Dice Shame - 64 | 'Toasted'

Episode Date: December 31, 2020

There is cause for celebration in the air as the Party attends an unusual event... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!?   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As long as they don't scream out, we should be good. There's just a lot of death under our feet. Honestly, I've never been to a Seder wedding, let alone a Sater wedding to a disembodied voice that lives underground. I got far too silly. Let's find Red Love. He's next. What other evils might have seeped into the party. This is awesome. Have you guys been to the forgotten realms? It's so cool. So Doran tinks his glass.

Oh no. As a toast? Oh, boy. A toast. Oh, no. Oh, no. This is going to be fucked up. This might have been a bad idea. Welcome back to Dice Shame, episode 64, toasted. MVP this week is James Schwartz.

James is someone who's become really close to us over the past year. Not only is he a fan of Dice Shame and contributes the voice of Steve and the Goat this episode, he's also joined the Invictus stream as a guest cast member. James is GM of the Dimension Door podcast and he's just a really great person so this MVP is for you buddy MVP. We love you buddy well 2020 is just about over

it's been a whirlwind of a year some terrible things some really exciting things we've been so lucky to have all of you along with us some from the very beginning we just want to say a heartfelt thank you and to wish you the very best for 2021 let's not pretend it will solve all of our problems but I do think we should use 2021 to learn from the mistakes of this year.

Stay safe, wear a mask, practice empathy, and enjoy your time. Life is short. All right, what do you say? Shall we attend a wedding? Hell yeah. Let's do it. It's the big day, guys. It's the Green Whistles' Wedding Day.

You guys had kind of a rough night last night. There was some imbibing. There was some polymorphing. Yes. There was some skeet shooting. I mean, you haven't had a nice sleep until you've slept in a badger dent in the roots of a shadow top tree. Let me tell you. But the thing is, the thing is, the thing is, the jack fucking turns back into a human being.

And I was to like scoot out backwards. Oh, come on. He molds Earth and he's got no problem. Of course he does. And I'm going to say Doran, as a turtle, climbed into the pond and has now woken up in the reeds. Oh, no. Doreen waking up sleeping on his back floating across the fire. A little dwarfing hands are wrinkly from how

sopping what you are. Wow. The fay wine has no ill effects. That fay wine. I think you're mistaking the effects of the many, many, many tankards of mead that you drank. I can't believe that I drank that fay wine. I got far too silly. I don't ever get that silly.

I don't think it was the fainters. A-wine, because Red's doing just fine. Hey, buddies, good morning! I think it might have been the mead and... Oh, I feel fine. The ale. I'm more embarrassed, Kraylon. Oh, I see, got it.

I woke up in the reeds. Look at the, look at my puddle body, puddle shape. Look at my puddle body. Your butt's blushing, Doran. Well, I made some coffee. It's a wedding day. It's a wedding day. It's a wedding day.

It's a wedding day. It's a wedding day. Red's just like jumping around singing. Red, you're excited. Oh, so excited. I've never been to a wedding. Oh, no. And, like, I'm badgering Jack.

I picture Jack's, like, packing up his... He's, like, packing up something. And I'm like, and then at weddings, do you also get to sing? And also, are the songs good? And also do the songs go out really long? Also, do they sound like this? It's a wedding. It's a wedding.

Also do they... And you're just like, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh. Honestly, I've never been to a Seder wedding, let alone a Sater wedding to a disembodied voice that lives underground. So I don't know what's standard. Cool. Everything we're seeing here is setting the standard for every future Seder disembodied voice from the Underdark Wedding. That's clever.

Well, B and I did a little Tabaxi thing for them because we don't get married in Mazdekin culture, but we do have ceremonies where they call them birthday. You know, it's not worth getting into. But we did make a little something. I wonder if we should give it to him now or at the wedding. What do you think? Will he need to see it? Yes. Maybe in the sunlight.

Right. Okay. Why don't you get the others, and I'll get Greenwistle. It's a bit of a thing. I'd like to present it to him properly. Sure. Thanks, bud. Maybe right before we all go underground, right at the...

Good thinking. At the tunnel there. I'll meet them there. Bay! And Red walks off to find B. Green Whistle is wearing a little brown waistcoat that you hadn't seen him in since you'd met him. He's always just kind of like in the buff, you know, sater, being a sater. Looking sharp.

up green whistle. Oh, thank you. This is a very special day. He's decked out in fall flowers and indeed fairies and pixies are making the rounds, distributing marigolds and violets and wreaths of autumn flowers, mosses, leaves, berries. Oh, thank you. Everyone is getting a little bit autumnal and festive. Yeah, I mean, I'm imagining just like our horses the other day with the fairies. Yeah. Green whistle must be Like the royal treatment. He certainly has, yeah, his curly hair. Even down into his like chest hair that's poking up out of the top of his waistcoat is like twined with little berries and little tiny flowers. Just a little snack if he gets hungry during the ceremony.

Ritches down just kind of nibbles. And with that, everyone troops down to the mouth of the cave system. And you see Red and Bee carrying. something. It's pretty large, and it's sort of draped in one of Kraloth's blankets. It's like a corpse blanket. It's like a body jacket. Oh no. That's what it's used for, but it's clean. We walk over near the entrance and towards Green Whistle, and Red's like, Green Whistle, Green Whistle, Green Whistle. B and I aren't from here. We've never been to a wedding, but where we come from, there's something called a Torch Mead, and it's something that when you are going to decide, about your quest in life. It's something that the elders use to sort of say that they're watching

over you, to let you know that your path is accepted, that they want you to do it. So, B, and I thought we'd put our heads together and bring a little Mazdican culture to you. And he reveals this sort of arch. It's almost like, it's almost like, it's like a wedding arch, like a hoopa. And it's all ornately carved. Be having taking the lessons from Red in guild artisanry of of being a Fletcher, obviously Red, for all of his zany unintelligentness, is a very skilled artisan when it comes to

carving and crafting. And you see this intricately carved archway. It's got all these like berries and little leaves. And then at the top five images. One of Doran, one of Kralath, one of Jack, one of red

and one of B. All like carved, like looking down as if they're looking down on those who stand beneath it in like an accepting way. Almost like they're like but it's like really comical benevolent. Yeah for sure and like Red's in the middle he's like standing there like

the biggest figure and peace like that poster in Ghostbusters like the end of Ghostbusters yes they're all like looking down like it's like real sweet but also like oh man what the heck and Red's like anyway we wanted you to have this and if you wanted to

you could use it in your ceremony in some way it's just a little gift from the other side of a pond. Green Whistle looks up at you with eyes that are filling with tears and he's like, red, you have no idea. Not only did you come here into this glade and help me reunite with the person that I will marry today, but you give me something so elegant and meaningful and he grabs you around the waist and squeezes you in a big hug.

Oh, well, thank you. It's from all of us, of course. Everyone added a little bit of their own characteristics, and you see, like, Doran's, like, carving is, like, gorgeous. He's, like, got flowing hair and, like. He looks kind of godlike. Yeah, and, like, same with Kralath. He looks, like, godlike.

Like, it's real Renaissance-esque with the chests, like, pushed out. Yes, Ruben-esque. Yeah. I love it. And Jack is there. There. And Jack looks exactly like Jack does. But don't worry, Jack's unashamedly also got his notebook out trying to make sure he's written every detail down about Mastikin ceremonies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and I nudge Jack even, I'm like, I noticed I didn't change you, because you're perfect the way you are, friend. Red, this was really, really thoughtful. Wow. Wow. And Doren kind of comes up and says, I'm really impressed. And Doren offers a handshake to you and be. Oh, very interesting.

Very interesting. Don't, and you've never shaken my hand. Cool. The Saders take up position at the head of this procession, and they begin leading the groom, playing their instruments, and dancing. It's parade-like, but not in, like, a jokey way. Like New Orleans.

It's joyful. Yeah, absolutely. And everyone's, like, encouraged to join in. Orrin gets right into it. actually been practicing these songs with them last night, so he's adding the sounds of his mandolin to this procession. And as you enter this echo cave, the thing that drew green whistle to his love to begin with, the sounds just reverberate and bounce off of the ceiling of this cavern filled with stalactites. The sound is just amazing, resonant. Imagine we find

out he's just been hearing his echo the entire time. He's just fallen in love with himself. Suffering from a really spectacular mental breakdown. I'm curious what the entrance of this cave now looks like that we've moved a lot of the boulders. Kralath spent a lot of extra time sweeping it and making it all clean and pristine. But not like nice or pretty.

There's nothing or innate or beautiful about it, but it's clean. It's impeccably. It's tidy. You don't have dancing lights either of you, do you? I've got regular light. No, but I am imagining Jack has this minor illusion he's bringing with him that that is just the like sounds of the forest

so that even underground the wind through the trees and little bird calls and things are coming with the procession. Cool. So cute. That is nice. So the procession enters this cave system. Roll for initiative. Yeah, roll for a surprise attack.

Everyone enters this cave system and the ambient light from the forest outside streams in through. through this initial echoy cave. As you pass through into the cave with the stalactites, just like a still a glow of daylight just on your backs, revealing the scene in front of you. Amongst the stalagmites, six figures stand motionless,

watching, waiting for your approach. There are a variety of heights, between four and seven feet tall, and by the look of the structure of their bodies, top-heavy and pockmarked, they seem to be mushroom people, some of them sport wide-brimmed caps fringed with gills others are bulbous or sprouting an extra limb here or there with tears of colorful growths and sporulating vents the largest of these a luminous pink creature so exuding its own light with a tall crown of phosphorescent protuberances raises an arm ending in three claw-like fingers and weights amid all of this

A five-foot-tall, pale-orange creature. Its form is bipedal, and with two slender arms, its flesh striated and textured. An oval, darker orange cap sits on its head, ringed with a frill of dark-brown gills. This mushroom creature is cloaked in a cloudy gossamer veil of some kind of mysterious organic lace, and its deep black eyes sit on a cloud of spots and freckles. It shivers. and a cloud of golden spores drifts down out of its gills, expanding to engulf all of you. You hear a voice in your head, lovely as a bell. Peace, and be welcome to the grove. My name is Morella.

Who among you is Green Whistle? And then Green Whistle goes to her on unsteady hooves. He sort of tottles across the cavern floor. He's flushed, this blue, soft light shining around them. My love. And then they embrace each other. I think Jack's crying a little bit.

Yeah. I picture us almost like groomsmen, you know, kind of going in and standing next. We kind of each pick a mushroom person and sort of stand next to them. And then like Doring gives like a nod to this mushroom person. And I lean over to mine and I say, we eat you an omelets. You seem like a fun guy. I knew I can count on you, Alex. Woo, everything.

It's Doran. I bet they've never heard that one. Yeah, I got right. The dryad who's been kind of nervously following the procession, you know, with the absence of trees, not being able to kind of hide in and amongst the brush now that's form fully revealed, this like juniper-looking type creature sort of rolls forward and presents a wet. present to the couple, a pair of delicate-looking wooden crowns. And Morella, this myconid creature, and Green Whistled, the Seder, both put them on their heads. I think Duran lets out a little clap at night. And then the Sater's like look around at you and everyone starts clapping.

To me clap. We're clapping, right? Yeah, I guess so. The mushroom, the myconid, I'll just kind of like shudder and like bobble up and down a little bit in excitement. And you all travel with the Myconid's suggestion. They sort of start moving towards this exit from the stalactite cavern to the north, a place you had not yet traveled. Yes.

Into the grove. The grove. The grove. Red's walking beside his mushroom, and he's like trying to wrap arms around it, but he can't quite get with the arm. So he just like kind of puts his arm on its head, like kind of leaning on. on it, but not leaving on it. Yeah, it's like a shorter mushroom.

Yeah. I like your spores. Isn't that like telling someone you like their sperm? Awesome. Sure. I mean, I like your sperm. If it glowed and sparkled and drifted in the air around you, that might be an appropriate thing to say.

I like your spores. Yeah. Are you sporing on me right now? I mean, I like your flowers. A very appropriate thing to say to flowers. Right. Yes, true. Yeah, we didn't say I like your pollen.

I like your pollen. I really like your pistula. Hey, nice stamen. I'm a fan of your pistula. Nice organs. Okay. The vastness of this cavern would be difficult to assess were a knot for phosphorescence. Luminous blue stalks of fungi, growing in tall clusters, punctuate the cave.

Streaks of some glowing pale pink and green run diagonally along the distant walls. And stalactites flecked with glittering crystalline mineral deposits further throw the phosphorescence around, like granite disco balls. You are atop a broad ledge looking down over several terraced levels down into a central basin and water runs through irrigation sluces down into a pool below.

You hear the trickling of water in your ears. Mushrooms grow up everywhere here, all a million different varieties, sizes, patterns, like a riot of well-cared-for wildflowers. And footpaths run through the mushrooms allowing movement without damaging the growing fungus. Subterranean creepers hang from the ceiling and strange blue flowers pulse and glow all around you,

opening and closing their blooms as you move nearby. Pst, Krayloff. Yeah. Are these the ones we eat? I don't know, but I'm going to grab a few anyway. No, don't touch it. I think these might be their babies. Oh, shoot.

I just wanted to make sure that we weren't eating the ones. Oh, oh, oh, okay. Are there any here that you recognize that we eat? I'm going to keep my eyes open. Red, B's face turns up to you in this glow of subterranean light, and she's like, Dad, this is amazing. I've never seen anything like it before. Me neither.

It's so cool. Wow. Chicks. Dorn and Jack just turn to each other. Wow. Yeah. Wow. The smartest and the dumbest at the same side.

Listen, sometimes beauty just strikes to the heart of something and all you can say is wow. There you go. Oh, but they're saying wow at different things. I think that Jack's saying wow at like the majesty of the cavern and... Doran's looking at a rock that he sees. Doran's on his phone. Wow. I'm super curious, Doran.

Just before we move on into what happens next, like you are the only person in this group among all of the PCs and NPCs that we're hanging out with who's actually had a wedding before. So what is rushing through your mind right now? How are you feeling? Doran is not even thinking about his own wedding. Really? He's too selfless. Not at this point anyways.

I mean, perhaps maybe when he's got a moment in the quietness of the ceremony, he might think about Kremlin's wife and the ceremony that they had. which was barbaric in comparison. You must have loved it. Sacrifice. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a Vegas wedding, a never winter wedding.

It was a goblin equivalent of a Vegas wedding. It was like a bunch of goblins. You know, they'd bring out like a cow halfway through and they would just be biting out of the living creature. You know, it's like very, very vulgar in comparison, you know? Wow. Definitely a different field. Yeah.

But actually, what's going through Doran's mind, when he said, wow, was more like, I've never seen so many beautiful, luminescent mushrooms and fungi and hanging plants in one place. I mean, I grew up. And this is the point where I think Doran would then turn to Jack, who is obviously struck by something at the same time. It's just beautiful here. I mean, I grew up in caves. and I'm used to the dark dampness and I think that in itself is beautiful but look at these glowing glowing plants

like nothing else in the world this grove Doran it is unique and special and look at the gems up there and Doran starts to pick out little pieces where you know the luminousin flowers and fungi are creating enough light to bounce off the gems and the gold and the silver and the ore

that are kind of embedded in the wood walls of this cavern. There are riches in here. Lute. Riches that can't compare it to the gems and the gold and the in the walls. You're right, Doreen. There are riches here. Just can you imagine having the faith and the kind of love where sight unseen you could walk down here and be ready to commit to someone whose voice you've only ever heard in your head to be that certain that that was the path you wanted to be on for the rest of your life? And that's when it hits door. because Doran then looks at Rob

and fuck because Doran then looks like because Doran then looks at Jack sorry Jack can you sit back a second I'm talking to Rob I'm sorry I'll get him he's over there I feel really close to you Rob's just staying in the corner

Hi guys Rob's here too eating a fucking corn dog because This is awesome Have you guys been to the forgotten realms It's so cool Yeah

wearing his salmon sweater Why he knows so much about D&Ds Because he's there. Can we make this canon? Canonically, Rob is just there. And this is the point where Doring you into an NBC starts to think about his own wedding. And he turns to Jack and he says, I told you about my marriage to the goblin woman, didn't I? What?

And you are gathered here before us to. Let's go. It starts right then. Stop talking. Because I... Guys, shh! Oh, gosh, I think it's static. So you descend into the central basin of this vast cavern.

The cave floor of the basin is soft and springy composed of layer upon rich layer of dark earth moistened with spring water from the pool. And the water carries moats of something that fluoresces apple green within it and kind of just like reverberates with the current of water. The mushroom folk gather all around you. There's maybe 30 of them here. now and green whistle's guests intermingle here and there between the myconid everyone's got this happy jubilant just in awe of this place expression on their face the largest myconid this seven-foot

giant the luminous pink creature that greeted you in the stalactite forest addresses everyone telepathically its voice surprising considering its mass welcome outsiders to the groves Like Dora, just burst out laughing. Oh, Kralov! And I, like, pull Kralath aside, and we run outside and bring in the Torkmead and bring it into, like, the wedding procession and put it around the two of the rain. Just so you can get married under this. Hi, you're beautiful. We're making it happen.

It has been a very long time since we hosted Meatfolk in our midst. And never for an occasion such as this, little Morella has decided to offer Meld with the creature, known as Green Whistle, and the colony approves of her choice. Morella. Green Whistle, by undertaking this Meld, you vow to honor the ways of the Mekonid, ways that may be strange to you at first. Myconid honor the rocks and plants which sustain us. Deliver our bodies to the water when we die. We commune with each other for the colonies, our life. We never willfully cause pain, even if we are in danger.

These ways must become your ways. Do you understand? And he nods. Morella has novel ideas surrounding partnership for The Myconin do not fall in love. or make a pair above the community. However, we are happy for your melding and accept you here into the grove.

May your union be a happy one. Yay! Congratulations, guys! And then all of the Myconid sporulate simultaneously shooting up this like different colored clouds of spores into the air. And they kind of like jutter up and down. So Greenwistle and

Morella standing underneath this Torqumead with wooden crowns adorning their head, turned to each other. And Green Whistle says hearing your song in my head changed me forever. I'm yours Morella. And then they embrace.

He says, my conid may not usually perform marriages, but the folk I have brought with me to celebrate our union have plenty of experience with this concept. It's one of the most wonderful things we can do in our whole lives up on the surface.

So thank you to all my friends who have joined me here in this incredible place. Now let's show these people how to party. Yeah, baby! All right. Again. And I nudge Dorn, and I give them a little flask of some of the pixie wine that I asked them to

make in the morning. I'm like, let's get silly, buddy. Team awesome boys! Who'd you give that to? You! Me? Oh, I thought you were saying to the groom. Team awesome boys!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Green Whistle's sater friends strike up some festive music, and the fairies take off laughing into the upper recesses of the cave, enchanting the cobwebs there into spangled strings of starlight and filling the air with a warm, muted, glow. Oh, nice. And the party starts. The myconid seem like a little bit out of place at first, but they get to mingling

with you guys and you're all able to talk telepathically with each other. There's music aplenty. Stephen comes walking out of a bushel of mushrooms. Come on, Stephen. Show these myconids how it's done! Ah! Immediately he starts to eat one of them. Oh, no.

Just eating. Stephen's smart. They're melding a little bit themselves. And he's watering them. them too. Good job, Stephen. Oh, no. I feel like Jack would probably use this

word that I posted in there. I was looking for a good way to make a bad joke. A saprofite. So if you could use that word somewhere. A good way to make a bad joke. That's the Doran story. If you could figure somewhere to use that in the sentence, then I can have a nice,

funny quip of some sort. Get them set up. Wow. Yeah. Doreen kind of turns to Jack. after drinking the pixie wine, and he says, This stuff, sir, makes me feel silly. I don't really, I don't really know how to, I want to dance. Would you, would you dance with me, Jack?

Sure, yeah, let's dance over by those mushrooms for a minute. I'm just trying to, have you ever wondered whether they're, some of them are saprophites, they eat dead things. Saprophytes. Ha, ha, ha. Hey, hey, green whistle. Are you going to, ha, are you going to, ha, are you going to. a sapra fuck tonight

so bad so bad I was looking for something that was your setup you needed maybe I'll use it later don't don't put that in there there was a practice right I like Jack and Doran doing a jig together though that's very good

I think that Kralov walks over to the two of them he's kind of feeling out of place here that you know he's been to a lot of funerals but not so much the obvious So he's just kind of like looking around like, this is pretty cool and just kind of standing awkwardly next to the dad's floor. Kralath, you take a casual step forward and then you hear... Excuse me. And you look down to see a soft-looking sphere that twists its head up at you to reveal two beady black eyes that blink at you.

Please watch where you're going. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm Kralath. I'm here for the wedding, obviously. Lee, what's your name? I'm smungus. Smongus. I'm also here. I mean, I live here, but I'm here for the wedding, too.

Oh, well, are you related to Morella somehow? Well, we're all kind of part of the same meld, but I don't, I'm happy for her. You know, it's kind of weird, but I'm into it. I don't like all this extra light in the cavern, but I heard there's some good leaf rot going to come out later for us to ingest. Well, it sounds like very interesting. cuisine. Say, actually, speaking of cuisine, I do actually have a question for you, if you don't mind, uh, yeah, I'm asking

Sprungus and I know maybe it's, and Kralov gets down on one knee and he like stretches his weird body up to you to kind of form like a strange, soft cornered pyramid. Yeah, yeah. So I have a confession to make

um, I, I have I don't know how to say this, but I've eaten mushroom. I mean, I just going to say that. Is this, I just need to know, I'm sorry if I'm, tell me if I'm stepping out of line here, but mushrooms to meet folk, as you call us, are delicacy. Now, I'm not saying I want to eat anybody here, but I am. Smongas kind of farts out like a couple of orange spores. Did any of those mushrooms ever talk to you? No, no, they never did, but I didn't

really give them a chance. Well, and I think you're probably good. Okay, oh, good. Good to know. That was bothering me the whole ceremony. That's a big help, Sprungus. Thank you. Thank you very much. Where are any of those mushrooms screaming, stop, please? I feel like Red walks over to Kralath at the end of this conversation. Like, hey, buddy, how's it going?

Oh, hey, little mushroom bud? Hey, hey, did you tell them that we eat them? Well, I just did. And thankfully, as long as they don't scream out, we should be good. Hey, cool. That's a good rule of thumb for everything. Say, Kralath, you're doing okay, bud? You seem a little bit out of place.

Yeah, I just feel like this isn't a side of reality that I get to see too often. You know, I thought about that, and I was talking to that mushroom over there named Cormick, and you know what's cool about mushrooms? Huh. All of these mushrooms are growing on dead things, other dead mushrooms, and I thought, you know who would like dead things? Crayloth. So really, even though it seems real happy and joyful, there's just a lot of death under our feet. It's barose as fuck, just like you. I'm like you.

Dead. Yeah, I'm like pointing at all these dead things. Like, that's dead and that's dead. And that guy over there is probably dead too. Yeah. Thanks, Red. Yeah. Oh, Red. Doran, let's dance over to Morella and Greenwistle for a second.

I've got something I want to give him. I love that idea. Okay. And, like, Doran's still, like, just being silly from this freaking wine. I hate silly. Doran, but it is what it is. You don't have to, I mean, the effects can last as long as you want.

Yeah, they're lasting this long. I hate that. Does he say that? He's like, dancing. He's like, I hate Silly Doran. Silly Doran is pretty into disco dancing. Yeah, so, I mean, Green Whistle and Morella are dancing together to the music. She's got

this, like, kind of sultry swaying thing going on, like shoegaze kind of situation. Yeah. And when there's an appropriate break between songs or something, excuse me, Morella, Green Whistle, I've been carrying this for a little bit and I think it belongs with you. I know Green Whistle, it sounds like there's going to be some changes and you're going to be a little further underground away from some of the trees. And Morella, I don't know if you've ever been up by them. But just, I've got this lovely carved leaf inlaid with gold that I picked up at dawn glow, they call it now.

And it's the symbol of Sylvannis, the oak father, this, you know, a very nature grounded symbol. And I think sort of the roots of the trees and the leaves really sort of the two of you couldn't represent that more. So maybe I want you to have this. And it's this lovely leaf inlaid with gold that we... That's gorgeous. Pick that beautiful. Green whistle accepts it into his hands with reverence. Oh, thank you, Jack.

This is beautiful. I can't. Wow. And Morales, like, thank you, Jack. You two are so inspiring. I wish you all the best. Thanks for letting us be a part of this. She nods the cap of her head at you slowly. Have anything to say, Doran? No, nothing here. Oh, silly, Doran. Doran starts to dance off, doing jazz hands. He started to start. jiving it up next to this big toadstool. I've got fungus synonyms. I was just wondering if you had the fungi. Mushroom, toadstool, mold, mildew, rust, rot, decay,

mechallium, saprophite. Mycelium. And I feel like as you walk over, bread just like sits up from a bunch of mushrooms. You're just like, hey, these things are comfy as all heck, darn. Hey, have some more wine with me. And he, like, takes another shot and lies back down. The party rages for a couple of hours.

Everyone has a good time. Orrin has been playing with the Sater's band the whole time with his mandolin. He's got violets all woven into his hair. He's clearly like really feeling this vibe. And you notice that like at certain points during the ceremony and the celebration. Like he's like crying a little bit. Like this is really important, really meaningful time. And he's like a sentimental kind of guy.

Orin. Are you okay, bud? and Red walks over. Oh, Master Red. Yeah, I'm all right. Do you want to talk about it? Just a little bit emotional? Oh, it's just so beautiful, you know.

Just being here and a place I've never been before with everyone having such a good time. You're having a good time too, but look at all these people dancing. You got B-O-there, you got me over there, you got Cray-Loth over there. I'm just so grateful that you took me with you from Golden Fields. And here we are now experiencing this adventure. together. It's wild. It's hard to believe you've been with us since Goldenfield. Go away, darling.

He dances in and out of frame. We're the lucky ones. Orrin, we just happened upon you and, you know, we're so happy you're part of the family. We liked out. We really did. Well, thank you. Where are you coming from? Everyone's coming out. It's a wedding. Everybody's like, everybody's like moving around. We really did, Orr. Yeah, you're like waltz in the frame. Jack and Kieran sees the three of you. We walk over just to be like,

I kind of feel like with all these spores happening all around you, which I should note have to happen every 30 minutes or so or else you lose the telepathic connection. True. You guys have never really been experiencing this level of kind of fumigation of telepathy and the fact that these are all this totally alien species from you and considering their chemistry, it's a little bit hallucinogenic

and you're not like tripping balls or anything but like the colors are sharper and brighter and the music just is sort of pervading your brain in a specific way that it's a little psychedelic and as the night goes on is it possible that like

the things we say out loud and things we say in our head and the things we don't mean to say in our head sort of begins to blur I love that and to that effect when you're speaking with Orin you hear something in your head that is like a remnant of a resonation of a thought from him,

which is just like, I'm so glad I met her. And Red just like, yeah, me too, she's cool. And he looks towards Morella, the big mushroom. And he's like, yeah. His pupils are a little bit dilated. And he starts just playing a little bit softer on the mandolin and takes like a couple steps back from you and is just like looking up at the ceiling of like phosphorescent stars.

So at some point, Throughout the ceremony, I mean, Wilson is like, there should be food. Like, where is, what the fuck? And the mushroom people, the myconid folk, they all kind of crowd around the banks of this pond. And you hear kind of like a mulching like noom, loom, loom, loom, noom, noom noise. And like the base of their stocks and their feet kind of just, they like shuffle them in amongst the loam of this soil where there's kind of, leaf and compost like raked in almost along the banks of this pond and they eat they're like enjoying a weird meal and red drunk off his mind is like sitting on the beach next to them taking off

his wrappings and he's like all right if this is what we're doing he like walks into the water and he's standing there like i'm not getting as much food as them doran maybe it's because we're downstream i think they're hogging it watching the micotids do this Krayloth turns and looks to Oren, who is also looking at this. It just gauges his reaction. Orrin turns to you and he's like, Master Kralov, um, it's not a party without food. I got you covered. And Krayloth casts create food and water.

And one thing that we didn't really talk about, the food is supposed to be bland and just nourishing. Fuck that. Fuck that's bullshit. Okay, all right, good. So Krayloth casts it and he brings about all sorts of food that fits. it's within 65 pounds. He's got, give me some favorite wedding.

You know what you can get a lot of for 60 pounds? Ham. Light fucking pastries. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking of like how many beautiful Danishes you can make that 65 pounds.

Tower of croissants. Yeah. Or those little macarons? A carving station? Can you have a carving station with a dude? Of course you can. Who's like,

why am I here? It's just like carving a roast beef. Yeah. Yeah, Krayloth, Krayloth does it. And then at the end of the spell, he shapes his hand and he winks at Oren. And he begins spinning this cake out of thin air. Oh. And at the very top, he doesn't have anything to put on top.

And he looks around desperately for a, what is it called? Cake topper. What is it called? The thing that's at the top of the cake? A tomb tapper. No. Jack runs away from the tomb tapper on the cake. And he looks, he just, his eyes land on Doran to find something to put on the top of this cake. Should I put something on the top of this?

What did you have on the top of your cake, Doran, when you got married? Teeth. It's not, it's not the same thing. Jack, do you have any better suggestions? Here, I got this, and I take it a jade flower from the bag of holding. Oh, I was about to say, yeah, I was about to say something very similar. Well, I have a jade flower that we picked up. I don't know where, but, and I go and I put it on the top of the cake, and I stick it right in.

Green with. Or, or, you can always cut in. Alternate. Where is it? Alternative. Twist. I'll do entire cut. Twist ending to the cake decorating fiasco.

Directors cut you. Or this, saffron. Dead chicken. And Doran pulls out the adamantine crest. of the four of us. That would be our wedding. Or the broken wooden necklace order. So I got a third pitch for you.

Jack snaps his fingers and a picture of Morella and Greenwistle dancing happens on top of the house. And from their footsteps falling down the sides of it are these lovely growing blanches. Nope, jade flower. Jade flower. Fine.

I love it. I can do that too. It's like a shittier version. Krayloff. Crayloff. Spendover. Thanks, Jack profusely, and whistles to get the Seder's attention. I imagine the Sators are all watching.

Yeah, they love getting whistled at. Yeah, and they gather green whistle. They like get them and they, they, the, yeah, yeah, yeah. So everyone shows up at the cake table. What did you have on the top of your cake, Doran? I already told you, Red. No, you didn't. And you know what?

You promised me that if I worked with B, and I point to her right next to me, if she didn't know that I was about to abandon her, like, a week ago. You promised me that you would tell me this story. Now, I want to know what happened? And Greenwistle looks at you, Doran. What do you mean? Well, our friend Doran here was married to a goblin. Doran, this is a tale I surely must know.

As a man who is now in a kind of an interspecies situation, I think maybe for my wedding present. It's true. Tell me this love story. Okay, all right, okay. So Doran stands up and he... People gather around. Tinks his glass. Oh, no.

As a toast? Oh, boy, a toast, to form. This is no good. This is going to be fucked up. This might have been a bad idea. Our wedding toast moment now. This is... When I cut off her head.

Somebody let drunk Uncle Doran get up and talk. And then I kill all her family. I'd like to make this toast out to the lovely groom. Green whistle. And, um, uh, uh, Marilla. Decay. Just kidding.

The bride, the bride and the groom. It's a bad mushroom joke. You are the embarrassing uncle. Oh, no. I used minor illusion to cast a round of laughter for that joke. That's all you laughing, though? It's all my voice layered. If I could simply give you some words of advice,

some words of wisdom here on your on your day of it's that um interspecies marriages can work very well um as long as you love and respect each other and and always remember um and that's what he looks around at his companions and he says just don't eat her family thank you cheers and as doran walks down off the stone and like walks away you see his bum burning bright back. Yeah. Beautiful. That's perfect.

That's where we're going to cut away from the scene. Cute. So after the ceremony, but before the return of the wedding party, so things are really winding down, you notice that all the pixies are gone. They excuse themselves and leave. And then they return. All together, they're carrying this sunshade, woven reeds, spruce branches, magically enchanted together. And they explain to Morella and Greenwistle the purpose of this sunshade.

That this will help you traverse the upper realm for a time in its shade. As Morella is not able to be on the surface for long, this will protect her and keep you safe. And the couple are very happy. They explain their plans to excavate further the caved-in Echo Cave and make it their shared home together, this like place between worlds where they can both exist happily sort of half in, half out of each other's realm. And then the party's over. Everyone kind of has done and say their goodbyes. Folks embrace and then leave and quiet resumes back in this, this cavern. And Doran's shaking hands with all the guesses they leave and hugging and just acting jovial and just.

jovial in general like Doran is. I think we're all kind of saying goodbye to different people. Very nice meeting you sprungus. Goodbye, goodbye. Love all your little mushroom friends there. And it's weird. Like when you leave the cavern, it's kind of twilight

out already. You spent the whole day underground. It's really disorienting. Maybe you're all kind of just waking up from this. It's like going to a movie theater midday. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You come out and it's really hard to kind of get a grasp on reality. this feels like a totally different world.

Wow. Cray Loth, do you think I'll ever get married? Do you want to get married? If I do get married, will you be my best man? Oh. Oh, I wasn't prepared for this. I would be honored. Yes, most definitely, of course.

I'll be your best man. We got to find you someone. Let's find Red Lowe. He's next. Darlane, would you be my best man, too? I would be happy to be your best man, too. Jack, could you start Liaman's tiny tent, please? Nice.

You got it, Red. Everyone settles down. It's been a long day. It's almost like deja vu for you red when you wake up in the middle of the night, and Oren is missing from his. bedroll. And I'm going to spend a minute and do primeval awareness to see if I can see anybody around. I mean, you detect your companion sleeping with you peacefully within the hut, but you also

detect that there are two humanoids about 300 meters from you to the south. Despite the jovial nature of the evening, Redd still has suspicions. and his deepest, darkest, to worry about what other evils might have seeped into the party. And I think one of Red's traits is his ability to still have that hunter mindset, even in the most droolvial times. Yeah, he's very good at snapping between two personalities. I love that. And he sits right up, and silently, he's going to cast, pass without trace,

and he's going to head in the direction of what he imagines is Oren. Okay, roll stealth for me. 24. You move silent as a shadow through these woods, through the glade in shadow-topped cathedral that you've come to know so well over the few days you've been living here. And you hide within the boughs of a shrub as you observe Orrin in a shaft of moonlight. He's sitting on a little mossy, boulder, talking. animatedly. You are reminded of the time you caught him speaking with an invisible entity. You can't hear him from the distance that you are from him, but he seems to be very passionate.

He's speaking with great emphasis on his words and he's gesticulating, and for a moment you worry until you see her B, your daughter, is sitting a little bit lower down than orange she's partly obscured by some foliage but she's sitting on a fallen log and she responds to him equally fervently and they're

talking together in the moonlight here by themselves in the middle of the night in shadow top cathedral And then you notice that the couple is attended by some fairies that are flitting around in this overhead canopy, casting a dim golden light, like flickering candles. And as you watch, B stands up and gestures back towards camp and takes two quick steps towards Oren, grasps him by both shoulders, and kisses him on the mouth. And Red makes that sound. And then immediately, like, clasps his mouth. And hopes that no one sees. Did they, like, turn in my direction?

No, no one notices. And Red, like, just like that Homer Simpson meme, just, like, walks backwards. And continues to walk backwards. And Red is just like, I don't know how to approach this. I need to go to the person who knows the most about love. Smash cut to Red's hand rolling a figure back and forth until the figure rolls over. and Red's like, I think Orrin and B just kissed. And Elmort Bottle River rolls over.

And I love the idea of me like, I don't know either of those people. But I'm happy to be. Orrin and B, we'll talk in the morning, we'll talk in the morning, go to bed. And he like heads back to camp. He goes to bed. once again to those who make all of this possible every single patron supporter is why this show exists.

A special thank you, of course, to Christopher Ryan Evans, Mitchell Cardwell, Colin Burkhardt, Doug Churchman, and Merlin. See you in the New Year. Do you hear any weenie claps, Harlan? No weeny claps. No one's a weenie.

Unless you want to be a weenie, in which case, weenie up. baby we need a weenie clap but it sounded like a hand clap to you guys

because it was that tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat I can make your hands clap I can make a windmill

I can make a pants clap okay oh my gosh wow oh episodes is this not episode 69

okay are we there is there we skit she goes blue you guys Thank you.