Dice Shame - 38 | 'Beat Around the Bush'

Episode Date: July 2, 2020

While scoping out the Hill Giant's hive, the team encounters some pesky foes... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All right, get out of here, you bum. Yeah, I'm just walking along, like, try and keep this canterip up. I feel like baking scones is a unit of measurement now. Give me those veggies. Mook hungry. Oh, is it crying right now? Stay here. We'll go get husband.

Chief Gah's been working with the galbinoids in the countryside. This might be a way we can walk in. Oh, my God, Doran. Oh, God, Doris. Duran. What the hell? That's too far. God, fucking damn it, Doran.

Welcome back at Dice Shane, episode 38, beat around the bush. MVP this week is listener Megan Matalanak. Megan animates gifts, and she likes to focus on D&D-related content. Obviously count us in. Are you looking for adventure? Why not ride the rails in the private desk wall as it travels from city to city through the death lanes? A cold, sunless wasteland that's almost as fearsome as the specters that inhabit it. Ghosts on a Train is a bi-weekly tabletop podcast where four of our friends play Ghost Lines, an RPG by John Harper.

This podcast is equal parts charming, frightened, fun, and hilarious, so make sure you check them out. Find their tree link at Ghost underscore Train to find every way to listen. Are we ready to do this? Yeah, let's do it. So it's hot out there. It's a stinking humid day. It's a stinking humid day out there, Joe. That's right.

It's a swelter. It's just in. Stinking human day. We recently were able to go and visit Alex at his new, beautiful, new home. He's got a gorgeous pool. And my office is in the attic where it's stinking hotter. Stinking humid hot. That is very nice.

It's gorgeous. Oh, yeah. I almost didn't want to pee into it. Alex has a window there. Can you dive out the window straight into the pool? I've thought about it, but no. Because I jump in the pool to the shallow end with my kid and I hurt my foot the other day.

Oh, you've got to be careful. I'm actually worried about someone getting drunk and trying that. Don't know who. Is the someone getting drunk and trying you? That might be A-L-E-X. Did you really mean to say, I'm worried about getting drunk and trying it myself? Yes, ultimately, that's, I'm the one who does this.

I'm worried about getting drunk and trying it, guys. Speaking about jumping right in. And getting drunk and trying things. I mean, should we get right into this? Yeah. That's the Nightstone Forest motto. So, how far away do you stay from Moog? I mean, far enough that the smell isn't overpowering

and that we can keep this illusion of Doran on Kralath with a magic illusion over top is a big badass giant. I'm going to roll an intelligence check here. Yeah, sure. See how well this illusion holds up? Intelligence investigation against my spell save DC is what this... Well, that's a seven. That's not my 15.

So how long does your illusion last? Well, I can... It takes an action. It lasts a minute, so I'm assuming I'm recasting it and like... It's a cantrip, so you're just... You're busy, but you're going to make it keep happening. I'm just walking along, like, trying to sneak around, but still keep this cantrip up and like...

Kralath and Doran, how are you, like, puppeteering this illusion? Well, I've got like my sleeve. my arms are in my sleeves to make my arms look longer. Yeah. Kralov is just holding Doran's feet and has like a squat stance. So we look like we have a really big torso. Yeah. And I'm,

and with every time that Jack talks, I kind of go, because I can't speak giant, but it gives the guttural feel that I'm, that someone's speaking. But it's just that you're playing the chest because there's a five foot giant head on top of you that's like just the worst Muppet.

But she looks, she looks at you. stupidly. And sometimes there's like a gleam of understanding in her eyes. You're not sure if she's just going with this because she wants what you're offering her or if she truly believes what's happening. But like with thunderous steps, you follow the path that this giant leads you through the grassland of the desert valley. She's heading southeast. So you're going further away from the road. But it's in the general direction where you sort of thought maybe this giant hive was on the way red you have some shiny things in a bag yes i do you tell your friends about it i mean i want to but one's on the shoulders and the other ones keeping can chip i'm uh i want to but i'm just going to look through them in the bag right now so i saw a ring you guys have a couple of hours of travel you could attune to these items if you'd like i definitely want to look at them first okay this ring is

silvery. It has sapphires inlaid in the band with some undulating carvings, and it is magical. If I attune to something, can someone else attune to it as well? You give it to them and they have to spend an hour attuning to it, and then your attunement ends. My logic is, since attuning is the easiest way to find out what this is, I'm going to attune to it while we're traveling, and best case scenario, I can give it to somebody else that it suits better. This is a ring of swimming. Oh. So it gives you a swim speed of 40 feet while wearing this ring. Is swimming a strength check? Yes.

This might be best for me anyway. Yeah. So swimming is an athletics check specifically. I have negative one. Me too. So we'll figure it out. It might be easier for you. And the armor, my love, you are holding mithril half plate armor. Oh yeah.

Does that work for me? That's what you were thinking of buying in pound. It gives you an AC of 15 plus your dexterity modifier to a maximum of two. Nice. 15 plus my dexterity modifier. That's...

To a maximum of plus two. Yes. No stealth disadvantage. Amazing. So you get some shiny armor just like Doran retrieved. Yes. I put that on. I'm like...

So I will pull off the ring and I'll walk up to Jack as he's being distracted. This is the ring of swimming I found and I found this awesome armor. I like try to show you. I'm imagining him like puppeting this giant with these illusions. and then also be like trying to get a ring on his finger and, yeah, he'll put it on. I put it on your finger. Are you kidding? I'm like, here, we're married now.

Meanwhile, two hours of Kraloff and I, mopeteering. Give you a break every once in a while and put the giant face in a tree. How much further is this fucking place? So eventually you come to a river and Mug follows this river. south and then she stops and she points a chubby hand down river and she says down there grudhog where chief gar has husband not for long we'll get husband yeah and then food for mood for moog yeah mouk hungry so sad moog so hungry

she throws a little temper tantrum she throws some big rocks into the river are you in trouble jack it's still good maybe tell her there's food somewhere like nearby so she can disappear I've been on my own for like three hours can I just go hunt a deer this land looks picked clean

and indeed as you travel closer and closer to where Moog tells you this grud hog is trees are uprooted. There are huge, giant tracks everywhere, evidence of a lot of traffic. You don't find any deer. And she sort of,

she sits down on this muddy riverbank and she starts crying again. That's right. Scare them. I look down at Creelth and I say, I gotta start to feel bad. Oh, is it crying right now? Yeah.

I think so. She's hungry. Yeah, me too. I kind of feel bad for her. It's coming up on dinner time, indeed, for all of you. Stay here. We'll go get your husband. We'll go get husband, remembering the right syntax.

Yeah. His name, Rook! I can't wait. Lucky girl. And the minute she turns our back to us to, like, cry, we all just slink off into the woods. Okay. So she said it was down this way? It's right there.

Where? So I'm going to cast pass with Otrace again. my final second level of spell slot, as we continue sneaking in the direction she pointed. Everyone roll a stealth check. I thought you're going to say roll initiative. Everyone roll initiative. You all die.

12. 35. 23. 22. Okay. As the four of you stealthily traverse the riverbank going downstream, about 10 minutes from where you left, Moog, you see a huge. huge mound. It dams up the river, which has created a lake. It looks like a beaver dam.

There are huge mounds of timber and whole trees that create this muddy structure. Atop which there sits a curiously well-designed and massive hut. There is a tower made of timber and you can just see some guards standing on this watchtower. The smell is impressive. Let's camp for the night and prepare to assault at first light. And I think we climbed back down the little embankment we were on. Yeah, we'll set up a little tiny hut. Take a couple of minutes to get some cover going.

As you settle in for the night, you are lulled to sleep by a curious mix of sound. heavy giant footprints, the bleeding of sheep and the quiet talk of giants. You wake up under the magical dome of Liamon's tiny hut on the shore of this lake. You left Moog upriver last night. Hopefully she's not mad. You haven't returned yet with her husband. There's only so many hours in the day. I hope she's not angry at us.

red sits up and restrings his bow speaking it's like the first thing he does he just sits up and starts talking there's no and that's very traditional right you know what I mean there's no like warm up period for red you guys will be sound asleep and he'd be like there's another thing i'm thinking about this morning yeah like two seconds ago he was fast asleep and then just boom right up right oh 100% and as red's talking doran also wakes up and starts to do his normal maintenance which is cutting his nails with his axe and cleaning his teeth. That's something. That's normal. So we are on the cusp of an adventure and I stand at the edge of the hut, take a sip of coffee and turn to the others. What's our plan here? Is our goal just to head in and kill all the giants or

hmm? That would be my plan, but I don't know. I'm not really, uh, what about you guys? I mean, we should take a moment to strategize. The idea here is that we know that the giants are ravaging this land. We've been firsthand witness to their terrible ferocity. But ultimately, this is now their main base. Are we just to walk up and slaughter them all? Are we trying to convince them to stop? Are we going to ask them information? I mean, part of the problem seems to be that they're all organized, almost, that there's just so much giant in one spot that whatever they normally do is now just very concentrated. Like all of that rating and pillaging. which, I mean, it don't approve of in general,

but when it's one hill giant or two off in the middle of nowhere, that's different than whatever we saw peeking over the hill last night with this whole big complex. Like, that's a level of organization. But, I mean, it would be the dream would really be to be able to convince Chief Goh to find another way instead of stealing stuff. But I just don't know how possible that would be.

It kind of boggles my mind. mind, I'll be honest, I was expecting the giants to be less organized. Like, I was expecting their mound to be a mound of dirt and not an actual constructed building. This is, it's actually a bit perplexing, to be honest with you. I don't know what to expect now. It does seem kind of out of the scope of giant intelligence. What do you think the odds are they've got human help with them. Maybe not human, but definitely some other creature with more intelligence seems to have helped. Or are they more intelligent than we give them credit for? I mean, that's the whole question of the ordaining. It's a question of how giants organize themselves and what they're capable of,

and seeing that they're capable of things like this, I mean, there's an awful and terrible part of it, but also like an awesome one. What's the awful and terrible part about it? Sorry. I mean, it's awesome that they're able to organize or at least have folks organize around them and build structures like this. Yeah, I see you're saying. The awful and terrible part is that they're funding them by going around the land, you know, stealing and killing people and consuming things and shoving stuff in sacks and raiding golden fiends and belly arder. That's the awful part. Right. Sorry.

Yes, yes, yes. That and the smell. Also an awful part. Well, it's true. Oof. Almost impressive. So, essentially, one of the options is to dismantle the sort of idea of this hill giant congregation rather than slaughter them all, because let's be real. We can take on maybe one or two hill giants, but there's a good, in fact, Red just takes a second, sort of mid-talking.

And I'm just going to use my primeval awareness to sort of try to figure out how many giants are in this place. Good thinking. And Red gets down on his knees and puts his ear to the ground. and closes his eyes. Now a familiar scene. You recognize this is Red using his primeval awareness. And I'm going to try to determine

how many giants there are in this facility. There are 15 giants located just to the southeast of you. There is one to the north of you. Red opens his eyes. I sense 15 in there. And he stands up.

Chances are one of them is Moogs. Huck. Was it Huck? Yeah, Ruck. The one's probably Chief Gha. Yep. And then 13 of this.

Well, I mean, I can also detect humanoids. And Red drops right back down to the ground, puts his ear against it again and closes his eyes. There's somewhere between 40 and 50. It's hard for you. Could be prisoners. Oh, my God. He opens his eyes once again.

Gents, there are almost 40 to 50 humanoids inside there. Not just that red. There are four more approaching you right now from the north. And in fact, as you raise your head and you tell your party members about all of the humanoids that are present at the hill giant encampment, you hear the sound of careless footsteps coming from the northwest of you. They're not visible from you yet, but you can tell that they're approaching you for a fun. And I totally thought you were going to say careless whisper. Well, we're in Lehman's tiny hut, so they can't see us, right? Yeah.

That's right. You are currently not visible to them. Just a brown dome. So I turn to the others and I say, no, no, I'll do that. There are full humanoids approaching. And Doran begins to leave the hut. No, no, no, wait. Oh, what?

And I stop you. We have an opportunity here. They can't see us inside this. Right, right. Maybe we should use it as an ambush or get an attack of opportunity as they pass. That's right. I forgot about that. Let me inhabit Kieran and go see who they are, just to get a good eye.

I'm a good idea. Regardless, I'm going to ready my bow. So Kieran yons and stretches and then takes to the sky. Yeah, and I'll close my eyes and jump into their body with them as we go explore. They sort of flying squirrel it from tree to tree to try to stay out of sight. And as Kieran gets maybe about 100 feet, just northwest of your hut, they see four bug bears. Tall, hairy figures in hide armor. Two of them have brown fur. Two of them have like reddish orange type fur.

And they're all carrying baskets. Their backs are slung with wicked looking weapons. And Kieran spies that they have vegetables in these baskets. And they're chatting to each other. Boca, bugabooka, bugger, bugger, bug bear. What are they saying? Do you speak Goblin? No, I don't.

You don't know what they're saying? I don't know what they're saying. Other than it's a language, I don't understand. So I will, Kieran, stay there. I don't know. I'm going to wake up. That's what I'm really trying to say. You have about 20 seconds before they're on your position, just to make this fairly clear. So less than baking scones. Yes, you're not going to bake some scones. I feel like baking scones is a unit of measure.

The four bug bears carrying baskets of vegetables and chatting among themselves. They get some pretty scary weapons, but they're not ready for trouble. Now, interesting. Just out of curiosity, what direct, like, would you say that they're heading in the direction towards the giant mound. Yes. You're between them and this

hill giant fortress. Well, do you know what that means that they're offering some sort of payment? We need to interrogate these things. They're speaking goblin.

Maybe they work right with the giants. I agree with you, Red, but it doesn't matter. The most important thing is let's kill three and interrogate one. So now you can start

to see them through the trees they're about 30 feet away from you. Yeah, I think we should ready and do a surprise round of attack. Agreed. You guys want to attack? Yeah. Let's do it. Everybody, roll initiative.

Bum, Bum, Bum, B'am. D'A. Red, what's your total? 10. Doren? 17. Crayloth? 17 as well.

Who's first? Doran. Jack? 10. Do you want to go before Red or after Red? Red can go before me. A couple of ties. Okay.

Doran, as you stand ready for these bug bears, you see them through the trees. They're moving toward you, but they don't seem to have noticed you yet. Doran has his shield in hand, but is able to plant one hand down with his other hand holding his axe. He looks up and begins to immediately sprint directly at one of the bug bears. Okay, so Doran, you sprint toward these creatures. Perfect. What do you do? As I'm about six feet away, I raise my axe and bring it down into the nearest bug bear.

You said there's four bug bears? There are four of them, yes. Okay, so the closest one. They look at you with shock and one of them drop. a big bushel of carrots as you attack it. Yeah. Roll the hit. Perfect.

25 to hit. Nice. Yeah, that hits. 13 damage. Great. And I hit the bug bear right in the chest. And then again with a 19 to hit. 12 more damage.

Cool. I kind of hit him in the chest and then the legs. Nice. Ha! Give me those veggies. Grayloth, your friend, Doren, charges out from the hut and just start slashing at these creatures. What do you do? I am right on his heels. As he runs out, I follow up behind and he slashes one and I hit the same

one with my new glowing mace. Shwing, shwing. Cool. Something about battle. That just great way to start the day. Says Doran through a bloody smile. That is a 14. Does a 14 hit? No, that misses. Oh, and I miss. My mace goes wide. but I stand side by side with Doran staring down these bug bears and do they look more shocked or evil or both do they I mean Crailof is kind of of two minds that we're just

you know ambushing these guys what if they're shocked and evil Red it's your turn Oh right Red steps out of Lehman's tiny hut He pulls back on his bow and I'm gonna fire at the one that Dorn hit Before I do let the arrow fly I will cast Hunter's Mark is a bonus action.

Okay. Just to really hammer this guy home. And I'm going to use a sharpshooter penalty. So that is a 22 to hit. That hits. Nice. 29 damage to the one in the front. Yeah, what does it look like when you kill it?

Red appears out of nowhere because he steps out of Lehman's tiny hut. And the arrow just sings right through the one in the front as he falls back into the other one. He doesn't stumble him, but the other one is just covered in black blood on his face with a look of surprise. I'm going to attack again. Can there also be like a bunch of apples skeered perfectly onto the arrow? Yeah, it's like a shish kebab of vegetables. Yes, 100% yes. Ready for the friar.

I'm going to do this with a penalty again. 21 to hit. Yes, sir. And that's only going to be 16 damage. Jack, it's your turn. Jack steps forward outside of the Liamon's tiny hut. so it disappears behind him, and he reaches out with his hand

towards the one that Red just hit and sort of just beckons forth the soul from inside that bug where, coaling the dead, it can make me a wisdom-saving throw for DC-15. I'm rolling Callan on this one. Come on, Callan.

Yeah. 13. 13 will not do it. Boo. So that's 2D12, which 22. Damage? Yeah, you suck the soul out of this creature. Yeah, I think there's just,

It leaves through those arrow wounds into my fingertips that I sort of catch it on as it arrives. So that's the end of the round one, wherein the bug bear did not attack because they were surprised. Doran, it's your turn again. So you raced up. You swung your axe. I chopped at the one bug bear a few times. Yeah. And then you were joined by your friend Kralath.

Then an arrow sang between the two of you, skewered a bug bear. And then the other one just collapsed as it. soul left its body. There are two remaining. What do you do? Yeah, attack one of the remaining bug bears. He's carrying potatoes. This one is one of the brown furred. This is my preferred vegetable.

So I'm going to use that as an advantage. Potato inspiration. But I attack, I'm just going to do both my attacks at once here. Okay, so I fail one with a 10, but the other one is a 25 or something. That'll do it. And so I'll attack that one. That's a nine points of damage. Great. Kralath. What do you do? Okay, so seeing Doren attack the one, I'm going to look to the other one and I'm going to try to grapple it.

Ooh, cool. Okay. So that's going to be my strength versus their dexterity or strength. Is that how it works? Yep. So I got a 15 to grapple. Unless it's... I rolled a 12. Hey, okay. So you successfully grapple. Yeah, yeah. I reach my big arms around. it and I just give it this big bear hug as it tries to squirm away. Still kind of surprised at what's going on. Yeah, so it's speed becomes a zero.

You have this creature in a big bear hug. A bug bear hug. A big bug bear hug. It's their turn. One of them is going to try to hit Doran with its morning star. Let's see it. You are my morning star. 12 to hit.

Nope. So that's a miss. And then the other one is going to try to break the grapple with you. Okay. So you have to roll another check. Okay. D.C. is nine. That's a natural one.

Oh, nice. And I think the time has come. Kellen. My stormy gray-blue dye, you have failed me enough times. I am shaming you. Shame. For shame. Which means because Kallin is one of our great old ones supporters, we are going to mail that dye to Kellen.

So remember, if you want to. one of our shamed I, join us on Patreon. Sorry, Kellen. Okay. So the bug bear remains grappled by you, Kralath. You are just too burly, too big and burly for this creature. I'm a burly man. Red, it's your turn.

I will kill the one that is swung at Doran. And I will be shooting with a penalty again. Rolled Christopher on this one. And Christopher gave me an 18 plus three. Nice. That certainly hit. Well done, Christopher. You wouldn't be shamed any time soon.

The crowd goes wild. 26 damage. Wow. You kill it. Bam. And can I spend a moment, I have a second attack, but I still have a movement as well. Can I just, I know it doesn't speak common, but I would like to make an intimidating look.

I want to take a few steps towards it. Draw my bow back. You don't know it doesn't speak common. We know it does speak goblin. Precisely. That's fair. You're right. I'm sorry.

And I'm going to just say in common. You You've lost What do I want to say? Red starts stuttering like me. I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got. Lay down your weapons. I'm red.

Lay down your weapons. We've got you. Your friends are dead. Make an intimidation check with advantage. I can't believe how long. It was so funny. You and your brother are very much. More than you want to admit.

because I was thinking in my brain and then I totally rather than red. You were hanging in your brain? I love the picture, though. I love the picture of that actually happening to Red where he gets like kind of like, like that like kid, like, have you ever had a dream that you could like

that you could that you could do that you could do that that you could do that that you could do that that you could do that you could do that you could do that that you could do that you could that you could do for intimidation. Uh, I rolled the same on both die, which is a 14, so that gives me a 17. Yeah, okay.

You see a look of fear across his creature's features, and then he drops his arms and stops struggling against Kralath. And he says, If you let me go, I'll tell you anything you need. You speak common. You speak common, too. Yes, well, come. We pull him off to the side in sort of some bushes, just so we're a little bit off the beaten track in case more bug bears are coming by. He sort of, like, indignantly, like, pulls his arm out of your grasp and, like, walks with you willingly. Like, he doesn't want to be restrained by you, but he'll come with you wherever you want.

And we'll take his weapon, obviously. Yeah, yeah. You take his morning star and his javelins. Why were you heading to the hill giants? Chief Gah's been working with the goblinoids in the countryside and a lot of the orcs, too. So I guess I'm for hire. So you were delivering this food? Yeah.

What's your name? My name's Muknor. They just let you walk in there? I mean, I don't know if they just let me walk in there. It's pretty heavily guarded, but yeah. pretty much. What do you know about the place? Tell us everything.

Please. Well, Chief Gah is the biggest thing I've ever laid eyes on. Runs the place. She's been hiring us to bring her as much food as possible. I think she's just really hungry or I don't really know what's going on. But the more food you bring, the better. Was she behind the attack on Goldenfield? I don't know that.

Do you know any of the giants in there by name or any of them that you've spent any time with whatsoever? No, the giants are pretty. they keep to themselves. Anything that's smaller than them, they don't think, is very important. Chief Gah, she sits on this big wagon. I don't know. I've never seen her get up or move. I think she's probably too big for that. She's always holding onto this big shell, clutching it jealously to her chest. What about the way in? Obviously, there's the sort of open gate area. I remember seeing that there was a fenced-in area. Are there any other ways in to the hill giants encampment? I mean, good luck. It's really well-guarded, but just to be clear, you're going to let me go after this, right?

I mean, sure. Okay, cool. You don't want to go back there. No, I'm going to be piecing out. How much are they paying you? They're promising us shares of whatever we loot, so it's not more than I couldn't get on my own. It's mostly just... A couple of potatoes. Look, take these ones.

When you enter, do they ask you any questions? Do they just let you go by? Is there any sort of security measures? There's a group of hobgoblins on watch at the watchtower that alert the den of anyone who's approaching. If there's any trouble, they'll let everybody know about it. We usually go in through the stockyard. That's where the orcs keep sheep for the chief gu. So you enter through the stockyard.

Yeah, we go up the main entrance. There's a big giant at the front doors. He rolls a boulder, if any weird stuff happens. And then there's the main hall. That's where chief gu is. Where do you deliver the food? Right there. Yeah. There's some holes. It's a disgusting room. Holes in the floor, 20 feet in diameter or bigger. Lead down into a pit that definitely contains pigs. You can smell them and hear them.

But other than just the hobgoblins watching, no one impedes you from heading towards the chief with the baskets of food. No. I mean, usually there are a lot of her husbands in the room, you know, tending to her and keeping her happy and fed. Are they only asking for the help of goblinoids, or are there local human bandits that are helping as well? Other races. I haven't seen any folks like you around. You would definitely stick out. Let me put it that way. And let me just interject here, because now Doren, who's been quiet and off to where the rest of the bug bears that are dead lie, he has skinned one and is wearing the flesh and he walks over to you guys, this might be a way we can walk in.

Oh, my God, Doran! What's a disgusting? Muckinor stands up and he's like, that's enough. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, no, no. Doran doesn't actually skin the bug bear. I'm just joking.

We don't have been a whole separate, lawful good no longer. We don't want to have an hour-long discussion about alignment right now. But on that, is there anything else this guy can tell us? Yeah, no. He's just kind of like, all right, well. Well, I held up my part of the bargain, so. So there's nothing else he can tell us? No.

Okay, fine. All right, get out of here, you bum. And I will... Peace. Push him off. Peace. Into the woods. He said peace.

What a nice bug bear. Glad we didn't kill and skin him. All right, let's get out of here. All right. Okay, so now that you guys know kind of what's going on in this hill giant fort, what are you going to do next? So the notes that I made were that we got a bit of the layout. We know that they... have contacted all the goblins, and I assume other monsters of the area, to help them with

their food. What orcs for sure we know are hanging out with the sheep? That's right. We got hobgoblins that are guide in the front entrance. We know that they can enter through the stockyard. We know that there are holes 20 feet wide on the floor of the main sort of chieftain area, and we also know that she sits on a wagon but doesn't really move. Was the bugbear sort of implying that she's like, heavy set?

Yeah. Okay. I wash myself with a rag on a stick. me around. Basically. And she has a shell that she's holding on to that she doesn't let go out. A magic conch, the peace conch. I mean, my interpretation, I wasn't know, because he said she was so big.

I didn't know if he was saying, like, she's intimidating or just. That's got to be a magic item, Kralov says, as he's flipping his mace up and down. That conch, that's got to be how she holds power over everybody else. Logically, if this chieftain is as large and sort of immovable, then obviously the hill giants don't value strength necessarily. So maybe you're right, maybe this shell does have some sort of power. And what are the holes in the floor? Is that maybe to feed the pigs and they eat the pigs? I got the impression that maybe it was sort of a, everything folds down that the hill giants don't eat.

Hmm. Interesting. We do have intel in the sense that we know that goblins were to deliver these baskets of food, and the foods are still here. So obviously, as you said, minor illusion wouldn't allow us to look like goblins. Is there any other way we could disguise ourselves? Well, I just thought about this, actually. You know, these bug bears and everything's approaching from the land, what if we approached from across this lake?

You know, that can be a way to kind of sneak up. We did just find a ring of swimming that does feel very convenient. That's right. That we would find that. You caught a glimpse of this fortress or this outpost on the shore of the lake last night as you were settling in to sleep. Right. So you know that you can look at it.

from where you are. And maybe that's what Doran suggests. Well, instead of standing over here in the woods, why don't we stand over there on the edge of the lake? Maybe just crouch in the bushes in case they do have any lookouts. Does anybody here good at swimming? We could scout it out, see if there's any other way, get a little bit closer. I crawl down to the edge of the water.

Yeah, I'll join. I mean, why not? As long as we're stealthy and we're sort of remaining quiet. The tree's thin as you approach the water's edge. Your boots and paws crunch lightly on the... fallen leaves and dry pine needles. Sunlight catches the ripples of small waves. The shore

is bereft of pond greenery, naked of cat tails or the wild rice you would expect along the shoreline of a small lake. A duck glides by. It's very peaceful here. Not so farther on down the shoreline. About half a mile from where you stand as the raven

flies, an industrious-looking complex sits on the very shore of this small lake propped up by a mess of timber, looking for all the world like a gigantic beaver dam. The land all around the complex is shorn of its trees, presumably consumed by the building of this massive outpost. The main building is roofed with stacks of logs,

and a wide chimney sends out spirals of thick smoke even this early in the morning. A rough dock extends out from this building into the water. To the west of the main hall atop a rocky bluff, a log watch tower juts up out of the horizon. From your distance, its occupants can barely be seen moving around their post. If we took out this chief, do you think that maybe the others would sort of fall in line? Wouldn't that sort of exemplify our point and break down a little bit of what we're worried about, keeping these giants organized?

Maybe that should be our goal. Take her out of commission. I don't know. It seems to me that giants work differently than, you know, goblins or something, where they just follow the leader. But you could be right. I just don't know. The bug bear made it seem like she had many different husbands, which is very clear that she is definitely on the tippy top of this garbage heap. What do you think, Jack?

So, I mean, if it is that shell has the power and we could get it away from her, I could get it far away. I have a little brain idea, which is what I call an idea. Where do you think of it? In my tail, which is cut off. The bug bears were carrying large baskets of fruits. If we decided to pick these up and brought them to the chieftain, obviously told the hobgoblins that we had gifts. for their leader and offered them a bit of this peace offering,

we might be able to get close enough to do something. We did get a mace that helps Kralath lie. But he's not very good at it. Yeah, that definitely would work if we do get close enough to her if they actually let us get there. And it's a risk. We would be risking the fact

that they just might not want to work with humans at all. What are we going to bring inside that they want? Potatoes. Yeah, but they've already got their own army of bug bears and goblins that are bringing them potatoes. They probably don't care

about us. I mean, the other option is to go in through the basement. Obviously, these large 20-foot holes are a way to get up as well. Muckner made a big deal out of the hobgoblins in the tower raising the alarm and not being the big way for everybody to get activated.

How far away can you take out the hobgoblins in a... Now, you listen here. I can take them away from anywhere. Really, Red? It seems better than negotiation. I don't think negotiation is going to go very well if we just walk in.

I don't think so either. Let's first define what I want is. We established that we don't want to kill everyone. So is our goal to take the shell away from the chief? It depends what the shell does. So ultimately, I believe that our goal here is to take out the chieftain. If we remove the chieftain, I believe that the systematic way these hill giants have sort of co-founded this now home will hopefully dissipate. Jack, what do you think?

From my knowledge of nature, is it possible that damming up this river has resulted in the poor harvests and belliard in the surrounding area? Why don't you make a nature check? I rolled a 10, my modifier's 10, so 20. First off, from your observations of the wildlife and the vegetation around the shore of this lake, given that there are no cat-tailed. else here, no wild rice. It becomes clear to you that this is a recent lake. Yeah, I don't have it on any of my maps. This giant fortress is clearly damning the river.

So you would assume that this has definitely affected all the communities downstream. That would probably be relying on this river for sustenance. So this orients us a little bit. We need to remove this dam. That's an actual goal that will save people. And we need to cut off the head of the snake here and get chief good to disband this fortress. All right. So we have a objective. Remove the building and kill the chieftain. Yeah. Great. I think we can all agree on that. Perfect.

Now, how to do it? Oh, thank Lathanda. That was only a joke. Doren's getting a bug bear. Well, that was be a waste of good meat. Make sure you leave us a good review. And thanks again to our great old one Patreon supporters, Kellyn Holman, Christopher, Ryan Evans, and of course, Adam Frey. You make doing this great.

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