Dice Shame - 2-93 | 'Dice with Death'

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I have a bad idea. Do not die. Oh, cute. Do you know where Jack is? I'm the wind, baby. I think maybe we should retreat. Yes. Boo, I say.

No, thank you. What are you doing? They're everywhere. I kind of look like taxiderm. If you get a piece of him, I can reincarnate him again. I want to go on that list, too. A fucking time to leave me alone. God damn it.

Maybe we should call you trolls, blotter. Oh, shh. Come on. Jesus Christ. Red looks around. Who's that? You made that joke before. He's my deity.

Leave him out of this. I need another blasphemy. What's the god you like? Lothander. Lothander? Fucking Lathander. Fuck, Lathander. We're getting fucked on all sides.

Fuck that fucking fuck Lathander. What a piece of shit. That's better. Welcome back to Dyshame. Season 2, Episode 93, Dice with Death. MVP this week is, it says here, Marvin Tanner? Marv, okay. Thank you so much for joining us, Marvin.

You are this week's MVP. Congrats, Marvin? Deja vu. Anyway, should we do this? Yeah, let's play some D&D. Yeah! I had to drive last night into the city. it was a good

I'd say hour on the big highway here in south Ontario and the 401 Scarborough I was driving directly into the sun though The big highway

I couldn't fucking I don't know where this I was hoping that this might go somewhere and I might have a thing to say after this but that's about it like the sun was right in my eyes and we were shit so just didn't let you talk I have a thing I have a thing to say

hey Alex guess what So, you're not, it's going to blow your fucking mind. They go right on your eyes and they kind of cup your ears and they're, they're meant to block the sun or aid in its, it's shining. Get out. Yeah, no, for real. They're sun glasses.

They're not just glasses, though. They're just a block the sun. No, you're making that out. I have a pair. Can they be? Could they be a prescription? I imagine so. I mean, I fathom it.

Yeah, it could be a possible. And how does one look while wearing them? Oh, awful. Unfortunately, they're about the uncoolest thing ever. I won't be wearing them. Science will get there soon. I won't be using these sunglasses. If only there are a way to...

What? Yeah, I don't know. Alex just faded off. If only were there way to fall asleep halfway through my sentence. Not looking into the sun. I don't know. Drive backwards?

Well, I like that. Drive back. Do you think he'd be able to drive backwards any appreciable distance? Or would you crash for sure? Oh, I'd crush immediately. Yeah. I can drive backwards.

On the highway, it would be so dangerous. No, no, no. But just like, could you get Henry to school driving backwards if you had to take it? I could, but it would take time. Like, I would be very careful. Yeah. Are there other cars on the road or is it just? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, is it like normal traffic? It's an open course. Well, everyone else is driving backwards too. Oh, no. We're doomed. Nobody goes anywhere that day. Yeah. I hate drive backwards day.

My least favorite holiday. Backwards driving day is the worst. Who came up? What a dumb podcast came up with? Everybody drives backwards as a holiday. Insurance companies love this one day. The third year, the toll of this, nothing we can do.

It's drive backwards day. Thoughts and prayers. I was thinking about this, though. Beep, beep. It's 2024. Are we just, like, blown past flying cars? Is that not going to happen? Have we given up on that?

Like, every future movie was like flying cars. Did we just lose that? Flying cars are a terrible. Well, they're a terrible idea. Disagree, but I hope we don't do that. People need to learn how to drive cars first. Yeah, but is that just not, is that no longer the goal like that people, you know, it felt like, I'm more excited about big trains. Yeah, big trains, fast trains, fast trains, public transit, way of the future.

Yeah, high speed rail. That's where I'm at. Oh, right, I forgot. You two are in Toronto. I was like, what the fuck. Oh, right. This, this thought crossed my mind, actually. So they were talking about space elevators.

You know what space elevators? Yes. I'm guessing on name alone. Well, no, it took me a second because I had heard it before. And then I saw this video and they started talking about it. And I was like, well, an elevator from like one end of a space station to the other. It's like, no, no, no. They're talking about an elevator you get on here at ground level and you go up to the space station in space, right?

Oh, we've played satisfactory. Don't worry. Okay. So, but, you know, it's not so. absurd. That's where, that's where, like, the Jetsons are, are, are based. You know, I like, I'm so good. That's how you finish that sentence. They're like the very, very, very, very high altitude. They're like, before you hit space, you take the elevator up to the Jetsons and then, and then you go up from there and you're in space,

right? Like, it's not that absurd. Wait, the elevator or the Jetsons? Because I'm so cute Take the elevator up to Do you think the Jetsons are real? It's a good Is it just interesting The Jetsons? If you watch the Jetsons, right?

They're like in these loading cities like where is that? It's not like a different planet I'm saying it's in the stratosphere. It's like up in that. Yeah. You know that kind of makes sense though. I'm like no hold on.

But we're talking futuristic, flying cars Like it would make sense if we build space elevators And all of a sudden we got people going up and down in space Then all of the Jetsons are You have communities starting at the edge of space, right? Right. Like at the upper stratosphere. And that's where cities are starting to be built

And then you have flying cars. I just am not, there's one sci-fi look at that. The Jetsons also had flying cars just to put it out there. Of course, that's why he's talking about it. You're living at the edge of space because you've ruined the planet and there's nowhere else livable. is one like... The sky's arcadia.

That's dystopian. If you want to be pessimistic about it. Nobody would just live at space for no reason. Like, it's not an inevitable conclusion that... Jetsons was pretty like nuclear family, though. It was kind of like the ideal, like suburban. It wasn't overcrowded. It was meant to be utopian.

God, that's like saying that's what the Flintstone, like, talking about, like, prehistoric... You'll never believe what they did with their garbage in prehistoric times. I was just in the site. I mean. vacuums were off the hook you want a little baby mammoth trunk oh my god no problem it's a living i'm not the only one who's thought about this i know you're not i've been to high thoughts reddit for me rather than the flying car aspect i just want to be in a driverless car so that i can sleep while i get to work totally so boring but i just don't want to commute so little pod

being unconscious while you do it train maybe even yeah The governor, like, yes, train pill everyone. Yeah, but then I have to, no. Go to the train. Then I have to share it with people who. Your neighbors? Other than you? Nothing shitty ever happened to you guys on public transit, I guess.

Yeah, no, I mean, the other thing is that you come back home after work and you've got to get in your car to drive to the fucking store. Put it this way. Just live in the suburbs. If I get to dream utopianly, people aren't sheltering on public transit because they have other third places to go. I'm not talking about sheltering. I'm talking about being predatory, but we don't have to talk about that stuff. I'm not saying... Jetsons was utopian.

I'm not saying that public transit is a bad idea. I fucking love public transit. I would just rather have a car that I get to sleep in. Agreed. Cars that I get to sleep in would be a blast. Plus, you got that nice little sunshade. Sunglasses, please. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But are they called again? They're called eye blockers from the sun. It escapes me. No, it was like star blockers. Star blockers, yeah. Yeah, and they go around your... Sun face protector. Sun eye protectors.com.

Buy some star screens, slap on your face, and let's get you go. Cool. Speaking of sun blockers. Yeah. Here's a segue. Wait, magic spell? Oh. Uh-huh.

Is that a segue? Did I do it? Wait, what? You just said magic spell. Yeah, D and D. That's it. I approve. Thank you.

I'm here for it. I got it. Harlan's looking to all. four corners of his screen, like, where did the, where did the segue go? I missed the thread. It's perfect. You guys said like star screen. You'll get to hear it back when you edit this.

Don't worry. It'll perfectly line up. Sunblocker is a magic spell. It is now that we're playing Dungeons and Dragons together. Don't think too hard about it. Join me, Joe Guthrie. I promise I'm not thinking too hard about it, Rob. I'm still not getting it.

It's like the Rob-bag joke from the last episode, too. I was like, did I not get this? Rob-bag. No, no, there was no joke. No, just Rob-Rab bag. okay so it's just like that just checking yep good i thought maybe starry for him or something like there was a joke i mean i think i was setting up somebody who wasn't there it's like i passed a basketball to someone who wasn't standing there here's a great place for a joke if

anyone would like to put one here to get us and get someone in the audience would someone like to please pick up the other thread of the conversation for me i have dropped it i cast darkness How many sentences do I have to start Before someone will finish them for me God, magic spell Hello Hello Magic spell

To take us into D&D Oh my God All right, let's do it Let's try it from the top So If you had to eat a chocolate baby I'm just kidding Dejavu

Red's rovers seem to have gotten themselves in over their heads. Having found some of Clarion's dragon cultists, you started some trouble only to realize the basement of the inn is teeming with hordes of cobalds. This may be a bigger challenge than you'd previously thought. Doran and Mari and Red, you are both witness to the cobalds pouring out of the front door of this inn. Doran, one of the cobalds swings a scimitar at you, 12 to hit you. That's a miss. Second is another 12.

That's so a miss. Mari, a 17 to hit you. And the fourth one is not within range. So, Mari, you take five damage. And that's the cobalt's turns. Elister is going to make a save versus death. Do not die. Alistair Noggins' first death save.

Here we go. That is a fail. Fuck. God damn it. Shit. Red-handed Robin. It's your turn. Jesus Christ.

Red looks around. Who's that? You made that joke before. He's my deity. Leave him out of this. Your own personal relationship with him, I guess. I need another blast to me. I've never heard of the guy.

God, damn it. Must be some magician. What's the god you like? Lathander. Fucking Lathander. That's better. Fuck, Lathander. We're getting fucked on all sides.

Fuck that fucking fuck. Lathander, what a piece of shit. Oh, sorry, Jack. It's all good. He's cool with it. Who, that fucking piece. Anyway, focus up. Red looks around and starts thinking, I think, I think maybe we should retreat.

But before he does move, he does take a few shots at that troll directly beside Doran. Okay. Ooh, that's going to be a 14 hit. No, you miss. Damn it. Red shoots Y. and he'll pull again and fire. Exact same roll.

Fucking dice today. 14 again. Sorry. God damn it. And a panicked look washes over his face. And I think he just says, we need to go. We need to retreat.

And he won't move, but I do think he'll make that mindset clear. Doren, it's your turn. Doren is going to use his great weapons master feat here. Okay, so that's going to be a, 17 to hit? Yes. Doing 26 points of damage.

Hell yeah. Nice. Cut off another few toes and maybe a finger. Ork Splitter's bloodlust is just vibrating down the handle. Maybe we should call you Troll Splitter. Nice. You know what? I'm going to do the same thing.

I mean, he's made great weapons master feat. This is really great. It's a good feat. It's a great weapons master feet. I mean, if you're a weapons master, it's a pretty good feet. It's great. Especially when chopping troll. feet. Would a 15 have hit? I know a 14 misses. Are you asking me for a specific reason?

No. Okay. Damn it. Rock and roll. Do you move, Doran? Yeah, Doran looks around and here's Red's suggestion that we retreat. And using my mobile feed, I'm going to take advantage of that. And that way it doesn't provoke an opportunity to attack for this troll. Doran runs away from the building. in about 35 feet. Okay. You don't provoke from the trolls, but you do from the cobalds.

Mm, right. 14 to hit you does not hit, but a 22 does. It does. So you take five slashing damage. Okay. As the only party member inside of the inn is Elister,

and he's currently unconscious and bleeding out, what the cultists are up to is yet a mystery. Mari, it's your turn. What do you do? Mari, she can hear Reds starting to panic up on top of the inn, which is deeply unnerving. It's not something she's really heard him do yet. And Doran's starting to run. There's cobalt pouring out everywhere. And she begins to change the starry form is on her body.

The arrows form outward. They shift outwards. form wings around her, and she shifts into the dragon form as these wings first envelop her and then swing outwards. Very cool. It's incorporeal, but glittering. And she knows she's got a run. She can see this troll staring her down, and she can see the cobalds, and she begins to cast Misty Step. And as she does, she looks inside, looks in through the window, and she realizes is that Elister's still in there. And not only is he's still in there,

he's down and he's not moving. And this horrible feeling of dread creeps into her. She's already been here once. And before she can even change her plan, the mist envelops her, and she reappears 30 feet away closer to Doran. And as she does that, as she starts to float and begins to fly into the air,

the wings taking her up into the air, and she flies over to Doran and catches up with them. Wow, Murray, you're flying. Yeah, but Doran Ellister's still in there. No. He didn't make it out. I don't know what to do in these situations. I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do. We can't go back. Do you know where Jack is? You're interrupted by the pounding footsteps of two trolls, chasing you. Shit. I feel like I'm not doing too bad here. I think I'm just going to continue to kind of draw an attack.

Seeing that means you're going to get flattened. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, I take it back. I'm screwed. Mari, the troll that was directly beside you runs 30 feet up the road towards you, stoops down and grabs a rock. I knew he was going to do that.

I knew that the second I was flying, I was just going to be just a floaty target now. Yeah, you look really, fun to hit out of the sky. Boo. Boo, I say. That's a 21 to hit you. Can you give you,

how about this other guy? Why am I not getting the guy with the wonky eyeball? Yeah, you got, you got hot shot McTroll. I got the one who's dressed like a movie jock just kicking the shit out of me. Oh, fuck. Not, almost max damage,

21 bludgeoning damage. Oh, good Lord. This is, um, but only the one attack unfortunately for me meanwhile goop-eye the other troll runs up to doran a dirty 20 to bite you so you take 12 piercing damage okay and you have to make a constitution saving throw for me that is going to be a 23 okay you're fine so you take the bite okay i am using the maneuver brace what does that mean you've stepped into reach of my acts and just based on the fact that you are in reach, I'm using a reaction to attack you.

Cool. And we're doing actually max damage. Fuck yeah. 24 points of slashing damage against this. Hey. Fuck yeah. Well done. Just a reaction.

Doran, as you hack fingers off of this troll as you described it to the audience, a grizzly sight greets you. With these amputations, the fingers crawl back through the snow up. the troll's legs and reattach themselves. Jesus Christ. I'm cutting off their fingers and limbs and something. They're just growing back on. There's another point for not worrying about hurting them. Let's get the fuck out of here.

I mean, it really talks about what must have happened to this poor thing's eye. It can heal any wound and its eyes are still droopy. Like something's going on with him. Stroke. It attacks you twice then with its claws, Doran, with a 14 to hit you and a 19 to hit you. um both miss okay troll number three spies a little wizard who's just bounced out the back no thank the inn uh considering its target inside the inn has gone unconscious and is going to try to bite you does a 25 hit you uh yeah that's that's gonna be bad news for me yeah yeah seven piercing damage oh make a constitution saving throw. Yeah, those have been treating me so nice today. 17. You just save. Get your

teeth out of me. But now that it has a taste for half elf blood, it claws you for a unnatural 20. Yeah. 22 slashing damage. Couldn't have stopped it if I wanted to. And the second claw comes down. Yeah. 12 to hit you. That one will miss. All right. Jack, it's your turn. What the fuck? What the fuck am I going to do? Meta for a quick sec. I can't think of a way to get Ellister out of this.

Do you have any thoughts? I mean... Kill everybody and then go back for him. I misty step up to the roof. Okay. I walk over to you. Yeah. But I can't cast a second spell this turn to make us invisible.

Correct. So that's not going to work. Here's the part I keep running into. Even if I'm invisible and I get in there, he's large. I can't fucking get him out. Yeah, he's too big. He doesn't go for 10 rounds. He won't go back.

I checked. Even if he's down, he doesn't revert into his size until a full minute has passed. That's 10 rounds. The only thing I can think of is me getting in there and dumping a health potion down his gullet. Or we hope that he passes his saves and you cast invisibility on him. Because then he can survive in the invisible waste. You know what I mean? But I don't know.

So I have nine hit points left. Yeah. Retreat. Yeah. You just retreat. Don't worry about anything else. I'll think of something. The onus of trying to get Elister out will lie on me.

I mean, meaning to say anyone can say, Red, do this, but I can't think of a way to just do that. If you had the portable hole, you could dump him in there. No, I was thinking about that too. I don't think that would be, I'm not strong enough to put him in the portable hole. Yeah. Like, I wouldn't be able to even get him in there. He's fucking huge. I mean, your push drag whatever is, you know, it doesn't have to go far.

Sorry, I'm not going to do that with 30 cobalds. I understand. One round of invisibility. I follow you. I don't want to. If you get a piece of him, I can reincarnate him again. Put him in a different body.

I want to go on that list too. I'm about to... Jack... As Jack wrestles to get this trolls like ugly mouth full of sharp teeth and claws off of him just for a second, he manages to like wrestle

and push this staff into his chest enough to get like a beat of breathing room in which Jack disappeared. It almost looks like he melts into shadow into all of the crinkles and crackles along the snow. Only you can hear Jack's footprints as he like dashes the hell away and tries to hide behind a snow drift.

And that's my turn. It's the Cobold's turns. Hordes of Cobolds begin to pour out of the doors and windows of this end. Some of them follow Doran through the snow. Others make their way to where the troll stands quizzically looking for where Jack may have gone. And still others begin to climb up towards where Red sits on top of the roof. Red, there are four cobalds, it looks like, that begin scaling this roof and they pull themselves up onto the rooftop and face you with their movement.

Unfortunately, they do not have enough action to come at you right now, but you have been spotted. Elister's going to make another save against death. He gets a thousand and he's up. Yes. Back in the game. Drinking all those healing potions red stuck in his pocket. How much do we want Elster to be in the show?

I'd like him not to die. That would be so sad. So that's a two. We are at two fails and. Zero saves for Alistair of three. Marry's feeling. Lordy, Lordy. Some complicated feelings.

Red, it's your turn. Fuck. Fucking Lethander taken away. Red crouched on the rooftop as the cobalds are pouring in from all around him, watched Mari run over to Doran, his head whipping around, trying to understand what's going on around him. He saw the words on her lips as she shouted. down to Doran that Elister had fallen, and

Red is just taken aback for a moment. I have a bad idea. Do it. Red has a moment, and he's taken a back, and he sees the Colobald's approach, and then he sees

the top of the chimney. And in there, when Red was leaning on the bar, he saw Elister right next to the fireplace. And Red swallows hard and he runs across the rooftop and dives headfirst into the

chimney. Okay. And as he slides down and the heat continues to grow, his fire resistance begins to kick in from the ruin that he has. And I'm going to take the damage, whatever a fireplace would give me, as Red

slides down this chimney using his movement, his fur begins to singe, and he just grins and bear it, and As he comes down to the bottom in a puff of smoke, what comes out of the flames is a cobald, because Red has cast, using his masqueray tattoo, disguise self. That's amazing.

Brilliant, brilliant. Do you have inspiration? I do not. It's using the old noggin. You have inspiration now. Thank you. I'm going to need it, because that was a bonus action. Okay.

I now have my action. First, let's resolve the first. fire. Make a constitution saving throw for me, please. Cool. As the smoke billows around you. Natural 20. Hey, there we go. You wanted me to do this. The die wanted me to do this.

You're fine, yeah. The smoke billows around you and maybe you just close your little eyes and... Not this time, Alistair. Red says under his breath as he like pushes his feet against one wall and he's back against another wall and he's gathering all this soot. But, you know, his skin changes to that. cobald form as he reaches the bottom. As you land down in the fireplace, you take four points of fire damage. Take it. And then you roll out successfully in your cobald form. Okay, so that was some movement and your

bonus action? That's it. I have my action left. What am I looking at? In front of the fireplace, the enlarged form of Elister is prone. He's in his armor and blood is pooling on the floor around him. crudica and caramona are still in the inn they don't seem to have noticed you yet but there are a couple of cobalds clustered around the windows and the door looking like they are trying to get out and one cobald who is standing above ellister's corpse going through his pockets looks up at you as you fall down the chimney and red speaks to him in his best draconic which I do speak, and have to hope that Cobold speak as well. What are you doing? They're everywhere. There's one on the roof. He just threw me down here.

Go, go, you fool. Find his keepers. Do it after. Can I rope pursuaries? I should have said, and losers, weepers. I want you to roll deception, please. Happily. I'll use my inspiration.

All right. And I'm pulling out Chester, who has sat on my inspiration tracker. forever, rarely being used. All right, Chester is the first die I ever rolled in this game. Come on. This one's for Ellister's life. 21. Hey.

I rolled a 19. Oh, shit. Close. The Cobald holds up a coin purse and says, whatever I got, but I came here for anyway. Attaches it to his little belt loop, and then heads out the front door with the rest of them. Red, with his action,

bends down next to Ellister, and pours a greater healing potion down his gullet. Roll a sleight of hand, check. You want to be unnoticed by Caramona and Crudica, I presume, right? You're making me, God damn, do everything. This is a mission impossible shit. Fifteen.

You pour the potion down Alistair's lips, and as his eyelids flutter, Doren, it's your turn. Doren's going to run 70 feet away. Doren, the troll tries to bite you. Natural 20. Oh, fuck. God, damn it. You take 14 piercing damage, and you have to roll a Constitution saving throw. It's going to be a 10.

Oh, shit. Doren. Unfortunately, you are paralyzed. Oh, shh, come on. So you don't get to run 70 feet. You are paralyzed for one minute. You can repeat that saving throw at the end of each of your turns. Okay, okay.

Back in the inn, red as a cobald has just poured a healing potion betwixt Ellister's parted lips and as he comes to the two cultists who are standing nearby do not seem to notice you red you watch as they move to the window looking out to see the devastation that these trolls are reeking and as crudica bandages the wound in his shoulder this terrible gash that the war pick has rent he mutters to her fucking adventurers so yeah he's healing himself uh caramona's readying in action but they don't take any actions on their turn other than that marie you are flying in the air 20 feet above doran's paralyzed body as two trolls come up on him it's okay though I look really cool, paralyzed.

I'm sorry. Just let me be paralyzed in peace. Oh, boy. Doren is on the ground. Doren is, he looks so cool, but he is paralyzed. It is, everything in this fight is going badly. The two trolls are coming up on you. What do you do?

She looks at Doren and she drops like a stone and hits the snow just so that, Doran is 10 feet away from you. She goes over to Doran and casts polymorph. And with a flash of light, Doran is now turned into just this little flying squirrel. Oh. Excellent. Still paralyzed.

Still paralyzed. It's like paralyzed out with like the Patagium hanging out, like ready to glide. So I kind of look like taxidermy. Yeah. This is not bad taxidermy. Yeah. Okay. And she slips him into her coat pocket and just starts running.

She just starts running. And she makes it 30 feet and turns back, looks at the trolls. And the mist comes up from the ground below her. And she misty steps with flying squirrel Doran another 30 feet away. Excellent. Putting the trolls in the distance. Excellent move. Great turn.

There we go. You just saved Doran's life. Thank you very much. for saving my ass That was good This troll's gonna chase you down God damn it He's gonna fucking try

He dashes To get right up on you Mari but is unable to use an action And then the second one Samezies So both of the trolls chase you down the road

Mari one getting within melee range the other mere five feet away That's their move They can't attack their entire turn. So you're totally fine. Jack, you meanwhile are none the wiser around the back of the inn. Invisibly, Jack runs off to the west of the house trying to hide his tracks and duck behind a hill so even if he's, you know, his footprints don't lead directly to where he is

and get a sense of what's going on. He's looking up. He can't see Mari and Doran anymore as they run away up the hill and are covered by trolls. He hopes that he can think of something to do in the meantime. The cobalds continue to spill out of the inn and hunt for the people that have alluded them. Lots of them run off down the road in pursuit of the trolls and Mari and petrified flying squirrel Doran. The ones on the roof basically try to figure out whether any of them are brave enough to jump down the chimney. these dudes are going to roll survival check to try to find it if Jack has left any footprints in the snow

and with a minus one to their wisdom that lands them with a five so mostly they just kind of sniff around looking track me now I have the wind baby I track me now

I am speed red in the interior of the inn you observe the remainder the remaining cobalds exit. About fucking time. From a bird's eye view, it would almost appear as if the inn

was a hornet's nest that was kicked. So many cobalds are swarming around this building. Meanwhile, inside, Red, you observe as the final cobald's exit and Alistair's eyes open where he lies on the ground. He looks up at you with a shock expression on his face. And Red puts a finger up to his lips immediately, as if to say,

Sh. Red, with his finger up to his lip, pauses and points to the bracelet he's wearing that Elister made him, and then gives like a smile. Elster grogly looks to the side and spies the two cultists standing by the window and kind of gives like an unsure face. We need to find a way to get out of here. He nods at you gravely, swallows hard, and then vanishes. From thin air, Alistair becomes invisible.

Whoa. All that is left of him is the pool of blood on the floor. And Red, standing in the fire alone, is like, nice fucking time to leave me alone. God damn it. Red, how much healing did you roll for him for the potion? 12. Elister Invisible begins to move to the front door as quietly as he possibly can. Good stuff, Red. It's your turn.

Red, watching Elister disappear before his eyes and then begin walking hopefully to the front door. Like maybe a chair like skips a little bit. Just sort of stands up. Clears his little cobald throat and begins just walking casually out the front door. He even swipes a Beirstein off the table and takes a little sip. loving a cobald, he says in Draconic as he walks out the front door. So subtle, this man. Joining the other cobalds as they file out into snowy forest.

As you pass by the cultist Caramona, she kind of aims like a fake kick at you to kind of get you to like hurry up and join your friend. You should show them, boss. They're going to be dead within a minute, don't worry. And Crudica's like, wait a minute. No cobald's ever spoken with that accent of Draconic. Where are you from? Yeah, cool.

So you use your movement and leave the inn. Yeah. Red continues at the front door and just walks down the road past the other's cobalts, a fair distance away until the inn is more or less fading in the distance, and he drops his guise and returns to normal. Hey, Red. Hey, hey, Jack, where are you? I'm invisible.

Come. Come where? You're invisible. Sorry, you're going to wave me over? Well, I'm following you. Let's just get the fuck out of here. Okay, okay, okay, let's go. Come on this way. And Red and Jack head off into the woods.

Yeah, you head south and west. Meanwhile, Mari, you are carrying petrified squirrel Doran and leading a trail of trolls and cobalds heading north and east on the path that heads deeper and deeper into these winter woods. Thank you to our wonderful patrons Adam Fry, Afflicted Adina, Aizu Yukiukai, Allison Wrights, Merlin, Anne, Othologoff, Axel, Barry Jeanette,

Casey, Cetel Lee Wilson, Sherry Rose Anderson, Christopher, Colin Burckhart, Crowe. Daniel, Diffidy, Flynn, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, Haley, Hopper the Mox, J.D., Joy Robinson, Julie Holderman, Jury, K.R., K. M., Kade, Lazzania, Last Ruth on the left, Leader J, Liz, Lorelley Feldman, Manderpants, Merrick's Moon, Matilda Rushing, Melinda Curley, Moon, Oakland, Quill Bennett, Regan, Wren, Scotty, Shannon Waldner, S-ray 96, Tegan, T-Kettle, Tony Pepperoni, Trin, Waffle 427, Xander Morning Dove, Zach House, and Zephyrus. Thank you so much. Have the hands holding up. Shut up, Rob.

Rock and roll. Go fight a crocodile. no it's my new way to tell you to go fuck yourself you know what honestly that's pretty good because i know you die harsh i'm cheesy let's get back on it i'm on it all right