Dice Shame - 2 | 'The Break of Dawn'

Episode Date: October 31, 2019

Though down, the party is far from out as they try again to discover what exactly happened at Nightstone... Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. There’s nothing quite like getting together with your close friends on game night, getting the snacks out, and rolling some dice together. Right now we’re playing through Storm King’s Thunder, an adventure for D&D 5th edition. Like the games we play at home, we try not to take ourselves too seriously. The show is entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. As for the eponymous Dice Shame? When the rolls get cold—well, you’ll have to tune in to find out! Episodes are released every Thursday at 1:20 am.     Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's clearly not my time. Are you sure you're good at this? Are you bragging about how many pairs of boots you have? Look, we're growing together with friends. Tabaxi, you better shut up before I bring my axe across your chin. Shame! Shame on you! Am I going to wake up with a Sharpie mustache? There's a dick on your forehead.

Look, I get it. I'm not a very good wizard. I didn't study very hard. I didn't care. I'm sorry. I know. You're not my dad. There's no door over here. How the hell are we going to get in? Throw me through the window. What? Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is episode two, The Break of Dawn.

It's a good one. It's a great one. This week's most valuable post goes to Carly McConnell, fan friend, Patreon supporter for her amazing fan art. We love you, Carly. So good. Also, reminder that on November 2nd, we'll be streaming for 24 hours in support of Children's Miracle Network of Hospitals for the Extra Life Charity. Extra Life 2019.

So check out the Invictus Stream's YouTube or our website for information. It's www. Dot Dyshamepodcast.com. Should we get into it? Let's do it. Let's go. Did you ever think that you'd be sitting around a table with your best friends recording the second episode of your hit podcast called Dyshame?

Oh, no way, no. That's what we're doing right now, isn't it? Oh, my goodness. Wait, is this the podcast? That's what we're doing. Did I show up on time? You're here. Hello.

This is the thing. Welcome back to our hit podcast. Yay. Hit? Yeah. Do you remember where we last left our heroes? Yeah. Krioloth was bleeding out.

Yeah. And a pool of blood. Oh my cobblestones surrounded by goblins that we can't see. But I jumped down and helped and Jack and I revived and Doren was badass. But how many hit points did you have? Doren's only left with two hit points. Thank goodness Jack took out that war. Yeah.

Told the dead. To fuck right off. Two hip points. So we're sort of fucked. We're in bad, we're in bad shape. We're in bad shape, indeed. But the real question is, how do Warg's taste?

Ooh. We're going to find out. I mean, a warg jerky over goblin jerky, I guess. Over rabid shape. We could make so much warg jerky. We've got two horse-side wards. There's a lot of warg to go around. I'm excited.

Tabaxies make a lot of jerky is what I'm learning through this. No, Harlan makes a lot of jerky, and thus is character. Harlan eats a lot of jerky. Have you ever made jerky? Not yet. You need a smoker or something or a good dehydrator. Now you know what to give me for Christmas, Rob. My new possible best friend.

Don't you just leave it over a vent? Just any vent. I just need a vent. Why does the house smell like jerky? Oh, you know that lint trap that you put in your dryer? Yeah, yeah. Just get some meat in there. Guys, why?

Some jerky? One person's lintrap, another person's dehydrated. Dryer jerky is a word. So what are you guys going to do? Oh, the bell stopped ringing. Okay. Are we still in initiative order? No, we're out.

I think we need to get to a safe place and take a short rest. You're GTFOing? Yeah, I think I'm going to grab one corner of Krayloth shoulder and I grab the other. Yeah. The question is, what is a safe place? I think we've got to go back across the drawbridge. There was like a tree by the drawbridge, right? There is a tree.

There's a tree back there. I think where there's some gatehouses or something on this side of it? So there are two small gatehouses. houses. They're about 10 by 10 pillars. Those are awfully small. Yes. And they, you haven't seen inside, but

they flank either side of the drawbridge on the interior of the wall. I think distance makes the most sense. Tree is good. Yeah. Stay with me, buddy. Red like, is like throwing himself equally while dragging somehow as Kray Loth gets

across the boards. There you go. Don't die on me. As they're moving Kray Lath, I'm to ask kieran my my owl familiar to get up to that and perch and see if they can see what's going on at the end of that rope who is that down there what's going on so once once they sort of get there i'd love to like step into their eyes let their vision become mine for a minute and take a look down you step into your owl's brain this is a familiar site you've done this many times as he is your familiar.

Thank you. You see with alarming clarity being that he has this amazing owl vision, you look down this long rope down into the bell tower and you see its end hanging freely. There is no creature at the end of it, but it's moving slightly. to the effect that it had been recently touched. The owl does not see any creature down in the bottom. Is it the sort of the sort of belt tower Kieran could fly down into, or is there not enough? It's a pretty small aperture.

All right. That permits the rope through. So he's just perching on the edge of this whole looking down. He would be able to squeeze in and through if he had to, but he would have a hard time flying out of it, if that makes sense. No, I think that's fine. I'm going to as, as Kieran now, to see with my own eyes, there were, there were two sets of goblins who were kicking around, quote unquote, pumpkins last time.

And I didn't, I don't, I'm not sure that, that I believe that was, you know, an owl's interpretation. I'd love to get, to get Jack's interpretation of what, what they are. So maybe to do a quick circle around the whole small. Do you have to, like, meditate to see through this? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm definitely, like, leaning against a wall somewhere just like, I, don't,

Warren has two hit points. He's unconscious and Red's left to like watch the place. You were, you were carrying him across. You guys got this. I'm just going to be a minute. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. It's totally fine. I think Red would actually just hide in that tree, by the way. You have to use your action. Yeah. So I think essentially it just robs you of your own sight and all of your senses. Yeah. And I mean, we're talking about, you know, six, 12, 18 seconds. That's not, that's not so long that I feel uncomfortable. You're not drawing an arcane circle in the ground or anything. Yeah, in the middle of the street. And like lighting incense or anything.

I mean, when the moment calls for it. But no, right now, it's just like closing your eyes, letting my spirit go and connect with Kieran's and maybe doing a circle around to really get a sense of this space. He flies through the night air and casts his eyes down on the ground where he sees some fields. the people of Nightstone have been cultivating the ground around their dwellings. There are a couple of farmhouses. And he sees that within one of these fields, there are two goblins that have pumpkins on their heads. Oh.

And they are bumping around the field and sort of laughing. The goblins are adorable! Yeah, okay. That's the southeast. Okay. The southeast of the main... Of the main square where you had initially interacted with the war. Brilliant. Gotcha.

And then there are two other goblins in the northeastern quadrant of this village. Mm-hmm. They do not have pumpkins. And they've actually started moving. moving sort of around the side of their building, it looks like they are searching. Okay. And so I'm, as soon as I see them searching, I'm going to, you know, instruct Kieran to just keep an eye on them, but don't, you know, be a bird, just hang out somewhere, eat a mouse. Do whatever. Do your thing. Go eat a mouse, Kieran.

Go eat a mouse. And I'm going to go catch up with, with hours. It just sounds like, oh yeah, that's Kieran's voice. I love you, Kieran. And then I will rush back to meet up with the other folks now that I've really got to... How well are you hiding? I am up the tree and my bow is pointed at the drawbridge because I don't need a short rest. I am full HP. I have all my stuff. So I'm going to be basically guarding, readying an action to anyone who walks through those gates while these two...

So Doren and Kralath are at the base of this tree. Krayloth, you are unconscious. I am. Doran, you are what? I'm patching my wounds, as I'm familiar with doing, poking bits of cotton into where the teeth holes are in my arm. How does Doran feel? He's like an old soldier, but like he got his shit kicked.

I love the idea that you're like unwinding bits of leather and armor from your wounds, and you can see these new injuries that are late. over all this old scarring on your arms. And it's incredible for maybe the tabaxi to watch me be unfazed as I, you know, I've got a needle and thread that I close up my own wounds with. How is Doran feeling about like Kralath running in and then getting like devoured?

And Doran taking the more tactical approach. Yeah. And I suppose when Kralath comes back to consciousness, there will be a chat and say like, you know, because that's not really how my mind works. I'm a methodical soldier. He's going to be angry with you. Oh, shit. Maybe they're two styles of what their units would do.

They like made assumptions about what those units, what our soldiers would do are these two different things. And neither of you did the thing the other expected and now it went all to shit. Doran, did you spend a few minutes before patching your own wounds to like hide your companion's body? or is he just sprawled on the dirt in full view? No, we would have dragged him to the back of the show. Because Dorne and I were both. So you guys are trying to be stealthy. Right.

We would have propped him up against a tree, I'd imagine. Hey, old buddy, it's okay. Like open his eyelids, which refused to open. Very comfortable position. There's a lot of physical comedy happening here in the room. It's the only way. It's the best podcast. Am I going to wake up with a Sharpie mustache?

There's a dick on. your forehead. I thought you looked better with a little penis. And then again, you know, sure enough, not only, not only did I completely finishing, patching my own wounds and, and fixing my own armor, pulling the pieces of steel chain link back together, I then moved to the human next to me. And I start, you know, patching him up, wiping up the blood off his neck and his face. I picture you, like, fixing armor like you're just like, you know, combing your hair. Yeah. You know, you're just like, you You know, doing a casual chain and things, right? Yeah, exactly.

I've got the Smith's tools with me. Yeah. You hear, like, I got a little rock in front of me, and I'm like, rebending the chain link. Very stealthily bending chain links. Oh, that's sick. Yeah, you, like, pull your chain mill off and you're, like, messing with it. And I'm just watching the drawbridge.

I'm just going to be, like, skedding it. Jack, roll a perception check, please. I would love to. As you come back into your own body. 14. You hear a slight scuffling coming from within the temple. So, I mean, if I'm on my way back there, I can see, maybe just make eye contact with red and just sort of like give a nod and like, I'll be right there and maybe stealth over to the temple myself. If you nod at me, I'd probably shake my head.

I'd probably like, do it. So I was imagining Jack as coming almost to the point where you would be approaching the drawbridge, not quite stepping onto the drawbridge yet, but then a sound from the temple takes your attention. And so you can see red in the tree just barely. He's pretty well camouflaged. But in order to approach the temple, you would need to lose sight of him. Oh, no, there's definitely, yeah, there's definitely that moment of like, I'm coming across the drawbridge is going to be fine. I know there's, like, enemies around me.

It's dangerous territory. And then I hear a sound. It could be my friends who are, like, live here. I got to, I just got to know. And so, like, one minute, I will be right, red. I just got to go look. I'll be right there. I think the minute he ducks out of my sight, I, like, look down at Doran and Kralath and, like,

look. back up and I jump from the tree and I run after him. You jump from the tree? Yeah. Well, like, how high is the tree? And Doran's not... I get down from the tree.

You take one D's six falling down. Yeah, exactly. Doran is, Doran is not unaware. You know, I see Jack. I see you in the tree and I see the exchange and you and I connect eyes red. You know what I'm saying. And I see you and I and I just nod.

Yeah. You know, and I continue to patch up. Yeah. Because I mean, like, ultimately, you guys need the rest. I don't, Jack is a glass cannon, probably. I mean, I don't have all the hit points in the world. No. Would you like to stealthily approach the, I would love to stealthly approach. Yeah, I'm, I'm gonna stealth over there. I got a 18 plus four. Nice. That's 22. Yeah. You pad forwards quickly in your leather boots, I want to say. Yeah, I mean, they're, they're lovely quality. No,

they're lovely quality leather boots. Stilettos? They're travelers' boots I've got several pairs of boots At home I did say clogs I did say clogs Yeah no They're as comfortable

As you can get In my price point Are you bragging about How many pairs of boots You have? Listen I don't even know Everybody doesn't He's a high fashion help

Does everybody have a lot of boots That's just what happened I mean Tobaxi don't even wear shoes So you stealthily approach the temple And you You put your back up against the wall

There's a little I want to say like a little nugget of shadow. Shadow nugget. I love it. You hide in whatever you can find. If it's a shadow nugget, that's where you put your butt and you... That's right.

Is there any sweet and sour sauce in the shadow nugget? It's dark sauce one sauce. And moments before Red strides into view from where he's approaching you on the drawbridge, two goblin heads poke out from the door of this temple. both of them look either way, cast around, looking at the square, and then retreat back into the building. Do I expect these were the two that I saw as Kieran a minute ago, or are these two more? No, you have not seen these before.

Right. So we're up to six goblins. When they turn back in, I'd love to just peek my head around and see what else was going on inside the temple before I... Okay. I'm going to carry over that stealth check for you just briefly. Just for a moment, you see the backs of the two retreating goblins move deeper into this temple. Roll a religion check for me. 21. From some of the iconography that your eyes breeze over as you take just this instant of a glance, you would know this to be a temple of Maliki.

There's some unicorns prancing around, some carvings. the the temple has been pretty clearly looted and they these goblins have cimitars so has it been looted as and it's just like turned over or are there things that I know should be here that are missing both all right I'm gonna I'm pushing my luck I'm soft we're troubled I'm gonna I'm gonna put my head back around yeah no we're out and as you look back you see red coming around the corner I yeah I'm like crouched at the corner of the drive brought drop it just

watching him. I wouldn't enter. Like waving, like, go back. I'm coming. And I'm like, not until you come back with me. And I wait until he meets me and we walk back together. Okay. I have to watch your back, friend.

I appreciate it. There's six of them in there. Two with scimitars in the temple. It's been routed. Two with pumpkins on their heads crashing into each other. And two more walking around looking for something. I hope it's not their pet wargs. Well, we just have to be careful, you know?

I get the curiosity. Believe me, it's. skilled me a few times, but we need at least stay in eyesight. No, I just, I got friends here. I needed to know. Hey, I have friends here too and I pat your bum a little bit. Just So, you guys return

back to your extremely safe tree. You know what? It's big. And you saw how good I shot a tree in the last episode. It has no chance against me. What do you do? What are you planning?

As you return, you see Doran is is now gut, he's lying down and he's resting, like a full of rest. Eyes open, keeping an eye. I think we'll do an hour long short rest. I think I'm going to go back up the tree and watch. Is there anything you can do to aid us for protection? Look, I get it.

I'm not a very good wizard. I didn't study very hard. I didn't care. I'm sorry, I know you're not my dad. I don't want to hear it one more time. I'm merely asking, I just know what you can do my friend. I mean, magic is what I can do. I'm just going to look at my spellbook and see.

if there's anything in there, but I don't know. I'm just gonna watch the drawbridge and I'm gonna ready an action to, if anything should pop in. You guys spend a fairly uneventful hour. If you wait one D4 hours, an unconscious character can regain one hit point.

So, Justin, why don't you go ahead and roll a D4 for Kralath and we'll see. I have done this and I rolled a one. Amazing. Ah, nice. So we'll count that as your short rest. So, I mean, Doran, you rolled your hit dice. You're back at full.

I'm back at full. Nine plus my three. You have one hit point. My eyes open. And I jump down and I throw my arms around you. Great, Lotho, buddy. Red, take it easy, buddy. You nearly scared me.

Okay, all right, all right. I thought I'd have to live without that jovial laugh. You can stop, squeeze it to me, give it to me. I rub your little belly. Get off me. Come on, man. And then as soon as, as Reb. Gets off, climbs off of Kraloth.

Doren steps up. Kraloth. Next time we go into battle. And I realize that you're injured and you're not really paying attention to me full right now. But listen to me. Next time we go into battle, we must, must pay better attention and come up with a better plan of action.

That was far too. uh as far too uh reckless reckless thank you no problem i would never have let my soldiers go into battle like that but it happened and i'm glad you're safe and that's all i'm going to say about it right now well you got a point doran uh i'll be completely honest i thought it was a goner but uh yeah it's been a long time since I've been in battle, so I guess I got to brush off some of that rust, right? I've seen too many of my fellow soldiers fall. To see more would just pain me too much. He's not going to die.

Let's just stop that talk right here. I'll make sure of that. It's clearly not my time. Bingo bingo friend? Say that again. Bingo bingo. Oh. It's just a tabasie saying, you know.

There you go. The Baxi came up with that. Oh, my buddy. Man, take a look at this. Hey, wait a second. I could have sworn the wargs bit right through my armor in this one spot. Oh. Well, I was able to mend some of your armor.

I am, after all, one of the best-known blacksmiths and all of Farron. I did help, just so you know. I've handed them the plows. No big deal. He's not lying. I'm sure you did. Well, there's some things you weren't able to mend, though talented you are. And I'm going to cast cure wounds on myself.

Yeah, boy. Beautiful. Do you only, you have hit taste, though, don't you? Or do you want to say, you would have to spend a whole other hour. Never mind. No. I won't be able to do that again, but I need some help here. I'm going to roll one D.

I got an eight. Nice. Plus five. That is 13. Hey, so I'm back to full health. All right. Well, what are we going to do next? We're going back in there. I'm feeling great. Going back in there. Jack here spotted some interesting stuff. Let me do another quick flyby, see what's over there, and we can sort of make our plan of attack with the best information we've got.

I'm going to sit down, sort of get sort of in a meditative position. He does this when he's looking through, is how you're out of it, but it's really cool. It's gotten quite dark since you've been resting. The darkness is troubling, Krayal. lot a little bit. His human eyes are not not super great in the darkness but the owl is not encumbered this way Kieran flies around the perimeter scattered throughout this

settlement there are maybe 20 large boulders that have pierced through the roofs of buildings that have cracked through cobblestone and broken fields and fences. Kieran also sees the goblins from earlier.

The two that had entered the courtyard to investigate the noise that you were making have retreated back this like a little chicken enclosure. And they are plucking a dead chicken right now.

Fucking love goblins. You fucking love chicken. Me too. That's all that Kieran reports to you. Okay. I'm going to wake up from Kieran's eyes and in front of me. And now he gets to tell us what he saw. Well, now, actually, I'm going to show you.

I'm going to create a minor illusion of a map. I'm a photographer. I make maps for days. I'm going to make out a map exactly like the one we're looking at with this. That is so cool. Inspiration. You just got inspiration. Well done.

And on this map, I'm going to show like here's how it was last time we looked. It looks like these have moved into the chicken coop. There were two in the temple. I'm going to tell you about the temple of Maliki. and the missing stuff that's been pillaged from there. Just like lay out exactly what I saw sort of on a top-down-down sort of view. You're so smart. You're the brains of the group.

He does have the highest intelligence. What did you give him for inspiration? Oh, I gave him a starburst. Why a starburst? Individually wrapped candies. And when you get inspiration in fifth edition, it means that you can spend that inspiration point or candy before you make any D-20 rule in order to roll 2D20s and take the higher.

Amazing. When do you get to eat it? After you spend it. Was that Doran? Tempting. Doran wants the candy. Hired of goblins. Doran wants starburst.

I mean, you only saw a few goblins north of town, right? I mean, we've seen six so far, yeah. I just mean to say, what if we enter in, swing north and start moving them south a little bit? Well, we got to clear them out. That's what I mean. start with the small bands first. That makes the most sense. Work our way up to the big ones.

That would make the most sense, and especially if we're working in a team effort. Does anybody speak Goblin? Could we talk to them? I speak Goblin. Krayloff does. I do. I mean...

For what reason would you have to speak Goblin? It was on a list of available... Oh, no. When I first arrived in Feroon, I did not wind up on the shores of some civilized city, Like Neverwinter, I did not show up in a nice village or anything of the like. No, I showed up in the middle of nowhere.

First people I actually encountered were a band of goblins and they were not terribly nice to me. They managed to, well, tie me up and defeat me in battle, though I was too disoriented to do much about it. And they kept me prisoner for several months. Wow. It wasn't long before I started picking up on certain gestures, certain verbal cues, and then eventually I started to grasp a certain understanding of what different words and sounds meant. Knowing thine enemy is a great, great practice. And for that, I'll give you that pass. I say we do swing north.

we go up and around the back of the temple to the north side of the inn where we can flank these. So maybe this is the planet. Maybe Kralas and I go in the front door and try and talk to them while the two of you slip around the back and then they're between us.

What sort of cue should we use if all of a sudden things go south? Well, Red and I have a signal that we've used several times that has come to our aid. Let's use that. Quite a bit. Good idea.

All right, we'll get in position. You give me that signal when you're ready. And, yeah, Doran and I will start heading down the road and try to stealth in some place. Okay. So, Doran and Red are stelting ahead. Keep an eye out for whatever that signal might be. So you guys are going on the front door and we're going to go in. I give Red this, like, questionable look.

Don't you worry, Doran. Everything's going to be o'-lift. Don't touch me. Okay. You ready? I'll follow your lead. Tell me what happens. So I'll light my lantern.

I don't usually need it, but it is nice to have. When you need light and your hands, I got light for you. Okay. All right. Now, I don't know if I'm as aware of the situation as you are and you have people in the town. I'm happy to work as just your translator through this. You feed me messages to give and I will translate. I mean, you're where it's, it's a potentially hostile force.

You've got to trust your gut for talking to them for a minute. If they get conversational, we can discuss what we want to say. But it may just be that we're going to end up with two angry goblins with swords coming at us, and we'll deal with that. As Doran and I approach, is there any position that we can get to from the side of the buildings and like open craters, any of these boulders that are riddleding the town? Any of them hit the roof? Not along the west side of the building, no. And in order to get around the back, you're going to have to scale a fence into a spooky graveyard. Doran and I will do it.

Come on, Doran, it's all right. The biggest issue Doran has with this is not the spookiness of the graveyard, but rather the height of the fence. And Red is like, so adapted climbing. He just climbs right over and he sees Doran like pause and he thinks it's because he's scared. That listen, Doran, that's all right. There's nothing to be afraid of. Look, they're just graveyards.

What's the fence made of? It's iron. It's about four feet high. And he like gets in close. I was spooked a lot when I was a little boy. too. Shut up, will you? Shut up.

I just want to. And he, and Doran does grab the fence and he does scale over and very awkwardly with no finesse at all flops on the other side landing on his ass. Good job. You got over your fear. And I like, he quickly like helps you up. This is the best. Look, look, we're growing together with friends. Tabaxi, you better shut up before I bring my axe across your chin.

All right. Red and. Fence is a spooky too. Red and Doran. make their way through the graveyard around to the back of the building and it takes them just a few moments of of traversing this graveyard through the rows of tombstones through the gravel paths to realize that there is no rear entrance to the temple and crayloth and Jack, come around the front

of this temple, the successful arm of the Pinser movement, the two doors to the temple that face south are wide open and just darkness looks at you from within this building. I'm

unwrapping the piece of twine that I had wrapped around the tambourine as I walk and I look into the darkness and say to Jack, I can't see a damn thing. I'll open the lantern up now and just sort of shine it, shine it around for you. Perfect.

How close are you getting to the temple? I think we must be right at the door. Okay. Yeah. I want to shine the temple inside, but not so much so that people in the rest of the place might see us. And as he's shining the light in, I'm going to say, Akibati.

which means in goblin we would like to bargain. Can we speak with your leader? You hear a sound coming from within the temple, a scampering, a scuttling, and then... Briega! Briegum! The yelping of goblins, as they run toward you, they have their scimitars drawn, and one of them in goblin through gridded teeth says,

Our leader's not here, but we'll take your life. And I'm going to use thaumaturgy. Ooh, okay. I'm going to cast thomiturgy behind them, which was a trick I used when I was in their prisons. And I'm going to using a goblin voice from behind them have a voice, It's a deep, goblin-esque voice that says, you do not know that. Okay.

That's good. That's good. Really impressive. Roll an intimidation check. Oh, that's with a six. Roll for initiative. We don't roll yet, right? Oh, yeah, you do.

Us too? Yeah. Oh. So we'll start with red. What did you get? 17. Doren? Six.

Jack. Ten. And Kralath. Five. Nice. In order. The two goblins hastily look behind themselves. Do not see anyone behind them in the darkness, for they have dark vision and are not fooled by your thomiturgy.

Oh, yeah. In response, Kralov, they both fire their short bows at you. Oh, no. And as soon as I can tell, now, now this is out of initiative order, but I had my tambourine ready. Yes, you did. And as soon as I can tell that they are shooting, I set the signal and I begin to shake the tambourine.

As soon as you see their little goblinoid hands, pull up their bows and pull the drawstrings. Consider it a reaction. And the reflection from their pupils. You know what? I'm cool with that. Nasty little green reflection. I just rolled bullshit for the first time on this podcast. Amazing.

Yes. Bullshit. Any ones? No, I rolled a four and a five. So not quite shame, but you can. guys, you're on thin ice. She's talking to the die. You tell them.

Okay, so both of the arrows fly wide into the night through the temple doors and beyond into the courtyard. Amazing. Red, what do you do? So, Doren and I are north of the thing. Yeah, you're in the graveyard north of the temple. Are there any windows on this side of the building? Yeah, there are two windows.

In fact, you see the glimmering light from the bull's-eye lantern through the windows. You hear the tambourine. What happens? I looked down to Doran and I turn to red and I say, There's no door over here. How the hell are we going to get in? Throw me through the window.

What? Throw me through the window without even waiting. Oh, right? And I toss him. What am I rolling strength? I think it just happens. I mean, how, okay. How much do you weigh, Doran?

He's a dwarf. He's a dwarf, but dwarves are. 150 pounds. Okay, so that's, that's hefty. 67 kilograms. I did that. I love that. It's with a conversion.

Bless your heart. I'm also 137 centimeters. That's... Oh, four foot six. If I'd known we were gaming an SI. Make a strength check for me, please. Can I have any sort of like advantage if he's help? If you, like, wants it?

If he, like, jumps with me. If I'm like, jump while I throw you? Yeah. Yeah, you know what? Roll with advantage because he's making himself into an amenable cannonball form. That's right. And it's his suggestion. 19 minus one is 18.

Amazing. That's pretty good. He goes smashing through the stained glass window as like, what do the goblins do when they see this like dwarf barrel through the window behind them? There's like a smash of stained glass that comes flying through. This beautiful stained glass window that depicts, what does it depict? Fuck it. It's gone. Depics, it depicts dwarf enrage now.

it used to depict images of birth the dawning sun trees and unicorns now it's just... Birth? Is it like a woman with her legs spread and he comes right through the center? Yes! And there's a dwarf on the floor. In character here,

had this been the Temple of Moradin, I would not have been able to do this. You couldn't. I wouldn't have been able to sacrifice. So I'm going to do that for my action. And then I have a move, right? Yes, you do. Can I, like, jump in after them?

Of course you can. Why not? So, like, this dwarf comes smashing through the stained glass window, and then I'm going to hop in after you. Doran, because you were thrown and not, you know, hopping in of your own volition, I'd love for you to make an acrobatics check just to see if you land on your feet. I will do that. And so, oh, no, a piece of shit.

What is it? Oh, natural one. Oh, yikes. He just threw it. He threw it against the wall. Oh, God. He did, goodbye, Dice. Bye, dice.

So it, uh... Shame. Shame on you. Shame. I'm going to, I guess, take a tumble. You land prone on the floor. And I kind of slide a little bit. That's amazing.

And then Red deftly, nimbly leaps in after you. Don, what are you doing lying down? Jack, what do you do? Jack pulls forth his magic orb and spins it in his hand and from it three beams of light shoot out and magic missiles strike these goblins two on one and six okay let's see five damage to one and five damage to the other wow nicely done okay they're looking a lot worse for the wear Kralath I take it the conversation didn't go well I don't think so I say as I pull up my shield

uh Doran it's your turn you can stand up for half of your move Am I right on top of these goblins? Basically, but you're lying down in front of them. Right, so I, yeah, stand up and move into, well, how far now am I from these goblums? I should just be within five feet. It looks like you're directly at the one guy's feet. So, yeah, I stand up and float attack. Do it.

Using one-handed battle axe. Do it coward. And a four to hit? Nope, that's not going to do it. Nine. That still doesn't hit. Okay. Yeah, I'm sorry.

So you pick yourself up off of the floor and dizzily swing your axe at the goblin. Very clumsily. Very clumsily. Like picking pieces of glass out of your clothes. And I'm grumbling to myself. I've been out of battle for too long for this. Kralath, what do you do? You see your friends come smashing through the window.

Magic missiles flying. Oh, yeah. I'm going to run in there invigorated by battle again. And I mean, I don't even hear Doran's words about, like, being tactical. I just, I just run forward. And I pull out my mace and I smash one of the goblins in the face, potentially. Mace face. Natural 20.

Oh, my God, yeah. Hot damn. So. Pooh, pooh. Maste. Maste. Maste. You roll all of your damage dice two times.

All right. So that's six plus two. So that's eight points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. You kill it by a lot. Okay. So you turn the goblin's head into this shriveled pulpy mass of flesh and bone and gray matter. And just as you do this, blood comes splashing across my face and you look and all you

see is this big grin on Doran's face and I say that's what I'm talking about I just want to be involved yeah there's brain matter and chunks everywhere Jack is standing there he's ready to

he's ready to see the next thing he's happy that you're all in there tangling with these goblins there's blood sprang there's people you're so apart from this yeah like he's no part of Jack wants to be anywhere near any of that. So the goblin that remains is probably going to try to stab at Doren because he was the one who just recently tried to hit him with an axe.

And missed. And missed. So he's going to try to use his scimitar and bring that to bear with a 19 to hit. It does hit. And that's seven slashing damage. Holy moly. Then as a bonus action, the goblin disengages. He jumps out the window and runs into the graveyard.

Red, what do you do? I kill him. Okay, so you can definitely, definitely aim through the broken window. You know what? Can I try, I mean, can I try to pin him to the ground if I do like a targeted shot at a reduce? I don't know. I know that Jack wants to question.

That's not something that, okay, so anytime you bring a monster or an enemy to zero hit points, you can opt in that moment to be dealing non-lethal damage. So you would just be knocking the character. I'm just going to roll. See if I can hit them. A natural one. Oh, no. That's my second bitch.

Are you sure you're good at this? Now, this is, but this is the second die. I mean, is it, is it time to get rid of that one? I don't care. Oops, I missed the jar. The dice. That's a real failure. They don't stop the rim of the jar.

Oh, my goodness. rolled onto the floor. You know what? I'm going to do this. I'm going to put this one in the dice shame. That might be fate. But I'm going to bring back the first. You're bringing back the first dice.

You're going to regret this. Why would you make this call? Because you know what? Sometimes you've got to take another chance. And he deserves another. Chester, I still remember the first time I rolled him. We didn't even really. It was perception anyway, right?

This was damage. I think the first time was a perception. I'm going to bring him back. Jack, you see as Red pulls his drawstring back, and then the arrow just hits the side of the building and ricochets back into the room. I meant to do that? Yeah, I'm going to step sort of, I'm at the door. I'm going to step around just so I can see this goblin. And then, you know, from those two still sort of glowing wounds that it's got from my magic missiles, hold this orb out and try and pull the rest of its life into it.

I'm going to toll the dead from this goblin. It can make me a will save, please. Wisdom. Wisdom save, that's the word. 18. That'll do it. It gets away. Doran, what do you do?

Well, I'll chase after it for, what the hell? And in fact, in true soldier fashion, I call to my others here, give chase. And I chase. What the hell does that be there? It means that. Who's chase? And what are we giving him? Can you make it all the way to the goblin with 25 feet?

I think you can make it to them. Can I attack now? Yes. That's a move and an attack. That's right. We miss it. A 17. You hit.

And doing seven damage. Would you like that to be lethal or non-lethal damage? Non-lethal. So you hit him with the flat of your axe and knock him against a gravestone and his head hits the gravestone with a loud clonk and stars and bluebirds come out as he slides down to the grave and and you have you've got a goblin captive all right thanks for listening and thanks to our patrons don't forget to rate review and subscribe five stars join us next week for episode

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