Dice Shame - 53 | 'Horse and Rabbit Stew'

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

A dark cloud follows the party as they try to move forward in their adventure... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why amicure? Why not Aster? It's a really fascinating part of the Forgotten Realms. Frogs float right up. Shut up all of you. That's the rotting. This is just so great. You and me, we're going to have so many good adventures. Did they wipe your bum, too?

Oh, man, there's a whole range of sexual uses for Magehead that I'd never previously consider. Ranger training. It's like five goblins and a horse costume. Those horses are made of goblins. Remember that? That was great. Bye. What?

Okay. Goodbye. Welcome back to Dice Shame, episode 53, Horse and Rabbit Stew. MVP this week is Kimberly Caswell, who found us through our podcast of the Frost Maiden. Thanks for joining us, Kimberly. Dice Shame has been nominated for an Audioverse Award in the category of new improvised production. First and foremost, thank you to everyone who took the time to nominate us. If you have a moment, please vote for Dice Shame as Best New Improvised Production

and our own Joe Fallick for Best Player Direction in a new production. It would mean the world to us. Head to Audioverseawards.net slash vote to vote. All right, should we do this? Let's do this. Let's go. It's pumpkins outside the grocery store time of year, folks. We did our seasonal decor this weekend.

Oh, yes. I got to say, there are a few ways to attach a wreath to your door that don't result in a big hole in the door. Yeah. And I seem to have found one. You found one. Oh. It was an interesting one. It involved a lot of very thin string and glue and some screws, an iron, a glue gun, and the Henry's shirt.

Yeah, well, it's there now, and it's mostly secure. Well done. A new spell that sounds like a wreath in and of itself. That's right. Those are all spell components. We're looking for good Halloween costume suggestions, by the way. I don't know if you guys have got that stuff planned out already. But if you have any, like, three people.

Like, one of them is a little boy, and then it's me and Harlan. Yeah, you and me is like camel humps and Henry's the camel. Oh, we would kill him with our crushing bodies. Yeah, true. It sounds cute in theory, though. I don't know why I keep on thinking of Pokemon. Oh, that could be cute. Oh, that's not bad.

I mean, Henry could make a good squirtle. That's true, too. That's true. Don't go to the Pikachu route. That's overdone. It's oversaturated. Super cute. You do all three evolutions of squirtle.

Oh, whoa. That's cute. Isn't there one with guns on his back? Yeah. Blast toys? Gun squirtle? You can get those across the border. Blastoys?

Really? I'll have two turtle shell cannons, please. I mean, you know, with the way they sell fireworks, you could probably hook something up. That's fair. You guys could go as your D&D characters. Should we play? Yes, let's play D&D. Yes, let's play D&D.

I'm ready. Let's do it. Yeah. It is the morning of the second of Uctdo, the Rodding, which is like the November analog in the Feroon calendar. That's the rotting. That's the rotting for you. Roddy out here. That's right.

Honestly, I could get behind calling, just calling it the rotting. The rotting. Everything's dying, guys. When were you born? Twelve of the rotting. It's actually kind of metal, really. It is kind of metal.

Well, when were you born? The rotting. I'm fucking born in the rotting. So many cool. Why can't we have badass names? November. I think we do. It sounds like an example.

It's too familiar to us. Sure. It's lost its metal edge. Yeah, we open on red and bee hunting in the woods together. The sun rises watery and pale over the hills surrounding calling horns. The tops of the evergreens catch the light first, while the crush of dried leaves underneath the canopy is still bathed in shadow. We see Red and Bee walking quietly together,

bows out but not drawn, held with the careless ease of skillful killers. It's beautiful out here. It is so quiet. You know, I'm glad to be away from that snow. Are you feeling better? Yeah, I think I've shaken off the last bits of my cold. Red has this real sullen demeanor about him. Even the color of his fur seems a little bit darker after losing Asta.

And every once in a while, B catches him sort of looking off towards the woods as if he's scouting something. But in truth, he's just sort of listlessly looking out between the trees. Did you want to talk about it? She was a good friend. And he sort of shakes his head and walks off the path. I imagine there's these sort of wet ferns that he presses down and he kneels for a second, clears this little path before him. And he casts minor illusion, a new cantrip that he's gotten in ice.

Swindale, and I'm sure he's told B about this, maybe on the way here, and just her nay kind of sounds out quietly, not quite a whisper, but not loud enough to, you know, to scare things in the wild. The sound of her like wicker. Exactly, and he sort of smiles

and then closes his palm once again. I wanted to be very angry last night. I wanted to turn to Kralov and scream at him. Why am Icare? Why not Asta? And then he turns to be, and his eyes sort of fall, that anger underneath sort of dissipating. But then I thought of Jack and what he lost in Ice Wendale, watching his friend catch blaze before us. It's, he needed this. He needed this

more than me. And he stands up, sort of brushes the rotting off his legs, and, uh, And he just embraces B for a moment. Yeah, she gives you big hug and she whispers into your fur. I'm sure that Kralov didn't mean anything by it. No, probably not. And you can tell there's something on his mind. He sort of just lingers for a moment. B, it's important to remember that you have to be cautious always.

And he thinks back for a moment of what he saw Kralath. due last night before the trolls approached, the moment where he caught Kralath going through the bag of holding, and genuinely thought it was something relatively innocuous, but now in the light of the day, with the bizarreness in which Kralath excused himself from the stables, no smile to red, no warmth, no talk of, I'm sorry, or addressing the fact that asked to lay there dead, just leaving. This wheel begins turning behind Red's eyes, the same cold, calculated demeanor he has when he hunts. And he lays a hand on B's shoulder and just says, we'll just be careful together. Of course. Red, you know that I'm really happy to be here with you.

And I'm happy that you are here with us. I never thought I would have someone like you. And I think you're really teaching me things, too. I hope so. I may not be the best student all the time, but I've been taking notes. She pulls out like a little notebook and it's like, Red's lesson number five. And there's just like a drawing of her being like, oh. I don't know what those squiggly skings are.

But listen, you absolutely have been the best student. Take a, take an aim at that. And he sort of like aims her towards a tree. She loses an arrow. I rolled a natural 17. Hey, no. Oh, very natural. You know, she's proficient.

dexterous enough. In perfect parallel to the first time Red ever tried to shoot a tree which was episode one that he rolled a natural one on he's like you know

missing sometimes is just as important and I think we head back to the tavern right? So it's still fairly early in the morning Tamilin Zawar

has got some of the locals from the settlement to take a look at the holes in her place There's a couple of woodworkers there are already taking measurements and discussing how they're going to patch up the stables and things.

And we have, what, Kralath, Doren, Jack. You're all hanging out in the common room, probably. Having some breakfast, or what are you up to? Breakfast. I think Jack's probably got a book on the table, one of the ones that recovered from Nethro and he's just sort of eating around the book

and turning pages and just like, fascinated, it hasn't taken his nose out of it since. It's very Jack. to do. Which one are you reading particularly? I think this morning he is reading the Lost Scrolls of Sabriel, which is written in Elvish, of course, and a scholarly tome analyzes fragments of eight ancient scrolls left behind by a Sun Elf Wizard who taught magic to cloud giants. And so I think every time he's reading this old book, he's like, fuck, Zephyros, I bet you didn't know this one. And, you know,

all of the ways, he's like, well, I can't wait until I tell my dad about how much more I know about giant source of magic now. Jack and his dad issues. I'm really curious if Jack is one of those people who reveres books such that you wouldn't doggy or a page or whether you're like writing notes in the margins. Oh, God. You can't, these are antiques. You can't possibly ever get another copy.

There's your answer. How could I even ask? I mean, do you have book reading gloves? Well, I, he uses mage hand to turn the page. Absolutely, absolutely uses mage hand. I think Jack's soul is still damaged from the time that the treasure box got thrown at him by Chief Good, Gred Hogg, just because it was an antique and it got broken on his body. Like, that damage hurts him. So sad.

Not writing in the pages of his book. He wakes up at night screaming and a cold sweat. He does have a notebook nearby taking notes and page numbers, though. Yeah, and I think Krayloth is sitting there, and Krayloth has eaten most normal people's Phil. and as he's kind of chewing on a grind of bacon, he kind of turns over and he's kind of taken by the little stack of books that Jack has there. You've kind of got them laid out.

I imagine you weren't sure which one. Yeah, he's got quite a collection of them. He's carrying a little library around in his backpack, not quite letting it out of his sight. This little stands them up in a row around. He's got like a dozen different volumes he's sort of looking through. Yeah. Makes a little book for it.

And Kraloff is just, He's kind of looking at the spines of these books, you know, just quizzically reading through them. Doren is sitting and enjoying his morning coffee and his morning cigarette and he's having a long conversation with his orc splitter, his axe. Oh, yeah. He's got a small pint of like specialty wood oil and he's oiling up the handle of orc splitter and he's kind of like polishing the head. say what is the biggest orc that you've ever taken down too many to count oh that was the answer i was looking for this is just so great you and me we're going to have so many good adventures doran feels like the kind of guy who would get stuck chatting to a bot online and just be just

tells me exactly what he wants to hear it's like there's sort of responses to what he's saying but not really circle yeah yeah yeah because the axe is not terribly intelligent like she's aware of what's going on and she knows what's happened to her in the past and stuff, but she's not going to be able to give you, like, the most sparkling insights that you've ever had. It's perfect for Doran. The two of them are, like, just doing exactly back and forth. Yeah. I'm, like, braiding the little piece of, little piece of leather that hangs off the tail. I love that because, you know, you care so much about weapons. Like, she's in really good hands. And I feel like at some point, Red and B enter in. And there's,

There's sort of this, like, physical wash of cold wind that bursts in to just sort of perfectly set the awkwardness. He's holding, like, two hairs, one in either hand, down by his side. And, yeah, it's kind of quiet. He sort of glances at everybody and then sort of looks down to his feet. And immediately, Kralath stands up. He says, Red, B, come on over. I got food for everybody. Come on.

There's plenty here. We got some, we got some, I think these are po- eggs and we got some bacon here and some scrambled potatoes. Be kind of looks sideways at Red for just half a second to sort of judge his reaction. Yeah, well, you know, I was part of B's training. I was going to show her how to cook these hair over the open fire. We're just going to be out front if anyone wants to join. Just come and do the same thing.

Okay, well, I can gladly come out and give you some pointers. I want to teach myself but you can come I understand that no no it's okay I'll sit here and no I keep on reading

you guys have a nice breakfast and red light turns around and sort of walks out the door and then as the awkward conversation is winding down between Kraloth just hangs in the air Doren looks at the axe and says

Have you ever skinned a rat? I can show you how it's done. Come on out. You could do that tough work. Oh, yeah. And then I proceed to go out. Kralov turns to Jack after Doran's walking out with this great axe that he's going to skin a rabid with.

And Kralat's like, yeah. I got to see this. And he follows it out. That dwarf lives to skin things. So as you guys are on your way out and I guess building a fire on the front lawn of the skin. No, like, you know, just off the edge of the woods. I feel like this is part of the ranger train.

that like he wants to show because like it's not just about hunting but also about trapping and killing and cooking it's definitely a small settlement there's I'm gonna show how to make rabbit Jackie the edge of the forest is right there so you're there building a fire and Tamolin comes on over

while you guys are building your fire to cook this brace of rabbits we have the permits she's like I just wanted to say again thank you guys for defending the inn oh no problem we look up it's like kind of falling apart

spot where the troll had climbed up the side of it is it yeah yeah you're welcome if everybody else is going outside I think he would sort of pack up like a beautiful note of where he's coming and the beast like walking and reading at the same time Mage hands holding the book and flipping the pages

why not? Oh yeah it could be it could be Mageehan floating the book in front of him absolutely well that's and that's how Naxine same way Naxine did it Classic wizard trick. Yep. He's maybe got his own, like, minor illusion list of, like, notes he's keeping beside him on the other side floating. I love that.

Cool. Yeah, but he's coming out. Did they wipe your bum, too? Oh, man. There's a whole range of sexual uses for Magehead that I never previously considered. Oh, wow. I never thought about that either until you just said that. Right.

Oh, the possibilities are endless. Wizards, am I right? We're all single, I guess. Creeps. For a reason. I mean, why not? So why did you choose mage hand as a cantrip? Well, there's this spot right up.

Every teenage boy's choice for the cantrip. First one you want to learn. You know, they say presiditation gives you fireworks, but only mage hand makes me explode. Oh, boy. You watch as Doran sinks the axe into a stump, and one edge of the axe sits upwards towards. him as he takes one of the hairs.

I'm assuming you give him a hair. Yeah, I'd give him. I'm like, oh, I'll do one of these and you guys do the other. And the axe is now, you know, it was very gruff. It still is gruff, but it was a little bit dull. It's now, like, so, so sharp. I pluck a hair out from my own head and I, oh, look how sharp you are. I feel like when you stick her into a log, it's like, wee! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hold here. And then what you're going to do is, yeah, slice right into the skin as you watch. Well, that's how he does it. This is how I do it. And I, like, go over to be, like, trying to be like, that's, you come around here and you pull it off. Instead of moving the knife on the rabbit, Doren moves the rabbit on the sharp edge of the axe. The axe. Anyways, that's all I'm getting that. So he removes the skin. So you're heading out to Nuanar's hold today? I suppose so. Yeah.

I know there's someone who'd beg you a favor if you were heading out that way. A man named Orthavir. He lives just down there. She points at a little cottage off the ridge. He also runs the Lion Shield Koster. So if you need any shopping done, then... That's sort of that, like, franchise pop-up shop, right? By Kevin Kossner.

Right, right. She turns to you, Red. I know that you lost your horse last night, and Orthavir would be able to help you out with that as well. Yeah. My eyes, like, flick to Kralaths for a lot. a second and then back to her. Yes. Othavir could help me with a horse. Right. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. There's like an awkward silence among everybody. But at this point, Oren trundles out of the

inn and he's carrying everyone's bags on his back and he's like, Master Red, I've got your things. It's all right. I got most of them here and I tap the bag of holding, which hasn't left my side since the previous night. So he's like packed up everyone's bags and he's like, thanks, Orin. Yeah, thanks, Orrin, that's really nice of you. A good job, buddy. Thank you so much for letting us stay here. You're welcome for saving you from the trolls. Sorry your house can be in better condition.

That's all right. It'll be right as rain soon. So what's Orthavir? What's the favor he wants? I think he's got something to deliver to Nuanershold. And if you're headed that way anyway, then, you know, it may as well. If it's a horse, we're going to kill two birds with one stone.

And Duranhans read the skinned rabbit and sheaths his axe. He says, I don't see why. We couldn't stop and do another favor before we leave town, especially to get you a new horse there, Jack. I'd say you can ride shit for her, but... Red. She's just a pony. Emma cares fine.

My horse died, Doran. Let's not worry about it. Hart's in the right place, though. How far is this place? Two days travel. Sorry, I mean... Orthavir? What's just down there?

Orthavir? She points again. I just pointed. I'm sorry, I had my eyes on a rabbit. You know, if you walk up to... to somebody who's skinning a rabbit and ask for their undivided attention, then you should expect them to not know what the fuck you're talking about.

All right. All right. That's okay, Red. I got the maps for us. Don't worry. All right. Thank you. Thank you. If you need anything else, let me know. She wipes her hands on her apron and heads back up. Kraloth is going to follow her. Okay. And when she enters the inn, I see that she's a bit surprised by seeing me.

Oh, yes. Hello. There, and I say, oh, it'll only take a moment. I think we have all our things, but I just wanted to to speak with you about last night. Yes, what do you need? The matter of the horses. All right? Those horses, the one that died was very special to a friend of mine.

And I just want to make sure it gets a proper burial. Oh, yes. Well, whatever you need. Thank you. If I can be quite frank, you're lucky that we were here last night. those trolls would have done some serious destruction and I am grateful that we were here as well but I think that the least that you would be able to do

is buy us a horse, replace the horse that we lost. She sort of crosses her arms over her chest and looks hard at you for a second. Master Kraloth, I didn't require payment of you to stay in my inn, did I? You didn't. And you're being here with these horses, I believe is what attracted the trolls to be here in the first place. As proprietor of the inn that has sustained all this damage, I don't have much to my name going forward in the world into the wintertime.

So I hope you'll not find me ungrateful if I don't offer you any coin. The best I can do for you is a letter of recommendation. And I hope you'll be satisfied with that. At the mention of the horses being the reason, the potential reason that the trolls attacked in the first place, it's clear that Kralov hadn't thought of that, and his eyes kind of go wide, and he kind of sputters, he nods, that that would do, that would do. You'll have to give me a few moments to find my writing supplies in the rubble as my room has sustained some damage. She turns around and walks out of the room. and she comes back maybe two minutes later

with a parchment rolled and sealed an unfamiliar sigil some colored wax and tied with a ribbon she hands it to you and she says my reputation doesn't exceed me much beyond calling horns but you should find this would gain you favor in the neighboring villages as well

beyond that I'm not sure what I can do for you good day Kralath I thank you and Kralov leaves with letter of recommendation. Kralath returns to the group and hands over the letter of recommendation to Doran. And he says, oh, Tamelin gave this to us and said that it might gain us some favor in the neighboring villages.

Oh, thanks. Oh, geez. Yeah, you think she'd give us more than just a bloody letter after, you know, we had a horses killed. God. And Doran clearly searches for a spot where he can put this letter where it won't get damaged. Soaked in blood.

Like it very much will be damaged. I've got a bag. Doran, I've got a case over here. I could put it in. It's already stained somehow. Yeah. Yeah. You don't mind, Colonel.

Do you? That map case we put together for you, Doren, if you actually tuck the letters in the fold here, they stay in one piece. No creases. It's perfect. It's actually what it's made for. Oh, that's very nice of Tamlin

to let us stay here as he tucks the... Doran the Lion Shield costers over here. Let's go. All right. I'm coming. So I think B and I, being on our feet, sort of go as the crow flies down the ridge and say, I will meet you there, guys, and head off. Ranger training.

Wee! Who's Oren been riding with? Dorn. It's Doren and Oren on shit fart. I mean, that's a talk show. I got to listen to. Classic. Come on, Oren.

So we all go to Orth of Ears. It's this little cottage, very unremarkable. It does have the crest of Lion Shield Costa on the front door, but apart from that, it's a little bigger than most of the other cottages, but not by much. There are two horses stabled around back. Ah.

Hello, horses! And I sort of take a looksy at both of them. And I assume the others sort of arrive at the same time. Yeah, we're about the same time. And is Orthavir kind of out and about, or is he inside? Yeah, orthovir is outside sweeping the ground.

Wake up! Stop sweeping. Good day to you. Oh, hello there. Hi. Hi, we are travelers, adventurers, and I need to buy a horse. Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, these aren't really for sale. No, we're headed to Nowners Hold, and you have a package to deliver there?

Is what I think we were told? Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, yes. Wonderful. I have a package, hold on. When are you leaving now? Are you leaving now? Yeah, probably.

Yes, okay. Momentarily. He goes inside quickly, and you hear the sound of, some struggling from inside, and he sort of hauls out this crate. It's marked with the lion shield coster emblem, and there's some, like, rattling from inside. It looks like it's a little bit heavy, and he's like, yeah, oh, thank you guys so much. This is awesome. Okay, I'm so sorry. I thought that you just wanted to, like, buy a horse, and I don't really do that, but if you're delivering to Noonar's Hold, you can have a horse. I can have a horse.

One of the horse, whichever horse you want. This one's nice. This horse's name is Bruce. Um, hi, Bruce. Hey, that's Bruce. Oh, Bruce is fun. What's your name? Uh, me?

The other one. Oh, this is Snowdrop. Oh, hello, snowdrop. Oh, I like both. What do you think, B? Wait, I guess B, you should have a horse too. Can we buy the other one? You're going to nine hours hold right now and taking this for me.

So, you know what? take both of my horses. I don't need them. Are these horses cast? No. Can I roll insight on this guy? Sure. This is way too forthcoming with a natural one.

For shame. This guy's the best. Let's take these holes. You think that they're trying to rip you off. You think that he has a disease where he makes horses from his own bottom. Come on, it's winter. Where's he going? He doesn't want to feed a horse all winter.

Do you know how expensive that is? He's happy to get rid of him. I mean, that's pretty good rationale. But is that what a one gives me? The one gives you, you don't know what this guy's deal is, but he sure is friendly. I don't know what your deal is, but you sure are friendly. Why don't you take Snowball, B? Snowdrop.

Yes, she seems lovely. Krayloff gets off, Glenn, and walks over to this box, and he kind of taps it with his toe and says, so what exactly are we going to be delivering here? Yes, that's a very important. in detail, of course. So these are saddles and bridles, the finest that I could make and source. And you'll be bringing them to Nguyenar's hold to one Amrath Monobar. He's in the keep there.

So just bring that to him and you're done. That's it. Oh, well, why don't you bring it yourself if you don't mind me asking? I am running late on the sale, couldn't get them out in time. so it's kind of awkward. I don't really want to make the journey. It's four days round trip, so... Okay, well, seeing as we're already...

Going that way? Yeah. Fine by me. Thank you. So, just take the horses and go. Yeah. Can I look at the horse? Can I do, like, an insight or an animal handling or something

to see if they're, like, diseased? Oh, yeah. I mean... It's like five goblins and a horse costume? Those horses are made of... of goblins. I love how we got like these really untrustworthy people. A two.

Oh, wow. What dice is this? This is Tomb Tapper. And you know what? Tomb Tapper is done. I'm ashamed. For shame. Shame.

That's it. It was a natural one and a natural two. And frankly, I hit the Tomb Tapper once out of like the four times I attack. Yeah, we're done. That guy's done. I am going to get a new dye. Shamed. And I am going to name this one,

Megan Shepherdson after our new great old one Patreon supporter Thank you Megan Megan Shepardson no pressure Don't you roll no

ones But if you don't roll no ones Megan Shepardt You will go in the jar You don't want to be in there All right Yeah I guess I'll I'll take this one

B why don't you take Snowdrop there and I'll take Bruce Is your name Bruce And I'm just I spend a minute with my primary awareness and just sort of try to read the feelings of this creature and he leans back after a minute and he goes your name is truce true stephen this is true stephen guys the truest stephen come on

and he starts leading him out of the path guys i want you to introduce you to truce uh true stephen and uh he's going to be our companion for a while and i imagine he's this black horse like uh he's really tall he's got this odd thing and he's knee. He's got like a white dot on his knee, like a white patch of hair on his knee. Yeah. I think you don't do. Snowdrop is like pretty much like pure white except her main is kind of gray. This isn't a crate here. Is there a way to just like strap it up to the horses? No problem. Yeah. There's like a like a little cart that he gives you guys. That's like one crate big. Perfect. Ah, okay. Guys, we're losing light here. I really don't want to be

riding at night. You remember what happened last time we wrote a night? I got lost in a blizzard. Yeah, that was funny. Remember that? And I, like, turned to the owner, this dude. I'm like, remember that? That was great. Bye.

What? Okay. Goodbye. And we ride off with our clearly sabotaged horses that are going to explode when I turn. I think it's the package. Who's holding the package? Mage hand? Probably Bruce.

Bruce is, like, used to the cart that Orthavir hooked up. Who? Oh, Truis. Truis, Treas, Stephen. True Stephen. So, Ryan, Truis. You're a good boy. We're going to get to know each other.

My old horse, Astor, was my favorite. Oh. You're going to ride alone for a while. So the Evermore Way is a gravel and dirt wagon trail that travels mostly in an east-west orientation. It cuts through a strip of grassland between the high forest to the south at the Evermore's to the north.

So you guys are all traveling east. It's sort of northeast, but mostly east. And as you travel, though the Evermore's don't butt up directly to the Evermore away, you can still smell them now, especially as the sun gets higher in the sky as the day wears on. You can smell this like acrid, boggy smell. And frog-fog- shrouded hills mark the start of the moorland, beyond which, who knows what may lie. Did you say frog-shouted hills? Yep. I did.

frog shrouded hills. It's a really fascinating part of the Forgotten Realms' geology is sometimes the frogs float right up and you've got to... Shut up, all of you. There's so much freaking frogs. It's soupy with frogs.

Yeah, it's where that, you know, you put the frog in hot water saying comes from the photo. All right, roll for initiative. Dun, tant, dun, da, frog cloud. No! Frogs, the end. I know that Krayloff has quite the high passive perception

and I also assume that Red is doing some scouting up ahead of the party. So both of you... True CNN. Maybe red, you spot the glint of metal off the path to the north. Hold up, glint of metal. And Kralath, you hear the cawing of crows on the wind. Hmm.

Some crows as well. Yeah, I was going to say that too. Crows as well. I said it the same time as him. I heard it. Glint of metal, I mean, that's very important. Duren jumps off his horse and grabs shit for her. by the rain.

It kind of goes off to the side of the path. Okay. Yeah, Jack gets down and leads Emma Kier next to Doren. Yeah, let's all do that. We got to be smart about this. Oh, Kieran, why don't you go take a look over there? Fine. Thanks, Kieran.

Yeah, Kieran takes flight as a raven and circles overhead to the north some distance and then flies back and lands in front of you, Jack, hopping. And you hear the imp's voice in your head. It's a scene of battle. Blood soaked. Is it still happening now? Do you hear battle? I don't know.

I didn't see it. No. This is the first instance that I feel like there's a bubble. Not like an accusation, but something like, hmm, that seems to be weird. Yeah. The relationship between Kieran and Jack is very different. I remember Kieran like curling up in your lap and being affectionate towards you. You've never once seen this Raven, like, be, I mean, it'll ride on Jack's shoulder,

but it's never like affectionately picking through his hair and preening him the way that you might have seen Kieran do. And I do genuinely think that Red, it doesn't even say anything about it, doesn't, but this is the first instance that when this Raven returned, and the way Jack's talking to it, sort of like cautiously, like, oh, can you maybe go check that out a little bit? It just, it just felt weird. And maybe even Red and Doran just share a quick look to each other, not really knowing what they're feeling, but just feeling something. Yeah, so like, do you see that too? And then we shrug it off. There's a battleground up ahead. So do you guys head forward to check it out?

Yeah, let's tie up the horses and go in on foot. And I'm going to just spend a minute and do my primeval awareness to see if I can detect any humanoid within a five mile radius. Do I sense any in the direction that we would be heading? No, there are no humanoids within the immediate area. Perfect. And then I'm going to cast pass without trace and suggest that we approach stealthily on foot.

Okay. Yeah. Everyone roll some stealth checks, please. Stealthing it up. Come on, Megan. Stealthing it up. What are you going to get for that? I've got my new ice wind die.

Oh, so pretty. Oh, wow. It's beautiful. Yeah, what did you guys roll? I rolled a three. Bad job, Megan. That's a 19 for me. 28.

I got a 15. 22. The four of you creep silently northward into the hills before the marshland and you come upon this blood-soaked field. There are tall grasses here

flattened and the soil marred with evidence of a great battle and picturing like the Lord of the Rings Aragorn coming upon like the Orichai like seen hobbits Like all the It's my favorite

Christmas carol. I think you mean the rotting carols. What we have? Yeah. It's the rotting carols. There are corpses that litter the ground here, and they're obviously felled by violence. What kind of corpses?

Well, that's a great question. There are 18 humanoid corpses overall, and the corpses of two, fire giants. Their corpses are being picked at by carrion birds, these crows that you heard Kraloff, and a couple of wolves who have not yet detected your presence. They're tearing at flesh on the bodies. They're stripped of flesh mostly and buzzing with flies, crawling with maggots.

These bodies have clearly been here for a little while. Wow. How far across is this battlefield, right? I mean, you haven't really walked the perimeter, but it's definitely more than 100 meters wide. Hey, Red, grab the rod of the Von and Dodd quick. Okay. And somehow while sneaking, I pull this massive rod out. Yeah, I do.

Mage hand. I pull up my massive rod with mage hand. That's perfect. It's just flops out of your bag. Yeah, and let's see if there's any adamantine in the foreseeable area. The way he uses this thing, it should be called Rob of the Von and Dog. You know? It's good and bad at the same time.

It's brilliant. So bad. Yeah. You do not detect any adamantine objects within 10 miles. While they're doing their rod thing, Kralath's going to cast Eyes of the Grave, just to see if any of these corpses are more than just corpses. No.

they are all mundane dead people and giants cool good to know so it's just those wolves that we have to worry about there's only two of them do they look thin or uh no they're thick ass wolves yeah they've been eating these wolves are clearly interested in scavenging what what flesh they can from the bones they're both on top of one of the fire giants and because you guys are so stealthy they haven't noticed you Right. I think we could probably just scare them off, Dorn. Absolutely. Get out of here.

Go. Scoot. Yeah, at that, the wolves lift their, like, grizzly heads that are red with blood, and they eye you, and then they sort of hop down off the bodies and the lope away into the grassland. Oh, good. I was like, what did you do? And they attack. Trouble.

Make it double. Kralath begins walking across the field towards these fire giants, and he's like, oh, this was going to need a pretty big hole. Oh, I got you. Don't worry. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I think Red stands up next to Doren and the two of us sort of behind

and look at oldest countage. Yeah. Hey, Red, why don't you endure and take a look at those corpses there and we'll start burying the humanoids? Sure. And I'm going to cast Detect Magic. Sure.

And just sort of walk around and do a sweep of the area before burying any corpse. These bodies are missing their valuables and their clothing as well as their flesh and their vitality. They have been pillaged, stripped bare, by whom you're not sure or when.

Those wolves! Damn, wolves pillaging. Yeah, you notice when the wolves ran away that they're carrying sacks of gold and trinkets. No, I'm just kidding. All right, Doran, help me with this. We drag some bodies. Yeah. I'd like to kind of roll a perception, maybe.

Yeah, please. With a 14th. Yeah, underneath one of the corpses that you pick up, you find a piece of car, carved wooden jewelry. Oh, cool. Carved jewelry, he says as he picks it up. Oh, cool, Doren.

Oh. It's broken in one place, probably when, you know, this violence happened, but it looks like it probably was once, like, a necklace. Nate, are you going to use that for something? Yeah, maybe. It's kind of pretty, eh? I was thinking maybe we should give it to be, make it feel part of the family. Maybe I'll do that.

It'd mean a lot coming from you, bud. I'm going to park it. for right now. Hey, you know what, might be a good little pick-me-up. Check this out. And I'm going to cast minor illusion, like 30 feet away. So this undead head starts crawling across the ground just near Kralot's feet. Abomination! We just hear the smacking of a shovel against the ground behind the fire giants. They're not all dead. They're not all dead. Everyone alert. And Dora and I are like rolling on the ground. But Kralath, the dead. The Deadhead crawls on.

What the hell? It just goes right through it. Whom, boom. Good times. Kralof in his craziness. That was good. That was good. Damn it, Red.

So I've got the holes ready if you want to lower the bodies in. Oh, yeah. Yep. And Kralath has been moving them over and kind of piling them up next to where Jack was. And he begins pushing them in. And watch for any of your, uh, Undead heads as I push more bodies in. Not funny, Doran.

The undead is no laughing matter. You know what? I just thought of this. This isn't good. It seems like there might be more fire giants on this path. Yeah. You think we're getting closer to their base? I don't know.

Kind of like the hill giants had their base of operations. Who knows? Well, then let's just keep moving. I think we need to get to our destination as soon as possible. As we get back to the horses, Kralath says, Hey, Oran, hop down for a second. I just want to take a look here. And he pulls off the crate and looks for like an opening mechanism.

Is there like a latch or is it locked? It's like nailed. You'd have to use a crowbar to pry the crate apart. Which I think some of you have crowbars in your adventures kit. I have a crowbar. You got a crowbar, Doran? Yeah, of course. And he reaches into his backpack and grabs a crowbar.

Here. I don't know. Something about that guy. I don't really trust it. You're going to open it up. And then, yeah, I'm going to try to pry it open. Here, let me help you. Yeah, thanks, Doran.

Doran, you open the crate to see five fine leather saddles bridles, you know, horse stuff. They're packed in loose straw. They look normal. Yeah, they look like saddles. But maybe they're sabotaged. Explosive saddles. I mean, we could. cut to all of us riding

our horses continuing on, but we're all riding like really nice saddles. And the box is filled with just crap saddles. You know what? I think maybe we should just try and make this look like it was unopened and he starts tapping down

the staples. Yeah, you put the lid back on the crate and hammer it back down. You do a pretty good job of disguising the fact that you pride it off in the first place. I guess I guess he was trustworthy. Sorry about that, guys. As you hammer the nails back into the crate

and everyone gets ready to hop back up on their horses, you catch a fleeting glimpse of a cloud castle floating a mile or so above the Evermore's. Its three towers of gleaming pearl-white stone are only visible for a few moments before the mysterious stronghold disappears behind the overcast skies of the marshland. A castle on a cloud?

Things are miserable, but not that miserable, are they? Thanks again to our Patreon supporters, Adam Fry, Megan Shepardson, Christopher Ryan Evans, and Merlin. You make this all possible. See you soon.