Dice Shame - 96 | 'Bitten By The Same Bug'

Episode Date: August 12, 2021

Traps, puzzles and more sinister fates await the team as they push further into the dungeon... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys, we found a human head! Oh, harsnag, come on! I don't know, none of them are making sense to me. I really like to think of it as Babe Ruth with the action. Ah, damn! You're welcome. I missed. Getting the sense this isn't a lightning one.

Roll too early, little man. That means a lot to me, red. Come on, try to hit me! Krayloth has your back, and he wants you to know it. Spit him out and take me on, you bastard! That's all right. You guys will take care of it. I hate to be running away, but that's what I'm doing. Welcome back to Dyshame, episode 96, bitten by the same bug.

MVP this week goes to Lewis, who just left us a lovely review on Podchaser. Lewis is on episode 37 right now, but he's very excited to catch up. When you hear this, buddy, thank you. Thanks, Lewis. If you want to hear your name at the top of the show, you can leave your own review on your podcast client of choice, or come hang out with us on Discord, Twitter, or Facebook, pretty much in that order. It's where all the cool kids are. Hey, friends, you know what? Get vaccinated.

Look, we've collectively suffered enough and we're ready to get back out there. If you're on the fence about getting vaccinated, educate yourself. And then get vaccinated. Life's too short and you don't need yours to be any shorter. It's the smart play. Yeah, you dummy. You're ready to do this? Yeah, let's do it.

Yeah. I had my parents over recently for the first time since the pandemic hit. I was there. It was really nice. I loved every second of it. We loved every second of it. The royal weed. But you know, parents.

No, we loved every second. At least my parents, you know. They got their quirks, their little idiosyncrasies. I love you, mom and dad, if you guys are listening. They're not. Episode 96. They're listening to them. They listen to malevolent, though, as you should.

Listener. They're absolutely not listeners of. shame or any D&D product, really. Imagine if my parents were secretly like critical role fans or something. That would be cool. Well, we tried to get them to play a board game with us and that didn't last. It didn't go very well. We tried betrayal at House on the Hill.

Oh, yeah. Because I kind of thought it's pretty basic. It is pretty basic. But we got to the betrayer mechanic, the part where it turns. And at that point, my mom had asked about six times. So how many squares do I get to me? Oh, no. Just speed, Lori.

Lori. It's on the card in front of you. It's right in front of you. It was great. Sweet woman. Hey, they tried, which is more than my parents probably would. They'd be like, no. Do you want to try a board game?

Nah. Actually, I was going to say, that's not fair, but yeah, it's very true. Well, we tried to play a game with them a couple of nights ago, and they were not interested. Yeah, I asked them. I said, do you want to play family food? They're like, no, we'll just leave. I jokingly said to my dad, I was like, oh, we should get you to D&D sometime because, you know, Little Henry loves D&D, Alex loves D&D, I love D&D.

He was like, nah. It's like, you know what? I'm just too old for that. I think a couple of kids in their dad really could make a great podcast at a D&D. I don't think that anybody was ever done that. I know. I don't think so. The zone of adventuring.

That's what we'll call it. Dad zone adventure. Adventure time. The dad zone party. Got me thinking, you know, we know a lot about Jack's relationship with his parents. We've heard about, you know, his dad, his mom. What's going on there. He's got some issues.

It's true. He's got some issues. There's a bit of a complicated relationship, but we haven't heard but any of the other characters and the party in their relationship with their families. True, true. Well, we've heard some. Actually, we've heard some of Doran. Right. But not so much his parents, more so his ex.

Lover. His ex-X. Oh. That's right. As in she died. She's his late ex. Yes, ex-X. Well, we know Red's father, because Red's father.

because Red's father is also Jack's father. Secret half-brothers! That wouldn't that be a twist for the ages? Oh, it explains so much. Oh, my God. It kind of would, though. It would suddenly, everything would click. It'd be like, oh.

And then we could do the whole Kevin Kossner Robin Hood thing, where I can turn and be like, what is your issue? Because our father loved you more than me. Good old Christian Slater. Can't wait for the like body swap episode. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm writing that one right now.

Episode 100. Oh, no. Kralov doesn't know his family, I guess. Or doesn't remember them? Maybe you do. Kralov has never really talked about his family all that much. Nobody's ever asked. But, yeah, Kralov might have a family.

It hasn't fully solidified, but there are definitely connections that he has in Borovia. He has mentioned his brother. Yes. But we don't know if that's like a combat brother, you know, where you're like brothers in arms or if that's your actual brother. Let's just say that Kralov wasn't born in a void. He's, he's forgotten a lot of his. Spoilers.

What? He wasn't birthed as a god into the nothingness. There was the classic form of conception. Hey, let's talk about how all our characters were conceived. What did those look like? Yeah. It was a hot and steamy night in Mazdica. I could see Red's, like, birth story, you know,

in a film where it starts off in a litter and the camera slowly pans over all these little fuzzy creature and he's like, I was born one of 50 in the camera. I don't know, for some reason I feel like Red's theatrics would work well to a weird David Fincher film.

I feel like you could start that way. You got this little basket of kittens and you're supposed to think it's red and then Red scoops the basket up and says, can I keep them all? I also love the idea of Red sitting in a booth and recording a narration and not getting distracted. What is this?

Well, my favorite part from episode 91, I think it was, is where Red learned how to take care of an Umber Hulk. And we do a smash cut to being water deep and him talking to a homeless person and just be like, Oh, it's going to rain today. And Red being like, that's right. I could take care of it. And I feel like a lot of his birth would be like that. I like the acrostic poem.

The acrostic poem was pretty good. Oh, that's got to be on a T-shirt, by the way. I made a note for that. Or a sticker. Umber, umber, uh, cross-tick poem sticker. Dorn, what about your family? I'm actually trying to, um,

he's got this brother and his real, you know, relationship with him. They butt heads a lot. Yeah. Buthead. Well, I mean, dwarves are not really the most, um, nurturing. Well, well, dwarves come from eggs, right?

So, according to our lore. This is canon. They don't. I was looking at up. I don't brew, but. I know they don't, but I know they don't. But I'm laughing because I'm pretty sure it might have been... Alex asked that question.

In episode one, I think. No, you know what? I think it was the how we met Patreon exclusive. Yeah. Because we recorded a pre-intro for patrons only where we're talking about our characters. And I'm pretty sure there's a line in there where Alex goes, I think dwarfs are born in A. Well, I mean...

Just imagining the mom dwarf like sitting on her little clutch. I'm thinking what happened was Alex was reading the dwarf description and then turned the page and accidentally turned too many pages to the dragon board description. I don't know that I buy dwarves aren't nurturing. They're maybe not nurturing in the way we think of, but there's definitely this like push all the beds together, you know, the dwarven style of organizing a room. I think there's some of that that could read nurturing and other... But did he get that from his goblin wife? Maybe the goblins are nurturing. No, I think, you know, Doran was born and then like shortly after you're born,

you're kind of sent to like a very harsh, strict sort of school that's almost like work, and then you start work. An apprenticeship. Life's hard in the Grey Peaks. Yeah. And then you grow older and you don't, there's not much that change. I mean, your beard starts when you're, you're done, about 30 years old. Do you think, or do you think beards come early on dwarves, you know? Like six months in?

Yeah, like five years old. Well, 30 is young for a dwarf. I wonder, though, you know how some babies are born? with hair. I wonder if there are dwarves that are born with these like slick beards. Quick side note,

why the fuck do some kids get born with hair? What the fucks up with babies? They're so weird. They're lucky. It depends on how much vegetables you eat. It's true.

It's directly linked to your cucumbers status. The mom or the baby. ate too many cucumbers. That kid's got a beard. Doran was an only child though.

Oh. And I grew up amongst yeah, as most dwarves are only children. And, you know, it's sort of weird, but there's a lot of inbreeding that goes on. We're learning so much. I learned that for most mammals, as far as, like, the females of the species go, usually they have as many kids in, like, a litter as they have nipples divided by two.

So usually, because, like, humans have two nipples. So dwarves have one nipple? That's a fascinating math. Because you don't want to have to fight for a nipple. No, evolution. is fascinating. Yeah, that's interesting. Dwarves had no siblings.

What, you know, it kind of makes sense because... Not all dwarves. Doren. Doren, I do think, has a, you know, a brotherly love for these people. And I do get a lot of sort of shyness at times from Doren, too. And it kind of makes sense that he's an only child because, you know, maybe these are his brothers and he is feeling an element of that, like, hesitancy where you're like, you know, you didn't grow up with that familial connection.

So now you're sort of testing the waters with these new people. Well, yes and no. I mean, most dwarves are single, only childs. And, you know, you go to school, everybody's only child. So you do have this more of like this. Solitary. Solid. This, not necessarily solid. Like, you've got, you know, I've got that I can rely on people.

But I guess it comes when it comes down to the emotional side of things, that's where it is. That's what I'm saying. Literally, you said, not really, and then confirmed exactly what I'm saying. Brothers, brothers, brothers. Yeah, exactly. So who's then the, like, master who taught Doran the craft? And what's the, like, is that a more important relationship? Who taught Doran to be the Iron Fist, you know, builder that he is?

That would be his uncle. His uncle. Yeah. His mother's, his mother's brother. Uncle Bronze Fist. A monkey cycle. You better than me, iron fished. Do you have a middle name, Doran?

Is it your uncle's name? Morin. Doran, Morin, Ironface. I do have a middle name, but you don't want to spoil it yet. No, it's going to be a plot point. It's coming up. Yeah, it'll be like... It's clarion, actually.

Doran, Johannes. Wait, he's got my middle name too. Uncle. Actool. That's it. Actual. Doran Actul Iron fist. That sounds very gobbling.

Cool. I like it. Actually. Actually. What about kids, Doran? What about, uh... I'm not telling you yet. Whoa.

There's a little... Keep your secrets. You know what's going to happen? I will keep mine. Doran's going to die. And then Alex is going to show up with a new character and he's going to like emerge in the shadows.

It'll be a half-goblin-looking Doran motherfucker. He's going to be like, Hi. I am Snark, Iron Fist. I love it. A cremelot iron fist. I want to meet Snark. Well, I guess there's only one way

to find. find out if Doran has any kids. We've got to play this game. Let's play some Dungeons and Dragons. Let's play, guys. Are we ready? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.

So Krayloff turns to Doran and says, Hey, Doran, you have any kids? That you know of. All right, so you wake up after your long rest. You have been, you know, just relaxing on these huge stone benches. these giant-sized benches and everything is covered in a layer of frost. You are deep in the temple of Anam and it's so cold that you can see your breath. Oh, GM, I believe you put me to bed with an ice shard.

Do you want to know what it does? Yes, please. Shard of the ice. It has the following properties. Internet shut down. Which only work while it's on your person. So here's what happens. So as an action, you can touch a body of water and freeze the water in a 10-foot radius sphere around the spot you touched.

Once you use that property, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest. You have resistance to fire damage because you are a frost friend. Icey mantle, as an action you can touch yourself or another creature with water on your finger. The water creates an icy mantle of protection. The next time, within the next minute that the target takes bludgeoning, slashing piercing damage, the damage is reduced to zero. zero and the mantle is destroyed. Once you use this property, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

And then Winter's Howl as an action you can cast Slate Storm with a spell save DC of 17. You regain this ability after you finish a short or long rest. And then Gift of Frost. You can transfer the shards magic to a non-magical item like a cloak or a pair of boots.

Actually, it's not like. It's either a cloak or a pair of boots. By tracing the ice ruin there with your finger. The transfer takes eight hours of work, requires the two items to be within five feet of each other. At the end, the shard is destroyed. The ruin appears on the chosen item, and then it gains one of the following effects. The cloak would become a rare magic item that requires attumment, and while wearing it, you have resistance to fire damage and advantage on decks, stealth checks made while on snowy terrain, or if it's on boots, the pair of boots is now a rare

magic item that requires attunement while wearing it. You ignore difficult terrain while walking, and you can walk on water. Wow. Holy fuck. So that's called the shard of the ice ruin. Holy shit. Cool though. Quick question just before we move on.

Does the ruin on the ice thing compare to any of the runes in the main hall? That's a good question. It does. So I don't know how well you all slept, but here we are after your long rest. Red sits up and his teeth immediately start chattering. God, who left the window open? Oh, right. We're in the middle of a temple.

I don't know about you guys, but I slept pretty well. You sleep well everywhere. That's true. Yeah, I've slept in worse conditions. I'm not going to deny it. All Jack could think about last night was that picture of Kieran running away from a boulder. And then in his dreams, it was just Kieran running and running closer and closer. And so the first thing he does waking up in the morning is start a little fire with the incense and the charcoal.

and take the hour to summon Kieran back. Aw. Yeah, and Kralov's going to do his prayers. All right, Doran and I will walk the perimeter. And I think Doran and I head out. So, Doran, any brainwaves about this weird little sigil-looking lock in front of the thing in the main hall? And red gestures back to where they came from. Well, you mean the runes?

The runes that are in the semicircle? Yeah, the runes. Yeah. Hmm. I don't know. None of them are making sense to me. You know, I really, I kind of look at Jack for some of this sort of stuff. Hey, well, in yourself.

But, I mean, I suppose if one of us had to, you know, run in there, I could volunteer myself because I do think probably of the lot of us, I could probably take the biggest hit of whatever is beyond that gate. I don't know, the Giants got some hit points too, friend. Oh, oh, yeah. And I think Red pulls out the ice shard that he attuned to and sort of just toys with it in his hand and turns to Doran's just,

this thing is pretty powerful. I wonder if maybe that has something to do with the runes. I don't know. What do you think you can do with it? I don't know. And he opens his canteen and he pours a little puddle of water on the floor and he touches the run to it.

And before your eyes, it freezes solid. Wow. Is that coincidence or is it? Is that what it's supposed to do? Like, is it that cold in here? I don't believe in coincidence, because I don't know what it means. Yeah. So it matches one of the ruins in the semicircle.

I wonder what this all means. There's got to be something that's linking them together. Oh, this is making my head hurt. If there's anything that we learned, it's that we need to fully explore an area before moving forward. So maybe the answer will present itself. I'm feeling the cold air, and I was watching just before we started walking the perimeter, I was watching Jack build this little fire. When we finished walking the perimeter, I crack a couple of broken chairs and stuff.

And I build a little fire. Start making a coffee. Next to Jack's fire? Yeah. So there's two discreet fires. Yeah. You can use my fire if you want, Red. No, I feel like Jacks is a ceremonial fire.

It's got all the incense and the rooms. It's also something funny, too, about seeing Doran stick a pot into his ceremonial fire. You're not using this, right? It's just at that climactic moment. The pot goes on, and Kieran leaps fully formed right above the pot. Through the, out of the spirit realm, this heavenly golden retriever. And then Doran, like, the drunk bum in the movie that, like, takes a double look and then looks at what he's drinking and tosses it away. He, like, picks up the pot and, like, looks inside and he's like, oh, did I do that?

Summon Cure and what's the pot. That's exactly what I was thinking, yeah. I didn't realize I had little doggies in it. By the way, just one of my favorite tropes in the world is that bum where he's like, checking that is. I need to quit drinking. Checking that his coffee cups not full of whiskey. So great. What is that?

Teen's Mean Ninja Turtles? I don't know. I feel like it happens so much in movies but when you think about it's probably only once or twice but it's definitely like a trope This back to the future maybe

I don't know Yeah no you know what It might be like Terminator or something When they come back in time Yeah You know what you're thinking He's just like And he's always overacted

Maybe it's some character actor Like Bill Murray every once in a while And he like looks it And he's like I need to quit drinking And he throws it away And he walks off the camera It's fucking so good

I want to be that guy You can I think there's this moment before Doran and Red get back where Jack pauses his spell carefully to go to Crail and say, hey, what do you think about making him wait 10 extra minutes so we can get some other spells going? Your detect magic would have been real handy last time. I'm sure they'll sit tight and won't get into any trouble. Yep, fine by me. Take the time you need. Hey guys, we found a human head. Yeah, and I've walked through the run circle. Of course. Cool. So what kind of spells are you guys laying down?

Or do you... I was going to comprehend languages again. Comprehend languages, love it. Yeah. Detect magic. Cool. So, comprehend languages, Bzium.

Detect magic. Bsium. Bzium. Yes. There's slightly different intonations. Cool. You got your buffs active. Harshnegg is just patiently waiting.

He's honing his magical battle axe on some kind of honing. Pigeon. implement that he has going on and you guys are ready to go just to remind you you're on the second story of these waiting benches or like sleeping bunks it's not really clear and then on the main floor of this temple is where you have the huge room with all of these massive statues of giants there's a portal on one side there are a couple of hallways leading out to the west, and then there are some double doors to the south that you have not yet interacted with.

I think we should probably investigate the doors to the south there before we continue to poke at these runes. There's got to be some more clues around here. I think that's a good call. Really? Let's go. You really think so? Of course. Doran, you're a seasoned warrior and adventurer. I trust you. Well, thanks. Red died that night. Trusting Dorn was the last. mistake he made. So you guys want to go investigate these southern doorways? Yeah. Oh, that means a lot

to me, read that you actually trusted my judgment sometimes. What does? What? Who? Oh, what do you mean? And Doran just continues walking south. All right. Detect magic is all set.

Lead the way, Doran. You head on back through this massive chamber. Again, everything is just bathed in a dim blue light that's originating from the eastern wall. And the room is like 300 feet wide. So it's super huge. Super huge. The glow itself is like this weird mist that's kind of swirling in what looks like this doorway.

And then on the ground around it are arranged these runes. the doors on the south side of the room are coated with ice. Oh, how unexpected. Does it look like it's thick enough that we can chip it away, or does it need to be melted? Great question, and the answer is yes. Good. Then Red starts chipping away at it. Cool.

Yeah. It does make me wonder where the water came from to make the ice, or at least it says nobody's been through this door in a long time, Which I guess tracks because nobody was in the other door in a long time. I think that Jack is just making conversation as we're chipping away before he sort of looks back at Harshnag and says, do you want to put your shoulder into it? Oh, yeah. We all stand back and we're like, what the hell are we doing? Break the ice.

I mean, Harshanag puts his shoulder against it and then he kind of shrugs and he's like, we'll have to get rid of the ice first. We use your axe. He starts chipping away with his axe. I mean, at the very least, you're going to be doing a lot more damage to the ice than we do. It's like an hour amount. Oh, you know what? What if?

I guess it's awfully cold in here, isn't it? It's super cold. I'm only thinking of, well, you could decanter of endless water. Water has a lot of heat retained in it. You could geyser this thing up, even like cold water, 4 degrees Celsius melts ice. We'd be on a skating rink. And I was thinking of setting a fire beneath one.

Why don't you do the geyser on that door and I'll put the fire over here? And I think red goes to the other frozen door and he just starts making like a fire beneath it, like right up against it. Because they're like bronze doors, at least. You know, they're not going to be wood doors. They're granite. I think that's when Doran like charges at one of the doors with axe flailing crazy over his head.

He's going to, he's going to hack at one of these doors. Excellent. Before somebody starts throwing water. We're going to get through this ice puzzle. It's like hacking out of frozen water. You don't have to make an attack roll. It's not going to try to dodge out of your way. Or will it?

How did you know I was getting on my ice? I could see you going for the dice. You were like, hmm, I'm going to roll something today. No. Between Harsnag and Doren, you know, ice is coming off in big chunks. What about my fire idea? Your fire idea is doing great. Ice is also melting, albeit slower than the chopping method.

I'm doing both. I start a big fire and then I'm chipping. Okay, well, that works better. Yay! Then it goes faster. It's like a race. I'm like looking over to Jack and I'm like, okay, we got this. Come on.

It's like the end of Survivor when people are like making fires against each other. Stephen is just like pulling back and ramming it and then pulling back and ramming it. And Krayloff is just standing back between the two of us. Yeah, Krayloff's just petting Jackson. This room is too fascinating to be really entertained by chipping ice off doors. I'm sure five minutes in Jack is like, this is taking too long. They got this, what are these fucking cool statues? I'm going to look at those instead in Marvel.

because that's more fun. Absolutely. Absolutely. Marvel away. Yeah. Are you just going between all the statues and looking at them all? Are you doing any specific investigations? I mean, it would be interesting to know if any of the symbology or any of the statues looked important.

I think we know there is one of each giant type, and I'm trying to remember what else you told us about them. Yeah. I mean, you learned a lot about them last session. specifically that they appeared to have been carved by giant hands and that the largest statue in the center does not have facial features and is facing this portal essentially.

Portal. So it takes about half an hour for you guys to get through the ice. Oh, except about 10 minutes in when there's like just enough space. You see red sliding something in to like a little cravite. He's actually been carving out sort of a square.

And then he steps back and he like waggles his eyebrows at Doren. And he's like, hey, Doren, check this out. Stephen won. And the folding boat explodes, smashing the ice at the granite door and pushing it inward. And then he's like, ha. You know, I guess everything in here that is alive and has ears probably knows we're here now, right? Why would you say that? Kink.

Harshanag's like, what do you mean? I wouldn't worry. I mean, if it's alive, it's been sealed behind that door for an awfully long time. So it's going to be hungry no matter what. Ah, we'll be fine. Let's go. Yeah, I guess you're right. What's the worst thing could happen?

Red died that night, knowing the last thing that was... After... I am adjusting this status. Did you say I'm updating my status? Updating the status of the game. Oh, okay. That you meant, like, your Facebook. status. I'm in danger.

Krayloth with Twitter would be killing me. He's live tweeting our adventures. I don't think so. I think it would just be like he'd be retweeting food blogs while we're doing awesome stuff. All his own cooking too. I think you would see Kralof scones with a really detailed recipe of like here's the hamper at house scones and here's why. Oh yeah. Dwarven cooking 101. What I learned

from my friend Doran and like two hours a blog later, You're now getting the first food picture. And Kalimvore quotes, mostly... Oh, yeah, yeah. Just inspirational Kalimvore quotes. My faith in Kalimbor really led me. So you guys head on through these doors finally after able to chip away all the ice. Harshnag puts his shoulder against them.

He does his and Doran's doors first, but then he also goes and does Reds. No, my boat did it. Your boat did it, and it's great. Break on through to the other side. Okay, great. You don't need Harlan's. Harshnag. I had the eyebrow waggle.

You did it. It means I was confident in the decision of using the boat. It reveals a large room, surprisingly, right? You guys are surprised by now, these large rooms. Whoa, how big? It's, they're about 60 feet tall. This room is 440 feet deep, or I guess long. There's a 200 foot wide alcove at the center

of the east wall, and there are six pillars that hold the ceiling up. There's also some giant-sized stone furniture or furniture. I was going to say. There's some giant-sized stone furniture in this room as well. Some long feasting tables with long benches, some slabs in the middle of the room that you can't really see up. The benches and the tables themselves are taller than you are. The room is brightly lit, and it's actually warm and dry in here. The source of this light and heat is a raging fire that seems to be contained within a basin in the center of the chamber.

Wow. Pretty cool in here, and by that I mean warm. Look, guys, a fire. I'd had the strangest sense memory of Zephyros picking us up and wrapping us in a tea towel to keep warm that one day in the tower. Giant furniture always freaks me out. Yeah. Good days. It is uncanny.

It really does. He's probably dead now. I remember being in that grud hog place? Oh, that was disgusting. It's amazing to see the... Remember being inside a stone giant? Red looks directly a jack. Yeah, it wasn't very fun.

Anyway, after you, Red? I walk in with my head held high. Great. So this is some kind of mess hall, and Kralov follows. Yeah, I think slowly we'll be making our way towards the brazier in the center. And I'd love to do a perception. Absolutely. That would be a 22.

Not just good eyes, but a good nose, Red. You determine that the source of this fire is probably natural gas? You can smell some kind of pungent odor coming from this fireplace that makes it seem like it's being just constantly naturally fed through probably some sort of underground system. Doesn't look like it's a wood-fed fire, but a gas one. Let's see if we can't find out why, if it was naturally built or what. Well, Doran, you must have a similar situation where you guys are underground.

Well, of course. Do you have a lot of natural gas fires? Let's take a look here. And I don't mean FOTS? Ah, good one. Doren walks towards the fire to inspect it. I'm trying to figure out what this thing's burning. Dorn, as you and Red approach this fire,

you hear a rustling sound to the east of you that announces you are not alone. I kind of hold up a hand in a soldier sort of way to halt where we are, and get down for cover. Red, around the corner of this slab of granite, you spot some movement coming from the alcove. Everybody roll for initiative. What do you see, Tabaxi?

All right, Kralath, what do you got? I got a two. No. Oh, no, really? He's laid back to me. Justin, I feel like you're always, always just a step behind everyone else. Yeah, yeah. It's true.

It's true. Kralov is, uh... Kralov enters the room. Kralath has your back, and he wants you to know it. Like, he's going to be right behind you every time on purpose. You guys do all the fighting. I'll do all the... Other stuff.

Jack, what you get? 21. Doren. A 16. Not bad. Red? Uh, 20. Cool. Dirty.

And Harshnag, you got a three. Oof. All right, Jack. As we hear a thing, are we able to see anything or any movement in a direction, any sense of knowing what's... Great question. What's coming? So right now, the party seems to be on the western side of the northern slab. There are two big slabs of granite in the middle.

In the middle of this room, there's one to the north of this huge fire pit, one to the south. So you guys have just come through maybe about a third of the way into the room, and you are all kind of behind this slab hidden away from the eastern alcove. Knowing that, I think Jack is going to give himself some stone skin, having recently been reminded what it was like to be in a stone giant and seeking that cold comfort for a moment he will focus on. that moment and turn his skin into stone and maybe take a couple of steps back while suggesting. Kieran, what do you smell? Can you poke your head around the corner? See what comes up? Yeah, you want to send Kieran up around the corner? Yeah. Okay, boss.

Kieran runs forward and sees a huge creature. Curled up in an alcove, Kieran sees this long beast, almost snake-like. with a ton of legs on either side. And it's got these electric red stripes running all the way down its back. And it seems to be slowly moving all of its legs one after the other kind of coming to life. Oh, no, boss.

There's a big snake there. Yeah, uh, huge electric lightning serpent, everybody. Get on your toes. Okay, Jack, so you're going to try to move back and get underneath one of the, the benches maybe? Yeah, just moving back to get some space while I take the time it takes to turn my skin into stone. Red, what do you do? I think Red sees Jack do his stone skin, and similarly, he bends down towards the ground, and he puts a finger onto some of the ice

until it melts. And then he stands up, and he touches his chest, and it forms an icy mantle and it sort of spiders out like frost on a window pane covering his body in this web-like icy crust that spreads over the entirety of him and then he's going to use his feline agility and move back 60 feet to some cover yeah dorin what do you do dorin turns the corner and follows kieran up closer to the fire you know curiosity is just getting the better of him. So as Doran sees this beast across the room, he kind of sneaks behind the

fire pit and pokes his head up and over to see, you know, what is really, what's the combustion here? What's causing the combustion of this fire pit? Such a curious little dwarf. Yeah. Yeah. True to Red's perception check, you find that

natural gas escapes through the holes in a basin that feeds this fire. You imagine it's probably been burning for a hundred years maybe longer. Wow. There's no, no wood, nothing, you know, carbon-based. It's just natural gas. Wow. I'm going to pull back and follow the others and let it kind of follow us. I'll probably just go back around the corner of this giant granite slab from whence I came. Excellent. So you head towards the fire. You take a peek in, satisfied your curiosity,

and then you just hustle back. Yeah. And do, does the creature see me? Like, is it obvious that the creature does or doesn't see me? It's not like, hey, hey, dwarf, I saw you over there. Yeah, okay. You know? But, I mean, suffice it to say, your presence has been noted in this chamber.

Your presence has been noted. The monster will remember that. That's right. So this creature moves north and out of sight. Oh, guys, I think it left. It's long body uncoiling and its legs tippy tapping on the ground. I say tippy tapping, but as a huge creature, it starts to like shudder the room just a tiny bit. You know, just the same amount as Harshnag does, basically.

It's the daintiest Godzilla. The daintiest Godzilla. Just a little dainty Godzilla. She's a dancer. It's Harshnag's turn. I think Harshnag rounds the corner beside Red and pulls out his axe and just gets ready. Where did it move to? Yeah, Harshnege just looks down at you, nods and points at the creature over all of these slabs and tables.

So you know the general vicinity of where it is. Thanks, Harshtag. He nods at you again. Man, a few words. He is. I hate you. Kralath, it's your turn. So Kralov is kind of in the middle of everybody.

Some friends have gone north, Doren's gone south, Kieran's south. Keryloth feels like he's better closer to the squeers. year members, uh, so he's going to run north towards where Red and Jack are and, uh, get up close to Red. Say, any sign of it? I know, but Hashnike says it's that way, I guess. And he just like gestures vaguely in that area. I guess we should wait for it to make the first move or something. It's like a standoff. Yeah. Doran. Yeah. If you could bring it in closer, I can cast bless on you three and, uh, give us a better fighting chance. Sure. Jack, it's your

turn. Jack's going to pull out the spellguard sphere and make sure he knows where that is and ready the, uh, the, uh, Dizan's wand and call Kieran sort of back towards him and, and just sort of creep around to the north just to make sure he keeps a harsh nag between him and whatever this monster is. And like, a harsh egg. He's, he's rack in his mind knowing that we saw this thing out in the wild, you know, thinking, okay, it's been locked in this room or has it. Are we waking a hibernating creature? Is, are we, you know, maybe it's got a way in and out of this room. Could it it down into the natural gas hole, you know, he's just trying to put all the pieces together. I don't know if there's any...

What a gas hole. I don't know if there's any sort of arcana or it's nature or something he could do to figure out what's going on, but he would certainly try as he... Yeah, you can roll a nature check for me. 20. Hey, nice. If this creature is anything like the creature that you fought on the frozen lake, which it looks to be at least tangentially related to you remember that people who got up in

melee range of this creature took damage so they might expect something similar yeah the last one of these things was was electrified guys so i don't know if this one will be but be thoughtful about being too close red it's your turn red is going to climb up harsh nag come on buddy and he's just going to scamper up to the top so we can see this thing great and uh now i get an eye on this this thing, correct? Yeah, most of it is actually behind a pillar right now, but you do see kind of its face, its mandibles, and its neck frill

poking out as it's weaving its way toward you. And Red turns down towards Jack and he says, well, I can keep it there. And Red is going to cast Sleet Storm. On a point 150 feet away, which is exactly in the center of that thing, There is a 20-foot cylinder in a 40-foot radius. It is heavily obscured.

Exposed flames are doused. The ground is covered in slick ice and making it difficult to rain. When a creature enters or starts its turn there, it must make a deck save or fall prone. I should keep it there for a minute at least. That's from using the ice room. That's from using the ice room. Interesting. Way to go.

Dexulent. Yes. And that's it. Doren, you see ice come from the sky. Oh, goodness. I guess I just back up. He's going to make some witty comment, which Alex can't think of right now.

Good. You got it, witty boy. Do it. I hate to be running away, but that's what I'm doing. Witt, just replete with wits. Sparkling wit right there. Very good.

All right, it's the monster's turn. The monster makes a decks save, right? Yeah, so it'll be a deck save with a DC-17. Oh, my God, that's a high deck save. Yeah, that's partly why I was like, well, that's... Ooh, I'm sorry, hon. That's okay. That's a dirty 20.

That's okay. The creature scuttles forward on its multitude of limbs and makes it to basically where you can just start to see it around the corner of the bench. from where Harshnag is standing. So he's still, you know, a little distance away, 80 feet, 90 feet away from you, red and Harsnag, but he's closing and fast. He's still coming! Harshnag just points. He's like a scarecrow, but for monsters.

I really like to think of it as Babe Ruth with the axe. He's calling his shot. Like he's just got the axe pointing out. You know, he's marking his... That's way cooler than a scarecrow. All right, it's Harshnag's turn. He starts to lumber towards this creature. Red, you still along for the ride?

Yeah, no, Red hops off. Red hops off. You want to hop off onto this slab? Oh, yes. So maybe Harshnag, he's just like, did you want down? Yeah. He sort of like extends his arm down to touch the top of this slab. And Red heads down his arm and jumps on top of the concrete slab nine feet up and gives him a little thumbs up.

Cool. And then Harshnag just dashes and gets nearly within striking distance of this creature. So these colossuses are about to collide. Colossi. Up next we have Kralath. And now that Doren is up close, Kralath is going to move five feet to the south. And he's going to cast Bless on himself, on red, and on Doren. Nice.

Thank you, friend. You're welcome. Thank you. And Kralov is going to move back up and step around the corner. And with shield and mace out, he's going to watch as Harsnag moves in on this thing. Mm-hmm. All right, Jack, top of the order. Jack's following along in Harshnag's wake, sort of running north till there's another bench

and trying to take a little bit of shelter under there. And just to get enough around the corner so he can hopefully start to see this creature pretty soon, but again, to keep a harsh neck between him and this Goliath or this monstrosity. Yeah, as you round the corner of this slab, just like Kralov, you start to be able to see this creature through the stone legs of this bench and table. You see its writhing body. You see Harshnag's feet. You're sort of getting like this battle from the waist down. Yeah, and, you know, I can feel behind me, Kieran, catching up and sort of getting there and reach out to pat his head while we're sort of watching what's going to happen

as these two monsters you know, bash into each other, trying to figure out what the next bold move is. It's like jaws and free willy. In the worst way. The worst way. Red. What do you do?

Red is going to cast Hunter's Mark as a bonus action on the thing, giving me an extra D6 to hit. And then I'm going to attack. Great. First, blood. First, bloody, here we go. That would be a natural one.

No. That's the first natural one that this red dye has given me. First of many. First of many. I hope not. I hope. Let me just make sure. Oh, I didn't rule bless on that, but that's okay because I would have filled anyway.

Damn! Anyway, Red pulls back and fires again. 17 a hit. Yes. Nice. Good one, Red. I have hits. 21 damage.

Excellent. First blood. I'm thinking of that worms game. Oh, yeah, yeah. Worms, aren't we getting? Yippee! Man, the bazooka was so good. How do we get one of those?

I remember the nuke strikes and the banana. Ming Vaz was my favorite. Oh, that's a good one. Right? In the sheep. Holy hand grenade. Doren, you're up. Red.

Take my shot! and he's going to use his combat superiority three points of damage if you hit so go ahead and make your attack there, Red. Get possessive on it, why don't you? Your shot. Here we go. You're not taking my shot with your bow and arrow.

17 hit? Yes, it does. Oh, good. Nicely done. 28 damage. Wow, okay, great. Way to go, Red. Way to go, you.

You, teamwork is always important. It's like I always say. This is like Clash of the Titans. Yeah. Red monologuing. The creature rears back and lets out this terrifying scream as it gets punctured by Red's arrows. And then it scampers underneath the stone table. I don't like that.

Then Red, you watch as the creature opens its mall watch. and exhales a cone of fiery breath all over your friend Harshnag. No! Harshnag makes a saving throw. Against death? He failed. But he has legendary resistance. If Harshnegg fails a saving throw, he can choose to succeed instead one time per day.

So he chooses to succeed against that saving throw, and it's probably for the best, considering he would have taken 61 fire damage Holy crap damn I'm getting the sense this isn't a lightning one I didn't see anything with those little arrows

that it stuck out it should have arced it really should have arced it might be a fire one did you know they had fire ones they had fire ones kind of busy at the moment here jack you were just lecturing

Doran about that was before we knew it was a fire one it probably was attracted to the brazer not a lightning one fire Dorin what are they saying

Kralath never would have guessed so Harshnake takes half damage only 30 points thankfully. And next up, it is Harshnag's turn. Harsnag is going to have kind of a hard time getting to this creature as it is kind of

hidden away underneath the stone bench. Kind of a harsh time? Oh, he's going to have a harsh old time, guys. He picks up a rock that all giants just have close to hand. It wasn't a rock. It was a rock lobster. Bowling for monstrosity. hurls it at this creature.

Of course, unfortunately, this creature now has some cover. Dang. Ooh, and misses. He's going to move just a little bit to the west to kind of try to get between Jack and the creature again, sort of knowing how this goes. Yeah, I did not love how there was no harsh nag between me and this monster for a brief moment.

I was not a fan. Thanks, Harshag. I feel like you guys have had this chat enough time. by now, like, hey, just so you know if there's a big monster, you and me, I'll take care of you. Thanks, buddy. Kralath, it's your turn.

Seeing Harshnag in trouble, Krayloff is going to dash forward. As he dashes forward, he's going to spread out a little bit so that this thing has to kind of turn around to look at him. And he's going to bang his shield a couple of times.

Come on. Fight someone your own. Oh, wait. Try to hit me. Fight someone much smaller. Let's fight. I think Kralov just, his mother instinct, is kicked in. And also, I get the feeling the way it had that cone weapon, where spread out, it makes more sense.

So it can only hit one target at a time. Jack, it's your turn. There's a paltry few feet between yourself and this monster. Chickens! How long was that cone a phone? fire that it had blasted out, did you say? Approximately 30 feet. It ended just before your tender robes.

Yeah, that's a little too close for comfort, all told. Jack is going to continue dashing underneath this table sort of towards the northeast. There's a pillar that he's going to try and hide behind. But on his way, he's holding out the Spell Guard sphere and that snap noise resounds in this room, maybe a dull echo just because it's so big and ruminous. but this monster should make me a wisdom-saving throw looking for 15. 19. That's too many.

That's too many numbers. I'm rolling great today, guys. Congratulations. Rolling great. Yeah, I'm really happy for you. Well, actually, that's good for Harsnag. Okay, so Jack, you lance out with your spellguard's fear as you're running behind the pillar. Maybe you're too concerned with getting yourself back there, but the spell.

ricochets off this stone bench. Red, it's your turn. Red pulled back another arrow and he fires. With a 19 hit. That does. Nice. Excellent. And you take no detriment from its cover, right? Because you're a sharpshooter. Bingo, bango. 21 damage. Hey! And he'll fire again. 19 hit. Mm-hmm. Arrow after arrow. Red just keeps pulling them out and fire. firing him into its scaly chest. It's like singing between that space. 21 damage. Great job.

And I say, bring it on, fire breath, bastard. And I make like a come at me. And I try to persuade it to attack me. Doran, what do you say? Doran's like, hey, are you guys fighting something? I mean, Doran, what do you do? I was I say, why ask me what I'm saying? Doran, what do you contribute to this conversation?

All right, Dorn, it's your turn. Okay, Doren's moving up his full 35 feet. And at that point, he, I was thinking about using goading attack, but you know what? I think I'm just going to... Everyone's goading this fucking thing. Yeah, we're all trying to get to... All sides. That's actually a good move, actually, because goading attack is better than any of our goading.

So I'm going to attack the creature with my crossbow. Great. Okay. Oh, shit, first one's a three. That misses. No, I'm going to use my luck because I've already I'm using my superior

I'm using that die and I've already checked it off and so I think I have to otherwise it's going to be using the superiority die without me actually using it. The trigger for goading attack is when you hit a creature with a weapon attack which you did not do so you couldn't have spent the superiority die without hitting.

You roll too early little man. So just attack again. Just tag again. I agree with Rob here. Save the luck. Roll again. Okay. Maybe you'll hit.

Then I missed both times. I missed. I rolled a three and a one. Those are shitty rolls, Doran. Those are bad rolls. Sounds like you got to shame those dice. Shame. Shame.

That's a shameable die. That is a very shamable die. Maybe I should shame it. Alex. No, I'm not going to do it yet. Shame of fools. I really like these guys. It's not time.

Toss it out. the window. The jar's hungry. We never shamed dice. Okay. I'm going to shame this dye here. Topaz. Oh yeah, it looks like one of Grandma's Wothers' originals.

Yeah, but covered in numbers. Yeah, and not all sticky and slobbery because she sucks on them first. Well, it kind of is. Ew. Okay, so that's going in the dice jar, the shame jar, onward and upward. Let's go, team. Let's go team. Or else.

is the creature's turn No Who of the four things that it goaded Is it going to go for? Yeah, this creature is going to crawl over To Kralath Scuttle, scuttle, scuttle And then it rears back

And it just tries to pick you up in its jaws Oh shit! Scree! This is what it did last time. That's a 30 to hit you. Uh, miss. Oh, wait, no, no, that's a hit. That's a hit.

Oh, good you had to check the math on that one, huh? Okay, you take 38 piercing damage. Okay. Wow. Lightweights. And 12 fire damage. All right. So that's 50 damage in one hit.

And you are grappled in this creature's jaws in its pincers. I shouldn't have goaded it. Kralov, now! That's all right. You guys will take care of it. Now it's out in the open. All right, everyone, let's leave. It's out in the open.

Take your shots. Heroic. I love it. There we go. Harsh night comes charging over then, and with his great axe, he makes some magnificent chops. Yes. How about some of those trademark Joe great rolls for now?

Yeah, where are these 20s at? Do it, chicken. Or is it a poultry roll? I rolled a four. Come on, Harsh nag. Um, no. And a five. Oh, harsh nag.

Come on. Both of the miss. So that's a 15 into 16. Woof. So he just barely misses you with both of those. You know that's 16 misses. Yeah, yeah. Five your die rolls to be higher than that.

Unfortunately. Kralath, it's your turn. All right. You know what? Everyone tries to get out of this, but you should go further into his stomach. Go reverse. I'm going to pull out a new spell.

My new spell, I mean old spell that I haven't used. Oh, okay. Have it used. Whip out an old spell. Can I see this creature? You can. No. It is directly holding your body with its terrible teeth.

Where is it? All right. I am going to cast blight on this motherfucker. Ooh. Necromantic energy washes over a creature of your choice that you can see within range, draining moisture and vitality from it, the creature must make a constitution saving throw. Uh, and then 8D8 on a failed say...

Holy fuck. 8D8. On a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one. Okay. That's fourth level. Yes, it is. Pulling at all this stops. All right, con save.

Here we go. I'm hearing a fail. That's a one, right? It's a two. Hey! Yeah. There we are. Failed save.

Blight this motherfucker. Roll all those dice. Yeah, so I'm going to roll 8D8s. And it's going to take that much necrotic damage on a failed save, which it did. And it's going to take 34 points of eight. Nice. Holy crap. Beefy, beefy.

Yeah. All right, everyone. Jack. Jack tentatively moves up 10 feet closer to this thing, still holding that orb, still certain. you know, maybe there's some residual necromanic magic around there from this blight trying to tap into that to try and suck a little more of this creature's soul out of it. He's going to atoll the dead again and just have this other necrotic thump echo out over the room. Thirteen.

That's the right number. Nice. Eight necrotic damage. Okay. And then I move back even further around the pillar. It's your turn. All right. Red pulls another arrow out.

kisses the tip and fires. No, that's a 14 to hit. And he fires again. Uh, 17. Yes, that'll do it. Nice. There you are. 25 damage.

Well done. And Red goes the thing again. Spit him out and take me on you, bastard! Doren, you're up. Doren enters the fight. Welcome to the battle, Dorn. Okay, Doren's like, wow, you You guys are doing a great job.

I think I'll join in. And he runs up right next to the Beast. Take your time, why don't you? And he attacks. Kill the Beast. 15 hit. No. Doing nothing for that swing.

No. How did I miss? This thing's so huge. Oh, my God. Two 15s in a row. Cranky. No. It just twists and shimmers out of your way.

Your axe is rebounding off of its little arms. Hey, yeah. I feel. so inadequate. Hey ya! I could use my action surge, but... You're saving it for a special date? Oh, what the hell?

I'll use my action surge. Do it. Damn it! Why did I use that? 13. Hold on, now, remember this. Hold on. You still have luck, and your action surge gives you both attacks. Yeah, so I'm not going to use that. So that one misses as well as a 13, and...

Oh, my God. Yeah, crap. I'm going to use a lucky roll there, Oh, come on. We're a rolling chick. All right. Okay, here we go. A 27 to hit.

Yay, there it is. Hey. Welcome to the combat, Doren. Yeah, thank you. It's been a long time coming. 16 points of damage. Oh, yeah. He lands his axe head, orc splitter, into the side.

I love the idea that a hork splitter is just like, hit him. Fucking hit him already. Just fucking do it. Do it. I'm metal. You don't have to worry about me. Yeah.

It's the creature's turn. This could be really bad, by the way, Justin. It could be. The 28 to hit you? That hits. All right. Okay. We can always cut you out.

Don't worry. Here we go. You take 24 piercing damage and seven fire damage. Ouch. Don't like it. 31 points of damage? Mm-hmm. As this creature chomps down on Kraylock.

torso. Krayloff lets out a pain to cry and goes limp in his mouth. And the thing it launches Krayloff up in the air and swallows him for. No! Krayloff! No! No! Jessica Orrett, Marie Kineski, Katie Orrett, and Merlin. See you soon. Hopefully.