Dice Shame - 45 | 'Fog of War'

Episode Date: August 20, 2020

Outside Grudd Haug the team encounters a sizable force... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We got some ogres, boys. I feel so confident every time we approach Gradhog, and as soon as we engage it, I'm like, oh, fuck, we're doomed. You've got a chance to redeem yourselves. Interesting ploy. And immediately, he knows, okay, he pulled something. Look, we've been over this. Let's just keep going forward.

Go get Mug for help. Good job, Red. Nobody here. Bito? Get it, they're orchestrating. Ah! Very clever. Fart, fart, fart.

Welcome back to Dyshame, Episode 45, Fog of War. This week's MVP is Michael Benson, who is our newest Facebook fan. That's right, Michael Benson. You are MVP, Michael Benson. Michael Benson. You did it, Benson. Looking for another great podcast, check out The Lucky Die. The Lucky Die is a D&D actual playbook.

podcast that's heavy on the drama inherent in D&D to tell a dark and dramatic, improvised tale. TLD, as the cool kids call it, focuses on four heavily flawed characters and the friends they make along the way as they try to stop the apocalypse and make right the wrongs in their own lives. Check them out at the lucky die.com and wherever you find your podcasts. All right, should we do this? Oh, yeah. You, you, yeah. you guys, but I am currently vibrating from the amount of caffeine I've ingested today.

We've got percolator coffee, energy drinks, instant coffee, an espresso machine. A matacanos, lattes, caffeine is very important in the Harlan Joe household. My sleep schedule is nuts. I've been working midnight shift and day shift in like a month on, month off rotation. Oh, yes. So I've not been getting a lot of regular sleep. Alex, I know you have a newborn. you're right there with me.

Yeah. And honestly, I'm just tired. I'm just sleeping. I slept in until 12. I barely got 10 hours of sleep last night. I mean, I went to Wasaga Beach this Saturday and relaxed on the beach for like the entire day. Got a little bird. That's so exhausting, Justin.

So tired yesterday. I just. I can imagine. I'm still kind of recovering from that. But D&D always makes me feel pumped up. Oh, yeah. I hope you guys are feeling energetic to. Cheers.

Cheers. Because. Pump, bump, pump, pump, pump. Pump it up. Hold on. What song is that, Alex? One I just, random pump-poms. Yeah, that's just, that's not even the thing. I think it is. I'd like to hear a little bit more, frankly. Pump it up. Is that our new initiative song? Pump it up. It was a mix of two different songs. Just pump it up. It's a mashup. And, uh, yeah. So you decided to split the party on your approach to Gred Hog.

Great idea always. That's right. You sent B off by herself to pick off the watcht tower archers. Unfortunately, without the benefit of Reds pass without trace spell, she was spotted, and the alarm was sounded before you had a chance to affect your full plan. Mm-hmm. B. As you came upon the hill giant's fortress from the south, you were seen by a hobgoblin exiting a small outbuilding just to the south and downhill of the tower. Your enemies called attention to your position and to your dismay, a hobgoblin warlord riding a whiver and came flying down to meet you. Meanwhile, orcs pour forth with War cries, they'll be on you in moments.

How many moments in rounds? What is the conversion rate? Moments to rounds. We will have to see. Right, it's your turn. Perfect. I will attack the hobgoblin. I will not be using a penalty on this shot.

That was a 23 to hit. Oh, yeah. He's been hit already, right? He certainly has. 15 damage? It's dead. Perfect. I'll use double my movement.

My feline agility to move is 60 feet, so that I am next to the doorway that the hobgoblin came out of? You loose an arrow at the hobgoblin and then you run almost alongside your arrow to land directly beside the body right as it falls to the ground. Cool. Can I peek inside the hut

now that I'm next to the doorway? Yeah, you can. You see a warm interior that is probably used as a smithy. Great. There's a fire pit in the center heaped with hot coals. There are red hot pieces of metal

sticking out of it. Obviously, this hobgoblin was interrupted in the middle of creating some weapons or tools. There are tongs and hammers leaned up against the wall. All the furniture in here is medium creature size, so nothing giant-sized. And as you peek in stealthily, you see two goblins that are caught in the middle of trying to hide behind a barrel and a heap of straw. I'm going to attack. They're not rushing to engage there. Like, totally...

You made them sound so pathetic. I mean, they are. Well, they're goblins. To the far east of me, I know the orcs are there. I can't see them, though, right now, right? Yeah, you can see them. Well, then I might as well spend my second attack on that guy. I will fire at the orc closest in that direction.

Sure, yeah. There are eight of them. They're just like... I'll use my sharpshooter on this. With a 22. Yeah, great. You hit. And that was maxed.

Damage, 22 damage to the first org. Okay, so I love this. Red has his bow drawn from his first shot against the hobgoblin that Doren had directed. He takes a breath, exhales, and then shoots cleanly through the hobgoblin that he had missed initially, runs up to the doorway, then looks to his right, sees that there's a small company of orcs preparing to run across the plains at you from the south of Gredhog, exhales again and then looses this arrow. The camera follows it as it sinks deep

into the cranium of the first orc and he drops it, no problem. And then I turn to the oars and I'm like, yeah, we can do this. I mean, you kind of have to yell because you're like 60 feet away from them. Yeah, we can do this, guys. Hey.

Whoa. Krayloff, it's your turn. Invigored by Red's awesome action. Krayloff is just going to charge forward as well. He's going to move 60 feet. Cool. So that he's right back up. pretty much behind Red, and he clings his shield with his mace and says,

I got your back, brother. Thanks, buddy. And I'm going to do a perception check, actually. I'm going to perception check the uh, uh, uh, Wyvern. Uh, 21. Cool. The Wiverin makes it easy for you because it is flying in your direction. Okay. As you run up beside Red, you cast a look back over your shoulder and you see this shape approaching you from the north. It's the Wiverin that Jack had told you about. This creature is maybe 12 feet tall with a wingspan that's easily 20 feet and strapped to its back. You see the terrifying visage of a hobgoblin warlord. This creature is holding the reins that lead to the Wiverin's mouth. It's a scaly green dragonoid creature, though it's built kind of differently than a dragon. It just has back legs. Its front

legs are enveloped in its wings. It doesn't have like an extra set of claws in the front. No T-Rex type arms. It's just got the wings in the back legs. And it's got this powerful tail, Kralath. You see it's got a stinger on the back that it seems to be holding over the occupant of its saddle in like a threatening way. And it flies very quickly toward you. Okay. We may have to one, two, three, four, that guy. I've got to watch out for that stinger, too. The Wiver and as it flies at you, it's going to end its turn some 210 feet away from you, Kralath, and up in the air. Yesh.

Mm-hmm. All right. You hear a grinding sound far off in the distance, and then the orcs start to orchestrate their charge at you. Get it? They're orchestrating. Very clever. Fart, fart, fart. I feel so confident every time.

we approach Redhug, and as soon as we engage it, I'm like, oh, fuck, we're doomed. Yep. Also agree. We got this. No, we're good. No, we're, yeah. Thankfully, this map is so big. Dupid large.

I mean, they charge at you and they close about a quarter of the distance. So Red's looking pretty good about picking them off right now, but the orcs, just start charging. Jack, it's your turn. What do you do? Yeah, Jack's been a little stunned just with all of the news. sensory inputs from this new relationship with his familiar. So I think that's my justification for why he's going so slow. But he's getting his eyes around it. He sees Kralath running and he also follows suit, runs 60 feet to hide in the shelter on the south side of this blacksmith building.

At the same time, you know, there's this mental command to Kieran who swoops north and turns invisible and is just going to fly at 60 feet sort of north. Swoops north, turns invisible. and lands on the roof of Grudhog somewhere quiet and obscure. Yeah. I think they're still flying north. I think my hope is they're going to sort of scout the way for us as we go. Potentially. Yeah.

Next up, we have goblin turns. The goblins in the hut. I spare these things. I really fucking hope they don't try to attack us. Are going to take the hide action? And they do great job. So, Doren, it's your turn. Does Doren notice that Jack's familiar disappears?

mid-flight. That's a fair thing to roll perception on. Yeah, why don't you roll it? Do you want a stealth from my familiar with that? Yeah, yeah, stealth on that imp. 19 plus 5 is 24.

And I've rolled in 19. So the Raven just sores out of your view. Okay. And you notice nothing untoward. Doran doesn't take any notice of it. But he does see the Wyvern, correct?

Oh, yeah. Oh, and Doran so. her reaction is just like that. Oh! And Doren runs up also to join his teammates here. I'm going to move twice, so I'm going to end up in the building. So also, you see this smithy, and it seems to be empty. Cool. Two goblins in there, but they don't seem hostile. All right. And Red just points up, more pressing matters. And I just stand in the doorway there. Keeping an eye on the goblins. Cool. Yeah, Red, it's your turn. to lean out from the side of this building and I'm going to fire at the hobgoblin on top of the

river. As you lean out, you're going to take some fire from that tower. I'm going to give you half cove. So that's plus two bonus to your AC on these shots. They're also firing with disadvantage. 18? Nope. They don't hit. They all loose their arrows. Ooh, I wrote double 18s. So that's a 21 hit? Yes. Yes. So four arrows fly down at the tower. One, luckily. just catches you in the shoulder as you are aiming at this warlord and you take nine damage. Oh, that looked like it hurt, red. Are you all right?

It kind of hits my foot. Yes. Ouch. I'll be all right. And I'm going to let loose an arrow. Do you want inspiration? I would love inspiration. I have not inspiration in literally months. So nice.

Yeah, so maybe there's just a moment of, because you ducked around me, like, take out the leader. This thing's like the head of a snake. Oh, right. And I'm going to fire with Rob's inspiration. Thank you, Rob. 16 to hit?

No. Ah, damn. Blast. And I'm going to try again. And I'm going to fire regularly at this time without the penalty. 20 to hit. Yes.

All right. Nice. First blood against this warlord. Here we are. 11 damage. Okay. And I suppose I will move. Oh, you're making a run?

I'm going to move. 30 feet behind Doran because I want to go around the east side of the building because it has more cover from the arrows. So you poked your head out around the southwest corner of the building and then you're going to retrace your steps back

east across the entrance. Bingo bingo. To stand within fist bumping distance of your friend Doran. In fact, I do so. I give him a little bum tap. Good stuff. Kralath, it's your turn. What do you do? Seeing red taking that direction Krayloff is going to follow.

And then he's going to stop and he's going to cast bless on himself, Doran, and Red, who are right around him. Nice. 1D4 to attacks and saving throws. And that's it. That's my turn. Cool. Jack, you receive a telepathic thrill from your familiar as the Wiverin closes dramatically on Kieran. Yikes.

It's about 20 feet away from Kieran and maybe 60 from you as you were cowering around the corner of this house. unseeing. The orcs continue to rush up from the east. Jack, what do you do? So I'll turn back and shout to Red Doran and Kralath. The Wiverin and the rider are just on the other side of this building and at the same time sort of direct Kieran to fly 60 feet around them and try and just sort of get to the far side of them. Yeah. So Kieran kind of deeks around the Wiverin as it comes in for a landing, flapping its huge leather. wings and creating this massive current of air and is invisibly kind of buffeted off to the side. Kieran comes in for a landing sort of beside a little tuft of shrubbery near to the ladder that

Red was talking about that leads up to the guard tower. Then what happens? Seeing that this wound from Red's arrow as I peeked my head just around the corner to get eyes on this hobgoblin, I'm just going to reach out and close my fist and like a bell tolls it's going to try and pull some life out that wound, and we're going to toll the dead. Mm, okay. So that will be a saving throw against 15. Wisdom? That's the one.

Eight. Mm, nice. 2D12 damage gives me 16. That's just this sonorous hum sort of like echoes out of this thing's freshly bleeding arrow wounds. Mm-hmm. And then I'm going to stay behind here. Well, as you send your sonorous tone out to suck this war-loor. Lord's life from it.

Yeah. It is going to try to retaliate against you. Yikes. It hefts a javelin thick as your wrist and throws it with a 17 to hit you. So I'm going to throw up a shield real quick as a reaction to... Wild. So yeah, I think it's almost as if the javelin comes through the corner of this building breaking off like a brick of it and it, you know, takes my, I have to throw my hand up to get

this like magical force to stop it from piercing my heart. I love this back and forth. where you're throwing out to Toll the Dead, and he is coming, screaming at you just so fast, launches a javelin that almost hitches you, and then you have the presence of mine to just get a shield up right in the nick of time. Yeah, they're right here. Going to move the rest of my movement.

Hiding back around the south side of this, making some room for hopefully my friends to duck around this corner and get some cover. Doran, it's your turn. What do you do? What is the building made of? Is it, like, brick or? It has mud walls. The ceiling is 50 feet.

high. There's an arching straw roof that is very sturdily built. The interior is warm, full of hot coals. There is a chimney, sleeping pallets in the northwest corner underneath which a goblin has successfully hidden itself from you. Jack, would you be able to move these walls made of mud? I call out to him. Jack is on the other side of the doorway. So interesting. I mean, why not, right? It's made of earth. Carry cover with us. Sure. It's five cubic feet, right?

Per turn. Yeah, fine. Yeah, there's a play where you guys get in position and then we open a secret door in this thing and you guys are already. That's what I was thinking. I mean, it's quicker to run through this building to the back, having cover the entire time and then poking a hole at the back of this building. I'm going to dash into the building and kind of take a stance waiting for my companions

to join me so that we can eventually go through the back of the building. Cool. All right. Red, it's your turn. I'm going to fire out these orcs with both my attack and my extra attack, and then I'm going to move into the building. We want to lure this Wiven close as possible. Good call.

I'm going to use my sharpshooter penalty on the closest orc to me. You got your blast D4? I'll roll that first. So it's going to be a plus two. I'm going to use my sharpshooter penalty. That is a dirty 20. Yeah. So 22.

You hit. Sweet. Get that damage. That is max damage. Nice. 22 damage. That is a dead ork. And I will attack again.

Same dealio. 15 to hit. You hit. Nice. And that is going to be 15 damage. You kill him. So two orcs just fall out of this crowd that are continuing to run at you from across the field. And I'm going to move into the room.

I can tell just by looking at Red. That's amazing. Kray Loth, it's your turn. Krayloth sees Red move into the. the room, he gets an idea of what the plan is. And he turns to Jack and casts sanctuary as a bonus action. You ward a creature within range against attack. Until the spell ends, any creature who targets the warded creature with an attack or a

harmful spell must first make a wisdom saving throw. Nice. On a failed save, the creature must choose a new target or lose the attack or a spell. Great call. So Blass is a concentration spell. Yep. This isn't concentration. It's one bonus action, duration, duration one minute.

Cool. No, see. Like, if I attacked, is it screwed up, or is it? Yes, if the worded creature makes an attack or cast a spell, that affects an enemy creature, the spell ends. Yes. Or cast the spell. Yeah.

But that's okay, because it goes before you anyway. Casts a spell that affects an enemy creature. Oh, that's important. Yeah. Okay. So I can cast spells above myself. Exactly. Yeah.

Nice. So that's a bonus action. And then I'm going to use the rest of my turn to run into this blacksmiths. workshop. Nice. Good turn. And I'm done. Nice. Sanctuary. That's great. I don't think we've ever seen this from you, Kralath. This is new. This is, he decided to take this one this morning. Knowing what he was getting into, knowing grudhog, he figured that extra ways to protect his party members would be very helpful. Cool. Nice. So Jack, as you are buffed by this sanctuary, the Wiverin comes around the corner flying at you.

Yeah. Go to the sky with this warlord atop it. Wow. The warlord is going to act as the Wiverin is in the middle of its trajectory. Mm-hmm. So the Hobgoblin is going to call out a special command. Shit. And it's going to buff its mount.

Oh, my God. Then the Wiverin is going to try to attack you, Jack. So from a distance of 10 feet away, the Wiverin is going to try to bite you and then sting you. So it's going to have to make an save. So for the bite, here's the save. That's a natural one. Yeah.

Oh, nice. Thanks. It snaps at the air in front of you and then confused, makes it terrifying noise as it wheels once again around you, Jack, trying to outmaneuver this sanctuary. and then it will try to sting you with its tail. Mm-hmm. Come on, nice.

Let's go. Let's go. Sting Jack. No, mercy. 19. Yeah, he's okay. And then it's going to try to hit you. Yeah.

With the stinger on its tail. Yeah, AC-15. 19 to hit. Oh, fuck. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Make a Constitution saving throw.

Well, that is a 16 plus 2 is 18. That'll pass. Whoa. And you're very lucky for it. Nice. However, you take nine piercing damage from the sting. And then I need more D6s for this. Oh, shit.

What? 26 poison damage from the stinger. So you half that because of your successful save. So 13 poison damage. Oh. And then as you watch in fear and agony, the creature continues flying into the sky and circles around the other side of the building. But you're not poisoned at least.

Yeah. How much health do you have left? I got 38 left. Yeah, he's doing fine. Are you kidding? He's doing great. Okay, so the orcs continue charging and they're yelling now. You can hear them yelling at you as they charge.

They're charging, they're yelling. Are they charging and yelling? Yelling and charging, orcs. Orcs are charging and yelling. Ra! Dude, that's them running. Ra, ba, blah, blah, blah. And then they're running, so running.

What are they doing with their voices? Yodeling and their legs. The yorks are yodeling and dancing. Get the motor running. Get it on the highway. Jack, as you are looking out over the field in fear at the whivorne that just careens around the corner of the building in which your friends are currently standing,

you see in the very distance the logs of the palisade that surround the sheep's enclosure through which a second horde of orcs is beginning to emerge. Yeah, not great. It's your turn. What do you want to do, Jack? Can I get within 30 feet of this thing? How high is it?

That's my, that's the fundamental question of. Oh, yeah. That's, I mean, it's tricky to do Pythagorean theory. Yeah, I know. But like if I... If you move 30 feet? Am I within 30 feet and able to see this thing? It's 20 feet.

Yeah, so if you move out from the door, out from the building and toward it in such a way, yeah, you can get to within, we'll say just 30 feet. I'm going to run out 30 feet. in front of this thing, and I'm going to look up, and I'm going to stare deep into my crystal ball, and I'm going to whisper a suggestion to this hobgoblin warlord. Interesting. Go, fly west. Go get Moog for help.

You're under attack. You need more reinforcements. Go fly, and don't come back till Moog comes with you. And I would like it to make me a wisdom-saving throw versus 15, as I suggest that it runs away and goes to get Moog to get help. Okay. It has to make a wisdom-saving throw? It does, yeah. Before you tell me anything, I want to goose my save. I can spend an extra spell slot because I got some alchemical jazz.

Okay. The hobgoblin warlord turns partway around in his saddle. You see him nod once, and then he viciously pulls on the reins that are attached to the face of this wyvern, and it careens off in an entirely different direction, flying away from you and your friends. Wow. What do you do? It's top of the round. So we've got Doran, Red, Kraloth, Jack. Doran, you're in the middle of the smithy, 10 feet from Kralath, so you're almost within high-fiving range. Reds told you that there's some goblins hiding from you in the smithy, but you can't see them. And there's a fire in the hearth, some furniture size for medium creatures, some, like, villainous blacksmithing in progress.

I'm thinking, you know, like, in Lord of the Rings, the book. Mordor works are like hammering out these black blades. Yeah, the forge and the... These are way less impressive because they're goblets. They're less impressive. It's less scary, but they're not... It's not like dwarven smithing. But I do picture us like sweaty and panicked.

We just saw this Wivern and shit. And like Doran is in the center of this room sweaty. Uh-huh. Absolutely. So what are you guys going to do? Well, Doren is looking at the north wall of this building, the one that has no exit because there's only one entrance on the south, right?

That's right, yeah. And he says to Kralath, Jack can probably move this earth from this wall and we could probably just go straight through the north side of this building. And Kralov considers high-fiving him but realizes he's slightly too far. Just outside of high-fying range.

Just barely too far away. I think that's a great idea. And Doren, as part of his movement, takes one step closer to Kralath to give him that well-deserved mid-battle high-five. He stops movement halfway through. High-five continues moving. And Kralath is already, like, concerned about those orcs coming,

and he's getting ready, and he doesn't even see the high-five, and there's this... Oh, no. Oh, no. Leaving him hanging. That's okay. Missed opportunity. Because Doren, of course, is half-concentrating and holds up his hand for a high-five,

but then, you know, turns away and says to the Gullens, and he knows her in the room, but he can't see them. He says, you know, you'd be better just to come out here and even sacrifice yourselves for our benefit. Do you think they're going to buy that one? Die for us. Are you actually trying to persuade them or intimidate them or what?

Yeah, yeah, you know what? I am. I'm not doing anything else here. Did you want to roll persuasion with disadvantage? Yeah. So what's your play here? You want them to sacrifice themselves? He's gone into the enemy stronghold,

and he's trying to convince one of the smithies to kill themselves for the enemy. Not kill, not kill. Sacrifice. You've got a chance to redeem yourselves. Interesting ploy. If I'm able to persuade them enough, one or both,

then the idea here would be to get them to maybe take off their armor and run south in some sort of fashion as a distraction. So strip naked. You know, oh, there's people, they're fleeing, you know, so maybe the orcs start going after them, right? You know this is their place, right? Like, they're not afraid of the orcs. That's like being afraid of your co-worker.

No, I understand that. But maybe we could do something to make them not look like. They're like, but I live here. Let's see what happens. Let's let it ride. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited. Yeah.

I want to see if I can convince them, first of all. I don't think, I think there's going to be a high... Roll with disadvantage for me. Disadvantage? You got this. You got this. Don't even... This is easy.

You can't spell disadvantage without advantage. Okay, so three. Oh. Doren, killing it. Oh, no. How could that... Because, you know, the most persuasive people get stood up for high fives. It's like, okay, high five.

All right, no. Well, friends, I got a deal for you. I want to hear Alex roleplay this. Doran unconvincingly trying to persuade the two goblins to get out of here. Hey, listen, I know you're hiding in here and we'll let you go free, but all you got to do is dress up like one of us and start running south. Hey, aren't you supposed to give me a high five here, Krayla? Then it just totally gets distracted.

Yeah, and Kralov is looking at him now and sees the hand up. and has one eyebrow raised. Yeah. Just looking at him. I don't know. The high five threw him off. That's the problem. The high five totally threw him for a loop.

Left you off balance. I picture Doren just standing there kind of going like, I don't know. It was a shot in the dark. I really liked the wall idea. Jack Spell. Hopefully he can do that. Did you want to do anything else on your turn, Dorn?

Well, no. Okay. That's it. Red, it's your turn. You see Doren walk over to Krayal off, fail to receive a high five, and then fail to talk some goblins into bad plan of action. Red just watches that and he's like, good job, dying. And I know that Jack is out there. I know the orcs are out there. I ran in here for a respite. But I think as my back's against the muddy wall, I'm like, no, I can't leave him alone. I'm going to run back out. I'm going to use me. my movement to head out to the south door, that should be enough that I can lean out and fire at the orcs. Yeah, certainly. So there's that small crew. You've taken down three of them as they've run across the field towards you. So there's five left. Bingo, bango. And I'm going to roll with my bless that I believe I still have. You too, indeed. I'll use my sharpshooter penalty. 17 to hit? Yeah, that hits. Nice. Sharp shot. By a sharp shooter.

At least it's a sharp shot Not a sharp shart That'll be 22 damage Whoa Yeah your arrow flies true Across the field And he turns his head At one of his companions

Who's like calling out to him And the arrow just sinks directly Into his ear Through into his brain It keeps a space In that first orc's head And without missing a beat Red has already let the second arrow fly

Let the second arrow fly Let the second arrow With a 13 hit? That hits. Does it? Wow. That was with a four bless that aided me, so. Praise Kellen-Four.

With the full bless. Yeah, we got the full bless on. 24 damage. Yeah. So as this arrow sings through, it goes through the hole. The first orc is still falling and sinks into the second arc. And as he falls, he kind of trips over the body of his companion that just fell ahead of him and then they land in a bleeding pile. And I give him.

a little wink to Jack. That's great. That's great. I can see this whivron across the corner that's just slightly out of sight. So I think my face is still pretty fixated on that to see if this plan goes. Kralath, your turn. What do you do? So Kralath runs towards the door and says, come on, Jack.

What are you waiting for? My turn. I'm just trying to see if my spell worked. I don't care about your spell. Get in here. I'm coming. I don't care about your spell? I mean, it's a little dismissive.

Yeah, he just has no idea the, like, the fact that you've saved. The whole profession of wizardry, but that's fine. I'm out here doing art. So snotty, I love it. Pearls before swine. I don't care what my dad says. I haven't, it's going to be good at this. That's a good episode title.

I don't care what my dad said. No, pearls before swine. Kralath, you run south and look through the door at your friend, Jack. Was that your whole turn? Yes, I believe it was. And you high five Dorn. Okay. So the hobgoblin atop the wyvern cranks back on the reins that he holds in his hand, wrenching the creature's mouth backward.

It's got like this monster bridle on its face. The bit is being chomped mercilessly by this thing's long, sharp teeth. And the hobgoblin sort of careens wildly in the sky on the top of this wyvern, and then they start flying south together. Nice. They fly 160 feet away from you guys. So you start to lose sight of them in the distance as they become smaller and smaller. The concentration that Jack needs to do to maintain that only happens. As long as I don't cast another concentration spell or get hit.

Exactamundo. Okay. So the orcs hurdle jump over their dead companions as they continue mercilessly running towards you. I like picture them doing the hurdle jump too. Not like just jumping, but like actually, you know. Oh, there's only three of them left. Red's going to pick them off before me. Incorrect.

As you all see the full contingent of orcs round the log fence, you see that there are nine, nope, ten more. They begin charging in your direction. Ten more? Mm-hmm. Ro-oh. Jack, it's your turn. First thing, I'm going to send Kieran north again,

flying 60 feet up onto that rocky ledge. to see what's going on up there. So Kieran flies up this first ladder, their claws skimming lightly on the rungs as their wings flap. As they wing to the top of this first grassy hill, the top of the first ladder that leads up to the guard tower, they don't see any enemies emerging from this longhouse. There's a heavy red curtain that's like heavy leather, it looks like,

that separates the doors from the outside of the longhouse on this side. So they can't really see in through the doors. Perfect. But there are no enemies emerging on this level. Do they get a sense of what's going on in the top of that guardhouse as they're flying up there? There are four archers that have their bows trained on the smithy where you guys are hiding. But they don't have sight on you right now, so no one's firing at you. Kieran flies off to the north and gets that report about what's going on.

with the hobgoblins, the archers who are sort of covering us from there, and Jack dashes in towards Red and Kralath. You know, Kieran's up ahead. Looks like there's nobody else coming down from the north, just the ten orcs heading from the east over there. So anybody else in this room? There's some goblins in here. Why are they two got...

Where are they? They're hiding. And Doren kind of hollers up from the north end of the room. They're up hiding around here somewhere. I can smell them. They're disgusting. Nobody here. Bido?

Is that a problem, Jack? Yeah, they're goblins. And they're in here. Look, we've been over this. Let's just keep going forward. Here's the thing. There's two goblins over there. They're going to try and shank me,

and then I'm going to lose the spell, and the Wiverin's going to come back. And I'm really worried about that. Maybe, can I just try and see the goblins? Yeah, roll perception check. I got an eight. It's real hot in here. Hmm.

Oh, man, it's like a forge in here. It's sweating already. Dora's like, thanks, general obviousness. You're welcome. Dorn, it's your turn. Top of the round. Dorn's got this wacky and wild idea. What is...

What? What? Really? Looking at the doorway. You know, what am I looking at when I look at the doorway? What's on the inside of the doorway? There are some sleeping pallets here. The furniture in the room is medium creature size, not giant-sized. However, the ceiling is very tall, 50 feet high, and the door is also very wide. So, ostensibly, giants come in and visit this hut, but they don't work here.

This is a place where goblinoid's labor and giants come and oversee the work or, you know, collect tools and shit. Doren moves back down towards the fire pit, and he's standing right next to Jack, and he puts his hands on the cool end of, uh, some pieces of wood and other burning things that are sticking out of the fire. And he tosses them, you know, towards the door. And at that moment, he also hollers, Kraloth, Red, help me build a fire in the doorway. We're going out the back door. Why are you building a fire on the doorway? I actually don't understand.

It'll stop the orcs. Come on. And I continue to grab pieces of burning wood and throw them towards you guys, but not like at you, but, you know, to the right towards the open doorway. The minute that back door is open, I'm going to create a fog cloud. And then that'll let us head up that ladder there without being fired on. Let's move. I mean, I'm not going to help with the wood.

I think I'm going to just keep firing. Yeah. And I'm going to run the back. For me, it's the imagery, you know. So, Doran, you spend your turn to pick up these burning logs and start throwing them in the direction of the front door. And maybe story-wise, I find like a bag of coke, which is like the coal that they use for, for somebody's got to call the cops on these jobs. I know, I thought so, too. I thought it was a weird thing for it, too.

That's why they don't want us in here. I find this bag, and let's see, let's see, I throw that as well. And it spills open. And so this coal is like extra flammable-ish, more so than wood would be. It's not like a bonfire in the front door. Like the front door is 20 feet wide, so it's a lot of stuff to cover, but it's definitely confusing. What the fuck is going on? And if we're lucky, it does catch fire and, like, it actually catches the building on fire.

Like, that's kind of my thinking. If it's, if we're lucky. But that's, that's the end of my turn. So, that's what I do. I'm going to fire at the oaks. Now, they should be approaching, they're within 600 feet. Yes. I'm going to fire twice because we have another whole round.

Cool. Well, as you watch the orcs round the corner of this stockade, as you are pulling back on your drawstring and taking aim at the group of them, two ogres emerge from behind this 20-foot-high wooden fence. Oh, shit. So they're just bringing up their rear in this group of orcs. We got some ogres, boys. I'm still going to take out the orcs that are closest to us because those are the most immediate threat.

Absolutely. I'm going to roll to attack. This will be again with a sharpshooter penalty. No, 10. No, your arrow flies wide. Damn! And I'm going to fire again. Better?

Uh-huh. That is a 17 hit. Oh. There we go. Nice. 24 damage. Yeah, nice. So you get him in the knee, and as he collapses,

he falls on a rock and smashes his brains out. Oh! And I, like, duck back in too gross for even me. And because I'm not moving this round, that should reset my feline agility. Yes, it does. Done. Krayloff, what happens next?

Kraloff is going to see that Red is taking out these orcs and pat his buddy on the back. And that's why I missed the first shot. You're doing great, buddy. Got your hands all over him like, good job, shaking his shoulders. He's got, goose, you're like, well done. I need to focus. Yeah, exactly. Good job, Red.

And then Krayloth's going to move next to Jack beside the fire. And he's going to kneel down next to him and say, Do you have a health potion, or would you like me to heal you right now? Oh, good thought. I'll take a potion and let's get ready to make our run for it through the north. I think I can get through that wall. All right. As an action, you can administer a potion to somebody else, if that's what you're hoping.

I don't think I have any potions, though. Oh, I got this one here. If you just want to help me get it out of my bag, it's just on the backside. My hands are pulled. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, I'll just. Oh, thanks.

Right in here. Busy leafing through his spellbook. He's like, actually, like, out of my pocket. No, other pocket. Other pocket. That's the way. You found it. That's the place there.

Yeah, thank you. Got it. Got it. All right. Yep. Is that a bottle in your pocket? This thin, long vial. Oh, you're so caring.

You go open wide. You know it. All right, let's do it. Everything is slowed down as you're, like, pouring it. There's, like, stars, and it's, like, foggy a little bit. Like, oh, God. I'm trying to think of a sexy song. Careless whisper.

2D4 plus 2. Do you want to roll it? Because you're the one who found it. That's a 1. And that's a 2. Plus what? Oh, no. So five back.

Hey, that's better than nothing. Damn right. You sure that's enough? I mean, I toss the file onto the fire. It kind of like, as you pull the stopper out of the vial, you get a whiff. Like this potion maybe is like on its way out. Oh. Just a little bit past its expiration date.

And you look at a small print in the bottom and it says, it expired yesterday. What the hell? I think I've had this one since we. I've had this one in my wallet since high school. My dad gave it to me because I was going to a party and he wanted to make sure I was safe. They never get health potions out of dispensers on the wall

that are in the bathroom besides like the handpire. It's left an imprint on the side of your satchel because it's just been in the leather so long. With the like metal crank. It broke. Great. Well, that happened. Yeah, well, let me know if you want more healing

and I can help you out. And I reach down and I start helping Doran with fire. Yes. Logs. Oh boy. Harlan's shaking his head. I'm just passing them over to Doran because I've used... I mean, I think we have to be really conscious about action expenditure at this point.

However, we can't do anything else. So I think this is totally fine flavor, but I do think going forward we need to be really concise because two rounds means 60 feet for the ogres and I can't kill them all myself, you know, especially the next... I believe in you. Don't worry, you got this. Oghers. Orcs are fine. Oghers, because as you watch two hill giants around the corner, one of them moves towards this Big boulder.

Oh, we got orcs, ogres, and hill giants. Yeah, what's great about that is they're far away. Yeah, there's a big boulder on the east side of the pathway leading into the palisade. One of the hill giants is making for that boulder. The other one is coming up on the heels of the ogres. All of the orcs move 60 feet closer to you. So red, you can start to see the whites of their eyes here on the closest ones. They're 50 feet away.

There's only two of them left. You've taken care of all of the other ones. this. They were like a construction crew, if you remember. Yeah, I did. Jack, it's your turn. So you wipe away this dribble of health potion from your lips. Yeah, I get that squared away. Sorry about that. The last little bit of it. I know, it's all good. I'm way too freaked out about these two goblins hiding in here. It's really not good for me. But I got nothing I can do to people I can't see. I feel like Doran sees the fear in your eyes and he's like, they're hiding. They're not.

not coming out as he's like tossing flaming pieces of wood towards the door. Doran, do you remember all the last times we dealt with Goblin? Like, that's just not how Goblins work. Listen, I was married to one for 15 years. I can tell you right now. They don't do shit. What? Okay.

All right. Triloth and Red sure a nervous look. We're like They don't do shit. It's like so nonchalant. He keeps tossing flaming pieces of wood. I'm going to ignore everything you just said and get about what I'm doing. All right. We're walking striding right towards the back wall

and blowing out five feet of it just to move in my hand, boom, there's a hole in the wall. Good job. All right. Nice. Five foot cube. It's not even loud, too.

That's the best part about this spell is it's kind of stealth. It just moves. It just makes a noise like you're digging in Minecraft. It's like, shh. Yeah. Nice. And then I turn back and everybody get lined up, ready to go.

We've got covering fire from the hobgoblins up top. Presumably Kieran's not got any more action that happened up there at the moment. Nope. You got it, Jack. Watch out for those goblins. Doran just said they were here. Ooh, goblins.

I'm right on your tail there, Jack. Thanks. Doran says heaving the last few burning logs under the doorway. If there's any goblins in here, I'd appreciate it if you just stood up and left through that door. That'd be great for me. Doran, it's your turn. What do you want to do? Are you still building this fiery barricade?

Yeah, no, Doran's done enough fire building for, today and he's seeing that Jack's already made a hole. So now I'm going to act as, you know, the forward battalion. I move up next to the doorway. Kind of for two reasons. Number one, I'm gathering in the back corner like it was suggested. And then number two is I'm keeping an eye on Jack and wear these goblins because I know there are goblins back here somewhere. Yeah, Red shouted that out to you. He's the only one who saw them, but they didn't seem very violent. I think I did too, Didn't I? No.

Oh, okay. But you know what goblins look like. Yes. Oh, yeah, you do. Oh, yes, I do. From all angles. Okay, so Doran, you throw like four blazing logs into the doorway of this smithy, and then you kind of hoof it to the back right beside where Jack has created this five-foot cubic

hole in the back of the smithy, in the back north corners. It's like a perfect hole for me. I'm exactly four foot six. I can just walk through this thing. Yeah, no problem. I don't have to get on my knees or anything. Not right now. But I'm going to have to, is what you're saying?

I'm going to have to get on my knees at some point. Yikes. You got to do what you got to do. Red, you watch as the two ogres start to overtake the orcs as they spot you and start running toward the smithy. Right. Ogres are faster than orcs. You can see now very clearly.

They're like huge legs. just striding, can see the flesh of their bodies jiggling around as they run. Yeah, they are. Red, what do you do? Red sees the two orcs running in the doorway. They're about, what, 60 feet away from me now? 50 feet. They're closing.

Red sees the orcs 50 feet away, and he takes a half step just outside the doorframe. For a moment, Krala thinks he's going to fire again. But instead, he pulls an arrow without a head from his quiver. And he almost seemingly whispers something. to it and fires it straight up. The arrow sings over the building to the back of it and 120 feet away I am going to quote unquote cast fog cloud at a level two point. Whoa. So just at the ladder that's 120 feet from my point just behind the back of this smithy a cloud begins to form as the headless arrow falls from my quiver directly into the ground and fog begins to spread out. And in a

40-foot sphere from that point, so 80 feet across, a cloud begins to form. And then I am going to move into the room 30 feet. And as you pass Krayloth, Krayloth turns out of it says, I think you missed. And I just kind of give them a weird look, kind of knowing like, oh, yeah, I guess I did. Almost like, I don't want to admit what I just did. And I run into the room, and I'm going to stay adjacent from the open. in the back, 30 feet away from it, roughly. And we now have fog cover.

Beautiful. Okay, so this headless arrow flies up into the sky and where it lands, fog blooms all around. Kralov, what do you do? You see this happen through the back opening. Yeah, well, Kralov doesn't actually see the cloud happen, but he sees Red go in and gets that look. And immediately he knows, okay, he pulled something or something up his sleep. And with a smile, Kralath, um, pull.

pulls out his mace and he walks over. He used to a door and go, whoa, there's a cloud back here. Looks like it's going to rain. So Kralath is going to move over between Jack and Red. And his idea is he's going to kind of cover the back of the party. And he's going to ready sacred flame. And the first moment he sees an orc round the corner of the building, he's going to cast it on them. Cool.

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. What some. Awesome. Awesome. Great, great thinking. We've got front cover. We've got back cover. We've got cloud cover. We've got fire cover. We've got smoke cover. Whose turn is it? The two orcs make it to the southern door to the smithy, and you can see them kind of lose their train of thought. become distracted by these blazing logs. What the hell? They're like, what, logs? Why are we on fire? I'm so confused.

Stop, we need to figure this out. Well, the mechanical thing that happened is actually, because I said that it's difficult to rain, they ran out of movement because they can't move the 10 feet required over the logs. So they're actually stopped short of moving into the building after you guys. Yes, Alex, your idea. You dumb idea.

Doran's a tactical genius. Yeah, it's like, let's turn our desks around so the teacher comes back and is confused. And I think also, because it's a fun, creative idea, I'm going to reward it by giving the orcs 1D4 fire damage each. All right. These orcs deserve to die. They're like, oh, my feet, there's hot coals all over.

I really, for a minute, thought the arcs were going to get inspiration. But I mean, logically, think about it. There's got to be 12 logs. I was standing there for like... 12 whole seconds. No, there's four logs. Oh, there's only four? There's four logs in a 20-foot door.

You used one action. I let you throw four logs. And a bag of the... And the Coke bag, yes. Yes. So maybe it's like, you know, it's hot little coals. There's a slight amount of rubble in this door. It's hot little coals and the orcs hate it and they burn off the feet and they're like cursing at each other.

Broken arrowheads stuck in their shoulders and like scars on their face. They're like, ow, ow, ow, hot. Hot coals. I had a triggered action there. You had readied your action, yes. I readied my action for sacred flame when I see one of them. So go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. That's an eight.

Hey, all right. I got to do some damage. Nice. Ha-ha. Okay, one of the orcs goes up in flames. The other one's like, what the hell? These little tiny coals? Don't touch the coals, man.

It's got Coke, man. And takes seven points of damage. Yikes. Doran still thinks it's because of him. He's like, oh, look, look, they're on fire. Oh, my God. That worked really well. Jack, what do you do?

So does this fog cloud extend up on top of the next ledge? Like, is there room to stand up there in the fog cloud? So as Doran peeks out the back hole in the wall, you see that the top of the sphere is actually just grazing the bottom of the ladder that directly leads up to the guard tower. You've obscured the first and second floor effectively. Oh, wow. Beautiful.

So it's a 40-foot... ladder up and then there's a that's the middle of the sphere and then there's another 40 foot ladder up cool so it's an 80 foot high bluff and then on top of that 80 foot high bluff there's a guard tower all right so kieran finds themselves caught in a fog cloud and i tell them to move north until they out of the fog cloud and can see and i'm going to just book it out the door out the five foot hole i've carved and as close as i can get to the ladder trying to get up to the next level while we got cover. Nice. Great. I would like you to make a perception check with advantage just to make sure that you are correctly oriented towards the ladder. Sure. 16.

Great. Yep. So you head in the correct direction and you can sort of see this like shadowy figure of the ladder just what 15 feet ahead of you. Let's go. Doran it's your turn. Yeah, Doran watches Jack run by and Doran looks back at Red and Krala. And are you guys looking at me or are you looking towards the doorway? Go, Doran. We got the front door. Okay, so Doran hears this, takes off and follows Jack out. And I guess I'm going to have to roll two, don't I. What is that 20? Roll with, roll with advantage. So roll 2D20s and take the higher. Follow my voice, Doran. So 11. Cool. Yep. That's not a problem. So are you moving 20 feet or 40? 50 total, I guess. Cool. Doran, you make it all the way up to

the base of the ladder, basically. Okay, red, it's your turn. I turn to Kralath. Let's go, buddy. Oh, yeah, no, I'm with you. And I'm going to move 30 feet, and then I'm going to use my feeling and agility to move an additional 60 feet, which is double my movement. So I'm going to move 90 feet. Why don't you make a perception check from you, love? Beautiful.

Yes, please. 19. Yeah, no problem. Great. Kralath, you are the last one left in this building. I'm going to follow Red and try to stay as close to his footsteps as I can. No, as you pass the Goblins, they get an attack of opportunity. They slice both your Achilles tendons.

No! Quiet the entire time. Salam I died heroically. Roll perception with advantage. Someone say my name. Kralath. Natural 20. Whoa.

With Liferless? No, not on Liferlis. This was on Emerald City. That's a good one. We just watched Visit of Oz, actually. Oh, really? Good movie. Hey, you guys should watch it.

It's really good. It's like it. Oh, yeah, what's it about? It's this real underground indie flick. It's kind of like cult. It's a black and white one, right? Yeah, yeah. No, it's in color, I'm pretty sure.

Funnily enough, it is the most watched movie of all time. How do they know that? They don't know how many times I've watched Monsters Inc. on VHS. That's funny as fuck. So the two orcs that were standing in the doorway of the smithy do like a jack-be-nibble, Jack-B-Quick, and they both sort of hop over these burning long. logs very carefully, and then they continue making their way through the building. They saw Krayloth evacuate through the back.

Do your thing, Jack. Okay, Jack. Jack turns around and bends down just so his head sort of pokes down below the fog cloud as the sphere kind of rounds it, so his head just pokes bound, and he moves his fingers just a little bit to shift the earth back so that the door closes and the hole in the wall closes up. You can see it behind Kralath's feet. then I will inch my way

right to the bottom of the ladder but not start moving up. I just get this visual of these orcs pummeling into this room and then like running to the back corner and then like this it's a smoke-filled room from all the commotion that's been going on and they just run into the wall and they're like

what the hell? I thought there was a door here. The assault continues. Thank you to our great old one Patreon supporters Michael and Brianna Weber Adam Fry and Christopher Ryan Evans for their continued support see you next week you next week