Dice Shame - 82 | 'Spur of the Moment'

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

With stresses at an all time high, the party cuts loose after arriving in Yartar... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yotter's a ridiculous town full of people. Well, I guess we're drinking two each, buddy. Do it, Doren. We'll watch. Oh, cheers. Thank you. My best friend, Red. I don't know what I'm looking at here. Ah? Oh, come on, you've nearly died a bunch of times.

It's a pretty scary ratio when you think about it. Do you smell food, Jax? Hurry up. Do you have a bathroom, please? Nickway, can you help me for a minute? Oh, but it'll hurt like hell and... Oh, ow. Ow, that's actually kind of painful. Ow, ow, oh, ow, ow, ow, ow. Welcome back to Dice Shame.

This is episode 82, Spur of the Moment. MVP this week is Levi Glennie, a new fan and friend who first found us through malevolent, then joined the Patreon and Discord after finding us online. Now they're making their way through Dice Shame. Thanks for joining the fan, Levy. If you're looking for something new to add to your podcast queue this week, check out Tara and Ryan's Princess Diaries. Each episode, they watch a different Walt Disney animated film,

from The Secret of NIM to Robin Hood, and they suss it all out together. Season 2 is just launched, so now is a great time to dip your toes in. Check it out. Are we ready to do this? Let's do it. I've been doing a little bit of self-indulgent math.

What? Something I know that Rob likes to do sometimes. Oh, math. I was wondering why you're too. He looked so loose. Math. Math. Do the math.

Never. Every episode we record, averaged out over the course of our campaign calendar, is about 70% of an in-game day. Wow. Isn't that interesting? That's how averages were? How did you figure that out? Math.

Math. Oh, right. I wouldn't understand. And about 45% of the days that you guys campaigned together, there is at least one combat. Oh, that's a lot. I guess about every day that you are in game. That's too much combat.

Well, I was going to say, I don't know, is that a lot of combat or not a lot of combat? How many of that percentage are people trying to kill just Jack? 95%. It's been life or death for a long time around here. Everybody hates Jack. Everyone else is on the sidelines like, oh, Jack, there's another person who wants to hurt you. I feel like for Jack, 45% of your day is. having combat is a lot of combat, but for Doran, it's like not a lot.

No. He's kind of enjoying. He's itching. Yeah. I need more combat. Yeah. If Doran hasn't had combat for a while, he starts getting antsy for it, picking fights with the locals.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you look at at? It definitely has that sense of like, oh, you're on a campaign and fighting a war kind of like vibe, right? That's right. But the war is just us. We are the war. But for D&D, like the majority of the days don't have combat.

That's right. 65% of the days are just you guys hanging out and walking around. We're useless on those days. Hey, it doesn't mean that the good days, even the days that don't have combat are still pretty heavy. Hey, guys, I kind of feel like walking around and doing stuff. Sometimes I just get anxious and want to walk around and do things. You guys feel like pacing? There's heavy shit going on on the downtime days.

We had to attend a wedding, and we weren't fully dressed. Listen, we've got other pillars here. We've got to find the exploration one, and then there's another one. Roleplay. Role play, yeah. The intrigue pillar. Yes, the role play pillar. The play play pillar.

I think we're doing a good job at balancing it. Well, done, Joe. Yes. Indeed. Thank you very much. I feel good. Well, you guys could be getting into combats every day if you really felt like it. That's true.

Doren could be getting into a combat pretty much every moment he wanted to. What are you looking at? Dorn, that's a chicken. Don't fight it. Dorn's not a confrontational type. He's just, he said, I think we could make a case for Red doing the same. There have been a couple instances in bars where you've actually. accidentally shot an arrow at somebody.

I think the difference is red, the ratio is how many of those people would red kill? Because I think red is stupid. I think he makes mistakes and he gets into combat. But I feel like if it was an accidental arrow that hit somebody, he would either run away or, yeah, he'd fight, but rarely would try to kill the person. Yeah. Unless they wronged someone that he loved or cared about directly. Do you think he'd, like, be pretty relaxed about it? Like, don't worry, I'll just cast care wounds on you.

See? I think that, and I think that would aggravate them more because people tend to dislike that, flip it nature of it, like, oh, it's all right. It's not a big deal. Then they'd be like, what the fuck, man? That's why Jack gets so angry at Red. That's a love of blood. But I do think that Red would ultimately try to get out of it any way possible. Not just because he tries to be, like, diplomatic, but because he's lazy. He's very much like me in that way. Like, I don't want to fight. There's too many rounds of combat. Krayloth. Krayloth doesn't like fighting, but Justin, the player. that's me. Oh, hi. Loves combat. I love for combat. I do, I always, and I always, like, end up being at the end of the initiative.

And I'm just like, come on. I'm ready. Come on. I want to do stuff. And then it gets to my turn and I have no idea what to do. Yeah, yeah. Justin is one of those characters who has like an animation where you're sort of just waiting. Like street fighter?

Yeah, like Street Fighter. Or like in Final Fantasy where you're just like gently bouncing up and down, waiting for your turn to go. Then you missed a button. Press and you're going to flip through a book for four minutes. Harlan, the player, is the same thing. I love combat, but I do think, I think a different mode of Harlan comes out when combat starts, because I very much switch immediately to tactical.

And I'm like, okay, how am I going to survive this? How am I, like, and I think that shows Red doesn't go down that much, but obviously he also hangs back, but that's because I'm doing it. I'm like, I'm going to pick a character that moves back, and that's part of me trying to be very tactical in combat. I love it. It's so much fun. Are we going to get in combat today?

I wonder. Who knows? I have a feeling Yarder has some seedy. Yeah. I think Dorn's going to get in combat. Like there's got to be, yeah. Some Yarder sauce. But let's not forget about the reason that you guys came to Yarder.

You're here to learn. Mysteries. The portal empties you out into a walled garden courtyard and then vanishes abruptly. Stone benches line portions of the eight foot tall wall of ivy covered stone. Bright berries stand out in sharp contrast. all along its perimeter. Statues of frolicing dryads and satyrs peek out from between handsome shrubs and bushes

somehow still resplendent despite the chilly climate. A dilapidated building adjoins the planted gardens, a strange contrast to its beauty. Its roof is partly crooked where some of the timbers have surely gone rotten and the door is peeling paint. It's sunset now,

so the sky is colors of orange and move. Wow. That was a fun ride. Hey, look at these berries. And I walk up. Can I roll nature to see if they're edible? Yeah.

That was a natural one. You think they are edible. Beautiful. I think these are edible, and I take one, and I eat it. Yeah, it tastes awful. Oh, it's edible, but it tastes awful. You should try one, Doran. And I take one off, and I hint it to Doran.

Trust me. Doren just kind of pretends to put it in his mouth and throws it next to his mouth. Oh, very good. Red, roll a constitution saving throw. Sure. Doran could definitely just eat all of these berries, though, because he's got poison resistance, right?

14. Yeah, I mean, you're not poisoned, but your stomach feels really bad and you get kind of sick. I'm feeling fine. Why are you saying you're feeling fine? Because I am. I ran across this great idea the other day that, of course, Dwarven cooking would be really really. really, like, really spicy because all of the things that are flavorful and interesting are

kind of designed as, like, poisons to help plants beat, protect themselves and things. So the things dwarves could eat being poison resistant would be that much more flavorful and pungent and poisonous. That's true, actually. Red collects a bunch of these berries. Just, like, stubbornly. Do you guys find that you're always hungry after going through portals? I had tried some of these.

Griland, perfectly safe to eat. He's still trying to pause. off the boiling berries. Are you okay, buddy? Can I do a medicine check on him? Yeah, go for it. And we all die in the park and yarder, the end of the story.

I got a 10 for medicine. Red's not feeling good. I'm feeling fine. I don't think you should have eaten those berries, buddy. I only had one. I'll collect more. Guys, come on. Red, they're purple and speckled

with bright red dots. I really don't think they're meant to be eaten. Well, I'll just. Just keep these for later then, Red says, and, like, puts them in a bundle and puts them in the bag of holding. And you guys will just miss out on the fun. Come on, buddy. Get it out of your system, buddy. Doing that really well.

Do you have inspiration, Harlan? No. You get inspiration for that very believable, disgusting acting. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. Excellent. I think we established in the Shadow Top episode that Red is very insecure about his intelligence. I think when he made this gamble

and proved he was wrong, he doesn't want to back track. So he's like, he's digging deeper, you know? He's just digging his heels in. He's putting the bag away. He's like, well, I'll just enjoy them later. Come on, guys. And Red walks forward, but he's like,

takes three steps and hunches and then takes three steps and hunches forward. Jackson makes like a little chirping sound at you, Krayloff after you mention the being hungry. and you watch their little whiskers wiggle at some smell that they're smelling that you don't smell yet. Oh, you smell something, Jackson?

Kralath is all of a sudden very serious. Do you smell food, Jackson? Lead us to the food. Miao. Good, Trusson. Jackson hops down from your shoulder and this is like a little cat. He's just little.

And he just like pads forward towards this dilapidated house. This is a small courtyard that you guys are in. It's like an enclosed backyard, basically. Sounds delightful. And this cat just like pads forward and sits down very politely in front of this peeling door and then turns his great big yellow eyes at you and just goes. Miao. Let's knock, guys.

Yeah, there might be some food in here, guys. And Kralov knocks on the door. Also, does anyone see an outhouse? Hello? You wait a minute. And then there's some movement inside. Hello. And you hear someone...

Just a minute. Okay. Hurry up. Do you have a bathroom, please? And footsteps inside, and then the door opens. And you see this old cantankerous-looking man. He's got this, like, matted copper hair and gray eyes. But he's wearing nice clothing, and he opens the door.

And it's like a well-lit. cottage-type home that he reveals in the open doorway behind him. And indeed, there's a smell of, like, cooking smell coming from the house. And Red just pushes forward, and he's like, at house! Oh, yeah, just through there. I'll be back, unrelated, unrelated! And Red runs off. Unrelated. Hi.

Cole, Boz. Hey, Colbaz. I'm Jack Page. This is Kralath and Doran, and that's my friend Red. Nice to meet you! My best friend, Red. Sorry for barging in. We just arrived in town and we're looking around and we came upon this hut and my trussum friend here smelled your cooking.

What are you cooking up there, my friend? He kind of raises an eyebrow at you, Kralov. You just arrived in town and... I wink at him with both eyes. Anyway, come in. I've seen Red do this before, but I'm not sure exactly. Inside, inside. All right, all right, all right.

He waves you guys in, closes the door behind him, and slides a lock into place. And just before the lock closes, red, like, opens the door again, right in the guy's face. He's like, oh, sorry, I just had to check the perimeter. And he blinks at the guy and then shuts the door behind them. He's so confused. I only made enough dinner for me. I wasn't expecting anyone to come through. Oh, we got some of you.

I had a bite from the berries in your back yard. all right and um we could share your food no no no no it's okay I'm sure we could find some anywhere else in town I definitely eat scallets

anyway it's like one sausage like steaming in a pan we don't necessarily need to to stay for dinner we can just share it we can just share it we've got a couple of questions for a local though if you don't mind

helping out someone who travels in the particular way to arrive in your backyard. Sit down. Oh, have you gotten any beer? No, I mean, just sit. Literally like two bites into a sausage. What can I help you with? I'm going to snap my fingers and show that fancy gambling token thing. Do you know where this is from? He shakes his head at you. What else? Tell us about Yada really quick. Obviously, we don't take up too much of time. Well, Yarder's a ridiculous town full of people that, you know, go about their own business. It's loud at night and no shops are open during the day and it's unpleasant.

And I'm stuck here by myself. As the man's talking, Doran picks up his glass and smells it and takes a swig of whatever the man's drinking. Do you mind? Torin. I'm sorry. Sorry, he's a dwarf. He picks up his glass and takes it over to the wash basin and empties the water out and starts washing it because he doesn't want to drink from the glass that you just drank.

Doren. A lot of my face. Are you always this rude? Yes. Now, look, sorry, we've just been discombobulated and we're just turned around. We just wanted a brief introduction of the city. You said it's a night city. There's markets open during night.

It's very noisy. Should be opening just about now. It's sunset. I try to get some decent rest. It sounds like a good time. Well, we don't want to take up too much of your time. It seems like you're busy. We just wanted to say thank you for helping us.

I suppose I'll be seeing you again. Yes. Oh, yeah. Sorry for drinking your drink. Yeah, it's always briefly. People come, people go. Anyway, off with you. You sound lonely.

Yeah, it didn't. It wasn't lonely sounding comment. You see it's just a little glint in his eye, and he sort of turns back and pours himself another glass of water and sits down with his one sausage. You know, we have stuff to do, but I don't mind leaving my friend Stephen here. Stephen! And I yell, and like, from the coat rack,

Stephen just walks out and sits down next to him. Stephen, would you like to stay here with our new friend, Cobas, Cobas? Is this a fucking illusory goat or what? No, this is a spirit. He's a beast. He's real, though. You can pet him if you'd like. Interesting.

The old mage walks over to your weird goat friend, and he's like, very curious. It's a comfort goat. And he pats him. Oh, he's warm. And Stephen looks up with those big, beautiful goat eyes. Stephen, would you like to stay here? What's the range on that spell? You like fill this guy's heart?

No, I love the idea that you're like, all right, Stephen. Now you keep him. Friendly animal, and then you leave the room and he disappears. He's gone. Stephen will stay here anyway if you'd like him. I wouldn't mind. An animal companion, yes, just for a time, maybe. I'll stretch the range of the spell.

It'll be fine. Well, we'll be out of your hair. Stephen, you'd be very good and don't need any shoes unless he offers. Awesome. So you guys head out through the front door into the darkening night. Yeah. The Deseran River drains water out of the high forest from the ice caps of the lost peaks and the dew collected from hundreds of miles of leaves and branches.

It meets the river Serbin in the plains and canyons of the Desirene Valley, a river whose currents flow all the way from the crystal meltwater of the spine of the world and the bogs of the evermoors. At the dovetail of these two rivers, the city of Yarder has grown up, once a barge town and now a prosperous city nearly too big for its gated walls. And just as the cantankerous mage Colbas warned you the city is waking up, As the sun is setting on its canals and shorelines, strong lanterns that are hung between these tall buildings are lit in festive colors,

and Kralath you are tempted by many smells of food vendors as they perfume the air with tempting odors. And also, you begin to hear something that makes your heart a little bit lighter. Musicians are taking up residents here and there in doorways, dock sides, solo and in ensembles, and they are starting to strike up. It's really curious melody.

Their art is so finely crafted such that as you move through the streets of this lively night city, you can tell that the nearby musicians are melding their creations into each other's music, such that as you move through the city, it's like a tapestry where the performers are changing the sounds of their music to kind of compliment the other musicians nearby. But from the doorway of this house where the teleportation circle is, down to the docks where you find yourselves now, it's an entirely different kind of music. Right. As you move, it shifts.

That's brilliant. If Waterdeep was had kind of that New Orleans vibe, I wonder if this is like Nashville. Ooh, maybe. Yeah, I like that. It's very much focused on the arts. There are troops of interactive dance and theater performers, circus performers. People are all getting set up for a night of revelry. This is amazing. Guys, look at this. Party City, Doran. Look at that energy.

Look at that guy over there. He's on fire. Oh, that's not supposed to be. Someone put that guy out. This is really great, though. And all the music and foods, what do you guys want to do? I wouldn't mind doing some shopping. I'm thinking of maybe getting some of these art items appraised. if anyone wants to tag along.

Doran's, like, totally confused by this whole thing. Like, ever since this guy's house, I don't know why he's got it in his mind that it's just a free-for-all-the-city. So he's, like, picking up people's drinks as he's walking by. He's, cheers, and he's drinking in, handing his empty cup off to others. And then maybe he takes a fry or whatever is the equivalent of a French fry is. Oh, cheers, thank you. Just no manners whatsoever.

No, none. The population here of Yarder seems to be unusually weighted, towards women. It's like 75% of the people that you see present as female here. So the four of you wandering around all male presenting is kind of remarkable slightly. And yeah, there's a night market. There are exotic animals being hawked, stages where cell swords are showing their martial abilities. The next bear launching will be in five minutes. We are hawking a bear. There are people crying outside, basically boasting about how good they are, tattoos and body modification.

There's like smithing and crafting, people selling high fashion, precious minerals, and this huge night market is situated at the junction of this river and all surrounded by these four-story buildings that look down into the market, all strung high with these red and orange lanterns. Wow. Yeah, so Red heads off towards one of the big shops. And he's like, if anyone wants to come, come on. Red's going shopping.

I feel like Doran is getting intrigued by the piercings and tattoos. Doran wanders up to this tattoo and piercing crier. I was thinking about getting something pierced. What would you say about piercing my nose or my ear or my penis? No. He kind of looks at the crier and he's waiting for maybe a suggestion as someone walks by with a beer and Doreen grabs it and takes a swig. This woman closes the distance between the two of you and she raises a hand to your face and she traces a thumb down the scar that runs over your eye that you got from that demon. Do you remember? Yeah, I do. The hambrat house. It's right down the center of my eye. Luckily, it didn't blind me. And she says to you, uh, look like you don't fucking mind a little bit of pain.

Oh, ho. And Doran's bum blushes. Now you're talking my language. Maybe you could pierce my scar. I could give you an eyebrow piercing, yeah. Yeah. In fact, take this scar and pinch it shut. That would look kind of cool right on my eyebrow there. All right. Because like where his eyebrow is, it's like you never got stitches. So it's just like this gaping, dashy wound that's not quite healed. She's like, come back in 15 minutes and I'll have McGee are ready for you.

Cool. Did they do it right on the street, you think? No, she's got like a little shop. It's pretty small. It's like some steps down into the basement of a four-story building. So you have to go like downstairs and underneath. Cool. And it's a pretty small looking place, but magic.

You don't have to be like ultra-sanitary because you got a healer with you. Yeah, exactly. Cool. So, Red, you're going shopping. Do you take any of your friends with you? I mean, I'm definitely interested in finding a bookstore along the way, just because that would be interesting for things to look at. So, yeah, if you're heading market word, I think that's sort of the same direction,

Jack's probably heading. Perfect. Okay. I think that maybe I'll hang back with Doran then, in that case. Cool. And Kralov got his arms full of, like, lamb shanks, and kebabs and beersteins. He's got four of them. He's like, oh.

well I guess we're drinking two each buddy bottoms up I'm coming back from the tattoos so you know it's perfect timing she's like sharpening this this long needle piercing well not yet but do you want to come with me while I go get it oh oh over there and I see it twinkle and all of a sudden my eyes kind of go oh very nervous about it suddenly well I'll sit next to you are you are you scared Doran it looks pretty painful no I'm not scared No, no, no. Okay, all right, all right. Well, I'll sit with you, and who knows, maybe the others will come back around.

Got Ork Splitter, I can't be scared. Yeah, Ork Splitter can't make him frightened. Right. I feel like when we see Red and Jack, they're like in a shop. Jack is behind him looking through all these books, and Red has this like puppet theater on the counter. And he's like, well, and I don't know, but when you do this, it wiggles and I don't know, do you know anything about it? Is it with anything? Yeah, you're talking to this short.

female dwarf, and she's, like, walking around you as you kind of demonstrate how this puppet theater works. Ah? And sitting next to it on the counter is also the jade flower and the golden flute, which she's already appraised. While this is happening, like, Jack was looking at books really interesting, but every time there's, like, red pauses and is missing a fact about it, or there's like, no, but you can't lose the story of this puppet theater.

It matters that the puppet theater survived Grudhog, and you got to throw in a few extra coins for that. That story is, you know, there's just that element of trying to... She runs her hand over the fine wood that's only slightly bespoiled by the rot and filth that Grudhog inflicted on it. And then she sort of like hops underneath and takes a look at the bottom. Ah, I see it right here. A parent caristi. This is a fine item. Is he some sort of woodworker or... Yes, a halfling. Wow. And the jade flower, who is the one that you said did the jade flower again? This is certainly the work of Mary Karneski. Well, I want to keep them all, but maybe, is there anything here that's cool?

And he sort of looks behind to see if there's any, like, odd trinkets or magic items. Yeah, actually, she does have quite a few cool magic items here. This is, like, she walks behind the counter and she opens up, like, a special iron chest. and she takes a look at her wares for a minute and she says, have some potions, have a spell scroll. Well, hold on. Hold on. No. Hold up. Hold up. That! What is the folding boat?

And the one before it. Yeah, those two, but the folding boat. She takes a spell scroll out and she puts it down on the counter and she says, a very good spell, a magic missile. Oh, yeah, okay. Well, the folding boat. What is that? It's like a little wooden box.

It's like a foot long, six inches wide. And it's, yeah, it's pretty handy in terms of sizing. She knocks her little fist on the top of it. Handy thing, this. I recently lost a boat. How did you lose a boat? Well, it was on this robe sea, and I threw it when this giant water bug tried to eat my friend Kralath. And then the giant hash bag from the north.

Yes, I understand. Cool. She comes outside. She's like gestures for you to follow her out. into the square, and she says, make way, make way, excuse me, can you help me for a minute, make way? And she's like having, she's having a lot of trouble clearing out of big enough space. And she demonstrated how it works. So essentially, she uses a command word that you can set for yourself as you will, but she uses the word command. Very, very creative. It unfolds out into a boat

that's 10 feet long. There's like a bunch of boats in the, in this, in this center. They all open, that all open. She's like, damn, I didn't reset it from like the factory password. One, two, three, four. And then she says the second command word, which is second command. And it unfolds to be 24 feet long. So it can house four people and then 15 people comfortably.

And Red, doing his absolute best to play it cool. He's like, yeah, it's pretty cool. How much do you want for it, I guess? 6,000. I mean, I could do maybe, I don't know, 24 feet, you know, it's pretty, what would you say to 3,000? Roll persuasion check. You're using, you're gambling our money? I'm not going to do it until, I mean, I'll, well, no, I'd probably, yeah, I'd spend our money.

Dirty 20. Dirty 20? 4,500. How about this? 3,000 plus the three items of art I got on your desk back there. The golden pipes, the jade flower, and the wooden puppet theater. Third command, and the boat folds up into a little box, and then she carries it back inside.

Takes another look around. At the items that you have on her showroom floor, they're fine work. 3,750. All right, put it on hold. Hold these items. I've got to talk to my friends. Come on, Jack. And I run to where I last saw Krayloth and Doren.

Okay, so you run back to, like, the eastern part of the square. And as you get to this, like, kind of dingy basement tattoo parlor, Krayloth and Doren are just coming out. and Doran's got like a little rivulet of blood coming down from his eye, but you see he's sporting this new piece of jewelry. What kind of jewelry are you wearing in your new eyebrow ring, Doran? Well, I think it's not just one piercing, it's a few. Ooh.

So she's put in staples into this scar coming down and then a big ring around my eyebrow. That's fucking awesome. That's so metal. Yes, and they're not medical staples. They're like to look cool. Doren, that's the coolest thing I've ever seen. Why did you get that? Well, I was thinking of

why not put a little bit of fanciness on my body, right? I mean, it's not like I wanted to get a tattoo. I mean, if I got a tattoo, then you might want to get a tattoo. Then Kralath would want to get a tattoo? I'll get a tattoo with you! Would Jack want to get a tattoo with us?

Jack, would you get a tattoo with us? What do you want to get a tattoo of? I don't know, but I would be open to whatever. That sounds great. Oh, but wait, hold on. First, first things first. I got us a really good deal. on a folding boat. What do you guys say?

Oh, a boat. Kralath, what do you say? And it just, you can just fold it up and carry it wherever you want. Yeah. That sounds amazing. We could go a lot of places with a boat. Jack? Can we please, please, please, please, please, please.

Yeah, I'm all for it. Awesome. You guys think about tattoo designs. I'll be right back and Red runs off. So Red, you run back to the shop. The shopkeeper is like, standing there, still looking at the items that you left her with. I'll take it! I slapped down the gold.

Oh, all right. All 3,700 of it. So you just press this button on the bottom when you want to change the command words, and then you speak them, one, two, three in sequence, and there you go. Thank you. And I take the boat and I walk to a corner and I press it and I go, Stephen Boat, Stephen Boat 2, Stephen Boat 3. And then I let go and put it in the bag of holding and head back to the others. Very good. Very good.

Oh, my God. What do you say, guys? And I turn to Jack and Kralath. Come on, get tattoos with Doren and I. We'll all get matching tattoos. Well, hold on. Getting a tattoo is a serious matter. It's got to be something that has meaning. Yeah.

And, um... Dad. Kraloth pulls up his sleeve and he shows the brand that he got when he was in Borovia with the Knights of the Eternal Order. And he says, this was incredibly painful. And it was meant to symbolize the pain and struggle that we were going to want to face together as a team in Borovia, I think if we get something,

it's got to be symbolic and meaningful and shouldn't be taken lightly. That's just how I few. Let's get a tattoo. Jack just looks nervous about the whole thing. Like, he's, you know, especially at the, this will be really painful, like he swallows real hard. Yeah.

Like, oh boy. Jack, it's going to be fine. And Red casts minor illusion on your skin of like a picture of Red's face giving you a thumbs up like right on your forearm like see look it can be there and then like stretches his hands

and it gets bigger across your skin and smaller see wouldn't that be so cool and then you look down at the tattoo and it winks at you he's definitely like loves the symbolic nature of all of this and like is in it's just the element of like

oh but it'll hurt like hell and although I think the the fancy illusion work from Red is now very distracting because it's an element of like, he is getting better. I guess practice really does make, I wonder how much,

like there's just entirely lost and like, get distracted about the wrong detail. And I guess Doran's sort of like, maybe catching a bit of the apprehension on your face. Doran kind of jovially punches you in the shoulder, Jack. And he says, oh, come on, you've nearly died a bunch of times so far this past couple months.

It can't be that painful. Today. Take 3D6 force damage. How about this? Doran pulls. out his little leather-bound notebook, and he flips through pages, you know, and he's like, so I've been sketching, and what do you guys think about this? And he pulls out this picture, and he shows it to you all. Oh. Oh, Doran, it's lovely. Doran, it's perfect. Jack, you're very

tired right now. Are you not? I'm imagining a little bit of some... Definitely a little punch drunk having circles on your eyes. Because you didn't sleep last night. You were, you know, When's the last time you slept? You were on the road to Everland. Two cities ago. Two cities ago is when you slept. It's that high-flying adventure lifestyle. It comes into water deep, doesn't sleep, you know.

I have a feeling that this is kind of maybe almost bringing you back to some of your halcyon days of being an academic and being out on the road and, you know, having to like do some dig and then travel somewhere else and studying. all night, and it's a very different vibe, but, like, you've definitely pulled all-nighters before. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think it's, the difference being they had a lot less trauma in those days. Yes.

But, you know, he's, he's down. Let's get a tattoo. Doren, that's perfect. I always wondered what you were sketching. That's not a map. No. I figured it had to be something. I mean, I've got maps here, and he flips back and forth. And then there's quickly flips back, naked drawings.

Kremlin? Kremlin. Oh, no, forget. Forget a goblin smut. It's like flipping through someone's phone and like flipping too far. Oh, shit. I sketch a lot. You know, these are art.

This is art. Of course. They're surprisingly tasteful, though. They're like, fucking, well, one of them's nasty. But, like, most of them are kind of beautiful. Like, what's it called? Titanic. Yeah.

But she's, like, on a pile of dead bodies. Yeah. Skulls. These anatomical drawings, Doran, are bang on. Flip back to that tattoo, if you don't mind. I don't know what I'm looking at here. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think it's representative of all of us.

Oh, yeah, no, no. The tattoo is great. I, uh, it feels right. Well, thanks. I'm, I'm, I'm proud of it, you know. I think, I think the tattoo artist will have a better, uh, kind of way to, way to put it, but the idea is there. It's great.

Let's get it. Let's do it. So the four of you descend into this tattoo. two parlor and there's a couple of tattoo artists who are busy right now in the shop inking up other patrons there's like a heavily tattooed halfling woman who is getting some work done on her lower her left calf um she's like reclining in a a leather like armchair chatting with her tattoo artist who's a drow that's got these like resplendent silver tattoos all over her skin. Cool. I picture there's also like an eight foot half or getting the final touches up of some

gruesome murder on their thigh. Oh certainly like a documentation of everything that they've all the nasty things they've ever done in their life just like scrawled all over their skin. This place clearly has some talented artists at work based on what like the flash, the fantasy flash that you see on the walls. They're moving and shit. Yeah, some of them are illusory. Some of them are... I picture that like Rosie the Riveter one,

but she's like stretching her arm up and like flexing. You know, it's like moving for some reason. I don't know. For some reason that one came to mind. She's a Goliath though. Oh yeah, she's Goliath. She's like winking.

That's so cool. Who wants to go first? There's a couple spots open but there's only one artist right now who's not, you know, on their break or whatever. I guess Doran walks up and says, I'm going to go first.

Do it, Doran. We'll watch. Doran jumps up and he points to his shoulder and he opens his book and he says, We're all going to get this one. He says that to the tattoo artist. Yeah, he looks at it for a minute. This tattoo artist just takes a good long look at it and he's like, you sure? Yeah, yeah.

We're all part of a team here. It's your first tattoo buddy? Yeah, it's my first tattoo, but I've got this branding. over here and this hurt. So, you know. Oh, that's sick. Should be nothing. All right.

Hold on. He takes a dagger out of his pocket and he just scrapes all the hair off of your shoulder to give like a clean space for the ink to go down. Nice. And then he starts to work. Jack flinches when the dagger comes out, not knowing what it's... He doesn't know what's going to happen. Stop us?

And then maybe the humorous part is Dora starts to like, wins. Oh, ow. Oh, that's actually kind of painful. Ow, oh, ow, ow, ow. You all right there, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, it's nothing. Hold still, hold still.

And seeing the look on Jack's face, he stops immediately. How many beasts have you slain in the last month, door? You know, I did some math. I feel like in our time together, about 35% of the time we're in a life or death fight. Oh, you know,

say it's a pretty scary ratio when you think about it I can't stop thinking about it today we almost done through the blood and ink uh doran it only takes like probably maximum of 10 minutes before your tattoo's all done and the artist you know slathers a little bit of healing balm on your shoulder some ointment yeah oh you know what that wasn't so bad at the end of the day it, uh, huh, okay. And Duren leaps down from the chair and proudly displays his new tattoo. Doren, that's so cool. Yes. All right. I'm up and Kralov sits down and I think he takes the tattoo pretty well. Winses a couple times, but, uh, no big deal. No. Where do you put yours? I'm going to put it on my, um, shoulder. Yeah, I say my bicep. Yeah. Jack, it's your turn.

yeah uh jack slithers up into the chair a little bit hesitant but like once he's there he's he's here for it and maybe he like starts to turn around and in a very abate castello sort of way uh kralath and and darner kind of like no no no no no and like kind of yeah um but yeah i mean he he rolls up his sleeve and and is is ready to get this tattoo in his shoulder just like the others all right now you stay still you got it and he does like he's he jack's nothing if not good at following directions. Like a real champ. Red, you're the last one up.

All right. Let's do this. And I lie down and, like, present my shoulder. You guys, sure that you don't want, like, something fancier, right? Hold on. What do you mean fancy? Well, I mean, it's cool that you guys are all getting, like, this matching tattoo and stuff. That's awesome.

I don't mean to say that it's, like, not super cool or anything. We got, like, these, like, magic tattoos. I see that you guys have got all these, like, cool adventuring. Hold on. What do you mean magic tattoos? Magic? Well, just, I mean, hold on a second. He brings out, like, a laminated menu.

What? Amazing. Yeah, I'm going to get a magic tattoo. The classic laminated tattoo party. Yeah, and I look over the tattoos. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can choose from any of these, as long as you guys have the gold for it.

Oh, shit. Yeah, I'm going to get the masquerade tattoo. It's only 100 gold. Oh. It says it appears on your skin. As a bonus action, I can shape it to any, color or pattern and move it to any area of my skin, including the entirety of my skin. So I can cover my skin with this tattoo.

And then as an action, once a day, I can cast disguise self on myself, which is awesome. So I get a free spell. Yeah, so I'll get that. Bring it on. Oh, wow. Jeez. I guess we should have asked about the options before we all sat down, hey, Jack? Yeah, just, can me.

And Jack's totally fascinated with the whole process of magical tattoos and how, the ink becomes magical what they're doing. So he's sort of half carrying this conversation on. Well, this is really cool, Jack. As you watch the tattoo artist like procures from nowhere, this magical needle, pulls it out of a pocket dimension. And it's kind of multicolored in the way that an oil slick is. It's like black but pearlescent like rainbow sheen on top of this black steel.

And you watch, this is a painful procedure red. And you watch as the tattoo artist in the symbol that you had given him into Red's shaved skin. Yow! And as he inks this design in, the needle itself actually disappears into Red's skin. Oh, crazy. Well, had a lot, but only for a second. I hope that doesn't in fact. Is that going to come out, like, when it's a done?

The tattoo artist as he's rubbing ointment into your skin So if you ever just want to unattune to the tattoo I mean just keep this needle handy And you should be able to reuse it whenever you want That's amazing and then Red stands up And I feel like all of us do that Starship Troopers thing Where we like flex our biceps at the camera And show our individual tattoos

Adorable And it's this shield and inside the shield is an orb and inside the orb is an X that's made out of an axe and an arrow one item to represent each of us that's right

and I feel like the tattoo artist had enough foresight to slightly differentiate all four of your tattoos like they're all done in kind of a slightly different style like one of them is kind of more angular and thick lined

one of them is done with more gentle shadings. One of them is like crosshatched. Everyone's wearing the same symbol, but it's kind of tailor fit to, like the tattoo artist observed the style of clothing that you're wearing and your manner of speech and kind of just made each one slightly unique. That's really cool. What's this artist's name? The tattoo artist's name is Burke Hart. Burke, this is really stunning work. And I really love how you put these little details on each of them. You seem like you're crazy observant. Like you've got an eye on the pulse of this town. And so I got a weird question for you maybe. Yeah, sure. What's up? Have you seen this kind of coin before? We're trying to figure out where

it came from. Definitely an illusion of it in Jack's hand. That's sort of his go-to. Do you know where these come from? No, man. I've never seen those before. Do you know anyone who would know where these might come from. Maybe somebody who's got a beat on the city. Make a persuasion roll. Can I roll it and Jack aid me, maybe? You can roll with advantage because of Jack's flattery. A natural one.

And a 14. Nice. Yeah, there's a guy, actually, he's got an appointment with me in about an hour. Did you guys want to come back? Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah. Sure. We'll just go grab a bit.

or something at one of these stands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool. Don't fall in. Any areas of this town, and we need to avoid, by the way, before we go get that beer? He takes a look over his shoulder just to make sure that he's, like,

accounted for all the patrons who are currently in the shop, and then he's like, just watch your pockets. Oh, good, good. Good to know. Well, well, thank you very much for that. All right, boys.

We got an hour. The Nightstone 4 are going to hit the town. Party down! Thanks again to our wonderful Patreon supporters, Christopher Ryan Evans, Mitchell Cadwell, Paran Karishti, Marri Karniski, Jessica Orrett, Colin Burkart, Daniel, Doug, Katie Orrett, and Merlin. See you soon!

Everybody hates Jack