Dice Shame - 3-6 | 'Plant Ones Feet'

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

An attempt to find answers uncovers some new information...______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their friend Nic as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobia Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Don't try to win me over with any of these horny cultists. Give me my nuts back if you're not going to eat the bees nuts. I don't know why you'd put that on a cross stitch. This is just for my own protection. We also brought renowned arborist Doran iron fist. Is that an orchid mix? Now enough fooling around and... What's their thoughts saying to me?

Terribly unimpressed with both Doran and myself. Are there any abnormalities I should know about it? Welcome back to Dyshame. This is season three episode six, Plant One's Feet. MVP this week is Sophia Velasco, who just joined the Discord and is giving Disham a chance. They join the recent listen, and I think so far they're liking it, although I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch. Thanks, Sophia. Thank you, Sophia. You're this week's MVP. All right, should we play some D&D?

Yeah, let's do it. Wahoo! Woo! I got that thing. Were you like a little stuffed up? And it's like your nose is running like a little bit. The worst. But like you can't, why would you blow your nose?

It's not even that bad. But then it's like, my nose is kind of running a little bit. Yeah, you're in that in between. You don't want to commit to a wipe. Are you? I might though. How loud are your nose blows? Like, are you guys honkers?

Yeah, let's hear it. It's a great intro. How loud is your nose blows? Oh, you have a real dainty nose blow. Okay. That's how I do it. on hold on that's a performative nose no i'm just teasing but that is that is that's not how she does it normally here's the gross thing that i do though after a nose blow i do know i'm making drill

with my tissue and i go right in there i don't think that's gross i think that's smart hold on she's not done i do it like that and then what and then i put it on the table and i leave it i guess who guess who sometimes is the one who cleans up and will pick up the tissues and go oh the amount of direct tissues that have been in the contact of the inside of her nose that I have touched in my life are plentiful so no it is gross I have a dainty nose blow and a gross habit of leaving my tissues and I you know what I don't call you on much but you actually do leave those out quite a bit I saw one the other day get her babe no but I would also say your nose blow is under circumstance that are not you're not sick because I've heard you equally we talked to about this is another intro where I was like sick sick and you were like I was blowing my nose comically loud cutting up your dialogue oh that's right normally blow my nose yeah but we did talk about when you are sick sick yeah you blow your nose rough as well but it's always pretty

cute jall when you when you go you blow your nose and then do you look at what's in the tissue always yeah you got to know well I did I tear the tissue like 90% of time. You tear the tissue. Yeah. Out of anger? Like, and then you tear it?

No, no. No, like my nostrils are so powerful. There's like, oh, your nostrils are so powerful. You got powerful nostrils. It's very masculine. Blowing holes in your tissues. It wasn't meant to be masculine. You should double up, though.

The problems are strong nostril. When you guys blow hard and you look, is it always like still clean tissue? Maybe I'm just buying really cheap tissues. Because most of the time they're like. I never blow a hole to my tissue. It's ripping. I feel like I don't rip. Are you getting them single ply tissues?

No, it's the good stuff. Yeah. What are you blowing into them? Two ply. You did say you're blowing your nose, right? Did you say loads? Yeah. My loads.

Blowing loads. A boogers. So powerful. So powerful that you blow a whole. Bam! There's like falling feathers from the ceiling level of... Yeah, 60 kilometers an hour. Which is something I miss, I will say.

So, Nick, are you like a loud nose blower? Oh my God, I'm a honker. I like, I'm I don't know how to not make a lot of noise when blowing nose. Is that so many people worry about? I don't know.

I listen. Mom, if you're listening, how dare you? But no, I was raised, I was raised with an idea. I'm, you know, the daughter of an immigrant and like you know, femininity was always kind of a thing. And loud

nose blowing doesn't really fall into the ladylike category. Whoa. Yeah, I mean, that's fucked. And I get where you're coming from, though. It's so interesting, the number of those things that's like, like, hat at the table, right? Like the other day we were out and Henry had his hat on. And I was like, I fought the impulse to be like, take off your hat. Because I questioned it for a second. Wait, why? What do I care? What does it matter if he wears a fucking hat? And I didn't. And I realized after the dinner, like, right, nothing changed. It's like this. weird perceived slight of like somehow a hat is like offensive and there's so many of these things we've just adopted without really being like, wait, that's not a thing and that doesn't

really matter and none of that is like disrespectful. I do like where does that come from? Like, like is it the military practice or yeah, or religious practice? Like military, US military you can't wear your, when you're in your dress, you know, where you have to take your like whatever head covering you have off. But then also. And then in church I assume, right? I don't go. I don't know, I don't know. You probably take a hat off in church. I think it depends on the religion. But I can't.

It's also gendered too, though, I believe, because a lot of women wear, like, bonnets and summer hats and stuff. It's just stupid. Like, you know, is it possible? It's just polite. But what's rude about it? But what's rude about it? Well, that's the argument.

What's polite about it? Well, I don't know. You're kind of sitting at the table. You look like you're getting up. I would probably say the same thing about someone sitting down having dinner wearing their winter jacket. I'm like, why are you wearing that inside? Like, nah.

Okay. So it's like an indication of like lack of engagement or something? Maybe. Well, what about chewing with your mouth wide open? Does that bother anybody or? No. Also one of those stupid things. To me, I don't want to see somebody to chew.

That does bother me a little bit. Well, to me, or elbows on the table? Elbows on the table I don't give a shit about it. Like that was another one. Okay, well, I'll ask you this. Does it matter who's wearing the hat? No. Like if you have someone that comes in, they're like, cowboys sitting?

Sitting down next to you gruff and then... Hitler comes in. He's wearing a hat. Do you say something? Wait, hold on. If someone gruff comes in with a hat, I'm trying to think of an example, but like, if he might fight you?

Someone comes in from working out of the yard. I don't know. No, and here's where I'm with you, Alex. I agree that like my reaction was, take off your hat, Henry, it's rude. Like that was my feeling. The part, the difference was when I felt that, I went, why? Why do I feel that? And I recognized the only reason I believed it was impolite was

because I was taught it was in polite. Not because of any other reason. And the minute I questioned, okay, hold on, am I just doing this because it's something that I've been brought up with and I've been told is impolite? Or am I doing this because it's actually something that I believe has validity was when I stopped and went, okay, I'm not going to ask him to take his hat. And that's all I'm saying, because I'm with you. I agree. It does feel impolite. But when I analyze it, I'm like, why? Do you think it's like a holdover from when, like, dudes just wore hats as part of everyday atta?

Like, if you were outside, you were wearing a hat. And so it's like what Alex was saying with the like, the winter coat, it's just an outside thing. And when you're inside, you're supposed to do inside things. Probably. It's also probably like a breakdown of like, yeah, generational trauma where like, you know, men came home and angry at their day and were like, where's my dinner? And the only way the wife could be like, take off your hat.

I think also there's like a little bit of a logical aspect to it because when you're looking down at your plate and you're wearing a hat, you can't see somebody's face. And it is harder to have a conversation with somebody if you can't see their face maybe. Yeah. It's like a sign of. What are we playing poker here? Well, what I mean. It's just like. Nobody look at what me.

You know, like, hey kids, how's your day? and you look over at them and you can't see their faces. I would say, I would go back to what Nick was saying in, like, engagement. If my kids walk in, they're like, kind of like, yeah, and they're not, you know, it would probably be probably be wearing the hat and not washing their hands.

They're like, go take your hat off. Go wash your hands. Hold on. Where's the connection to be the hands? Well, I'm talking about stuff that you do that you do. I'm just saying like kids. Yeah, yeah.

Here's what you should do, Alex. You should sit down at your dinner table with a hat on and see what happens. Oh. See first off if your kids say anything And second off if if the vibe changes But it can't be a weird hat It has to be like a normal hat that you would wear Yeah

But here's the thing I sit down on the table I take my hat off I wear a baseball cap sometimes I just sit down on the table I'm like why am I wearing a baseball cap inside It's not sunny Hmm true Maybe it's just the logic about it

Yeah but like well for in our case and point Like we were on the cruise ship, right? So like sometimes you're on the top deck. You're wearing the hat. You come inside. You're in the dining room. It was like one of those things. And literally in this case, like you leave the room.

You have your hat on. We're having dining room and then we're going to go out of the ship. Right. Like, and my impulse was like, oh, well, we're in the dining room right now. Take your hat off and sit on it before we go. But again, I was like, who cares? So maybe in my circumstance, especially, it was like, well, I know he's got the hat because we left our hotel room and we're going to be going outside right after this. Maybe in a dining room.

I suppose that makes sense. Like there's no sun in here. I was in a lab at school practicing some microscopy with some of my friends. Was it a hat lab? Well, so I was wearing a toque because it was wintertime. Right. And I just hadn't taken it off. And I was asked by one of my professors to take my took my took off in the lab, which I thought was really weird.

Yeah. It keeps your hair back. If anything, it feels like more of, I mean, I guess it depends. If you're working with. So what if you didn't shower that day? You're like, your hair's greasy and you're subconscious. One of my friends is Muslim

and she was wearing a head covering, obviously. She wasn't asked to remove her. Did you point her out? She doesn't have to. They love that. But I did, obviously, because of being. Did you pretend to make a fake religion

and then do a whole? There's many plots like that. I follow beanism. Yeah. That's weird. They didn't explain why. Sounds like an asshole. I can understand a little bit of like, oh, you might, you know, contaminate something, but I wasn't

even doing a wet lab. I was just looking at slides. You know what I mean? It's weird. Control. Control. I think it is a little bit. And I think that's part of the reason why you are sort of examining your habit around asking our kids

to take their hats off. Yeah. Because you're like, just because I'm the parent and I have the power in this dynamic doesn't mean I shouldn't examine the habitual control of the situation. It's true. I often find myself. checking myself over whether I'm controlling the kids because I want control or because I think it's what's best or whatever. And scarily, sadly, yeah, there's many times I find myself being like,

why am I making up stupid rule? Like, I don't, that's not a thing I need to worry about. I'm just doing it to exert control. Speaking of making up stupid rules. And control? And control. Bogtime. You get to be the parent in Dysh. Good segue. Yeah, I saw that segue and I just had to jump on it. Hell yeah. It was really good. All right. Shall we? Yeah, let's do. I'll want to place.

All right. Okay. I think I can manage that. Dungeons and dragons. Inside of the Chavere Horticultural Society in Service of Resurrection and Immortality, our heroes have just finished convincing, ostensibly, the Iron Root Thanatomancer, that they are here for legitimate. reasons.

We're the most legitimate in all the world, Red says, reiterating nothing to the man. Red hands the bag of mixed nuts that he's been eating from to Doran. No. There's not left. Fred, I left you all the little

bees nuts. The bees nuts. Bees nuts. The bees nuts. They're your favorite, right, Doran? Oh, yeah. I'm not sure where we're going with this, sir. Yes, and where's the next part?

What is the goal here? We tried a couple of different approaches. We're trying to figure out if the people being resurrected by the service are actually coming back. There's like some funny business. Like when we looked at the tapestries that was kind of depicting the how Fed and Adamancer got to where he is. There were a couple things. There was an orb and there was one. There was like a picture of a desecrated gravesite.

and it seems like the orb was stolen from that, which is a little, I don't know, why you'd put that on a cross-stitch, but here we are. Additionally, there was a tree that I thought would be fun to make a bow out of if we could find it. Sure.

Alrighty, thank you all. I remember now. Okay. Now, get me my nuts back. If you're not going to eat the bees' nuts, I'll give them to a meal. Oh, honey roasted. They were.

They were. I had to suck off all the chocolate, but the honey was underneath. Amazing. Classic bit. Classic. All right. Well, if you will follow me,

I can take you through to see the iron root, if that is of interest. Absolutely. Yeah, please. Let's do all that. And red will cast Detect Magic. Okay. What does it look like when you do that?

He holds his hand out and snaps his fingers and clears his throat. And with a... wash of energy, detect magic gets activated. I'll keep an eye out to make sure everything here is above board. Yes, of course. I suppose this is just part of your standard procedure when you are investigating different facilities.

Of course. You'd be surprised at how much conjuration magic tries to hide the dense and dings and leaks. You know, and we're inspecting to make sure a place is safe and above board, people can use a lot of tricky ways to cover their mistakes. Well, as far as I know, you'll find no such trickery here. Is there anything in particular you'd like to see? I don't mean to automatically suggest your course of interest.

The iron root tree would be of interest. Also, it would be, I think, helpful to meet the horticulturalist. Nix was the name, you said? Yes, that's right. Well, we can see if they're in the office. Please, come with me. Perfect, perfect. Yes, that tree sounds great. We have an official arborist with us. This year, Doran Ironfish spent 200 years around the trees of the north. He'll know your tree from any other fake you try to put in front of us. Right, Doran? That's right. And don't try to win me over with any of these horny cultists. He looks you up and down, Doran.

Yes, I can see he is very... He's a druid. I'm a tree guy. Just take my word for it. Right this way. It's like a giant axe on his back. Stones are part of trees, right? Yeah, you know.

Classic druid shit. Yeah, Doron's where he catches the eyes of the guy looking at his axe. He says, this way they stay in line and listen to me. Wait, I said the trees. The trees red. Oh, right. Tamil is desperate to change the subject. How did you meet Nix?

I haven't met Nix. How was it that you came to work together? Actually, there's a series of tapestries detailing our meeting. Perhaps you saw them in the lobby. They're quite beautiful, if you have any time at all. We did see them, and they are beautiful. You'll have to forgive me. I have a condition where I...

can't interpret symbolism and still images. She left a glasses at home, that's why. That's terrible. I'm an auditory learner. It's easier when things are explained to me. I'm not a visual learner. He nods and sort of gestures to his open office door. Yes, I'll happily tell you the story.

It is a pleasant memory of mine. And as we leave the office, Red, you see that obviously the bookshelves that are floating are, like, coated in magic. Some of the instruments on his desk are magical, et cetera. I don't know how in-depth you want me to. Just anything that, like, you know, strikes out as odd. Yeah. Any, like, door-shaped magic things on the wall that don't seem to be doors. Sure, sure, sure.

Like any squeak rits. Yeah, squeak rits or squeak smells. Wait, does Detect Magic give you schools? It does, yeah. Any necromanic, yeah, anything that's like oozing necromancy would be interesting. Sure, sure, I'll let you know if there's like dark energies. This talking skull is oozing necrimency. It's oozing.

Yeah, and I think Red hangs back with Doran just to leave last. And he just says, aren't you getting a weird sense here? Like this whole place seems very like, cult-like, like you said. Hmm. Yeah, Duran sort of looks around touching the wall. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I don't know. Culty. Like, think about it. They take money, and they promise to bring you back from the dead. I mean, we've dealt with things like this before. This kind of just feels like it's got a different coat of paint on it, like a fancier coat of paint. You know?

If we found this place in the middle of the woods and it was promising, bring you back from the dead, we'd burn this place to the ground. Well, I mean, maybe. But then again, that guy seems like, I don't know, he seems to believe in himself. He seems almost like maybe he thinks he's doing a good job. Okay, maybe, but are you telling me there's a chance that this is real? Well, I mean, you've seen people come back to life before. I'm sure they can do it.

I understand what you're saying, Red. I guess I'm just still keeping my eyes open for that, that, that, That catch, you know? All right. Well, don't go drinking the Kool-Aid on me, because you left Troll Skull all fired up that this was bullshit, and 10 minutes ago you were standing in that lobby ready to sign yourself off. No, I am, but now I'm also an arborist, Red.

And he kind of pulls out a pen from his pocket and licks it, and pulls out his notebook and start jotting things down. There's a B, it's not a D. It's a, that's a D note, and there's a, yeah, two hours. Listen, I can spell arborist. It's just going to take me a while. I like to make notes scratch notes. It's just to make me a memory for later.

Yeah, I'll cover you out. You know what, I'll help. And Red takes some dirt from his bag and, like, puts it on your shoulders. Druids are very messy, so, all right. Let's sell him on the druidness of you. Well, can't I just be. Did you say he takes dirt from his bag? Yeah, my bag.

Great's bag of holding has everything. Just handfuls of dirt. Yeah. I have it here next to the potting soil. I have sand, cobblestone, glass. I've got an orchid mix. My just-in-case dirt. Dirt.

Dorn's like brushing his shoulders. Can't I just be a dwarf that inspects trees? Yeah, but hey, all I'm saying is, you know, it's about the backstory. That's the fun part, you know? You've got to invent a little backstory when you play a game. Oh, of course. That's what I do. I totally understand.

Today I'm Richard Dreyfus. Meanwhile, Finian has been chatting up Temeel and Wim as we're sort of up ahead walking down the corridor. Well, I was born in Parnast, was a novice mage for some time there, when I was asked to travel to the lonely moors at the behest of my master to retrieve some spell components, you see. He was very particular, but having the freshest ingredients, very important for different spells and as such. Are you a magic user?

Yes, but nothing like nature magic, which I have always found very impressive and have had an interest in, but no talent. I see, yes. Well, when I was on the Moors alone, I had a series of visions where I was contacted by the deity, Chavere.

I remember it so, Clearly, the feeling of warmth as it entered my body and my bones, the god of the travel between life and death. Shaver instructed me in these visions where I could find Nix, the orb, and how to obtain a cutting. He sort of makes a yawning. So, this tree, are there any abnormalities I should know about it? Hey, Nifrinian? You'll really have to put those kinds of questions to Nix, I'm afraid. I'm really more of the second half of the equation, as it were.

Hmm. Okay. Nix will help you with any of those things you need. and here we are. He stands in front of a closed door in the hallway. Do you have any questions for me before we enter? When's your birthday? Last week, actually.

Happy belated birthday. Thank you. Thank you very much. I have been considering... And he looks down at his hands. It may be time. Oh, don't do it. It's a scam. I mean... Don't do it so hastily.

Obviously losing a finger would be a lot. The process works by halting the body's age at the time that the cutting is taken. Aging further before participating would be unwise. You never know when illness can take hold. It's true. What happens to your memories? Well, again, that is a matter for the horticulturalist, but we do have to conduct assistance for that part, yes.

There is some measure of memory loss. Please. And he knocks on the door. You hear after a moment a muffled... Come in. And he opens the door. To reveal a very different room to the Thanatamanser's office. The Thanatomancer's office, if you recall, very austere, very few pieces of furniture, kind of like modernist vibes.

This is a large cluttered room. Its ceiling is graceful lines and painted in interlocking green and gold arcs. There's plant life of all kinds here, just like vines trailing down the walls and plants and pots in the floors. The floor is carpeted in layers of rugs. And there are just cushions on the ground, some low side tables, but no like desk, no chairs, just like kind of, kind of a hangout on the ground sort of space. It smells strange in here, like like an herby, like earthy smell. And there are skylights cut into the room. So there's like light coming. down from the ceiling. And reclining amid the pillows, there's a human with auburn hair pulled back

into a bun dressed in practical, casual clothes, not like the dress robes that the thanatomancer is wearing. And they're reading a book. Ambiguous gender, ambiguous age, but like overall, kind of a pleasant face. And they look up at you as you enter the room. Good morning. Oh, Oh, yes, Nix. I'm so sorry to disturb you. We have visitors, guests, I suppose. Would you care to introduce yourselves? Auditors.

My name is Red. This is my best friend, Temeel, and my best friend Dorn and my best friend Wim. We're here on behalf of some of your clientele to poke around, investigate, and make sure everything here is on the up and up. And I hate this room. A private agency? Something like that, yes. Make a deception check.

Sure. Although, technically, we did offer to help a woman. So there's an element of truth behind this because she did ask us to look into her father. So I'm not lying when I say that we're here to find the cracks on behalf of a party. That's fair. Why don't you roll with advantage? Sure.

You've got some trappings of truth. Yeah, like, it's funny because when you said role deception, I was like, did I lie? Because I was actually thinking of that woman when I said it. Ah, I get this. I rolled a natural one and a 19. Nice. What's the total? 22, I believe my deception is three.

Yeah, 22. Nix sort of sets the book down, like, splayed open to mark their page and gives the four of you their full attention. How may I assist you? we would like to understand the details of your operation a bit more. One of our clients claims that when she came to exercise the policy of her father, she was told he was already resurrected, that it had already been used. We're trying to understand how that could have happened. Their eyebrows shoot up.

A strange assertion. I've never heard of anything like that, but then again, I don't really. really handle customer service, if you will. I am happy to deliver some education if that is what you like. That would be most helpful, primarily understanding the division of labor between the two of you especially. Of course, it's quite simple. Biological material is delivered to me. I introduce it to the iron root tree.

and maintain the tree. And I also assist with retrieving the biological material from the tree and recreating of the body scaffolding. Afterwards, when the soul has returned to the body, I then assist in reintroducing the person back to their lives. Very simple, really. And what is it that you do, pointing at Finian? Ah, yes, well, I take care of the arcane aspect.

When the body is ready for the soul, I complete the ritual, where I direct the flow of the soul. I channel Chavere's divine presence and guide the soul, back into the body. It is taxing. Can I do an insight check on Nix broadly, just to understand if it feels like they are hiding anything? Absolutely. Yeah. 24.

Yeah, it seems like they are definitely giving you like a very broad summary and omitting like quite a lot of details. But with the intention of... There's an element of deception happening here. It's not just summarizing for the layperson. There's some aspect of like, okay, but that doesn't make sense, I guess. Yeah. Over the telepathic bond, Tamil will just say, he's signing something. But that's probably obvious.

We also brought renowned arborist worldwide acclaimed. Doran Iron Fist to inspect the tree. That's right. Doran. That's why I'm here. I'm the albatross. Now, show me the tree. Put your axe away, Doran.

Oh. I love the idea that Doran's, like, ready to cut it down. This is just for my own protection. We've inspected a few trees that have attacked back. You never really know. No. Remember that one that threw apples at you, Doran? Cravy tree.

Hey, crab apples. Good one. All right. I want a fresh deception check for the Doran Arborist lie. Totally legit. Either red or Doran. Or you know what? Let's do a group check for both of you.

Both of you roll. Hold on. Alex rolled something. Average it out. I guess I was one that said it, though. Yeah, but then he reaffirmed the lie. True. Why don't you both roll deception and we'll see how that goes.

I rolled and 21. Okay. You're lying like a pro. I rolled. I have a minus one for charisma. So I rolled a zero. A big critical fail. Critical fail.

I think Alex acting Doran as saying I'm the albatross was actually him acting through that not one deception. Nick's nods and. stands up from the reclining pile of pillows nearby and sort of readjusts their, like, tunic. To the tree. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Take it to the tree. Mm-hmm. All right, I will. Good. Okay. Good. Yep. Mm-hmm.

You will? Mm-hmm. Here we go. In a moment. I'm a hippie. They turn around and, uh, there's like a little, like, teapot. on a low table off to the side, and they, like, pour themselves, like, a to-go mug of tea.

Yeesh. The person's waiting for us to let them make a cup of tea? And, like, puts a thing of sugar in it. What's their thoughts saying, Tamil? Yeah, I'll cast, uh, detect thoughts on our friend, Nick's. Uh, just surface to start. So no, no deep intrusion. Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea.

He's just like, teeny-tie. It's probably like, I'm still fucking high right now. I don't know. This guy just said an arborist. Albatross. How is he an albatross? I don't understand. What did you roll?

There's no roll. So it's just the first. Oh, right. For detect thoughts. You think that I would know. I was also waiting for a role. This is one of those things where it's like the surface level thoughts. Yeah.

It's just super general. It's only when I push further. And that's also when he might become. I'm aware. You ascertain that the surface level thoughts are, yes, partly about the tea that they are making, but additionally, that Doran must be the worst arborist that they have ever seen. So you sort of get that they've, like, bought the lie, but that they think very poorly of Doran. You, like, look over and Doran's, like, picking his nose and his pants are falling.

and he's like hiking them up and like scratching his butt crack. There's like there's like some really. It's a rennin stimpy shot. Yeah. Ew. Gross. There's some like very bitchy thoughts about. Sure.

Doran's like general composure and how he's got like no like botany tools on him and like just yeah. Just an ass. Just being real really highly critical. Timil will ask next. That smells lovely. What sort of tea is that? While also still listening to the thoughts to see if there's anything specifically. about the tea.

This is a personal tincture. The additional thoughts are like, turn to you about how, like, nosy you must be. What are they thinking? Over the telepathic bond. Terribly unimpressed with both Doran and myself. But nothing obviously nefarious.

Ah, they do buy them. They buy them, though. Ah? I think Doran's face is a little reactive, and then he's like, The dead help, Doran. Now, enough fooling. around and let's see that tree.

I am so incredibly skilled as an arbitrator that I can visualize the tree and tell you exactly what might be wrong with it or if it's in excellent health because that's my background. Yeah, I don't know where you get off wasting our time like this. We're busy people. We got Jed's body Emporium down the street to investigate and Chris's legs after. Finian sort of like does like a light bow and says

No if you don't mind I do have some other work to attend to Nix if you need anything Please do send them back to me Finian like turns around in a swoosh of cloaks And and like walks down the hall All cool looking Bye

All right I'm getting a bad feeling about this Knicks Red says over the ovaries And he says, Let's play this real cool. But if things go south, chop that fucking like a tree, Doren. But I love trees. He just whispers on the door. He's gone too deep undercover.

He's gone. He's gone maddened. But I love trees. Just how loud. He's just repeating in his head. I love trees. I love trees. But it's not.

What was that? Oh, he just loves trees. Take us to the fucking tree. We've been standing here for three minutes. I'm getting impatient now. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I was on a time limit here. You are.

You work for the people paying you, you jackass, standing there brewing tea. You were lying on pillows when we walked in for fuck's sake. How I spend my morning is of little concern. Except it is concern for the people who are paying us to be here to check out the validity of your whole operation, which right now is not only looking pretty fucking suspect, but is looking like the people running it are lying down on the fucking job instead of proving that the people paying them are worthy of taking their money. I will assist you at my leisure and no one else's.

You got another thing coming, buddy. I think you misunderstand how this is working. We are auditing you. You better hurry the fuck up right now. If you would like, you can come back another day when I am more inclined to assist you. Doren, go find that tree. Uh, now listen here, Nix. Uh, Doren is sort of his head's going back and forth if you're red and Nick.

Yeah, we're staying there for human. We have a job to do, and I need to inspect that tree. Otherwise, you know, I've got regulation crawling up my butt, and they can't just leave me alone until I get back to them with this report. And he looks down into his journal, and there's like scribbles of fake notes. If I don't complete this report, I'm not going to, I'm never going to be able to feed my wife and kids again. And as Red standing, they're like panting, angry over ovaries to Tamil very calmly. He's just like, hey, get anything now?

Now that he's on edge. There is like a background thrum underneath like the very surface level thought, which is basically like fuck this guy and fuck her and fuck him and I don't want to do any of this. And I should have them kicked out. a little thread of panic starting to creep in. You know, I can't help but feel like reading the names of the Patreon supporters is becoming longer than the episodes themselves. So I'm going to try something a little different here and use some magic.

We would like to thank our Patreon supporters. Lita J. Christopher. Colin Burckhardt, Merlin, Ferry, J.D., Liz, Merrick's Moon, Rutherlandaleigh Feltman, Scotty, Haley, Cahley, Caheyle-N-Dor-N-A-N-A-N-D-Refian, NERA-D, NERA, MISRA, N-N-A-MISR-N-ROW-W-W-C-WOL, MAD, MIR-E, VAL-C-E, Gareth Bradshaw, Absolute O'Celly Behavior, Manderpans,

Melinda Curley, Bird, A.K.T. Trashp. Luke. Oakland. H.D. Amai. Shadow O'Haven. Zill Street. Axel. Izzy. Reb. Reb. Roes of Natschee. Nick D. Minty. Aaron. Fely. Caryl.

Keeleigh. Gaw. Beane. Sparks. D. Marimaux. Noc. Natsh.

Dead Petals. Hidris. Heshear Neumann. R. R. R. Cely Cyt. Cite.

Ron Hain. Rane Glesby. Rane Glesby. Randy. M. Trinity. Veritas. Cara. James McGinley Joshua C. Galusha. Tell. Tally isn't fair. Buzing Star O3. Snick Snick. Chick-Sk. Chiquette.

Nucca Frisketo. Dandelion. Abigail Rosie Marino. Morgan King. Frosty TomiGurice. Pryry. Wingshurt. Fox is Tired. Alasasdice.

Dachry 1-1-1. The one and only Namke. Labettee. Mademoiselle Salaamara. Saratowne. Amanda. Brayden. Kee Raven.

Natsnix. J. Farrington Sweeney. Shanna Stichler. Cater Roane. Rack. Burrard In the Archives. Carrot Cup Jace, Cian Watkins, Otter Biscuits, Ace, Creature Feature Featured, Declayette,

Decoe Lowe's Hair, Jane, N'Annaz, Lynn, Red Wing Rhinx, Lin, Rhinna, Oliver Corbius, That Drumbot Person, Breyer von Roeufus, Baxter, Baxter, Beemboe-Gov-Gee-Boys, Cajor, Milo, Sonskahooney, Don't Patrick Loozme, Mitch, Nat, Jeruski-Septi, Mildly Chaotic, Valentine May, and Loma, Crafty Plans, Just a bunch of rats, Pred Jinji, Gorgie, Worme Priest, Bronwyn Moore, Ravicle Raven, Lina, Sunflower, Librarian, Daenerg, Sunflower, Robin, Connor DeVille, Denon Hexa, Jules, Robin, Tony, Joel Lyft, Benny, Burger Valentine's,

Dan Melchimer, ERA, Indiana, Lunarca, possibly Eden. Oh my goodness, I don't know if I could have done it much faster than that, so I'm gonna go lie down. We'll see you next episode. Bye bye.