Dice Shame - 4 | 'A Bridge too Far'

Episode Date: November 7, 2019

New arrivals in Nightstone make the party nervous as they decide what to do... Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. There’s nothing quite like getting together with your close friends on game night, getting the snacks out, and rolling some dice together. Right now we’re playing through Storm King’s Thunder, an adventure for D&D 5th edition. Like the games we play at home, we try not to take ourselves too seriously. The show is entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. As for the eponymous Dice Shame? When the rolls get cold—well, you’ll have to tune in to find out! Episodes are released every Thursday at 1:20 am. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you think these Zantaria are going to kill these people? Yes! Just dump it down its skullets! And you hear the scream of one of your friends getting hacked by an axe? Screw you! Dice! Another situation where I'm on the ground for the fight. If I could talk Mata for a second. Mata? Raleaf's down!

Make a save against death. It's a bad day to be here. It's a bad day to be the rest of the town spokes trapped in a goblin cave. It's a bad day. And I'm mad about it. Welcome back to Dice Shame. A Bridge Too Far, that doesn't vote well, does it? Too far for me.

MVP this week is Aisha Lyle for her amazing efforts and community support. Make sure you join the Dice Shame Facebook group, because she makes that thing look good. And of course, this last Saturday was Extra Life 2019, where we raised over $1,000 with the help of you. are community and fans. Thank you so much, guys. You are amazing, and I am still tired. All right, are we ready to do this? Yes, we are.

A male human voice. You can tell these things by voices, right? Yeah, oh, yeah. Doesn't sound like a dragon tongue. Echoes up from the dark courtyard. You hear the pacing footsteps of horseshoes in the cobblestown. stone square. Calla, darling,

what have you done to the place? Who is that? She turns to you. There's a wry smile playing across her face. That's Zulkin. Anyway, we'd best go downstairs. He'll tear the place apart looking for me. And she picks up her crossbow and brushes past the two of you,

Kraloth and Doren, as you have been climbing the stairs to the Oh, hello. Who the... She's as in Taryn, apparently. That's... Red, please. That's not something we just brandy about all over the place. I thought I could trust you. Oh, I mean, what I know, they know, especially Kralov.

He's my best friend. Keller, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you as well. This is your friend out in the courtyard, I say. I've got my mace out. I've got my shield out. The goblins on the ground. We're not in any danger anymore.

Doren kind of storms, Pat. on not paying attention much, really, because he's on his mission looking for signs of his friend Morac. If I could just investigate the top floor. Of course you can. Yeah, let's do that real quick. I guess survival. I'm rolling.

You don't have to investigate role just to like open the door to a room and see what's in there. But if you wanted to like, you know, go through a chest and see if there's a false bottom, that's an investigation rule. You know what I mean? Then, I mean, I'm not rolling to find out which was his room. I think that's easy enough one to find, but I am still looking for signs of had he left, if he's still here and dead, or whatnot.

So I think that's kind of where I'm going with the role. In the northwest corner of the building, it's one of the ones that have been partially flattened by a falling rock. You find a room that you easily identify as morocs, being that there is a tapestry depicting a mountain landscape on the east wall and there's a locked wooden chest

on what remains of the floor that is safe to walk on on the southeast corner. Well, I would open that with a whack-of-my battle axe. Yeah, you're going to just like break it open with your axe. Yeah. That's sick. It just takes a few minutes.

So you're going to attack the lock or attack the chest itself? Well, the part that the lock is on is attached to wood. Like that area. Why don't you roll to hit? Okay. So 17.

Imagine that be just string. Your aim is true. I wanted to see if he accidentally demolished some part of the chest harming its contents. That's kind of why. It's a good deal. Or whether he like very accurately just knocked the lock off. Okay. So you successfully open this chest without dealing too much damage to the contents.

You find some very interesting things in here. Morac himself. He's stuffed in there. You've helped me, cousin. You find a suit of chain mail sized for a dwarf. You find a dwarven helm. You find a leather bag that holds

45 gold and two 100 gold piece gemstones and a potion. Fuck, yeah. I'll take it all. Meanwhile, Kella trips down the stairs lightly and exits the front door of the inn. I think of the moment just to try and pull red aside as we're walking down

and Kralath is draw a gape on the floor from the stairs. This is the Xenterum. They're bad news. Well, why are we here? Let's just leave. Let them do their thing. We don't want anything from her. I've got to go to the keep. Yes, but I don't think they're in our way. What did he mean when he said

what are you done with the place? Do you think that she's responsible for this? No, I just think he didn't realize that the giants would attack. Nobody shows up and sees a place like this. Doren comes out of the room and joins the three of you. Did you find more? No, but I found signs that he left in a hurry. He's got his chain mail here. Plus, I found some other things. But we should get moving. What's, who, what's this woman? What, what, what's

going on here? She's a zantarum. Apparently, they're a pretty bad deal. I don't know the zantarum, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, why bother then? Let's just leave. I mean, we know where the humans are. They're in a cave nearby. If you want to go to the keep, I'm down with that, but I don't think we need to bother. Don't you want to know what their intentions are? Not really If you're okay with it Red then I'm okay with it I don't need to know

It's like the goblins in my mind We wanted to let them be Why not let these people be She didn't ask anything of us In fact I think it might be wise If we steer clear I'll leave it up to you I don't know much about the Zantorum

And I don't know much about these two people I know nothing about the Zantarum Though they might have some more information About the giants She told us that a giant cloud Came overhead A fortress was upon it What?

And that giants threw boulders down at the city killing your dear friend and I'm sorry about that Jack by the way I did not realize that we actually were dealing with giants here I'm going to write a quick letter just a just a quick note out of some paper in my bag that just says this is Jack page I'm here with friends do you need help and fold it up and give it to Kieran my owl and get him just say fly it over find someone in the keep and and give this to them and Kieran is extremely helpful Kieran is a very hopeful. Wow, what a great idea.

It is nice to have a Faye spirit in the form of an owl as a friend for life. Okay, Kieran takes your rolled up parchment, scrawled with this message, and flies over toward the keep through the darkness. You hear the murmuring tones of people having a conversation out in the square. Are the goblins attacking them? No. We know there are goblins in the cornfield to the right of the inn. and they are below it. That's pretty much

with an earshot, isn't that? So that seems odd, right? So maybe the Zentorum had something to do with the goblins coming in and sweeping the place clean. She was here, but then it doesn't explain

the dead goblin. I think that's a bit of a stretch. My guess is that they've heard men on horseback come in and goblins aren't going to mess. There's four goblins in this town from what we know.

They didn't really mess with us. Like, we went in. It was the war that attacked us and then we went in and killed it. Yeah, I guess that's true. It just seems odd. Yeah, no, I agree with you, but... Honestly, it's difficult for me to justify speaking with them.

I totally leave it up to you, Jack. You seem the only person to know the most about the Centaurum. If I could talk M-A for a second. It would be on... Meta? Meta? Meta. M-E-T-A. It's how you pronounce it. Whatever. It's... Okay. Alex. I think someone should just be listening out the window

to what these people are talking about. I mean, I think we're about to go down there. I would like to know more about giants if they know about what happened here, it might be interesting to find out why there are giants attacking a town. You're not wrong. Obviously, this Zantarum, at the very least,

knew Kala, and she wants to speak to him. She invited us down. Let's go talk. Did she know your friend here? She was the steward, the lord steward of the town. I'm sure everyone who've been through here of some significance knew her name.

I don't know what the significance is other than the Zantarum has interest in this town. My friend is dead. Giants dropped rocks on her from the sky. It's a bad day to be here. It's a bad day to be the rest of the town spokes trapped in a goblin cave. It's a bad day.

And I'm mad about it. Well, let's make it a bad day all round. Let's go down and say hello. And Red's going to head down. There's one thing I need to do first. I'll be down in a second. Okay, but make sure you flush this time. There's no indoor plumbing.

Oh, sorry. Back where I come from. Just cover the pot. Okay, so Red, Doren, and Jack all head outside. Yes. Kraloff, what do you do? I'm going to take Bido's limp form and pick it up from where I dropped it off. I forgot about him.

I totally forgot about him. And I'm going to bring him up into one of the bedrooms. Oh, boy. Oh, no. This is going to get dark. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I'm going to find a wardrobe, I guess, or an armoire. I'm going to place them inside.

And I'm going to say, this is where you'll be safest right now. We got bigger fish to fry, little buddy. He slumps forward seemingly thankful in his unconsciousness. Yeah, yeah. And I closed the door and I'd make my way back down. All right. Goblin in the wardrobe. I read that book.

That's C.S. Lewis, isn't it? It's a classic. You make your way out of the inn that has been partially demolished by sky boulders. And you find yourself standing in the darkness in the middle. in the middle of this settlement's square. You see about half a dozen humans. There are seven horses. Six of them are still mounted by their riders.

The seventh has no rider because he has dismounted and has thrown his arm over his saddle and is very casually talking to Kella. He is a man with a sort of pompadour-type hairstyle. He appears to be maybe a half-elf. with dark eyes and a leather coat. He's kind of a greaser-looking guy. As you watch, the snake that had wound itself around Kella's arm

slowly extends its length down her forearm and her hand and crosses the six-inch gap between her and this man and makes its way to sit on his shoulder. And you see now in the moonlight that the snake has wings. Ooh. Winged snake. A thirpest have a good vibe, though. Thurpent.

Hello. And this man turns to you and says, Hail and well met. And well met to you. You are a handsome man. If I do says, her myself. Crayloth, isn't he handsome? He's a good-looking fellow, Red.

Zolkin, please, to meet your acquaintance. Keller was just telling me all about you. Oh, the pleasure is ours. This is, of course, Kralath and my best friend, Jack. And this is Daurin. I quite fond of him. he uh nods friend lily at you friend lily

hello lily and he says what a mess this place isn't it quite it seems like keller told us quite the tale about what happened uh you two the drop bridge please we don't want any more visitors and uh two of his guardsmen i suppose ride off towards the drawbridge, and as you watch, they hop down off of their horses, enter the guardhouses that flank the drawbridge, and then you hear the clanking of chains as they raise it up.

Are you worried about more goblins? Well, yes, we certainly don't want more of them, though, I mean, really, what's a goblin amongst friends? D&D jokes. I didn't get it. I mean neither. What do you mean amongst friends? Oh, I just mean they won't cause as much trouble.

Keller said there's not more than ten running around. No, the pretty small we dispatched a few hours and then we'll be fine. So, have you made it up to the keep yet? No, no. You seem eager. Keller's like, well, there's just the matter of a few guards to deal with and then the place will be ours. The stone, fuck, just that's why you're here, right? What?

That has to be it. So this is the first time you've mentioned the stone. Yeah, I forgot about it for a minute. Then my brain caught up to me. Jack, what's the stone? And we've talked about it. Roll perception for me. Yeah.

Natural 20. Oh, nicely done. There once was a stone here in the middle of town. This is what Lady Nandar wrote to you about excitedly, a stone that was carved with runes, whose magical aura was unable to be defined by any magic user that she knew of, something that you were excited to examine for yourself. There is a five-foot hole in the middle of this square that you can see in the moonlight. You do not see any kind of stone.

The giants must have taken it, but what would the stone have to... Dolken, why are you guys... What's the Zentherom want here? I mean, it's obvious, my dear man. You seem like an intelligent sort. Yeah, but the elves are going to be a problem if you move in. No, we'll deal with them. We raise the drawbridge and we'll post a guard. It's just the location is so good. I have a proficiency called stone cunning, which I would love to try and add on to learn a bit

of the history about this knight stone. Whenever I make an intelligence history check related to stonework, would this be considered stonework? It would be if you were able to look at the stone. You could definitely go over there and look at the place where it used to rest. Maybe there'd be some fragment of it left over from when it was cracked out of the ground. Add double your proficiency bonus instead of your normal proficiency bonus. Sure. Yeah, you can roll. So I will do that.

You cross the square. Oh, wow. Oh, no. Get the jar. Get the jar. Get the jar. Screw you. That's the second time it changed you. That's the one that you pulled out. And you rolled one again on it.

Can't tell a rock from a hole in the ground. No, no, no, no. Purple one was the yellow one. Is that the yellow one? That's the one he threw. Yeah. That dice is giving you trouble. That's cursed.

You know what? Justin and Rob and Joe have not rolled any ones and you've rolled two ones on that one. You should be ashamed of yourself. Oh. You little. Um, you don't, you don't know anything about this stone. It's just a big hole in the middle of the ground. And it kind of makes you sad.

You would have liked to. Can we just clarify for a second? I want to make sure that I didn't misunderstand this. The Zantarama are here to collect the stone from the castle? Nothing to do with the stone. I was completely wrong. Oh, because you went to stone and I got confused. No, because Jack was completely wrong because he forgot about the stone.

Gotcha. Then remembered it, then assumed Zulkin was here for it because it was important and about here. Then found the hole and assumed the giants took it. Gotcha. And then asked Zulkin what the fuck he was doing if it wasn't about the stone because what else would be important here. And then Zulkin told us it was strategically important to have the

fort and that he was going to deal with the elves by pulling the drop bridge up is what I got so far from that That's what I gather too I mean Look at this moat Look at these walls So you only want this place for its

Castle aspect It's close to water deep and very defensible Well now what about the people that have left They live here They're gone But I'm very fortuitous Don't you think Hell of right

Now don't they want to come back there I mean, ultimately, when the giant... They'll find a new place to live. Oh, I see. This guy's a fucking asshole. Oh, yes. Excuse me? A fucking asshole.

My friend comes from a faraway land where that isn't an insult, but I know that here it is. No, no. He doesn't mean that. In fact, he calls... In his land, they called animals, aminals. How ridiculous. That is true. Right.

But no, I meant fucking asshole because what you're doing here... Sort of like he meant fucking asshole the same way you and I would say friend or animal. They say fucking asshole or aminals. Come on, come on, come on. Understood. At this point, Kieran returns with a scrap of parchment. When you unroll it underneath where you had written, does anyone need my help? It says there are four of us in the keep.

The lady is dead. this owl glides in in the night and drops this letter off in jack you're going to hog wards now i mean you're a wizard i've i've heard it all i've grown up a wizard my whole life every one of these very familiar to me but i unwrapped the letter from my owl anyways and jack's face just drops like it's just it's confirmation of everything kella told him it's sad news but he will he will sort of pass it around, I think, to everybody, just to, just to sort of wait till everybody's seen the letter to see, like, there are four people who need our help in the castle. And I think Red would sort of look at Kralath, and we, you know, we've been in a situation like this before

similarly, and we want to do the right thing. And I say, yeah, well, listen, you mentioned that you wanted to go across the keep and finish the people that went in there, yes? Yeah, so what's that scroll all about? Oh, no, this is just, um, Recipe. From an owl? It's how to cook Dragon stew. It's a long family recipe.

Roll deception for me? Yeah. All right. Even I didn't buy that. Deception is a 20, dirty 20. Okay, he's like... Dirty.

I haven't heard of it, but it sounds pretty good. I don't know if you noticed, but the bridge is out. Luckily, those four of us. That's a pretty strong adventurous. Why don't we go over and clear out those pesky people? Do your favor? Let's go, uh, let's go see about the bridge. Yeah.

And he, Kella, and the six other, uh, bandits will call them, and their horses all travel across to where the bridge is about the four of us a little bit. I'm going to pull Jack aside. or I guess loud enough to say everyone. If things go south, how big of a cloud do you think you could create an illusion of? I can do it.

I can make a real cloud. No, that's my... I got that one. I just mean to say that I think maybe these boys would get a little wet in the heels if they thought these giants were coming back. I can shroud them and mist

and shout in giant. And I think a bit of thermatage would help too. Would giants ever work for someone? I don't think so. I have no knowledge. Only the language from stories. I mean, there's so many.

Giants are like people that's like saying would humans ever work? Some of them are lovely people like ourselves. Some of them are Zantarum. People, giants, we're just... Let me ask you this then. Do you ever think the Zantarum could somehow entice the giants to work for them? That doesn't seem likely. Genuinely, despite being a fucking asshole, when the guy showed up, it seemed like he was surprised.

The place was in a mess. There are four people who could be friends or family of my friend living in that castle. and now these bandits have come and they're about to kill them. That can't happen. Let's help the friends. I think we should try to get over there by ourselves. Tell the Zantaram to stay here.

That way we can let them out in any number of ways. If it doesn't work, I think maybe trying to create some illusion to drive some of the, at least some of the Zantarim off would be a good idea. No, they've risen the drawbridge. I imagine they would seek shelter in one of the houses. And I kind of gesture around.

No one else did that. They knew. As you hang back and convert, Those of you who can see in the darkness watch as Zolkin mounts his horse trots back a little ways and then takes a running leap and the horse sails across the broken part of the bridge. And as all four of the horses hooves land on the intact part of the bridge, he gives a whoop of joy. So you don't want us to help you then. We'll be fine. This is fine.

This is not fine. Do you think these Zantaria are going to kill these people? Yes. What are the Zentara I'm wearing? Does anyone have the ability to sort of suss out how combat savvy these people are? Yes, I have suss out combat savvy. No, but there is... They're wearing leather armor.

No, but there is an ability that Ranger has that you can... It's for the monster slates. That's right. You can tell if they're like a level... I'm going to guess... Zulkin's got some studded leather. Not fucking around. Okay.

All right. Well, what about... Level one not fucking around? What about this? He's just split the party. But if we can't take the others. Can I just do a, do they look tough? You know, like, is that a, you know,

insight or a... They're humanoids. Oh, right. I have advantage on information about them. Intelligence. Yeah, you do. Okay. Roll intelligence.

Intelligence. That is a 15 plus... What is it? Intelligence. One. And what do you want to know? 16. Honestly, I just want to know how.

how combat ready these guys are. If in a level sense, are they above, below, at, you know, some... In other words, you're like, yeah, you think we could take them? Literally, I'm like sizing them up. I'm like, do you take these guys? They look more brave than the goblins are, but they don't look necessarily more capable. Okay, well, that's a good sign because those goblins fucking sucked. Seven of them?

Six now. There's six plus Kela plus Zulkin. Weapon-wise, are they all ranged in melee or just that? Simitars and light crossbows. Yeah, that's both. Why don't we wait till half get across? I'm thinking that, or three get across so that they've got an advantage on the other side. So wait until half get across and then fire and attack and draw back into the, into the courtyard, because they'll follow us.

And Kralov gets a grin on his face, just a slight grin. What do you think? And we all share a knowing. look. I'm with the majority. Once the other half are across? There's four of us. I'm going to drop a cloud over there. They won't be able to see what's going on back.

Great idea. Bog cloud type thing? Yeah. Brilliant. It all casts thomatergy to shout, everything's fine over here. Nothing's going wrong. All right.

How are you? Yes. Let's do it. All right. Did you want to roll for initiative? Oh, fuck. Natural 20. Nice.

Nice. All right. So what's your total there? 22. I also rolled a natural 20. No, why? Okay. But my initiative is only plus one.

So 21. 18. Nice. 13. Oh. All in the double digits. Good job, bud. Oh, thanks, man.

Jack, it's your turn. We're waiting for half of them to jump across. Okay. So I think it's just pausing, waiting. Defering. So are you going to hold your action? Yeah. As soon as half of them are across, I'm going to drop a fog cloud over there.

That's my action. I'm ready for them. Okay. Doran. Can I reach the legs of a person on a horse? What do you mean? Can you reach? Well, I'm a dwarf. I think so.

A mounted rider. With a melee weapon? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I'll do that then. I'll be in a position where I'm within five feet of a rider who hasn't yet jumped across. So you're going to use your movement on this turn to get within melee range of a rider. Right.

And then once half of a ride. of the riders are across the gap in the bridge, you're going to use your action to chop at the legs of one of the people who has not yet crossed. Correct. Okay. Marvelous. And the way I'm thinking about it, it's like

it's not that big of you look, because they're not all galloping at once. No, they can only make it across one at a time, basically. Horses are large animals and this is not a wide bridge. Red? What do you do? I will

ready my action until Doran chop upset one, and I'll fire at that one, I guess. Okay, you're going to double up on the one being chopped. Probably. I mean, if the plan is to wait until they get over there and fog cloud is sort of in there, that doesn't make sense for me to try to attack. Mind you, it would take a whole one out if they could fall down. You know what?

Sorry, no. We're waiting until half get across. I'm going to wait until that one makes its move across, and I'm going to fire at it as it jumps. Okay, just to be clear about the placement of everyone on the board right now for people who are listening, Zolkin is across the gap. he's the only one who is a cross. Then we have Kella, who is next up, followed by six bandits.

So once the fourth bandit crosses, you're going to fire at him. Once the fourth bandit crosses? Yeah, four bandits on that side, three bandits and Keller on this side. Got it. Yeah, so once that fourth one jumps, I'm going to fire at him right as he jumps in hopes that him and the horse tumble off the edge. That sounds like a fun thing that could happen if you got a natural time. 20. You're just going to have to get a natural 20.

All right, I'll do it. Kralath. Kralath is just going to sway back and kind of look around and nod to the others. Yeah, I do a couple stretches. Ed, nod to Doren as they make eye contact. And then he's going to ready his action to run up and throw one of them in the water when the time comes. Wow. Okay.

Wow. So you're going to shove a guy on a horse. Would it be grappled? to, like, pull him off? I could do that. I'm six foot seven. You're a beefy boy. I'm a beefy boy.

We would be grappling. Grapple. Yeah. Perfect. And you're just going to pick the guy who's closest to you, pretty much. Yeah, once three of them are across, I'm going to run up.

You can only ready an action. You can't ready movement. So on this turn, you would have to move and get cozy with the guy that you're going to grapple. Right. I'll move with them. I'll get in line as if I'm getting ready to jump across to me.

Okay, cool. Yeah. It's the Bandit's time. So I'll move up here. Let's trigger all of these ready to actions. The bandits spur their horses and one by one leap across the gap. They have to back up a little bit so that their horses can get enough of a running start to do it.

But slowly they all start to cross the gap. What's everyone's passive perception? 14. 12. 11. Red, you notice some movement in the windows of the gate. keep as this is happening. Ooh, maybe we'll get some counterfire from the castle.

That'd be fun. So the third bandit jumps over. He's on a really nice, like, dappled white and brown pony. A Mustang. Oh, he's on a Mustang. Her name is Mustang Sally. So Mustang Sally leaps and time freezes, uh, matrix like. We're going to trigger all of these actions in order.

Jack, you cast fog cloud, which is a 20-foot radius cloud of fog. The tail end of the closest bit is on our side of the bridge, and so the whole gap and the whole 20 feet rest of the bridge is under fog. So if they're trying to move, if they're trying to back up and try to jump back, they can't see nothing. They are drenched in fog. What the fog? Fog you.

That's good. 18 plus. Good pun and good fogging. Yeah. But it maybe makes that one in the air. Good fogging fun. I mean, obviously they're not making rules to do it. But I feel like that would be tough to jump into nothing.

It's also going to be tough to shoot into nothing. Doran, you're going to chop someone with your axe. Correct. Do so. Yeah. 21 to hit. 21 hits. And it's going to be a six damage.

Hey, yeah. We have a bloody bandit. Nice. My fucking late. Did I hit a major artery? Oh, yes. A femoral artery. He's gushing. Spills down the side of the horse and the person cries out in the bright red spurts. Fear and anger. It's hard to see because it's dark out. So it's like black liquid just starts pouring down the side of this horse.

Are they all elves? Nope. They're all humans. They're humans and half elves. But the humans can see in the dark. This is dim light. Okay. Yeah.

Red, it's now your turn. Okay, so originally I was thinking I was going to fire before he jumped. So that way, like, the horse would be trying to stretch its leg and it would be like, and then fall off the edge. Unfortunately, because of the fog cloud, you're going to be rolling with disadvantage. Okay. Fifteen. That hits.

Okay. 10, 11 damage. You kill that guy. And he goes. Sure. And the horse makes. The horse still land? Yeah, that's all I care about, yeah.

That's the horse laughing. Oh, and imagine the scene on the other end where there's this fog. Just an empty horse comes through. That's so fucking dope. And you hear the scream of one of your friends getting hacked by an axe. Splush. Oh, my God. This would be such a horror for those people.

Terrifying. That's cool. Next, Krayloth, your action triggers. Okay, so very casually and watching, that, um, watching that scene unfold, I reach up my two big hands and I grab hold of the person on this, um, horse. The one who was chopped? No, no, this is a, the, the, the, the, the one in front of Kala. Ah, yes. And I'm just going to grab hold of her, it looks like, and throw her over the edge. Okay, let's make a strength contest. 15. 17. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. And,

Can I give my inspiration to someone? No. Unfortunately, the D20 was already rolled. But yes, you can give your inspiration away for a future reference. So you try to grab this person and pull them off of the horse and they kick you in the face in retaliation. So there are still two bandits on your side, correct? Three. No, two.

Kella and two bandits. Keller has her own initiative. Yeah. So those guys are going to. try to attack you now instead of crossing this divide. But we got one of them. You did. Nice.

Red. Would they have a disadvantage? Good shot. I'm just saying that we got one of them. Would they have a disadvantage? Yes. Why? Because we surprised them.

No. Oh. It's a fair question. It is fair. It's a question for sure. They're like, what the hell? We thought you weren't going to attack us. And then they missed us.

We totally let our guards down. The band. it who sustained this terrible axe wound pulls their scimitar free from their sheath can we get a sun effect in there just right there okay here we go wait listen to that that sounds fantastic wow it seems like a real thing rolling this dice in my hand for 40 seconds

it's going to attack uh dorin hits with a 17 nope Oh, misses. Misses. Clang off of your well-made dwarven armor. The bandit that was being pulled at by Krayloth tries the same move. That's a 15 to hit you? It does not hit.

I do not have my shield out, by the way. Okay. So not even. I don't have my shield out. And you still need me, bitch? Yeah. Exactly. And Kella is directly near whom?

Me. You also? Yeah. Great. So she's going to run over and try to hurt you. Bash me with her crossbow? Yeah, she's got multi-attack and a short sword. And you are within melee range of one of her friends.

So she gets to do a sneak attack. Oh, shoot. That's a natural 20. Oh, no. Here we go again. Fuck, yes. And that's an 11 plus 4 is 15, which misses you. So, the first attack, which is the crit, deals.

I'm so glad we have a mystery potion. Wow. Is this the end of Krala? Oh, it might be just another. Another situation where I'm on the ground for the fight. So she hits you with her short sword with sneak attack and doubles all of those damage dice. I guess it sounds like it. Oh, my God.

This could be it. If she deals more than double your maximum HP in one hit, you're dead. forever. Oh, fuck. What's your maximum MHP right now? 11. 11. She could absolutely roll 22 on this.

Well, let's just... I'm rolling 66. Come on. That's 16 on my first rule. Oh, this is not good for you. Nope. That's 21 damage. Oh, my God.

Yes. So you're down. Look at my dice. One, one, two on the next dice. Oh, no. So I'm not dead. Very close. Legit close.

Well, no, he's still dead, and we still have three other people to fight. And then the people across the bridge. It's Zulkin's turn. He spends his round unsure of what to do. He's on the other side of the bridge, and he, there's a huge rolling cloud of fog in between. He just yells, Keller, is everything all right? She goes, no, it's not fucking all right. get back over here right now and he tries to engineer a way through his bandits but they're all

clogging up the bridge and there are four horses five horses five horses uh yeah he can't get over there it is at this time that you hear what's going on down there and uh four guards emerge from the keep you don't see this but it's happening i wonder if if kieran my owl isn't encircling that half of the battle. Kieran's like, hey, Jack, there's some gods coming out. Thanks, Kieran. Jack, it's your turn. Kella's living large.

She's uninjured. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we better fix that. I think I'm going to pull the orb out of my hand and give it a little toss into the air. And as it's rolling through the air, it's catching starlight. And each star is reflecting out of it. Magic missiles flying one, two, three, all right at Kelly. Ooh.

Love it. Love it. 10 damage. Wow. She didn't like that. And I'm going to walk further away. Start a new life somewhere else. I want to be a good ways away.

Doran, what happens now? I'm getting stressed seeing my companion over here fall. But I'm not disheartened. And I take another attack or maybe do I yell. Now is your chance to attack. Let's make it happen. So vague. They're like, what?

Who's attacking? Oh, yeah, no, you make a good point. Attack the enemies at your front door. A dwarf, I see a dwarf. Jack, myel. Four Zentarham bandits's in the fog. There you go. He's the smart one.

There you go. Oh, I would have. My intelligence is right down there. And you know what? Maybe that's what happens. I yell at and these guys are like, that doesn't make any sense. So you guys yell over top of me and they're like, attack the people. So the guards really are going to get it at that point.

What's your charisma? I have high charisma and high wisdom. That's why I'm like wise when she was bluffing, but dumb, because I like shiny things. I'm going to attack this person in front of me. Do it. The one that you chopped, it's like. Yeah. That's a nine.

No. Oh. Sorry. Red. Does color look bloodied? No. I'm going to climb the building. I'm standing next to.

The farmhouse? Yeah. It's only like 10 feet high, right? Yeah, about that plus a little bit of a thatched roof. Perfect. So I'm going to use my climb speed. of 20 to climb up. Yeah, I'll take the bandit.

16. Yeah, boy. Nice. That's the one that's injured already? Bandit number six. Yeah, the bandit is injured. I took the injured bandit. 12 damage.

Yeah, you kill it. I know, but I wish, if it was that, which, I roll that high damage, I wish I would kill it out. Krayloff, we heard this song before. Make a save against death. Oh, my favorite. That's a four.

Oh, oh. As a total blind ball, you could pour that fucking potion down his throat. I was going to find out what it is. You have the potion? I do. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Invisibility really helped. I mean, it actually would, though. Because if it went invisible, he can't get hit. What is it administering a potion to someone? Is that an action? That's an action, yeah. It's the bandits's turn. Okay.

I think they are, so the bandits that are already across and on the keep side of the bridge are going to navigate their horses toward the guards that are coming out of the keep and out of the fog. So they're going to use, they're going to steer their horses past Zolkin. Can they see which direction they're going? Is there no chance that on this 10 foot plank over water that none of their horses would put a hoof over the edge? That's kind of likely that at least one horse would put one leg over the edge. This is a game of chance, Harley.

Right? Let's roll for it. That's what I like to hear. Great argument. But I think that's fair. It's like literally a false. I've got D6s. I have one for each of the bandits that is Keepside, which there are four of them, correct?

Four including Zulkin. Four is dead. The horse is still there. Oh, so you're saying five. You're can of the horses only. So what are you going to say, like a one or two, they fall? And you roll four dice for the four horses? Five.

It's not Zulkin's turn. Oh, okay. The two that are closest to the edge both fall. That's one horse without a rider And that's one horse and rider Both go in the drink And you hear the panicked sound of horses Just

I mean really this is a reward for Jack's Clever Fog Cloud Because that's exactly what it would do But I think that you're advocating for this To have an inspiration Yeah Use it wisely Perhaps when your friend is making a very important

Save against death Like literally, but you can't give advantage on death stays, can you? Yeah, you can. Oh, Rob, we know what we have to do. The other bandits, as I determined, are going to move out of the fog toward the keep. So, they're just going to move until they can see what's going on, and then they're going to attack those guards. Is there a gate on that side, or is it just open? It's opened to permit the guards to exit.

Stupid guards. Wow, that's a natural 20 and I'm 18. We need a game plan, guys. will attack and kill the enemies. That's just crazy enough to work. You wild boy, you? How are you for HP? Good enough for the moment, I'm hoping.

Because you have your actions, so you just don't forget. One of the guards is mortally wounded and dies. The other one takes a little bit of damage as the bandits get up on them and start stabbing. Did I deal with the bandits that are on your side? so there's one bandit. No, there's one bandit. And it's going to attack Krala.

Not Krala. I'm sorry. Stab his body. Stab his body. It's going to attack Doren. That misses with a five. Okay. Kella, it's Kela's turn.

Kella wipes her short sword on the side of her leather trousers and she stares down at your body, Kralath, and grins and then turns toward the nearest. person, which would probably be our friend Doran. Or the bandit. Maybe she wants to kill that.

I don't think so. But she rolled a four, but she gets to attack again because she is multi-attack. And she rolled a six, which is not going to do it. Zulkin's turn, he is going to bravely ride his horse back across the gap. He does so, and then emerges from the fog. It's quite the spectacle. tendrils of fog move out of the way as his horse just like protrudes and emerges lands on this bridge and he sees what's going on and he goes kella kella no and he rides over and tries to stab dorin he's a tough boy too that's an eight plus five is 13 that's going to hit 17 plus five is a 22 and then a critical miss.

So one hit of three attacks does. He has three attacks? Yes, sir. What the phrase? Six slashing damage. How are you doing, Doran? Down to zero. Okay.

Oh, my God. Oh, plan. Fuck. Red, what do you do? So Doran is down. Kralath is down. There are three fighters there. He is, the Jack is far away.

And getting farther. I mean, at least 61. feet. Is zero dead? Zero is you're making death saves. Okay. Guys. There's no good.

What happens? I don't know what kind of spells do you have. What do you? I got nothing. I'm out of spells. I got cantrip. You're out of spell slots? Yeah.

Fuck. So can try to talk to them. That's kind of my only option. What about the cloud illusion? What about the giants? Could you do that still with a cantrip? Nope. Red would probably start crying.

Oh, Red. Carrie always. I mean, he just watched two people die. I mean, you know, it's a tough. What's her name is not even bloodied? We're just unconscious. Yeah, we're only unconscious. Yeah, all right.

I guess I'll attack her. That's a miss because that's a tent. Oh, I'm assuming it does not hit. And I'm going to move 30 feet away. Okay. Down the other side of the house? Yeah, might as well. Eleven for my death save.

That saves. Nice. Okay. So where does that put you? So you see under temporary hit points, there's successes, failures, and then six circles. Yeah. You roll. a 1D20 and every time you get 10 or over, you are, you mark a success.

Every time you get under, you write mark a failure. And when you get to three of either, you either die or are stabilized. Okay. I'm making the bandits go. So there are two on the side of the keep and two on, no, there's just one on the other side. So the guy on the other side who is standing over the bodies of Kralath and Doren, sheaths his scimitar and says, Captain, what do we do now?

Zolkin turns to him and he says, we must protect the lady, Keller, of course. And Kella says, I don't need protecting. What are you talking about? He's like, oh, yes, of course I know that. Don't be silly. But we'd best make to the safety of the keep, my lady.

She's like, don't call me that. All right. And they get on horseback. the three of them, and they all leap across into the fog cloud toward the keep. I mean, saving grace, but it kind of makes sense because they've killed the people around them. You and I fucked off. Tell us damaged. Yeah, what else are they going to do, really?

My only plan at this point was like, what if I go to the goblins and rescue that bo-pedo guy or whatever his name was and, like, try to bring the goblins into the fight? Oh, my God. That's so sweaty. Imagine. The four of you hear the sounds of combat across the bridge in the keep. I mean, the two of you hear that. Two of you are unconscious.

We need to stay in initiative order because we have to worry about death saves. So it is Jack's turn. Jack is going to ask Kieran to go get an update of what's happening on the far side of the bridge and brace himself for bad news as he rushes in, you know, moving his, a double move to try and get up there. He was 61 feet away from there, so he's running his whole turn to get somewhere. Yep. Kellan says, it's not looking good, boss.

Tell him to run. Curran. Kiran. Yeah, Kela, Kieran. Oh, yeah, Kieran. I'm sorry. Kieran says, it's not looking good, boss. Oh, you can't tell me anything.

You're just a bird. Scree! That's an owl, man. Doren, make a saving. against death? That's not good. A nine? No.

Mark one failure. Red, what do you do? I'm going to use my feline agility, which allows me to move double my movement. I love that you save that until now. Yeah. And I'm going to run up to Kralath and I'm going to use medicine to try to stabilize them. Okay. Roll for it.

Are you going to use your advantage? You have two more death saves. Yeah. No, I'm just going to roll straight up. Okay. 20. Perfect. Dirty 20.

Nice. You're stabilized. Come back to me, you fool. You put your hands over the gaping wounds in his torso, and you manage somehow to slow the bleeding clots forming underneath your hands. For a second time in this village. Oh, God. She slashed me good across the face.

You're still unconscious. Yeah, I know, I know. She's but just meta-wise. I'm like holding it shut. I'm like, oh, Dornan's dying too. You are now stable. So enjoy the. One D4 hours.

Enjoy the rest. Should I do that now? Why not? Yeah, let's see how long it takes you. One! Hey! Oh! Nice.

Just my one D fours. Jack, what do you do? I get there and I'm trying to hold this poor dwarf together. Yeah. Keep the blood on the inside. I'm going to roll some medicine. Thank you. Nine.

Ooh. No. It's not looking good. You're not really familiar with Dwarven anatomy. I think it's good. And there's honestly just, I'm not ready for blood on my hands. This is, this is gruesome. and up-losing personal and just like, oh, this is not what I was...

You don't know if, like, the arteries are in the same places as they are for everyone else? I mean, intellectually, it makes sense, but I'm not trained in this. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just trying to put pressure on things. I don't know if that's even helping. Doren. Save versus death. Don't put pressure on his throat. He needs that to breathe.

An 18. Okay. That's one success you can mark. Red? What do you do? I'm going to run over to Doren now and be like, Okay. Who come here, you silly dwarf? No.

three. No. So Red and Jack are both crouched over the body of their friend. Please don't die. He's bleeding out all over the place. His blood's all over the place. Kralov, you continue to enjoy just being blissfully unaware of this whole terrible situation. Jack. Everybody's dying today. It's the... Snap out of it, Jack. It's all right. Just put your hands here

and help. But Velarosa's dead and now Kralath is dead again and... You hear Steele meeting Steele. over across the bridge. We couldn't save them? Stay focused, friend. Look at me, look at me. It's going to be all right.

Just deal with this moment. Okay. Put your hands here. Okay, I'll try. Four. Doran, save versus death. 18. That's one more success, red.

I'm just going to try again. Listen, Jack. We can do this. Put your hands here. Okay. Look me in the eye. It's like ghost where you like making pottery together

except it's a bleeding door. No, this is serious. Jack is having a mental breakdown and I'm trying to help him. Everything's going to be all right. That wasn't a crooked. It's almost a one, though. Crack die.

It's between a one and a seven. Crack die. Let's redo. Oh, that's a good crack die. That's a lucky die. No. No. Oh, damn it.

Jack. You guys are just muddling through this? Don't worry, but he's got two. He's still got fish. I'm like, giving myself CPR. Dorian, you can't die today, too. You can't die today, too. Oh, my fuck.

Six. Wow. Oh, Doran. 20. You are now alive with one hit point. Oh, crap. You don't have to wait an hour. Holy crap.

What happened? What do we see? I'm like, holy shit. I'm awake. And I'm going to use a bonus action here to roll my second wind. Yeah. Yes.

A 1D10. Oh my God. You just like spontaneously. Don't back up. Pick up your fucking axe and you're like, ah! Plus, it's not that much. So two. Who cares?

Two more hit points. So I'm back up to three. Nice. That's better than one. Dornin. And I grabbed the bottle from your from your waistcoat. And I'm like, and I told it out to Jack and I'm like, do it. I count on it.

Is it health? Tell me. Uh, I mean, in the dark, I'm going to give this potion a quick once over. 14. You hold it. Hold it up to the light your half elf eyes do not necessarily require from the glimmering within the potion. You unstopper it and give it a quick smell. It could be a potion of heroism.

What the hell is that? It makes you a hero. Well, I don't need it then. You would gain temporary hit points and be under the effect of the blust spell. This blue potion bubbles and steams as if boiling. I'm going to put the stopper back in. It's not exactly health. Let's just get Kralov out of here.

Doran, can you, are you able to help? Yes, of course. We know the church is safe. I'm feeling revitalized. Yeah, back to the church. Let's go to the church. I could use a rest. You together drag your friend back across the moonlit square.

For the second time. Today, within the past two hours. And bring him back to the safety of the temple of Lathander. and Maliki. What? No! Not Krayloff! Not again! Thank you for listening, and thank you to our Patreon supporters. Find us at Dyshame on Twitter, Instagram, and that little patch of grass next to the old oak tree. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe, and we'll see you next time, or else.

That was awesome. I waited for like two seconds.