Dice Shame - 9 | ‘A Friend in Need’

Episode Date: December 12, 2019

With the rats dispatched, the team looks for the residents of Nightstone in hopes of bringing them home safely... Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. There’s nothing quite like getting together with your close friends on game night, getting the snacks out, and rolling some dice together. Right now we’re playing through Storm King’s Thunder, an adventure for D&D 5th edition. Like the games we play at home, we try not to take ourselves too seriously. The show is entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. As for the eponymous Dice Shame? When the rolls get cold—well, you’ll have to tune in to find out! Episodes are released every Thursday at 1:20 am. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

By the Hammer of Moradin. Good to see ya, Morak. Park, I haven't heard you surrender yet. This is battle! Red, nimbly dodges. And then he sticks his tongue out. I feel like you could remix this into like Guthrie noises. Die, dwarf!

There's artistry in there. That's a real significant... We did artistry too! Didn't you see the way the arrow flew through his brain? Us big badass heroes, look at us. That's the first time that it's actually worked! How cool did that look though, guys? Woo!

Welcome once again to Dice Shame, the actual Play D&D 5E podcast. That's right. It's episode 9, a friend in need. Oh, yeah. This week we're giving the prestigious title of MVP to Mitchell James Caldwell for his extreme enthusiasm on Facebook. Can't go wrong with six exclamation points, Mitchell. Thanks so much, Mitchell. If you're enjoying this show, consider supporting us on Patreon. You'll get your name listed on our website under.

the wall of shame as well as a number of other unique features like game notes behind the scenes videos and more let's uh let's head right into the episode i am so ready yeah so we killed some motherfucking rats we killed some rats ratty tat how many rats did we kill rats of abnormal size rats i'm imagining all of you guys just high fiving jack all of you guys just high-fiving. Jack is not in a high-fiving mood. He's got this, like, six-foot-tall sphere of fire, and he's walking down, like, the heat off of it is

letting his, like, robes flow with it, his hair is blowing back a little bit, and he's walking into this tunnel, like, shouting, Hark, you better stand down. We're not fucking around. We've melted your giants, your rats, your goblins. You've got nothing. You better put your weapons down and give all of the survivors

over to us. You've gotten minutes before you will meet them in Kellenbor's embrace. Kellen for it, too. Man, I'm laking it. I'm licking this. I love the image of you following this sphere, like your hair and your robes whipping in the wind that it's creating. Yeah. Yeah, like you're not, you're not running. You're not, you're not slow, but you're, it's like methodical. You're like allowing it to really take presence. I think red is still obviously at the stalagmites, if I remember last time correctly. I believe I also have Hunter's Mark still on the chieftain. It's your turn. Let's stay in initiative order right now. Red, what do you do?

Well, I'm obviously watching Jack head down this northern tunnel with this flaming sphere. Do I have any line of sight beyond the sphere to see if there is anything there? You can see just a little bit farther down the passageway, but it's actually not very far before it continues to turn. These are very twisty-turny passages. Unfortunately, as much as I am at an advantage when it comes to like outside by scaling a tree, in twisty turnies, I'm not. So I'm going to get into a position that is more open, but in direct line looking into this northern tunnel behind Jack by about 30 feet. And I'm just going to train my bow on him and over his shoulder and beyond the sphere in case anything decides to poke its head out. Okay. Jack, what do you do?

Jack's going to roll the flaming sphere 30 feet further down this tunnel. He's going to stop at the sort of the junction here in the west where there's three rooms and just shout again, Hark, I haven't heard you surrender yet. You've got less than a minute. to put your arms down, throw your weapons down here, and beg for your life because we are taking it if you do not. You've eaten our friends, served them to your children. You have no right to live any further. So the sphere rolls down the hallway, preceding Jack, and you receive no response from Hark. You do hear a goblin call out to you in common. I'm not with him. Face the wall, put your weapons down, and we will be there shortly.

Yep, yep, yep, no problem. Doran, it's your turn. Doran proceeds up the hallway, a fair distance. And I guess I'm not rushing up this hallway because I do understand that my fellow explorers are flushing out the goblums kind of towards... Can you see flickers of the light of the flaming sphere bouncing down this tunnel?

Yes. Okay, so I can even proceed that. Yeah, yeah, obviously. So I'm not moving quickly. I'm just sort of waiting. Sure. Again, as the big brass door. Kralath, it's your turn.

I'm going to follow steps behind Doran, and I have my lantern out. It's aiming the light down the hallway, and we're not being particularly quiet, so I imagine the goblins are tuned into our presence. Maybe we're trying to be a little intimidating by I'm clashing my shield and my axe together. Yeah. Come on out. Yes. And I pat Doran on the shoulder, and I say, if you go down, Kalimvor will protect.

you thank you friend red it's your turn i think red is going to now move back to sort of his original position where he can see both the north and the more southern exits ultimately it doesn't benefit him to move into the center and he can move pretty quick so if he needs to he can run in if it comes down to it right but for now i think he's just going to wait on the exit who knows maybe there's a secret third exit and he's going to be very aware of his 360 surroundings in the what did we call it the lobby of this cave yeah uh listening to girls from Ipanema on the PA system. Jack's only focuses forward to find heart.

He's not looking back anywhere. He's determined. He's yelling, surrender at them, and just fire and vengeance. Red will be there when he's needed. And I will ready an action or hold an action just so that if any enemy pops into sight, I will fire. Okay. Jack. Jack rolls the flaming sphere in further

and trying to avoid anyone who's surrendered and got their hands up against the wall. like they said they would. Great. But if he sees somebody in there who's not, he's going to roll the sphere right into them. And you follow the sphere at a distance of about 15 feet? Yeah. So as you walk down this corridor, you see that there's a southern branching passage. And within that passage, it ends quite sharply in a small room. Within that room, there is a goblin who has got her hands over her head and she is looking at you from between her fingers. I will show back red. There's one in the tunnel to my left. I'm pressing on and keep moving

past, past her into the main chamber. Hark, where are you? I haven't heard you talk yet. You've only got a few seconds before we are going to bring the light of lethander down onto you. Jack, you can now see a small nugget of cave and cowering in the back of this cave nugget there is a woman terrified, cowering, a human woman. Doran? Doran continues to slowly creep up the passage. Uh, Krayloth, it's your turn. I'm going to follow Doran and, um, holding my lantern up and, um, say, it sounds like there

isn't any trouble up ahead. You'd think by now we'd hear something, like the squealing burn of a goblin. Stay sharp. I don't like this. Red? I will continue watching. I mean, by now, you'd hear you. Either they would be killing the chief or the chief has some sort of secret exit that he is used to

escape. But either way, I'm going to make sure that nothing gets past him. Jack? Yeah, so looking around, I see the terrified woman in the nook. Is there anything else of note in the room? There's a corpse of someone on the ground in front of me. I just want to take a minute to just see if I see any other passages in out. There are some rocks in the western part of this small cave beyond which there's a pile of equipment and weapons. I'm going to show it over to the woman. Friend, which way did the

goblin boss go? He went down the hall. He went down that hall. Hark, you'd better surrender and stop or there will be hell to pay. And I'm going to move the sphere down that hallway that he went. That pathway is blocked by the boulder. Oh, perfect. So I'll leave the sphere where it was then if it, if there's like, if that pathway is blocked and and rush over to the woman to try and make sure she's okay. Okay. So the hallway that she pointed that the goblin chieftain went down was the one that we had originally passed that was blocked by a boulder. Correct. So he could have gone to the boulder room or he could have gone towards us?

Yes, it's hard for her to see because she is a human like you. My goodness. She can't really see very well. I believe it's my turn, yeah? It is Dorn's turn. As I'm walking up the hallway slowly, I see the light of the flaming ball approached into the room. And then it comes right into the passageway in front of us. And it is now apparent that, well, I can hear Jack on the other.

side of the flaming ball talking and then in front of the flaming ball is a giant boulder and it's clear now that this is where the goblin chief could have escaped too. So based on the pincer movement that we had, he could have slipped past to that stream and essentially exited the cave or he went behind whatever this boulder is. Goblins are sneaky. They've been hiding all over the place. That's true. That's true. If a regular goblin can hide from us, the goblin boss can hide from us. Right. Kralath. When I hear Jack and this woman say that he ran down this time, tunnel, Krayloff's going to go into survival mode. And when he was traveling the mists alone,

looking for hunting the undead, he had to develop his tracking skills. So I'm going to do a survival check. Great idea. With a 17. And you're looking for the recent passage of these goblins? I'm looking for the recent passage of the freshest goblin footprints that I can find. You do not detect any recent passage. Being that, this is bare stone. You're not sure whether that's because there were no goblins that just passed by, or maybe you're unable to detect their passage. Then in that case, I'm going to kind of assume that he's gone into this room with the boulder. Red, do you continue to hold your action? You know what? Red is a little bit tired

of watching these two exits. I think, I noticed that there was a cave to the north of this sort of lobby area. I think Red's going to try to do a little bit of a sneak up there and see if he can't poke in just to sort of kill two birds with one stone or two goblins with one era. A little bit of reconnaissance. Bingo bango. Okay. Red, you leave the safety of your stalagmite shelter. And I will stealth.

Roll for it. 14. As you travel to the north exit from this cave, you see an eight-foot-wide fissure that splits this tunnel. As you approach, you would estimate the fissure to be about 20 feet deep. It looks ominous. Can I jump over it? Eight feet wide. That's not too bad.

You could definitely make an athletics check to jump. I think that's enough information for me. I'll continue following the wall and see if I can't check out one of the other passageways as well. There is a pond to your east. Okay. Jack? My name's Jack Page. What's your name?

Daphne. Daphne Featherstone. Were you sent by the lady? We came to Knightstone and then to hear. Thank you so much for rescuing me. Yes. You're safe now. Where's everybody else?

There's a cave. Oh, sorry. I've been in the dark for so long. No, I understand. It's just through the main passage across the way. Okay. You have to beware. There are thousands of bats, any, any sound. They come out of the floor and they fly around and tear us to shreds.

You have to be very quiet. Okay. That's good to know. Thank you. Is there anything else you can tell us about the cave? Is there anything besides the two ogres and the goblin families? we've no i the evil boss hark he heard you kill the ogres he knows i don't know where he's gone but it's cruel sounds it sounds so awful i'm so sorry we're we'll get you out of here and we'll

get you back safe and in this turn your flaming sphere winks out leaving you in the darkness with daphne dorn what happens now doran approaches the boulder that is got markings on it as though it's been moved before and I guess just push on it and see if it moves. With your tentative exploratory shove, you figure that you could roll it out of the way with a successful strength check athletics. Did I hear the conversation that went on? Yes. Okay.

Yeah. Sound echoes around the cave. You can even hear Red's footsteps as he pads around in the cavern. Okay. Perfect. Not very good, apparently. The worst at stuff. This is where I think my military rank then does kick in,

and I don't shoot first and ask questions later. In fact, I do the opposite, and I whisper to my fellow teammates here, I can move the boulder if necessary. What should we do? Perhaps we should. There's also a goblin in the other room there who surrendered. So we're still in the initiative?

Yeah, Kralath, it's your turn. I've just got a feeling. I'm going to go back south towards where the stream is. I'm going to walk around this stalagmite with my lantern. Sure. And I want to do a perception check just to completely be sure that he didn't come this way and is hiding and waiting to sneak past us. Roll perception.

So that's 20. You perceive no goblins hiding in the stream or playing peekaboo around the sides of the stalagmite. All right. And then feeling better, you know, that he's not going to be backstabbed. Kralov starts making his way back towards Doran. Red, what do you do know? I'm going to continue along the northeastern wall following this pool that you described to me. And I'm going to take a look at the northeastern cavern exit.

There is a shallow pool with a foul-smelling runoff that trickles into a cavern. Yeah, I'm going to continue sneaking. I can either continue my 14 or I can be rolled if you'd like. I think we'll just roll that 14 over. Perfect. Can I just say that I really appreciate that you are actually investigating the rest of the... Thank you. Same with Jack's Owl.

I really appreciate how you took the time to kind of explore so that we didn't have to spend all this time. Red, roll perception for me. Happily. Thirteen. You hear the sound of whispers and the flapping of wings. As you walk down the short tunnel, it slopes down. And you see a series of naturally teetheas. stone ledges that surround a sloping pit. Huddled in miserable groups, dozens of frightened commoners

turn their blind faces toward you in the darkness. It's very cold in here and you hear people whispering to each other trying to keep the children quiet. With a curious eye, I study them. And immediately my mind begins to race, you know, hearing the sounds of battle. Most people, especially prisoners that aren't being kept by any goblins or oakers would make it apparent that they are here. So something about this seems very off, and I immediately scan the ceiling for traps, things that might be significant, reasons they're keeping quiet. Sure. Roll another perception for me. No, much worse. You notice that the prisoner that's closest toward you is the only one that's making direct eye contact with you.

A dwarf who pulls his hand toward his face and quietly with him. shh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-harmes for daphne to sort of follow or do what you want he turns away and goes back to find this other goblin don't tell me what to do he doesn't he he lets her do whatever she's going to do but stands up daphne follows jack and uh marches towards the the other goblin who'd surrendered what's your name it's snig-bait all right Snigbate, what else do we need to know about this cave? If you're going to survive, you've got to be useful right now. Well, with Hark and the ogre's dead, I will be the one who's in charge of this goblin Warren, so I'd like to help you any way I can. Hark's not dead.

Well, he will be. You seem very capable. Where'd he go? I'm sure he's got himself plugged up in the larder. In the larder? Where he keeps all the goodies. Understood. If you don't mind, I'd like to keep as much of that as I can. Oh, definitely not. You've eaten people from my friend's town. I don't think you guys have any right to make any claim. All right. All right. Counter-offer? Nope.

You let me escape with the babies and we go free. I think you're going to tell me anything else I need to know. I heard about some bats over there. Is there anything else in this cave we need to be aware of? And then after this is done, we'll decide your fate. You'll be set forth in front of a trial of the highest order probably. A trial? No, thank you.

Snigbad, is there anything else we need to know about this cave? It's Snigbate, please. I wouldn't venture to the southeast too much unless you would like to become dinner. What's over there? A kind of goo that eats goblins. Stay away. Okay. Now, I'd like to go free, please.

I would like you to turn back around and be up against the wall until we're certain this is safe, and then we'll decide your fate. Of course. You don't want to end up like the ogres. Roll persuasion. Can I have advantage because we're really scary? Yeah. All right. Because that's a nine.

Yeah, sure. No problem. Mr. Wizard, Doran. I'm in the understanding that Hark is behind this door. So now the question is, how do we go about this? And I start to walk up this way towards the, towards Jack and the young lady. We should tell Red about the bats and the goo. That's right.

And I kind of do a whisper yell. Red, Red, Red, come back where we are. Roll for Whisper, Yale. Yeah, roll to, no. Okay, I think that's fair. Crayloth, what do you do? Crayloth's going to move towards the stone itself. And has someone done a perception check around the stone yet?

Yes, that was how we discern that there were some scrape marks that the stone had been lately moved. Right. Okay, in that case, I'm just going to move into it or towards it and wait for the party to get back, pull out some. of my travel rations and take a bite. Sure, you have a little snack. Yeah, some heart attack. So it sounds like you guys are just going to wait until Red comes back from his travels. We'll drop out of initiative order for now.

Red, what happens in the cavern? There's a dwarf standing in front of you with his fingers to his lips. So I walk over to him and I noticed other people whispering, so I'm assuming whispering is okay. It's very quiet. Yeah, and I literally put my lips right up to his ear and I say, my hello, you remind me of my good friend Doran. What's your name? Just what every dwarf wants to hear.

I've got another friend, Dwarf. You're just like him. Red loves dwarfs. He has never seen them from where he's from. They are the apple of his eye. He loves them. And this little man has excited him beyond anything else that he has experienced so far. I love dwarves.

Moradin, right? Am I right, Moradin? Yeah, exactly. You like Moritin. My friend mentions Moritin. Let's be friends. What's your name? My name is Morak. Morak? Doran mentioned you. You're from Nightstone. Yes. Please. Is it safe to leave? Yes. Why has everyone been so quiet? It's very dangerous. There are hundreds, thousands of paths.

Wow. Okay. Yes. The path to the exit is clear. Come with me now. in a single file line very quietly, and we can guide you towards the exit. Of course. Red, thank you. And he turns his back toward you and slowly start. And as he does, I like pat his,

the back of his, like, head a little bit. Turns around and gives you a foul glare. I'm just, like, beaming in, like, the most innocent. Like, it's not a, you know, with Red, it's just a very, like, innocent sort of naive misunderstanding and acceptance. It's like smelling a baby. Moroc goes from group to group and quietly. informs them what is happening.

You hear the very hushed whispers of the dwarf talking quietly to different families, and he slowly brings them down the steps of these stone platforms and leads them out into the cavern where Red, you're waiting for them. Yeah, and I just, like, point towards the exit and kind of guide them that way. Yeah, they're all super blind. Well, I figured if Moroc can see, because he's a dwarf. He's the only one. I would sort of make them put their hands on his belt and put their hands on their belt,

I would conga line to the exit. I would argue these are townsfolk that have known each other. I mean, I'm sure they can put hand on shoulder. Oh, yeah, absolutely. They're all clustered together. Can I just say, though, how scary that would be to be completely surrounded by darkness. And then, like, you know that there are bats here that are going to eat you if they wake up. And you have to, as a parent, get your children to be quiet in the darkness that they can't see it all.

They're afraid. and if they kick a stone, like the amount of responsibility that each one of those citizens is taking to get out alive. It's almost a quarter of our responsibility. It's crazy. As Red shepherds these villagers

quietly through the cavern with the help of Moroc, Kieran comes back to you, Jack. Perfect. And... Well, there's no goblins in the hallway. That's great. Can you go find Red?

Yeah. He's over in the cavern there somewhere. Just go get him and tug on in a little bit to know that we need him over here. Course! Fine! The owl arrived, talked to Jack, and then flew through the cavern to land on Red's shoulder. So the owl lands on my shoulder as the last of the people. In the congline fashion, are being led by Morak to the exit of the cave.

And this is something that, obviously, Jack keeps with him all the time. And I realize it's time to go back. So I turn around, a skull across the cave towards a northern entrance. and sort of nervously with my bow drawn to enter because who knows this could have been like a warning sign but then I see them sort of standing around. Kralath is having a snack. I would have instructed Morak

to just keep them outside the cave's entrance until we return. Thank you. Great. That all happens. The villagers are successfully shepherded quietly through the cavern to the cave entrance and Red, you come back to your friends with Kieran perched on your shoulder.

Did you find him? I didn't hear any combat sounds. Well, Snigbat here. says that Hark has locked himself in the larder. They would like us to depose Hark and take the goblins elsewhere. I think that's a conversation we can have after we find Hark.

Well, good news. I have saved all the townspeople and your friend Morak all outside the front of the cave. Hey, you were busy out there. I had to take a few ogres of my own, but you know, quickly dispatched.

That's incredible. You didn't take out any ogres. You got that look in your eye. I almost did. is pretty funny. Red, did you bring those manacles? I did, actually, yeah, and I pull them out of my bag. I just motioned a snake bat. Is your name snake bat?

You had... Sink bait. Sorry, I screwed it up before. So, uh, Red, you push your way past Jack to where the goblin is sitting on the floor. And I pull out the large human-sized manacles from my bag and I put them on the goblin's arms. Do they even, do this slide off? Uh, they'll do for now, but you wouldn't want to leave the goblin unattended necessarily. I'll just start tying up with a rope and say, well, you're a little guy. We saved all the towns foe.

know. Do you use your rope to tie up the goblin? Yeah, sure. Okay. And then I turn to the other three and Kray Loth, who's having a snack. Ooh, can I have a bit of that? Yeah, help yourself. I got more if anybody likes hard tack. It's a little dry, but... So this large boulder, then, this must be the ladder. I'm sorry, did you say you save the townsfolk? Yes. That's wonderful. Do you want to escort Daphne outside, Red? Sure. Please. Okay. Oh, and here. And I'm going to pull out some rations, and I'm going to give them to Daphne and say, bring them to the villagers. It's not much for now, but I know you're hungry. Thank you.

We're starving. Yeah, and I bring her out and drop her off. She gratefully follows you through the dark. And then you return to your friends. Yeah, and I just tell everyone to stand off to the side as they're outside. Just calm down. We'll be back in a minute. Got some more work to do.

And I head back inside. Hark, are you behind this boulder? No answer. No, hark. I'm a bag of flour. This is like in Goblin School, they teach you how to act coy. Because the other goblin did that and the other letter. I can't hear you.

Yeah, I don't want to say it. In what order are we going? When the goblin is revealed to red, he's going to fire his arrow. Okay. When the goblin is revealed to Kralath, he's going to use sacred flame. Okay. Yeah, if the two of them attack something, I'm going to toll the dead. On that same thing?

Yep. Okay. I think I have to athletics check you asked me. You do have to make an athletics check. Please try to roll the boulder out of the way. Eight. You fail. I give it a shove and it only moves slightly.

Did you want to get some help from Kralath who's standing with you? Yeah. Kralath, I misjudged. Give me a second push here. So you're going to take the help action, which means that Doren can use advantage to try again. And he cannot ready then. No, I cannot ready, but I will be in the initiative order.

So you'll get two die for this roll. Yeah, so you're rolling with advantage. Oh, so I'm rolling again now this time with advantage. That's right, because Kralath is helping you. Thank you for this, Kralath. 15? The boulder rolls slowly at first and then smoothly down into this cave. And the goblin on the other side of the boulder tries to attack you with his scimitar.

Everyone roll for initiative, please. Kralath. Two. Hmm. Jack? 11. Doran? 18.

Red. Seven. Okay. So this goblin is going to use his readied action to attack Doran, and then we're going to go through everyone else's prepared actions. So he's going to try to hit you now with his scimitar. That's a 19 to hit. Oh, he does hit.

Four piercing damage. Okay. Or sorry, for slashing damage. So now I believe red can see the goblin. The goblin's going to have a little bit of coverage. just because of the boulder and your friend who's in the way. Did you want to try to hit him with your arrow? I see the goblin.

I attack. 11. No, that fails. Damn! My arrow goes flying, and then I shout out to Kraloff. I said, let's do the old one, too, and I knock another arrow. I'm ready. Doran, it's your turn.

You see the goblin that just sliced you with his scimitar, and then a little bit further into this small, dark cave you see Hark. He's ready for you. What do you do? I grin. And I say, a hark in the dark. Good line. And then I attack, and then I attack the goblin that's directly in front of me.

Okay. An 11. You miss the goblin and he cackles at you. Jack, it's your turn. Is there a way to push through back behind red where I could see into this cave? Yes, you can move through friendly squares. It just counts as difficult terrain, so it'll eat up a little bit, extra movement. I think you can get back there easily.

I get back into line of sight and I will hold my oar about and it glows slightly with this energy that calls life to it and just before it brings this big dollaris like boom through the cave. I'll say, hark, surrender. You don't want to die this way. Actually, I don't roll anything, but I would like the goblin in front to roll a save. You're attacking this minion goblin?

Yeah. That fails within 11. We can take one whole damage. Woo-hoo. Red, it's your turn. Then I will attack the goblin in front With a 12 Sorry, that doesn't hit

Damn! Shameful die Us big badass heroes, look at us Hark pulls a javelin off of his back And tries to aim down the hallway He doesn't have much of a sight But he can see Doran Doran, you're going to have three quarters cover

So plus five bonus to your AC gives you a 23 Correct Let me see if he can even hit you with that No, there's no chance So he just throws a javelin down the passageway and bounces ineffectually off of the rocks. The goblin is going to try to stab you again, Doran.

That fails. He doesn't do that. I will therefore use my repost. Nice. At a boy. There we go. And I dispense one of my superior dye. So a 15 to hit?

Yes. 16. Yeah, he's dead. Oh, yeah. Nice. Excellent. What does that look like? Doran just swore.

just swings his axe and insert of a j and takes off one arm and both legs. Oh boy. The torso is cleanly severed. And he just kind of flops and he's got one arm and he bleeds out pretty quickly. Ready for eating. Your next hark. So that was the goblin's turn technically. Kralath.

It's your turn now. I'm going to cast my divine domain, channel divinity. I'm going to use it for the first time. this is the one and the old one, two, path to the grave. Oh, yeah. And as an action, I get to choose one creature I can see within 30 feet of me, cursing it until the end of my next turn. Fuck you!

And next time, me or my ally hits the cursed creature with an attack, the creature has vulnerability to all the attacks damage. Wow. All the attacks damage. And then the curse ends. Sick. So I'm shunning that. He's ready for you, Red.

I'm on it, buddy. It's Doren's turn now. Oh. Because that was your repost, not your actual turn. That's right. So now you get to go. So I move in. Yep.

Directly in front. Okay. You're going to stand right in front of Hark. I'm mindful of a party behind me. Sure. So I even move in and out of their way, southeast of Hark. Great. And I just do a normal attack.

15. You miss. Oh. You move into the room and Hark dodges around you as you try to maneuver into an advantageous position. My act's. clangs against the wall. Die, dwarf. Jack, it's your turn.

Hark, you've lost all your chances, and I hold this orb out again, and it just glows with a pulse of energy, and boom, this sound rolls out towards him. Hark hasn't taken any damage yet? No, and I rolled a natural 20 on my wisdom save. So then he definitely saves. It's just a big booming sound.

Red, it's your turn. I will do the old one, too, and fire at the son of a bitch. Are you going to move in past the boulder? I'm picturing you like running, grabbing onto the wall, jumping on top of the boulder and firing down from the top of it. I'm going to do that. Why don't you make an acrobatics check for me to see if that happens? I'll do an acrobatics check, I suppose.

All right. Uh, 15. Yeah, you do that. I run along the wall with my claws and pounce off with my bow in the air and I would pull back and fire down on hark. This is Chester. Come on, Chester. 17. You hit exactly.

Oh, yeah. So we got regular damage. Hunter's mark, which I've had on him forever. Cool. And this is what? Vulnerable. Vulnerability. Yeah, he's vulnerable.

So whatever we get here, it's going to be doubled. That's right. And he does not have any hit points lost, correct? No, but you could kill him here. No. So I rolled four plus five, so nine. He is vulnerable to all. of that damage. So he takes 18 points

of damage. But, despite the fact that your arrow is sticking out of his chin, as it has gone through his throat, he's still standing. And he takes a swipe at you, Red. He misses twice. Red, nimbly dodges from both of the attacks. And then he sticks his tongue out. Nice, Red.

Kralath, what do you do? I'm going to open up my lantern and say good hit friend and as I open the lantern a radiant light envelops the goblin and sacred flame he's got to do a dexterity saving throw that's a four oh that's not enough he's going to take six points of damage as hark's body falls to the ground and shrivels up into a pile of ash. Kraloth, your lantern illuminates a wooden chest.

Looks like we're going to be rewarded for our troubles, boys. Excellent. There is a lock on the chest. What do you guys do? Well, first, I'm going to congratulate my best friend. I'm going to come, bring it in, buddy.

That was amazing. You jumped on top of the boulder. That was incredible. My goodness. That'll want, too. That's the first time that it's actually worked. But don't tell them that. Oh, well, we've done that before, I mean.

I mean, but... How cool did that look, though, guys? We have awful work in front of us. How can you celebrate right now? Every little victory is a time for celebration, I say. We take the good with the bad. That's right. It's just a goblin.

Don't let it ruin our fun. Trayloth, we did well. I want to find out what's in this here box. Me too. And while they're talking, that's exactly why I hack at the lock what are you doing door lock is it locked yeah yeah yeah if you handle the lock roughly it falls apart because uh good good going door i wind up my axe and i look at the lock and it falls yep but that's not that's all i want

to do i take the lock off and i actually head back into the north of the cavern you don't even open up the treasure chest no i'll leave it for these guys there was There is a pile of equipment or something up here. Yes, there was. I want to go search that. There's also the body. The body, we never investigated it, I don't think. No, we'll do a general looting phase, I think.

So, yeah, we'll open the chest together as friends. And take out the studded leather armor and put it on me. We open it together, and then it's like a view from inside of us, like, peering in, and the glow of studded leather armor. You find 12 gold pieces, 55 silver pieces. and 87 copper pieces, so a not insubstantial amount of money. A goblin treasure hoard. Do you have coins with you? You find a matching pair of silver salt and pepper shakers.

You could get those appraised in town. Are they more than 100 years old? I can determine the monetary value of art objects more than a century old. You know what? Yes, they are. Those are antiques. You would ascertain that they're worth 10 gold pieces separate each, or for the set, 25 gold pieces.

I know exactly who I could sell those two. So, you know, Kralath and I are, like, excited about our combat, and Jack's like, we have a lot of heavy work. And then he sees salt and pepper shakers. And he's like, whoo, who! But you have to understand that there's artistry in there. That's a real significant... Well, we did artistry, too.

Didn't you see the way the arrow flew through his brain? They're over 100 years old. And a goblin's chest, these perfect silver salt and pepper shakers? I mean, can you imagine what they've been through? Jack, I am happy. I love that you're excited about this, but don't poop on our parade. Sorry, you're right. No, it's okay.

We're learning together as friends. And they're great salt and pepper shakers. I'm like pickling up very roughly, and I'm like handling it. Ooh, salt, perfect, salt, perfect. Those belong in a museum. You also find a bloodstained leather case. I perked up so much when you said leather. You think I could fashion this into armor.

It contains a complete set of thieves tools. Oh, I would love to take those. Put that on your sheet then. Your brother doesn't have it to write it all down. A holy symbol of some kind. Carved from wood and inlaid with gold. Is it over 100 years old? Yes.

I guess maybe it's not an art object, though. No, it's not. It's a holy object. I'm just going to write this all down and divvy it up after. Holy symbol. And there is a spell scroll case. Ooh. Is it filled with studded leather?

Mama? Let me take a quick look at that. Scroll of studded leather armor. Could you imagine? If I open up the case, is it clear what's inside? You would have to unroll the parchment and read it to yourself. I may take a, maybe we'll do that afterwards. Sure. So you have found a spell scroll of some kind.

While they're looking in the chest and Red's excited about the thieves tools that he's just found, I'm going to do a perception check around the rest of the murder. Yeah, I think Doran had also wanted to go back into the main room. and you find him siving through the weapons. You find nine spears, five clubs, two daggers, and six mundane wooden shields. I think, as I'm like walking back out, we should arm the townsfolk for our return to nice. That is a great idea. Oh, thank you.

All right? Well, load me up, Red. Snake bait has been tied up in the other room. going to slip in and just ask her real quick, the cave to the southeast. Is there anything of value in there? No, of course not. Can I do an insight to see if she's lying? Sure. 13? She doesn't know. Okay. Fair enough. Well, you're going to come with us regardless. Lastly, I just want to check that body. Okay. It's a, it's a human, or it was, until recently a human, there's nothing of value on it besides some strips of flesh. So you're saying the strips of flesh are

valuable? Can you make studded leather arm on the head of them? Well, no, the way he said, there's nothing of value except for the strips of flat. You could make jerky. Ooh. Well, we've already had some of my human, I mean, rabbit jerky. Well, then I think we should take snake bait out to the townsfolk. Let's, yeah, we've got 14 goblin children and snake bait that we need to do something. I don't think it's our decision, but I think maybe we go speak with Morak if he's the representative from the town.

If there's no anyone else there who would, we could also try and find any of the bodies of, of the rest of the townsfolk out of this cave and see if we can give them a proper burial. It's awful business here. I would like to speak with Morak, see what he would like to do with this. Morak? Did you say Morak? Yes, Dorf. You found him.

Well, yes, I did. We have to say hello to my friend, Morak. Okay, all right, this is amazing. Well, it looks like we're all done up here. I've got a handful of weapons in my arms. Why don't we head out to the villagers? So the four of you head toward the exit of the cave with the goblin as prisoner.

And I think Krayloff is bringing all the weapons and stuff for the town's foot. I've got all the weapons in my arms. Maybe Doren takes the initiative and walks outside of the cave. Uh, greets Morak. By the hammer of Moradin. Oh. Is that Doran iron fist? It's good to see you, Morak.

And we embrace each other with a big, strong, short hug. Ready so happy. Reunions. Aren't they great? I knew the lady Nanda would be sending out for our safe return. And it's such a pleasure to see you again. How'd she get her hands on door and Iron Fist? Well, that's a long story, and I'm sure we'll have lots of time to catch up.

Yes. Perhaps over a few pints. But for now, I don't mean to rush you, but we need your attention as sort of a leader from your townspeak here. If we could have a few minutes of your time and follow me in. Anything. What can I do for you? Come speak with my party of adventures here. And he follows you into the cave. Hello, I was the one that saved you.

Yes, hello. This is red. This tall human here is Kralath. Good to meet you. Hello. And this half elf, very wise and knowledgeable and magic, is... I'm Jack. Jack Page.

I'm a friend of Lady Nandars. Greetings, Jack, yes. Hello. There's some news of the town. Do you represent them as best there is? at the moment? I'm a de facto leader, yes, as it is. Lady Nandar perished when a stone fell on her. No. Sadly, yes. I saw the keep bludgeoned by boulders, but I had hoped the lady was alive. After you had retreated to these caves, goblins came and picked over the town. We'd caught them in the act. We'd received a letter from the lady asking for help with the elves. There were also that woman,

Kella, who was in your inn. Yes. She was of the Zantarum. They had sent bandits to come to the town. They found it picked over. They've... Scum! Yes.

And Alara, a guardswoman, she's in the keep... She's working with them for now. She'd changed sides, but promised to change sides again and let us into the town that's now occupied by these Zentarum bandits and whoever else has come up in the last day or two when we get back. I know, I know Alara. She's good people. Okay, so I'm sure she acted out of desperation.

Yes. And before we can even get to deal with that bloody business, we've got Snigbet here and 14 goblins that we need to do something with. I don't know if that's... Let me see him. Stink butt! You! He shoulders his way past you toward the goblin who coweres away from him.

The likes of you were eating us, eating the villagers. We must just kill it. Does the goblin say anything in response or defense? No, that's not necessary. I will go away. You'll never see me again. These goblins have wronged you and your townspeople. As the de facto leader, I believe it is fair for you to decide their fate. Kill it now. And the children? They'll die without it. Allow me, old friend.

And I lift up my axe and bring it down upon the skull of the goblin. And I take my rope back. I just know Doran is going to eat that goblin. How would you cook up a goblin? Let us know on Twitter with a hashtag Dyshane podcast, and you could be next week's MVP. I'm excited to hear your recipes. See you next time. I feel like you could remix this into like guthrie noises.

Help me Fart Fart Help me Fart Somebody Fart Somebody

Fart Fart Very Farts Fartes Fartes Fartes Very

Fartee Somebody Somebody Somebody sample those I can't find it It doesn't matter Thank you.