Dice Shame - 3-5 | 'Sow the Seed'

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

Doubt creeps into the party...______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their friend Nic as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobia Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yeah, I know what it feels like to be in charge. Once I die at the ripe old age of 375. Are you the Thenetamasser? Look, we're all on the same page. We don't get the outcome that we're expected. It is a bit of a mystery. We're getting a whole ship of Theseus up in here. I think what I'm getting is I want to stay me.

There is question about whether or not the orb has been corrupted. I know the feeling. Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is Season 3, Episode 5, So the Sea. MVP this week is Bullrog 22, who says, I'm on Season 2, episode 109, and I love the show, and I'm also another Alex. Thanks so much for listening, Bullrog. You are this week's MVP.

Thanks, Alex. All right, should we do this? Let's play some D&D. Woo! Someone have a great intro topic question. I've got some stuff written down. Let me see if anything's good. Perfect. Alex, launch us into this.

Let me see if anything's good. It might not be anything good. I like the idea that you're writing these down and you're like, this is terrible. This one's real bad. It's tricky because you don't want it to be like a yes or no answer or like a short form answer. It has to be something that we can talk about. What's the worst? time or moment to sneeze.

Oh. Oh. Okay. Oh. Oh. When you have to fart. No. When you're holding it in. When you really have to go take a number two.

Now, can I just say. Could you imagine? The worst thing about sneezing is when you're about to sneeze and then it goes away. Or like you try to sneeze and it can't and you don't and you can't and then it doesn't happen because then I think you get snottyer like your nose gets right I think it would be oh I agree with that that it's the wanting to sneeze and then not being able to sneeze and so I was going to say the worst time to sneeze is like or to feel like you need to sneeze is when you are talking or giving a presentation and then you got to go hang on hang on and then the second you

start thinking about it it goes away and now you just you there's no more focus on it and then you just seem like someone who needs a minute You just seem crazy. I need a minute. I don't think I've ever seen like a live vocal performer like have to sneeze. I picture like one of these dancer choreographer singers like with a with an earpiece attached right here. Like a Beyonce? Yeah.

And then them not being able to get away. Just like, oh, but it wouldn't it be so funny if you see Beyonce. Someone like a really smooth character to be like, actually. That's why you got to throw pepper on stage. You do have to. But you make like ugly sounding sneeze. I don't know. I still think having to sneeze when you're like holding in.

That's pretty good. Childbirth maybe. Is everyone here like a catch a yawn person? Oh my God. Or is that not really a thing to everybody? I think it's pretty universal. What's the view of that? Here's the weirdest fucking thing.

And I've noticed this. What's a yawn? I have books that when I'm reading them out loud to the kids, I always yawn at a certain point during, and I don't know what it is that is causing that. Conditioning. But yeah, but there is a certain point in the story that I'm reading to Marie, the ghost of Arundel.

It's like a frozen book where I will always yawn. Why? Because you're conditioned. Thank you. I've yawned. I've yawned once or twice in my podcasts, and people will be like, I yawned when that character yawned.

Why do you yawn when others yawn? I read something about this a long time ago that, A, people think that it has to do with like social awareness of your surroundings that potentially there's some aspect of when people are in a group, someone's getting tired, they're like yawning to let other people know how they're feeling and that there's some kind of like reason why you would have.

have evolved a yawn contagion as a social creature. But don't they say like serial killers don't yawn? What? They say that serial killers don't yawn. I don't think that's true. Sorry. Is this like a duck, a duck's quack doesn't echo?

Is that what this is? Where did you hear this? No, no, no, no. That like, like, how can you prove life assurance doesn't work? Cappian stunts your growth. Did you know that? No, but like, I think more what it means is like the social cue aspect for like someone who's, and I'm using the catch-all of serial killer, but it's like, you know, when you,

when you have that, I can't remember what it's called, but you know what I mean, you have like that social. Psychopathy? Psychopathy. Yeah, like that kind of, or sociopathy or something like that. But like when you don't have that sort of social awareness or understanding, you don't yawn as a response because it is, it is built into that sympathetic, like, nature of like social understanding and being like, oh, I yawn, you yawn.

It's a survival mechanism. wanting something to do with like the amount of air you're taking in. That's one of the hypotheses. Yeah. It'd be pretty bad to yawn during a eulogy. Yeah, when's the worst place to yawn? Yeah. He was really good.

I don't know, because a yawn can be like a stress response. Yeah, it is a stress response. That's fair. So I feel like if you're grieving, maybe a yon, I don't know. Pretty funny to yawn during a... It would be funny to yon during a... Whether you were doing... or listening to it.

Yeah. Anyway. Buddy, if you're delivering it, right? But, like, it's your reaction. Like, you're either really tired or you're really not in print. You're, like, not into it. You're like, yeah.

John was great. He was, uh, he was, uh, he was a good friend, I guess. I don't know. I think it'd be, it'd be bad to yawn during a fight with somebody about how disinterested or tired you are. Sure. Like, they were like, I'm so, you never listen to me. You are always yawning when I'm trying to.

tell you an issue story and you yawn then. No, no. I'm not. Oh, you know what I hate? Like these, I also hate when, like, you're in, like, a meeting or you're, like, in some sort of, like, quieter situation where people are focused on something. And you start to get that tickle in the back of your throat. You're like, I know I have to cough, but I don't want to cough.

And so you just start doing that little, like, low throat clear thing. You're just trying to, like, make it go away, but it's just worse. I hate that. Suppressing a cough is, like, one of the heart. hardest, especially if you're like sick. Oh, and you're like, I always hate, especially what you're like keeping your partner up or somebody around you. Not naming names or anything, but yeah.

Your hypothetical partner. You know you're bothering somebody. You know what I mean? Like, you know you're bothering somebody at the, and you're like, and you're like trying not to cough. You're like making more noise. Yes. By not calling.

Forever. Funny. I've done the math in my head before during a situation like that. And I've just been like, nope. It's going to be better if I just cough loud real quick. Yeah. Sorry. It's funny.

It's how we feel bad about that kind of stuff, though, right? Although Harlan's been doing this thing where he blows his nose very specifically, where it's a very loud punctuation of nose blowing, and then he stops for a second, and then he does it again, and he'll do it like five or six times. You got to move around a little. I'm not allowed to breathe between. So she wants me to blow my nose. and have to have infinite breath until I'm done.

Well, it's really hard because you try to... Listen, if you're talking and someone interrupts you with a nose blow like that that is so definitely loud, then you have to reiterate the thing that you're trying to say. Is it interrupting? Because it was covered by the nose blow, but then you have another one in the chamber. And it was pretty funny because I was trying to hear what Marie was saying today. And you did a nose blow and I had to ask her what she was trying to say about six times. And then you did a nose blow again?

Yeah. And then again. But two pieces. Well, hold on. Okay. First off. Drag him. Context.

I was in my bedroom. Our bedroom, yes. Sorry. Yes. Our bedroom. Sorry, baby. Put the shovel down. They walked into the room.

Joe was at the doorway and Marie walked into the room to tell a piece of information. So it's not like. Now, I would probably be on Joe's side if I walked into the conversation and blew my nose. Because I often get annoyed by this little ditty, which is like someone and not you, I'm trying to remember who, but like, but we'll be like on the phone and they'll be on a mobile phone. And I will be doing something that requires stationary. Like either I'm listening to music or I'm watching TV and I'm here. And the person on the mobile phone will like enter the room and be and not need something in the room. Just be like, hey, can you turn it down?

And I'm like, no, no, no, no. you're on the mobile device, go somewhere where you don't need to be heard. And I apply that to me too, because I was in the corner by the tissues and Marie walked into the room to speak. Now, she's a cute little baby. But I would also argue that nose blowing,

I was not accentuating. Like, I wasn't, to be fair, I didn't care. I was just blowing my nose. I was not like trying to time it or equally not trying to time it. I was just like, I'm very sick. I need to clear snot from my nose. I was not being considerate.

It was perfect timing. Perfect comedic timing. I think that's what Joe's saying. It's like whether you do it or not, it was annoying to her, even if you weren't doing it to be annoying. Yes. And it's no offense to you. Because the thing that Marie was trying to say was the exact length of the nose blow. And then I said, sorry, honey, what did you say?

Which was the amount of time that it took Harlan to like inhale and get ready for a nose blow. And then the new nose blow was exactly the length of time that Marie was speaking. It was pretty funny. Like times three or four times in a row. And what was the important piece of information she shared? I don't even remember. It was like I want to drink water or something. There you go.

Children, though they bother you, but the stupidest things. Oh, yeah. Yeah. She woke up this morning when I went into her room to wake her up. She had just had a rock in her hand. From... Were you sleeping with that? Where did you get that rock?

For some reason, you just awakened. of memory. I don't know why. Maybe it was just like weird things that little kids hold on to, but I was really, really young. And for some reason, I got fascinated by it was like an empty glass soda bottle that I had like filled with water. Kids love that shit. And screwed the top. I got and I loved it. I kept polishing it because I didn't want fingerprints on it. And I was just like really. That's so cool. A anal about keeping it polished. That's so interesting. What the fuck? A bottle of water. What the fuck? Did your, did a parent? Did a parent? drink a lot of like beer or something in like a glass bottle because I remember being fascinated by glass bottles because my dad drank a ton of beer. I just kind of like the way that the light and like things looked weird through it, you know, and like I liked it when it was nice and like clean. Wow. So probably some sort of mental illness, I think, even that's that young age.

Oh, I'm a very, very creepy version of that. I was going to say very Terence Malick of you. So my. My. Like beautiful shots. Like looking through. I asked the tooth fairy when I was a kid, one time via a note under my pillow if I could please keep the tooth because I really wanted it. I thought it was, it was like one of my eye teeth or whatever. I really want. And the tooth fairy left me the tooth and I kept it by my bedside and I would put, I would polish it and put Vaseline on it to make it look shiny like not every night but fairly regularly. And so I had one of my own teeth that I would covet the way that you coveted that bottle. Yeah.

Because children are weird. There you go. Kids covet weird shit. Wait, what happened to the tooth? We still have it. She still puts it by her bed every night. Yeah, she had polished that. Weird tooth.

It was disgusting. Joe reaches into her mouth. Here it is. You're all my extricies, guys. I keep them behind my teeth. It's funny. I think you get attached to weird, and I find myself, especially doing daily things, I'll, like, remember something for my childhood exactly like,

that. And I literally had one today. I was going to message Alex about it, but I figured it would be like, I don't have no idea what you're talking about it, because I barely remember it. Stop texting me. No, but I remember there was a type of bar soap that we bought somewhere that had like a toy in it. I remember though. There was something in it. And I had this, I was washing my hands today with bar soap. And I had the strongest like sense memory of like getting sort of halfway through that bar and touching the top of the toy. Really? We have a bar of soap that had a duck in it.

A ducky. Yeah. Yeah. We had one. Mine was a ducky too. You have one now? Yeah. I think we just finished one.

A design or the colored soap in the middle or was it an item? No, it was an item. It was a little rubber ducky. Mine was an item. It was something inside of it. I don't remember. I believe it was something thematic. Like something that I enjoyed like a like a, like a, like a,

Ninja Turtle or something. You know what I mean? Like it was something, Nick, you're not. You had something similar? I think so. Like, this is one of those things where I would go to a friend's house

because I didn't get that kind of stuff. But like, and they would have cool shit like that. Yeah. But it wasn't, it wasn't like a figurine. It was more, but it wasn't also, it wasn't a duck. I'm trying to remember like, because you can see it.

Yeah, that's like the pitch. Like you could see the thing in there. Yeah. Yeah. And again, I had, it was such the faintest recollection that I was like, I kind of remember this.

Did you guys ever have, candles with stuff in them? Oh my God, yeah? Right? That you would burn down and there was like a thing in there like a pewter like little statuette or a charm. Crystal. Yes. I thought, I thought you were going with.

Danone else have those houses where you get the underwater candles like the gel. Oh yeah. And like frozen and you would just stick your, we ruined so many of those candles. Where you go to it's like your aunt's bathroom And in your aunt's bathroom It's like sort of like a glass A candle And it would be a gel candle

And would like colored It would be like the ocean floor It would look like And you just stick your fingers In the gel candle That's so funny I did not I don't know

I've never encountered a gel candle Really? Alex I'm sure We ruined at least five. I did not stick my fingers in any candles. I don't think. Were you sticking your fingers in?

You haven't lived until you stuck your fingers in a gel candle. I'm going to buy one just to stick my fingers in it. Well, especially because there's stuff in there. Did you get the stuff? Did you remove this? You had to. I would just touch the stuff because I would be like, is that a real stuff? And it was.

Maybe is this a Canadian thing? I feel like I've never seen me. That's so funny. It very well might be. It's tough to tell sometimes what things are Canadian. You know what I mean? Or what things are just, you mean weird. I've been making myself, do you guys know this song?

I think it's David Getta bulletproof, I think is what it's called. Yeah. And I think the singer is Sia. And there's a part where she's like, I am titanium. You know that song? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been making myself laugh by replacing titanium with Canadian. It's just.

I'm Canadian. Yes. Da da da da da. Is this your way of saying he wish you. Canadian. Do I wish I were a Canadian? I am Canadian. I don't know.

I think it means that I'm just, I just find dumb shit funny. I think that's what that means. I do too. All right, should we play some D&D? Yeah, let's do it. Woo! Season three.

Shall we? Inside of the Chavere Horticultural Society in Service of Resurrection and Immortality, the receptionist, Amy, brings you upstairs. Amy, have you ever? availed yourself of the services. Oh, no. Not yet, anyway. I lead a simple life. However, the prospect of immortality is intriguing. I've worked here for eight years now, and, well, yes,

I haven't taken the leap. Ah. Is it immortality, though? says from sort of the back. Like, let's say I cut off my finger and I give it to you, and then I croak, and then you grow a new me from said finger. Can that boy cut off a finger and grow a new boy from him? And if so, how many boys can I grow from my fingers? Is it infinite? From my understanding, yes, it is. But is that last final boy, the same boy that caught off his pinky the first time? Yes. We're getting a whole ship of Theseus up in here. A whom? A ship of Stevenus.

It's my personal boat. As we ascend the stairs, she brings you to a series of tapestries. You do see, like, beyond the gallery area. There's, like, a seating area where Cordelia is sitting. And she's, like, doing some angry crocheting. She's brought some, like, stuff with her. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And she's, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's kind of watching you guys do the whole tour as she's crocheting just like over the top of her work. The tapestries that Amy brings you past are like kind of like Stations of the Cross style. I don't know if you've like known from Catholic, like theology, but they're essentially different depictions of events that happened, uh, ostensibly that served to. illustrate a story. And as she leads you past them, she begins to tell you about the

thanatomancy and its origins. And you'll see here, these tapestries are served to tell the story of the thanatomancer and essentially the origin of the practice of this service of reincarnation that we offer here. The Arn-Rut Thanamancer

here you'll see he is in the swamp the cat tails here are symbolic of course I don't believe they are actually present in the swamp I know the feeling but these rays

from the sky serve to represent the god Javier you see the Thanatamancer traveled into the lonely moon

at the behest of his master where he was then contacted by this deity. Shevere, the god of travel between life and death. She takes you to the next tapestry. Here, Finian, the Natamancer, finds the special orb. This magical orb is part of the ritual, as far as I understand.

And he's like, this man is holding this huge orb to the sky while he's like standing in the remains of a desecrated grave site. That's so metal. She's just like so tacky. It's like they've done so many desecrations. Yeah, he clearly like dug this artifact out of a grave site. And she's just like, and this is the magical orb. Here the third tapestry, the Thanatomancer meets the horticulturalist. on the road. You see the detail here, the fine detail of the forgotten forest in the background.

And the final station, the horticulturalist, kneeling amongst the branches of the original iron root with the newly taken cutting. And you see this kind of nondescript figure kneeling amongst the roots of this massive tree and with this ornate dagger is like cutting a piece of it off, this little bark strip, essentially. Any questions? I don't know that I understand the connection between the horticulturist and the Thanatomancer. Which one is responsible for reviving these dead? It is kind of a collaboration, I would say, where Nix, the horticulturalist is responsible for taking

care of the iron root. And and so we have, and so the Thanatamancer, Finian, is responsible for the religious rituals.

He brings the bodies back to life. Oh, so you guys really are like a big stupid religion, a simple, interesting religion. I suppose you could say that, yes. Did I say,

I didn't mean stupid. Can I say stupid? I meant interesting. I did I correct myself, right? I was going to say stupid, but I didn't. I think I pushed past it. I don't think you heard me. Did you hear me, Amy? No, we're good. Dorn looks up from his pamphlet, and he's like, what about old? Does it do old? Like, for instance, Good question. If I buy this now, what kind of guarantee do I have that I can claim this assurance once I die at the ripe old age of 375? Hey, that's a good. Does it bring you back to when your pinky was cut? Can I be a baby again? Yes. You can?

It is, well, yes to your friend. Oh, so I can't be a baby again. No. Oh. The iron root keeps alive the part of you that you sacrifice. And so if you die from old, as you so eloquently put it, you would be brought back into a body the same age as the cut. of yourself.

Oh, cool. Okay, that's... What exactly... What exactly was the charge given by this god chevere? Why grant this ability to mortals? From my understanding

and I am not an expert in the religious underpinnings of Thanatomancy, but the Thanatamancer was charged by this deity to help help revive the souls of the believers.

Oh, is our worship of Shavir required before we can partake of the service? Your donation of material is seen as religious offering. Ah. Hmm. Yeah, I mean, we could get behind a stupid, interesting religion. That's totally fine.

So... Can I say stupid again? What do we do? Endurance for a little. looks over his shoulder at this person that was complaining that has gone upstairs now. What do we do if, let's say, we have to make a claim, but we're not too happy about it? Like, we don't get the outcome that we're expecting. Let's say, for example, I give you a nib of my toe right now.

But then when I die, and he looks at red and Tamil and with a big sad face. Oh. I come back a lot of. older than I am now. Do you have anmbudsman? Someone I can complain to. An objective referee. He looks at Red and Tamil as if

shaking his head as if he's made a great point. God, he's so smart. We guarantee satisfaction. Well, that's no guarantee saying it. You've got to guarantee a guarantee. Satisfies my curiosity. You got to offer some sort of money back or some person or, you know,

how do we even know this guy is real? Red Point the guy in the tapestry. Well, as I said, you are welcome to schedule an appointment for intake. Actually, she looks down over the edge of the balcony into the lobby below, and you see a figure coming out of the double doors. There he is now. But him is probably on some very important business, and so they're far too busy for... No, no, not more important than us.

Well, we typically deal with just general public inquiries. And so, yes. Tamil is already moving towards the banister. No, no, no. I must insist. Leaping over the railing gesturing to Red and Doran. Mad him. Red follows.

Lands on the floor of the first floor between where the sky is in the front door. Yeah, Wim's doing that thing where you take the stairs like two or three. at a time. Like, bum, bump, but, but, but, but,

Bob, boom, hold up, Red follows Tamil. Yeah, and just kind of

standing in front of this, Tamil, we'll put on an expression of kind of wonder and,

you know, slightly almost star-struck, and she'll say, are you, are you the Thunta Man said? You stand before a human man,

tall and slender with a short black goate and short salt and pepper hair. He's wearing like long purple

robes. with a working of a tree done in silver embroidery thread. Yes. Finney ingrained at your service. I'm sorry. I'm quite busy just now. May I direct you to be served by one of my associates? Now I had to see you.

I'm being the bad cop this time, I think. We are fascinated by this practice. And we, in addition to you, potentially availing ourselves of your services, we wonder how one might become a part of your organization. Not just necessarily in the sales department, I'm afraid. None of us is very charismatic. But the actual helping of others of serving severe and helping to aid the believers. Yeah. Roll deception.

Nice. Hmm. Eh-e-e. Uh, okay, so that is a 17. Hmm. And you're saying that all four of you are similarly interested, is that correct? Two of us more than the others. I'll be honest with you.

If you can give me a discount on the 10 for a thousand gold, maybe $750,000, I'm a little more interested. A dwarf is very cheap. We are adventurers, as it might be clear, and we have recently been part of the battle and silvery moon. We have seen many deaths, those of our friends, those of innocent souls. And the idea that

it not need be that way is, it fills us with hope. Again, some of us more than others, but our curiosity at the very least is peaked. I mean, when you think about it, that kind of deserves a discount, right? Heroes, saving others.

Timbiel reaches over and tries to suddenly swine. Doran's arm. I'm like, okay, just count. My good man, the matter of gold is not really my concern. I'm a conduit

for divine energies. My service is important work. Give me one moment, please. He turns back to the receptionist and sort of has like a muttered conversation about whether there's like time. They can like shift around some time

in his morning to make space. for you guys. Doran's like, do you say you can't do it? Can't do it. That's funny. I can probably make some time for you. Yes. Follow me, please.

All right. Come on, Wimmy. Breezes through these double doors and leads you off of the lobby into a long, long, long, long haul. This is more like it. We've spoken with kings. and that I won king, I suppose. And giants. Yeah, a lot of giant royalty.

Giant kings. But we killed them. He's sort of just like nodding and not really listening to you. We drove a giant robot and saved a city. I flew an airship. And he leads you past a set of open doors beyond which there is like very like sparse sparse room just like

a long table with a couple of chairs and big stacks of paperwork and some like fantasy filing cabinets and that sort of thing and beyond that to another set of polished doors and he opens these

to reveal a room of grey stone it is very minimally decorated there's just a big large desk with one chair behind it. That's where he goes ahead and sits down. And there's one other chair in front of the desk. There are two strange metal sculptures on the top of this desk and then about 20 bookshelves suspended in the air, apparently by magical means, with tons of books in them

organized chromatically. So like all of the yellow books and then all of the red books and then all but they're just kind of like hovering there in on the ceiling there's no art on the walls there are no windows in this room i love magic yes so the thanatimancer sits down behind the desk and gestures at the one chair i do apologize there's but one place to sit i do not usually host in my office how do you usually recruit your assistants Oh, there are others who take care of details like that. Of course. I am chief to the operation of this facility.

Can I do either Arcana or History? Can I do a check to see if I know anything about Chavere? Yeah. Is this a god that I could have heard of? Roll religion for me? Oh, yeah, religion. Roll. Nine. Yeah, you don't know nothing.

Yeah. Can I roll as well? Yeah, of course you can. My religion's worse, but who knows? Nope. Great. Six. Yeah, you don't know nothing.

Red just walks around looking at the floating books. Yeah, yeah, I know what it feels like to be in charge. I run it in. A pretty popular one down the road, and I have done for, uh, for you. a few months now. Pretty tough. Not gonna lie.

How may I help you understand the process of thanatomancy and what questions do you have for me first? Then I will

inquire as to your specific talents and skills. Of course. Well first and foremost, are you gonna bring me back as a dwarf or am I going to come back as a gnome? Or a dragon. I mean,

oh, well, dragon would be pretty cool. But I think what I'm getting at is I want to stay me. Or can you bring him back as a dragon if he so chooses? Yeah,

because that would be pretty cool. Unfortunately, you are not able to change your form at will. We only bring you back to your rightful place among the living. Um, you'll have to forgive me. I'm coming from a place of,

almost complete ignorance about what fanatomancy actually isn't even is. We know that the result is bringing people back to life, but other than that, it is a bit of a mystery. Well, allow me to elucidate for you. When you engage in a contract with our facility, your material, the toes or fingers that you donate to the cause and pledge to the cause and pledge to the God are brought to the iron root and tended by the arcane horticulturalist. The iron root maintains the life essence that you have bequeathed to it for as long as we need. The duration of your contract. Then, should a claim be required to be fulfilled, your finger is plucked from the plant

and brought into the thanatarium for rejuvenation. Your body is regenerated from that finger, for example, as a seed, a scaffolding for your body plan. I perform a magical revolution of the soul, where I return you from the dark place and bring you back into your body. You are reconnected, as it were. And then, newly awakened, you are taken for exit interview with the horticulturalist before going back into the world. It is a very high honor for me to be a part of this.

Truly transcendent. Are you the only, Thunatomancer? I am, yes. It seems like such an honor to be blessed by the gods in this way. Well, as far as I know, Chavere is. is a minor deity, but I am honored to be his body in this world. So who chooses when you bring them back? Like, does it only happen when someone walks to the door and makes a claim?

Do you sense that they've died in the world? That is taken care of internally by my staff. Yes, you must submit a claim in order to. to be reincarnated. All right, so what's to stop you from bringing them back early? Let's say I cut off my pinky and I give it to you and then I go out in the world and you just decide to walk in there and bring me back. Can two of me exist in the world?

Oh, well, no. But two bodies of me can. It's a little bit more complicated than that. Right, right, right. But let's just say some wires get crossed. Let's say I walk in here and I say, my buddy Dorn is dead. I need him brought back so you do your business, but it's just a lot of you do your business, but it Turns out, dope, silly me, Doran's still out there, living a free life. What happens?

I assure you that would be most impossible. Impossible or implausible. The soul, the soul would not be in the dark place for me to shepherd into a new body. I would be unable to reach you. Isn't it possible that maybe a different soul from the dark place could go into my buddy Doran's body? Maybe like someone his shape and size. Another dwarf, don't worry, buddy. Being a dwarf. Unheard of.

Can I roll insight? Sure. Ooh. Three. What? The rules are not in my favor tonight. Seems like he's telling the truth. Yeah, I trust him implicitly.

All right, fair enough. You can trust him or distrust him as Red would do. Yeah. I mean, I don't get the sense that he's lying at all, so that's fair. And Red sort of turns to Temeel to like, are we bad coping this yet? Or should we keep playing the good cop in? I think information gathering is where we're at right now. Listen, I don't want to challenge you or doubt you, but what about that lady who's still missing her dead father?

Ha ha! I know there's a confidentiality thing, but surely there's a reason why he's not back. Maybe you could shed a little light. He sort of just blinks at you. I'm sorry. Who? Oh, Cordelia Frost. Well, she's out there right. She's out there right now claiming that her father who has been brought back two months ago,

even though he only died 10 day ago. Flaming red hair, green eyes. Strikingly beautiful. He gives you just kind of like a patient smile. We have many clients. If there's some kind of incident, I don't know anything about that. All right, listen here, spinach chin.

We have a laundry list of people who are ready to file a claim against this whole place. the frosts and many, many others. People who claim that you've been bringing them back early. People who say they've been bringing them back wrong. People who have a whole ton of claims. And we're here to bring you to Justin unless you play ball right now. Roll deception.

Happily. Do I get a bonus for spinach chin? No. Damn it. I didn't call him Dr. Strange. I really wanted to. I could see you holding that back. Oh, not bad.

21. Oh. I'm not unhappy with that. Okay. Roll intimidation. Oh, okay. Double roll. Can I carry it over?

I got to do new roll. Wow. Okay. Can I enhance my intimidation through some sort of physical gesture? A piece of paper? You just grab a piece of paper off his desk? A minor illusion of a signed bill by 20 people.

Feeling threatened? Just pull it out of your bag. If I'm intimidating him, I suppose I'm intimidating him with a civil injuneration. function against his business. You're threatening him with a lawsuit, basically, and you're saying, like, you represent a bunch of people. So we just determined that you're doing a good job of deceiving him that's the case. Right.

Now, with that being the case, I want you to roll intimidation to find out how effective that is. Yeah, that's fair. I'm just curious if I can, like, boost it. And I think, because I do, like, technically the Frost's, the Frost person is really upset. Precisely. So there is, like, validity behind it. Well, I mean, you said that there's, like, tons of people. and all that's called a class action.

That roll is not as good. And I got nothing I can boost it. Does anyone else have inspiration? Tamil starts every adventuring day with inspiration because that's the new 5.5 human thing. And the new 5.5 inspiration thing is that you get to choose to use it after you roll. Yeah, I will 100% donate this,

an inspiration to Red so he can rerol this intimidation check. Because that first one was only 11, so. Okay. Here we go. This one's for Nick. Oh, that's not bad. That's 19. Okay.

Very nice. Good decision. He looks genuinely upset. Listen, I do good work here. People pay me for a service and I provide that service. I channeled divine power and I think what I do is just and right. Right. And if there are people who have issue with this industry, with my powers, with the business that we do here, well, then I suppose, yes, they should bring their complaints forward. But I will hear their challenge.

Well, in here we are challenging you. We're acting on behalf of them. And what we're saying is you better play ball. And playing ball in this case is walking us through your process. So we're. We can ensure that none of this tomfoolery is happening. Look, look, look. I believe you. We believe you. But we have an obligation to the people that we are representing to make sure we have our eyes and ensure that their fingers are being kept in a properly contained area and that their bodies

are being protected. They just want peace of mind. They just want some closure. They just want to know that what they're paying for exists. And you can give them that by acting. through us as representatives of their claim. He stands up and talks in his chair and turns his back to you and just looking at like blank-ass gray stone wall for a second.

Tamil kind of looks over at red with a, I think that they have lied enough together that he might recognize like a setup and she'll say, I think we need to come clean about the rumors. And then she'll look back at Finian and she'll say, there is question about whether or not the orb has been corrupted, whether or not you are truly acting on the wishes of the divine or some other malevolent force, which seeks to enact some nefarious plan to which we have no insight.

Malevolent? Yeah, spinach chin. And you see him nodding to himself, and then he turns back to face the four of you. Well, maybe you're right. I have been operating without really any level of oversight for almost 10 years. And for what I know, I have been doing good. But if there are plaintiffs and if you are host of concern, then yes, the least I can do is

see this through and show to you that everything we do here is for the honor of Chavir and at the request of those participants. Help us help you, Finney. Help us help you. He reaches across the table and offers his hand to shake. Temeel will shake his hand. I need a second. And he grabs Red's shoulders and Temeel's shoulders and he brings women to all of them.

Oh, yeah. I just got an idea. of how we can test this. We can do this over Rarys also, just so you know. Just so we're not whispering. No, we do it old school style. Don't worry about it.

He's like... A full five feet away from the guy. It's kind of near this way. Did you want me to give you the room? No, no, we'll just be quietly. It's okay. Okay, I'll be over here. Listen, I'm sure they've got a roof on this building.

Yeah? If we really want to test it, should we? There's no way I would survive a fall like that. Let's call that plan B. Red looks at a meal with like wide terrified eyes. Whim looks at you, Doran, and she nods. I mean, from a second school.

She like goes over and she starts palpating your neck and your cheeks, like seeing how hearty you are. Yeah, yeah, let's keep it in a deep, deep back pocket. The pocket we never look at. Grab's red's bow or red, you could just fire one of these through my eye. Back pocket, deep back pocket, but I like it. Always have an outs. I love that. Red stands up and turns to me on and says,

see, there's ha-ha-stupid and this stupid. I'm the ha-ha-stupid. There is a difference. I can't even process this right now. So, yes, deep back-pocket, ha-ha-stupid. Let's go back to talking with this gentleman who is very clearly devoted to some sort of cause, which does not seem malevolent.

Not malevolent. I keep saying that word now. Malvelet? Now he seems like he's being duped as well. Look, anything that's happening that's wrong here seems to be, he seems to be part of the victims, if that makes sense. It does, and I'm now beginning to wonder what the role of this horticulturalist is, so perhaps we can steer conversations in that direction as well.

Agreed. A tree that stores life force, bits of souls. That seems interesting, at least. I really want to make a bow out of it. But see, that's ha-ha stupid. I wouldn't do it. Well. Unless, you know, let's not rule anything.

I mean, based on those tapestries you saw, there was like an original source for the wood that, you know, like a cutting was taken and then, hmm. Maybe I am, stupid, stupid. Anyway, spinach chin. Look, we're all on the same page. We have to check if the orb is corrupted. Give us a tour of this place. Let us meet the horticulturalist. And let's lay it all on the table.

we we don't want to drag you any further down. We just want to do what's best and get everything out in the open. You know, you could call us your regulator. This way, you know, it's all going to plan. Ha, ha, ha, I think we've got something here. Oversight. Dorn really read that brochure. Yes, let us perform accreditation.

Accreditation. Accreditation. Yeah. You know, I can't help but feel like reading the names of the Patreon supporters is becoming longer than the episodes themselves. So I'm gonna try something a little different here and use some magic. We would like to thank our Patreon supporters. Lita J. Christopher, Colin Burckhardt, Merlin, Adam Frey, J.D., Liz, Merrick's Moon, Ruthan Reed, Trinit, Lorelai Feldman, Scotty, Haley, Kass, Nicky, Brooke Bendinelli, Nerd Ferry, Luna Demaria,

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