we don't win this one. Sorry, Gautier.

I love this game, Doran. Oh, you're the best. All right, hold on, hold on. Okay, look, I got three. Here we go, here we go. Oh, Wondi, oh, Gautier, you're out again. You idiot. God dare.

You can't even play this game, can you? He slammed his cards down on the table and swoops his hand across. All the coins just scatter everywhere onto the floor. Oh, come now, come now, Gautier. Stop being such a foul sport. You're cheating. This isn't fair. It's not cheating.

This is gambling. Just because you're losing. It doesn't mean we're cheating, all right? I'm not enough of the two of you. You always ganging up on me. Oh, nobody's ganging up on you. here, stop being such a little whiny baby. Yeah, take it easy.

Joel Gat, the next round's on you. Let's treat Gautier. He seems to be losing, and he's just not very happy about it. You know? Joel Gass raises his hand to the bartender, and we see a younger version of Gereem Blinto, the same man as is currently occupying the bar. He comes around with tankards for the three of you. Yeah, yeah, get all three. of us, would you, Joel Guth? This one can't get

along with us because he keeps losing. And he turns to go to here and he says, you know, you're really going to have to start understanding that sometimes you play, you win, sometimes you play you lose. You can't just have everything your way. Depends on what game you're playing.

Next time I pick the game. All right. Then he gets up and leaves. In the present day, Giram Blonto has just finished applying the wanted poster featuring the Reds-Rover's gang to the wall of the bar, tucked in amongst other leaflets advertising block parties, dulcimer lessons, a couple other wanted posters.

He returns to his post behind the bar, but his eyes linger there on that wanted poster, on the illustration of your faces. And after a moment, he goes back over to the wall. and removes it, bringing it back to the bar with him. Oh, thank God. I think I looked bad in that. Then I looked bad in that.

I wasn't really paying attention. Jowls, they're not that jowly. I need a trim. I need a little shave around my scruff, you know? It hardly even looks like you. It had ears. That's what I'm saying. So much art of me always has ears.

I don't get it. Like, I understand that maybe these wanted poster artists want to add ears to me. But canonically, that's not me, and it's frustrating. writing. Sorry. What does canonically mean? What? Oh. Hi, Alistair. I forgot you're still a thing. He's not on the poster.

He totally is. Oh, is he? Oh, never mind. Is this a thing that happens to you guys normally? Is this a thing that's happened before? Because I'm a little stressed. Oh, no, my first time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that feels like the right approach.

I'm not the first time. What are you talking about? The dwarves and Jalentha? They wanted us, remember? That's about back when we were the Knight Stone Four. Did they have a, they didn't have a poster, though. Oh, well, they didn't have a poster. I think they did. I signed something. That's very good.

That's great. And Mari's like she can feel the water running down her back. The stress is back. It's pouring out of her hair. Well, we can't tell the difference. No, you can't. She can, though. I think she's slightly wetter.

I prefer, like, a poster to, like, the hunt lords where you never know when they're going to show up. At least these, it's like mortal dwarves, you know? Hunt lords. What the, oh, right, those. That's so season one. What now? I'm not, I'm behind on the cannon. I'm sorry.

It's that word again. Nothing to worry about now because we're currently wanted. Feels nice. It was Gyrim that put them up and then took them down? Yeah, so some soldiers came in, gave in the poster. They exchanged some words. They left. He put it up, went back to the bar, and then was like, no, on second thought, and then

pulled it down again. Doran, what's going on? You're just staring out through the slats. Yeah, yeah. Well, Gareth put the posters up And then he took them down Yeah You know, that says to me

Like maybe he's someone we can trust What do you think? Well, hey look When it comes to trusting people in the city We're 0 for 1 So ultimately it's your call If you want to take another swing At trusting somebody

I mean there was that dwarf With the trash fire earlier That was not too bad I guess I don't remember that RIP that guy Technically we're a 1 for 3 But who's counting? I was.

Look, it seems like we're safe here for a moment, and this is quite the cool little hidey hole, Doran. Were you hiding back here when you were a little dwarflet? I was. Which is a word now? And he points over to what looks like some sort of trap door. And through there, that leads into the kitchen, unless it's been blocked off since I was young.

But it wasn't too obvious when I was young, so I'd be surprised. Well, look, us being wanted adds another layer of complication. Now, we're not just hiding from the guard. Anyone who saw that might also be looking to get a spare bit of coin.

We want to hang here and cool off for an hour or two. That might be a good idea, especially considering we flush those guards down the shit drain outside. Oh, yeah. In the other hand,

they're still handing out the wanted posters in an hour or two, maybe the word gets around town a little more as to who we are and that they're looking for us. Also true. Not that I'm, you know, Jack runs his hands through his fried hair. Jack, you're not helping. Listen, Giram put the posters up when the guards were in. And then he took them down when they left. Something tells me like he's probably someone we could put a bet on trusting. If you guys are open to it, I think I'll wait until he goes into the kitchen and then we should go through that door he kind of points at this hidden door again so small it is small but you're skinny you can fit through oh thank you that's all i've been waiting for

ever since that poster it's been like what do i even know about myself so so yeah we're just kind of hanging back and i guess i guess when he goes through the door we'll we'll take a chance and scuttle into the kitchen well you know what maybe look it doesn't take all of us to talk to him why don't the three of us while you go talk to him, maybe wrestle up some disguises. Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe there's some way we can get to the coat room from back here. Hey, Doreen, is there a way we can get to the coat room from back here?

Do Dwarven bars have a coat room? Storage room, something. With coats in it? I guess there's a storage room. Do dwarves wear a coach? And if memory serves me correctly, there's a loose floor panel. And Doreen kind of crawls down and points it. across the crawl space, and he says, in that corner, there's like a cloak room, sort of a

coat room thing, and there's a loose panel. I forgot. Dwarves don't have coats. They have cloaks. I'm so stupid. Oh, geez. Gorgans Tavern isn't so full right now. There's one dwarf that drinks alone at the bar, and a table off to one side holds the only other patrons. Two dwarves, a teetling, and a rock gnome who seemed to be engaged in a quiet discussion over their tankards of ale. So if there are cloaks in the cloak room, probably the only cloak you'd be able to steal that would belong to a medium-sized creature would be that Tiefling's cloak. What about the old trunk in the attic? Every building has an old trunk in the attic.

Do they have a lost and found something? The Gorgans Tavern Tickle Trunk. Full of all the disguises you could need. I do wonder about the lost and found for businesses that have been run for hundreds of years. Is there like random crap in there that's been there for a lot? You've got to put the trunk. Look, when I was running around the copper cup,

I found many a trunk, some with odd objects that made me question things about what you and Torin got up to at night. But most of them were just old clothes. Oh, okay. Good. Presumptuous. Wow.

It's a lot of leather. Yeah. Red opens up a trunk full of, like, kitchen equipment. He's like, Torrin and Jack. What is this? He has no idea. He picks up an egg beater. Oh, my God.

Wow. That looks painful. Healthy romantic relationships must be so weird. Not for me. Slide aside. At least Red knows where his boundaries are. Of course. Somewhere over yours is always.

His hair got caught in the whisk. too, so. All right, look, there has to be a lost and fan, like Mary said, I agree. And there's the coat, so we can take one of the cloaks and, uh, look, Doran, you go deal with your friend. We'll make ourselves useful in preparing disguises. Hmm, sounds good. Just don't get in any trouble, okay, Redd.

Turn around, Red's already, like, eating something, cheese with a, like a mousetrap. Like, what? Where did you get that? You don't know how long that's been under the floorboards. That could be. It tastes real bad. He ate the mouse traps. Yeah, it's also making my mouth numb.

It's just a few minutes, Doran, before Gyrim heads into the kitchen. And that's when Doran takes his chance. He takes his shot, and he attempts to open the little trap passageway door that leads into the kitchen. There is absolutely something stacked on top of it. This bar has seen better days. When you were here, a frequenter of this city, this tavern was a busier place, but now there's like an empty skid.

So it's not heavy, but you're going to like, screech to move it. So I pushed this skid out of the way. Doran drops his disguise before he crawls into the pantry. And the pantry that you enter into is dark. There's some, it smells of like dust and maybe rotten potatoes. But the door to the pantry is open and you see a well-lit kitchen beyond. It doesn't look like Girum has any other staff working here right now.

Doran kind of creeps up to the entrance of the pantry and pokes his head into the kitchen. And very gently says, uh, uh, uh, Gehrum. The old dwarf turns. from the cauldron that he was stirring and looks you dead in the eyes searching you for a second before he recognizes you. Doran Iron Fist.

You remember me. It's been half an age. It has. What are you doing in my pantry? I think you're someone that I can trust. And that's at that

point when Doran steps out of the pantry and now fully into the kitchen. Giram, it's been a long time, and he extends a hand for a handshake. Giram looks you up and down, takes in your golden breastplate, the storied axe slung over your shoulder, and he takes your hand and shakes it. I saw you take down the poster after the guards left. You've been up to your old hiding spots then. You remember.

I'll tell you truly, Doran. It crossed my mind to leave the poster up, and I still might. I might just... I'm not here to cause you any trouble. Ah, the bars seem better days. And I can't afford to get in hot water, you see. Seems to me that the city... he's fallen into some pretty corrupt times.

You're not kidding. Oh. It's so hard to make a living these days when you just, 30 silver on the gold piece I owe to the city. That's, that's, it's unbelievable. What happened to you? What, what's, what's your story? I think Gautier has it out for me.

And I, and I think my mother's in some serious trouble. Giram's eyes kind of glaze over a little bit at the mention of your mother and he looks off into the distance I have fun memories of my mother and of course we didn't always see eye to eye especially when my brothers went missing but hell

you know you have to put things to your side and I came back to see my mother and it was Gautier that told me that she's sick and didn't want to see me but I'm finding it that less and less of what he says I can trust. And I don't know how I can prove this to you, but I've done nothing wrong.

And in fact, the other three and the posters are my, my, my companions, my friends, who I came here with. And they're just here with me to try and find my mother and so I can have some, some peace with her. But I've had attempts on my life, ever since I've walked into these halls. and you know what, there's something foul, brew, and I know it's got a lot to do with Gautier, and if there's any way I can solve that problem while I'm here, by the hammer of Morden, I'll do it. I can't be seen helping you openly.

I don't want your help, not like that. I need some information. I want to know about my mother. I saw the way you reacted when I brought up her name the first time. What happened? Please, just share with me what you know. And I promise you, I'll stay out of your hair and I'll do what I can to help fix this city.

I haven't seen her in a decade. Really? After your father died, I thought she might come by, but that woman's loyal to a fault and headstrong. Yeah. I know where I get it from. I hope she's well. I don't think she is.

Listen, Doran. There's a gnome inside who's here to pick up a payment from me. I can see if maybe he can do me a favor. And he walks into the tap room. Meanwhile, Jack, Elister, Red, and Mari are up to their eyeballs in costumes. Red's actually leaning over Elister being like, Think small thoughts All I'm saying is

We don't need to worry about your costume If you shrink And we know you can get big So why can't you get small Okay so when I got big I was scared about Mari dying And that's why I'm trying to reassure you Everything's great

You're pretty You know, come on And we know saying don't worry about it Is the cure all to every anxiety What I'm trying to say Is the opposite of Mari dying Is Mari giving me a high hug. But she doesn't want to. She said she would talk to you later, and that is not now.

It's later. But what if that helps me turn into a tiny, tiny gnome? Then I'll try hugging you again, and I'll make my hair wet again. It doesn't work with you, Red. We've been hugging for five minutes, Red. It doesn't work. All right. Let me let go, at least, so we can talk properly. Murray, this whole time has been, like, trying, you know when you're, like, trying to not listen to something and you can't not do it. She has spent this entire time fussing with a jacket that Jack's trying to put on and like doing like little mending spells on it and just staring straight ahead, not looking back at this disgusting behind her and just like not even making eye contact

with Jack. She's like, I can't. Oh boy. Yeah, it's definitely we're not talking because we're also not listening, quote, unquote. But we're like, Red's purposefully opening this conversation. Like he's not doing this. through the side. He's doing it like inches away from you two. We're all it's like, he's like

openly, because she doesn't want to. He's like stretching an arm out and hitting Mari. And I feel like Red is fully outfitted already, like kidded top to bottom. This is entirely Red's justification for not giving the cool coat that he saw to Ellister, despite it not really fitting Red right now. Like Red's like, if Ellis is small, I don't have to give this to him. So get small. Elister just starts to hold his breath Yeah, maybe that'll work And then Red turns to Jack And he's like, maybe he'll die again

And at least that'll be one less than to worry about Jesus I don't know what I said if he's gonna hold his breath and die Oh, you guys are so sensitive I'm not taking off this cloak It's a good cloak It's a great cloak You keep the cloak red

Nobody's gonna take the cloak from you Well now you make it seem like I'm being petulant I would never Do you know what that word means? I know it's a good sarcasm means I think that's where you fall

if it's like a I know it's a big deep chasm anyway whatever look we got our costumes let's go back and get darn you guys have to squeeze back through the hole

in the cloak room to get back into the space between the wall and with three cloaks on it's so difficult for rent Jack somehow found the only one with bells on it oh Jack

always attracted to it's sewn right in it can't help it I really like it, actually. I don't usually, but... You are just in time to get back to the spying area to see Giram Blento approach the table of drinkers and begin a conversation.

And it's at that moment Dorn has curled back through because he hears the whispering voices. Giram has a kind of quietish conversation with the rock gnome sort of inviting him off to a different side table and the two of them sit down together. Is he selling us out right now? Dorn, is he selling us out right now? Did you trust this guy?

He says he's willing to help us. I think he's being honest. I think he's being, uh, he's someone that we can trust. How do you know he's being honest? Did you even roll inside on him? No, it's just a gut instinct I have after talking to the DM. Something, something said, something she said, made me think that he was distrust. Well, you can't metam my meta.

I'm the meta one. Doran, Doran, look. Listen, he, he seems like trustworthy. I know him. I've known him for a long time. Yeah, but Doran, look around at this bar. There's no patrons in there. I mean, maybe he took down a poster

because he thought he'd be able to lure you in with your relationship. I mean, a little bit of money. You would go a long way in a place like this. He's hurting right now. He's hurting for money because the taxes that Gutier has put on the town are just insane.

Well, how big is the bounty on our head? I don't know. I didn't really get that good of a look on the poster, but I told him that we would do whatever we could to help help out the city. I guess, Jack, Marie, back me up here. This guy is at least reason and the doubt he's going to help us, right? I mean, we got to have all our options open, right?

Like, we're, if we're surrounded right now, how the hell are we getting out? We've got to have an eye on the back door. Exactly. We do really have to keep our options over here. Jack's right because... No, I'm right. Maybe you know him. I was right.

Red's right. Maybe he, you know him from your past, but you've been. gone a long time and we need to have a plan to get out of here if things go pear-shaped. Oh, absolutely. At least you didn't tell him that all four of us were here, right?

Did you tell him all of us were here? Doran? Bob, I mean... Doran, I swear to God, I'm going to turn into a spider and leave so fast. Guys, I haven't... See, you've got an exit plan, that's good. I'm going to make like a spider and abandon you.

My exit plan is turn into a bug and leave. That's always just a exit plan. Exit. That's not even the exit plan. That's normally a plan. I feel like Mari wants to go retire and be a spider. So just find a nice corner somewhere. Guys, I am half spider right now.

I love that like mid-fight with Mari. Like one of her legs just goes she's like angry. She's like I will turn the other one to do a spider and I'm half out the door. Calling a bluff. One foot in the web over here. Let me out of here. You look over. She's

weaved a little hammock. So help me. Forearms behind you Look Doren We need to play this smart Whatever he offers you Okay Take it with a grain of sand

A salt Of whatever small things are Because you don't know how far He's willing to go To get whatever reward there might be I want to believe you Believe me we all do He's a good guy

And he just wants to help out But if things are really as bad they may seem in this city and in this bar. I also can't blame him for looking at the possibility of his friend out there being one of the guard. I want to believe he'll help us. Well, of course. That's what I know. Yes, it's what I just.

No, no, I'm not disagreeing. I'm just, you know, we need a win. Well, yeah. I mean. We need to get out of here. Well, a win would be not getting trapped. Let's put it that way. A win would be...

Yeah, let's define it real... A win would be not dying in this wall. Exactly. That would be a real win. And if that means getting out ahead of the trap, then the wind would be rolling in sight next time you speak to him. Or, you know, like, he's gone to talk to that gnome. Apparently that gnome, he owes the gnome money or he needs to do a delivery or I forget exactly what he said.

You guys look out at the bar and there's a dwarf in full guard regalia. who's come into the bar with another wanted poster and he's gesturing with the poster, Gyrim goes over and Giram takes the poster from the soldier and looks at it closely. Soldier's clearly going like, hey, have you seen these people?

Oh, no. Marry's a spider. So long, suckers! Attention, where'd it go? We've been trying to build it. Thank you to our wonderful patrons Adam Frye Afflicted Adina Aizu Yucai

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My son Aaron Blanto is such a Star Wars weed name and I can't unthink that It's true Blonto Star Wars weed