Dice Shame - 61 | 'Love is Blind'

Episode Date: December 10, 2020

The team heads down into the depths for love... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you okay in Zair? Jack's lost it a little bit. Crazy eyes. They've got crazy eyes. This is for me. You guys have to figure out your own. The creature is right there. It's right in front of you.

Their bodies are covered in broad planes of what looks to be kiteness armor. It takes Jack to some dark weird places. Ha ha! Boo! Jack's losing mind. Doran inspects the cavern looking for that crack where there might be the grill. The gill? Grick.

Right. Welcome back to Dyshame. This is episode 61. Love is Blind. MVP this week is Doug Churchman or DigDug, as we know and love him on Discord for his awesome attitude and unending support. Hi, Doug.

Hi, Doug. Are you enjoying our show? Whether you've been listening since day one or you've binged the show over the course of the last week, please consider taking a quick moment to subscribe and leave us a positive review on whatever podcasting client you use to listen. It would mean a lot to us. Please.

All right, should we get down to it? Let's do it. It's game night, everyone. Yeah. Nice. Harlan and I just finished off some dinner. Me too. What did you guys eat?

Well, I think the early days of Daeshame kind of carved a groove in like cerebrally in my brain because I now associate playing D&D with you guys with making breakfast. Hamcakes. We had breakfast for dinner. I love a breakfast for dinner day. That's lovely. Oh, Brinna, as they call it. Of course.

Rob, do you do the whole, what is your breakfast for dinner, though? Is it like cereal? No, I don't know if I have a go-to breakfast for dinner. I'm not saying that in a disparaging way. Anything eggs related feels breakfast-y. So as soon as you like start to approach an egg anything for dinner, that feels breakfasty. Is Blunch anything? I'm also a big fan of Brinner.

It's a wonderful space to eat. Jeremy? Breakfast any times. Who? Jeremy. Jeremy Brinner? Jeremy Brinner? He's pretty good.

He's great. For dinner? Jerfee Brinner. Jerifie. Jerry. Jeremy Brinner. I want to be Jerifie Brinner in this. Jeremy Brinner.

Jeremy Brinner is coming for dinner. As you can tell, we're all very prepared to play D&D. Yes. The Kurt Rocker. All right. Well, that should set the stage. Oh, great. Speaking of stage setting, shadow cock.

Shadow top. Shadow cock. Shadow cock. It's just a giant shadow in the form of a cock. It's just that this mountain casts a shadow that's just suggestive. So massive. Yeah, it's just super. The mountain itself looks fine.

I thought I made to clue to you guys that there's a giant penis sticking up out of the tree. Standing in the shadow of the car. I mean, nothing would suit the giant campaign more than a giant penis, a phallic representation. Welcome to the mushroom kingdom. As far as I can see. We're in the underdark? No, sit here. No, sit here.

Should we play? Yeah, let's do it. More cock jokes. So Doran, Red, Kraloth, and Jack have found Shadow Top Cathedral after many long weeks of traveling. You've met a friendly Seder named Greenwistle Who's asked you to help him by ridding a cave system of spooky monsters Which are surely lying in wait for you at this very moment You're standing in front of this hole in the ground

And it's pretty deep So you're going to have to get something to help you climb You can see a craggy part of the rock Where Green Whistle had attached a rope To help himself climb down into this hole and as you look deep down into the hole, you see that it falls, it's like some 30 feet drop.

Whoa. See you, suckers, I got a climb speed, Red says, and then just like waits. But, you know, maybe it makes more sense to go down together. I'm scared. Krayloff, Pat's red on the back,

and while he does that, he's going to cast warding bond, just subtly, just say a couple words. Nice. Kind of like secretly. And I don't even know. No, you just think I'm, talking gibberish.

Doran approaches the edge of the cave and he drives a peton into the top of the rock, right? To secure his own rope. And he looks back at Kraloth and Jack says, this is for me. You guys have to figure out your own. Okay.

So don't be using my peton. Yeah, this is for team. Awesome boys, right, Doran. That's right. That's right. And I attach my rope. And we do our secret handshake that is just nothing. We like make it up at the same time. Yeah.

Okay, good. rappels into the, and I'll do the same, and repel super clumsily. Kralov turns to Jack and says, any idea what that was all about? They're the sensitive ones. So, Doren, you repel down into this cave. Why don't you roll a climbing check for me? So that's an athletics check. 14 total.

Hey, you do great. Oh, good. Yeah, you repel down like a pro. You make it look easy. And Red, you don't have to make a climb check. You just descend. But I make it look hard. You make it look bad.

It's difficult. I think Red, like, you know, he's great at climbing, but, like, also his, like, claws are getting stuck in the rope. He's like, ah, ah, so it's, like, really haphazardly. Like one gets, his, like, foot claw gets stuck and he, like, falls a few feet and grabs again. Yeah, like, cats with a wool blanket. The benefit of him on, like, a rock wall is also his bane when he's on, like, a rope.

Right, right, right. Additionally, it's canon that you don't like being under. ground. No, I don't. That's why this is extra fun to have this competition. So the chimney's interior is craggy, but it widens as the two of you descend, so you've denied the purchase of handholds apart from just the rope that you're using to drop yourself down, Tom Cruise-like, into this cavern. The bottom is almost 30 feet down. It's a small and slanted cave that tips down into a larger cavern. So far, it's just Red and Doran at the bottom. What do you guys do?

I think I'm going to cast pass without trace. Okay. As an aura radiates for me, giving us plus 10 to our stealth. Cool, cool. And Doran pulls his axe from the sheath. You ready for blood orky? Yeah, let's do it. All right.

Come on, Doran. Those two think we're dumb. We got a lot to prove here. Doran inspects the cavern looking up at the crevices and all around and looking for that crack where there might be the grill. The gill? The grick. Grick I'd like to say that

Doran is spilling out under this world but it's quite the opposite Yeah but it also plays into Doran's insecurity that we're both the dumb ones Yeah like the gram We'll get it

You don't see anything On the ceiling of this tiny entrance cavern that you're standing in Kralath descends down Doran's rope without caring it all about what he said

But before he does He casts guidance on Jack again Make a climbing check. Ten? Ah, yes. You very clumsily descend the rope. Yeah. And you're fine.

Just want the camera to show the three of us looking into the tunnel and Jack just go, Wump. But not going to hurt. Mr. Bean-esque fall from the line. Soundless and violent. Jack, Pat's Kieran, and then sort of like makes a way for them. to go sort of leap and half climb half fly their way down the tunnel

and then like takes a deep breath and he's like, I'm gonna be okay, I can climb this, I got this, I got the guidance. Holy shit, I rolled a natural 20. Hey! And just like grabs the rope and slides down like a fire pole.

Jack is ready for this. He's gonna scale this. Your cape is flowing. You're like, do it beautifully. But no one sees still. Yeah, no one sees it. Quiet, Jack, shush, gosh. All right.

What do you do now? You're all crowded in this tiny cavern. Doran, why don't you take the lead? This is your home for sure. And then Doran holding his axe, he's peering up and down to the right in sort of a sweeping motion, looking for cracks and gaps where this... You got this... Grick. Yeah, fuck yeah. Nailed it. You've done it. You've done the thing. Where the grick might squirm out.

But I'm getting a little bit of the... heby-jeebies just thinking of this squirmy kind of gross creature falling out and flopping on me, you know? It's gross and yucky to think about. Yeah. It's also like the same size as you, right? Like, it's not like a tiny little thing either. Like, it's a person size. That's right.

So you move deeper into the cavern? I do. And I'll follow. Okay. Are you stealthing? Yes. Everyone roll a stealth check for me, please. It gives me a 14.

24. 16. 32. Shut up. Jack believes in love. This is happening. So cute. That's great.

Doran, you move, like, down this corridor, silent. You look to your side, Jack is there. Yeah. You look to the other side. Jack's also there. What the hell? And as you move. Super Jack.

Into this cavern, you are scanning the ceiling. Yes. Looking for these ambush predators that you were told about by the, this love-sick satyr. Yes. Oh, yeah. This next cavern is much larger, some 40 or 50 feet across and reeks of old death. A few rocky protrusions extend from the floor and walls, and two five-foot-wide tunnel mouths exit the northern wall.

In the center of the cavern floor, atop a little boulder lies a small pile of coin, mostly copper and silver. Doran on the ceiling, right above where this tiny pile of coins lies, you see two creatures just hanging there. They're coiled around stalactites with maws open and steadily dripping streams of this disgusting saliva, just like a gob, like alien. Yeah. A gob of spit just like falls down to the cavern floor. You see them clearly. You know what the worst part is, Doran? That's not a grick.

What? Aren't they? Oh, I thought they... Those are gricks? Okay. What did you think it was? Jack, what are you talking about? Jack's losing in mind.

He's not thinking, he's thinking of something else. He's too much in love with the idea. But as we move in as I see them, I put my hands on the chest of Red and Jack who are standing sort of next to me. And I say, there. And I point up to the stalactites where these gricks hang. Why don't we just try to skewer them from here?

I look at red. And red nods. I point to Dorn and myself and sort of using awesome, cool hand moves and sort of makes eye contact with everybody. And it's like, let's all attack the closest one on the count of three. Do you mean on three or three shoot? one, two, three, shoot. Okay. Not one, two, shoot.

That would be on two. You guys hear that? Well, technically you're right. One, two, three, shoot. I'd recognize this. Not one, two, shoot. Everybody roll for initiative. Oh, my God.

I'm glad I'm rolling all these shite rolls before we're in battle, because all I've been hitting is like twos and threes. Justin, what did Kralath roll? 12. Hey, that's not bad. It's above a turn. Rob, what about Jack? Jack's got an eight.

Harlan, what did Red roll? 17. Alex, what did Doren get? Three. That's not something to write home about, really. No, no. Just I'm glad it's on initiative. All right, you guys want to take a surprise round

against these creatures? They do not seem to have noticed you. Yep. So, top of the order for the surprise round, Red. I'm going to cast Fairy Fire as a bonus action on the one closest to us. Nice. And it is going to have to do a dexterity save.

Ah. That's a seven. So that fails your deck save Perfect. Amazing. So it is Bade Than Fairy Fire, which means we all have advantage on this attack. Okay. And then I'm going to attack it. 19 plus 9.

Nice. And I rolled max on my damage die. 22 damage. Wow. And then I will attack again for my second attack on the same one. Sure. 27 to hit. Yeah, you hit it. 20 damage. You kill it. Its body falls

off of the stalactate and lands with a disgusting squish on the ground of the cavern. Red turns around with a thumbs up. You guys get the second one. Nicely done. Kralof, it's your turn. All right. The second one hasn't seen us yet technically or has it still seen us because of the... Technically not. No. Technically you guys all get to act to act in a surprise round before it notices you. Perfect. In that case, I'm going to cast Sacred Flame. And it has to do a dexterity saving throw. It's a 21. Oh.

Sorry, Justin. But Kralath is going to move into the room as well with his shield up. Please do. And a big bait icon on his forehead. Nice. What does that look like? Just a piece of shrimp. Yeah, these things look like they'd be down for some shrimp.

Yeah, okay, yeah. Wonderful. Jack, it's your turn. Yeah, Jack pulls. out a lovely glass bottle from his bag and walks forward and pulls off the stopper and says a magic word and a geyser of water shoots forward out of his hand as a bonus action. I realize now that I should have been doing for a long time. Fun. And this geyser water shoots up at the thing up on the roof and it needs to make me a DC-13 strength saving throw or take

one D4 damage and be knocked prone. Ooh. Four. Nice. So take three damage. It does. And it gets knocked to the floor with this, like, geyser of water. And in his other hand, he pulls out his spellguard sphere and tolls the dead, says the magic words, and holds up his glowing ball, and tries to... First, let me make some damage rolls because it falls.

Oh, yeah, it does fall. So the creature gets knocked prone, which I interpret it as meaning it's going to lose hold of its attachment to. to the ceiling, and it drops 20 feet to the cavern floor. So it's going to take 2D6 damage. Oh, good call. Okay, so that's five more damage. Nice. So it makes, like, it kind of bounces a little bit and then squirms on the ground.

Calamari. And then I'd like a wisdom saving throw for 15. Oh, all right. That's a natural one. Oh, nice. Not a great start for my monsters tonight. So Jack holds out the spell guard sphere and says a word in this big dollarous bell sound fills the room and there's 18 more damage to this one.

Nice. This necrotic damage pulls its soul from its body. Wild. It limply writhes on the ground in pain and opens its spiny beak and lets out a very sad cry. Honk. Brings a tear to my eyes. Doran, what do you want to do? Doran, finish this motherfucker.

Yeah, Doran like rushes in, runs the full 25 feet right up next to this creature. and just starts hacking at it on the ground. Do it. You know? Roll to hit. So that's going to be 19 to hit. That hits. 16 damage.

Wow. What does it look like when you kill this creature? Oh, it's like gross. When I hit it, I hit it lengthwise, and it's like an eel, and it just splits open and like unfolds inside out. Ew. Yeah. Kind of gross, actually. I kind of gross myself out when I said that.

Yeah, I'm grossed out. Red, it's your turn. Is it still combat? We're still in initiative order. Interesting. Uh-oh. The music's still playing, guys. That's so true.

I'm going to ready an action then. Okay. For when monsters come into this room or when I see one move. Good answer. Good answer. Kralath, it's your turn. Kralath carefully moves into the room next to Dora and next to this. Is this a stalag tight?

Might. Might. This is a mite that's like, This is the most important thing that you guys have learned. Tight is from the top. The tight's hanging from the top. Tight hanging on tight. Yeah.

So this is a stalactite has a ceiling, which is the start of the, like, see, you know? Nope. That's how you know. Sealing? I don't understand. Stalak tight has a C in it and ceiling starts with the C. You have weird mnemonic devices. She tried to tell me a number the other day and I'm like, that's just more confusing.

Scalagmite. Brains are fascinating. No. doesn't. Stalagmite? Oh, Stelagmite. Where's the scene in that? Oh. It's a mite. Let's just keep going. So you go to the Stelagg.

You go to Staggy. And I'm going to get next to this thing. And I'm going to dodge. I'm just going to get my shield up and I'm going to get ready to dodge. All right. So we've got a ready to action. We got to dodge. Jack, what do you do?

Kieran, do you see anything? And I would like Kieran to look around with their keen sense of smell and their ability to see things that are invisible and their dark vision and all their freaking senses to roll perception little guy i'd love to does a sense of smell help me does not does not no smells will help me in this darkness not in this instance um a 20 oh yes with a 20 kieran spots another creature in this cavern this is another grick but it's much larger than the two that you have just defeated. Right above me.

Right above me. And it looks like it's about to drop down directly on Kralov's head. Oh! That's awesome. Kralath, watch out. And I'd say the word for this geyser and point my bottle at it and blast some water in its direction. And then I started blasting. And then I started blasting.

All right, I make a strength check. Strength check for 13. I mean 21. That'll do it. But it's wet now. So that's a wet grick we're dealing with. I mean, most importantly, it's... I'm also a bit wet.

It's revealed now, isn't it? Can I take my action? Well, you... Do you see it? I mean, he just blasted it with water. That's a fair point. And he yelled out. He yelled...

There's one there! He yelled and blasted. So... Not to mention, if the thing could roll to dodge, it had to move. So it would have... You know what, Harlan? Yes. You see it.

You see it. It has been seen. Oh, it hasn't acted yet, has it? It's about to. You can see it just starting to slide off of the stalactite. That's stalaggy. Stag. Math.

Yeah. Oh. 23 to hit. You hit. Nice. 15 damage. It's good damage. That's not great.

19 to hit? Whoa. Yes, you do hit. Bingo, bango. As they say. Bingo, bingo. Bingo, bingo, buddy. 16 damage.

Yikes. It makes a terrible noise. Hong, honk. Sounds exactly like a bicycle horn. Because the first one went honk. This one's bigger. It's two. Auga.

Auga. Jack, would you like to finish your turn? He'll finish my turn by pulling out the Spell Guard's fear and saying, these magical words in the arcane languages I know to try and pull the soul from this thing's body, it would like it to make me a wisdom safe, please. All right. Eight. Eight will not do it.

So I'm going to roll 2D12s and get 15. Wonderful. Great job, everybody. Great job. You're doing good. The creature slides down off of the stalactite directly onto the heavily armored shoulders of our party cleric, Keralath. Uh-oh.

Good thing he was dodging. Yeah, very good thing. So it is going to attack you multiple times. Yes, it is. I figured it would. Hmm, with disadvantage. It's going to attack you with its tail, first whipping this powerful, long, snake-like tail. 17?

That misses. Oh, hot damn. And now it's going to try to attack you with its mouth tentacles. Gross. That's another 17 to hate you. Misses again. So it misses. Turns out Kralas a badass.

And that's what it does to you. Doran, what do you do to it? Doran slashes and hacks at it, obviously. You have to jog over first. Oh, yeah. Doran runs a couple steps over and with his axe, swinging wildly over his head. He comes down on the creature. That is a 12 to hit.

12 misses. Oh, my God. Okay, first attack. Second attack. Your ego has been bruised, though. Yes. You take one. One ego damage.

Second attack. Ego death is the worst. Your bum turns bright red. And 18 to hit. That hit. Hey! And then that's going to be 14 damage. Very good.

Grick slicer. Great. With the scraping, crumbling sound, two large creatures emerge from the tunnels at the north side of the cavern. All right. Their bodies are covered in broad plains of what looks to be kite-ness armor, similar to a crustacean, and their hunched torsos are propelled by powerful-looking rear legs. Their arms and curved claws snap at you with a set of foot-long, spiny mandibles,

and their eyes hold an alien expression of malice, and they rush at you. Crabbs? Oh, shit. These are not crabs. One of them flanks you, Doren, and the other comes up on the side of you, Kraloth. as they go on either side of this stalagmite protrusion in the middle of the cavern, and they will be attacking you in short order. Not short order.

It's never going to be in tall order with you, Doren. Oh, short joke. Doren 20 to hit you? That does hit. So one claw hits you, and it misses with the other claw deals six slashing damage. Trash. And then it tries to snap at you with its huge men. mandibles.

That's 17 to hit? Tie goes to the... The tacker. Yeah, hits. Okay. So with its mandibles, it gets right around your bicep, and it just starts squeezing. I flex. 19 slashing damage.

Ooh, holy moly. Okay. Kraloth, with disadvantage, this other creature comes at you around the corner while you're preoccupied with this weird snake-grick creature. 19 to hit? That hits. One claw hits you for seven damage. And then again, it comes in with its mandibles and gets them around your neck and tries to just squeeze. With a 16?

16 misses you with the mandibles. All right, guys, you feeling a little bit more serious about this? No pressure. Supertherial. No, I doubt. Red, it's your turn. From the way it looks. So it looks like I'm too close to it to move out without taking an attack.

Yeah, you're really close to the grick. And because I'm next to it, I would be at a disadvantage if I used my bow. So, for the first time ever, Red drops his bow and draws his rapier named Witt, that Jack sarcastically named it back in Waterdeep. I remember that. I think I said, what should I call it, Witt? And you're like, yeah, it suits you well, asshole. Some 40 episodes ago. That sounds right.

So I'm going to pull out Witt, and I'm going to attack this. But I am going to use my bonus action to cast Hunter's mark on it. Okay. And because it is damaged, I will be doing a additional 1D8. if I hit, and I do a regular 1D8 with my rapier, so hopefully this will hit. Come on, Witt, this is their first time out. Don't embarrass me. That is a 24 to hit, 10 damage.

Okay. And I will attack again. Do it. Come on, roll better, dice. 16 to hit? No, you miss. Damn. Yes.

Kralath, it's your turn. Yeah. As you stand up next to this creature, trying to dodge its blows. I want you to make a charisma saving throw. Okay. 16. You're all right.

What do you do? I'm going to shout over to Doren, and I say, let's focus down this Grick so that we're not surrounded. And I'm going to cast sanctuary on myself as a bonus action. And then for my action, I'm going to use the help action to give Doren advantage on his first attack against the gritty. Nice. Agreed. Wonderful. Okay. So it's the Gricks turn. It's going to turn to face red who's

been stabbing at it with this rapier. Ha ha! Making that sound. Yeah. He's like proper fencing. I'm like jumping in and jumping out. You're actually surprisingly skilled. Yeah. He tries to whip at you with its tail as it turns around to face you. That's a nine to hit. Whoa, it's attacking me? Ooh, yeah, that misses. I'm picturing the dog from Labyrinth. Yeah.

I'm God. 14 to hit? Nope. And what about a 26? Yes. Okay, so it hits you with one set of its tentacles for 21 slashing damage. And as it gets those tentacles just wrapped around your shoulder, it pulls you in close and bites at you with its beak, misses with a 10. Nice.

so I take 10 damage because I have resistance because of warding bond brilliant and then that that other 10 goes to Justin yeah Kralath probably yeah all right so Jack what do you do is red grappled no perfect okay the first thing Jack does is whatever that weird kite in his left is he blasts it with the decanter of endless water that's his bonus action make a charisma save uh I got a five well that's not great for For you, my friend, I'm going to let you know right now. All right then.

As you turn to blast this creature with water, you look into its eyes and it drives you insane. Uh-oh. You are incapacitated by this gaze. Oh, beautiful. And you are not able to do anything for this turn. Oh, fuck. Incapacitated for the rest of my turn, huh? Jack.

Jack. Jack, are you all right? Jerk? There's nothing. Yeah. Well, I shouldn't have done that first. Had other things. Oh, shit.

So you can't take reactions until the start of your next turn. And... Can't take actions or reactions? Can I move? No. You are incapacitated? You do nothing this turn. So, Jack, you are affected by this foreign look, this alien gaze.

Yeah, it takes Jack to some dark weird places, and he's entirely in his mind for the next couple of seconds. Mm-hmm. I think Kieran can probably act of their own accord, but not by your instruction. Yeah, I imagine. Now Kieran's going to hang out right where they are. Okay, Doran, it's your turn. Doran watches Jack get stunned, but with the sound of Kralas voice in his head ringing out,

Focus on the Grick. He lifts his axe, again, high above his head, and comes down on the Grick. attacking it, 18? Yes, you hit. Nice. Nice. Thank goodness. Kill the motherfucker.

Eight damage. You kill it. Yes. Good. Perfect. Wow. Nice. Good job.

So I chopped through it. Well done, Dorn. Now, I have two tacks. That was only one attack. Can I switch my focus? Yeah, you can. Absolutely. Okay, so then I'm going to switch my focus, and I'm going to attack this.

So as you turn to this creature, you meet its gaze, make a charisma check. 15. You are fine. Make your attack. Okay. That is going to be a 15 to hit. No, you miss. I swing wide.

You do. Strike one! yells the Empire. It's a creature's turn. One of them that is right up beside you, Dorn is going to retaliate against your attack. It'll make two attacks with its claws as previous. 24 to hit and a 19. Both.

Hit. 21 total slashing damage between the two. Oh. And then it's going to attack you with the mandibles. Oh, my God. 19 to hit you. Yep. And that's 13 slashing damage.

How are you doing, Doran? I am down to 20 hit points. Oofah. All right. From 79. Kralath, the creature that is up against you is going to make some attacks. You still have your sanctuary pumping? Yes, I do.

So he has to do a wisdom save. Oh, that's going to fail. Okay, great. That's for every attack. Until the spell ends, any creature who targets the worded creature with an attack or harm for a spell, must make a wisdom saving throw on a failed to save the creature must choose a new target or lose the attacker spell. Hmm. Interesting. So I think it's going to lose that attack.

And it's going to try to attack you again. Okay. That's an 18 for the wisdom save. And it hits you with a 20. It does hit me with a 20, yes. So it will deal... Six slashing damage. And then it will try to hit you with the mandibles.

Wisdom save again? 13. Fails. 14 is my save. Interesting. So I think it's going to spend the rest of its turn. Throwing a tantrum? Moving around you.

So that I think it took a little bit of time for it to kind of understand that there's something preventing it from attacking you. And then it's going to move to. easier prey, this bleeding dwarf that is right beside it. All right, everyone. Red, it's your turn. First, I'm going to pick up my bow. Then I'm going to disengage as an action and I'm going to head up as far as I can to the north of this little cavern area as far away from everybody else as I can and just stay there. All right, Kralath, it's your turn. On a hunch, Kralath is going to turn towards Doran, and he's going to cast protection from evil and good. Nice.

What does that do for us? This is a complete gamble, but until the spell ends, its concentration, one willing creature you touch is protected against certain types of creatures. Aberrations, celestial, elementals, fey, themes, and undead. Nice. Cool. Okay. So you cast protection.

Yeah. And then the creatures of these type have disadvantage on attack roles against the target. The target also can't be charmed. frightened or possessed by them. If the target is already charmed, blah, blah, blah, blah, the target has advantage on new signals, blah, blah, blah. Okay. That's the end of my turn.

All right. So you turn and you cast protection from good and evil. It's a bit of a judgment, isn't it? How do you know they're evil? Jack, it's your turn. You snap out of it. I snap out, huh? Yeah, what do you do?

Well, thank goodness. I'm going to do Plan B that I'd thought of doing last time. I'm going to extend the orb and fill the room with fog. Hmm. That's my plan. Interesting. Okay. And so I'm going to create fog.

Okay. So you blind everyone in the radius sphere. Everything's heavily obscured. You're all blinded. And then I'm going to shout, back up to where we started. If we can get that tight corridor, only one of them can hit us. Run back. Hmm.

And then I'm going to move back out of the fog cloud to where hopefully. You like run your hand on. along the wall. Yeah. Hopefully those other folks have a good sense of where things are and can get back here. And then I can't see any creatures within range. And so I'm going to do nothing as a bonus action. But that's my plan is everybody, they can't see you back up.

All right. Interesting. So fog just blooms out of nowhere and obscures this cavern almost entirely. And then, Jack, you retreat back into the opening. beyond the fog cloud into this tiny space that has a rope hanging down from it looking up into this like a little bit of light that you can just drink in from the surface. Doran, it's your turn. Doran is going to make his best effort to move back to the doorway hearing this. Doran is not feeling the greatest because he has been hacked and bitten by these damn giant whatever that. are. So you're going to move.

Are you disengaging or you're just moving? I guess disengaging does not give them the chance to hit. It's an action. I will disengage. Okay. You disengage? I need to step back. I'm going to take this advantage and I'm going to step back into the hallway. Try and try and make some room so we can restrategize these things.

And then I kind of slink out of the way. Not in a... Like the Grinch. Boo. I make it just outside of the fog cloud. Yeah. It's the creature's turns. The one is still going to attack you, Krayloth.

Okay. It's going to be rolling with disadvantage because it can't see you, but it knows where you are. Natural one. Hi. Oh! For the wisdom save for its claw. That's a 14.

14 is even with my saving throw. So that succeeds, and now it has to hit you with that claw. 14. No. All right. And then with the mandibles, in its fury, it tries to hit you. That's a 12 for the wisdom saves, so it misses. All right.

All right. Red, it's your turn. All right. I'm at the north. Unfortunately, on the other side of this fog cloud. So I am going to hug the wall, I suppose, to the east. and try to head back to the entrance. And I'm going to use my feline agility to move 90 feet,

which should get me back there pretty easily. And I'll do it relatively quiet, so it's not to draw their attention, hopefully. Unfortunately, Red, as you hug the eastern wall, this shape just looms up out of the fog, and you almost bump directly into one of these monsters, and it tries to snap at you with its mandibles as you dance around it. Nine to hit?

No. So you're able to just dodge right out of the way. And I continue along the wall and I'll head back down to where we started. Great. And once I emerge from the fog with the others, I'm going to pull myself back and I'm going to ready my action for the first creature that I want to kill that pops out of that fog. All right. Crayloth, it's your turn. Crayloth is surrounded by fog.

He knows that this creature has moved away and he has no idea where it's gone. I'm going to move forward, and I'm going to try to make my way through the fog towards... You've bonked. I've bonked? Yeah, so as you make your way through this fog, you directly walk into one of these creatures. Gotcha. Its kite-ness body stands directly in front of you. Perfect.

Okay. Yeah, I'm going to just continue to walk around it until I'm right next to door. And I feel out of hand. Right here. and it lands in a kind of squishy beard. Is that you, Doran? Squish. Yes, it is.

Blood soaked. Come here, and I grab your arm and I pull you in to the corridor. Yeah, well, don't pull me too much because I can't move out of his range right now. Oh, right. I guess I kind of guide you. Doran, the creature is right there. It's right in front of you. I'm going to try to point it out.

Get your axe ready. I don't want to hit you. And I'm going to use the help action to guide Doran's attack. Move out of the way. Kralath, you're right up next to one of these creatures, and you hold Doran by the beard and take the help action. Yes. You should just swing me, and I'll swing the axe.

Doran, what happens next? Use the beard like whiskers. Oh, like finding your way. Yeah, like just swing the beard out. Oh, I help my beard touch something. Oh, I, you know, then Doran goes with him. What do you do, Doran? Doren, he's going to do his best to wildly swing at this creature.

Oh. Okay. You're going to have to kind of move past through your friend, Prel off. So I kind of like put my hand on his chest and step in front and to the side of him. You know what I mean? Sure. And then I just bring my axe up above me. And I, you know, like, Doran's a skilled enough warrior that he knows he's not going to kill or he's not going to hit.

At the forge, he's had enough time bringing his hammer down. in the right way. He knows he's not going to hit Krayloth. He's certain about that. But Krayloth doesn't know that. Do you move farther into the fog cloud? Not farther in. Maybe I take one step into the fog cloud.

Sure. Okay. I'm kind of standing just outside of it. So I step just inside of it. So roll just regular attacks. So use that. Against this creature you can't see. Let's do it.

Come on. Dorian, it's your time. Dorian, it's your time. rolling a 22 to hit okay absolutely 10 damage okay that's fine that's 10 more damage than anyone else ever did but then I also take another swing yeah 24 to hit yes absolutely doing 15 points of damage nice great job I can hear the blood hitting the floor okay and I take a step back out of the fog cloud okay okay Um, you hear like a very strange sound coming from within the depths of this fog cloud. Maya! It sounds like scraping and moving of stone.

E. And then Kraloth, this creature lashes out at you. Wisdom saving throw. Wisdom, say, fing, throw. Uh, 17? That's good. For you. For me.

15 to hit you. That's a miss. Hey. Then it's going to try to attack Doren. No. Not Doren. Is it an evil or a good creature? Is it one of those creatures on the list?

Oh, yeah, he's got protection. It's not any of the creatures that you have missed, unfortunately. No. Just a level one. Good to try. Doren. It tries to hit me with disadvantage, obviously. Yeah, so it can't see you, but it does have tremor sense.

So it knows where you are. Right. But it is attacking you. with disadvantage. So it's a 22 to hit you. I rolled, that's a measly nine slashing damage. Hits you with the 22. Hits me.

Yeah, and he misses you with the mandibles, but you do see them as they come snip snapping out of the fog cloud. Red, it's your turn. Well, it doesn't look like they can get in, boys. What's everyone's plan? Are you going to move in here? Are you going to stay in the doorway,

Doren, Trayloff? Into the room or into the... I'd rather you step back so we could defend you better. If you pull back, I can ready an action. Otherwise, I'm going to get some Stephen up in this bastard. Duren clutches his arm and slinks back, more slinking back from Doren. Grinning through the pain.

Okay. Yeah, and I say, Doren, yeah, you get back and I'll follow you in and get ready to use your second win. Yeah, absolutely. So all again, ready my action, waiting for those things to pop out of the fog. Kralath, what happens next? Okay, Kralath is going to step into the tunnel, and he's just going to do other attacks of opportunity against me. It doesn't take any attacks against you. Okay, cool.

Ever? She said it. Guys. So as he gets back into the tunnel, he's like, oh, it's good to see you all on your feet. And he's going to pull out his holy symbol and cast Beacon of Hope, which is a concentration, which does remove the protection. from good and evil, not that that really mattered. And he's going to cast it on everybody and say, if any of you want to heal, now's the time to do it.

And for the duration, each target has advantage on wisdom saving throws, death saving throws, and regains the maximum number of hit points possible from any healing. Cool. All right. So good time for cure wounds, second wind, all that jazz. So Kralath, you become the cork in this bottleneck where all of your friends are to the south of you

piled up in this dark little cavern, I guess. 30 feet above you is the exit to this cave system. You see Green Whistle's little head poke down. He's like, are you okay in there? We got this. Crazy eyes. They've got crazy eyes. Jack's lost it a little bit,

but I think he still believes in love. Jack, it's your turn. What do you do? Jack is going to grease up that entrance towards us to make anything entering it. Old school. Troubled. Lubrication.

Lubricated. And then he's going to rack his brain trying to think about anything he's heard about something with big kiteness armor and claws and crazy eyes living in the underground to see if he can know any more about this or know what their name is or any associations he would have. I'd love to roll in Arcana or something.

Yeah. I mean, I think you'd probably be rolling. What I mean? Nature, history? Let's go with nature. Why not? Nature. How do we feel about a 26? Sure.

We feel fine about a 26. Nice. This creature has an ability that you think is innate, that it's going to be causing you to have to make these saves every time you look at it. Yeah. What do I want to call these creatures? What association? You could call it an umber hulk if you want it to be specific. Umber hulks.

Is that jam, man? It's just part of them. It's these monstrosities of crazy eyes. They mess you up. You can't look at them. Most terrifyingly, you realize that it is able to tunnel through solid stone. It's going to take them a minute. They might come at us from any direction.

I want Jack to realize his plan that's failed first. Because that's too. This whole, like, you know the moment of the movie where the guy's like, wait a minute, wait a minute, guys. and he, like, looks down by his feet as the rocks are, like, shaking? You hear the sound of moving stone, and you realize that they're already moving.

Awesome. But now it's greasy, so that's good. Oh, shit. What do you do next? Get rid of the fog cloud. No action required. You can end concentration at any time. No action required.

And fog cloud is concentration. Well, there you go. But so what's grease? Grease is the word. It's the way. It's the motion. Grease is the way that you feel it. It's the time.

It's the place. From where on your body does the grease emerge? Do you dispel this? Go grease lightning. Yeah. Stop concentrating on the fog cloud. Perfect. Are any of them in my eyesight?

Yeah, you can see one past over Krales' shoulders. Make a charisma safe. Deal. Pretty sure your wording bond does plus one. Warden bond. Yeah, and saving throws. Plus one on saving. Bond.

Warden bond. eight you fail it's okay because my action is it though so I'm just I'm freaking out but it's not my round right yeah this is still

part of your last turn it would be my previous round that's what happens Doran it's your turn what do you do Doran uses his bonus action second win first gets full hit points on that

nice and that's 17 hit points back up so I was at 20 that may be bringing back up to 37 not bad action if this if this thing comes slip sliding through the grease

through Kralov What's the story behind Greece Can we like walk through it at half speed to basically This guy Danny So and he has a summer You gotta go back to the stomach So there's this there's this Sandy

And Danny This lovely summer to go literally Out on the sand They got down Did she put up a fight? Summer 11 you know Tell me more Tell me more

Shoebe do beat up No So if you enter it Or end your turn there you make a deck saving throw or fall prone. And the sound effect like whoopopop, boop, boop, and there's definitely a

bump, bum, bum, bo. A wuga. Yeah, okay, okay. I guess in my sense, I am still going to ready in action. So you heft your axe and you get pumped. Yes.

And man am I pumped. The sound of grinding rocks and rumbling grows louder. grows louder and louder. And then the floor underneath you starts to shake as a creature erupts out of the ground right in front of you, Red, Jack, and Doran, right behind you, Kralath.

Of all the dimensions I thought of when it could dig, down and up was not one of them. Who's got a readied attack? Yeah, nice, Doran. Make a Christmas save, Doran. fuck off a natural one natural one no for shame

this is going to prison you know what dice jail you know what's even better I rolled a D8 to find out randomly what happens to Doran because of this failure the creature makes one melee attack against a random creature

so you've got orc splitter just in your hands ready to go I don't think you know what better means And you are directly beside Jack and this creature. So you attack Jack, your good friend. You see this creature emerge from the burrow that it's just created underneath all of your feet, and you turn on Jack Page.

Roll to hit. Frack. Good one, Jack. Also, I think we're going to die. Boy, I hope Doran doesn't hit Jack. Or at least doesn't kill him. Thank you once again to our shamers and great old ones alike. Christopher Ryan Evans, Mitchell Cadwell, Charlie McBroom, Colin Burkhart, and Merlin.

Hey, listen to this. Dorian, it's your time. Let's wait to see if he critz. Yeah. It's your time. It's possible that he will crit. Yeah. He knows what green whistle is in love with.

Doreen, it's your time. But it's not a monster that was deep in. It's your time. But it might. Time. Do it for love. Do it for love. Time.

Do it for love. Do it for love. Time. Calamari. Giant Calabari and it's your time. Calamari. Giant Calamari and it's your time. Oh, yeah.

That's what we're here. In Jack's mind, this is some horrible, formless blob of an aberration from the underdark that's fallen in love with a creature from the start, and it's a beautiful love story. As long as it's not undead, Kralath approves.