Dice Shame - 69 | 'Give and Take'

Episode Date: February 4, 2021

The team starts out on the road to find the source of the problem in the North... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dwarves, knew it. Don't worry, we're on it. Not my sash. I cast fireball at the darkness. The Nightstone Four Foundation on three. Maybe they could have sent them warnings. God, not hand me downs. I am a bowie and I give him a big hug.

It may or may not even be genuine. Oh, you're not going by yourself. Any chance of that? Your heart, Torrey. Fuck. Shit. Ha ha ha. Jack fucking with shit and it fucking back.

Welcome back to Dishame. This is episode 69, give and take. MVP this week is Jason Ortlep for being a huge supporter of ours and becoming a patron. Remember, you can support us for Dishame N to hear the weekly releases of our sister show, Maliblo. If you're a fan of D&D but want more horror in your life, check out our friends at microphones and monsters. They're a fellow 5E actual play podcast playing with Sandy Peterson's Cthulhu Mythos corebook. You can find them at Microphones and Monsters.com.

It's pretty spooky. All right, should we do this? Let's do it. So we've been playing D&D for a little while, all of us. Harlan, Justin, Alex, Wait a minute. Is that what we're doing? This is D&D.

What have you been playing, Harlan? Oh, yeah. I want to know for today to start off our show, if your PCs were playing D&D. Oh. If Red was playing D&D, what D&D character would Red was? What would Red play? I don't know.

What would Krayloff play? Is a real question. I think Krayloff definitely would play a bard. Probably a halfling bird. I think he would... Oh, I can see it. I can absolutely see it. You got the food love that has...

Halflings share, and then your tambourine. Yeah. Yeah, I think Jack's going human rogue. Ooh. I think he just, somebody, you know, from nowhere just can blend in anywhere they're going of the, of the place, but not, not exceptional. Hmm. That's sneakiness that you enjoyed when you were infiltrating the cavern. Mm-hmm.

When you dropped down noiselessly, just kind of. Yeah, there was that one, he had his one Mission Impossible moment, and he's like, oh, I'm going to be a spy. Yeah. Yeah, and that's carried him forward. Who does Doran want to be? Make pretend. Doran would play a very tall. Tall wizard.

Using magic. Could you imagine Doran trying to play a wizard? It would be so cute. I know. I imagine Doran like not getting it. I cast, um. Like, okay, Doran, you got a roll now. What?

What do you mean? I cast fireball at the darkness. No, you don't have... You imagine Doran not getting it? What? Why? Why? No, I don't.

What gives you that, you know, constantly forgetting names? Oh, I know what Red would play. Red would GM it. Red would be the one to be like, oh, and this is the next world you go into, and this is the next hallway that you go into and just be like creating uncre-beenely. It'd be in like a frustrating way. He'd be like really frustrating GM because it would be so sort of-un. Yeah, exactly.

Well, let's play regular D&D, I guess. I know, it's so disappointing. Not meta-D-N-D-D-E episode. But D-Dorin wants it be. you a wizard. Fireballs. Lots of fireballs. It's just fireballs.

I'll take a break that week. So you just gained access to the Harper's network of teleportation circles with Valharo's permission. You're up one tiny tressum. What do you want to do next? So Red heads outside

and he's going to head towards that marketplace and I'm going to look around for any refugees and if I can't find any, I'm probably just going to start asking people. Do you know any refugees? for sale, geese, refugees? And where were those two dragon-borns with the kids? All those errant children.

Why don't you roll a perception check? You entered this bustling market. 17. Wonderful. There's a human family that's standing kind of awkwardly off to the side. Clearly a man and wife and five children. They've got a quilt spread out on the ground, and they're awkwardly sort of begging for coin from people.

They look out of place here. The children are wearing hand-me-down clothes. God, not hand-me-downs. Their expressions look a little lifeless. Red walks over and fishes ten gold pieces out of the bag and gives them to them. Here you go. I was wondering if you had a moment to talk. Were you some of the refugees that we've heard about from the outlying farms?

Oh, my God. Thank you so much, sir. You're too kind. Yes. unfortunately we are we were put out of our home it was two days ago

can you tell me what happened who exactly put you out of your home yes a squadron of dwarves soldiers evicted us they said it was for our own good that there was a wave of evil giants headed our way that we should head to the city for our own safety

they said that we couldn't live outside of city's walls anymore that it wouldn't be safe for the children I don't know what we'll do here our livelihood is in the country, farming the land. It's all right. This town will take care of you. Did you happen to get any insignia or any names, perhaps, of the dwarves that decided to throw you out? No, nothing in particular. They were vile group, rabble, coarse.

I tried to argue with them. We've defended our home before. We were ready to do it again, if necessary. But ultimately, I guess they're right. Goblins are one thing. Giants are something else. entirely. I'm sorry to hear that. Where was your farmstead located? Just east of town, on the way to Jalenthar. Thank you.

I hope that gold helps. And I stand up and I head back to the others and tell them about the conversation I just had. The first farmstead we found was to the south of us. This farmstead sounds like it was to the east. The dwarves might be moving in that direction. Yeah.

So it sounds to me like those dwarves were right. Well, hold on. Actions are not. The dwarves decided to take these people out of house and home. That's a pretty strong-handed action for something that might be noble. Did we not find a giant corpse at that house? No, it's shitty. I don't know if it is. I mean, if I was one of those farm people, I would have wanted to be told that there were roving bandits of giants that were coming to destroy them, escape with my life and my family, you know, and then the dwarves act as bodyguards, look after my house. Doran sits listening, smoking a cigarette, and feeling very ashamed.

He's sort of shaking his head a bit. Valharo said that there's people who stand to gain politically. He did allude to the fact that potentially little was being done about the giant problem as a whole because of potential benefit. I came into a windfall for my birthday and I invested it in the hamperat house to try and make a place for some refugees. Whether or not the dwarves actions are justified,

whether or not it saved lives to put people out of these houses, there are people without houses, there are people without livelihoods. If we could find a baker in town that we could trust, is there any amount of treasure we would feel comfortable with separating ourselves from to try and support these refugees? The Nightstone Foundation.

Red smiles. and he says, absolutely. I would drop a thousand easy. It's the same amount we left before. It doesn't all come to us as easy as it comes to you, Jack. That's split four ways. I do eventually want something. If you think you need your two silver pieces a day from the Jack Page Foundation,

you're welcome to it, sir. We're not in the... It costs more to try and take it back from it. Is it going to be called the Jack Page Foundation for refugees? It's like the droves of people coming in from... What about 400? Why don't we do 400 as like a temporary thing where it's, you know, until the refugees are back on their feet and the...

Is it really Jack Page? Can it not be from all of us? I would rather it be for the Nightstone Foundation. I think that's cooler. The Nightstone 4 Foundation on three. Sure, Jack. I think that's a great idea. And I let's spend a dollar amount.

What makes sense? I wonder if this is the first soup kitchen ever set up in D&D. Gotta be at least the second. I guess we did an orphanage before. That's true. We did. We got an orphanage. Wow.

Guys, we need a difference. You guys are the most empathetic. We never actually do the reordining. We just set up various charitable foundations. 500 gold? Yeah, done. Sure. You find someone, they figure out all the details.

Money changes hands. You feel good about yourself. Remember when you guys were on the fucking, it was like in the Deserin Valley somewhere, you saw this shepherdess and her child running away and you were like, don't worry, we'll take care of it, and then you just rode away. We're growing as people, I guess. That's kind of true. Well, that makes me feel better.

How are you feeling about all this door in there? These dwarves are fellow soldiers of yours, it sounds like. You know, I understand what they're doing, why they are ushering people out of their homes to kill the giants and to protect people, but they're going about it in a wrong way. surely there must be a better way to go about it, I agree. I mean, Krayalath, you can't seriously think that these ends justify the means. As far as I'm concerned, I mean, I would much rather be in a city with my family than...

Dead. Yeah, I mean, maybe they could have sent them warnings and told them you have the choice, giving them the choice. We saw that place. I assumed it was an abandoned house. And then again, it embarrasses me to see the way they left their excrement everywhere, for example. Well, that's it. And regardless, Krayloth, they said they tossed them out. They didn't give any warning that they were done. Or they could have found any number of ways to help fight a giant. I mean, why not stay on the outskirts of the farm instead of ransacking the place and taking over and then leaving it for dust?

I'm with you. We got to meet them. We got to figure out who they are. We're in the same fight. We are in the same fight. And you should see how dwarfs fight together. Let me tell you right now, it's a spectacle. There's a whole acrobatic part to it. If we catch up to this group of dwarves, perhaps we can write their wrongs. We can show them a better way. Look at the inn that we protected.

Yes, there was some damage by the ogres, but it wasn't destroyed by us. It happened to be partially damaged in the event, but we can teach these dwarves the proper way of doing this, and they can help us, really. Dawn, I agree. And let's just hope that we can be united front when we finally. find the dwarves and speak with them. Let's head to the east gate. No sense in waiting. We're done with everything we need to do in this town. Copy there. And I think on the way, Red stops by the tavern, just to check on Bea and Orrin. Yeah, I think they're having lunch. And Red just sort of moses up. We're taking off again. I think we're heading east to see if we can

find a source to this dwarven problem. You two tagging along. And I think Bea and Orrin kind of look at each other and share kind of a look, you know, like a glance, a knowing glance. And B's like, actually, Dad, I think we might stay here for a little bit, if that's okay with you. Oh, no, of course. You two don't do anything I wouldn't do. And Red sort of gives like an eye to, or in just that as he leaves. We shouldn't be too long. Be safe. Love you both. And yeah, Red leaves for the East Gate. So you guys end up at the gate together, the Up River Gate, and it brings you out onto the Rovin Road, which leads east to Jelanthar.

You have the nether mountains to the north and still the high forest to the south. This is a huge forest. It's like country-sized. As you travel, you pass by a few families of farmers traveling up the road toward Everland. And as you inquire of them, they're traveling plans.

They all tell similar stories about a band of dwarves who removed them from their home. this is becoming a well-known tale to you. And by like the third or fourth group of farmers, we're like, dwarves, knew it. Don't worry, we're on it. We get it. Check in with the baker.

Yeah. They're expecting you. Just go see your local baker. Yeah, you'll be all fine. You come across a couple more instances of farmhouses now half burned. You see some devastating detail. And it's strange, too. I'm not sure if you caught it with the first farmhouse,

these impressions of the axe head in the wall over and over again, this like idle game almost that's happening as the dwarves wait for the giants. But you see more evidence of this macabre playfulness happening at these hunting blinds that they're creating for giants. You see that a carefully piled cord of firewood has been, thrown in a specific direction over and over again. This hard work, anyone who knows how hard it is to chop firewood can appreciate the labor that went into this carefully stacked wood prepared for the livelihood to get through a cold

winter. And this cord of wood has just been tossed. And you can imagine this crew of dwarves board is just seeing who can throw all of this precious firewood, the firewood, the farthest, right? It's like, it's harmless, but it's harmful at the same time. You see that there is a dwarven shield split in half alongside a scene of battle with another butchered hill giant carcass. You find another few new graves vomit in the snow and dead livestock. This seems most telling. My God, what is going on here? Like, this is, this is the This is terrible. These people are being put out of house and home.

Are we getting any closer to them? Do you have a sense of them? Let me find out. And I think we take a break and I hop down after Stephen and I see Jackson like curling up around my leg and I'm like, and I'll do primeval awareness to see if there's any humanoid within five miles. Yes. There's a band of humanoids traveling toward you on the road.

There's about 30 of them. 30 coming towards us. And then I sort of motion for my bow and then put my hand down. Half instinct just because we're so used to being attacked and having violence towards us. But then also as I put it down questioning, and I turned to Doren for the first time, sort of just outright saying it. Dorn, how are we treating this? Is this a matter of just speaking sense into them? I've never met an evil dwarf.

That's not to say they don't exist. We may not need our shields and swords, but you'll be wise to sharpen your width. they're not going to be ready to listen to us. Well, then in this case, I do suggest we play it a little bit closer to the chest. I think I'd love to ask some questions before revealing our hand. In fact, I might even pretend

that we agree with what they're doing before saying we disagree so that we can get a little bit more of their position if that's okay with you guys. Yes, and let me borrow that, and I grab a sash off of someone and I cover my iron fist, Not my sash.

My best ranger sash. I cover my Iron Fist logo on my puldron. I think it's a great idea. It's a tense moment when you spot the silhouettes on the road heading west toward you. It takes just a few minutes, though, to realize that these are not dwarven figures. Humanoids of various sizes, yes, but not all dwarven. And Red from his crouched position reveals himself. Again, because he's got such great eyes, I feel like he can see a lot of these before everyone else can, you know?

And he stands up and he turns to the others. It just seemed like a rag type group. I guess it's not the dwarfs. Do they look at refugees? Yeah. As they close the distance, you see that they're hurting animals that are dragging carts. Everyone seems to be pretty heavily loaded down with luggage. There are children with them.

and someone breaks away from the group and starts jogging up toward you. And it takes a second and then Therra says, Quinn, Quinn! And she waves both of her hands above her head wildly. And the two reunite, there's like a fraternal hug exchange between the two of them and she quickly catches him up on who you are and what you guys are all about. At the same time, almost on top of her, he's telling her about the band of savage dwarves that invaded their town. They invited us all to leave with our lives, gave us 20 minutes to pack up what we had, and to leave forever. We have no intention of spending the winter in the woods, so we're on our way to Everland.

I'm glad to hear that we're not the only ones, but it's terrible, just terrible. Do they say where they were from? They said that they were here on their own business. On their own business. Yeah. Crests. The captain carried a golden hammer. Golden hammer.

It rings a bell, but you can't place it. Hmm. Bad guy, bad guy. Well, we intend to meet up with them. Can you tell us about where they were? These are murderous dwarfs. Are you saying you're going to go to Jalandhar? We are going to confront these dwarves

and the way that they've been treating you and others like you. He takes a knee and does, does that cool warrior thing where he, like, puts his hand behind your head and, like, touches foreheads with you, and he's like, brother. I'm delighted that

you took such care of Therra, and we're like siblings. She's another member of the Emerald Enclave. Yeah. You're the Blady. Yes. He pulls out his twin cimitars and, sing, sing, does it like a little twisty to you. Oh, wow. It's nice to meet another ranger.

I've never met another ranger. They're not a very popular class. Oh, are you a bowie? I am a bowie, and I give him a big hug. And I give him a big deep ranger hug as we, we breathe each other in and do primeval awareness as we're like hugging. It's like, I sensed you on the road. I sensed you too. With senses. Did you want, he looks through his ranger pack, a power bar. Oh, please. Got granola. Oh, absolutely. Here. Here's a little bit of rabbit jerky. He loves it. Why don't we take a moment? Let's move off the road. I'm sure we have some food we can give you if you've been running for a day we can help you yes i don't think we're being chased they seem like they wanted to set up in our town right did they say why something

about giants it all seemed very haphazard i think probably um everyone who is in queen's party decides that this is like a good place and time to set down for a little while to get the kids off of their shoulders and maybe to share a meal together with their rations. So folks sort of start unpacking cooking utensils and setting up small fires around where you're all standing on this road close to one of these burnt out farmhouses. And Thera, she tells Quinn about your goals, according to her. She sort of does a shorthand about how you've been traveling the world, looking to restore the balance to change the world, to set.

it right to hamper the evil goals of the giants. And he looks at you with appreciation. We're probably going to continue on to Jalanthar after this, just to figure out what we can about these dwarves. But I'm glad, Ther, are you parting ways with us here? Yes, I'll, I'll stay with Quinn and I'll get them to Evelyn safely, and the foundation will do great things for these people. Thank you guys again for what you've done. Quinn's like foundation what do you mean she's like these people paid 500 gold from their own pockets for refugees just like you to to help you get your back on your feet after what happened with the dwarves and it's it's not a lot but hopefully it would help out the village and he starts crying a little bit

and it's not clear whether he's just kind of like road weary or what but like the dirt on his face is just being cut lines through with these tears And he's like, this is everything. People like you are everything. A look of determination crosses his face. And he says, stay there. Just a second. And he roots through his bag and he pulls out a couple of items.

And he hands them out to you across from the cooking fire on which I'm sure Krayalov has something delicious burbling. Should do. Road scones. These will help you. And thank you for the ways that you've helped us. You had no idea we were coming down the road, and, well, you've done everything. And you guys get some magic items. What we get?

You guys get a beautiful robe. Ooh, is it tressum-sized? No, this robe is patchwork. It's beautifully made, but it features a patchwork of imagery. And as you hold it out, Quinn starts explaining it. its use, he tells you that when you peel these patches that are illustrative of their function, when you peel the patches off of the cloak as an action in combat, as it were, or otherwise, the real tangible object comes into being in your hands. And there is a whole assortment of patches,

things like money, a rowboat, a window, healing potions. You turn the, you turn the cloak over in your hands and you are in awe of its splendor there's a strange little backpack as well it's like the size of a medium-sized book perhaps and it's got these multicolored straps attached to it and as he passes it across the fire to one of you quinn taps it with one of his indexed fingers and he says this this is something a balloon pack Have you ever seen the skies? Yes, we have actually. But... Well...

Go on. You can do it more! Very good. This balloon pack is kind of like a hot air balloon for one. You mean, without the assistance of a giant? In a cloud? No giant needed, my friend. Wow.

And finally, he opens his palm to reveal a gold ring. I've not used this before, but it will likely come in handy. I am told it will protect your mind. Wow. And he hands it to one of you. This is all very helpful. I mean, the ring sounds super cool, but I'm open. The robe sounds super cool to me.

The rope seems so up your alley. It does seem up my alley. Like literally, besides the fact that I'm playing a quirky character, Tabaxis love weird and random objects. Kralath hates heights. I hate heights. The part of me that has the, you can, like, feather fall and balloon, just to like practice jumping off stuff so that you're not.

Oh, that's true. Like, there's some part of that that's kind of cute to be like, don't worry, Krayla. You've always got your balloon pack. You're going to be okay. That's true. So the ring is going to go to Jack. I would like the robe. And then there's the balloon pack that we think could go well with Kralov.

But if you're not sold on it, I'll just put it in the bag of holding for now. And we can figure it out later. Yeah. Thank you so much for this. I promise that these will help us on our way. And hopefully we can get answers from the dwarves that... threw you out of your home. I'm very eager

to meet them and find out what's going through their minds and who's leading them. Because this is ridiculous. You know, we need to change what's going on here. I agree. Well, I think we can make some quick time and head towards there tonight.

Thera bids you all a fond farewell as she catches up with Quinn and helps along some of the smaller and more frail refugees and they get smaller and smaller as they fade into the distance and you continue to make tracks. That night at camp, you're about, you would estimate maybe six hours travel away from Jalanthar.

So you can make it there. If you start early in the morning, you can make it there around noon. Jack, you receive a letter. Ooh. A carrier pigeon falls at your feet, exhausted, falls out of the sky. ought to be a better way.

Hey, hey, hey. Hello, friend. And it drops a little scroll tube at your feet. I'll make sure the pigeon gets a little water and a little bit of sustenance and then open the scroll tube and see what we got. I'm holding my tressum back. Kraloth's tressum. Yeah.

I was going to say looks. Just like holding its tail as it's like pulling forward. I'll maybe if Kieran interceding a little bit. Just that, like, cat territory kind of. The letter reads like this. Dated Octor 11. Jack, my love, I hope you're well. The season has been kind to the copper cup.

So I've been busy, but I miss you every chance I get. We had to change some of our serving staff because there was some drama between the chef and our head bartender. I'll tell you all about it when I get the chance and save the parchment. It's been nice to have Kieran around, and thank you for the company. It does feel a little like you're keeping an eye on me, and you're not really the jealous type, so I hope I haven't done anything wrong to merit your suspicion.

That and you didn't send them with a letter, unless perhaps I somehow misplaced it. With the Feast of the Moon coming up, I was hoping you'd be around watered deep for at least a short visit. Any chance of that? Your heart, Torin. Fuck. Shit.

I fucking with shit and it fucking back. Uh-oh. That's no good. Um, yeah, uh, uh, what's wrong, Jack? You look all perplexed. He stands up. Like, we're in the middle of the camp. I think he, he stands up sort of reading it. And, like, is half trying to, like, pack his stuff to get back to Everland. Is half, like, looking east, just kind of wandering around without a, without a plan for the moment. Oh, whoa, whoa, what's going on? And Red stands up. Yeah, and he's like, hey, hey, bud, what's going on? You look on. And I, like, take the letter and I hand it to Krayloth to read. I'm going to just give the

letter away and try and figure out. What's going on? Crayloth, what does it say? Isn't Kieran right here? That's Kieran. Kieran isn't with Torin. Who is... Doren and I don't understand what's going on. It's a letter from Torin. Just how happy he is that Kieran's there with him. Oh, but Kieran's hit? Oh shit. Yeah. Jack's like pulled up a fantasy version of a map and a calendar and like... And Red will be like, look, Jack, it says here. It says it. It says, it's been a few days that Kieran has been there, that the imp has been there. Now, but hold up. How did Toran send this letter also? It may or may not even be genuine. Right. Somebody could be trying to get us to go to water deep.

Hold on, you're thinking too fast. Just relax. I know when it comes to Torin, your heart is pulled in a strong direction, but let's just take this line by line. Look, if this is true, he says at the very least that it's been nice to have Kieran around, and as you said, it might be. not be a truthful letter. I mean, we're on a very important quest, and, you know, there's been a pact with a pretty unusual character there. I think Torin is probably safe. At least, like, if they're trying to get to me and torture me from afar, well done, I can't imagine who would want to hurt me like that. Jack, isn't it obvious? It's the imp. Tomorrow we're going to get to Jalantar. I think we've got to get there and sort out what the hell these dwarfs are doing.

But then we're still only a day or two away from Everland. Everland has a portal to Waterdeep now. We can get to Waterdeep pretty quick. So I'm going to stay up and write a letter tonight, trying to let Toran know what's up, but try and play it cool. Or does that put him at risk if he knows we know? It would put him at risk. Look, Jack, I think, honestly, if this is meant to just mess with you, then the response should be nothing. If I respond, Torin will get a chance to reply back to me, and then we could at least figure out if he actually sent the letter.

But I won't say anything about Kirin, because I don't want to risk Torin letting slip to the imposter Kirin that something's wrong. But the imp knows, Jack. The minute you send a letter back doesn't matter what you send, the imp will know that its message was received loud and clear. And if it had any intent to hurt Torin, it will at that point. I know it's tough, but I think until we can get back there, which will be in just two days' time, I think you can't respond. It's trying to mess with you.

If you let it mess with you, then it will. And who's to say that the imp won't stop a letter from reaching Torin? Oh, I write magic letters. Right. I know you do, but I'm just saying, like, duh. I know they can turn into different kinds of things, and I know our friend... The pigeon here just delivered this message. I don't want to cast any undue suspicion.

Look, this imp was in our party for weeks, probably, days at the very least. And its only intentions at the end of that time was to drive a wedge between us. There is no reason to think that its motivations have changed. It is here to try to cause mischief and mayhem. I think if you respond, you are giving it exactly what it wants. You're a smart man. And what do you think the imp wanted from this? It wanted you to be worried.

It wanted you to send a message back. It doesn't know that we have the ability to travel there on a flash. I agree. I think we should just go there in person. It would certainly stop any sort of sentence from ending. No part of what you're saying doesn't make sense to me. Craylott's point about this bird is well heard. I don't think it's the bird.

I think that's part of what... Why don't you think it's the bird? What? Because it's just, it doesn't seem like it's M.O. I mean, why would this, why would this imp to turn itself into a bird just to deliver a letter to mess with us? It seems a bit heavy hand. Red did imp whisperer? Oh, I just think, I think when it comes to mischievous backhanded dealings, I feel like I'm well versed in that type of stuff.

Are you now? Hey, now, I wasn't one of the ones that got dup by the thing. I made my choices. Look, regardless, I'm tired. We can't do anything right now. I don't think you should send anything until we go there ourselves. But you're going to do what you think is best, and I respect that, and I support it. You're going to be all right, Jack?

I got to clear my head. I'm going to go for a walk. All right, and Kralov stands up. He's got this little bit of string that he's been playing with. And he picks up the cat and says, So where are we going, Jack? Just a little stroll around. Oh, yeah, I was just trying to...

Oh, you're not going. by yourself, not to be condescending or anything, but there are undead hunt lords that are trying to get your number, and I am not letting them... He's not wrong there. That's actually a good point. You literally said, if they catch you alone, I took those

words to heart, so... All right. Genius, cleric. Yeah, fair and the... Hut doesn't get set up unless I set it up and it goes away if I leave, so I guess if we're... Dora and I think it's already, like, done his tent. He's like, whatever. I'm not way down anybody. And Red is like, got his

shitty tent next to it, too. It's just a blanket over me. You guys are the tent lords. We'll do it old school tonight, Doran. Awesome boys. Slumber party! When I climb into the tent and we sleep. Jack, like, does five real quick paces back and forth. Feels very trapped in a lot of ways and then it's like, fine, let's try and sleep. I'm sorry, Jack. You wake up, it's time. It's the day. Yeah. You pull back your sheet. Torin's head. No, just kidding. Yeah. It's Uctur 16. I put that fancy new ring on. Oh yeah, I'm going to put on my new robe, too. I mean, I already have like a cloak and a robe, so I'm just replacing it.

No, just walking in it. My other one was mundane anyway. Neat. It looks fancy on you. You travel for six hours. The road leading into Jalanthar is decorated with the spoils of war. The massacred heads of two hill giants sit on either side of the road, an axe buried deeply between the eyes of each one, and a broken tankard sits nearby reeking of ale.

The houses of Jalanthar are stone cottages partially buried in the earth and whose rooftops are planted with grass. They're covered partially in snow this time of year. And atop the closest one to the road as you approach, three dwarves lounge, two sitting, one lying down with no boots on. Who are you in? What do you want? I want to know who's in charge here. Who's in charge here?

I flash my soldier's insignia. Ah, cool, yeah. Nice. I love it. So the two dwarves who are sitting upright give you an officer's salute. And the one who's lying down sees his friend's salute and also gives a salute without sitting up. And they just point into the middle of town. They're like, go on in.

You'll stand when you talk to me, soldier. Yeah, yeah. We are giant slayers, knights of old and new. and we recognize no authority but one. I see. So you're not even give your kin the best salute that you could. I understand. You think killing giants is something.

Don't just let it go. Let's go. And these guys are drunk. All right. One of them spits on the ground as you pass, but offers no insult apart from that. I'll speak to you about that later. These so-called knights are lounging around town.

There is a good number of them here. some of them are sleeping off being drunk in the doorways of these hovels others sit on the rooftops of houses seeing how far they can throw dishes gambling about it you see coin exchanging hands there's a couple wrestling over in one of the corners some polishing their weapons cooking and eating there seems to be just no order among them really they're bored tense looking for a fight and you tracked a lot of attention moving through town but none of them move to intercept you just yet. I guess I lead the four of us. Yeah. Keep confident, will you? As we walk through this town. Is there a rank we should address you with?

I was an infantry unit officer. It's nothing of strong significance, but it is important, and it's, of course, above the general infantry. Yeah, good job getting us in. Keep it up. There's just one communal type building in this town. It's really nothing to write home about Jalenthar. It's pretty small.

Most of these buildings, like I said, are. kind of sunk in half into the ground and grown over top with grasses. You're not sure whether this is like an eco-friendly village or whether they've like attempted to camouflage their dwellings from the road or what. But there is one low oval stone keep in the heart of this village. It's low walled. So it still keeps kind of a low profile. Two dwarves sit on the ground stripped of their armor playing dice here at this keep.

A third dwarf, well-muscled and naked to the waist, stands on the roof. He's got long red hair plated into four braids. He's bent over, hammering an old shield into the structure. Looks like he's repairing some hole. He stands up to regard you stretching out his back and he removes the nails from his mouth where he was keeping them handy for himself. Greetings. I'm Captain Nergeral Chaos Hammer.

And Doran, you are struck immediately with a flashback of your wartime. Blood pounded in your ears, and adrenaline surged through your veins. You held the handle of your great axe tightly, keeping it steady despite the blood that ran down from the blade, the blood of your enemies. Your battalion took heavy losses in the past half hour, with droves of orcs pressing down heavily on your position in the fog. of the march. You met a snarling creature face on. Its serrated blade screaming down at you and you walk it heavily on your shield. You were so tired of fighting. You spun roughly out from underneath the orc and with one swing you cut one of his legs through entirely at the thigh and then dispatched it as it fell with a backhanded chop, its blood spraying hotly into the sky. There were just too many

of them, and you could hear horns far off, calling more. A guttural hiss heralded your greatest challenge yet, a massive horned lizard plodding toward you, the orchestrated, grinning evilly. You clanged your axe off your shield, resilient, ready to die trying. And the lizard responded by striking out lightning fast, its open maw, a flash of hot scarlet. It took your arm in its needle teeth and shook you like a rag doll, your axe clattered to the ground, 15 feet away in a patch of marsh grass, and you dropped into the mud on your back, staring up at the creature as you started to go into shock. With insane ferocity, the blurred figure of a dwarf leapt into the fray right onto the back of the lizard above you. Riding it like a bull, the dwarf swung a gold warhammer shaped like a pair

of wings, once, twice, cracking open the head of the orc beast master. like a melon, its body slumping weakly off the saddle but caught in the stirrups twitching. The dwarf stood, his shock of red hair coming loose from a quartet of braids and slick from the gore of battle. He drew a dagger then and crawled forward along the thrashing lizard's thick neck, a deadly parasite, and slit the creature's throat, opening up a deluge of blood onto where you lie, clinging to consciousness. The heroic dwarf slid. down off the lizard as it fell, going to your side, then whistling for a medic. He retrieved your axe and lied by your body, and then dashed back off into the fray.

Captain Nergril, Chaos Hammer. A blast from the past! I wonder how Dawn will react. Thanks once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters, Christopher Ryan Evans. Mitchell Cadwell, Colin Burkart, Daniel, Doug, Katie Orrett, and Merlin. See you soon. Geese? Geese, geese, geese, geese, geese for sale! Gis, geese, geese, geese, geese, geese, geese, geese for sale.

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