Dice Shame - 46 | 'The Bottom Rung'

Episode Date: August 27, 2020

The party climbs their way to the second level of the Hill Giant's Lair... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!?   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No retreat. Krales has really decided. We're not going back. It looks marred somehow. I don't know. I could go back to school. Dad wants me to be a dentist. So just a big, bell-like ring

trying to shake this guy's soul from his body. Yikes. Soul being shaken. He didn't like your scythe very much. I'll tell you that. It could have been his. I pointed Doren. Excuse me.

Let me disrupt it. I'm just trying to get around here. Oh, did I get that? I'm so sorry. Hey, what? You're not. You guys okay up there? Welcome back to Dyshame, this is episode 46, The Bottom Rung.

MVP this week is friend and fan Mike Campbell, who's been active as all hell on our Discord and a new Patreon supporter to boot. Thanks so much for being a huge supporter of Malevolent and everything else we do, Mike. If you're missing your favorite gaming convention, year and you're a fan of dice shame and the Invictus stream, you'll want to sign up for Broodfest 2020. This totally free 100% digital convention takes place September 5 and 6 and boast ton of RPGs for folks to join up and play. To check the roster of events and sign up for games, look us up on social media or go to warhorn.net slash events slash broodfest-hyphen 2020. Or get on that Discord server. The link is on our website.

Join us. Should we do this? Let's get down to business. All right. I remember having sleepovers as a teenager, having my three best friends over and getting our sleeping bags all set up in the basement. And playing the crap out of some Nintendo 64. Oh, yeah. What games?

GoldenEye. Oh, okay. Yeah, GoldenEye. Absolutely. Donkey Kong 64 was very good for multiplayer. Mario Party. StarFox, 64. Oh, yes.

Right? And of course, we had Super Smash Bros. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, see, we used to rent ours, though, from like the local, not Blockbuster,

but like a Jumbo video. We would have to rent the N64 to play it and return it. I used to go to my friend, Shane's house, and we would play this turn-based computer game called Heroes of Might and Magic. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's a good one. I like that one. Yeah. That was your sleepover game? Yeah, on the computer, you know? Didn't Shane also get you into D&D? Yeah. And we'd also.

play D&D. But that was your first introduction. Didn't he have like the red box? No. No, we never played that. I remember you saying that Shane was the one who like got you into D&D before you even knew. Yeah.

He didn't have any sets or boxes. It was just we had dice and he would tell a story and we'd play it out. That's cool. So really he started playing before all of us like way, way, way back when. That's right. What is this thing? That's right. And I didn't.

It's just part of you. And there was no ability. It was like more describing. and then you'd roll a dye to see, like, how successful you were. If you were, like, over, you know, four or five, six, then you're successful. It was like a feeling. You're like, that's high enough. It feels good.

Yeah. What about you, Rob? What was your first intro? The first intro to anything to a role-playing game is I was at the library, and for some reason it had like GERPS module. It wasn't like a full game or anything. It was just like a supplemental book for something. And so I picked this thing up, and it's describing a game, but because it's a supplement,

it's not telling you about the game. It's like, here's the things you need to play. an Ice Age thing. I'm like, I want to do this. I don't know what the fuck this is, but something about this book is really interesting. And it wasn't until, that was maybe, I don't know, like grade six or seven. And then I got to high school and had some friends who were like, yeah, come over to this

basement and we'll hang out and play a game. And so I went and played D&D with my... Have you ever played that GERPS module, though? No, I've never got... I've ever actually played GERPS. I've just known as a thing now. I'm thinking, we need to, in some sort of celebratory manner, get you to play

or run or whatever you want version. of that module. I think we need to do a... Yeah. And then so I think I played D&D twice and the GM did something I didn't like and I was like, and I was like, fuck it, I can do that. And then I started running a game. And here we are.

Here we are. And here we are full circle. All right, guys, you're midway through your second assault on Grudhawk. You've magically dissuaded the Wyvern and it's hobgoblin rider from pursuing you for the moment. Yeah. You've stacked some flaming logs in front of the smithy. Effectively.

You've cut down a bunch of orcs as they ran across the field towards you. It's the top of the round, Doran, you're standing in the fog at the bottom of the ladder. What do you do? So how does climbing work as far as movement? Because there's a ladder, you don't have to make a climb check, but you move at half speed. Okay, so Doran's at five feet from the base of the ladder. So using double my speed, which is 25, I would make it up about 20 feet up the ladder. Something about halfway up the ladder.

Perfect. I'm climbing. Red, it's your turn? Since I have a climb speed of 20 feet, I get to the top of the ladder. In fact, I climb over Doran. I love just... Excuse me, let me disrupt it.

I'm just trying to get around here. It's like a foot in my eye and like... Yeah. Oh, didn't I mean... Oh, did I get that? I'm so sorry. Hey, wash you know, claws, eh? You guys okay up there?

No, we're fine, don't we're right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Craylath, you're coming? You can see, like, pieces of fur fall down. On my way. And I climb up to the top, and I, uh, draw my bow. Oh, are you a very good drawer? It's like a straight line with a curved ball, sort of under the side,

and then maybe with an arrow in it. Look, I did it. Kralath, it's your turn. Kralath is going to run forward towards where Jack and the rest of the party is. And he's going to stop next to Jack. Hey, I don't know what's going to happen up there, but I have a spell. You still got that ring? Yes, I do.

The platinum one. That's right. I'll fish it out of my pouch and put it on. Yeah, put it on. It might be a good time to use this. Now, you have to stay within 60 feet. Otherwise, the spell is going to be canceled. So you think you can do that?

Yeah, let's do it. All right. And it's going to last one hour. And it's called wording bond. So you got plus one to your AC, plus one to saving throws, and resistance to all damage. Nice. Whoa. Your damage is futile.

The damage is going to go to me. Half of it's going to go to me. But the way I see it is a giant throwing a rock at you can do upwards of 30 damage. So might as well share that. Nice. Now, because I wasn't listening. Who did you cast that on? Well, since you're halfway up, the...

I cast it on Rob. Oh, what was that? Doris, like, leaning backwards, trying to listen to every part of every conversation. And I'm going to move right up to the ladder. Okay, great. It's Jack's turn. Jack, what do you do?

Jack climbs 30 feet up the ladder. And while he's climbing, he's thinking at Kieran, you should go see if you can peek under that curtain and see what's going on. And so Kieran would like to fly 60 feet in that general direction and see if, in their tiny crow form, low to the ground, they can peek underneath there and see something. They see that there is a room beyond, and that's about it.

Okay. There's like four inches of empty space, but there are no... Hey, no feet, that's important. Telltale signs of anything. And that's it. I climbed 30 feet up this ladder. Cool. Cool, cool.

Doran, what do you do next? Doran continues to climb and would therefore make it to the top? Yep. This is the ladder climbing portion of the show. Mm-hmm. Duran takes a look around and notes his foggy surroundings. Yeah, you're still in basically in the very middle of this fog cloud, but you are on solid ground.

There's some closely shorn grass. You're just on the top of this rocky bluff. Red, it's your turn. I am going to move forward into the fog cloud. Obviously, it's difficult to tell what position I'll be moving to, but I'm going to try to reach the edge of it very cautiously. Now, I do know that we just climbed up a ridge, so I'm going to hang back to the ridge to find the edge of it. You're going to follow the ridge?

Yeah, I've climbed up this edge. I see the edge behind me. It's probably, you know, within my five foot square. And I'm just going to follow that around, probably to the west, just so I can, until I reach the edge of the fog cloud. Okay. So you're like, follow the outside edge of the ledge away from Gred Hogg to the outside edge of the fog cloud. Exactly. Great.

Yeah, you do so. And as I peek out of the fog cloud, which I believe I should mathematically reach the edge within my 30-foot move, what do I see when I peek out of the edge? So you are standing on this wide hilltop. There's another ladder that leads up to a second level, I guess. That's like 80 feet away from you. On top of that second level, that's where the base of the guard tower is. Additionally, the edge of Grudhog is about 80 feet away from you to your east. Grudhog is made of packed mud log walls. It's fairly well constructed from what you can assess. There's a wooden ramp

that leads up towards a tall doorway that's completely obscured by a red curtain. You can also hear the sound of running water coming from beside you. There's a large stream that you remember seeing on your way in. Anything to obscure myself, any trees, any bushes, any boulders. There are some low shrubs, things that were overlooked by giants who were taking down anything that would have been useful for timber. Additionally, as you reveal yourself from the outside of this fog cloud, you're going to take some arrow shots.

Drinking shots, baby. Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shot, shot, shot, shots. 22 to hit? Yeah, that hits me, yeah. And the 15 misses you, I'm sure. So out of the four arrows, one hits you. Oof. Oh.

So all of these hobgoblins just let fly of volley. You take five piercing damage. Oof. Oh, damn. You said there was some trees or bushes here. Are they big enough to hide behind or in? Yeah, you could definitely get some cover. There's one, the notable one that's big enough that you could hide behind is 50 feet north of you.

I'm going to pull my hemp and rope out of my pack, and I'm going to tie it off to an arrow and fire it at the cops of bushes. that seem to provide the most cover. Holding the end of that 50-foot rope, I'm going to head back to Doren along that edge, and I'm just going to tie it to the top of the ladder. And I'm even going to say to Dorn, if you hold one hand on this rope and head as fast as you can towards that bush,

you should have cover from the hobgoblins that are firing. Okay, Red. That's good thinking. Thank you. Krayloth, it's your turn. You're at the bottom of the ladder, right? Yep, and I'm going to climb up the ladder, and I'm going to dash so I get up 30 feet,

and I'm right on jack. Yeah, you're 10 feet from the top. Apparently we got a rope set up for us. Well, that's good. Yeah, Kieran's got an eye on that big door, so it doesn't seem to be anybody coming in there yet. Hey, okay. You thinking we get in there?

Yeah, I mean, at some point, we're going to have to make a stand before they box us in, right? Yeah, I agree. All right, Jack, what do you do next? Well, I climb 10 feet of ladder, taking 20 feet of my movement, I'm going to dash 30 feet along the rope

that was sent back to me to try and get some cover in these bushes. Jack, you hear a voice in your head. There's feet. I see feet. Oh, shit. Can you duck under that curtain and get a look in there? Yeah.

Kieran hops underneath this thick curtain and is directly in the path of a hill giant who's dumbly reaching out a hand to move the curtain aside. In its wake, in the rest of the room, there's half a dozen goblins or so. Kieran can feel the heat from a roaring fire somewhere within the room. Looks like maybe this is a preparation chamber, kitchen of some kind. Right. Yep. It's the kitchen just over there.

There's a half a dozen goblins and a giant coming this way. I'm shouting it back to the fog cloud. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Fog cloud's like, okay. Doran, it's your turn. I suppose the only sensible thing to do would be to follow the lead and take some cover behind this bush here. Doran's being boring.

Nice. Okay, so Doran, you follow Jack and you gain some cover in the bush. on the top of this plateau. And I'm thinking that there has to be a point wherein we're so far beneath the tower that it's not really an opportune way for the goblins in the tower to shoot down. Unfortunately, this is not that point.

No? Yes. You have to be approaching probably within 10 feet or so of the base of that next level. I rolled to hit Doran with an arrow that comes soaring out of the, guard tower. Yeah.

22 to hit. Yep. Ooh. That is eight piercing damage. Ugh. It finds a weak place between your armor. Right in like the clavicle. And then Jack, two arrows fly out at you.

That's a 20 to hit. As that arrow flies up at me, I throw my hand in the air and that platinum ring glows, brilliant, silver, a shield pops out around it and catches the arrow deflecting it. And so the, yeah, that one pushes me. me over the top with shield to get it out of the way. Nice. Save my butt. Say it a little.

Hey, something just tickled. You're feeling a bit of me. I like to spell. Yeah. Red, you hear the telltale sign of arrows being fired through the air at your friends. What do you do? With the arrow tied off, I'm going to run 30 feet to the edge of the fog cloud now that the attack of opportunity has been provoked.

And I'm going to fire twice at the back. Bad boys in the top of the tower. That's awesome. Yeah, you ignore their cover. So now they are easy pickings for you. Exactly. I don't know what their to hit would be yet. So I think I'll do the first one without penalty.

Oh, wow. And that is a two, which is a 10 to hit. That misses. And I will fire again. No, it's a nine. Sorry, huh. Oh, man. Bummer.

Who are you using? Oh, I'm using the headless arrows. Damn! That's just fog clouds popping up all around. Just fucking, pf, pf, damn. Honestly, that wouldn't be the worst thing. True. No, it wouldn't.

Kralov? How is this ladder attached to the wall? Great question. Oh. Question for the ages. I think about that earlier, and I forgot. I'm thinking there are two wooden supports that have been pounded into the top of the bluff. Oh, okay.

On either side of the ladder. and then the top of the ladder has been, like, lashed to that post. So it's attached at the top. Gotcha. It's all really dry wood, too. It's fucking funny. Kralath climbs up the ladder, and when he reaches the top, he kind of dusts himself off, and he turns towards these two posts, and he rubs his chin, and then casually begins to untie the tops.

That says, I'm going to be the second, guys. Do you have any kind of bladed weapon, a dagger, or... That deceptive mace has some sharp edges of. I have a tambourine. Oh, the deceptive mace does, kind of. I have a tambourine. I shake a tambourine at the rope. You could just smash the tops off.

You know, I could also cast sacred flame on the tops. I don't know if that would do any damage. You can burn it and walk away, and that would be one action for you. Don't look at it as you walk away, though. I will do that. So it has to roll a dexterity. Okay, it fails because it's fucking rope. All right.

And the rope just goes up in flames. Yeah, cool. There's no turning back now. I'm afraid not. And from the outside of this fog bubble, the three of you just see this plume of smoke start to leak from the top of it. He's a good smoke, a bad smoke. Craylo!

Just for a dramatic effect, I also like use my foot just to kind of like kick it and then wait for the ladder to fall. I just got a really cool, like, image. like a mental picture of Kralath, like in this swirling, smoky fog, you can barely see five feet in front of your face and you're just like can barely make out the top of this ladder and then just fire springs to life. Yeah. All right. So that's on fire.

No retreat. Krales really decided we're not going back. He's like, we're in Kellenbor's hands now. The scales be balanced. That's right. So the hill giant that was previously behind this red curtain reveals himself, and it is revealing. This creature has greasy, long brown hair, got a really obscene necklace made of halfling limbs. Gross.

Hanging from his neck, and he's otherwise naked. He accidentally sort of kicks Kieran aside. as he walks through this curtain and he moves down to the bottom of the ramp, sees you all. And then from the side of this cliff atop which the guard tower is on, he sort of throws a boulder at red. Uh-oh. Don't hit. Natural one. Oh, good job, natural one. He, like, drops it on his toe.

Jack, it's your turn. Ah, yeah. Dorian, what are you thinking? Doran looks or he says, Remember, Hark, Moog's husband. We don't know who he is and maybe just start calling people Hrock.

Eventually, we'll come across him. Might be able to convince him. Hey, are you Hark? You say in common? Giant. You say in Giant? What does that sound like? Hra-ha-ha-ha-ha-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-ha.

He looks over his shoulder like, what, me? What? Ma. This is not H-Ruck. It's not Herok, Doran. Let's keep an eye out for Ruck. He might be.

What's the word I'm looking for? Waring a name tag. Hello, my name is Kralatilene. So, Jack, apart from trying to have a conversation. I skirt around these bushes, get within 60 feet of the giant who's definitely not Herok, and pull out my orb and try and toll the dead and get his ears ringing. Yeah, orb him. Yeah, so why don't you make a wisdom save with 15?

No. No? It's six, so no. How's he like 14 necrotic damage on them 2D8s? Yeah, so just a big, bell-like ring trying to shake this guy's soul from his body. Yikes. Soul being shaken. Kieran gets somewhere safe where you can keep an eye on what's coming.

Yes, master. All right, thank for the dark lord. Doran, it's your turn. Red, would you take a shot at that tower? try to kill one of those hobgoblins up there on it buddy you're going to add three to whatever you nice should i use my shop shooter absolutely oh right 11 sorry dorin that's okay and dorin uh races up through this bush and is um moving towards the giant okay it's gonna go one on one here moving ducking, diving, dodging.

Two hobgoblins take aim at Doran. Jack is a little bit too close to the base of the bluff in order to provide a healthy shot for them. So they're going to focus fire on easier prey right now. So that's a 21 to hit one arrow, Doran. So that's nine damage. And two shots at red. Clown shoes.

shoes. Yeah, no. They do not hit. So two arrows fly wide of you red, but you can see that these hobgoblins are taking you seriously. As they should. I don't know when they miss this much. It's your turn. Perfect. I am going to move towards half cover in those bushes that Doran and Jack just came from. Yep. And I'm going to spend two actions to fire out those hobgoblins. Do it. That is a dirty 20. Nice. Oh, yeah, you'll hit. Nicely done. Eight damage. Okay. And I will fire on that guy again. Great. 15.

No, that misses. And that's my turn. All right, Kralath, you're up. What happens next? So Kralath is going to run into the fray. He is hearing the giant coming around the corner, he ignores the rope and begins moving

in an easterly direction toward the giant. And he is going to hold up his shield, and while he does this, he begins to cast spiritual weapon. And so he's going to take the Dodge action, and as a bonus action, cast spiritual weapon in front of this giant and take a swing at it. Nice. And you notice on the sithe that it looks a little different than you're used to, instead of like a perfect golden sithe, it looks marred somehow. And it seems to flicker in and out

of existence, like it can barely hold onto itself, but it still manages to fully form, and it swipes at this giant. Oh, Crail, that's poor soul. Cool. Yeah. So that's 23 to hit. You hit? You hit? Okay, and you're going to take

nine points of damage. Me? Joe? Yeah, you, Joe. Whoa. That's harsh. I can see it. I can see the scythe behind me. It transcends the game and breaches a meta-loven. Cool. And you said you're taking the Dodge action? That's right. So all attackers that I can see have disadvantage against me. Well, you can see this attacker. And he didn't like your scythe very much. I'll tell you that much. It could have been his. I pointed Doran.

He don't like your invisible sight. Yeah. He walks 40 feet towards you. The stench is overpowering. You're a stinky bastard. He picks up another rock and throws it at you Krayal off now. 11 to hit it misses it bounces off my shield nice wow yeah so i imagine you like take a step back under the force but this golden shield just repels the missile yeah jack it's your turn jack takes 10 foot step right to the base of the ladder so he's real sheltered against the cliff face that goes up towards the hobgoblins and the tower and he looks back at the hill giant and just whispers a prayer for it in

giant calling for it to die slowly. That's a shitty prayer. Another sonorous bell. Our father, who are out in heaven, please kill this giant. Hallowed, fuck you. Archaeologically, when you study them, you find out most of the giant writings are shitty news. Certainly. But I'd like another wisdom save, please.

Oh, natural 20. That's a 19. And Jack is like, I should not have given a giant prayer to this giant. Curses himself. Giants love giant prayers. He's their priest. and is going to stay right tight to the wall, sort of gazing in through Kieran's eyes for a minute

just to see if there's anything exciting happening inside. Kieran's like, There are many goblins, master. They approach. They're all amassing. It's your turn, Doren. Red, keep your focus on those hobgoblins in the tower. Oh, right.

And then Doren runs at the giant with his axe out and shield up. And he makes it to kind of like the south side of the giant. And he takes a... hefty swing against, I mean, he's going to make two attacks, so I'm just going to roll both now with his axe. Yeah. Oh, fuck. So a 19, so that's a 26 to hit. Yeah, boy. Nice. And doing 14 damage. Awesome. And then my other attack is a natural one. For shame. For shame on that die, for shame. So I'm going to spend a lucky point and re-roll that one. Nice. Hey, good call. Good call. I was worried for you. And that means it's a 23.

Yeah. I like that. I don't know if that was worth it. How much damage do you do? Doing eight damage. Nice. So Doran, you run over your armor clanking and you score two massive hits.

Your blade sinks deeply into this giant's thigh as blood spurs out. The hobgoblins in the tower are going to try to attack their foes on the ground. Red, I'm going to give you partial cover here. So plus two bonus to your AC on these hits. Nice. This is a 17 is the highest. Misses. So you are missed twice by arrows. They just get lodged in the leafy brush that you're hiding in.

Ha ha! And then Krayloth and 18 to hit you. Clanks off my shield as well. Perfect. Dodging rocks. Dush, dosh. Clanking off the rocks. Sounds like the 80s every time. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D. Red, it's your turn? I give a quick look to Kralath, and I give him the hand signal, 1-2, like kind of a quizzical look. Like, you want to 1-2 this guy, or should I keep firing on the hobgoblins? Kralath gives him a look back. After partying with Doren, he knows how to give a complicated look, and he says,

maybe we should save them for the big guy. And in that glance, I understand, and I nod, and I'm going to fire at the hobgoblins in the There's a connection there. There's deep meaning. Oh, totally. Oh, of course. Yeah. There's still eyebrow wiggling and whiskers and shit. All right, I'm going to fire on one of the hobgoblins in the tower. The one that you hit previously? Yes. That is a dirty 23.

A dirty 23? Yes. Wow. You hit. What die is that? 15? Great. You kill him. And as your arrow sings through his forehead, he falls out of the attack. His body bouncing down. Nice. The freaking guard tower and lands with a sickening thud on the ground.

As it's falling, I just pierce it with another arrow. So it stops halfway through. It's like chum, it's just like pierced to the side. It's like a warning sign. And I'm going to attack a fresh one. Fresh hobgoblin. A fresh one. That is an 18 hit.

Bam. That hits, babe. Nothing like a Frisch goblin in the morning. 24 damage. And you kill a second, hobgoblin. Squeak. Nicely done. I'm going to give a thumbs up to Doren.

Doren's not really paying attention. He wouldn't know. I'm like a kid trying to dive. Doren, Dorn, Dorn, Dorn! I killed two! All right. Now that I can understand. Where to go, Red. Kralath, it's your turn.

Feeling bolstered by watching the hobgoblins fall out of the tower and dodging all these attack, Kralath hefts his mace and runs forward simultaneously while the scyth moves backwards toward the giant in a pincer movement. And my scythe swipes while I swing with my mace. Liferlis is going to be in my mace. Emerald City is my sithe. Oh, Liferlis only got a two, unfortunately. Oh, no.

Liffelis got confused. I'm sorry. Supposed to be a zero beside that. But my sithe got 20. What? Not a natural. Not a natural, dirty 20. Oh, okay.

Get me all excited there for a minute. Calm down, Rob. I'm assuming that hits. I'm going to swing. It's going to take six points of damage. All right. Good scyth hit. It's the hill giant's turn.

Dill giant. So here is where he comes to bear. Bear? Hug? He's turning into a bear now? He pulls a limb off of his necklace of halfling limbs and uses it as a club to attack you. It's just the full body of a goblin. Yep.

Halfling. There's a body that's a body that's. affected by rigor mortis, and he's swinging at you with it. Doren, he's going to attack you twice, and those are double 18s, so we'll call them hits. No. I lift my shield. So the first hit is 21 damage, and the second hit is 17 damage. That's a lot.

Holy fuck me. Yeah. And then it starts laughing at you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You're laughing at me. okay jack what do you do jack's got his same plan he's this time going to whisper a prayer to lethander lethander's light end this poor creature save its soul from its body set it free and claim it as your own please toll the dead uh so that's a willsdom save looking for 15 or less actually ideally less

eight how's an eight i love an eight uh an eight gets me 18 necrotic damage that's a decent can'trip These two D-12s against an injured foe are fucking killing it. Yeah, and he's got that big gash in his leg. Yeah. You just see, like, the bacteria begin to, like, eat away the flesh. The wounds from the scythe and the axe just start to go rotten real fast. Yeah. And the bad smell gets even worse.

Ringing hum of light. That's gross. You guys are gross. This is a gross game. Yeah. You're having him kill us with a half-ling body. Yeah. That's not my fault.

So all of a sudden, the red curtain, again, parts to reveal row upon row of goblin archers as they move into position this wooden ramp. What else are going on the side there, Kieran? Kieran's like, there's orcs master, they're coming. So six goblin archers emerge from the room, and really they don't have a great shot on anybody at this point, but they're going to try to hit Jack. he seems like the best target for a lot of them. So three of them are going to shoot at Jack. One of them hits you with an 18 exactly. Oof, I will take it.

That's three piercing damage. Three piercing damage, halved is one? That's right. We roll down. Nice. And I take one as well. Hit as well. Oof, catch the shoulder just a bit.

Oof, also. And then the three other goblins are going to try to hit red. because they don't want to get this giant angry by missing Krayloff and Doren and hitting the giant. So three shots, they fall short. They don't even make it all the way towards you. Oh, no.

Doren, it's your turn. What is a short rest? What is that to find us? 10 minutes? An hour. Doren falls asleep. For an hour. He's just out.

I have narcolepsy. Doren's going to attack the giant in front of him twice again. Great. This time with, A 25 to hit and a 17 to hit. Do these both hit? They do. 12 and 13.

So 25 damage. Nice. Well done. Your axe continues to bite into his legs like you're trying to fell a tree. I chop off his toe. I remember I wanted to do that. That's a favorite thing of Doran's. It was like sort of an asshole move of him to hit me with the body of a halfling.

So I decided to chop off his toe. Mm-hmm. But you know what? I'm going to go one further. Yeah, I'm going to also use my action surge, which is going to give me another action. So I'm going to attack with a 15 to hit. Yes, that hits.

Doing full damage, so 14 more damage. What does it look like when you kill this thing? Oh, well, nicely done. As I'm chopping his leg, I hit his artery. And all of a sudden, Kraloth and Doren are showered in hot red. blood. Amazing. Nicely done.

Yeah, you see him clutch his hearts and he falls over dead. Excellent. All right. Now they can't even tell what we are or just bloody beings. We're like those imps we ran into at the mansion. That's right. Just like smiling teeth and like bodies are blood. That's so gross.

Awesome. There are two remaining hobgoblins up in the tower. Both of them take aim at Doran and Kralas. So one at Doran right now. That's the 17 to hit you, Doran. Miss. And come on. It ricochets off.

Kralath, that's a nine. That's also going to miss. Okay, so two misses. Red, it's your turn. Red turns at Doran and Crailof and says, Good job, boys. And I'm going to do something that is going to blow Jack's fucking mind. Let's do it.

Fireball. Whoa, big promises here. Red is going to spend his move action to head up alongside Jack, just to freak him out a little more. And he bends down, and there's a bush that he was just coming from. And he's just totally unaware of Jack and all this stuff. He just reaches forward, a hand outstretched and sort of beckons forward. He says, come here, come here.

And outcrawls a bloodhawk. And I'm going to cast a spell that I got last level called Summon Beastial Spirit. Whoa. So the fog cloud disappears. Correct. This is a creature that I can. decide. It's a small creature. I can do land, water, or air. And for the purpose of this, a small blood hawk comes walking out of this bush where nothing existed before. There's even like a small

sound as it just kind of appears from this bush, as if it's meant to be there. And I'm going to send him up in the air to attack the tower above. So he is going to fly up to those creatures, and he's going to an attack. Okay. That is going to be a 16? No, sorry. Damn. So the Bloodhawk launches into the air and I say, go get him.

And he flies towards the tower and sort of disappears out of my sight as I sort of back up against the wall next to Jack and just give him a look like, okay, we got this. Cool. That looks exactly like the one that you shot down at Moog's Tower. I know. Just like totally unfaced. Where are they? Anyway, let's keep going.

All right. Krayloth, what do you do next? You watch as Doren fells this giant bloods burning everywhere. That was incredible, Doren. How are you feeling? I'm feeling a little rough, but I have the energy to go on. Let's do this. And what's your HP right now?

24. I am going to cast cure wounds on you. Oh, thank you. Smart. I'm going to cast it as a level three spell. And hopefully I roll better than I did on that stupid. stupid health potion. Thank Calimbor.

I thank Craylon. 13. That's balls. That's okay. 13. What a shitty cleric. You're the best cleric. Oh, no.

You know what? 24 to 37 makes a hell of a difference. Yeah, it does. Dorn's like, oh, thank you. Thank you for that. I feel quite invigorated. I feel a bit impotent, but it'll help at least. I say we take on these goblins.

So Kralath is going to run. run up to the side of a building so that he's out of view of these goblins. Incidentally, he'll be in view of the hobgoblins, but hopefully they're distracted. And he's going to move his scythe towards the goblins that are standing on the ramp. So you're kind of like tucking yourself up against the grud hog building. That's right. Jack, what do you do? What do you do, Jack?

What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What are you going to do? Jack strides forward towards the goblins that shot at him, sort of hugging tight with this cliff on the left of the wall, but sort of looking at a point in space between them, not exactly where any of them are, but just hovering this point in space, concentrating so hard on it until, with a snap, it explodes, shattering them in a big sonorous ring that exploded

some imps last time, and this time is going to hopefully rock this whole place. All right. 19. Then you make a constitution saving throw. Are you cool with me making one for all of them? Sure. That's a five. Boom.

Yes, we're okay with that. We're good with it. So they all die. Wow. So there's like an explosion of green flesh and arrows and ill will. Non-magical objects, not being worn or carried, also take that 19 damage. So curtain, explode. It's curtains for that curtain.

The curtains get torn up. They don't get destroyed. That's ridiculous. I love that the curtain has more hit points than the goblins. Yep. Well, you know what I would say? They're not solid and they probably moved with the blast. So there was no. It's like being drunk when you fall. Exactly. You just go limp. You take more of the kinetic, you know, the stiffer you are. Exactly. The curtains were made with some degree of care. The goblins were not. Nice. Boom. Additionally, at this point, finally, you are not privy to this information, but I would like to inform you and also the listeners that the cadre of, of ogres and orcs and hill giants that had been approaching you across the field

all this time finally make it to the base of the ladder only to realize that it is burnt and they cannot make it up the ladder. So Justin, I would like to award you inspiration for your having burned their means of climbing because they spent all of these rounds traveling to try to kill you only to find their way blocked. So congratulations.

Way to go. Doran, it's your turn. So you have this body of a hill giant bleeding and expiring at your feet. And then you watch as Jack just creates goblin jam at the top of the ramp of Gret Hawk. And like Doran's was in the midst of stepping forward to start running up to face these goblins. And before he's able to put his foot down, Jack dissipates them all. And Doran's, like, left with his mouth hanging open. Don't cry, Doran.

There's more orcs coming. Oh, I know, Jack, but now I know, now I got to think about what I'm going to do next. And you're feeling a little better because you've got some of, like, Kralas healing running through your veins. That's right. Doran actually heads towards the next ladder up to the next level. All right. You may get 10 feet up the ladder.

Yeah. Hobb goblins fire at Kraloff, both of them. Um, 15 to hit you with the highest, Krillath. That's a miss. So both arrows miss you, red, and Bloodhawk turn. Oh, the Bloodhawk go first. Scree! Scree!

That's a dirty 20. Whoa. Yeah, you hit. That is nine damage. Okay. The Bloodhawk scratches at the Hobgloblins' eyes and vocal cords, and it is almost murdered. I love the fact that these guys are like, hawk. And they fire at Creight.

And then it's like, oh, am I? And it comes out, it's like, fuck you, man. It's like, like, oh, man, this thing's real. Packing them. And the hawk will hover around. Yeah, I imagine the hawk is kind of like attached to this hobgoblin's face, like tearing at his nose and mouth. Yuck. Red is going to step out from cover just enough until he can see them.

Okay. And I will fire at the goblins. The one that is attached to your hawk or the fresh one? Yeah, I'll fire at the one first that is being hit by my hawk. My little blood hawk friend, and I will not take a penalty. Bloodhawk, baby blood hawk. Squawk, squawk. 16 hit?

No. Fire again? They have a curiously high AC. They do have pretty good armor. No, and that was worse. So I do not fire. Can you move fire and then move? Okay, because I only move 10 feet, so I might as well start up that ladder.

Kralath, what do you do? So Krayloff is going to run across to the base of the mound that the tower is standing on, and he's going to use a dodge action again, hold up his shield, and then he's going to move his Scyth forward. This is round four of Scyth, and get it a little bit closer to the orcs, who haven't moved in a while. Are they just kind of hanging out? Yeah, they're discussing their lives. They're just having a chat, figuring out what they want to do. Right. I don't know. I could go back to school, but my dad wants me to be a dentist and I just don't feel it. We were about to go out in these curtains and everybody just disappeared. Speaking of which, it is the orcs turn. As

Kieran watches on the orcs retreat into the back of this kitchen type room, Jack and Kieran. The other side of that curtain's clear right now then. Let's press on, guys. Oh, right. And on my turn, I'm going to let go or head back down the tower, let the hawk finish them up. Doran does one of those cool things where he grabs the edges of the ladder and slides down. Splinters in his hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And puts your ass right in my face because I'm below you. Oh, Darren!

Well, I guess... Your ass is so smelly! I guess this is payback for climbing on top of me. I'd like Kieran to sort of fly south along the inside of that wall, sort of keeping somewhere high up in the roof, trying to just sort of see what's going on. Yeah. Roll stealth with advantage, please.

So there, stealth is plus five. and that's an 18 plus 5. Nice. Kieran stealthily flies into the room past this crowd of orcs that are making their way deeper into the kitchen and they spot an ogre

out of the corner of their eye as they try to find a quiet place to land. Doren, it's your turn. You're partway up a ladder. What do you want to do? Well, Doren drops back down and then double my movement towards the curtain.

Great, yeah. So you make your way just kind of to the bottom of the ramp there, looking up at Jack. Yeah. It's the hobgoblins turns. They're going to fire at you, Doren, as you move past. Okay. Nope. And that's a big no.

Oh, nice. I feel like Doren's, like, running at his top speed. He's like a little jingly, jangly guy, and there's, like, arrows landing at beside. Well, to be fair, it's really hard to fire a bow when you have a hawk attached to your face. Red, what happens next? I am going to hop off the ladder, head about 30 feet towards Jack, who's at the curtain to the grud hog. I'm going to spin around and I'm going to fire first at the one that's already been injured.

Nice. Without my penalty. 26. Yeah, that hits. 12 damage. You kill it. Yeah. Your arrow finds its way in between your hawk's feathers and just murders him.

And I'm going to fire out the other without a sharpshooter disadvantage. 21. Mm-hmm. Nine damage. Okay. And then the hawk standing over the dead corpse of the hobgoblin just like scrapes its talons along his flesh and then looks up at the hobgoblin who so underestimated how badass this bloodhawk is. And he does a little, and he is going to launch at that guy's face and tear it off. Lunch?

Yeah. Nice. And he launches off and dives towards the hobgoblin's face with a 21 to hit. Yeah. 11 damage. Oh, yeah. What does it look like when the hawk kills this hobgoblin?

The Blood Hawk was like so laughed off by these hobgoblins. He launches with his talons out forward, goes right into the eyeballs of the hobgoblin and slams him against the wall. And even like flies back, it slams him against the wall again. Wow. Like takes off towards the sky. So violent.

Red just gives like a thumbs up and looks over to Jack who's like, what the fuck? Yeah, I think I'm like staring back out of it. I'm sure that's exactly the same as the one that was outside moves. Why would it be, they're very distinctive. Something's weird. And the hawk is going to. Your bloodhawk's like an MMA fighter.

Yeah. And it's going to, for real. It's so like anti-red's personality. And he's going to fly down 60 feet just above us. And Red's going to continue up towards that ramp where everyone is heading. That's everybody outside, right? Yeah, that's everyone. Yeah.

I mean, that's everyone on this level outside right now. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So that was a minute. Wow. That happened so fast. That whole, like, giant everything, too. So, fucking.

Start to finish. We're like 10 or 12 rounds of combat or something, so like a minute, a minute 12. Yeah, it's like a minute, 10 seconds. Well, time flies when you're having fun. He says covered in blood. And Kralov takes a second. He moves forward as his scythe is kind of hovering in the air. And he cocks his head and he looks at it.

And then as he gets closer, his eyes go wide and he dismisses the scythe and he looks around nervously. And says, are we going in there? Yeah. And Red holds at his hand as this blood hawk. lands on his arm. Let's go. Hey, who's your new friend? Yeah, this is Scree! That's a Henry naming scheme. No, he's like angry. He's like, he's like barks. Woof. You hungry, buddy? So am I. We're outnumbered in there, folks, but it's, we can press the advantage here. And what is Kieran C? Well,

Kieran sees quite a lot. From their vantage point in the southwest corner of this kitchen, they see the crew of orcs that had gathered on the docks on the north of Gredhog. They're now gathered in this kitchen along with an ogre. They seem to be having heated conversation. They're pointing backwards toward you, toward the red curtain beyond which you stand. There's a large hearth in the middle of this room in front of which a halfling creature is trussed up, looking like they're about ready to be put on a spit for roasting. To the west, there's another room. It's got hooks all over. the walls looks like maybe a larder there are beast and humanoid carcasses hung here to dry flies buzz around

the room and a large hole opens down the smell of pigs wafts up from below welcome to gredhog again The Giants will fall. Thank you to our great old one Patreon supporters Michael and Breanna Weber, Adam Fry, and Christopher Ryan Evans for their continued support. Thanks, buds. See you soon.

of the ladder all good in the hood all the orcs are moving like orcs they're orking around at the bottom of the ladder it's time for them to be cool but they can't be cool because they're dumb they're dumb stupid song