Dice Shame - 36 | 'Clean House'

Episode Date: June 18, 2020

The party finishes up their drunken midnight adventure and looks to tomorrow... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Looks like the devil. This is the most excited that Kralov's been in this thing. Jack's going to tear this creature's soul apart, tolling the dead. Do devils even have souls? Maybe you're actually healing it. Zulkin's going to slash at the creature with his scimitar. Go Zulkin. Way to go, Zulkin.

Shut up, Zulkin. It sounds like a natured cleric might be a move for you. How can you just push a statue over? That's so rude. All right, we got it surrounded, guys. We can do it. And I point my axe, and I say, I'm going to take you down if I have to do it limb by limb. Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is episode 36, Clean House. MVP this week is Six Renn, who left us a glowing review on iTunes. Thanks so much. We aim to please. If you're in the

market for a new set of gorgeous dice, and let's be honest, who isn't, do yourself a favor and check out bar dice inspiration on Instagram and Etsy. She sells gorgeous handmade resin dice that sparkle and shine. I love the blood set. They look like pomegranate seeds. All right. Should we get down to business? Let's rock.

I think Rob is keeping the most comprehensive list of all of like the side quests and the subpluss. Hold on. I got a list. to things too. I got dwarven beard. I got half human skull. These are things I want to follow up on. Yeah. And don't forget, we've got scones cooking upstairs and... Yes, yes. I mean, it took 30 some odd, long episodes, but we finally found our way to the main plot point, which is building up our base. Yeah. Yeah. North of Belyard. I need to go to a furniture store and I need to get new furniture for this place. It's pretty exciting. That side quest about...

The Giants is on break. Don't you love movie montages? Some of my favorite things are like, you know, in Robin Hood when they're melting the steel and making the arrowheads or like fixing up something. I always love a movie where they're like fixing up a house or something like that. So funny because we were watching dances with wolves and when Kevin Costner's character gets back to the base and it's all fucked up, I turned to Harlan and I was like, oh my God, is it going to be like getting this place back in shape montage?

I love those. So good, dragging the dead carcasses from the water well. Sewing like a... Starting fresh. Those are the best parts of the movie that sort of let you're 70% in, you're about to turn, everything's looking good. You haven't got to the big twist that's going to make everything shit again for a little while to get to the climax. So you're just like fucking riding high in that moment. That's a good one.

I just want the movie to be that and end there. Honestly, not opposed to that. It's why I like all the songs that end the first act in a musical, best song. You could just end on the big, belty out, fuck yeah, we kicked out. and we're about to end. All right, I don't need more. That's it. We don't need conflict.

Not to mention, it really makes up for, you know, you're sitting at home with a million things to do and now this person is checking off their list. It gives you that dopamine rush. Like, wow.

They just did all of that. And now I don't have, I don't have to think about doing what I need to do. And they didn't in so little time too. Yeah. And they look good doing it. But even in Lord of the Rings, when the orks are making all their armor and shit,

you know, they're pouring all those molds and like pulling it and like piling on the big pile of orkish weapons. I think it speaks back to our lizard brain where we just like to know that there's a lot of food in the fridge and that there's like a lot of, you know, clean clothes in our drawers and stuff where you're like, yeah, they're getting ready. I don't know.

I think Alex nailed it. I think it's the dopamine rush of having checked something off your list without ever having to get off the couch. I love that as an explanation for thinking of Kralath, who for maybe things were scarce for a lot of his life. And now it's like, oh, food, there's a lot of it. Oh, there's this. there's a lot of, I would like to hold on to those things.

Yeah, yeah. I think it's an interesting level. It also makes it sense why he's so afraid of it, too, losing. Yeah, yeah. It may seem like a tone switch for him to be all serious and then all about talking about scones. But really, I mean, scones are serious for Kralath. He's like, all right, we got to kill these demon imps

and we got to bake some scones, y'all. Baking is a trauma response for him. This is very important. But there's also a point where the alcohol in your bloodstream just gets so high concentrate that you're like, We need this fucking scones. 3 a.m. and we're crashing. Speaking of crashing, despite those spiny little devils crashing our plans,

I wanted to go through a door before this whole little kerfuffle started. So you wanted to go through the eastern door. Doran, are you going to open it? Yeah. Is it unlocked? Yes, it is unlocked, and as you open it, you reveal a short passageway that ends in like a T-junction so you can head north or south. Doren opens the door and then turns back to the,

Hardy and says, it looks pretty dingy in here. Maybe we should start with the other end and finish up here. This might lead somewhere deep. Now, let's just do it. We're going to check this whole place out anyway. Okay, Doran's scared, and that's okay. I step in, and I'm going to roll a perception for traps. Okay, great.

Good idea. 19. On your trap-finding perception? It's funny. You do perceive some traps directly. ahead of you in the hall there are some interesting smaller structures on the ground

and as you narrow your eyes and make sense of what they are you realize they're mundane rat traps not traps for dwarfs and then Doran leans down and test them he puts his finger in it snap out apart from that the walls here are cut from the dirt

itself and are reinforced at certain intervals with stone pillars. Cool. Are you going to head north or south from this junction? Let's head north, Doran. Red shouts from the back. All right. And I start heading up this passageway. Well, come on.

So as you round the corner of this dark, dripping hallway, you, again, find yourself in a long straight away. You can see 60 feet down the hallway, straight ahead. And then your dark vision peters out, but clearly the hallway continues for quite some way. There's a door in the northern wall of this corridor, about halfway along. There's a door here. All right, let's take a look inside. If we're north of the villa now, we might be coming across where the barn was.

Yeah, that's right. That makes sense, yes. Maybe that's where that trap door comes out. So it's like, trap door. Yeah, so I open the door. Is it unlocked? It is unlocked. I open it and swing it open.

You open the door to reveal a roughly rectangular room. It's not terribly big, maybe 20 by 25 feet. Hanging in the middle of this 10-foot-high room, there are a bunch of chains ending in hooks. Upon the hooks, there are flayed carcasses of animals. Looks like maybe a meat cellar or something. Kinky. Yeah, kinky is right.

Yeah, it's kind of chilly down here. As we walk by, I'm just going to duck my head in and do a perception rule. Yeah, why not? With a 20, dirty. Dirty 20. With your dirty 20, you would identify these as boars, which is like a common sort of feast day food. Cool. The meat's still good.

Dry-aged. That's it. Yeah, it was a bit as that. Yeah, man. The meats looks fantastically marbled. I'll put one in the bag of holing, and I cut one down and put in the bag of holding. You guys are going to open up a fucking restaurant after this whole adventure is done. You got saffron and boar.

and potatoes. Chicken. Oh, it's going to be the best. Kralov is getting really excited. He's having a hard time staying in the moment. He's found the real treasure. And the smell of scones is still, like, wafting down the corridors here, too. Oh, yeah, the scones.

This is the most excited that Kralov's been in this thing to find something. He's like, oh, oh, boar, some fresh meat. I've never had boar before. Dry-aged bowl. Oh, we're going to have such a feast, buddy. So as Red finishes cutting down this bore, Doran's continued walking down the hallway. And Doran, you see now that there are more doors branching off to the north and the south of this long, long corridor. To the north, kind of adjacent to this cold storage room, there is a single door.

And then again to the south, maybe 10 feet down the hallway from that other door, there's a set of double iron doors. Well, okay, then I start with this single wooden door on the north side of this hallway then. Great, yeah. And I turn the handle, swing it open. Doran, you open the door to reveal a larger dark room. There are two wooden trestle tables with benches here that occupy the majority of the middle of the room. Atop which, there are several iron-wrought candlesticks spaced evenly. Their candles are all gone, burned, wax, dribbled in mounds on the table.

Looks like some sort of dining room. For the servants, maybe? Yeah, maybe for the servants. Do I see anything else in here looking around? Spaced also regularly throughout the ceiling of this larger room. There are some candelabros. And then there's also a door leading from this room to the west. Kralov, he's struck by the oddness of this dining room in the basement.

You're like standing behind Doran in the doorway? Yeah. And I'm just going to do a survival check to see if I can spot any tracks, anything fresh or if it's just dust. Cool. Go for it. A 15 for survival? You don't see any tracks here on the floor, no. Okay. I'm just trying to piece together what's going on down here,

but I guess we'll find out soon enough. It's a mystery. Doran moves to the door within this room, and he's going to open that door. So the second room on this northern end of the hallway reveals a vestry. It's furnished with wooden cabinets, some wardrobes. And it seems like similarly to, how you had perceived the prior room Krayloth.

Right. You can't see that it has recently been used necessarily. I am getting a cult vibe. Oh, for sure, yeah. Jack says he's already got his, he's already like made the decision and this is, this has got to be a cult. Can I make a knowledge religion check just to see if any of that pans out? Certainly.

Uh, 28. You know that there are definitely cults that worship devils and demons. Having seen the spined devils in the barrel room earlier, you know what they are used for, you would say with some degree of certainty that this is a cult. There's a part of Jack that really wants to find like the symbol of Asmodius or something on one of the like vestments or something that they would have in a wardrobe here, just to like find something to shout and say, see? So he might like take a minute to rifle through and see what's on the clothes.

Cool. That's one interesting thing. Up until this point, you haven't actually been able to. to identify the deity that would be celebrated necessarily by this cult if there was one. But you find a small assortment of cloaks, some incense sensors, and a couple of lacquered masks. Hmm. Hmm. Each mask is twisted into a diabolical visage and would cover the wearer's whole face except the eyes. No two masks are the same.

Are they clearly devilish masks, or are they just like scary people? Are they trying to be animals of some kind? These do not resemble any entities that you would recognize. They seem to be artistic portrayals of evil or scary faces. Maybe we should take some of those. What do you, what do you think? I already got one. And I'm putting a mask into my bag of holding.

Yeah, why don't you stash the masks in the robes if we ever need to pretend to be awful cultists? Yeah. I kind of like the idea. I'm wondering how those devils would have reacted to us if we were wearing these. That's a very interesting question. Yeah, so I'll put the cloaks and the masks in the bag of holding. There is some spooky business afoot here.

So should we head back to the main hallway and continue west? Before continuing west, Doran's thinking, maybe let's check out this double iron doors. What do you guys think? It could be valuables in here, double iron doors. Why not? I think iron doors would mean jewels, right? Lute.

That's right. All right. There are some runes carved into this. door that you are not able to translate or identify. I push the double doors open. Oh, you do, do you? Are they locked?

No, they're not locked. Two rows of tall wrought iron candlesticks light this vaulted chamber. Each one bearing nine flickering candles. A seven foot tall statue of an angel with white glowing eyes and a long

sword stands atop a dais to the south. A six foot tall fiend bristling with spire stands west of the statue glaring at you. Nine tapestries depicting the layers of the nine hells adorn the walls. This creature stares at you. Its skin is this blue-gray, stone-like texture, and in between the crevices of where its plates meet this roiling red color that extends

all the way up to its glowing red eyes, his needle-sharp teeth, and then all along its back and down its long tail, there are these sharp protrusions, spines, or spikes. It extends one long finger out at the two of you, Doran and Krayloff, and it says, Kigwishwitur, Vianuk. He seems nice. Krayloth gets down into a battle stance

and has his mace out next to Doren, and he says, You ever seen one of those? Not in my lifetime. It looks to me like it's some sort of, I don't know. Looks like the devil if I had to guess myself. Yeah, I got the exact same feeling. Doran pulls out his axe and his shield and is ready for battle. It's a good guess.

Roll for initiative. I'm rolling a dice that's got a name today. I'm naming a dice here officially. This stormy, gray, and dark. blue dice, I'm going to be calling Kellan. Kellyn the dice. Kelly Kellen after our Patreon supporter.

That's right. Kellyn is one of our great old ones, so he's got a dice. Now this is going to be interesting because we as the players are going to hate Kellyn to roll any 20s and really be happy when he rolls a 1. We'll see how he does for me. I mean, it is something

Kellyn signed up for. This is true. Red? What's your initiative? 11. Doren? 17. Crayloth? Liferlis rolled me another natural 20 guys. Whoa! Well done, limously done. Nice.

I don't get it. For a total of... 19. Yeah, I was going to say, I think you have minus one. And Jack? Jack's got a nine. All right, Krayloth, you start us off. What happens now?

Did you understand what that thing said? I don't speak abyssal. I'm going to assume that it's an enemy, but just in case I decided to bolster the party and I cast Bless, using one of my last two first level slots, and everybody is going to get a 1D4 to their attacks and saving throws. Thank you, Krael. Nice. Everybody?

Even the enemy? Even Zulkin? Yeah. I'm going to choose the monster, Zulkin, and the angel statue. The statue, right? There's a pretty sexy candle I write. I hate for anything to happen to it. No, Doran, myself, and, right?

Nice. Doran, you're up. Doran gives a wide grin, licks his lips. And I point my axe and I say, I'm going to take you down if I have to do it limb by limb. It responds to you. It says, Teen Wux, yo, ask we stick a coveeast.

Ask it if it speaks common. Takes a threatening step towards you. I'll take a threatening step towards it. Ooh. Roll for threatening step. I ready my battle axe and my shield. So you're ready in action to if it gets, within range of you, you're going to swipe at it?

Exactly. Cool. It's Zolkin's turn. He was in the hallway at the beginning of this encounter. So he's going to use his movement to come into the room and he flanks you, Doren, on the other side, just to kind of give you some backup. And Doreen kind of looks at Zulkin. At first, with a bit of distrust as he's been the entire time.

And then he looks at Zulkin again with almost like a camaraderie sort of approving nod. He gives you a wink. Let's kill this fucker. I don't wink back, but I just turn my gaze back to this beast. It's you and me, Dorn. And me. Shut up, Zulkin. Don't steal my friend.

It's the creature's turn. All right. It's going to bring its hands up in front of it, these long claws, and it summons this big ball of flame. Oh, man. That looks like a fireball. It hurls some flame at you, Doren. All right. Look out!

Does a 15 hit you? No, it does not. Oh, nice. This fireball just explodes overhead as it misses you with the flame. And then it hurls another one. At you, Kralov, does a 22 hit you? Yes, it definitely does. Oh, shit.

So Kralath, you watch as this first ball of fire whizzes overhead at Doren, and then your attention is momentarily taken away from the creature as... It's almost maximum damage. Oh, no. 16 points of fire damage. This fireball just blooms around your armor and your hair starts to burn and your skin cracks in the heat. Why don't you make a concentration check for me there, Justin? That is a 22.

All right, yeah, no problem. I've got advantage because of my warcaster feet, y'all. Harlan, it's Red's turn. You see this, this blaze erupt from where your friends are standing. What do you do? Oh, right, you devil. Time to take your medicine. And I'll draw an arrow from my pack.

You know what? I'll use a magic arrow. Okay. Maybe. You know what? I put my hand on a magic arrow and I looked at Jack who's standing next to me and just like, do it. Okay.

And then I pull my arrow out and I'm going to attack. Okay. I'm going to use my final spell slot to cast Hunter's Markov. on this bastard. All right. No, eight to hit. I'm afraid not.

And I will attack again. Natural one. Oh, no. For shame. I have had this die for a long time. Too long. This was the one I used to roll alongside Chester. I am officially shaming this dye.

It was an unnamed guy. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame on you. Bye.

In shame. Does it get a name? No. In fact, it will be the unnamed dye forevermore. However, I am going to reach into our jar of new dye and take out this lovely purple dye. I name this new purple dye, Christopher Ryan Evans, after our great old one, Patreon supporter. Wow. Don't let us down.

Christopher? Yeah, don't. Hopefully, Christopher. We're counting on you. He is going next to my gray boy, who I've never named either. It'll just be gray boy. Okay. Yeah, so that's my, my, my, two.

Two failed shots? Two failed shots. Good start. Are any of those dice from the new, new jar? Are they in any of them dressed? Dressed? No, they're not dressed. So you could say that they're nudie, new dye. Whoa, that was a walk.

Oh, we're not live. Cricket. It was a walk we took to get there. Yeah, no, that's it. I did nothing terrible. I can just barely see the punchline from here. Oh, there it is. All right, Jack, what do you do?

I peek my head around the door just to look inside, get a sense of where this devil's standing, where Doran and Zulkin are and sort of shoulder to shoulder with red. Mentally, like, Kieran, go make sure Doran's got all the help he can get. He's got to land a couple of blows here. And I throw a lot of magic of this thing. I use my alchemical casting. I summon up a third-level magic missile,

and I'm going to goose it with the extra raw force power and see what happens. That'll be five darts, each doing 1D4 plus 2D10 plus 1. How much juice do you have left? This is going to be pretty much one third level spell left, and I will have one first level spell left, and that is it. Good to know. 21 on the first one. Nice.

16, 18 for the third one, six for the fourth one, and 19 for the fifth one. I mean, it's an impressive display. Well, God. And honestly, every one of these arrows looks exactly like one of Red's magic arrows just made out of glowing, shimmering force for a moment, perfectly, hovers in the air and follows his last one through

and where his chinks off and goes to the left, these five fly straight ahead. Yeah, and they pummel this creature from all directions, all parts of his body, and he screams in rage. Sisko! Tewkskow! I think you pissed it off, Jack.

I don't think you liked it. Kralath, it's your turn. Newly singed and angry. He hefts his mace and runs towards this creature. And he's going to swing his mace. Cool. Oh my God. I feel like I'm cheating somehow.

It's another natural 20. Fuck yeah. Raylott. Way to go. I don't get it. I never roll this well. That's Liferless for you. Maybe he's trying to tell you something.

Oh, liverless. It sounds like a natured cleric might be a move for you. To hell with death. Think about life, green growing things. Or maybe he's asking for you to go do his mission, fucking finally. Come to Shadow Top Cathedral. I just wish I was rolling all of these 20s with you guys all around the table. I know.

So that there isn't, like, like... Cheaters. Yeah, I just feel like it's too good to be true. I've rolled like 70-20s in the last five episodes. All right, all right. Roll damage. 20 damage. What the hell?

One million damage. I swear, I'm not cheating, guys. I just rolled two minutes. million damage. I rolled maximum damage on my dog. Yes. No way. So 13 points of damage with the mace. Nice. And then I'm going to as a bonus action cast spiritual weapon, which is not a concentration spell, uh, 12 to hit. Yeah, that misses, unfortunately, but shining behind it, this spiritual scythe hovers in midair. Jack, did you send Kieran in? I did send Kieran in to go fly around and help Doren distract this creature.

Okay, so Doren, it's your turn. Doren, seeing what has happened to Kraloth and the others so far, takes upon himself to charge and attack. He runs up the other side of Kraloth, sort of flanks the beast from whatever side Kralath is not on. I am going to attack with a natural 20. Oh, yeah! Whoa! Nice.

Nicely done. That's awesome. So then I'm going to do the damage roll, six damage. No, no, no, no. So you rolled your dice twice? Why, I have to roll my dice twice? Because you critter 20. I rolled twice?

Wow. Yeah. I didn't know that. 30 fucking episodes. How many hours in early? You know, I always forget a little bit, too. You roll all your dice twice. So 2D8 plus 6.

19 damage. Nicely done. Nicely done. Good job, Doren. So Doren, you run up, you land this screaming hit on this creature. Do you want to take another attack? Yep. I swing the opposite way around and hit it with a 25 to hit.

Nice. Yes, 25 hits. 10 damage. Sweet. Shing, shing. Doran takes two heavy swings with his battle axe and blocking with his shield. Yeah, you like shave some of the spines off of its back as it howls and rage. That's how it's done, Doran.

Nice. And I clang my battle axe and my shield against each other. It's Zolkin's turn. He's going to run over and join the fray with his scimitar drawn. Yeah. I got this thing surrounded. Take that, you foul beast from the depths. You tell it.

Wachia was just trying to, like, it was just trying to say, like, do I smell scones upstairs? They're burning. I will happily trade you all my gold for a scone. Kill it! Someone in my cellar? Do you guys rob from me? My dry-aged pores. Yeah, he only hits once, so he tries to attack twice with his scimitar and once with his dagger and this flurry of steel.

But the demon just dodges out of the way, and he deals minimum damage on the one hit that he achieves. Now it's the devil's turn. So this devil springs into action with the spines all over his tail and whips out with his claws against you, Doran. All right. He's going to attack you 17. to hit with a tail. A miss, actually. And then with the claws, the highest is a 20, dirty.

Oh, yeah, that hits. Nine piercing damage. So the first one hits off my shield. Blang! And then the claws come down and they scratch my helmet, which doesn't injure me. But then through my face. Do you have an official scar? Ow.

Gross. Yeah. Is this a fish? I think this is... It's going to stay. It's going to stay. Oh, Doran. Now has a scar from, I mean, if you're going to get scarred by an enemy, a devil is the one to do it.

Yeah, dude. Doran, devil's guard. Yeah. That's pretty badass. Great bar story. Nine damage? Nine damage. Wow, Doran, how much damage did it do?

Nine. And you have a scar? Red, it's your turn. All right. Red is going to actually step into the room this time. Yes. Which I think will affect his attack. Looking at the creature, sounds like a good start.

All right, I'll open my eyes. I'm going to grab another one of my arrows. That means I should have only four left after this one. And I'm going to fire with a sharpshooter disadvantage. And I'm going to use Christopher on this one. Come on, Christopher. Oh, Christopher. Let's do it.

Christopher, you're such a good dice. And he rolled a 16, which is great. That brings me to a dirty 20. Christopher, pulling through. Dirty 20, Christopher. And I rolled maximum damage on both my Colossus Slayer and my attack die. Plus four on my hunter's mark, which brings me to a total of 33 damage. Wow, okay.

33, whop-ah! And I'm going to attack again. Come on, Christopher Ryan Evans. C-R-E. C-R-E. No, this time he rolled a three. Not low enough to shade. A little bit of shade, though.

Jack, what do you do, Jack? Jack's going to do the opposite of what Red did and stay out of the room and close my eyes as I'm going to inhabit Kieran for just a second. And run away. No, Kieran is going to land on the ground and weave himself between Doran's legs, very much connecting Doran to the stone. And using that prayer he'd learned from when his time, when he was made stone with the stone giant, there's sort of connecting Doran to the earth naturally, just his skin begins to

harden. And that new scar on his face becomes a wide and deepened like crevice as his body becomes granite. I think this is the first time we've seen Jack deliver a spell with Kieran. That's true, yeah. It's a new thing. I'm trying. It's called cowardice. I learned it from red. I love it. No, that's not fair or nice. But it's funny.

So yes, until the spell ends, you have resistant to non-magical, bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage. Cool. So Doran, as your skin turns to stone, you hear a sound coming from the south wall where the statue is. And through this previously unnoticed secret door in the southern wall, you see another devil come through and into the room. And it quickly assesses the situation and then conjures fire and hurls it at red in the corner of the room.

I didn't even do anything. That's red in the corner. That's me in the fire. Flames burning my... Losing your religion. And I'm going to roll Kellan on this one. Let's see how we go, Kellan. Come on, Kellyn.

Come on, Kellyn. You don't... 19 to hit. Shut up, Kellyn. No. Kellyn, why are you like this? Yeah, he hit me. And... 24.

Oh! Damage? Oh, my God. No, 24 to hit with the second ball of fire. Yeah, two balls of fire per round. Kellyn, making it happen. Holy moly. Let's see how much damage you take.

Take red as the first fireball streaks toward you. 13 fire damage. Oof. And the second flame, three damage. I am at nine hit points. Oh, shit. Kralath, it's your turn. So this second creature reveals itself through this inky black hole in the wall

and then just incinerates your friend. And Kralov is just in the middle. He's about to be like, all right, we got it. Surrounded, guys. We can do it. And then he sees the fireball fire out and looks over this creature. shoulder to see this second devil and his entire plan that he'd gathered all of his dice to prepare for completely goes out the window as he sees red completely singed in the corner you're

welcome don't worry about me i can heal myself all right buddy hang in there dorin kind of tries to connect eyes with you crayloff sees the look in dorin's eyes and i'm just trying to convey to Krayloth that I'll go after this new one. You stay on this one. So I do that with like head nods. Sort of like, Night of the Rocksbury. I mean, you can use words too. You can use words also.

They don't speak common and it doesn't matter. Oh, right. Okay. Well, I'm just thinking like, it's like a series of complicated head movements. I don't understand. What are you trying to say? One soldier to another.

It's how they communicate. It's more of like one of those things where I look at Krayloth and Kralath knows what I'm thinking because I look at him. You're locking up. Guys, we talked about this day one. So that's all it is. There's no conversation. Right. Because there's not enough time to have a conversation.

Yeah. I just look at the other beast and I look at you and you know what I'm thinking that I'm going to go off to the new. Maybe we can lock eyes. It's the soldier's bomb. Exactly. You're going to engage. Okay. So I'll engage the new one.

They're getting engaged? You fucking guys. What do you do? What do you do? Okay. So I'm doing two attacks. I'm attacking with my mace and I'm attacking with my spiritual weapon. I rolled a 17 plus two.

So 19 plus my, yeah. Okay, so that's going to hit. And for my spiritual weapon, I rolled a 5 plus 4, so 9 plus 5. So 14 to hit. That misses. Oh! So you hit with your mace, though. Five points of damage.

Okay. And the weapon swipes and misses. Next up, Doran, you see this new creature on the battlefield, and you and Krayaloth exchange many very meaningful glances. Just a quick glance. Yes, we do. We exchange a quick glance and Doran says, I'm going after this new guy because this is bullshit.

Why are there two now? Just at a look. But you know what? He's going to... Glance at Kralath again. Something always Preehlh takes a swipe and misses. So Doren swipes at the one in front of him before proceeding on to the next.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. Because this is what I'm going to do. With a glance, Kralov communicates that he's feeling like this one's getting low in health. But also, if we can take this one out, then that's less, you know, damage that this group can do. I attack, and I am going to hit with a 28. Yep, you hit. 28 is sufficient, surprisingly. Doing seven points of damage to the one standing in front of me.

Yikes. Yeah. And then, tactically speaking, it does make more sense to focus fire down this creature, then moving on to the second. No, you know what? Maybe, yeah, maybe Doren does heed that little voice in the back of his head, which is really red. Focus fired down the same creature, Doren. Yeah, maybe I will. Rayloff, he lied to you with his eyes.

Those lying eyes. And I'm just going to attack. I tell you in glances. Yeah. Fiery glances from the corner. Which is going to be a. Lying eyes. A hit. Go Dora.

Yeah, that'll hit. Nice. Oh, my God. Seven more points of damage. Not nothing. And then I'm going to take my action search. Okay. Why not?

Nice. Good cause. I'm going to use that action surge for my combat, superior, super, that thing. Superiority. Super combat. What's combat soup? I want some combat soup. And I'm going to give it to you and I say, Doren, would you just take a shot?

And you're going to add... Come on, Doran. You can do this. Come on, Doran. All right, buddy. I'm like patting out the flames on my shoulder. And you're going to add a two to your damage. Wonderful.

Thank you, Doran. No problem. Use your trained eye, red. All right. And I'll do another magic arrow. Christopher rolled not bad. Let's see. No.

13. Damn. Sorry. Your magical arrow flies wide and clatters off the wall. I'm sorry, Doran. Zulkin's turn. Zulkin's going to slug. flash at the creature with his scimitar.

That hits with a 15. Way to go, Zulkin. Nine slashing damage. Nice. He's going to attack again with his scimitar. Go Zulkin. 23, that hits. Nice.

Oh. Final blow. Six slashing damage. Maybe. All right. No, but the creature's like almost dead. Oh, we've almost got this guys. With the dagger, his final attack.

Oh, Zulken. It's like this puny little weapon. That's a natural 17. Hey, that's not bad. A natural 17. So it hits? The most natural number. If this is max damage, he kills it, but it has to be maximum.

Come on, Zulkin. Na-da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. How about that, guys? That's four on the same. Lunges forward and do it. Sticks the dagger into the thing's chest and this just like eruption of hot blood all over you guys and the one devil is dead.

Then Zulkin uses his movement because he's a fucking hero to run around the side of where this statue is to stand right up next to this new devil with his movement. Red, it's your turn. Yeah, Red is going to fire twice and then move out of the room. So I will do my first shot with a sharpshooter disadvantage. Ooh, and that's going to miss. Gakes. And I'll do it again. 18 to hit. That hits. Is this your last magic arrow? This would be my last magic arrow. 26 damage. Wow, good job.

Worth it. And Red is going to move out of the room and cry. And the next round he'll be using a potion to heal. Cool, cool. Jack, it's your turn. Jack is going to peek around the corner just as Red rushes out of the room and see the new devil that's there. Yeah, and this like heaving bloody body of the previous devil on the ground expiring. I mean the devil inside the room?

Devil inside. Yes. Devil inside. He's going to send Kieran out to help Doren some more. And then he's going to just reach a hand out and try and yank this thing's soul from its supernatural body and toll the dead. Cool. So it's got to make me a DC-15 save. All right, Kellen, wisdom save.

Here we go. That's a 19. That'll sadly do it. Whoa. And then I'm going to move behind the door again. New devil turn. The devil is going to attack Zulkin because it just saw him dispatch the previous iteration of this monster. No tears will be wept.

I mean, good luck, Zulkin. He did give us the Nightstone Four as a name, and for that, we'll always honor him. So he lashes Zulkin with his tail and hits him for 11 piercing, and then misses with a claw. I mean, in a way, this is really Kellyn's fault. And then he's going to try to hit Kieran real quick, the claw. Fuck birds. Because fuck birds, that's right. 19 to hit.

It'll hit. You shield. You shield. Five damage. Five damage is enough. Kieran falls to the ground and poofs out of existence before it even gets there. Oh, no. Boss.

Now we can't see invisible shit. Kralath, it's your turn. So you watch as Zolkin takes a tail to the face bristling with spines. And then the creature turns and swats Kieran down off of the ground. And the Tressam's body evaporates into a new realm. And Kralov's going to double down. with the spiritual weapon. It's going to spin around and swipe at this devil.

And then he's also going to cast sacred flame. So if you could do a dexterity saving throw for me. We'll do, we'll do. Natural 20 on Lifferless. Oh, come on. Jesus. Well done. And that's a 13 deck save.

Yes. Yeah, so you hit it. You hit it with the spiritual weapon and with your sacred flame. Thank you. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Cray law. Dorn exclaimed. with excitement.

Through a meaningful glance. It takes six points of radiant damage. Cool. Four points of damage from the spiritual weapon. Sick, Doran. Doran's going to attack. 18. Uh-huh.

That hits. Nice. Way to go, Dorian. Get it. Nine points of damage. Nine points of damage. Okay. And then 18.

That hits again still. And that's going to be 11 points of damage. Nice. Clang. Clay. Went the trolley. That's all I'm doing. This being exciting and attacking.

Zulkin's going to attack now three times at this new creature and hits him all three times. Oh, my God. Shut up, Zulkin's killing it, literally. Nine damage, and then another nine damage, and then with the dagger, six damage. Wow. Not bad. Nice. Pretty good round.

Red, you're in the hallway. You hear the commotion of battle from. around the corner and you see Jack like dipping in and out firing spells yeah and as much as I want to help I also have to play smart I'm going to pull one of the healing potions from my bag of holding unstopper it and drink it down uh seven hit points back jack it's your turn what do you do move peek his head around the door reach his hand in again and try and tear this creature's soul apart tolling the dead please save or fail to save is what I really like seven nice hey here's a question Do devils even have souls?

Who knows? Maybe you're actually healing it. Doran, don't get me started on it. 21 damage. What kind of damage? Necrotic damage. Yeah, it's almost like Jack's hand just feeling Kieran's spirit there for a minute,

grabs a hold like a claw of a cat, and shreds this thing. And then you realize that Kieran's dead forever. And then Jack gets out of the doorway, stands on the other side of the door, sort of like, you know, lethal weapon style. Yeah, yeah. The devil generates full.

fire in between his hands and throws it 10 feet in front of it at you, Kralath. I'm not afraid. Oh, Kellen just rolled me natural 20. Oh, my God. God damn it, Kellen. Eight fire damage to you. Oh, it's not so bad. Why don't you make a concentration check for me?

Oh, actually, I rolled a two and a four. Oh. So, bless, winks out. And as your vision recovers another ball of fire streaking directly toward you, you. I rolled a 20 and a one. Oh, nice. Who rolled the one? There we go. That would be Kellyn. Kellyn, you're coming around. Thank you. Yes. All right. So, all right. So that's the devil. Kralath. I managed to get my shield up in time. Yeah, yeah. And as the fireball negates into my shield,

I instantly do another combo where I'm casting sacred flame and swiping with my scythe. So another dexterity. save for me, please. 20, dirty. Dirty, 20, and I got a 15 to hit with the scythe. That'll do it, how much? Nice. Okay, 10 points of damage.

Nice. Doren, it's your turn. Doran feels the aura of blessing dissipate from him, and he feels a little less attuned. So he still attacks the devil in front of him with

25. Nice. Nicely done. Alex, you are rolling rocks tonight. I really am. eight damage for the first hit and he comes back around with another 25 to hit and this time 12 points of damage I'm just slicing off chunks from this devil as if it was a piece of deli meat at the deli sling sling or a dry-aged ham hawk it's like that scar on your eye has

really improved your aim Doran realized that he was blessed all along the blessing wasn't even real. It was in you. Placebo. Zolkin takes three swipes at the devil and lands one with his scimitar. Nice. Keep it up, Zulkin. And Doren, kick an ass over there. Seven slashing damage. Red,

it's your turn. I have 16 hit points. It hit me for 16 last time, but if I duck back in cover, I think I'll be okay. So I'm going to walk in the door frame. I'm going to use my sharpshooter penalty and I'm going to fire at this creature one more time. I'm also going to use my bonus action to move my hunter's mark on to

this creature from the dead body. Yeah, yeah, do it. Here we go. Come on, Christopher. No! I'm going to do the same attack. You're doing bad for me, Chris. I don't like it. Started out pretty hot. Yeah, but not very good. You know, Red's really, must be cramped in the tunnels here. You haven't hit anything. He's freaking out. He's like, it's okay. It's okay. And then he's going to go back in the hallway and hide some more because he's low HP. Jack, it's your turn. I'm going to do the same the same move I did last time. Told the dead? No.

No. No. No. No. No. And that's what we got going on. Let's see it. 3D4s plus 3, 8, 9, 10, 11 damage.

Total? Yeah, just a regular one. What does it look like when you kill this devil? Oh, yeah. Jack steps into the doorway and just puts both his hands forward and these perfect arrows, just like the one's red shot flying. towards this devil and they're into its chest blowing pieces of devil off.

It's dead. You killed it. That's for Kieran. Nice. Good job. So, the body of this creature lies slumped on the floor, bleeding this black blood. Oh, man. Bleed your black blood, bloody. Red walks back in the room, limping

a little bit. His fur is singed. I'm going to take 10 minutes to comprehend language. Cool. Nice. Good call. I'd like to investigate this can we call this statue stonework? It is a stone statue. I have proficiency.

So I'm going to add my proficiency bonus to this. So eight with my proficiency bonus. Woohoo. So as you are standing around and just kind of casting an eye over the statue, it occurs to you that the light that's emanating from the statue's eyes is caused by a cavity in the statue. It's hollow. and the light is being emitted from something within the statue.

The eyes are holes. Yep. Guard! Without really asking anybody's vision. Always a good way to start something. I'm going to strike it down and see where the light is coming from. Sure. How can you just push a statue over?

That's so rude. Make a strength check for me. 15. You can't do it right away. It takes some time. But because you're spending 10 minutes here. We're just watching Doran try to push over the statue. And then...

What are you doing? Nothing. I'm imagining you, like, get your backup against the statue and you have your feet on the wall eventually, and you just topple it over. And it shatters on the floor, this gorgeous stonework pulverized to bits. And as it does... I'm glad this is only an RPG. This weapon falls out. It's a mace.

Oh. And it is illuminated and glowing. Dibs. Red's, like, trying to pick it up, and it's, like, comically, just can't move. We're just like, come on, guys, I got a mace, to drag it across the floor. There was the statue of an angel, right? It was a statue of an angel, no more, but it was.

The mace's head has these blades on it that look like it would deal some pretty decent damage. By the light of Moradin. And he scrambles over and picks up this beautifully ornate mace. As you touch it, reverberations of a magical item echo. through the flash of your hand up into your forearm. I drop it because I'm not used to touching magical stuff and feeling this sort of thing.

Something's wrong with it. I look at Jack, actually. Something's wrong with it. It's vibrating or something. Doran, I'm in the middle of something. Why don't you just sit for a couple of minutes? Fuck off, Toran. I pick it up again.

You have to start it again. I just pick it up. Red will walk over and watch because I'm interested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's so super cool. What do you think, Red, is it? Why is it vibrating? It's probably magic.

I touch it too, but I don't lift it. I just feel the reverberations. Zulkin's looking at it. He's like, I imagine that would fetch a fair price. Shut up, Zulkin. Nobody's talking to you. No one's talking to you. That's a super best friend, super stuff.

Shut up. Krala, come look at this. Wow, that's something else. Let's see what we can learn about it when we get a minute. I mean, hold on to it for now. I agree. remembers there was some writing on the door, and he wanders over to see what it says now that he can read it.

Nice. It reads, that which falls can rise again. Uh-huh. Ah. Better not rise again. Yeah. I walk over to the corpse and kick it. Well, seeing that and all of these hellish tapestries around here, I'm wondering if it's

maybe not referencing, you know, something. Let's take a look around this underhaul. We've done a little bit, but this creature, came from a secret passage, and Red's going to walk over to the doorway that that thing came out of and open it. Yeah. Indeed. I follow. This room is lit by a pair of wrought iron candlesticks in the northeast and southeastern corners, nine candles burning atop each one, casts a flickering light across a claw-footed altar carved from a block of obsidian, upon which there is a Small flame erupting from the top.

Looks spooky. And this is just a dead room. There's no other exits? Not that you know. Can I do an investigation rule to see if there's any other exits? You can certainly look for secret entrances. 18! So you do find a secret door in the southwestern part of this room

that leads to a dim corridor that ends in a set of stairs leading up. Ah, I bet you... Oh, this must be the... The secret exit to the, and you know what? I'm going to skip ahead and I'm just going to go check it. Does it sort of lay out in my mind where that trapdoor would lead? Yeah, the stairs end in a trap door. I know it.

Guys, this is another exit. And actually, there's another door that leads out of this room that's not hidden. Do you try it? I do. Doran tries the door. Doran tries to opening the door. Doran, you open the door to reveal 18 hellhounds. Oh, no.

Yeah. No, there's a prison here, clearly. There's a larger room with six. It looks like cells branching off of it that have these bars. Huh, okay. I'm starting to think that these people might have been bad. Yeah. Is there anything in here worth really investigating?

Yeah, you see some moldering bones in a few of these cells. But apart from that, nothing really catches your eye. And then I guess I head back towards the first entryway. Are there any more areas branching off of this surrounding hallway that circles where we entered? If I remember correctly, in the starting room, there was another door. Why don't we head back and take that look? That's correct. I'll go listen to that one.

The room with all the barrels. So you, you know, you guys spend 10 minutes wandering around this place, getting back to the first room that you ever came. into and you open this door that you had previously left alone to review the suspense man we've been waiting a whole dungeon for this door a wine cellar we'll buy two of your wines good sir you find 200 corked bottles of wine displayed yeah in wooden racks and in crates stacked in the middle of the room. I mean, if this is our new home base, maybe we just keep it. Like, that's where we come back for wine.

You guys have a party. Doran in a very gluttonous fashion, steps in, uncorks a bottle of wine with the tip of his axe, and just splashes it into his mouth. And there's one final door leading off this room. And I will open the last door. You reveal four wooden tables that have two small wooden coffers atop each one. And hanging on the wall opposite the door, there is a beautiful golden shield. And as you enter, the candlesticks that occupy two small brass candelabros, they just magically light themselves.

Wow. Oh, that's unsettling. It's quite the magical place. Kralov is immediately drawn to the shield. Like physically? Yeah. Physically drawn to it. Yeah.

Magnet. And he just admires it standing there. What does it look like? It has a curling beacon of flame inscribed on its surface, and it's beautiful. It seems to be unmarred by blade scar. Like, it's never seen a battle, but it looks very well made. I carefully pull it off the wall, and I handed it over to door, and I... As you touch it, you feel just this electricity in the shield.

This is a magic item. Take 3D10 light damage. Kralath, I can tell just by the way that your eyes lit up when you picked up that shield, that it's a magic shield, isn't it? It is for sure, Doran. And I'm thinking that this might be an asset to the party. Also, as you pull this shield off the wall and you examine it and you're holding it out to Doran, your eyes light upon the inside of the shield, the part that was facing the wall,

there is a script that runs along the inside perimeter of the shield that you can't read. Jack's busy scribbling down a list of his own questions and takes a quick look at it, touches the shield, and it's like, oh, it waits for it to speak to him. It says, this shield repairs the body. Hmm. The shield repairs the body. What language was it in? Do I know that?

It's abyssal. Abyssal. So that's the same as what the devils were talking. Yeah. Holy moly. Oh, and as soon as he says that, Krayloth's enthusiasm flickers a bit, and he says, I think we should spend some time with these items, this shield and the mace that you found before we really try to put them into use.

Jack, when you have some time, would you be able to figure out what these things do, make sure they're not cursed or anything? Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of questions about this place that I have. And I'll take a look at some of these coffers. All right. Mm-hmm. So there are eight altogether. Wow.

Someone needs a lozenge. That was pretty good. Good one. I like that. That's pretty good. So the first coffer contains 30 electron ingot worth 10 gold each. Whoa. Coffers two, three, and four each contain 100 gold pieces.

All just stacked up in a nice little pile. Coffer 5 contains two pieces of a deck. dagger. They're broken. Hmm. Let me see this. And Doran eyeballs the work on the dagger. It's a curved blade made of ivory. Looks ceremonial.

Hmm. Interesting. And the hilt is wrapped in leather strips studded with gemstones. Not the most beautiful piece I've seen, but it's certainly made of some valuable materials. There. Put this in the bag of holding. Yeah, it's a little tacky. Where the hell does one even get

ivory. Coffers six and seven each contain 100 platinum pieces, and coffer number eight contains 20 azurite gemstones, worth 10 gold each. So you guys are rolling in it now, and Zulkin, like, rubbing his hands together behind you, red, watching you put everything in the bag. All right, all right, don't worry, we'll split it all up. I feel like we have done a good job as this. Hands in, everyone.

You too, Zokin. Let's do the Nightstone 4 on 3. One, two, three. The Nightstone 4 on 3. No, the Nightstone 4, not on 3. What about me? Yes, we said you two. Nice, fine, let's try the Nightstone 4 plus Zokin on 3.

One, two, three. The Nightstone 4 plus Zokin on 3. What? Shut up, Zulken. Nailed it. All right. Why don't we rest here and figure out how we're going to divide stuff up in the morning? That sounds like a plan.

My feet hurt. We're all walking upstairs. into the kitchen to this gorgeous smell of scones and Oren is upstairs. He's fallen asleep in a chair waiting for you to come back up, but you can see that he's pulled the scones out of the oven just as they were finished and they're cooling on the table. And as you come upstairs, his eyes flutter open and he says, good morning, masters, I've got breakfast. You're a hero, Oren. You did good, Oren. Well, I mean, technically Kralath made it. Morning sun is just starting to lighten the sky outside as you can see

the lawns of the villa through this massive hole in the kitchen. So what's the plan team? What do we want to do next? Why don't we help Phyllis, you know, set up? There's blood everywhere. There's broken dishes, broken cabinets. You know, we can help fix up the place a little bit. There's some dangerous things here we can't leave that alone with. Yeah. There's like a montage of dragging

imp bodies out the back door and burying them in the field. Yeah, let's clean up this place, help. Phalas make this the proper home for the Nightstone 4. Divvy up this loot with Zolkin and then say her goodbyes and head back to town. Not to mention, we still paid for that room and I want to get my money's worth. Sounds like a plan to me. And Doran shoves a scone in his face. Let's montage this day then.

Oh, yeah. I feel like Red is on the roof, nails in his mouth, nailing roof tiles back down from, you know, when giants through boulders on the roof. Cool. Being the most limber, it's easy for him to climb up. And he waves down to Dorn in the courtyard, dragging a piece of a horse out of the courtyard. Hello. Stop taking bites of it and drag. Oh, yeah.

Krayloff is definitely in the kitchen, spending most of his time organizing the pantry, cleaning everything up, making things look spick and span, and making sure that everybody's well-fed for all of the renovations happening. Oren is doing his best in the kitchen with Kray-Loth, just getting the masonry back in order, trying to patch the hole in the wall. Jack spends his day sort of sorting out as much of the stuff that's like obviously inherently evil and, you know, from the like bodies of the devils taking them somewhere to be buried and consecrated so they can't come back to haunt it or like folding up the

awful, you know, tapestries of the layers of hell and things, just trying to try to like unhaunt the basement and find somewhere in there in an hour to go and out to go upstairs and check through the library of books and things that were definitely evil. He's got two piles. Evil, not evil. Yeah. He's like Marie Kondo. Exactly.

Does this bring you evil? Yes. Does this instill fear? Doran is chopping wood and he's singing out in the forest. Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hot to work we go. And he's chopping wood, he brings it in and stacks it next to the fireplace. And after he clears out the imp bodies. And at the end of the day, we've laid out all.

all the loot, shared it equally with every party member involved, and sort of as we're all counter on the fire, we take a moment. You know, those hill giants are still ravaging that town. As you will, folks, but for me, I think I'm going to see where the sunset takes me. And Zolkin starts packing up his bag, and he takes a second. He looks at each of you and he says, I thank you for giving me another chance. You know, it's not often that someone gets to rewrite history, it were. And Doren walks up and takes hold of Zorkin's hand, and he shakes it. He says, You know, you really have proven yourself otherwise. Have safe travel, Zorkin. Yeah, Zokin, I, I, I, I misjudged you. I'm sorry. Well, I like you at first, and then I

kind of had mixed feelings, and then, you know, Jack made me feel one way or another, and I just want to say that I'll miss you, and you take care of yourself. Best of luck to the Knight's Stone Four. Good fortune, see you, Zulkin. And he waves and walks off down the road. Shut up, Zokin. Shut up. Nothing better than a montage. Thank you to our great old one Patreon supporters,

Kellyn Holman, Christopher Ryan Evans, and newest member with this distinguished title, Mr. Adam Frey. Thank you, friends, for supporting us, and please consider joining our Patreon if you like this show. That's when Orrin strikes a chord on the mandolin, and he says, They left the village to go in pillage, but certainly did none of that. And they all went together, and they saved this boy's feather from being plucked out of his hat. Thank you.

Thank you.