Dice Shame - 24 | 'Solid as a Rock'

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

The party continues on their way despite a cloud hanging over their heads... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So your action is to pick up the halfling and throw them into the ditch. So everyone is prone, but Krilov. If you want to kill the serpent, you have to cut off the head. How, though? That thing's pretty. Can I have it? Well, mushrooms are a good protein. Oh, you silly little goose. We're going to run into situations like this again, and it's heartbreaking.

I don't think you understand how much this means to me. No! Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame. It's part of my set, but I can't be with you anymore. Welcome back to Dice Shame, episode 24, solid as a rock. MVP this week is Tony Saratia, a new member of the Dice Shame Facebook group. Welcome, Tony. While you're enjoying all the shameful dice you should, check out our friends, a group of truly terrible warriors.

The terrible warriors are celebrating the launch of their seventh, season, and there's never been a better time to become a terrible warrior. With a new focus on indie RPGs, they're starting the season off with a campaign of the spire, a game with revolutionary drowel resisting against the high elves that occupy their tower city of spire. GM Justin leads a rotating cast of spies, saboteurs, revolutionaries, and resistors, who also happen to be good friends of ours. Check out the all-new terrible warriors today. No kidding, they're amazing. Okay, enough chat. Let's play some D&D. Let's do it. It's episode 24.

Hello. Oh, yeah. Hi, gentlemen. Happy 24, Canada. There you are. I don't know. Two four on two four? 224 beers?

We are drinking some beverages, actually. Tis. Justin just took a sip of an IPA. Called Mindflay from Chronicle Brewing. Oh, Chronicle. I'm drinking in ails from the crypt from them. What's Chronicle Brewing? Friends of the show, a brewery out in Bowmanville, which is near us.

Ontario, Canada. Yes, Ontario, Canada. Yeah, not. Fuel box. Not Bowmanville, Iowa. No, definitely not. I wonder if everyone knows that we're Canadian just from our... Yes.

I've had a people comment and be like, I knew you were Canadian from the first... I mean, Alex sounds very Canadian to me, but I don't... Why, what do you mean? What? How is that more Canadian? That was like... It reminds me of that... Our German friend Alex, who I always remember this,

I said, what do Canadian sound like to you? We know what Germans people sound like to us. He's like, I don't know. You sound like a Canadian. Now listen here, eh? We don't sound Canadian. And if you take that Canuck attitude around here, we're going to kick you out of here.

Dr. Moose Jostas, Saskatchewan. Hey, that's where I grew up. I know. All right. Speaking of Chronicles, we've got a story to tell. Chronicles of bullshit. Chronicles of bullshit. No, it's the Chronicles.

Well, you know, they're being written currently by our resident Bard, the halfling, Oren, who is busy plucking the strings of his mandolin. Chronicles, Chronicles, the Chronicles. You think you can come up with another word for this song? Maybe I'll use stories. No. Chronicles has a much better ring. Are you making fun of me?

I feel like you're making fun of me. Chronicles rhymes with barnacles. Oh, I took a ship over here with barnacles on the bottom. So we left the excavation site on Marpanath, the 8. With a very dark cloud hanging above the party. This is the most emotional the party has been yet. Yeah. Did you stay in Amphel?

You would have arrived there when you were heading back out on the road, maybe in the late afternoon. I think if we left in the morning, we would probably just head straight to the road. We'd pass through. Well, maybe stop at a Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons. I mean, I need my timmy's if we're going north. Fucking 50 kilometers. I mean, with the tiny hut sleeping outside,

even if it's cold or stormy or windy or whatever, not the worst thing. So as long as we can keep moving forward. True say. Yeah, I think we'd head north towards Cripgarten Forest. It is quite the journey. It's about five days total. So you're due to hit Cript Garden on the 13th of,

Marpanoff. On the way, two important and notable things happen. You travel through and fail on your way, sleep out on the road, and then another day of travel passes uneventfully. However, on the 10th of Marpinoff, you are traveling in the late morning on the long road you've already passed the westwood left it in your dust and you know that you'll be coming upon a town by the name of red larch by the evening but you come upon two shepherds they're running along a worn footpath toward the road and they're guiding a large flock of sheep they seem to be exhausted. As you watch, one stumbles and falls. And his companion stoops to grab his arm and steady him. Then they keep running. When they see you, they start waving their arms and shouting, but you're

too far to hear them. Hey, they've got sheep. Can I roll perception? Astute observation, Doran. Yes, you can roll perception. That's, that's the thing that we should be interested in. Look there. Not their. Sheep. Why are they running? I only got 10. They're running. We keep riding in their direction. Let's ride. If they're trying to wave us down, so clearly we want to talk to us. I will ride with vigor. The wind?

And Kraloth. Vigur and Kralov. You ride toward the pair of shepherds leading their sheep, and as you approach them, you realize this is probably a mother and her teenage son. They look similar in terms of coloring and height, and she waves at you, help, help us. Please. Yeah, we ride over as quick as possible. What do you need? What's wrong? Our home is just back there.

We, there were giants. I'm sorry, we've been running half the morning it feels like to get away. Our home said it's half a day's travel back into the woods. We were out pasturing our sheep. We were crashing. in the forest, and three hill giants fell upon us and our flock. We managed to escape with about half of the herd, but they were scooping up sheep and putting them in bags.

Oh, my God. Can I roll insight on her? Sure. Just because... Case you think she's lying or something? 24. She is not lying. Good.

Just these woods to the west here. That's right. What did the giants look like? They were big, very fat. I guess. Smelly. Okay. That sounds like hill giants.

Let's go take a look. Yeah. Well, why don't you get your flock out of here? Get the fuck out of here. Get to Amphail. You'll have safety there. There are guards there. Red Larch is much closer.

We'll probably go that direction. Go to Red Larch instead. That's a much better idea. Good thinking, Kralov. Good job, Kralov. Yes, thank you. Are you travelers or? We're giant slayers

He is, I just hang out with him That's so kismet It's very... No, we don't talk about kissing in this potty I create an illusionary map of the area Can you show us where your farm is? Yes, oh, this is so cool Focus on what's happening now

Almost makes me forget about that terrible tragedy That I was... Yes, it's right here And she stabs a very decided finger down at the map adjacent to the path like she said about half a day's travel

is there anybody else at the farm any other family members it's just the two of us are there only sheep there I mean I have our sheep with us there's like 40 sheep like are there any other nearby farms Is that what they do? No we have no neighbors

well take yourselves to Red Lash and we'll take a look Thank you. There's three of them, you said? That's all we saw, yes. Understood. I turned to Jack.

Perhaps you should send Kieran on a flight, at least just to notify the guards of Waterdeep. Not that they should come running, but to be aware. Assuming this conversation's happening a little ways away from them. Yeah, like, I'm assuming all the sheep passes. Yeah, they're like, you know, 15 minutes of sheet passing. They'll be in Red Larch well before Kieran could get to Water Deep. If there's any help, it's coming from there. I mean, it's worth noting on our map of giant attacks.

There's three giants here on this farm on this day. Yeah. I don't, you know, if we're riding in that direction, we might just want to see if they're still there or which direction they were headed to see if we can sort of help narrow in where the center of them is. What do we want to do about the giants in the meantime? I don't know.

Do we face them? Personally, I would say probably not. As much as I was toting being giant slayers, we faced those giants back in golden fields with an entire team. That's right. We are just the four of us now. We had... And that was only two giants.

And that was two giants. We're talking about three now. That's right. Not to mention there doesn't seem to be anything at stake. The farm is empty. For the sheep are mostly gone and there's no farms nearby. Right. We know that there's giants all around the desert and valley.

We're going to run into situations like this again. And it's heartbreaking to see that family lost almost everything. At least they've got half their flock of sheep. That's right. They're lucky than most. But like the captain was saying in Waterdeep, if there's a hive, we should have asked if they were all men that they saw

or if there was a woman. Well, you sent the shepherds north on the road that you're traveling. You are also traveling north. If you plan to go up the road, you're going to encounter them again. Oh, perfect. So then we can drop a letter in the mail at Red Larch and we can ask them, you know, because we're really trying to find,

where is this hive, for lack of a better word, where is it? So on the ride north to Red Larch following, maybe we end up escorting these two. I was going to say, like, you sent them north to Red Larch, and you're like, we're giant killers, we'll take care of it. And then 20 minutes later, you guys ride up behind them like, oh, hey. On second thought. No, we're going to kill those giants, but we've got to go to Red Larch first. Yeah, it's some giant killing supplies.

Some giant raid. No, I think we're doing the right thing. I think ultimately we're going to have to make decisions as we move through this value about what is worth fighting for. And if there were lives at stake, then yes, I think that is a decision that we need to say, this is worth dying for. But frankly, an empty farm, I don't think it's worth dying for. I agree. And that's what we should tell them, too. I'm sorry, but at this time, we're looking to fix the whole problem, not just the smaller issue.

shoe of three giants. You want to heal the soul, not patch the wounds. Why don't we just tell them we want them to arrive at Red Larch safely and we are going to escort them there? That too. That's real. And the advice that I'm going to give, especially for hill giants, is that if you see a hill giant again, sacrifice five of your sheep and, you know, send the sheep towards the giants and you take off. I mean, that is true as well. It will distract them, right? It's true. It's true. They're a good point. So you ride up on this family escorting their Sheep to Red Larch. Bravely ran away.

Oh, hello. Brave Dice Shame party. You're back. No, unfortunately, we just, we're not ready at this time to take on those giants. And while we are giant killers or giant slayers, we're planning on taking on the nest. So we're so sorry about your farm, but we want to take you to Red Larch. I'll just put these magic items back in my... No, no, we'll take those from...

Oh, you silly little goose. Like I always say, if you want to kill the serpent, you have to cut off the head. Now, come on. Say, um, did, don't giants. Doran's right. Doran rides away by himself. On shit for it. I picture him like battling it, bouncing back.

One fine Doran rides away. Did, um, uh, did the, uh, giants, were they all males? Did you notice if they had giant penises swinging? Swing. Or little penises? They seemed to be men. Yes. I mean, male, not men, certainly, cowards.

Thank you. Sheep ears. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. I know that you've been through something very scary, but you got out of this. Lucky you have each other. You've got half your flock.

You can sell some of the flock. You can make a little bit of income in red larch, and it's going to be fine. These sort of happenings are happening all over the valley. What? Everything's fine. Giants are everywhere. So you escort these fine folk up the road to Red Larch,

where you arrive in the evening times. Why is it called Red Larch? It is named for a distinctive stand of Red Larch trees that were cut down when the village was founded. Now you know. Wow. The Shepherd tells you this. Oh, I see.

Obviously. Don't you know anything? Well, we're just looking for a place to lay our heads for the night. We're going to head north. Do you know of any inns? Um, yeah, there's a... Oh, let me guess. The Red Larch Inn.

There is an inn called the Swinging Sword. It is a three-story stone in with a high-pitched roof. There's also a tavern. Ramshackle yet lively. Which would you prefer? Let's just stay at the Swinging Sword Inn and move on in the morning. Yes. True.

Quite frankly, I don't feel like having drinks. Having a dry place inside for an evening, Jack might want to examine that bag of dust he was given a little while ago. Just now that there's no. Now that he's got some moments, he can put any stuff aside and just focus on something technical. I feel like there's this wonderful tension, too, between Jack and Red. And like, you know, everything is kind of the same except any time that Kraloth and Doren leave the room and Jack and Red are there for an instant. It's just like quiet and they both leave.

Like there's this really palpable tension that only exists when it's the two of them. I love that. Yeah. Tell me also about sleeping arrangements. Do you guys insist on sleeping in different rooms now that you have? the option to? I don't know that we ever slept in the same room. Well, I mean, in Liamann's tiny hut, you are certainly in close quarters.

Absolutely, yeah, yeah. In my mind, in this situation, because you're opening the bag of magic powder, I'm picturing us all, like, almost in a slumber party. Bunk beds. Well, you know, there's a lot of taverns that have hostile floors, like on the top. Red and Oren, for sure. It would be happy with taking the top floor like that communal hostile space with anybody else who'd be welcomed, Dorin?

Absolutely. Jack's not going to make a big deal about it or try and be separate. Everybody's like, yeah, we're all up in the hostel. That's great. He's going to go there. He's not making any big fuss about it.

You're not like pulling out your noble money and making sure that you get your own room. No. I feel like at this moment in time, there's so much looming overhead with giants that we've just passed that we're trying to make it somewhere that we're less,

we're more in a hurry to get there. Yeah. And less about, oh, let's enjoy this tan and a few drinks and the laughs like we were doing in water. Well, not only that, I think the emotion. emotional impact, too, is pushing us a little bit.

We're, like, trying to move far away from that excavation site as well, because it kind of, everyone's just trying to move forward. Like, there's a bit of a pull and a push that's like, let's just keep going. Well, no, but, I mean, Krayloth as well, like, that's where he saw the, that's right, apparition last. I mean, he's still kind of shaken. Red throughout this time would be trying to get to know Oren, because I'm very interested in him.

But additionally, and this is something I would be very interested in talking to at night, you know, I would love to crawl over to Kralath's bunk and just, make sure he's okay and be like, have you seen any other creatures or visions? I haven't, but I feel like, I mean, I've had some time to think about this, and I think it's something that I need to be seeing.

I haven't had too much time to pray to Kelimvor over the past couple of days, but this is something that's important for me. This isn't just, you know, a flash in the pan, so to. speak cooking terms. This is a... Hashtag food.

Hashtag. This is a significant event in my journey. And I think it might help me put together the pieces of the blank spots I've got. Look, buddy, I'm here for you. If you need me at any time, you just let me know. Okay, and here, I want you to have this. And I pull out the wheat stock carving that I took from zero. Z's room.

I was wondering when that was going to come back to. It's something that's like just kind of been a nice warm reminder of like something warm to hold on to, whether it be me or anything. And I look at it. What does it look like? It's a wooden carving of a sheaf of wheat that's a holy symbol of Chantay. Z made it herself. Wow, red.

I don't think you understand how much this means to me. I think Kralath would probably put it down next to his lantern and his holy. symbol and oh man when jack sees that does he flinch if he looked over and saw it or if crayloth was like oh this is really lovely i'm going to set it here out in the open because like jack would just look at it and grimace because it's remembering another instance where red walked into someone's life was like that thing's pretty can i have it and didn't think about how that would make z feel and whether she felt obligated because she was now giving us this great gift and now we're going to ask for other things like it's just jack's got that framed in his mind is another place where red like

pushed on a button and didn't think about how the other person would feel and it just makes him grimace and think about that moment. So how do, I mean, I'm picturing Jack experimenting with this dust. Yeah, he's been, he's been, it's taken a couple of days, so he's been looking for like collecting rainwater knowing that it would be a, a very neutral substance, going to find vinegar and knowing that that's a fairly acidic substance, going to find soda and ash somewhere, knowing that, like, finding different little reagents, he can do the different tests on this magic powder to try and figure out, try and rule out which ones he thinks it is, which ones it isn't, knowing that if he burns it, does it turn a particular color? That might explain something.

Just a little pinch of it here, trying to discern down the little things he knows about this powder to get it into like a concrete understanding of what it is. As you experiment with this dust, you accidentally sprinkle a little bit on your hand. And you begin to levitate. You gain a flying speed for 10 minutes. Cool. So that's kind of awesome. And you now recognize this to be pixie dust.

That's what I meant. What did I see, Tinkerbell? Fairy, very dust. Fairy dust. Pairy dust. What do you think this is, Alex? This is serious. Pixied dust.

Come on. Jack, now that you recognize that this is pixie dust, you know everything about Pixie dust. You're well versed in what this is, though you've never held any or had any to play with. You know that one pinch of pixie dust can substitute for the material components of any enchantment spell of third level or lower, and that if you sprinkle a pinch of pixie dust on a creature,

a magical effect will happen based on what I roll on a D100, which I just rolled and you flew. Interesting. So it's not just a matter of thinking of a wonderful thing. Correct. of a wonderful thought. How much pixie does to see? You have nine pinches left.

Jack knowing that there's a limited time where he's going to have this effect on him, as soon as he like spills it on his hand thinks, fuck, I just wasted some of this, feels the effect, he cinches it up and goes to step outside to fly. Cool. I mean, Kieran flies too. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.

There's an immediate like, hey Kieran, let's check this out. And there's an almost joyous moment of him imagining to get away from it all and to finally, with his own eyes, look out and see the giant map that is the world before him, to see this projection he's only ever, like, experienced through Kieran's eyes and translated onto this, like, magical illusion. Now he's just enjoying seeing it all for himself, seeing this great big map of the realms and looking off to see the mountains on one side

and the great forests over that way. And just as far as his eyes can see as the light is dimming and dimming and lowering the, you know, the distance he can see until at the end of the 10 minutes, he might settle down on top of the town. While he's up there, what does he say to Kieran? I think it's just, it's just like a joyous laughter. There's, there aren't words to express this thing. It's making real this, this thing he has a real passion for.

It's, it's, it's his, his mind is caught up with, like, putting names to all the roads he can see, and drawing borders to all the places he can draw borders, and naming all the little towns he can see, and, and the farmstead. And, and just like, it's that laughter as, like, new connections and new ideas are made and new, He gains a new perspective on what he's looking at. I think it makes Kieran very happy to be up here with you. You're their favorite person, you know, your constant companion. And they're like, look at this cloud stuff. Like, see how this feels?

She does like a crazy loop to loop. Yeah. You know, they're like showing you this aerial fun that you can have. And I think there's a lovely dive down. at the last moment to land on the roof as the last of the pixie dust wears off and then realize, I don't know how to climb. How the hell am I getting down from here? Oh, no, you're stuck up on the roof. Definitely up there for a little while. It's a three-story building. Yep. Yeah, he's, uh, it goes from like dusk to dark. He's just up on the roof.

Doran's lying in bed, right? And he's starting to doze off and he sees Jack get up and leave. He doesn't really pay much attention to it. And I picture Doran is sleeping on the bottom bunk close to the window. And he's, you know, as his eyes are kind of blinking shut, he sees Jack fly by the window. And he's like, oh, that's fucked up. I swear I just saw Jack fly by. Go to sleep, Doran. No, I said, yeah, I must be sleep.

No, I saw Jack. And then a moment later, you hear like, uh, um, help. Jack's just appreciating the moment But he's like, Kieran, can you go see if anybody's awake? I can totally picture that. Yeah, that's a good idea. So Kieran comes down. Yeah, so Kieran can make their way.

Rat, tat on the window. Yeah, but like the door is closed, right? Yeah, if there was that window that that Doran saw Jack through, I think he might try and land on the windowsill there. So the Tressum lands on the window sill and meow. Meow.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And Doreen gets up out of bed. Somebody let the fucking cat in. And he pushes the door open or the window open. The cool night air comes in. Where's Jack? Mew.

Kieran starts in their paw on the ground, starts to draw letters in Giant. Oh. To try and like spell out on the roof. I can't read Roons. Red, you can speak giant. Come read, come read this. Wake up. What?

What? So I, where, I don't know where Jack is in, and the cat's here drawing fucking runes. I can't even read this shit. What is it, boy? Is he in trouble? And I, like, walk over and I read the runes and it says on the roof? It says on the roof.

I told you I saw him flying. Kralov, wake up. I slapped Kralath's foot. Kral. Ah, he's asleep. Just go up, get him, Red. What do I mean I get him? Go get Jack.

Why is on the roof? Well, I don't know. I leave another window. Are you up there? Yeah. And I climb out. What the hell is you doing on the roof? I don't know.

And I climb out on the roof. And I like reach back in just my pond. I'm like, give me a rope. I'll find a rope. Give me a second. Yeah, I do. Hemp and rope in the roof. Yeah, I'll have like rope up the wazoo.

So, yeah, I grab you a rope. Here, here, here. And I hand them in the rope. And I climb up to the roof. What are you doing up here? Deferos was, it's a bag of pixie dust. One of the things that can do is make you fly sometimes. Well, I hope

you had fun, and I toss the rope, and I go to climb back down. I lean out and shut the window. Dorn! Open the window! It's like tight, and I latch it. And I just point my finger at red, and I kind of give a stern father-like look, and then point up to the roof,

and then go back to sleep, and I blow out the light. Jack, Doren's not letting me back in. Maybe he wants us to huh well uh it's quite a view from up here huh yes it is it's quite nice i imagine this is what kieran sees all the time yeah it's kind of kind of wonderful to see a new perspective uh you don't get enough opportunities to do that sometimes um hey it's been kind of weird between us the last couple of days you're telling me feels like there's been a bit of tension in the

Yeah, since you know, you yelled at me and hurt my feelings. Yeah, I had a lot of feelings myself. I didn't mean to sort of spill that all onto you. It's been a lot of hard choices, you know? Lots of change going on and trying to let life orient in a new direction sometimes. and I thank you for picking up that present from Toran. I read the note. I know it's in there.

Jack, of course. And Red walks over and sits down next to you. Look, I understand that I'm not always the most understanding of things. And I recognize that sometimes I mess up and I say the wrong thing. But I really meant it when I want to be your friend. And I really didn't mean anything by saying something stupid at Torin, and I know I put my foot in it sometimes, but I think that's part of my charm, frankly. And I just want what's best for you, and I really hope that when this is all over, you do get back to the city. And I do hope you get to spend time with Torin, and more than that, I hope that you and I can be friends, proper friends, not just people who got lumped in together on an adventure because fate deemed it so, but people that can share.

share and become close. I want that too. I mean, you know, we are, for better or worse, we've got a whole hell of an adventure in front of us, and there's no way we're getting out the other side if we're not, if we're not on the same team. And I don't think I've ever, it's not so black and white that I ever considered you not my friend. I mean, ever since we, we, you know, started working together on that first dig we've been you know you've been you've been you're you're very charming but there's also you know sometimes you say things and don't realize that they hurt or that they impact other people and i sometimes watch it happen sometimes it's happening to me and i don't know how to

talk to you about those things well i don't either all i can say is that i'll try my best at least around you to say things that I try not to hurt you. And for your side of things, Jack, you can be pretty cut and dry about things, you know, that asmodious people, they seem nice enough. And, you know, thinking that I was going to pray to an evil cultist on Zephyros's clatter, I feel like sometimes you think they're worse to me. And it makes me feel like you're forcing me into a box. and I don't want either of us to be in boxes.

I want both of us to be in the same friendship box of friends. Like that beautiful chest where we got magic items in. It did have a comfy cushion in there. A very comfy cushion. And in the spirit of that, I'll tell you exactly what I remember for my dream. Red closes his eyes for a moment and takes like a deep breath.

And I want to say this, Jack, he, like, stops, like, mid-bread that Jack's, like, I can see his, like, isolating. You and I are just different people. I'm just as excited about this as you are, and I want to work together on figuring where this place might be. I might have dismissed it, but trust me,

I've been thinking about it a lot. I remember craggy, purple rocks. There was a coast. It was a shattered jewel of the coast. There were scrubby trees, and I saw three dozen humans walk down a path to the sea. They had bronze skin. Then three of them stepped forward.

It was two men and a woman, and they each threw a child into the water. Two of the children were young, and one was about four, all pale-faced. And then I remember there was a man walking the path, and it looked like he had gills, deep cuts in the side of his neck. and Red opens his eyes. Look, I know this stuff matters to you, and it matters to me too.

And I hope that this can be a new leaf. And I promise, I will not try to kiss you. Is it all right if I ask a couple of questions about that? Sure. I think Jack's asking Red if it's all right to ask him a few questions. Oh, I'm sorry. How dare you? Yes, of course.

My mistake. That's kind of funny, though. But I, and I think Jack is then going to start to try and go for like the little details that might narrow it down geographically, like what color were the rocks, did they look like they were in big chips or were they stones or anything to try and like get a type of place, what time of year did it look like, what time of day was it, where was the sun and the sky for that time of day, just anything that could place it in a time and space and hemisphere and all that kind of stuff. You know, I've thought a lot about that dream since waking up. To be honest, I feel like it's lingered on my mind, just like that scent of salt lingered on my hand. And the truth is, I really don't remember all that much other than what I've told you. I want to remember more, and I promise you, I will tell you more if I can think of it. But, look, I'm no idiot.

I know that these giants have chosen us to reorder us. I'm no idiot. can we hug? Yeah, let's do that. Jack puts his arm around red and holds him close. And I can picture them looking out as the moon is sort of rising up above red larch and just cresting the mountains that are, you know, past the Crip Garden that are sort of way out that way that we can see on the horizon

as it comes across and gives him a big sort of side hug. That's, that's, you know, very, very friendly and long and just sort of as they're sitting on the roof staring out. Doran opens the window and at that very moment yells, I hope you guys aren't kissing up there. No and not, but we made up his friends. Let's go back inside. Jack rolls his eyes at Doran and then like carefully climbs the rope down.

Yeah. I feel like we'd go back in, we'd like figure away in that window probably. All the while, Trayla is sleeping. To bed, to bed. The party is better than ever, I would say. Dang, right. So happy you guys made up.

Me too. Do you have inspiration, Harley Bear? No, I don't. I would like to give you inspiration for making up with Jack. Thank you. Doran, let's get in a fight and make up. Yeah. So you depart for the Crypt Garden Forest on the 11 of Marponoth.

You're not expecting to come upon any civilization between here and there. You're heading north on the long road. You travel for a long day. This is getting tiring for you. I'm not sure if you're used to spending a lot of time over land, but, you know, it's exhausting and you sleep on the road. But our spirits is so much better now that me and Jack are friends again. And I let everyone know loudly.

Jack and I are friends again, everyone. Yes, yes, yes. Like a good 20 minutes outside of town. Good. And then maybe like again before we camp. Good. My friend, Jack and I will make sure the camp's clean. Just some silly challenge.

I'm just to do it with if that's how long you're, letting people know or how long we're friends. Oh, no, we're friends forever now. You've let red into your heart. I'm not letting go. You know, I thought riding on a horse is going to be shitty. But I am enjoying sitting on this horse instead of walking. So, I take it back.

I like you, shit fart. Nay. You know, technically shit fart is a pony. Well, they're in the same family, right? It's sort of like how dwarfs and humans are in the same family. Yeah. Dwarves and goblins too, I guess sometimes. Maybe if it works. And Kralath and Red give each other another nervous look. As we're camping that night, we're, you know, so we're kind of, what, two days away from Kripgarden, I guess?

You expect to be there not tomorrow, but the next day. So, yeah, we're kind of getting ready for the night and Krayloth's making his famous stew as I'm gathering mushrooms nearby. That's right. More warm stew, eh? No, we're going to leave out the worms this time, Doran. Yeah, we're going to stick to mushrooms. They're such good, oh, mushrooms are good protein. Mushrooms are great protein.

And so is rabbit. Rabbit stew. And, uh, yeah. So this dragon, and Red says he comes back in holding a bunch of mushrooms. Any thoughts? Well, I think, I mean, I've been told tales of dragons. And that's as far as. as my knowledge goes,

is sitting around a campfire, people telling tales. But one thing that seems to ring true for all dragons is that they all want something. Yeah. So what are we going to give it? Gold or babies. That's all the dragons wanted in the Grey Mountains.

When I was living there. I didn't bring any babies. Do you have any babies in the bag of holding? My point is that I don't trust dragons. And I'm not looking forward to this, but I just know that there's often one thing that drives them, and that's gold. Well, we don't have all that much gold.

We're about 1,200 pieces, but, unfortunately, I think the most valuable thing we have right now might be that magic powder. I have an array of odd trinkets, a half skull of a human, a dwarven beard necklace, I have a cloud giant, sorry, and a piece of cloud.

I don't think they'd value that all that much. What did you get a dwarven beard necklace from? What do we hope to learn? You mean what kind of questions? would we ask? I mean, that's what our friend in the tower said is that this was a scrying dragon. I suppose one of the big questions I am curious about is what does reshaping the ordaining the ordaining actually involve? Like, what does that actually mean? Who knows what kind of questions we'll even get to ask? Maybe we'll get to ask something existential, like why is this happening or how do you recreate an

Ordining, or maybe it's only going to tell us things like where in the world things are. Well, you know, maybe then we should make this a fine point. Where do we go? Why are we doing it? I like that. General back and forth. What do you say, Jack? I mean, it makes sense. We've got a couple of days to ride and brainstorm some more things. Let's pitch some ideas around and I'll keep a list. Maybe we won't even get to ask a question. Maybe the dragon will show up and eat us. Well, let's keep riding and see what we come across.

You guys sleep another night on the road And Marpinoff at 12 dawns Drizzly and Cold My favorite weather Shitfant says it's his favorite weather too You ride for about the majority of the day Until you pass by a low-lying swampy area You catch sight of massive shapes moving quietly in the trees

Can I roll perception? You certainly can 24 You spot Some giants Can I discern what type Hill fire These are not types that you have seen before

Interesting They are taller than hill giants They have mottled gray skin What do you do? Like are we talking miles? We're talking like 100 feet away from you Oh wow You are passing by a low-lying swampy area

so the road is probably raised up out of the swamp, and off to the left of the road, about 100 feet away from you, Red, you see massive shapes moving quietly in the trees. I quickly make the signal

for everyone to crouch. And as you do, a boulder sails through the air and crashes to the ground at your feet missing you by inches. Everyone roll for initiative. Oh shit. I got a a whopping zero for an initiative.

Is that a one? Natural one. Oh, for shame. Shame. Shame. I was really worried you weren't going to shame a day, but oh, shame, shame. It's part of my set, but I can't be with you anymore. All right.

Kralat's got zero. What about Jack? Ooh, 15. All right. Doran. 20. Red? 16.

Cool. So there are these large shapes moving in the trees. Red. identifies them as stone giants likely, tells you all to crouch down as you're on this raised road out of the low-lying swamp lands. And as he does, a boulder crashes at your feet. Doran, it's your turn.

Doran grabs Oren and launches him at that. Doran grabs Oren and throws him at the back, maybe on the other side of the dish, not really caring if he falls into the water. So your action is to pick up the halfling and throw them into the ditch? Out of harm's way. Okay. I can't really do much at this point.

Well, they didn't hit us. I don't know if that was purposeful or if that was just bad aim. But let's all be mindful of that. Actually, I'm going to roll insight. If that should have hit us with ease, 19. Um, you know that from this range. they are probably not going to be most proficient with rocks. Well, it looks like from that distance,

they may have been able to hit us or may not have it. It's hard to say if their aim was necessarily accurate or if they just missed us. Let's be weary because it doesn't look like we've ever faced something like this before. Your turn, Red. You know, Red speaks giant. He has good persuasion. I think this is the best chance we're going to have to talk to them before the battle starts.

So I'm going to jump on Doran's shoulders, and I'm going to clear my throat. And in my loudest giant voice, I'm going to tell them that we are just passing through, that we mean them no harm. And please let us go on our way. Roll persuasion with disadvantage. 17. Really? I rolled 11 and 14. I have plus 6.

One of them responds to you in a deep voice that sounds like a rock falling down the mountainside. And she says, Buh, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. I'm just kidding. We will wipe your existence from this world. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, nice. I relay that to them.

Is that my action? No, that's not an action. Look, they're planning and killing us. I think we should run. Unless there's an immediate consensus not to, I'm going to start moving. anyone? I mean, I think there's a chance they might know something

about where the hill giants are or something. We'll be able to goad them into telling us information about their enemies. But I can do that with message from 120 feet away which is my next thing

is to try and tell them their weekend that the hill giant was going to be on top of them in the ordaining and see where they want. I have advantage of information. I've just talked to these things. Is there any way I can roll to see what, like are these things

so much more powerful than us? Is there any sort of, you know, something along those lines. If you would like to perform your, like, class skill on top of speaking this turn? This would be my favorite enemy skill. Yes. I would call it an action, but you certainly can. I will do it purely because Dorn hasn't moved, so he's stuck here anyway.

And honestly, maybe I'm totally reading these things wrong. Maybe the Stone Giants aren't as bad as the Hill Giants. Maybe we can take them. To me, I sense a large number of them. I don't really want a tango, and they seem very hostile. Oof. Good thing I rolled with advantage, because I rolled a nat. roll one on Chesterer.

Oh, Chester. A little bastard. But I rolled a 13 on my other one. Okay, not bad. Sorry, 12, it's intelligence. Your eye catches on the stone that had been thrown at you lying in the middle of the road. There's a dwarven ruin on it. Interesting.

And from the verbiage that they used when they yelled back at you, it seems like they are intent on destroying something that's beyond your field of view right now. Maybe they're not yelling at us. It seems like they're intent on destroying something beyond my field of view. They said, we will wipe your existence from the face of the world, basically. Interesting. I am not smart enough to decipher what that could mean.

As Harlan and Red. Jack, it's your turn. So looking back at the horse in cover on the other side of the road somewhere, and Jack's going to pull out a little piece of wire out of, of his hand and point at the closest big shape he can see out there and and send a message into that one's brain and giant saying the hill giants rule the desert and valley from their fortress you they're going to kick you out of here soon anyways you guys are weak they're going to be on top of you in the ordaining um and she's got an whoever it is has an option to respond

if they like yeah she's definitely going to respond to that that's goading if i ever heard it She's going to say to you in her most fearsome voice, she says, You know nothing of the All-Father. We will attain the top of the ordaining, and you will die for it. But so I'm taking this turn, because I can cast the spell through stones and rocks and things to get the fuck into cover. And on the far side of the road, next to Amakir, ready to mount up and get the hell out as soon as I can. And I might, like, whisper to the other guys, they think they're in the process of wiping everything off the face of the earth. they're planning to be on top of the ordaining.

I'm hoping we can get some more information about what the hell that's going on. I feel like you just made them really angry and then ran away. Yeah. It's not what happened. It's the giant's turns. They got higher than zero.

How, though? Emerging from the waving trees of this swamp, four fearsome stone giants, move forward 40 feet toward you, leaving 20 feet between them and our heroes on the road. 20 feet between us? Yes.

I believe I said they're 60 feet away from you. And then they all try to murder you with boulders. Oh, fuck. They're hefting these large pieces of what look like masonry, some big gray stones. And they're throwing them at you. First one's going to aim at Kralov. Go for, no, don't.

17 to hit. That is aiming. Miss. Whoah? Next one aims at Doran. 26? Nope. Yes.

God damn it. Wait, 26 hits you? It's not funny. Oh, shit. How could a flying boulder cause so much damage? Like, really. It's Dwarven masonry.

It's really well made. You can tell the stonework that kills you. Is that iron fist? Miserie. 23 bludgeoning damage. Oh. Tis but a scratch. Dorn make a sense.

Strength saving throw. So nine. You are knocked prone as the boulder clubs into you. So you fall down. One of them aims at red. Ooh, darling. 20. Yeah.

Dirty. Thank God. 14 bludgeoning damage. Ouch. Red. Make a saving throw. Natural one. Oh, my God.

Chester. That's two in a row. I am shaming him. Shame, jester. Shames. Shames. Two in a row. Red, you are also knocked down.

For fuck's sake. And one of them will try to aim at Jack, though I'm going to give you some cover Jack. Yeah. So 25 to hit? A 25 hits Jack. 24 bludgeoning damage. Yeah, and I take a nine on that strength save. You are knocked prone.

Yeah. So everyone is prone, but Kralath. Kralas, it's your turn. Holy fuck. Not looking good. No, they are. Now can we run a lot? May I remind you, standing up takes half of one move action.

What would you like to do? First things first, I'm going to step over to red. I'm going to kneel down and say, you still got that ring on, right? Yes. And I'm going to cast warding bond. And so you're going to get plus one to AC and saving throws. And you have resistance to all day. Damage.

Amazing. Thank you. Wow. That's a cool spell. It's a cool spell, but I also take the damage. You take some of that damage? I take half the damage that he's supposed to take. So it's still the same amount of damage, but it's split up.

Thank you, buddy. You're going to be okay. Doran, you're not. I'm here. I'm just lying down for a second. I'm just resting my bones. I'm going to begin moving away. So I'm not going to look up the fucking rules for a mountain.

mounted combat, but I'm going to call getting on your horse a movement action. Sure. And then you can use your horse's movement speed, which is 60 feet on your turn. Okay, perfect. On my turn, this is my turn. Yep. Okay, so I'm going to move 60 feet. And in the broken giant that I know from the seven days of learning, you told me that one sentence.

What was that one sentence read? Your mother is rabbit jerky. And I'm going to try to draw them away from Doren and Jack. I'm just going to shout that. I don't know if that's intimidation or anything like that, or persuasion. Yeah, let's call it intimidation. All right, green dye. 11 to intimidate.

Doran, what happens now? The four giants have laid you and your companions look. I don't know what the right answer is, but all I know is that a bolder landed here, I saw red look at it in sort of a curious fashion. And lying prone, I would like to use my stone cunning to identify what the fuck these stones are. Very interesting. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Whenever I make an intelligence history check related to stonework, I'm proficient in the history skill and double my proficiency bonus. Make such a check for me. So 16. Okay. As you are lying on the ground and looking at this curiously shaped stone directly in front of your face, you recognize a worn symbol, a seven-pointed star over a fish facing to the left. It occurs to you that these stones may be part of the ancient, dwarven ruin of South Crypt. They're being thrown at you. Oh, there are ruins, I say to myself, and I dand up. Like, I don't know. Cool.

Can I use my other half of my moon to get on my horse? Yeah. My pony. And that's what I'll do. And I get on my horse and I ride my pony. And I meet up with Kralath 60 feet away. Come on, come on. Let's go.

Get out of here. Red, you're up. I'm going to stand up for half my movement. I'm going to climb on my horse and I'm going to ride 60 feet. Jack, it's your turn. Jack's going to be prudent and stand up, get on his horse, and ride chasing after the... Okay, so you guys are all in agreement. Escape on horseback as quickly as possible is your priority.

Yes, yes. It's a giant's turns. Jack, you've just goaded one of the stone giants telepathically, and she's not ready to let that go too easily. She closes the distance between you as you trail behind your friends some 20 feet. Her heavy footfalls shake the ground booming loudly in your ears She reaches toward you through the rain And tries to grab you

Make a Constitution saving throw Oh, oh no 15 Kralath You look back through the rain At your friends riding up the road behind you You see Doran on his pony And Red close behind

And behind red The Stone Giant stoops low And swipes at Jack Pulling him off of Anne McKear's saddle Jack! The horse screams in fear and doubles her speed, her saddle empty, while the body of Jack is enclosed in the hands of the stone giant. Jack, you are overcome with a terrible coldness as you lose sensation of your limbs. The paralysis crawls up your body, up your spine, and you lose consciousness, overcome by fear and pain.

Oh, no. Are you freaking kidding? No! Red, Doren, Kraloth, you watch. helplessly as Jack changes color, rigid in the stone giant's hands. His flesh and clothes take a gray hue. The folds of his traveling cloak stop moving. She brings him up in front of her face and examines him for a minute while the other three stone giants gather around her. And then she presses his still form to her left bicep. And when she removes her hand, Jack's petrified form is

melded with her arm his face a rictus of fear and regret I think for the first time I'm speechless Jack I can't talk right now follow us on Instagram but do whatever I don't care

Hey, yeah.