Dice Shame - 63 | 'Party Animal'

Episode Date: December 24, 2020

With the tunnels clear, the party is about to start... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!?   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fucking what just happened, okay. You never say no to a dwarf in the nude. And Kralath looks a bit concerned as well. That's right, we're rolling dice tonight. Now we're going to need some dynamite, I think. Not invented yet. Listen here, Green Whistle. If there's one thing true about me, it's that I don't think.

Not even once. It's true. And Doran looks back a little bit of a bum blush, and he says, Oh, I'm not really sure. I almost squashed you guys. I love that bum blush has become a thing. It's canon. It's a bum blush.

Hashtag bum blush. Welcome back to Dyshane. This is Episode 63, Party Animal. MVP this week is Masey Star for her amazingly kind Pod Chaser review. Thank you so much, Masey, and please, if you have a moment, go leave us a review of your own. If you're listening to this episode when it comes out, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from all of us at Dyshire. Shame and the Invictus Stream. Stay safe and thanks so much for listening this year.

Merry Christmas. All right. Should we get to it? Let's do it. Here we go now. La La La La dice shame. Very good. I don't know about you guys, but I personally always always.

tend to fall back on wearing kind of a personal uniform day in and day out. I have a standard black tank top usually and like, you know, whatever kind of pants that I have going on. Yeah. But it's like, it's easy. I always, I have like fucking 20 black tank tops. You do. I fold them. I know you do. And I just, I like it. I don't have to think about what I'm going to wear. I'll put like a sweater on on top, but I always got my black tank top. I always got my black tank top. going on. And I wanted to know, we haven't ever really talked about it, but what do your characters wear? What are your characters? I think in one of the first few episodes read, you described your cloak that you wear because you mentioned your hood that covers your severed

ears. But no one else really talked about it. And now that we're getting, you know, merch out there, we're having some really amazing fan art done of our characters. were seeing like Jack in a poncho and like I just I could see I mean poncho jack it would be a fancy poncho it would it would have really nice pockets I definitely pictured jack as as wearing like if you look at like the 1920s archaeologists where you got people like digging up dinosaur bones and stuff but they're all kind of like in a button up shirt with rolled up sleeves and a tie I kind of I kind of always picture him channeling that with like a big bag strapped around him and you know or and some kind of jacket that's a little bit too fancy to be like traipsing through the woods and tunnels and stuff, but it doesn't stop them.

Does Jack wear a tie? A fantasy tie? It's very possible. Like I don't know what a forgotten realms fantasy tie looks. I don't think it's a bow tie. I'm thinking cravat, right? Like that that fabric that you like tuck in. Ascot. Yes. Yes. So like something just a little bit, a little bit, I mean, a little bit too fancy to be traipsing around in the mud. Jack in a nutshell. But you know, the thing about quality clothing is that it's durable, right? So like, I picture you do. You go for a tumble, right? But your clothing's never ripped.

Like, it's durable and it washes well. So, like, yeah, you don't expect to see you traipsing around, but you are and it suits you. Jack's got the best clothes money can buy. Yeah. It's adventuring formal wear. Now, but he doesn't have mending. Like, he's not fixing it, you know, magically. Like, it's still worn and durable and he's, he's, you know, there's a lived in quality

to it, right? Like he's not afraid of the real world in that sense. What about everyone else? Doren, for all of his rough and gruffness, he wears an armored sort of tunic that has leg flaps that go down. And a butt flap? Like armored leg flaps. Samurai style.

Over top of pants. Yeah, yeah, sort of like samurai stuff. Exactly. But no, it's not, funny enough, it's not torn and ragged like his personality. No, because you, canonically, you mend everyone's shit when you have a minute in between battles at the fireside. If there's a piece of chain mail that's like come unlinked, you're there with pliers fixing it. Yeah. If I have a tear in a jacket, I sew it.

Yeah. And I cut off threads because I don't want threads to turn into fras and then frizzled and then... Into what? Fraze, you know. Frayed, frades. Fraze. Fraze. That's all flissorflat.

Friend Rob. Rob. I was also like Rob. Frazy frog. Kralath. He mostly cares about finding clothes that fit him rather than, you know, actually style, which is personally a problem that... Six, seven.

Real life, Kralov, Justin, has to deal with on a regular basis. And one thing that he does wear that I don't know if he's going to need too much anymore, his pack has a pole. that extends from it rises up where he would keep his lantern. When he would wander around Borovia, all of the people that he would

travel with, you know, would need a source of light and the lantern would hang from that. He'd cast light on whatever was inside and... That's pretty neat, actually. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's stylish as hell. But he doesn't need it anymore now that he's got these goggles. I almost feel like

because of career loss height, there's like, he's like, he's wearing normal pants, but then there's a second leg that's been sewn on on like a different fabric. Like an extra foot long for the pant leg? I like that though. Unassuming, but you got some weird

accessories. I got some weird accessories. And Red, you are a furry creature, so I mean, I don't think Tabaxis wear shoes. No, what we wear are sort of like leg wrappings. Like it goes around the heels of our feet all the way up.

to just below our knees, and it's sort of like, you've seen me tie them tight with leather straps many times. It's almost like lacing up boots, except it leaves the front part of our feet uncovered. But red is very interesting because being the only tobacco you've seen besides B, you always sort of thought he dressed typical to tabaxies, but B dresses very differently. Red dresses more like a human. He wears a lot of layers, a lot of cloth fabric layers wrapped around himself. With a breast plate, he's got half plate methral armor that is under his cloak, which lies on top.

And it's sort of a deep forest green cloak that now around you guys, he mainly leaves down. But when you first met him, he kept up a lot because he was a little bit more self-conscious about his ears being severed. And he's also got a shoulder paldron on only one shoulder again. Interesting. I never heard about that. Yeah, we've never asked. It's been 60 fucking four episodes. That's for the old one. too. Well, he's got one and then

sort of on his other arm, he's sort of got like a leather v strap. It's all sort of attached to the quiver and stuff. The quiver on his back as well as bow. And then his rapier and four. Is it fashion? Is it got a utility? It's because he always aims one way, right? It's always the shoulder that is out when he's got his hand

extended. So he would have two, but he's an archer. Well, that's the thing. So his forward arm, his left arm, is more heavily armored, whereas his right hand is typically only has a half glove, which keeps his fingers exposed. Cool. Which means when he is, you know, if he ever needs to turn away from an incoming shot,

his left side is more likely to take the hit, whereas his right side is a little bit more exposed. It's also when he duels, because the way he fights is like fencing. So also when he draws with his right hand, he's not armored in his right hand so that he can actually move quicker with his right hand than his left. So what's beware then that's more typically tabaxi in traditional? I think she's got, like, she's wearing suede, so it's animal hide, but it's treated in a really specific way. I think she's got, like, a bomber jacket type thing going on up top, but then she's got, like, a, like, a skort.

So it's, like, a skirt with shorts on underneath, and her tail, like, comes out at the back. But, like, a lot of pieces, like, like, her, she's kind of got a tank top type thing, too, where it's, like, leather straps. And, like, again, hand wraps are really, really popular wraps, because with tabaxies, whether it be feet or hands, we always, we always, want access to our claws. So wraps are always preferred unless you're red, who typically dresses like a human, which is confusing. Yeah. And bees' ears are not clipped. No. Neither is her tail. And what about Oren? Before we get into this episode, what's Oren wearing? Oh, Oren's wearing a bright little blue waistcoat and some smart brown trousers. Cute. I think he's got like a pauper hat on top as well. And no shoes?

And, no, he doesn't want his shoes. And he's got like six instruments just strapped to his back. No shoes club, buddy. And the reason that I am interested in all of this stuff is because it's almost the wedding day, but not quite yet. So you found the rear of the rock slide, and Green Whistle has begged you to come back through the cave system. Now that you've vanquished the monsters preventing him from reaching his beloved. What do you want to do now? I guess we've got to go back to him, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's no sense. staying here, although maybe tonight I'll come back and study that other room with the weird magical energy for a little bit. Well, I mean, once we get Greenwistle, we'll all want to come back here. I want to see who is bride to be is, assuming that it's not a creature that's going to eat him. I'm sure it's going to be fine. I believe in love. I also believe in love it. I truly believe that he's probably met somebody, and I suppose if he crawls into that cave and it turns out to be one of those walking catfish, then it'll just gobble him up anyways, right?

To Baxi Fish. Look, we can believe in love and still be cautious. I feel like we've gone to a very binary way of thinking, and that's not necessarily true. Let's just go back, tell him, and then escort him to his true love. And then if everything is hunky, we'll watch them kiss or something. Is that what you do when you're on love? I don't really know. And I look to Kralath with big hard eyes.

I don't know. Yeah, bro. Tail bump. Oh, I don't have one. Neither do you. All right, let's go back. Okay. So you guys head back through the passage.

and caverns of this cave system back into the entryway, I guess this little mini cave where the rope is dangling down from the hole that leads to the surface. And you see the silhouette above you of Greenwistle's horned head looking down. Oh, there you are. Hey, Greenwistle. Come on up. All right. And I climb back out.

We've cleared the cavern out of all of the monsters that we're there within. Should be safe to bring you there. he like helps you guys all up out of the hole offering you his little arm truly i have to thank you so much for helping me with this whole cave issue this is amazing thank you friends marilla told me i would have to wait there inside the cavern for her on our wedding day and now it's going to come true that now that's all that's left is to make some preparations for our guests to arrive Yeah, you'd mention guests. Who's coming to the wedding? Well, some friends of mine,

they should be arriving at any time now, actually. I'm kind of excited because it's been a while since I've seen some of them, and not to be stereotypical or anything, but Sater's love partying. Well, Saturday, and I have to tell you, of course, you're invited as guests of honor at the ceremony, I insist. Accept it. Well, if you've got some friends,

then we should maybe clear it so that your friends don't have to go all the way back here. Maybe we could start clearing away some of those boulders. That would be very amenable to me. I was going to ask if you had any trouble navigating the cave system, whether there was any kinds of spulunking? There were a couple griffs and some big crabby-like things. But other than that, we dispatched them pretty painfully. Oh, yeah, there was the giant pit as well.

Oh, yeah, and there's a big chasm. I really am not sure if Red meant gricks or rifts, but both could be true, but this could also be a grift, and so we're... Little bit of vouch. It was also a big pool. That could be fun. So you're not going to meet your beloved until tonight. Well, the wedding is tomorrow morning, so... Well, I guess you're going to wait until the wedding day.

Yeah. The other member of Team Awesome boys is the only one that sort of recognizes that there might be a bit of threat here. And Red sort of raises an eyebrow to Doran. And Doran looks at Red, but when Doran heard wedding in the cave, he got all giddy because, you know, he's thinking, oh, this is going to be like the olden days with the weddings and the mountains. So Red turns to Doran thinking that Doran's going to have his back like in terms of fighting this thing and Doran's all blushing. But is just blushing a little bit. Yes, true. Bum blush.

So then Red shakes his head and looks towards Kralath instead. And Kralov looks a bit concerned. well. Ah, good. I got somebody. And then I take a half step towards Creel-up. Look, I'm all in for love.

I just want to make sure that this thing isn't going to eat. There's enough food for all the guests. I know exactly what you mean. Oh, Jesus. And I take a half step towards Jack, and I'm like, Jack, tell me that I'm not the only voice of reason here.

You must also think there might be a threat. There are all kinds of untold dangers in the under dark. Yeah, all right. Like unimaginably horrible things. All right. And green whistles, Bride to be might be one. Maybe.

Green Whistle looks up at you with these like saucer-shaped eyes. Like, Red, you don't seriously think that my beloved would mean us harm. Listen here, Green Whistle. If there's one thing true about me, it's that I don't think. It's true.

Not even once. And like my finger just stays there and there's this like empty gaze in Red's eye. And he doesn't continue. And he's like, all right, what's next? Breeze kind of blows through his whiskers. No, it blows through my ears and you hear like a hoo, like a hollow.

Like when you blow on an empty bottle. All right, let's get this wedding going. So, yeah, there's a little bit of housekeeping to be done. And green whistle's actually cleared up some of the glade, the forested glade where we've all been staying. Has he been, like, chewing it, like a goat? Has he been, like, bent over, like, just chomping it? He's cropped the grass.

He's just like, wow. There's so much grass here to eat. As you guys notice, like, you go back through your encampment maybe to put your belongings down or, you know, get ready for this manual labor you're going to be doing ostensibly. He's, like, tidied up your work benches. So, like, Doran's little forge station, you've got, like, your tongs, like, you know, nicely set out. And he's, like, dusted around the fireplace and just kind of tried to make the place look a little bit neater. He's put away everyone's laundry.

Somebody's moved my tools and dusted. What happened to the dust? That was my special dust. I like this dust. I like to know where things are. That's why I keep it dusty. So, yeah, how do you deal with this cave in? It's, like, pretty substantial.

Just a bunch of boulders all blocking this cave. So I know move Earth can't move boulders. Correct. But I'm wondering if we could dig holes in front of boulders to push the big things into, and so it's less overall movement, so we sort of dig a hole to try and... Or even, what about underneath them

and just let them fall down as, like, the dirt slides around? Yeah, that's kind of my same thing, like, angle of things, so they sort of fall in a controlled manner. Of course you can. And then if that doesn't work, I'm thinking, I'll take the decanter

of endless water while you move Earth and we'll double whammy it, like, with a fire hose. That's brilliant. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what I was thinking. So what a Kralath and Dorn doing as red is, like,

aiming this decanter of water. I love the image of red holding this decanter of water because like cats and water are kind of not great. And like, you shouting at it in the background. It goes flying by. Not remembering the like key word that you use. Doran's got to be the foreman of this whole opportunity though. He's the mind. Well, Doran steps up and he rolls up his sleeves and he puts a pot in his head. Starts climbing up onto the very top of the boulders. And he starts. He's the one with the chalk like, I know where to mark. the X. It's this rock. And then, you know, it's the way they pay them the big bucks. Now, we're going to need some dynamite, I think. Don't have any. Maybe even...

Not invented yet. Well, then we'll just have to get the chisel set. Would magic work? I got an idea. Yeah. And I hand the decanter of Endless Water to Kralath for a second. And I run off screen. I come back like five minutes later with a severed Umber Hulk claw. Because they they like cut through the stone, right? So they have to be sharp. And he's just like dragging this umber hulk fucking claw and he's like yeah here doran that is yeah really smart yeah and i and i'm like this should cut through stone doran are you able to fashion something out of it quickly like this oh like the uh lobster claws like grab a hold of the tendon inside yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah just sticks orc splitter into it ultimately i like i like what you guys have come up with

with using the the move dirt but isn't there also a heavy move a heavy object The object, I love that spell. Yeah, I could levitate things if we don't expect. It'd be like a very limited instance of, like, it's not a cantrip. I mean, I kind of like, I like the ideas that you guys had, and I think we should use those. And so maybe whatever Doran does here isn't very successful.

And let's say with the claw, he's able to lever one of the top bowlers off, and it starts to come tumbling down, like in a very, very aggressive way towards the three of you, maybe staying at the bottom of a pile. Ah! Oh, that's got to be the one that Jack catches and levitate and just lifts in the air. Yeah, good, good, good call.

And Doran looks back a little bit of a bum blush and he says, oh, I'm not really sure. I almost squashed you guys. I love that bum blush has become a thing. It's canon. It's a bum blush. Hashtag bum blush. Sorry, guys. Hashtag bum blush is got to be the next sticker.

It's like Rudolph's nose. It looks like those were the biggest boulders. It shouldn't be too much work for us to clear the rest out easily enough. We'll just take some time. Yeah, good luck, guys, and Red walks away towards the woods. Well, it's cool, Red, because as you head back towards the encampment towards this forested glade, you notice that there's a couple of newcomers. Some of the guests have arrived.

Acting as Usher, Red, like, runs over, and he's like, Hello, welcome to the wedding of Green Whistle, and how can I help you? Just is my confession. There's a couple of other satyrs that have arrived. There are four of them. They're standing all around. They're carrying various musical instruments and they've got colorful, like, backpacks on.

And they're sort of in the middle of unloading the contents from these backpacks out onto the ground, sort of close to where Krayalas cooking station is. And I'm like, I'm assuming you're with the groom's side. Oh, yeah. Hi. What's up? Not much. What's your name?

I'm Jack. It's so nice to be here. Oh, sorry. Swallowed a gnat there. This is Dragata, Loraine, and Hussilo. Red, you said? Yeah. I'm friends of green, friend of, I'm with green whistle.

I mean, where is he? It's been so long. Well, you know, he's getting ready, resting up, clearing the glade. And you look over and he's like bent over in a weird goat thing. Steven's next to him and the two of them. Yeah, the two of them were just chewing the grass. Green whistle, like, picks himself up and runs over. He's like, oh, friends, how are you?

It's so nice to see it. Do they greet each other like goats? Like, nah! It's a combination of, like, bro grabs where they run up and they just do, like, big hug. And then also, like, mah! Nice. Maybe even, like, some horn clashing, I think. Oh, my God, yes.

Absolutely, Alex. They run over to each other and do, like, a little bit of ramming, like, if each other's horns are playfully, aggression. Yeah, I picture there's like, there's like his university pal. He's like, you son of a bitch. Headcrack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got like a weird hand shake. You old so and so.

Finally getting the old hoof. We never thought anyone had linnail green whistle down. Free like the wind. Yeah, and then Red continues off towards the woods. And as he gets there, he calls B over. And he's like, B, I need your help with a super secret wedding project. Oh, a wedding project. Yeah, well, we're going to do an old tobacco seat.

And then the camera fades away. as he whispers into her. Yeah, they fade off into the distance. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. So over the course of the afternoon, more guests are arriving,

you know, every half hour, 45 minutes. So there's this like shy dryad who sort of melds in with whatever tree trunk is nearby. You only catch glimpses of him. He sort of spends some time just observing from the edges of the clearing. And then you can sort of see his form as he moves from tree to tree. He's like shrubble. like covered in needles, but he seems friendly. He's just, you know, sort of keeping to himself.

And then you see a wrinkly little figure with mossy green hair dressed in a garment Doran that looks strangely familiar to you. You realize this is El Morte Bono River, the forest gnome. Oh, the guy who led us across the river. I loved him. He's traded out his patchwork smock in favor of the cultist robe that you gave him. Oh, no. He's savagely hemmed the garment to fit his tiny stature, but he's looking really good.

He's like, oh, nice to see you again so soon. Oh, my friends. Absolutely incredible fortune that we're all here. Can you believe it? I was hoping I would see you. Here you are. Safe and sound. Doren returns all muddy from removing boulders with Kralath and Rob.

Crillard's a jack. Right, the wizard. Damn it. Maybe we are melding into the same person. Doran then would approach and give this gnome a big hug, you know. Come here, you little rascal, you. Come here, and he like squeezes him and makes his head almost pop, you know? Yeah, Elmore's like, oh, oh boy!

Now let me get cleaned up, and of course, after I've done hugging you, it's covered in mud. The gnome is now covered in mud. and other leaves and twigs. Oh, why do you come take a swim with me? It'll be, the water's fine. It'll be nice. We can scrub each other's backs. It'll be nice, sounded almost menacing.

And that's what Doran does, and without any shame, he drops down to the nude and jumps into the water again. Oh, yeah, okay. That sounds awesome. Let's do it. You never say no to a dwarf in the nude. Always want to bathe with a dwarf whenever you have the chance. And there's like this scene of Doran scrubbing the gnomes back.

with his beard. What is that thing called? A lufa? A lufa, yeah. But your beard is the lufa? His beard lufa. Oh, a little bit of blood on you. There's more blood on you.

Every time I wash you, there's... Dwarven culture is a trip, guys. Doren culture is a trip. Yeah, really, Doran. Jack, you recognize some creatures as they arrive. These are pixies. Yes, more fay creatures. What'd you do with our dust?

They're tiny. So they're not fairies, but they're, you know. Tinkerbell. Yeah, I would say like a little bigger than a tinkerbell. Probably like, I don't know, eight inches tall or so. A tinkerbell? Tinkerbell is a unit of measurement. That's right.

It's like one and, it's like two and a half tinkerbells. What does that half look like? and they make themselves comfortable. Kieran, we should go introduce ourselves to someone. Who do you want to go meet? Great question, boss. Do you see that dry ad? Yeah, I've never talked to a dryad.

We should go say hi. This is the perfect opportunity. There'll never be another one. As soon as, you know, the wedding kicks off, you know how hectic they get. We might never get a chance. Let me just get a journal and we'll be right over there. So cute. So you guys make your way over to make a new friend.

Absolutely. Two shy folks. I'm reminded of a high harvest tide when you and Naxine put your heads together and just talked wizardly shit all evening. Yeah. And then Red and B sort of come out of the woods after a few hours. They look a little bit like they've been working on a project and they sort of join the rest of the group. And as the afternoon wanes on and Green Whistle introduces everyone to the Saters and the Pixies and the Dryad, an appearance he lets you all know like I'm honored that you all come to my wedding here in the

high forest obviously it's a really magical place and I just I think that this is going to be an occasion for for all of us to remember for maybe the rest of our lives and you know saders like to party so let's fucking get down he just holds the most raucous fay bachelor party And that's when you see Dora and arrive with nicely combed back hair. He's looking the cleanest you've ever seen him. All right, party down tonight. Party down! The pixies do something really interesting.

They are starting to make a concoction for everyone. So they're hanging out by the hot springs, and they have these decanters of flower water that they put out in the darkness. As night comes on and moonlight starts streaming through, the canopy of Shadow Top Cathedral, they put these decanters of flower water in these shafts of moonlight. You watch as they drop a little something

into each decanter of water and the something that they drop in, this little particle starts jumping and fizzing inside the water, and the water turns a dark purple color. And then they pass it around to everybody. Yeah, and Red Lake walks up and takes the tray like it's shot. and starts handing it out, one for you and one for you and one for you.

Oh, we're going to party Mazdikan style. Oh, boy. And he holds it up high. It takes a shot back. And that's when I imagine music breaks into, oh, yeah, the fact. Absolutely. All the Seder bring their instruments out and they're playing music long into the night. They're eating ravenously, kind of like, you know, pigishly almost.

It's like crumbs of honeyed cake are fly. everywhere. They've brought these huge flasks, not flasks, these wine skins. They brought these huge wine skins full of this delicious ruby red wine. They like drink greedily from and then pass around. Elmore gets drunk with the satyrs. After one sip. So who is drinking this wine? Oh, I take a shot. I take a shot. Doran's in there like a dirty shirt. Oh, it's interesting I think Doran. One of the pixies, as she's about to hand you a little flask, she sort of looks at you and she's like, dwarfs usually don't like this. Really? Well, let me try it. And then Doran takes a big swig. Can you go for it?

I feel like Red's standing right next to Red and Doran. And I hold it up and I'm like, Tame awesome boys! And I cheers you as we both down it. Yeah. Shucks. Like our wooden cups. Yeah, yeah. It's subtle in flavor. It's like very florins. You know, this is something that elves would fucking dig. But, you know, it's no, like, heavy alcohol. However, the moment that this fluid passes down your throat and into your body,

you just feel silly. Induces this frivolous behavior. And for the next couple of hours, you guys are inclined to do just silly stuff. Just whatever is, like, super silly. why this is just flavorless little pet it's not it's not it's not it's not really tasty at all

in fact it's kind of got no taste to it I need something a little stronger and he reaches already pokes Red's belly you know he says I need something a little stronger in my belly I don't know about you but I

I need something at my belly a little bit stronger than you're kind of yours and Red sees Doran just like acting a fool, and then he looks down at his empty cup and goes, I don't think mine's wacky. Oh, there's more. It's just kind of a social lubricant.

I'll take another one. You do another shot of Faywine. Doran does get up on the table and he starts to dance and sing in an outrageous sort of fun lovingness and, you know, wrapping his arms around every Seder and Fay creature in the room. And Red gets up on the table too. Let's dance, Doren! And Red and Doran start dancing around on the table.

I'm really enjoying this very much. But have you got any meat? Because I like the taste of that better. Kralath, what are you doing this whole time? I think that Kralath is just sitting back. And he's sitting down next to, he's sitting down on a tree. Are you undead? Are you undead?

You undead? No, okay. What are you? You undead? You look kind of weird. You undead? No, he's not worried at all. He's got this, you know, very blissful, almost motherly.

look on his face as he sits on a big tree root and he's just watching as the pixies float above the tables dancing and giggling between the bows and he sees dorin and red on the table doing a jig with elmort and green whistle and he sees the other satires playing on the stage and some people splashing in the water and he just smiles to himself and to the scene before him and just savors it, just lets it all soak in because it's, sometimes he doesn't see this vivid,

these vivid colors. Yeah. I love it. I want everyone to make a wisdom safe. Uh-oh. That's right. We're rolling dice tonight. Oh, yeah.

Well, I got a one. Hey, hey! Four. Oh. I got a 18. All right. So it is, just as you are observing the goings on, Kralath, with this motherly love, this care and attention and appreciation for the celebration of life and love and bringing together of people in this holy place, just kind of a wholesome night that you see a fucking badger walk by. A badger.

Yep. And then hot on its tail, a tortoise. Yeah. Jack, this badger is you. Okay. Doran, this tortoise is you. You've both been polymorphed by a devil-may-care pixie who's interested in making things just a little bit more ridiculous tonight. So Doran, you are, you just, you one moment are dancing on the table with some Sater's and now?

I feel like Red looks over and he's like, ah, darn, darn, looks away and then looks back and he's just gone. and there's like a mist of magic. And I'm like, Doran, where'd you go? There's a tortoise with a beard. Oh, well, hello, turtle friend. And I bend down and I'm like, you have a nice little beard. And I go to, like, tickle his face. I'm feeling awfully small and slow.

Doren, I think you got turned into a turtle. And I pick him up and I lift him high above my head. What? Turtle, Doran! And there's like a cheer across the crowd. And I start pouring beer into the turtle's mouth. Jack, one moment you are maybe observing the lights and the way that the constellations are just barely visible through the shadow top trees here. And then the next moment you have a fucking fairy just flies by your face.

And then you are a badger. You suddenly have a taste for grubs. There's definitely a moment of like, fucking what just happened? Okay. I get it. Polymorph. I tried to do this a minute ago. I get what's happening to me. Nobody's going to be mad if I start digging, because I'm a badger.

I don't know any better. I can know what shadow top roots look like now. I'm going to go figure out where they go and just start digging a hole under a tree and figure out how all the roots work. Even as a badger, he's a nerd. You know the guy at a party who's like, but what are the ingredients of this alcohol I'm imbibing reading the fucking label? Honestly, I was really trying to figure out how much moonlight was an important ingredient to Faywine and how that, like, that's, there were some notes on that.

I mean, you probably spoke with one of the pixies who is making, and they're, like, telling you about how it's a raisin from the fay wild that they dropped into the decanter of water, and then all of a sudden she's like, oh, and by the way, Badger. Fair. All right. That's what I get. I'm imagining you said that entire spiel, though, about seeing the roots out loud. Oh, for sure.

I don't know if you're a little drunk or something, but you're just like, you're a badger, and then Kralov's looking at you kind of funny, and then all of a sudden you start talking. And he's like, ah, okay, it's Jack. It's just a badger in a jaunty cap. And then Krayalath Red runs up to you holding a turtle. And he's like swings like,

Tadledoran! And he turns around and starts running around again. And again, the crowd just cheers. You just see Red's hand held up high between the people and a turtle between. And the turtle's just like kicking wildly. I need some lettuce. And I get Turtle Doran lettuce. So after a little while.

while as Turtle Doran is like eating a piece of lettuce, the crowd is like getting at its climax and rowdy and Red turns to Oren and I'm like, Oren, pull! And you see Red standing on top of a table and Oren has these like handfuls of these little clay jars. Okay. And he chucks one of them up and you see Red sort of take aim with his bow and he fires. And I'm going to cast fairy fire. And what happens as I smash this little clay pot filled with sand is every little grand. piece of sand gets immediately endued with this red fairy fire and like a firework

gets set off over everybody in the woods and everyone's exactly like that they're like ooh and I'm like again and he throws another one and I cast it in like blue and then green and there's like these little like pops of fireworks in the middle of the forest. That's worth inspiration. I love that.

So red and orange goes skeet shooting which becomes fireworks magically nice. Plus, if we need it, we also have advantage against the sand. Thanks again to our great old one Patreon supporters, Christopher Ryan Evans and Mitchell Cardwell, as well as our shamers, Doug Churchman, Colin Burkart, and Merlin. You make all of this possible. See you around the table.

Who did the weenie clap? Who did it? I heard a weenie clap. Uh-oh. Might have been me. It was like a, it was like this. Me, I did it. I'm a weenie.

Oh. I own my weeniness. Nothing is less satisfying than a weenie clap. Unless you're clapping a weenie. Thank you very much. Thank you.