Dice Shame - 71 | 'Rise to the Bait'

Episode Date: February 18, 2021

Combat begins as the party is beset on all sides by an army... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!?   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Orks! Lots of Orr! Hot damn, Dorr! We're being attacked! Soldier time. Blow some fucking orc up energy. Kraloth, you okay back there? I think I got a health potion on me. Don't ruin a chaos, hammer.

I got you back. Don't quit. We need you. Nurgrel, you need some healing. Bar ball. And I split its skull straight in half. Giving you the real name here, Ork Splitter. Ork Splitter's like, ha ha! Yeah!

Fuck yeah! Welcome back to Dyshame. This is episode 71, Rise to the Bate. MVP this week is Kendra Izzy M for leaving us a wonderful review on Apple Podcasts. If you're enjoying the show, consider doing the same. We're extremely proud to announce that this Valentine's Day we surpassed 50,000 downloads of Dysheem episodes. The fact hasn't fully sunken in for us yet, but we can't believe how much. many of you love our silly little show. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for listening

and joining us on social media. Speaking of which, Invictuscon is back for a second year. Join us March 26 to 28th for this entirely free 100% digital gaming convention, featuring community-run RPGs, informative panels, public gaming servers, artists' alley, social events and more. If you want to run an RPG during the convention, deadline for event submission is this Sunday. Check out our website or social media for all the details. All right, should we do this? Let's get into it. Everyone roll for initiative.

Brad, what'd you get? 14. Jack? 19. Kralov? Four. Doran. 16.

I'm rolling with my new little dragon corp die. Hey! Which I love, by the way, thank you. Hey. Yeah, they're gorgeous. Little dragon corp, I wonder, can you pray for me? Oh, they're really nice. Lovely colors.

Yeah, I can't wait to use mine. So I'm imagining that the four of you are just a little bit north of the Bermen Trench, sort of on the road where you're making your campfire together. You know, maybe 30 or 40 feet from this keep area. And Doran, as you hear this warning horn, you feel something that I don't think you've ever felt before, which is Ork Splitter becoming activated. She starts almost panting. Orcs, there's Orcs. All around.

And as they get to within 120 feet of you, Doran, you become aware of them somehow. You don't know their immediate location, but you can tell. they're closing in from all directions except for the direct south. They're coming in from all of the north, east, north, and the west. These orcs emerge from behind, pumped up hovels out of the gathering gloom of twilight, and they just start running at you. Orcs! Lots of arcs! Krayloth, Red, Jack, as you stand around your campfire, enjoying your stew.

you see these dark shapes far away at first and then running lightning fast most of them move 90 feet right up to you and some of them get within slashing distance you can see them tusks battered armor wicked looking weapons and bloodthirsty eyes two of them climb up on top of the smithy to the west and just start hacking at the two dwarves that were standing up There. A couple more you can hear to the east. Steel meeting steel. There must be battle somewhere else. Kralov. Two of them throw javelins at you with a 14. Miss. And a nine. Misses as well. So two javelins just clatter off your shield. Klan, clang, and just fall to the ground. But they move in. They're coming in hot. One of them standing right beside you, Kralov and Jack. Another one standing beside you, Doran and Red.

What do you do? Jack, it's your turn. Jack sees these orcs running at us. He's got red on one side and Doran on the other, and there's like this wave of five of them coming from the west. And Jack holds out the Spellgaard sphere, which is now wrapped in chains and has the holy symbols of lethander and the tags of the Knights of the Eternal Order on it.

And just from that blossoms, this huge explosion of fire that sort of catches this wave coming from the western front. and he sort of turns to door and you got these ones do i there's one right in front of me that that i ignored and i'm hoping it's because orc splitters i'm standing beside them and i'm fearless right now because orcs clitters's pulling me with like blow some fucking orc up energy of course jack you're looking for 15 one uh two saves so 32 for the fails and 16 for the saves great they all die oh wow explosion of flames from the western front i take a little pressure off craylock Much better.

The flames just lick at Kralov's side, and then as they subside, there are just five charred corpses smoldering on the ground. Nice. Also, the building that was just to your west, that's gone now. The one with the children in it? Kieran, do you want to do a fly-around? Just make sure we've got a good count on all of them? Sure, boss. They take to the air and fly around.

Looks like there's some attacking to the east, and roll perception for them. I would love to. 23 perception from Kieran who's flying around. Kieran also sees two giants on the approach that you don't see yet. Oh, what kind of giants? There's a hill giant to the north, and there's a hill giant to the northeast, and they're about 100 feet out. Two giants, and I'll shout the directions to him.

Right. Doran, it's your turn. You have a orc breathing down your neck. You are flanked by your friends, Kralath, and Jack. well and this fireball erupts beside you what do you do so i'll tack the one that's right up next to red and in front of jack yeah just kind of to your right and ahead of you not directly in front of you yep so that's like a 28 to hit i should say so and then and then an 18 damage oh great you kill it immediately you just hack it i imagine your axe just cleaves right

through kind of its trapezoid muscle through its rib cage and then exits out, part of its lung just like, bleh, attached to your axe. Hot damn, Doran. It's almost caught on the axe, his lung, so I like pull the axe out and like his lung comes out with it.

Big hunk a lung. Hot damn Doran. And then I attack the one that's directly in front of me. Yep. With a 19 to hit. Oh, fuck yeah. Yes, that hits. Nice. Doing 10. Yeah, you deal a massive grievous injury to the orc directly in front of you.

I take a good chunk of his thigh out. Yeah, Doran, you turn into this whirlwind of an axe and you can hear above the melee orc splitter just cackling and glee. We'll butcher them right here in front of us, Ork Splitter. Can I just look back and see where Captain Nergerl was? Yeah, Captain Nergerl is to your right to the east, maybe about 30 feet. Look at me, Dad. Whether he sees them or not, Doran hollers out that there are giants approaching from the east and the north.

Okay. Red, it's your turn. What do you do? Red turns to Doran. Thanks, Doran, for killing the one in front of me. And this orc just dies in front of him. Red is going to use his feline agility to move 90 feet backwards to the south and try to get on the roof where those prisoners were. Prisoners, they're volunteers.

Well, the bait. They look pretty tied up to me. They're not tied up, but they are being guarded. They're volunteer bait. And as I climb up, do they look scared? I mean, what's their vibe? They're unarmed, and they are looking a little bit panicked. One of them turns the other one and's like,

it's okay. The wizard made a wall. We'll be safe, right? We'll be safe. This is part of the plan. Don't worry. I got this bastard. And Red pulls at his bow,

and I'm going to aim for one of the giants to the north. You said they're about 100 feet away? Yeah, about that. I'll focus down the giants. you deal with the orcs and I'll attack the one to the north I'm going to use this with my sharp shooter penalty that was a natural one

oh come on and a natural 20 oh thank goodness no joke and the natural 20 was on the red die nice coming for dice uh fucking awesome so I'm going to roll double my damage it's phenomenal it rolled a 7 when I did my

initiative I think I'm just it's rolling really well 42 damage Wow And Red looks over his shoulder To chaos hammer He is actually down below you About 40 feet away Directly between you and the giant

So this arrow sails over his head Well over his head And he's watching What does the first hit do on the giant Because that's a massive hit You tell me The arrow Whomps into his like chest

And you hear the hill giant Bellow out Even from this distance, you hear a meaty thump as the arrow connects. And I'm going to attack again. Nice. Also with sharpshooter penalty. Got this. An 11.

And the natural 20. Oh, my God. On the other die, the one that rolled a one. The little dragon corpse die. The little dragon corp die. Ladies and gentlemen. Red-handed Robin. Check the balance.

24 damage. Not bad. Second arrow lands very close to the first arrow. It drives it in further. And like perfectly hits the tail of the first one. It just, they both go into the same hole. Fucking hey. But he's still standing.

Chaos Hammer acts now in the initiative. He sort of turns in a full circle and he says, Knights of the Mithril Shield. Now is your time. And then Joe shreds her voice to add a plus two. So, yeah, every night or any friendly PC within 30 feet of Chaos Hammer is going to get a bonus to their saves and attack rolls for a minute. Nice. Yeah, so he calls on them and on their bravery and instills leadership qualities, Doren.

Huh? He has a mechanic for it, Doren. It is at this time, Jack. that Kieran informs you that there are two more giants apart from the ones that they saw. Ooh. Two more giants coming from the west.

Red, you got eyes on him? Of course I do. What? He's 50 feet away from Jack. And Jack didn't see it before Kieran did. I don't see a giant. It's like 50 feet away. Whoa!

Don't worry about the orcs around us. I'll focus on them. Kralath, as one of these giants, starts running at you from the periphery of the village. It picks up a giant chunk of rock and throws it at you. That's 26 to hit you. That'll hit. 25 bludgeoning damage.

Oh. Oh, wow. That's why you shouldn't roll a four on your initiative. Another giant, the one that's approaching from the north that Red had plugged with some arrows, throws a rock at Captain Chaos Hammer. Ooh, natural one. Oh, nice. Does he do the thing that that squishy-faced orc in Lord of the Rings does, where it's coming, it's coming, and it's coming, the last minute he just steps aside?

Absolutely. He does exactly that. And then he spits on the rock. And the easternmost giant picks up a rock and throws it squarely at one of the knights that's standing on the hilltop being attacked by an orc already. His attention is divided. and hits, deals 21 damage. Oh, boy. And the final giant launches a boulder up and over the wall at the night just to your left, red,

that's standing on the top of the keep with you. Holy crap. That's going to miss. But the boulder collides with the side of the keep and just rumbles. The whole building is not terribly stable, and it feels like a couple more attacks like that could have it in rubble at your feet. Krayloth, what do you do?

You just get slammed with this boulder. I turned a door and I say, we got to take out these giants. Let the dwarves handle the orcs. And Kraloth swings his mace at the orc that's right in front of him. Oh, with a 10. Oh, come on. Yeah, that misses.

And then he's going to cast sanctuary on himself. Then he's going to move away. Okay, it's going to take an attack of opportunity against you. Okay, roll a wisdom safe. 12. That's a fail. So Kralath is going to run back behind this grass cover dwellings just to give himself a bit of space because he took a lot of damage just there. Great.

So you take some cover behind one of these hovels. It's the dwarf's turns. So they're all kind of rallying around their leader, Captain Nurgul Chaos Hammer. Two of the northernmost dwarves, the ones that are atop one of these grass hovels, load their heavy crossbows with bolts and fire at the giant that red had hit, the one that's the northernmost giant. Unfortunately, they both miss their attacks. Damn.

Yeah, unfortunate indeed. There's a dwarf that's standing at the base of the keep on the road, It's going to just run up to one of the orcs that is kind of, it's like 10 feet away from Jack. And this, this dwarf is just going to pull out his great axe and slash at the orc. He takes a hefty chop at it, easily hitting him, deals nine slashing damage, too. Beautiful. Another night closes in, moves to the northeast, kneels within within this boon that came. Aos hammer had created, loads a bolt into the crossbow and fires it at one of the orcs

who's just running at him in the darkness. We're being attacked. Zog, zag, zog. Zog. What you want to keep? Dabu. And misses, they're not great with crossbows. I'll swing the hammer at you.

To the east, there are two knights who are fighting these orcs. one of them's taken quite a bit of damage, but he fights bravely on. They both wield their great axes. And both of them hit another nine points of damage to one of these orcs. And then to the west, the other two knights that are atop this building

that have two orcs nearby. They're each going to swing their battle axes, and they both miss. Damn it. Kralath, you had run past a dwarf who was also crouching at the base of this hillock and as you take cover you see

him run and take your place beside Doran he swings his axe at this orc oh yeah hits him easily and dispatches him so Doran chops him and the other dwarf takes him down and then he turns to you Doran

and just grins wildly through bloodied teeth the final two dwarves that have not yet acted are the ones on either side of red atop the keep. So the last two guys are standing next to you, Red, and they're going to fire down at the hill giants, unfortunately, with disadvantage. Can I jump in and tell them? Can I, like, take charge? Be like, no, hit those or something like that.

Yeah, of course. No, fire out those orcs. They're getting flooded on your friends, and I point to the west. You watch as these knights start to load bolts into their crossbows to fire the giants, and then roll persuasion. Happily. I mean, can I roll with advantage because they just saw me hit? a giant for like half its health. Sure.

I feel like if an archer comes up and is better at archery, 22. Cool. Because I feel like if they free up those dwarves, then more dwarfs can attack the giant. Unfortunately, both of those bolts, they swing their crossbows to fire at the orcs that are attacking their brethren to the west. But both of the bolts fly wide. Top of the round. So in the first round of battle, we see all of the.

of these orcs come from literal nowhere just popping up out of the ground. We see all these hordes of orcs just tides of creatures charging in from all directions to attack the town of Jalanthar. A couple of them try to attack Eukralov with

javelins, but they're rebuffed. Then Jack blows up Fivalum handily with a fireball. Doren cleaves one knave to chops. Then Red climbs a building does some serious damage to a giant Chaos Hammer rallies his troops who attack the orcs largely and then the giants start to come in, throwing boulders.

It's the orcs turns again. It's the top of the round. So there are two orcs that are on the ground running in the west. One of them gets all the way up to the knight that joined you, Doren. The second one comes in and flanks that same night. And then both of them attack this dwarf with their great axes as you stand idly by, Doran. Idly? Natural one. Nice.

And 19, which will hit. So it deals five slashing damage. The two orcs that are fighting with the two knights on top of the building to the west attack with their great axes. One hit and one misses. The one that hits, it deals 12 damage. Oof. Yikes. One of the orcs gets all the way up to Captain Chaos Hammer, and its companion orc running alongside it attacks nearby night,

both of them swinging their great axe. And at this time, Captain Chaos Hammer just starts laughing loudly in the heat of battle. Nice. Both of them hit. Chaos Hammer takes 12 points of damage And his fellow knight of the mithril shield Takes 13 damage Wonderful

The final two orcs that are remaining on the map Are the ones standing on the Havel to the east They attack the knights that are defending in that position One hits For seven damage Jack, it's your turn The chaos of battle has truly erupted Yeah, hearing Chaos Hammer, you know, shout trying to be a beacon of light, there's something that changes inside of Jack.

He wants to sort of impress the dwarves and sort of show them that the Nightstone Four are a force to be reckoned with. He pulls out this Spell Guard sphere wrapped in these chains and it starts to glow. And as it glows, Jack starts to glow and the sphere and Jack merge into one. And Jack grows three sizes that day until he is a giant, glowing beacon of Lathander's holy light shaped out of crystal in the, form of a man's towering tall. He picks up the two orcs that Doran had felled behind him and shakes him in the air, big fists ready to launch them at giants at the first opportunity and starts maybe lumbering in that direction, bellowing out.

Cool. I love that. Awesome. What spell are you using? I polymorphed myself into a giant ape that just glows like lithander. Awesome. Great. Awesome.

My HP is now 157. Fucking A. All right. 157. You want to pick up these orcs? The orcs that Doran killed. Oh, yeah. You can totally pick up some gore.

Gork. Well, my intention was to throw them like rocks next turn. Yeah, you can pick those up for sure. Cool. Except for the one that's slashed knave to chin. Well, that's half an orc. It's falling apart. It's like throwing a split hot dog at somebody.

Yes, exactly. Great. You know, when you throw split hot dogs. Which we've all done. Yeah, I mean. Jack, you become bigger than you've ever been. before, and it feels great. It's true.

You got handsful, oozing, bloody carcasses. Next up, Doran. You see this happen. Doran. Then watches as these two orcs approach from the west, and they swing, and one of them attacks the dwarf that's standing next to me, and Jack grows two sizes, too big. And then Doran wields his massive great axe, orc splitter, and brings it down upon the, hopefully brings it down upon

the orc that's standing to the south of him. Perfect. Roll to hit. That's going to be a 24 to hit. Absolutely. How much damage? Doing 11 points of damage. And then same thing again. Same orc. Oh, shit.

10 to hit. You miss. Do you want to do anything else? No. All right. Red, it's your turn. Red is going to continue plugging away at that giant. Does he look bloodied? Roll perception. With a 16.

He seems very injured, but not one foot in the grave quite yet. So yeah, I'm going to attack him again. No, that's only going to be a 9. Mm-mm, you miss. I will attack again. The arrow ricochets off a piece of hide that he has on his loin cloth. It's a gross word, loincloth. And that will be a 19 to hit.

Yes, you hit. Groin cloth. 30 damage. Nice. I turn down to Kralath, who's just 30 feet away from me. And I say, are we getting overwhelmed? Uh, Krayloth says, as he's got, like, his face is, like, smashed in a bit. Hard for me to say, uh, well, I could summon the tree creatures that Turlag gave us.

Oh. Yeah. Remember? Because, but that's a one-time use. I may have been hit, but I think I'm the only one besides a few dwarves. I think we got this. All right. Nobody's gone down yet.

All right, buddy. Any sort of nods. Dorn kind of looks around and he sees, you know, kind of what's going on. And now there's a disconnect between him and the other dwarves. And now he's back into this connection between you three. You know, and he looks at Kraloth and he says, Kralath, you okay back there? I'm doing fine.

I think I got a health potion on me. Beautiful. It's Captain Chaos Hammer's turn. He wields his warhammer and raises it. high over his head. Ha ha ha ha die, orc. Yep, that's a 19 to hit. Nice.

13 bludgeoning damage. So he crashes this Warhammer into the orc's rib cage and the orc just staggers back a little bit clutching at his side and Chaoshammer advances a step and swings again, merciless. I said die! Hits again. Oh, yeah. just knocks this orc's head right off with his second attack. Nice.

Kills it. And then he advances on the orc next to him, attacking one of his brethren. You too! Laughing all the while. Cool. What's you got to do? He rolled kind of. Slice and dice.

That is exactly a hit. Nice. Oh, heck yeah. Beautiful. 10 damage. Captain Nurrel Chaos Hammer. or single-handedly murders this orc in two hits and then advances to the east and helps out his friend.

Next up, the hill giants turns. So there are four hill giants on the outsides of town. One is kind of like at a 12 o'clock, there's a 2 o'clock, 7 o'clock and a 10 o'clock giant. One advances 40 feet towards Jack, picks up another boulder, and throws it straight at. Adam. Let's do it. Oh, my God. 25 to hit you, Jack. That will hit me, yeah.

20 bludgeoning damage. Ow! Ouch. Make a concentration check. 22. All right, you're fine. Yep. Next, another hill giant moves up from the southwest.

Oh, my God. Until it's adjacent to the building, atop which there are two knights battling two orcs. He picks up a rock in his head. hand and just smashes it down at one of these nights. No, he just misses. It's too close. The knight just ducks and the rock rolls almost right off of his back and shatters into pieces

on the other side of the building. Then the hill giant that red has been steadily attacking advances on where chaos hammer and his knight are standing. The giant picks up a boulder. and throws it at Captain Chaos Hammer. That's going to hit with a 27. Oh, my God. 25 damage.

Damn. And it takes him straight in the chest. Oh, my gosh. The final hell giant advances towards the city. It's the one that's the farthest east. It seems to be looking at you, Red. It picks up a boulder and throws. Rout, Ra, Ra.

14 to hit you? It misses. It misses you. Again, shaking the foundations of this keep. It looks like maybe the building will survive one more hit before it crumbles. Krayloff, it's your turn. Krayloth is going to cast Spirit Guardians on himself as a level four. And then he's going to run forward in between so that all of these orcs on their turn are going to potentially take some damage.

Nice. Heck yeah. Good call. Yeah, because you can select which creature's not to target, right? Exactly. Kralath, you cast Spirit Guardian on yourself, and you are surrounded by spirits that protect you. Their spectral form surrounds you and protects you.

Yeah. They are my old unit, and they're like wisps. Shadows of light, maybe. They like wisp in, and every now and then, they mostly just look like wisp, but every now and then you can see a face. And they duck into the ground and sometimes they'll come out of another person and just swipe at the enemies surrounding them.

Cool. So it's the dwarfs turns. The two that are on the rooftop are going to disengage and they hop down and retreat slightly in a tactical formation, as do the dwarves that are on the rooftop to the west. So they disengage from the orcs that were fighting them and move. back slightly the two that are to the west take cover behind this wall that was built by jack to gain some assistance to get a reprieve from the giant that is attacking them the one that is on the wall to the south seeing that there are no more opponents advancing from

the south is going to hop down and dash to try to make it somewhere useful and is going to take cover then behind this hovel just outside of the wall that Jack built the wall that Jack built there's one knight that is standing shoulder to shoulder with captain chaos hammer and he takes a swing with his battle axe at the orc that they share between them and misses unfortunately the two that are standing atop the hovel on which the hill giant that red was hitting is approaching so many modifiers they both fucking beef it with their crossbows come on yeah not crossbow boys there are two knights that are standing amidst crayloth and dorin surrounded by orcs the one to the east is going to attack he hits with oh kills him exactly six days hey the knight beside dorin who is fending off

Two orcs, almost single-handedly. Almost. Almost. So not single-handedly at all. It's the opposite. I'm standing there. 11. Kills that ork.

Squick. Excellent. This is one orc remaining between the four of you allies. Two knights, Kralath, and Doran. Yes. It's the orcs turns. This orc that is standing in the midst of these spectral allies needs to to make a wisdom save, rolls a six.

And it fails, and he's gonna take 15 damage. Oh, that's a good number. Kills him, splat! Nice. So your spectral allies just phasing in and out of existence, attack him, slicing him over and over four times with their broadswords, and your allies take him to the ground.

One stands over him, just these wisps of spectral energy, and just drives it soared directly into the felled orc's throat and then vanishes. Good job, nice. There is one orc that is menacing Captain Chaos Hammer. It breathing heavily through bloodied tusks swings his great axe at him. That hits with a 24. 13 slashing damage leaves a heavy wound in Chaoshammer's bicep who fights on.

Two more orcs gleefully jump down. These are the ones in the east and pursue the knights of the mithril shield who are tactically retreating, attacking them now on the ground. One misses as it stumbles falling heavily off of this mound, and the other one misses, both of them sort of collapse in a heap. And the final two orcs, again, are chasing these knights down around the corner of... The wall that Jackbilt. Around the corner of the wall that Jack built. T.M. Both of them missing.

Hey. See, tactical retreat. This is what I'm saying. Okay, excellent. Jack. No, they're luring them to where they want. They're luring them. Jack, it's your turn.

What do you do? Jack howls this wonderful chorus of voices out of his throat and tosses the two dead orc bodies from his fists under the ground and approaches the giant just west of him, throwing these heavy crystal glowing fists at him. I'm going to use inspiration because I want to mess this guy up. Fuck you. Oh, yeah.

Do it, Jack. Hey, oh, that's a 20. Holy balls. There's some math involved here. Holy balls, there is. 51 damage as these two beautiful crystal fist glowing with radiant light land, one after the other, bashing this thing in the face. Nice.

Nice. That's just the first fist. So you take this, you hit this giant square in the face. and his nose begins to just pour with blood. 27? Oh, yeah, that hits. For another 23 damage with the second fist. Perfect.

Nice. And you had to move up in melee. I did have to move five feet, so I'm 10 feet away from this thing. Okay, that happens. Jack starts to fist fight with a hill giant. That's great. Doren, what do you do? Doren's like, been there.

Actually, been there is right. Doran's going there, and if Jack gets hit, it's going to be difficult to. I mean, as far as this spell goes, for the damage I've done and the hit points I've absorbed, I got a fourth level spell worth it. It's already worth it. I don't feel bad. I've 8, 20 hit points that are free and I've done 70 damage. That's a fourth level spell.

Great. I'm happy. You're great. Oh, yeah. It's already earned its keep. So anything beyond this point where I get to eat one more hit and lose it or I get to, we're paying for itself. Talking about Jack, like he's a used car. Slaps roof.

This baby can kill so many giants. All right, Doran, you run over to Jack where he's fighting this giant. You know what? I'm actually not going to. I take that back. I'm not going to join Jack. I'm going to come up behind these orcs that were running kind of south in towards the keep. And I'm going to intercept the giant that's kind of coming around the corner of this building and around this wall.

Doran, it's your time. That song gets stuck in my head way more than I like to do. Me too. me too That's a good sound That's where I'm gonna move

And then I'm gonna use my action surge Fuck yeah you do Yeah you do You dash and you attack twice Yeah Soldier time 15 to hit

Perfect How much damage Oh I'm doing full damage Nice 18 damage to the first Fuck yeah You kill that or Nice

You want to move up And attack the next one Yeah So you fell the orc in front of you And then you take a Five foot step On top of its corpse And you attack

The one that's Right beside Yeah, I fell the orc and I step on top of its body and using a bit of a leap, I come down on the second orc with a 24 to hit. Yes. Doing 16 damage. Fuck, you kill that other orc too, darling. I split its skull straight in half. Giving you the real name here, orc splitter.

Ork splitter's like, ha ha! Yeah! Fuck yeah! So happy. Good turn. Just bathed in blood. I was like done, Doris. The two knights of the Mithril shield that you protected turn to you and they give a rousing cry.

And Doren doesn't think much of it. He just hollers back. Awesome. All right, Red, what do you do? You see Doren just fucking clean house over here. Yeah, buddy! Red hops down from the roof and I'm going to run about 25 feet forward using half my movement, or rather one of my movements. And then I'm going to cast fairy fire on the giant to the north that I have been trying to hit.

So you climb down from the keep and then scramble up on top of the roof of this nearby house to get just a little closer. Correct. Because it's 60 feet away. I'm going to cast fairy fire and he is going to need to save against a DC of 12 for dexterity. Dex save. Let's see. They're not the most dexterous sons of each. That's a 12th.

All right. Oh, whatever. And then Red is going to finish his move. and I'm going to pull back to just beside the wall that Jack built. So you scramble back down off of the hovel and take shelter in the shadow of the wall. Just a little bit. That's my full feline agility, which reset because I didn't move the other turn. And then with my left flank covered completely by this wall, I will have full cover from the approaching giant to the east.

And I'm going to attack one more time at this giant to the north. Cool. The one that's coming up on Chaos Hammer. Yeah. 14 to hit? Yep. Nice. 23 damage.

Wonderful. All right. And now I will attack again. 15 to hit. You hit him. 23 damage. And as Captain Chaos Hammer takes a step towards the giant with this golden warhammer in his hands just to meet this giant head on, this arrow sings over his shoulder and just guts the giant in front of him. And the giant like takes a knee and then fall.

He falls heavily on his face right in front of the captain. Don't worry Chaos Hammer. I got you back. Chaos Hammer turns around, lifts his hammer, and goes, and then spins and attacks the orc right beside him. We got this. Yeah, we do. Oh, yeah.

Way, way kills him. So far. Turns, looks in both directions for his next target, sees the giant approaching from the east, and runs to meet him. doesn't really have a lot of movement to play with as he's a dwarf, but he's going for it anyway. Good. All right, it's the Hill Giants' turn.

Luckily you already killed one of them. The one beside you, Jack, picks up his great club and tries to hit you twice. Cool. Misses. Hits you with 17? 17 will hit. 21 bludging damage.

Roll your con save. I rolled a 14 plus 4 is 18. Yeah, you're fine. Beautiful. So, Kralov's turn. So Kralov is going to run forward, and he's going to use a spell called command. Ooh. Speak a one word command to a creature you can see within range.

The target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or follow the command on its next turn. And I'm going to use halt. The target doesn't move and takes no actions. So Krayloff runs forward, gets within range of this giant that's close to. Nurgril and he's going to shout as his spirit guardians whisper around him and the giant has to do a wisdom save. All right. Here we go guys. Let's do it.

Kill the giant. Two. Nice. Nice. So he will not take any actions on its next turn. Okay. Noted. Cool. Nice. So these dwarves act now. The ones that Doran protected are emboldened by him. And they round the corner back to where this giant is

and they just start swinging at him. Perfect. That was going to be my suggestion to them anyways. Way to go, Dorn. You lead those dwarves. Hit once between the two of them and deal pretty good. 14 slashing damage. Nice. Can Red turn to the two that are on the roof that he already told to fire? And can he yell and be like,

get down there and help your captain. And I point to the one that is attacking Nurgril. So both of them nod at you at your suggestion, and they hop down from the keep and close distance between them. The one that was sharing fighting the orc between him and Captain Chaos Hammer interposes himself between the hill giant and Chaos Hammer to defend his captain and attacks. Wow, maximum damage. Nice.

Deals 15 slashing damage at this giant. There are two more just north of Kralath that hop down from their perch and do the same thing at Red's urging. So these dwarves now are just swarming the hill giant. So they dash over and make a ring around him essentially. Nice. Ring around the giant. All of the dwarves just close on. it. Two dwarves run through your legs, Jack, as they ring around this giant that you are in

melee combat with. Meanwhile, to the east, the two remaining orcs are tied up with two knights of the mithril shield who wield their great axes with one hit, two hits, two natural 19s. Nice. Good. Okay. And both of them are murdered. So both knights kill their orc quarry

and then turn tail and run toward the giant that is attacking their captain. Orc turns. Guess what? There's no more orcs on the board. Bye orcs. Bye orcs. Nice.

That makes this run a lot smoother, you know? Jack, what do you do? Jack bellows a joyous yop to lethander and smashes his fists. into this thing two more times. Do it. 13? That hits.

Oh, fuck you. Nice. Because I rolled a four. So then I hit twice for 17 and 22. Smashing this thing with big crystalline fists with glowing radiant light from the inside. Yeah. Blood blooms underneath the skin of this giant as you impose these terrible internally bleeding injuries. Doren, what do you do?

Doran runs up behind the two dwarves that ran ahead of him and he is going to attack basically this giant at his legs. Cool. So the three of you form this united front against this giant. The Giants United Front. There are three giants remaining. No civilians have been killed. No knights have been killed.

Captain Chaos Hammer is not doing well, but otherwise it looks like you guys could win this thing. Okay, so one hits with a 12? No, misses. The other one's a natural 20. Hey! Critical hit. And max damage of 18.

Nice. Red, it's your turn. You are sidled up against this wall, and you watch as your knight companions heed your call, and they all swarm this giant beside you. Don't give it a fucking quarter. And I'm going to cast fairy fires a bonus action. Dexterity save 12.

It's a wisdom saving throw? No, dexterity saving throw. 11. Ah, nice. It is outlined in radiant red fire, and it just glows. Every attack on it has advantage, and then I am going to attack it twice. Cool. Do it.

13? Yep. Nice. 27 damage. Wow. Nice. Well done. 14.

Yep. 25 damage. Great. Okay. It's Chaos Hammer's turn. He is not one to back down from a fight, and he shoulders his way past the dwarf that was trying to protect him from this giant.

Cool. And he attacks with his warhammer in hand. He has advantage on these hits, correct? Yes, everyone has advantage on these. Excellent. He attacks three times. That's 18 to hit, which does. Nice.

Deals 16 damage. Yes. That's 15 to hit. Nice. And with that hit, his hammer swings wide. knocks out the giant's knees, and as the giant tumbles to the ground, Chaos Hammer stands on his back and buries the hammer deep in the back of this giant's skull. And then, with his remaining movement, he moves around the back of his companions,

intending fully to throw himself into the fray. There are two more giants on the battlefield, both towards the west. and Captain Chaos Hammer says, Come on! This guy's awesome. Yeah, despite the fact that he's at like one-tenth of his hit points. Awesome. Cool.

It's the Hill Giant's turns. Jack, the one beside you is going to continue swinging away with its great club. Let's do it. I'm ready. Do it, coward. That's a natural one. Hey. Bummer.

Very sad about that. I'm going to switch to my little Dragon Corp dice because they treat me well. I'm going to roll. Hey, that's my little. Pretty good. 24 to hit you. A 24 will hit me, yeah. Thank you, dice.

And 19 bludgeoning damage. Perfect. Make a constitution save. I do. I rolled 18 plus 4 is 22. Wow. Great. Beautiful.

The other giant is going to attack you once, Doran, with his great club. Definitely hits you. Oh, with a what? You doubt me? With a 27. Okay. I'd just like to know what you're old. Make me do the math.

23 bludgeoning damage. Okay. And then he's going to try to attack the knight that's to your south, the one that's right beside you up against him. Natural 20. No! It's out of range, too. Okay, so 7, 15, that's 35 damage. Damn.

Yeah. Takes him down. He takes a knee and then stands up. again with great effort. Krayloth, it's your turn. Krayloth is going to defer until after the dwarves. Okay. Kralath, you stand

ready to act as these dwarves make many attacks. A lot of them are just going to run, I think. Right? Doot-de-do, do-do-do-do-do-de-do. It's a dwarf running party. All the doors are running.

They're doing their best. I-ho. da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da unfortunately they do not have red's abilities where they ignore cover but the southern most giant of the two is only being attacked by small creatures so or i guess medium creatures yeah get it right okay don't take that away from dorin you take those kind of comments personally so they pull out their crossbows and they start peppering the giant beside dorin with their bolt And salting them. One, two, three, four, five. Seasoning them. Six of the dwarves fire crossbow bolts. Nice.

Four of them hit of the six. When did these guys become archers? After they got bolstered by me! We want to be more like that cat thing. Dealing 21 damage altogether. Not bad. Nice. Not bad.

Beautiful. And the two dwarf. knights that are attacking the giant that is beside jack both attack with their great axes i rolled two natural twos oh no and the two that are beside doran attack with their great axes and those will both hit hey nice maybe this one's just easier to hit the dice giveth the dice taketh away that's seven damage for the first and ten damage for the second not bad not bad at all. All right.

Kralath, would you like to go? Yeah, Kralov is going to ready in action, and he's going to ready cure wounds for Nurgrel. And he's going to shout, Nurgrel, you need some healing. Come to me. He just nods at you. And then in that case, I'll ready my cure wounds as a level three. Cool.

Jack. Jack continues to bellow out this angelic chorus singing a song to La Thander in this horrible crystal voice and slam into this giant with his big fists. 35 from the first hit. Nice. Damage. Sorry, it's 18 to hit. Uh-huh.

And then I rolled 35. Great. You kill them. You kill them with that first hit. Oh, you know what? So then I wander south and punch the second one with my other fist. I wander south. Just stepping through the wreckage of the fireball that I'd cast that burned down this building.

I take a, you know, a step south with the second fist ready to go. Yes. um 21 to hit yes 29 damage from the second punch to this to the south one yeah as you move up on this giant that's been peppered with crossbow bolts and that dorin is just ready to swing his axe into you wander over and just bludgeon it to death fuck nice with your big hairy fists way to go jack yeah and as the wild bloodlust of battle fades from everyone you're a Rhinelan surging in your ears. Krayloth, Captain Nurgrel, Chaos Hammer, comes to you, bleeding, and he puts his hand on

your arm, and he says, you fought bravely. Now I'll take you up on that healing, if you don't mind. The battle is over, but the war has just begun. Thanks again to our wonderful Patreon supporters, Christopher Ryan Evans, Mitchell Cadwell, Colin Burckhardt, Daniel, Doug, Katie Orrett, and Merlin. See you soon!