Dice Shame - 73 | 'Dig Your Own Grave'

Episode Date: March 3, 2021

The party confronts Chaoshammer and things get messy... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, I know. Fog cloud! This could go really dark. If Chaos Hammer says, no, I'm going to continue to be a terrorist. But it's the heat of battle. These things happen. Oh, it's sexy, though. Get them, Jack.

You're bandits. If you wanted to be soldiers, you must miss the structure. Don't overstep with me. Hear what we have to say. I really don't think this is a good idea. You shouldn't be going. I don't care about your bullshit. Jack, shut up.

I don't know if I'm going to be much help in there. I am not a smart, dwarf. Full stop. Cut that however you like. Welcome back to Dishame. This is episode 73, Dig Your Own Grave. MVP this week is Adam Kodega for his hilarious Twitter response to our episode released the other week showing Ork Splitter's elation at the prospect of murdering some orcs. Thanks, Adam.

Thank you. If it's within your means to do so, please consider supporting us on Patreon. We offer a variety of donor tiers with plenty of benefits for even the lowest dollar amount of support. Just this weekend, we released some behind-the-scenes content for Dyshame, the campaign calendar that I've been keeping since the beginning of the show. Head over to Patreon and take a look for yourself. Thank you so much for your support. All right, should we do this?

Let's do it. So I got some new pens. That I'm really excited about This is the stage in COVID Where we're talking about the pens we've gotten Because no new things have happened I'm particular about my stationery I like to have a specific

The pen has to feel right, you know? Oh yes I 100% know Given that when we started this game I had a little kit that I put That's just got all of the proper stationary For Jack in this thing That's called a pencil case Rob

Wait for Jack or for Rob? No for well I only use it when I'm playing Jack So you tell me. What does it look like? Stationary kit. I mean, it's a little pencil case. It's just got a bunch of pencils that are perfect and the right pens for it.

Of course. Did you guys draw on your pencil case at school? Oh, yeah. Because that was one of the prime areas for doodling for me. It's a pencil case. Are you guys pencil RPG players or pen? Taking notes is something that I've never really been great at. But a pencil, I make a lot of mistakes.

So a pencil's good. I need to erase things. I only use these Sharpie pens. They're like the small stylus. Oh, yeah, yeah. They're the only pen I have. Yeah, you're even pickier than I am. I'm even what?

Who is the first one to evolve into fountain tip pens? I've tried them and I don't like them. See, I used them for calligraphy when I was in high school. I used to work at Staples, and there was like a stationary heaven. A fountain pen that was like a disposable fountain tip pen. And I loved them, but they quit making them. But they were excellent. They were very fun to write with.

I have this blue pen That has someone else's company name on it I just find it really It's a nice favorite one It's a nice writing one I don't give a fuck about a pen No he loves this pen I do actually like this pen But I don't

There are some pens I'm like I can't write with this pen And I throw it across the room And some pens I like I love this pen But I don't I will never go to a store And be like I'm buying a pen Oh interesting Alex is the kind of RPG player who's like it's just a fucking pen guys who needs it uh what's this character's name again who who is this

where are we again what's the name of this how do you spell that who is this where's that what's the magic item my god what's my backpack i need to know what is on your pen though because if it's some random company pen trans pen trans pen island dot com not not anything to do with a pen but it's double ends pen trans what it's a transportation company oh yeah from bolton free advertising and Nice shame. And trans, everybody. All your transportation needs. That'll be $500.

They transport pens mostly. They only pens. It's only pens from Pennsylvania. Transport it wherever you want. It's sort of a vicious circle. We'll cover the brokerage fees. Don't even worry about it. Silly how crummy this pen is, considering that's all they transport.

The only time I will throw a pen is if it's a twisty bottom. I hate twisty bottom. It's got to be clicky top. I like clicky tops. I like cat. but twisties lids lids are good yeah but like

twisties where you write and then and then they slowly start twisting back and like it starts going away it's like oh the ones that I don't like are the ones where you have the four different colors on each side and you have to like use your nail

to pull down I like that one you like that one? Yeah because it's got four different colors so instead of just crowding my pocket protector with different colors I can just have one like pocket protector Oh, the pocket protector is one of the most important things at my work that everyone has.

With your calculator and your glasses and, yeah. I'm not only thinking of cliche nerd things, but I know you're a scientist, so it sort of undercuts my point. I need it. The worst part of your morning is when you lean over to get something and your pocket protector spills all of your pens and pencils and scissors. A common problem that we all fade. You need it. Oh, no, my pocket protector. Shut up.

Has this ever happened to you? My pocket is no longer protected. It gives my pocket an AC of 21. Joe's like one of those black and white infomercial clips where the woman bends over and everything comes falling out of the pockets. That's actually my life. And she's like, and then she just deadpans the camera like, oh, ha, ha, ha. I'm trying to make a sandwich and I end up with half of it all over. All right, you guys want to play some D&D?

Yeah! Yay! So you boys are off to have a serious. talk with Captain Nurgrel Chaos Hammer after just having decided where you all stand morally, ethically, spiritually. Physically?

Undeniably and reliably dead. So what do you want to do? I suppose we hit the Chaos Hammer. Yeah. You guys ask around maybe until someone's able to tell you where to find him. Yeah. Well, we met him in the Keep at first. So yeah, we try for the Keep first. Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

I feel like it's a solemn walk too. Yeah. It's quiet. We're still not sure exactly what the right move is. I think we're excited and nervous. Chaos Hammer is an imposing figure. This could go really dark. If Chaos Hammer says, no, I'm going to continue to be a terrorist. We can't let that happen.

Well, Jack can't. We'll stand in the back. Get them, Jack. Do one of your fiery things. Just push them forward. When you guys arrive at the keep in the center of town, there's a bunch of sleeping dudes, kind of sleeping off a drunk from the night before.

A couple of them are wound in some bandages, but most of them are just kind of passed out. Yeah, we step over him. Yeah. No chaos hammer. Yeah, I mean, let's kick one of them awake, probably. He's like, ugh, what?

Who is this? Do I recognize them? Yeah, it's the one who was trying to cheat at dice with you. The jerk. Oh, and, you know, Red's a bit put off, and he's like, where's Chaos Hammer? How should I know? I'm sleeping. And Red like bends down.

You're a soldier, aren't you? Where would he be? Outside. I don't know. Fine. And I climb up on the roof. I have great vision. I'm observant.

So I'll take a look around and see if I can't spot him in the... Roll perception. Oh, what time is it? Anyways. Two hours after dawn. 9.30, exactly. 23.

Reg, you see that there's a trail of the captain's discarded armor and weapons that leads to a stark pile of fresh dirt on the snow about 100 yards to the northeast of the town. Like he's stripped his armor? Yeah, he's taking his armor off, or someone has. Weird.

Yeah, and I hop down and I say, his arm has been stripped. This way. And I head. Yeah, follow suit. As you approach this discarded armor and this pile of dirt, you hear a grunt, and then there's a fresh spray of earth up into the air. You notice that there's like a shoulder deep hole, and he's been, like, digging. He peers up at you out of this hole.

He's stripped to the waist. again, almost naked, covered in a slick of sweat, and he's got this big shovel, and he's just busy digging this big hole. Ground is frozen. I feel like Doran's a little bit wide-eyed and bewildered, like has this guy lost his mind? Is everything all right, Captain? Do you need help? Not right now. I'm just busy. What do you want? We want a moment of your time to speak. What are you digging for? Chaos Hammer? We don't have the advantages of the Citadel's defenses here in Jalanthar, so it makes sense to take care of that ourselves. Well, uh, right.

Yeah. Yeah. Can we pull your area for a second? And I reach a hand down to offer him a hand out. He bats your hand away and he keeps digging. He's like, I'm listening. And I sort of nervously look to Doran. Uh.

Doran pulls his, uh, water pouch off his side and he hands it to Chaos Hammer and he says, Chaos Hammer. It would be, uh, truly appreciated if you would give us, uh, some of your attention for, for just a moment. Yeah, so he'll take your water skin and he takes a brief mouthful and then sprays some of it all over his face and then shakes like a dog. And you guys are all sort of splattered in dirt, dirty water, clods of earth. And he hands it back to you and then sort of does like a, you know those cool hoists when someone's like getting out of a... Oh, parkour. Yeah.

When someone's getting out of a pool, but like not sexy, he just does it like real strong. Oh, it's sexy, though. I mean, can't it not be sexy? This guy can't help it. He's got long red hair. He's like spinning his hair around the water dripping beads off. Anyway, he gets out of the hole and it's awesome somehow because he's a captain. And then he's just like leaning on this shovel.

He's sort of breathing a little bit heavy, but he's surveying the ground around him anyway. So what is it? Captain, there's a tear within the Dwarven Kingdom. Why have you left Citadel Adbar? When we arrived, you mentioned that the king would be happy to have you sit on your hands rather than do something. What exactly happened? Citadel Adbar has stood in the cold of the ice mountains for almost 18 centuries. It's a vast fortress.

He looks off into the distance at the mountains. I miss it. But, as you say, I couldn't stand idly by. the Dragon Wars, and he looks at you, Doran. They're severely depleted the populations of the dwarves in all the citadels, to such a degree that most of the other races failed to even fully realize how many of our brethren were slain and cut down. Aye.

King Harbram led his knights into a fierce battle against the Ork hordes invading from the silver marches, where he and his soldiers fell in vast and terrible. numbers, and his throne was inherited by his son, Harneth. You remember this, Dorn? You were there? I do. It was terrible for our people to lose so many. But I think it's for that reason that the north is free right now. We survived. But the battles winnowed the number of troops, of citizens such that the halls of Citadel Adbar stand cold and quiet now. The king is reticent to lend his armies to fight this new threat, these giants.

He would have me sit in the citadel with the rest of the knights of the mithril shield and with the iron guard and defend its battlements. Time after time, I would come to King Harnoff and plea for him to send out the knights of the Mithril. shield to eliminate this giant threat and the king said no he stands by that decision well how do you know he stands by that decision still because he told me so yes but how long ago months weeks years months months ago the king declared me an outcast i'm no longer welcome at the citadel he declared you an outcast because you did something that you felt was right a feeling that we each can sympathize with you took it upon yourself to do something when no one else would. However, the problem is different now.

As you said yourself, you've killed dozens in that short amount of time. The king can no longer deny the threat to the north. And furthermore, without having a unified force, the dwarven people will surely continue to splinter. The king must see this. Have you considered how this would reflect on the dwarven kind? There's an important point being made here. Evelyn is viewing the actions that your rogue group is taking unifying under one banner at the very least

will allow you to tackle all of these problems together I'm sure the king will see reason especially if we decide to support that we have some clout at this time perhaps we can use that to our advantage

to talk to the king and he's like thoughtfully rock-busting with his shovel he's like using the point of it to chip off big pieces of rock from this stone that's kind of at his feet just takes a minute to just hack this stone to pieces you must miss it you must miss a sense of being home you're wrong i don't feel a longing to return i know that this is my duty whether the king can see it or not he's bullheaded stubborn even for a dwarf and if you can

sway his mind into supporting myself and the knights of the mithril shield, then, well, maybe I would consider it. I don't think he'll support bandits. He might support soldiers, but I don't think he'd support bandits. What did you call me? Look at what you're doing. This hole is a perfect metaphor. You're off on your own digging a hole.

We built a whole wall yesterday, and here you are. Your soldiers aren't even helping you. They're off sleeping their drunk asses off in town over there because you can't even get them behind you because you're bandits. If you wanted to be soldiers, you must miss the structure of fighting a campaign that you can win, of having a plan and a strategy and attack. Of course I miss it. Of course I miss it. It's been a long time since I've felt respected. What is a dwarf to do in the face of this evil? I'm doing what I know. But you don't have to do it alone.

And he just stands there. Doreen kind of takes a deep breath and stares off into the morning light. takes a deep breath and looks back into Chaos Hammer's eyes and he says, I am not a smart dwarf. Full stop. I am not a smart dwarf.

Barovia. Anyway, so there's another thing that we want to... I am not a smart dwarf, but I am a caring dwarf. And I've learned a lot from these people. I also know that I can't see any more death of our kind Chaos Hammer

take our help hear what we have to say we're not against you you don't have the support of your king you don't have the support of the people of this land you have taken what is not yours under some guise of justice you need to seriously think

about what you're doing and how it reflects not just you but the dwarves everything you do without the support of your king is as a bandit, as as as an outlaw, is as an outcast. Work with us to convince the king that this goal is noble, our support, your experience. Reunite with him. And then what you're doing no longer becomes banditry, becomes your purpose. You become a captain again. That is what I meant by home previous. I was using a vague term, but I was obviously too,

I should have been much more literal. I didn't mean the comforts of home abed. I meant returning to what you do best being a captain of an army Here's my offer I will stay here in Jalanthar with my troops until the month of hammer

Deep Winter And we will cease our Stealing of supplies And banditry As you call it Until then And in that time you will speak with a king And if you can convince him

To take us back into the fold then i will speak with him hmm so we've got like a month is that right hammer is the january analog and we're in uctaw the rotting november so you've got like two months that's plenty of time basically saying that they'll hibernate here and not cause any more trouble until January, if you guys can get through to the king and convince him to support their army at that time, then he'll go under the king's banner again. I mean, it's a stop gap. At the very least, it's something to stop them from doing what they're doing today. If that's the extent of your imagination that you can do nothing or be a bandit,

sit here and do nothing. That's definitely our preference. But you could be trying to figure out where the giants are and what they're doing and collecting information. You could be putting together something so you've got a plan. You can dig a hole in the ground, wizard. I can. Don't overstep with me. And I'll see to it that my men are worked harder. Tobaxi,

your arrows sang true last night, even in the darkness. I have some soldiers who could benefit from your expertise. Report down to the river south of here. Right. Help them hone their skills. Sure. Right. And I give a nervous look to the other three, especially Jack.

Krayloff pats reds back and gives him a reassuring nod that it'll be okay. Yeah, yeah, and red leaves. Cleric, some of my men were terribly injured last night. They keep in the center of towns occupied by some soldiers who are still in need of healing. Go see to it that they're cared for. Of course. Krayloff clunks off. Wizard, your trench and berm effectively funneled the giants and orcs towards our position

last night. If we hadn't the mound of earth you'd sculpted, we could have been surrounded. Look, and he picks up a twig and starts drawing in the snow. This is where I want you to dig next. Here and here, we'll have sharpened stakes inside some trenches. This one here, this will be for oil. Shouldn't take you long. Did somebody say steak and oil? Yeah, but I don't, I think I'm just going to scowl with this guy. He can he can take the win. Doran, come with me. There's some armor I want you to see to.

And he walks off looking over his shoulder to make sure you're following him. Okay. So, Doran, he leads you to one of the grass-covered hovels kind of nearby and down a short set of stairs, dirt stairs, into a room lit by torches. Someone's dragged a large table into the center of the room. And it's covered with scrolls of parchment and writing utensils. and candles and maps. Captain Chaos Hammer takes his seat in a wooden chair behind the table

his feet dangling six inches off the floor and he gestures for you to stand at ease. And I do. Your friends are silver-tonged. You're lucky to count yourselves in their company, even if they aren't dwarves. Yes, they are. He toys with a signet ring absent-mindedly.

Mogier! Enter. An older dwarf, salt and pepper hair shuffles in from an adjoining room. He's holding a cold weather hat twisting it in his rough hands. Mogir flame tender has been a knight of the mithril shield for over 200 years. He's unquestionably one of the company's bravest and most trustworthy soldiers. Late last night, Mogier came to me with a strange story about our guest, Doran Iron Fist.

He was reminded of a tale of blood and battle, of courage. and cowardice, a story you told last night by Firelight, Doran. That fateful day you cleft the top from the mountain. Stunted Danlin's peak, when you smote the bodies of your foes below you, was madness. The way you tell it, you are a hero deserving adulation and praise. Mogier recalls the event differently. He says that your boulder crushed countless enemies. but among those friends.

You killed your brothers that day, Doran. You murdered 11 dwarves. And thanks to a deficit of witnesses, you've yet to be put on trial. That is until Mogier came forward. And he sits back in his chair, crossing his thick forearms over his chest, looking at you carefully.

Oh, shit. Doren looks around. His face doesn't change much. As you know, the punishment for such a wanton massacre of your fellow dwarves will be harshly dealt. I'm sure you'll agree with me that would be unfortunate, given the dedication you have to your current mission. I don't want to turn you in, Doran. You're too good a giant slayer, too close to my own heart. But especially considering what you were all saying about bringing the king and me back into agreement,

it could be seen as treasonous were I to hide you from justice. Dory kind of looks down, ashamed, and not looking in the eyes of Chaos Hammer or Mogir. But it's the heat of battle. These things happen. The mistakes are made. You think I want to live with that?

I think I want to live with the lives of those dwarves on my hands. They were my friends. They were my soldiers. Things happen in battle sometimes, Doran, but this is Dwarven law. I know. I know. I... You must do it. You must do. He pushes a folded piece of parchment across the table towards you, nodding at its contents. This tale, such as it is, need not leave this room. If you did me a favor, Doran,

something that would lend my trust to you. Doran sort of puts his finger on the parchment and slides at the rest of the way across the table, picking it up. It's a letter of recommendation. It just outlines that you and your friends are aware of the actions and the intentions of the knights of the Mithril Shield, that you agree what we're doing is necessary for the good of all.

I'm sure I'll never have to show it to anyone. Just sign the letter, Doran. No one has to know about your accident. That's awesome. Oh, that's so good. So essentially, this is putting me into one of these moral situations, eh? Yeah, and you read it. It's a very short letter. It says, we the undersigned, are aware of the actions of the Knights of the Mithril Shield

and do wholeheartedly endorse them. Any assistance or contribution would be made with great appreciation and with our gratitude. The Knight's Stone 4, red-handed Robin, Jack Page, Kraloth of Barovia, Doran Iron Fist. And there's one signature spot? You fucker. It's just under the Nightstone 4. Doren takes the parchment.

He looks at Mogier and Captain Chaos Hammer, and he folds the parchment and tucks it into his breast pocket and turns and attempts to leave. What do you think you're doing? I won't sign it right now. That's not the deal, Doran. And he stands up for. from behind the table and walks around to the front.

Where'd you get that axe, Doran? Ork splitter. It's a fine weapon. It is. Historical, isn't it? It is. Did you go tomb raiding yourself, or did you pay someone for it? Chaos Hammer.

Feeling a bit attacked here. And I felt the same way when you came on me in my hole this morning. How's it feel, Doran? Feels a little different when it's blackmail. I feel a little dirty, Chaos Hammer. I'm not going to lie. Sign the paper, Doran. I won't sign the paper.

Duren retrieves the paper from his pocket and tears it cleanly in half, dropping the two halves on the floor. You can send your people after me. Do what you will. But I'm leaving. Just then, a Dwarven patrol comes running in. two men totally out of breath red in the face captain captain frost giant spotted he's coming down

from the mountains now if we move fast enough we should catch him this time sir and chaos hammer gives you one hard long look dorin and then brushes past you to arms to arms hunting party dorin rushes out mm-hmm dwarves are scattering like mice here and there buckling on armor taking up their weapons. Where are you guys? What's happening? Yeah, I think Red hears it as he's like training some dwarves to use bows down by the river and he cocks his head towards Chaos Hammer who's yelling and Red starts running towards them. Yeah, Kralov is rushing behind this one dwarf who's got a severe limp and he's half bandaged

up. He says, I really don't think this is a good idea. You shouldn't be going. And the guy's just rushing me off. Jack's mostly just bitching to Kieran and glad for any distraction from doing what Chaos Hammer told him to. He was doing it, but he was pretty. Pretty aggrieved in only the way a privileged noble from Waterdeep can be when they're given orders by a dwarf. You were doing a cantrip, but pretending it was a ritual, like you had to take 10 minutes every time you had to cast it. I mean, there is something cathartic about throwing a five-foot cube of Earth around just to be like, this fucking dwarf doesn't know whatever. Like, just, just ranting.

I don't know why I picture you holding a shovel. I mean, I think he must have a shovel as part of an implement of it, right? Just trial. Yeah, he's got his little, like, tactical shovelers. sure you can use a wand or an orb but when it comes right down to it he he wanted to get right in the dirt good that's very jack fuck and but yeah hearing the distraction he's happy to go find the rest of the folks and see what's going on so i feel like i see you all kind of across the field as i come out of this place yeah red runs up he's like two arms i guess let's do this and he like reddies his bow

red wait no i'm like no time dawn we need to move okay about your bullshit what story you got going on I don't want to give you time to explain. It's one ice giant. Let's take this opportunity and keep moving. They've got their rabble. They've got their band. You see as Chaos Hammer is talking to like 10 dwarves, and they're like, we've seen this Frost Giant before.

It's time to take them down finally. Let's go. And they start heading out. Hold up. You've seen him before. What's he look like? What do you mean? What does he look like?

What's he wearing on his head? Oh. It's a funny hat. A funny hat, like a white dragon skull? funny hat? I mean, yeah, it's a skull. Oh, fuck. All right. Let us take this one.

Wait, wait, wait. Well, we mean to kill all giants, so we're going to go do that now. But maybe you should finish your defenses first. Just going to go kill him. No questions asked. Oh, fuck. We need to stop them. And Red runs after them. Chaos Hammer turns on you. Don't interfere, and

you can tag along. Right, okay. We're going to do whatever the hell we need to do. Jack, shut up. Jack. No, it's we'll tag along. And Red yells at you. I had Kraylash Kraylash Some sort of like East European

Kraylosh I'm Krelash My brother Krayloj I'm from Borovia Bravia Krelath beckons you over

Hushedly and it's like What is Should I be remembering something Who's this ice check? Yeah The Klegilmatar That you know the dragon who told us that we needed to go find...

It's the Frost Giant that will tell us everything. We can't let them kill this Frost Giant. But Jack, we can't let them know that we want to save it yet. It's just going to be a fight. We need to figure out a way to coyly be a scouting party before them. We can't just outright say, you don't do it. So these dwarves are fucking running. Yeah, we're moving as well.

We're talking to moving. Hey, wait a second. And Kralov reaches into his pocket. He pulls out, what was it, a berry? Oh, the invisibility berry. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't be fast enough to make use of this, but Red, if you want to do some scouting,

this might be the way to do it unseen. The berries, that's a great idea. Here, we've got eight total. I'll give everybody two of them, and now we should be able to use them to our best advantage. So these invisibility berries, the silver berries that Thera gave to you, last up to one hour. Yeah. Until you take an attack. You just got to get to the giant first, convince him to eat a berry, and then meet us somewhere.

Ooh. Oh. Convinced the giant to take a berry. Oh, I know. Fog cloud! And I fire fog cloud around all of us. Hey. Everybody roll a million die.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're like running, right? Yeah, yeah, it's freezing. The dwarves keep a brisk pace, but you're able to match them, and soon everyone is just sweating with exertion, jogging through the snow. Everyone is faster than them now,

including Doren because he has his mobile feet. Yeah. So we could make it wherever we're going fast. enough. So you know what I'll do? Red's running along. He's like, hold on, guys. Stop, stop, stop. And, like, everyone has to stop for a second. Just, just trust me. And Red flops down on the snow and just sits there for a few seconds.

And he's like, we should get out of here. We should take this opportunity to leave. Just wait. Just wait. And like, one of the dwarfs looks back and sees you guys and he's like, I have a migraine. Keep going. Keep going. And then the dwarfs kind of like jog out of view like over the hills. Yeah.

And then Red pops up in a flurry of snow and he points as the crow flies, which is just a little bit off the direction of where the dwarves were running. And he's like, that way. And we run like just a little bit to cut them off almost. So you guys gain the true location of this giant. Fuck yeah. And with Red's direction, you start off on just a small tangent.

Nice. But hopefully the faster way around. Yeah, and Red, again, you know, his hunter's sense just emanating from him. He's leading you guys through the. the trees and the wilderness, really running without holding anything back. And he's just like leaping from tree to treat. Bright eyes, scampering through the snow. Kieran, keep an eye on red.

Red so often contains his speed and stuff just because it doesn't benefit us. But now he's going full throttle. Maybe you're on all fours. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I'm running on all fours. Just like a cat. Beast mode.

Red, you lead your companions through the foothills of the Neveillance of the Nevis. their mountains. I'm picturing like drone footage of you guys fucking running. So we see Red in the distance and he's leading tracks and you guys are following and Kieran's up in the sky soaring. Oh and the drone also shows like the pack of

dwarves going this direction. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Four of us going this direction. Exactly. So we have like a little bit of a bird's eye view. And Red, you stop in a stand of pine trees where you have view over.

a snow-laden valley. And this is where your companions catch up to you. I figure we each bump into each other, like, and then we all fall over the hill. Land at the feet of the ice triangle. Through the stand of pines, you see a distant figure of a lone giant striding confidently

through the snow. Do we have eyes on the dwarves at all? Do we know how close there? Kieran, can you go fly and keep an eye on the dwarves, just so we know how long we have. Sure, boss. Take the sundial. We've got a couple minutes.

Minutes. All right, let's go. And I run full speed towards the frost giant. You guys break cover and run across this valley. With my hands like up. Yeah, absolutely. I'm like waving them back and forth. Kralath is huffing and puffing as he catches up with Red.

And he says, I don't know if I'm going to be much help in there. And he's going to cast guidance on Red. Oh, nice. Good call. And yeah, Red's going to run right up. The giant's head turns quickly to regard your party. He raises his axe and then lowers the weapon again. Red just like skids to his knees in the snow and he's like, friendly!

Friendly, we're friendly! He says it in Giant. I think Jack puts up his hands in an illusion of the word, We're Friends shows up above his head in Giant, just to be like, we come in peace. Doran's following the lead of U2 and holding his hands up in the air as he runs through the snow. And Red, like, through pants is like, There's a slew of dwarves coming.

They are not friends of ours, but they do mean to do you harm. Is there a way that you can hide yourself quickly? We have options if you don't. The giant scratches his beard. We don't want bloodshed. And I say that with a seriousness, and I'll happily roll persuasion. Please. Only a dirty 20.

Hey-oh. Oh. Hey-o. As you look up at him, Reg, you see him for the first time. Your first look at a frost giant is an impressive one. This creature stands taller than the fire giants you'd seen, probably somewhere around 22 feet tall. He's heavily armored in hammered metal and leather,

and the white furred hide of some large Arctic creature. He carries a wicked-looking great axe at least 12 feet tall. His skin is gray-blue with a long white beard, and a serious face protrudes from the jaws of a dragon skull perched on his head. worn as a fearsome helm. His biceps are wider than any three of you put together. He looks down at you, Red, way, way down, and he says, let us stay in peace. Come.

Cool. Yeah, and Red, like, stands up, all right, but we need to move quick. And I feel like we look over and, like, you know, just on the distance, maybe, even. We can see the figures, the shadows in the woods. Yeah. And Krayloff looks down at all of the footprints in the woods. the snow. Is this going to be a problem, Red? I'll cast pass without a trace.

Poof. Cool. So you guys leave no footprints, but we're still all standing in the middle of this valley. So he's like walking quickly towards some trees, but this dude is 22 feet tall. Is there nowhere nearby that we can hide or be at peace? The doors are about a minute that way. We got to make a call quick. Follow me. And he strides quickly through the snow to a copse of trees.

Cool. And with Pass Without Trace active, red, we're leaving no footprints. Yeah, we cannot be tracked by magical means, and everybody, including him, gets a plus 10 to their stealth. Let's all roll a stealth check, shall we? All right. Dice. Okay.

Plus 10? Correct. Okay. I got 16 with the plus 10. Not great. I got 25. You got a 29. 23.

And 21. After about a minute, we hit the trees and this frost. a giant just he moves into the woods and then settles down with his back against this huge oak tree and he kind of like shifts his limbs so that he's hard to be seen from the back are we safe now and red just puts up a finger to his lips and he's like kieran where they at yeah you hear kieran's voice in your head they've reached the valley boss they're confused i guess because the giant's tracks just disappear. Let's just wait them out.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like a tense five minutes pass. As Doran watches from the edge of the forest, looking out at the dwarves, the confused pack of dwarves, he looks down at his unit officer's ring and recalls what just took place in the town and how he's going to deal with it. I think they just kind of stomp around the valley for a little while and then head back home.

Yeah, and once they're long gone, we stand up. Hello, what's your name? I'm Harshnag. Harshnag. My name is Red. This is my best friend Doran and my best friend Kralath and my best friend Jack. We are destined to find you. A great green scrying dragon told us that you show us the spine of the world.

Also, we're meant to reorder the ordaining. Well, this is a lot of information. Yeah, sorry we'd throw in at you all at once there. It's been a long week. So Harshnag, this huge frost giant, stands up and dust himself off. He's like a height with some of the trees in this forest. This dude's fucking huge. Yeah, he's massive.

So we only come up to his knee. Yeah, you're about knee height to this giant. Yeah. He would have decimated these dwarves. Well, that's the thing. And so he's like, do you know those dwarves? They're hunting me. They're good-hearted, but they're idiots.

They're misguided. Jack is just grumpy. He's been a little brat since Evelyn. You've encountered them before? Fuck, Everland. Yes, I've seen them before. Fos such as you, I mean, you wouldn't have a problem dealing with those dwarves, I imagine. It would just be a nuisance to you, would it not?

I don't intend to kill small folk. My kind have a bad enough reputation as it is. We're really happy to hear that. We've had our fair share of run-ins with hill giants and stone giants, and even a fire giant, but we've yet to meet your kind, and we're really happy to be here. We were told that you'd be able to share some information with us. As I said, we're here to reshape the ordaining,

and we're hoping that maybe you could shed some light on some of these points. His face registers a look of surprise, for one so small you are well-versed in the cares of giants. A cloud giant told us that we were fated to do this, so basically, you know, God ordained. wink wink Is that so He looks around Thoughtfully nodding to himself

Well I guess I can tell you About the ordaining If that's what you're curious about Please Yeah But do you think we should get out of the cold He's like looking at us

Isicles in his Frost giant beard Cold Why don't you walk with me It'll keep your blood moving He takes a couple of Quick strides Through the woods

and then looks back behind him and sees you guys sort of struggling to keep up and he modifies his stride to allow you to follow him off into the depths of this winter wood. I think we're about to learn a whole lot about giants. Thanks again to our wonderful Patreon supporters Christopher Ryan Evans, Mitchell Cadwell,

Jessica Orrett, Colin Burkart, Daniel, Doug, Katie Orrett, and Merlin. See you next week. Doren, how dare you hide that from us. Bad Doren. I think Doren, character-wise, he's so humble. He doesn't like to boast his own...

Other than the story he told last night about... And also the fact that, like, everyone knows about how good of a craftsman is. Well, till he gets in the cups. But I don't... But even in past situations, I don't walk in saying, I'm Doran Iron Frist, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, he waits so it's most impactful.