Dice Shame - 67 | 'No Smoke Without Fire'

Episode Date: January 21, 2021

The party, surviving an ambush, pushes on towards Everlund... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Uckdor It's a flogold What are you talking about? I don't know what that means Oh, don't be afraid That's great news And that's when you see For the first time

Dorin It drops his act Here they are To find out the cause of death I'll stay on course with you If you'll have me You're not just stuck in Borovia There's more to you

And the giant died Of being too cold And so they ran Surprise us once, shame on us Surprise us twice We fucked up again Welcome back to Dishame. This is episode 67, no smoke without fire. MVP this week is Gareth Deakin for being a longtime fan and supporter of ours.

Thanks so much, Gareth. Join us on the Invictus stream for more actual play D&D goodness. I'm running Harlan, James Schwartz, and Chris Viseau through the old school Ghosts of Saltmarsh campaign. It's a great time to tune in because we're only a few episodes deep and it's a ton of fun. Catch us live every Wednesday at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard or whenever you like on our YouTube channel. www.w.com is the easiest way to find us. That's the one. All right, should we do this? Let's do it.

All right, let's get pumped up. Let me count us in. Three, two, one. Yeet. Oh, man. Three, two, one, yeat is pretty good. Yeet. I don't get it. I mean, yeat, I get, ironically, but now there's slap, which is I, I feel old when people say slap. When something's good, it slaps.

Yeah, but you know what? I always used to be like, Dad, you don't get it. And now I legitimately feel old when I hear people use slap. I'm like, oh, no. Is it the slap or it's slaps? Yeah. Like, yo, this fucking track slaps. Like, I get the use of it.

it just feels really foreign to my ears. It makes me think of bass guitar. That's just the... Hey. I mean, the fact that all of you did, Seinfeld, dates us anyway. Hey, guys, remember this 90s bass? Very much on the pulse.

We've aged ourselves. But to me, that's the one that makes me feel like legitimately old. It feels foreign to my ears. Like, get the meaning of it. It just feels weird. There is one that makes me feel old, but I can't think of it right now. Because you're too old.

But when I, it'll be halfway through this recording, I'll be like, oh, I got it now. Damn, whippish-nappish. Oh, yeah. So here, here's a segue. Okay. If all of our character, if we were in a band. That was a segue. You just said, here's the segue, and then did it.

You don't need a segue when you go, here's a segue, and then you do it, because the segue is meant to be the thing you're going to say. Say, if we were in a band, the five of us, you know? Yes. I can tell you right now. Doren would be on the base. I can see that. Totally.

You know? Oh, you mean the PCs? Huh? There's only four of you. You mean if the PCs were in a band. Yeah, no, but the GM gets to be in a band with the rest of the... You get to be everybody else, the whole world. Technically, the GM would be like the manager.

I'm the unnecessary tambourine. No, that's Krayloff. I could see Fred being like the drum, the animal drums, you know, like, because he's energetic and stuff. I think Jack is definitely behind a computer and a keyboard and a synthesizer with five pedals on the ground, and he's got a whole bunch of effects queued up. And he's like, oh, yeah. A theramine.

I could see him using a theramine. He's doing the Johnny Greenwood thing. And then Kraylots and a tambourine. This band's terrible. This is a bad thing. It's bass, electric synth, drum, and a tambourine. A lead tambourine. You can do something with that.

The tambourines of it. It's got characters. Nobody else sounds like that band sounds like. I feel like Kraylotz also got some like gospel music. Oh, I could see him. True. You definitely have some. I can also see like Red doing like one of the miced drummers where he's singing

and playing, you know, as well as Doran. Yeah, but mostly you just go, yeah. Yeah. No, that'd be Doran. Yeah. Yeah, I could see Kralov thinking that tambourine is his like musical calling and he's like not that great, but then like one time like around a campfire like walking, he's like singing like old like gospel like really deep and people like, you should sing more.

And then everyone's like, oh, Kraylock, you're wonderful. No, no, no, no. You have to get up on stage. My heart's on the tambourine. You can do both. You have so many facets, Kralath. You get to explore and grow now that you're here. You're not just stuck in Barovia.

There's more to you. We forgot about Oren. Oren's probably the one singing. The Nightstone Four. On three. The Nightstone Four on three. Oh. And it's like a...

It's four three time. Syncopated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like a tower power. Oh, it's math rock. Clickety Clack's fantasy math rock Great Speaking of math rock

I'm just trying to find a segue into Fire crackles and dances Blah blah blah that I've written Hey here's a segue Can we use that one twice And one go? That's good Let's do that

Well I just found one lying around You could use it if you like I got this fair segue from earlier You want it? That's great fire crackles and dances in a large pyre mostly burnt down now casting eerie shadows in the dark forest clearing the smell of charred rotting flesh is pervasive some of you have wrapped your noses and mouths in fabric to dull the tarry rancid odor the animated corpses that were just recently astride horses and whose eyes gleamed brightly with murderous zeal are now mostly

charred bones. Some 50 feet away, a smaller campfire burning sweet pine and cedar provides some comfort against the horrors of the night. Therea Shindle's face is serious. She's wrapped in her cloak to ward off the cold. I know little of you or what has brought you through my forest, but I know enough folklore to recognize that these corpses are creatures of legend. The hunt lords stalk you. Well, I mean, I don't stalk all of us. Yeah. I look towards Kralath and Jack. Yeah, it must be one of us.

They seem to have eyes for you, Jack. What did you do to gather their ire? They were terrorizing a town, and we thought we'd put a stop to it. And, to our credit, if they're busy chasing us, they're not screwing around in that town. Mm-hmm. I mean, we can take them down every time. let them come. I'd love to put them down for good, though. We've got to find a way to end them. Yeah, they were specifically coming for you, Jack. And I admire your confidence, Kraloff,

but I don't know if that's a good mentality to have. I mean, we were relatively prepared here, but imagine us being in a town. If they had patience, if they got one of us alone, we'd be in trouble. No, no, you guys are right. I can feel my zeal coming through a little bit. I apologize. guys. But even when you were down, Jack, they wanted to go after you again. If we hadn't distracted them, you might not be here with us. Yep, that's pretty concerning. And I think, like, Jack's got, got Kieran sort of clutched close to him, sort of running his hands through the fur of his familiar, trying to find a little bit of comfort somewhere. He's got his, his orb still out in his lap, wrapped in the chains with the symbol of the eternal order that Kralath gave him on it. I think he's

going to sort of, he's going to leave that, that orb wrapped in chains because I think that's a really cool look. Kralath is thinking back, have I seen anything like this before? I see you have your dice in your hands. Why don't you roll religion for me? Six. It's, it's not something that you necessarily recognize from your time in Berovia, but it does occur to you that the bodies you saw astride these horses were not the same as the ones you

defeated in Noanar's hold. It seems to me that the corpses that we just vanquished and the corpses that we faced in Nuanar's hold were different, but perhaps animated by the same spirit. Yeah, yeah. Red, have you taken a look to see if there are any tracks around? Where did they come from? Did they appear out of nowhere?

Might be able to gain some information from that. I'm guessing they just rode out through the trees, and I'd bend down and take a look at the tracks. Does it seem like they were just maybe following us? I think they were following us, hunting us, so to speak. And I look towards Jack with wide, fearful eyes. Yeah, we're definitely going to put the tiny hut up tonight. Red, do you think you could just walk through the woods

and make sure there's no nearby graveyards or anything that could be hidden here? I just, if these things need bodies, I would feel comfortable knowing there weren't a bunched around. And Red sort of looks around at anybody, and he's like, do I have to go alone? Maybe someone come with me? Sarah looks at you through the firelight. She's across the fire from you. And she shakes her head. No, no graveyards in these parts, I'm afraid.

Oh, don't be afraid. That's great news. Let's just stay in the hut and try to get any kind of rest. This could be a tomorrow problem. You mentioned to old Terlang and myself that you're giant hunters. spurred by destiny. Do you really believe that? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Well. And then I nudged Doren. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Why?

Because a cloud giant wizard said so. He was huge. Sounds very far-fetched to say now, but there was a friend of ours who had the ability to commune with spirits on other planes and had been trying to find the truth of what is happening to the giants. And that had led him to conclude. something about the four of us and reshaping the ordnings. Why, why you above everyone in the realm? I wish I knew. Because we're awesome.

Look at Doran with his awesome bears. And Kralor, look how big he is. And Jack's got such a big brain. And I'm cool as hell. That's why we're doing it. I'll give you that. So why go to Everland at all? The city is full of merchants and wizards.

What help do you hope for from them? The green dragon, Clagilliamitar, had told us to speak to Valharo in Everland. A dragon? Yeah, it's been a long week. We haven't taken sides with any specific type of person or creature. And so we've taken help from dragons and giants, as well as, you know, anybody else along the way. So, yes, it was as interesting to me as it is to you right now. Very diplomatic of you.

Well, look, not enough people are no one we really ran into was doing anything about the giants. It seemed like they were running amok. And even though we're not going out and hunting them per se, it's important that somebody does something. This is a real problem that's affecting a lot of people. Well, I very much appreciate your efforts.

I, for one, believe that the natural world is sacred. Just as you, Kralath, believe that you need to maintain the balance between life and death, I am devoted to maintaining the natural order of the land. Water, rocks, plants, creatures, they all are interconnected to each other. And by the influence of conscious beings, the natural order can be misshapen or destroyed altogether. By destruction or extinction, I think that preventing the world from being overrun by giants, if that is indeed what's happening, would be a very noble goal.

Well, it is. I'm so glad you haven't experienced too much of it yourself. Look, if these things hunted us, there's no reason that they wouldn't hunt again, right? I mean, I guess we need to be looking over our shoulder from here on out. Yeah, maybe we can learn more about these haunts in Everland as well. Certainly got my attention. As Jack mentioned, though, you seem to be able to handle yourselves in combat,

and at least you won't be surprised this time. Well, not again. Now that we know it's not coincidental. Surprise us once, shame on us. Surprise us twice. We fucked up again. But surprise us three times. We really should start sleeping in Lehman's tiny house. It won't happen. I don't know much about giants. In fact, I, myself, am not well suited for fighting them. I know my strengths lie elsewhere. I've never even seen one. but I am happy to call your goals my goals and to claim you as my friends. Whoa, cool. I have a new friend, guys.

Stephen, did you hear that? Red walks off to a nearby bush. It's been a pleasure to walk through these woods with you too. I have something that might help you on your way if you would take it. She rummages through her cloak and pulls out a dyed red leather pouch. It's about the size of an apple tied with a drawstring, and she tosses it across the fire to you, Jack. Yeah, I catch it and carefully open it in my lap. On the autumn flanks of the Lost Peaks, there grows a rare plant we call a Selimorn, which only blooms after being touched by a unicorn.

Its fruit bestows a strange power to those who would eat it. And as you untie this leather satchel, you find eight. silver berries. These are incredible. She explains to you that swallowing a berry has the same effect as imbibing a potion of invisibility.

Ooh. So we make our way to bed, comforted by the relative safety of Liamann's tiny hut. Thanks, Liamon. Thanks, Liamon. He's a pretty creative guy. He's just crouching over us.

Wait, hut or butt? How many humanoids does it fit. I think our party is kind of swelling. How many humanoid does it take to sleep in a hut? I was just about to say, there's a joke in there. Because we're up at seven now, right? Yeah. The four of you, B and Oren, and now Thera.

Liamann's massive tent. Well, that is actually a tiny hut and not a massive hut. Nine creatures of medium size or smaller can fit inside the dome with you. That's us. You got room for two more, but things are getting real cozy. Oh, yes. And Kralov sprawls. I mean, that's, that's, we're getting like, Dwarven style. in here.

And Red's insisting that Stephen comes in anyway, even though he can just be, it's like, come on, guys, there's plenty of robe. Stephen can stand over there. And you continue on your journey. You head through the northern reaches of the high forest for three days. And as you travel, the land around you crystallizes, catching its breath with cold. Snow blankets, bows of evergreens and crunches underfoot. On the third day, Uctur the 13, the trees thin.

and finally give way to Scragly Scrubland. Where the trees of the high forest once sheltered you, you are now exposed, and the wind savages your exposed skin as a winter storm blows in, crusting you in sleet. This feels a bit familiar. Red pulls out all of our winter gear

from the bag of holding and, like, hands it out to everybody. Let a bundle up again. Get back in your snowsuits. It's amazing how that wind just comes up out of nowhere. I kind of like the winter, really. The snow makes me feel like I'm in some sort of dream. Like those ones I keep having about the weird future.

We all kind of give you a sidelong look. At least it's not Ice Windale. Yeah. That place was cold. That place was cool. What did we do up there again? Fight a giant or something? Keep your eyes open for tomb tapers, Jack.

That's right. That's too many things hunting me. Yeah, you're pissing off a lot of people, Jack. And somehow you guys have still been standing behind me. So maybe don't stand too close to that, I guess. No, we'll just have to stand closer. protect you. Riding in a super tight formation.

That's right. Orrin has taken to riding with B on Snowdrop. He's not bunking with Doran anymore. And he's like playing the mandolin as you guys travel through the storm and they're like chatting and laughing together. Oktardt.

You know, that forest was quite beautiful, but I'm really happy to get out in the open once again. See where I come from, I turn to Thera, which is the other side of the water. I'm big into the diversity of the landscapes. I'm a ranger by trade, and my little continent has a lot more variation and a lot tighter little area than your place over here,

and Faroon or whatever you call it. Tell me more. What's it like? Oh, well, it's beautiful. Deep jungles, mushrooms taller than your eyes. Oh, the creatures there. Mushrooms? What? Taller than your eyes?

Yeah. Yeah, like the ones we saw in the cave. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Well, they're not. higher than your head. They're just between your eyes in the top of your head. What am I supposed to say? That's how old they are. We have these giant sort of creatures that we hunt down for the meat in their underbelly. It's a wonderful place. I'd love to take you there if you're really interested in the natural world. And when's the last time you were there? Are you homesick? Oh, and I sort of look to be a little bit nervously. And you can tell based on the fact that she's with an earshot, Red's like, yeah, of course, I'm homesick. Could I go back there sometime pretty soon, I'd say? He says loud enough for B to hear.

Mm-hmm. And then sort of drops the subject altogether. Thera gestures up ahead through the storm. Here we are. We'll reach Everland tonight, if the weather permits. Amazing. And we've come to a flat stretch of earth, leading roughly north, relatively straight, devoid of scrub or tree, covered with snow.

This is the Evermore way. You stop your horses to gain your bearings and maybe have a snack, and the Thera helps you pick some clotted snow and ice out from the horse's hooves. As we are stopped, Red hops off and checks to see if it's packing snow. It is. Oh, he makes a real nice snowball and whips it at Doren. I love it. I mean, roll the hit.

Natural 20. Where does it hit me? Yeah, where do you hit him? Right in the blushing bottom. Where else? Red aims for the back of Doren's head, but at the last second, Krayla, just absent mind was like, Doran, do you? And Doran, like, turns and gets it right in the fucking face.

And I'm like, oh, sorry, Doran. And that's when you see for the first time, Doran drops his axe in the snow. Ow! And wipes his face looking at you with disgust until the disgusted look immediately turns to a smile and a grimace. And this little dwarf barrels towards you and picks you up. and plows you into a snowbank. And Red doesn't even fight it. He's just like,

ah, ha, ha! And, like, takes it full force as he, like, barrels into the plume of snow and just, like, puff, ups air behind him. Guess it's time for a break. And Kralov hops off the horse and begins to open his bag of food. And he reaches in, and he pulls out cookies

that have been just hanging out in there. Nice. And he, uh, he, uh, He hands them out. And he's vegan friendly. And he's got some powder as well. And he makes a little fire and starts to heat up some water to put in this powder and makes little hot cocoa's for everything.

Oh, that's cute as far. Nice. With marshmallows? I think taking the break now that like Everland is on the horizon, Jack's got his own journal out and he's leafing through it and trying to like figure out exactly what the plan is here. He's a little bit nervous about Moongleam Tower and Valharo. Cool. So you guys have a cute hot chocolate break in a snowball fight.

Yeah, and Red, like, lays down to make what we would perceive as a snow angel. And then when he, like, stands up, it's this weird, like, it's a creature, clearly. But no one recognize it. And he's like, it's a floghole. And what are you talking about? You, like, walk away. Like, stand up carefully to add, like, a final detail that doesn't make any sense at all with your foot. And then B, like, walks over and she's like, huh, yeah, yeah.

Everyone else is like, what? That's funny. As you guys pack back up and get ready to hit the road again, Thera sort of clears her throat. And she's like, I'll stay on course with you if you'll have me now that you're here at the road. I plan to continue east from Everland to Jalanthar to visit an old friend, a ranger named Nardros. Oh, and my stubs perk up. He's also of the Emerald Enclave.

Cool. He might like to meet you as well if you're interested in accompanying me past Everland whenever you're done with your business, of course. Is he a bow or a blady? I don't know what that means. Well, does he use a bow as a ranger or blades? I've never seen him with a bow, so I imagine he's a blady. Ah, cool. I could use to talk with a blady.

I haven't met a few. That ranger slang for you. I'd like to bring her along. I mean, if that's okay with you guys. Well, it sounds like she'd like to bring us along. And, yeah, if we survive Valharo... What do you mean survive Valharo? What's Valhara?

Well, he's the guy, but he's a wizard, and he's got a whole thing with my dad and the family, and so I don't know, wizards are bad news. Hold on, pause, everyone. Are you saying that we're walking into something that could be bad news? I don't, like, it's, it's like family business kind of bad news. Us? Walk into bad news? Well, all I mean to say is there's bad blood between your family and his family. I don't think it's violent.

I just, they definitely, the name has never been spoken. with any kind of happy reverence. Would he recognize you? Yeah, I met him 20 years ago in Silvery Moon. It was great when he knew who my mom was, but as soon as he found out about the dad's side of the family, it turned a little sour. And I mean, I was only 30 at the time,

so I had a little hot-headed myself. We might have had words. Wow. Well, I mean, not to cut you out, Jack, but is it possible that you being there would, you know, ruin this for us? Should we maybe play it cool, or do you think it would affect it negatively at all? If we need information from him, and there's a possibility that he might not like your family, maybe it makes sense to try at first without you there?

And I sort of looked at Kralath, like, I mean, and I'm only saying it because you said there's bad blood there. It's been 20 years. You think he would remember you? He literally started this conversation being like, Like, bad blood between a wizard. How would you feel about meeting him, Jack? I think we can get past it. I'm certainly willing to try. Jack's not one to make enemies.

Look at the hunt lords. Tomb tapers. The reanimated corpse of a wizard from Icewind Trail. Yeah. I mean, let's be real here, guys. I think the track record might be. You know, we could just send Jack and Doran in to start. And if they fail because of Jack's connections,

then Kraloff and Red can. go in right afterwards and ask the same questions very inconspicuously. Well, wouldn't it make more sense to do the opposite that we try first and if we can't go then use the connection because he wouldn't be sullied by Jack's experience? Well, I just think Jack's an asset in terms of his knowledge. You added an set on there. I really thought you were going to stop halfway through that word. You know what?

If Jack feels fine about it, I feel fine about it. It might lead to some very interesting dramatic tension as well. And worst case scenario, we can kill him. Jack, I mean, this harrow guy seems cool. Anybody who doesn't like Jack's onto something. All right, look, good or bad, Jack does know him. Jack, you feel fine about it. Worst case scenario, we'll improvise.

That's what we do best. Let's get out of here, and Red climbs up on True Stephen and starts along the road. As the afternoon wears on and you continue north along the Evermore way, a farmhouse leaking a thin line of smoke comes into view just north of the road. It becomes apparent after a few more minutes of walking that the building has been damaged. One wall is partly demolished, and the smoke issues from a hole in the sagging roof, not a chimney, as you previously assumed. Whoa. Hey.

What's going on over there? Kieran, do you want to go check it out? Sure, boss. I wouldn't mind going as well, and I hop off and sort of stealth up behind. Be careful, Red. Kieran takes to the sky and red you stealthily traverse the snow. I'm going to cast pass without trace on myself. Sure.

So we see Kieran above you and you below as you sort of stake out this farmhouse. The first thing you notice red from the ground and Kieran simultaneously from the skies is that the snow around the farmhouse is stained red here and there. And Red, you peer in through this hole in the farmhouse wall to see that this whole building is in a poor state. There's a lot of damaged furniture. It's just a big mess inside, but you don't see any living creatures. And then Kieran from the sky reports back to you, Jack. Yeah.

There's a dead body here, boss, a giant. Oh, shit. Can you tell what kind? Not from up here. I can't see the giant. It's around the back of the house. Can I just do a perception while I'm looking inside? Sure.

17. Red, you note that the smoke that you had seen coming from the farmhouse is the product of what had surely been a massive bonfire, the only a few pieces of smoldering furniture remains. There's shattered fragments of pottery lying all over the floor. I'll send a message to Red as soon as I'm within range of that spell just to let him know about the giant. out back, um, tell Kralath and Doren, we should get over there. There's something killed a giant. I turned to Ther and ask, have you come by this way before?

Not recently, no. You know this farmhouse? I spend most of my time in the forest. Hmm. Okay. Doran, you ready? Yep. Like, featuring Doren, like hoisting ork splitter and, yeah, wiping it off.

And I'm going to move along the side of the building to try to get eyes on the downed giant. Yeah, you turn the corner and it's there. Hello. I'm dead Can I tell what kind of giant it was? It was a hill giant It's been massacred It's leaked massive amounts of blood out

Into a great pool that's frozen I can tell why it's smell I guess I can respond to Jack With the message as well And I'll tell him Hill giant seems to be dead And just from where I am Can I roll medicine on it

Maybe see how long it's been dead? Sure 18 Good roll Um, you would estimate from the temperature of the body, maybe you lay your paw on an exposed piece of flesh and you feel that it's hard, frozen. This is maybe a day or too old. And I finish my thought and I say, maybe a day or too old. And then I turn and I assume I see the others approaching.

Yeah, they're within, you know, 20 or 40 feet of you now. And just while they span that last 20 or 40, I just close my eyes and do primeval awareness, just to see if I can detect any humanoid within. a five-mile radius. I mean, worrying about the immediate area, obviously. There are no humanoid's detectable. Perfect. And then I just call out,

Hill Giant here, dead a few days at least. So let's investigate this murder scene. Team corpse inspector. Here they are to find out the cause of death. Come on, Doran, you and me are team awesome boys.

Let's go inside the house and poke around. And Doran and I leave you two to the dead body. Yeah. There is him, Melod of like corpse inspectors, huh? Just like a, you know, rub shoulders with you. And try and sort of walk around the area to reconstruct what I think might have happened

here in my mind, just try and see how many footsteps are there, what size are all the boots. Are there any, like, broken bits of weapon or armor or blood that's not hill giant blood in any sort of way or clues? And as Doran and I are walking away, I just whispered to him, I already figured out it's a hill giant and it died a few days ago. Let's go inside and loot. Absolutely. And good thinking.

Um, roll an investigation check, Rob. Fucking natural 20. Hey! 27. It's no snowball, but... It's not good enough. I know. All right, Jack.

As you pace around this body, I'm picturing Krayloff kind of pacing in your footsteps. I cast detect magic. Oh, hell yeah. You don't find anything. Cool. Good idea. Jack, you pace around this body and you see that there are many footprints all around this creature. you see that the blood here is not just in kind of a pool that you would picture a stagnant bleeding body

would have made that it's kind of like this giant had dragged itself a little ways and then bled out in the snow so it's kind of got like a smear of blood leading to the final carcass and you also recognize that the many footprints all around the corpse of this giant are dwarven feet. As Jack has his nose in the snow figuring out how many handspans wide these boots are and are they of dwarfen making, and if so, where could they have come from? Kraloth, you spot off to the side of the farmhouse by a well. There is a fresh grave. Your grave cleric eyes see a careful pile of,

of stacked rocks, and you know what must lie under there. Meanwhile, Red and Doran, inside the farmhouse, a scene of utter chaos. Mine, mine, yours, mine, yours, yours, yours, yours, mine, yours. Listen, it's none of ours because we're trespassing right now. What? Until we sing a song, yours, yours, mine, mine, yours. Yes, no, of course not. I don't want to take anything. Nothing in here's worthwhile, no offense.

I pick up apart and drop it, smashing it. What happened here? I don't know. I'd like to roll for perception or investigation maybe. Investigation. Oh, two. Fuck yeah. Doran, you are overcome by the wreckage.

It's so weird to be in this house. All messy. I can't focus on one single thing. That's all right. Let's just take it line by line. But okay, maybe instead of investigation, what are we looking at? You mentioned that a lot of the furniture was pulled out? Yeah, so I'll tell you in broad strokes what you're

experiencing here. The wall of the farmhouse read that you were peeking in before, this has been demolished. Additionally, the inside of this farmhouse is largely just kind of a one room affair. The people who lived here were not wealthy creatures. And most of the furniture has been burnt up in this bonfire. There are many shattered fragments of pottery all over the place. It looks like most of the dishes have been destroyed. And I turn a door and I say, All right, well, look, there's a big hole in the wall. Oh, I didn't see that there. Oh, Doran.

Is it giant-sized? Not really. I have no idea how big it would be. Maybe a giant could fit through there or not. But regardless, there's a lot of mess around here. Can I look around to see if there's multiple tracks, to see if there's, like, multiple people that were running through here? Yeah, you can roll survival.

19. You would estimate that many medium-sized creatures occupied this place for a matter of a few days. Interesting. Well, it looks like whoever was in here was here for a few days. Additionally, it's very strange to you because you realize that this wall was demolished from the inside out and not attacked from the outside in. Interesting. And I tell that to Doran. Finally, as you are examining the wall, you notice that the wall beside the demolished wall is marked over and over and over with indentations that were probably. made by the head of a throwing axe or a similar blade. Doran, what does this look like to you?

And I walk up and I just sort of put my paw on the axe hole. I finger the axe hole. It looks... Ew! Very good. I couldn't. It was so perfect. It was right there.

Well, it looks like. And Doran now paces the room. Well, I'm thinking that... Whoever was in here tried to get through that wall and he's pointing into the wall with all the ax holes in it. And then they decided that that wall was too sturdy and they went through this wall. And then a giant arrived

and they realized that they should get out of here and the giant died of being too cold. And so they ran. Don, are you feeling all right? I sort of like put my hand on his forehead and I'm like, I don't think so, bud. I think this looks like it was some sort of encampment. Maybe bandits were moving through.

Oh, get out of here. It looks like people spend some time here. And I look around. Does it look like people were spending time here? Mm-hmm, yeah. I mean, the bonfire is one good way of looking at. And there's, indeed, there's some, like, drips of fat and scraps of bone in the fire, this huge fire that had burned for quite a long time that's now basically out.

Kralath, you are looking at a cairn of rocks. Hmm. and it's right beside the well you said that's right yeah craylath kneels down next to it and just looks to see if there are any markings as it covered in snow are there footsteps around yeah there are there are footsteps and they're similar footprints to the ones that were surrounding the giants there there's some evidence of this having been a fresh grave some sprays of dirt over the crust of snow that had been there for you know days ago how big is the grave probably would be host to a medium creature. Hey, Jack, we got a grave over here. Yeah. And as Kralov calls him over, he's going to just walk over to the well

while he waits for Rob, Jack. These dwarves must have got lucky if they only lost one fighting a hill giant. Dwarves, eh? Yeah, you can tell by the boots. Huh. There was a detail that stood out to me, and I don't know if it's... So the hill giant was trying to crawl away to somewhere before it died. Is there anything obvious that it might have been crawling towards?

Like, was it trying to get to something, or was it just trying to get away from a bunch of dwarves that did not expect to fuck it up? Probably the latter. All right. Kralath looks at the well, and he just kind of walks over to it, pulls down his goggles,

and looks down within, just piers down into the depths. You see a mostly empty well. There's a thin skin of ice down at the very bottom. Would have been hard to draw fresh water from here at this temperature. but otherwise it's empty. What do you make of that grave, Jack? Like I said, lucky they only lost one fight in a hill giant. These folks must have known what they were doing.

Let's go see what's happened inside. Inside, what's happening. Red's sitting on a table, like trying to get through to Doran. I'm like, Doran, look at the size of the footprints and the axe holds. And look at all the things that people have done. What do you think it is? And he's like, Red's like kind of trying to guide him along a little bit. Doren paces the room one last time looking around.

And there's, like, a moment of aha. And he looks over there. It's like, blud-blun, bling, bling, bling. Why, these are dwarves. Oh, Doren. Good job, bud. There must have been a group of dwarves here.

Oh, my goodness. Of course. I don't know how I didn't notice this before. Oh, me neither. Look at the pile of excrement over here. This is clearly dwarven. And look at the way that they left the kitchen. Clearly dwarves.

The camera, like, pans back, just a bus. of Doran is like a massive mural that says dwarves were here. And Red's just like sitting there watching. He's like, yeah, you pieced it together, bud. It's a mural that's over top of the hole in the wall, which is perfectly height for only dwarves. Yeah, exactly. Good thinking.

It probably is dwarves. But, well, that's what seems odd about this. It looks like they were waiting. It sounds a bit weird, but maybe you could inform. Would dwarves lay a trap like this? It almost looks like... And do I get the impression that... maybe the dwarves were using this as a bit of like a lure or something because you said that someone

was throwing an axe over and over like waiting time and you said people were like cooking and stuff like that right yes it occurs to you as you survey this one room farmhouse that the demolished wall was probably deconstructed to allow cover for the dwarves inside of this farmhouse so so that they could use projectile weapons while also hiding behind this partly demolished wall. They've, like, created holes for themselves to fire a crossbow through maybe. Red's hunting mind went to blind immediately

because out of all the fighting styles that he's used to, this is absolutely one of the most familiar, laying in wait for your prey to come to you first and foremost. Exactly. Which is why, in the oddity of it, that Reds sort of pieced us together quickly. It seems out of character, but very in his class. And as the two of you put this together,

Kralath and Jack come around the corner. You guys find anything in here? Yeah, it looks like, well, Dorn put together that this must be some sort of hunting blind. Dwarves were here waiting for... Yeah. I guess they're prey. Yeah, that giant didn't know what hit it.

Yeah. No, no. It makes sense now. But who? Now that we know it's dwarves, can I do another role, maybe to look for specifically who might have been here? You can roll a history check.

At least this time, it's the 16. Oh, nice. Not bad. There are a number of dwarven strongholds in the area, though not directly proximal to the area around Everland, but Mithril Hall is to the northwest. Citadel Feldbar is to the northeast, and then farther to the east Citadel Adbar.

So there are a number of different dwarven fortresses. and, you know, these dwarves could have come from any number of great civilizations. You don't know specifically of any battalions or troops that would necessarily be in the area. But I guess maybe would I know they were hill dwarves instead of mountain dwarves? If you examine the footprints outside, you're able to discern that they were mountain dwarves here. Ah, okay, okay. How can you tell, Doran, I didn't pick that up? Oh, well, you see, I lead Jack back out.

Even with your 27, there are some things that wizard doesn't know. Well, but it's my mission to eliminate those things. In fact, maybe I take a walk back outside and as I come back in, I say, yeah, there were definitely mountain dwarves here. If only I knew what clan, then we could send a message and say thanks and maybe find out what else they're doing. Well, hold on. What do you mean, thanks?

And I turned towards the house and I'm like, this place looks like it's been trashed. Guys, this place, they were waiting here for a few days, weren't they? Yeah. Well, what happened to the people who lived here? Well, I would assume it was abandoned because I don't know dwarven tribes that would come in and tell a family to get out so that they could use this as some sort of hide. But you ask how I can discern the hill dwarfs from the mountain dwarves. Why, it's simple, Jack, look at the size of the boots. Look at the shape of the boots.

If this were a hill dwarf, these tracks would be much softer. Are you a hill dwarf? No, I am a mountain dwarf. That is offensive to ask. It's, by the way, just FYI. The boot shape. And plus, there's a star in the bottom of this boot. And I know a hill dwarf would not have a star.

Yeah, I mean, I admit my knowledge of hill dwarf cobbler's is not what it could be. So I really appreciate this. I'm going to take a couple of notes. But it will be now. Well, now you know. Yeah, that's, that's, wow, I learned something. We've only read two books on Hildwarf cobblery, and that was a decade ago. And they were, they were about Hildwarf armor and weapons and clothing in general.

It didn't really stop at the soul of the boot, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't beard to boot. As they say. Doran, you mentioned what clan this might have been. I mean, I do believe that whoever it was was very skilled at fighting. As Jack pointed out outside, they only. only had one casualty fighting an entire hill giant. I mean, we killed 30 without any breaking your sweat, but whatever. There's a casualty outside.

Jack only went down three times. And it was petrified once, but let's not forget about that. Doran, you hear that there's a grave outside. I think Doran kind of starts to make his way towards the door, sort of backing up as in can't get there fast enough, even though he wants to answer Kralat's question. And he turns, as he's talking to Kralath, he's kind of backing up. He says, well, you know how dwarves are.

I mean, they wouldn't send their kids and the, you know, the cooks out here. They're obviously sending the warriors out here. So, you know, obviously they're not going to be that many casualties. I just want to take a look at one minute. I want to the grave out here. I'll be right back. And he kind of runs out. Hey, Krayloth, you ever seen dwarf shit?

Jack's going to follow Doran. And what do you do, Doran? Doran looks around for the grave. It's a cairn of stacked stones, so the people who buried this body found a number of similarly shaped and the similar size of stones and stacked them in a rough pyramid

atop this body. Now, does that geometric pile say anything specific to the Dwarven clan or tribe, or is it just how many other cultures might bury their dead? I think this is a really great question. This actually reminds you of your past. You fought in a great war some 50 years ago, and you remember mass graves. You remember the bodies of your brethren having been put into these huge holes in the ground, dug carefully by dwarers like you, but for sheer convenience because of their number, having to bury them together.

But in order to honor them and to remember them, there were these giant pyramids that were created to house the dead, these makeshift crypts on the battlegrounds. It reminds you very much of people that you would have fought alongside shoulder to shoulder in these great wars. These are our soldiers, Doran. Doran approaches the grave and kind of leans forward on it with one hand, and then two hands. And he braces himself in sort of like a standing, leaning position against the grave. You know, this reminds me, Jack, of the graves that we would bury for the fallen dwarven soldiers back in the wars of this land. God, those were terrible times. We buried so many that, oh, I wasn't going to get emotional.

but this is, it's quite emotional seeing it like this. Yeah, it's all right, Doran. I think we're okay for the moment to let us sink in. Yeah. Do you want to head back inside? You know what? Give me a moment and I'll be back inside shortly. Sure.

I take my own stone from the ground and I place it, you know, where I think it needs to go just to finish it. And you hear Doran mumbling as you walk away, something, something moreden. The sun starts to get low on the horizon as we watch Doran pay tribute to this fallen soldier. A solemn time for Doran. A fallen dwarf is never something to celebrate.

Thank you once again to our Patreon supporters, Christopher Ryan Evans, Mitchell Cairdwell, Colin Burkart, Daniel, Doug, Katie Orrett, and Merlin. See you next week. Hey, there's a little bit more. Keep listening. I'm imagining Kralath and Red

just like hanging out in the house and waiting and being like, okay, so if zombies attacked us right now, what would you do? Wouldn't have a chance, buddy. I'd be like, pio, pio, pio. But what about you? Would you try to turn them on dead?

You know what? I think I would try to like block that door. No, you wouldn't, because he'd come through that one. Oh, no. Do we have to roll for it? Yeah, we're playing D&D in D&D. That's awesome. I've actually always thought about doing that.

So meta. You guys are on the campfire. Humans and households. Yeah.