Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball - 51: DIG IN: Sex Cardigans, Sniffing Armpits, and Silencing Your Inner Critic

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

In the last Dig In of the year, no topic is off limits. We chat about Elphaba’s infamous sex cardigan, how to stay kind to yourself without chucking in the towel. Plus, we ask: has your child ever brought something into school that they definitely shouldn’t have? DIG IT LIVE AT CROSSED WIRES PODCAST FESTIVAL Our first ever Digit Live is happening at Crossed Wires Festival in Sheffield on 5 July. Tickets available now and selling fast....  https://crossedwires.live/  SUBSCRIBE TO OUR FREE NEWSLETTER Stay up to date with Dig It — new updates every Friday straight to your inbox. 👉 https://digitpod.substack.com/subscribe GET IN TOUCH 📧 Email us: [e-mail] 📱 Text or Voice Note: 07477 038795 💬 Or tap here to send a voice note or message on WhatsApp:⁠ ⁠https://wa.me/447477038795 SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS This episode is brought to you by EE, AG1 and QVC ✨EE - Whether you’re hosting or guesting this Christmas, stay connected with EE. Their broadband and mobile keep you covered with superfast speeds and rock-solid reliability - perfect for streaming, FaceTiming or gaming. Get ahead of the festive chaos and sort your connection early. For more, just search ‘EE Does More’. ✨AG1 has 70 plus high-quality ingredients including vitamins, minerals, botanicals and good bacteria to support immunity, energy and gut health. New customers get £20 off their first month plus a free welcome kit with a shaker, canister and scoop. Only valid in December.Try it at www.drinkag1.com/digit ✨QVC - Click below to discover QVC’s range of menopause products and support. And don’t forget to use the code QDIG10 for £10 off your first purchase (minimum spends apply, see QVC website for full terms and conditions) -   https://www.qvcuk.com/content/menopause-your-way.html?cid=PR-PR-Digit&e22=Digit CREDITS Exec Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Assistant Producer: Eve Jones Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Video Editors: Danny Pape and Jack Whiteside Dig It is a Persephonica production 

Coming up on Digit. I will spray my perfume on, or I used to when they were younger, the kids, teddy bears, when they went away on school trips. So it's smell of home. Everyone used to call me sorry ball at school because I was always saying sorry. I'm one of those people I'll run in someone. I'm so sorry. Do you know what?

I think Scott has done something by getting that phrase out there into the people's consciousness. You hear so many people saying love you by. And it's like, it's quite nice. I sometimes accidentally say love you to people like. Don't even know. Yeah, love you. Bye, thank you. Yes. All of that, right up to this. So we have some very, very exciting news. We are taking Digit to the stage.

Woo-hoo. Yes, we're going to be live in Sheffield at Crossed Wires on Sunday, the 5th of July. And if you haven't heard of Crosswires, it's basically the world's biggest podcast festival. People have called it the Edinburgh Fringe. for podcasts, even the Glastonbury of podcasting. It is a whole weekend packed with live shows from some of your favourite podcasts. They take over venues across Sheffield. There are after parties, DJ sets, outdoor bars, food stalls and loads of free events too. And we'll be at the Crucible, which is an iconic, intimate venue, the home of world snooker, will be properly up close with all our diggers. Now, Sheffield is right in the middle of the country and very easy to get two by train.

So if you fancy making a whole weekend of it, you can. And the Peak District is right on the doorstep. Tickets are now on general sale for everyone and selling very fast, very flattering. We're thrilled. Whether you're a potting shed subscriber or not, if you want in, you can grab your seat right now. We cannot wait to meet you in the flesh. All the details are there for you at crossedwires. Dot Live.

We'll see you there. How are you doing? Hi, Joe. I think we're all melting. We're melting as we get ever closer to Christmas. How many sleeps is it now? I keep losing count. Oh, God, you expect me to count as well as talk?

No, definitely not. No. Are we going to dig in? Yeah, let's do that. Dig in with the diggers. What have we got? So we have this question. This is from Laura, who said, Joe, I know you saw Wicked and loved it.

I did. There's been loads of chat online about Elphabar's so-called sex cardigan. What? That grey, chunky knit she wears when she seduces Fierro. People are genuinely debating whether cardigans are now officially sexy. Do you think cardigans can be sexy or is it actually impossible to seduce anyone while wearing a button-up knitwear? Oh, I think. I mean, we can see Cynthia Arrivo in her cardigan, her sex cardigan.

Sainsbury's bag in the background, keeping it real. Love that. All the glamour. She's got a kind of a lacy bra on and then the knitwear. And I think she looks really sexy. I love a cardigan. Ever since Kurt Cobain wore a cardigan and made them look super cool and super sexy. I think they're great.

No one wore a cardigan like Kurt Cobain. You're so right. It's all like with a scruffy white t-shirt. Oh, the ultimate. Also the dude in the Big Lobowski. You know, where's Cardigan? And how cool is the dude in the Big Lobosky? So, yeah, I've always loved a cardigan.

Yeah, me too. Jude wears cardigans and T-shirts. I saw him last night wearing a long camel cardigan with pockets. And I was like, yeah, you look really, really cool. And I think they're rather handy in this time of age as well for us, because when you get a bit hot, you can drop a shoulder. I don't wear a cardigan when I'm working because it's like, oh, drop that down, just air that armpit.

Great, that comes back up. I quite like wearing a big long cardigan around the house instead of wearing a dressing gown. You know, I mean, I've answered the door on my cardigan and my pants before, which. Yeah. Oh, very Bridget Jones, I think. I don't think the most of them would say that was necessarily sexy. Yeah. But doesn't Bridget Jones, when they do the snowy scene at the very, very end, isn't she wearing a cardigan and her pants? And she kisses Colin Firth, I'm sure.

Bruns down the street. Yes, exactly. We're big fans of knitwear generally, aren't we? We love knitwear. But yeah, Cardys are sexy. There you go. Yeah, I think with, like Elphabas wearing the lacy bra top, if you've got good shoulders, slip it off, whether it's for menopause heat or whether it's just to dry it in a pathetic attempt to be sexy. Alluring. If you're trying to be alluring in the kitchen of give someone come to bed eyes.

Just come on, Aladja. Don't sniff my pits. Just don't sniff my pit. Hey, sniffing pits is sexy though. So I've often had this thing, right, when I really, when I've been sort of dating someone, I love smelling their armpits. There's something, do you? weirdo. Yes. I know. I know it sounds weird, but if you love someone, you've got to love all their

smells, not necessarily their bathroom smells. I, you know, draw a line at that. But there's something about armpit smells that I think are really sexy. My favorite thing to often do is sometimes, especially if not seen my lover for a while, is, you know, when they've got their holes around you, I'm like, sniffing in the armpits and I get a right old look. I'm like, I like, I like that smell. It's a good smell. Oh, I love after shave. Do you remember doing that thing when you were dating someone, you were young, borrowing their clothes? I know my kids borrow their partner's clothes to keep them because they smell of them, which is really lovely.

I have a thing that if my partner goes away, I don't like to wash the bed until they get back. A, because I'm worried they might not come back. And B, I love the smell. I love the smell of them on the pillows. I really love that. So I remember also being a teenager and spraying Kouros. or whatever it was Paco Raban

Oh Cooros The white bottle Cooros I remember that Yes I had a boyfriend That used to wear that all the time The white bottle Do you remember that On school jumpers

And being like that I love the smells And that is always a sign If you go off someone You know you've gone off them If they suddenly The smells you used to love about them It's just too much

It's funky You're like Nah It's all it's gone It's gone Because you've got to love all their smells I will spray my perfume on or I used to when they were younger

the kids teddy bears when they went away on school trips so both India and yeah I think Coco's got Snoopy so I spray my perfume so that she can or if I'm working away for quite a few days so that she can just lay there and go to sleep and smell me and I used to do it with Pandaman with India as well

I think that's a lovely idea Little piece of me they feel safe because that smell of mum is such a thing isn't it It's like I'm still with you You know, with newborn babies, that thing sometimes when you hand them across to, you know, to someone else. And they're like, babies, no, they're like, you're not my mom. A baby's head, like, smelling that baby's head, holding the head.

It's so tiny. Oh, my God, favorite thing in the world. Oh, I know. God, do you know what? I think if we weren't too old, both of us would have more kids, wouldn't we? Oh, gosh. I'm going to have to have such a long wait for grandchildren. Can I borrow someone's baby?

Can I borrow someone's baby? Do you know and fee? Can I borrow your baby, please? I think they'd worry you wouldn't give it back. Seriously, I wouldn't. I'd be like, go and have a couple of months. I miss it. Yes.

I'm trying to think of others from the past. It was Paco Raban. Remember that. Amarie was a thing. Was it Artemis? Artemis, yes. I think there was an Artemis, yes. There was an Old Spice, but that reminds you of my grandfather.

Old Spice was. granddad. Yeah. Yeah, brute. Oh, God. Splash it on all over. That was Splash it on all over. Yes, because those adverts and that people get box sets of Christmas. I think I bought that box set for quite a few of my relatives at some point. I quite love those smells, though. For girls, Reeve Goch was mine. That reminds me of being younger. And my friend bought it for me a couple of Christmases ago and I've still got it in my cabinet upstairs. And I just go up there and sometimes take the lid off and just smell it. And I'm transported back to being, I don't know, 20 years old or 18 years old. I love it. It's incredible, isn't it? How a smell

like that takes you right back. I know because I went through phases. It was obsession was my first. I mean, I couldn't go near that smell now. Obsession, I used to a Chanel number five for a while, which is really weird because it's quite sort of mature and exotic. That is not me. That is my mum smell. I bought that for her a couple of years ago, yeah, because I remember she always used to wear it. Oh. And yeah, it's, yeah, Chanel number five. I used to think it was so chic and so cool that she wore Chanel number five.

I never forget that. Yeah, it was lovely, yeah. How do we start this conversation? Where did this conversation begin? Also, I cannot relate to the sniffing people's armpits. I did, I'm too much of a clean freak. I believe that. I like people to be clean.

Yeah, I know, but it's, you know, they are clean. But it doesn't mean that you don't have sort of nice body smells. I seriously go and sniff Disco Steve's armpit next time you're cuddled up and see if you don't get a little hit from it you get a little hit from it there will be diggers out there who love smelling their partners at armpits and I will not be alone on this I will not be alone you're all a bit weird I like it if he comes in he's smelling of Tam Dow that's what I really love I mean I love diptee stuff all over the place but Tamdao is what I associate him with

so if he comes in smelling of that I will definitely give him a bit of squeeze It's Tam Dow. It sounds like a sort of a takeaway. It's not. It's a very, it's a musky kind of smell. Okay. If you're absolutely loving the Digit podcast, make our Christmas wish come true. We've been good girls. And hit follow or subscribe wherever you get this podcast. We've got an email from Cynthia, not Cynthia Arrivo of sexy, sexy cardigan. Hey, Joe and Zoe, I'm on a bit of a health kick at. the moment. I'm eating better, moving more and trying to lose a bit of weight. It's going well,

but I've noticed something that's throwing me off a bit. It did work in some ways. I lost weight and felt fitter. But now I'm realizing that my voice isn't really motivating me. It's actually quite mean. Oh, yeah, the inner voice. I don't know where the line is anymore. How do I know when I'm encouraging myself and when I'm just being harsh? How do you stay on track without being cruel to and how do you treat yourself kindly without feeling like you're slacking? I want to be healthy, but I also want to enjoy my life. I'm not sure how to do both. Cynthia, thank you for your honesty.

And this is a great question here. Joe. Well, I, yeah, we are very good at beating ourselves up and being really critical of ourselves. So I think it's just a matter of actually talking to yourself and recognizing the good that you're doing and be kind to yourself. And the only way you can do that is by having a word with yourself and just say, just shut up like literally just talk out loud I do that quite often walk around or look in the

mirror and just go shut up don't listen to yourself like I and I sometimes I get obsessed with them weighing myself and I like weigh myself every single day and then occasionally I'm if I've had a really a weekend of eating everything I want to and I'll get to Monday morning and I'm like I'm not actually going to get on the scales today because I know if I get on the scales I'll look at what they say and then I'll feel bad about myself for the rest of the day I will look no different I know that in my head. I'm an intelligent woman. I know I won't look any different, but there is something about seeing that figure rise or fall that has an impact on the day ahead of me. And it's a ridiculous circle to get into. And so I really have to have a harsh word with myself and make

myself not to get on the scales and just carry on about my life and go for a swim or do something that makes me feel good. Yeah. Do something that makes you feel better. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I don't know. What about you, Zoe? What do I am, oh gosh, with this, I, I'm possibly the other way around in that. I probably don't do enough. But what happens is I will get to a point and then it's all out. It's like I'll push it and push it and push it. I haven't done anything. And then my mood gets low and I think, why am I feeling so? It's like, because you're not putting anything in. If you don't put anything in, you don't get anything out. So then I'll be bright, go do you Pilates. So, and then I do it and then I feel better about myself and I cut out certain foods.

But the thing is, it is, it is a line because you do want to enjoy yourself. So I do want to have a dessert. And I do want to have a glass of something when I'm just enjoying myself. And I don't do a lot of drinking anymore and I don't do a lot of eating cakes anymore. But it's quite nice to enjoy that. I'm really aware of all this at this time of year. Oh, God. Yeah. Thinking, oh, here we go. Because it's just all excess, isn't it? There's so much food. There's so much booze. There's so much. And it's trying to sort of keep the healthy side of it going till right up to Christmas, if I can, just a little bit longer before I go all out, because you feel so much, you feel sort of, you know, tough. But I totally get that inner voice, but don't take it too

far. In fact, we've got in touch with Kate Oakley, personal trainer, she's brilliant, specialising in health and fitness around menopause, and she's got this message for us. Hi, Joe, hi Zoe, and hi, hi, Cynthia. As a personal trainer working exclusively with midlife women, I hear this question more often than you'd think. But before we even talk about the inner critic, I want to highlight something you've already said, Cynthia, I'm eating better, moving more, trying to lose a bit of weight and it's going fine. That's brilliant, but it's so common, especially for women, to skip straight past the progress and go right into self-criticism. So let's acknowledge you're already doing really well. So this inner critic, I think a lot of us have relied on that critic for years. Let's remember,

we're from the generation where foods were good or bad, this dress size, acceptable, this size not, and self-worth linked to a number on the scales. The inner critic here was having a field day, but here's the truth. In midlife, that approach stops working. As you've said in your message, Cynthia, the inner critic isn't motivating you anymore. It's just creating pressure. And pressure might push us for a week or two, but it quickly leads to rebellion, giving up or feeling like we're failing. So how do you know when you're encouraging yourself versus being harsh? A simple check-in I recommend is, would I say this to a friend? If the answers no, that's your inner critic speaking and not your inner coach. If a friend told you, I'm eating better, I'm moving more, it's going

fine. You wouldn't say, not good enough. You'd say, amazing, keep going. But being kind doesn't mean letting everything slide either. If that same friend said, I want to feel fitter and stronger, but I've done absolutely nothing for four weeks, you wouldn't dismiss it, shrug it off, you'd encourage her gently. Okay, it's been a tough month. What's one small thing you could maybe do this week to feel more like yourself again? And that links to something crucial in midlife. We have to set ourselves up for success. Big ambitious goals sound great, but when life gets in the way, and it will, especially with menopause on top, those big goals hand the inner critic a megaphone. Suddenly the voice becomes you've failed, you're useless. Smaller goals on the other hand

are doable, sustainable, you achieve them and that success builds motivation, confidence, momentum. So the balance is be kind, be encouraging and choose goals that make you feel successful, not defeated. Let the inner coach lead, not your inner critic. That's how you stay consistent without being cruel to yourself. And lastly, Cynthia, you asked how to be healthy, but enjoy your life. The truth is these aren't opposites. They go hand in hand. We just, I feel, need to redefine what healthy means in midlife. It's not about chasing who we were at 25. It's not dieting or cutting out everything we enjoy, nor is it about crazy exercise schedules at the experience. of time with loved ones. Most of the women I work with, healthy now for them means feeling

strong, energized, confident and capable, liking how they feel in their bodies and being able to live the life they want without feeling limited. And that version of healthy absolutely leaves room for enjoying your life. You don't have to choose between the two. And when you speak to yourself with encouragement instead of criticism, when the coach leads, not the critic, I feel you now actually make choices that support both. I hope that helps Cynthia and help some of the listeners and we move forward with that inner coach, not critic. Oh my God, that was so useful. Love that, inner coach. So when your inner critic starts, be like, gosh. Yeah. In a coach. Step in. That's great. And speak to yourself as you would to a friend. Yeah. Would I say that to a

friend? I think that is so good. Yeah. That's really good. Yeah, you'd be kind, you'd be encouraging, you'd be lovely to that friend, do that to yourself. But she was brilliant, Kate, thank you so much. And Cynthia, I really hope that that helped you as much as it's obviously helped us and everybody else listening right now. Kate, thank you very much indeed. If you'd like these episodes ad-free, become a subscriber to the potting shed. This means you'll get longer episodes and early access to our live show, which is happening in Sheffield. It's a really good time to join.

But most importantly, you'll be supporting. the show. To subscribe, head to digipod.com.com.uk. Or tap the link in the show notes. You've been in touch and we've got this very lovely text from another Joe. Love the podcast. It's great to feel like we're going through a different stage of life with people who get it. I lost my dad this year. Sorry to hear that, Joe. And some of the grief chats have been hard, but also exactly what I needed. I shared a clip the other day of Zoe's comment about telling people you love them. One of my good friends who I grew up with Holly replied and said how much she loved listening as well. We don't get to see each other often so it felt fab to be connected by

you. She said she listens on the way to work. So please tell Holly that I love her and we must make the effort to meet up lots of love from Joe. So there you go Holly. Holly and Joe both listen to Dig It. That warms the cockles of my heart, Joe. I love that. I know. The fact that it resonates with so many different people. And the whole thing about telling people you love them. When you said that, I was just thinking, we say we love each other all the time. I mean, so different to being brought up by my mum and dad. You just never said the L word.

I knew they loved me very, very much indeed. But we're so much more aware that people need to hear the love now, aren't we? So I say it to, I say it to my mum and dad now, and it's really lovely sometimes when they say it back. I'm like, okay, we've made progress. And yeah, and I tell my kids all the time that I love them constantly. And they say the same to me. not in a Scott Mills love you by kind of way but in the bit more sincerity

although sometimes but actually do you know what I think Scott has done something by getting that phrase out there into the people's consciousness you hear so many people saying love you bye and it's like it's quite nice it's great I can't end to text to him without saying love you bye

it really works I remember when Americans used to I think it was McDonald's brought in the phrase have a nice day and in the UK at the time Everyone was appalled. They were like, oh, God, that's just ridiculous. Why would you say something like that?

It's really American. That's horrible. And now everybody says, yeah, have a great day. Have a nice day. It's just a really lovely, positive way to be. I sometimes accidentally say love you to people. I don't even know. Yeah, love you.

Bye, thanks. I don't even know this person. Yeah, I love you. Thanks. Have a lovely day. Love you. My God, who are you? It's just sort of absent-mindedness.

Anyway, so as long as I remember to tell the people, I should that I love them and not necessarily random strangers. Hey, I love you. Yeah. We got a cold call in the car the other day. Steve was driving along and we had this call that was obviously some kind of scammer and had a conversation with him and then Steve just went, okay, right, love you? And I went, did you just tell that man that you loved him? And he went, I think I just did. Because it's just part of a sign off, isn't it? Oh, gosh. We're telling too many people now that we love them. We got another message. This one is from Grace. So it's a text who says, I was doubled over laughing at this video I found from ms. Dot Charks on TikTok

and I just had to share it with you. So let's have a look. Just sharing probably one of the most embarrassing moments I have ever had in my life. In the 29 years on this fucking planet, walking to Billy's nursery, Emily, can we just have a quick word, please? I was like, yeah, absolutely. Go into the office. Billy bought a bracelet into school today. It's Ben's fucking cockering, mate, that he's got out of my, draw. He's taken in a fucking cock ring and has been running around nursery with it on his

wrist saying, look at my pretty bracelet. It vibrates. Ah! Oh my God. It's not just a cockering is a vibrating cockering. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's so brilliant. The kids go through your side drawers, don't you? We do not keep our sex stories and sex things in the right place. I've often thought this to myself. Lock them up. Look them away. This should be in a box somewhere else. Oh, my God, that is so great. Thank you for sending that to us. That's so...

Fantastic. Love that, Grace. Thank you. Oh, good grief. Oh, my God. There are some really good comments on the video, too, Joe. Sophie said, I'm a teacher and a child once bought in a pair of fluffy handcuffs. I nearly passed away when I had to hand the back to his dad at the end of the day.

Oh, God. Arby's yourself. Eila commented. working in a daycare once, the kids were all obsessed with nun chucks for a while, and one boy went home and tied all his mum's tampons together and put them all in his bag, made a pair for all his friends. Oh my God, you spin them round and there's all the tampons. These are so good. I mean, it makes you wonder, doesn't it, whether anyone listening or watching right now, whether any of your deeply embarrassing personal effect has gone into school or gone into some place

with authority, and it's had to be handed back to you. It's happened. to you. I mean, you know, I'm sure it probably has and I'm sure you're going to let us know. Something that you put in the side drawer that you should have put away. Oh, dude, this is so good. Cockering. So next up we've got an email from Caroline who said, I recently went on a weekend away with all my girls. We're all in our 50s and 60s. And each year it's like there's a different topic that just keeps coming up in conversation across the weekend. This time, the recurring theme was partners not apologising. We were several rants deep when we realised we were all talking about the same thing, really,

about husbands failing time and again to properly apologise after a mistake. We all felt that we were much better at saying sorry after an argument or mistake. So my question is, how are you both with apologising? Do you have any apologising rules in your relationship? Like never going to bed angry, anything like that? So this is from Caroline. Zoe, what are you like? Everyone used to call me sorry ball at school because I was always saying sorry.

I'm one of those people, I'll run in someone. I'm so sorry. You know, someone will reverse in my car. I'll be like, I'm so sorry. So I'm always apologising. And it's something, Caroline, that I've actually started to really notice and think, I need to stop apologising because I haven't done anything wrong. And so I'm not going to apologize.

And, yeah, you see, this is the thing. I like to think I'm really good. but I don't know whether my kids and the logic would agree with you. They might, with me here, might say, you're rubbish. I always like to think I'll make the peace. And I don't like going to sleep on an argument. And I don't like people leaving on an argument. But sometimes it's impossible because if someone's just grumpy or they're having a bad day

and nothing you do is going to make it any better. And sometimes you've just got to let them go sulk, you know, whether that's me or someone else, Have a little sulk, let the time pass, and then you'll slowly come back together. I don't know. I don't know if I'm any better at saying sorry than anybody else in the household. I find it quite difficult. Sometimes you just need to stew. You just need to stew, don't you?

Yeah. Because usually, you know, we all think we're in the right a lot of the time. And sometimes you do have to step back and think, oh, yeah, maybe I was being a complete knob. Yeah. And I should say sorry. I like to think that I do say sorry if I've been naughty or out. of line or, you know, but I'm perfect. We've had this conversation before, I think I'm perfectly, I know generally wrong.

You are perfect, yeah. But I, yeah, I do have a bit of a salt now and again. I find it really hard to apologise and my kids have taught me a lot. They're really good. I don't know where that comes from, but they really do face up to things that they've done wrong and they'll often say, I'm really sorry. Coco and I had an argument the other day and she just said, well, I'm sorry I made you feel like that, but I really feel you should apologize too.

I was like, oh God, who's the adult in this conversation? You're absolutely right. Did you? So I apologise. Yeah, I did. Well done. And I thought, yeah, quite often I think I have to be the bigger person. But if it's an argument between Steve and I know that I'm really, I'm not very good at apologising. He's great. He's, you know, magnanimous and will fess up if he's done something wrong, which I really admire about him, whereas I'm one of those people who does, like you said, just I fester and I just find it really, really hard to admit that I'm wrong. Yeah. It's not very often, obviously, because, you know, the times I'm wrong are few and far between because I am perfect. Like you, yeah. Exactly. I like to think if I've really messed up that I will go, yeah, hands up. Okay. I haven't acted in the best way possible here. But do you mean it when you do that? Yeah. Sometimes you're so sorry and don't even mean it, do you? That's such a childish thing. Oh, I do that. It's that the sometimes it's the child. Sometimes it's the child. isn't it? It's like the adult and the child who is rowing with who

is it the child you who's kicking off and you know probably just needs a cuddle or something like that but I do love though Caroline that you are having a weekend away with your friends and you get to have those conversations because I've had that with my girlfriends

that there's been something that we've really found a common thread where one of us is like oh so-and-so's done this and the other one will be like well so-so does that and I've put up with this recently And sometimes just airing that problem and realizing that it happens to everyone is so good. You just feel heard in a way that perhaps you don't really want to tackle it with your partner because you know it's just going to create more drama.

Sometimes just sharing that with your mates going, oh yeah, I have that. I have that. And you think, oh, good. It's not that big a deal. It's all right. Yeah. It's just venting, isn't it? Yeah, just venting.

Being heard and being understood. It's very cathartic, yeah. And you just know that you're not going mad. And because you can hold the resentment and the anger in so much. It kind of, you just feel like you're going to explode sometimes. And all you need is some quality time with your best friends or just females. And guys as well sometimes just to go blah. I know.

And another thing. And one more thing. And then it's out. It's okay. I can deal with it now. It's fine. I've got it out. Yeah.

And then you can go home and go, hello. I love you. Yeah. I'm really sorry about my. Exactly. I'm really sorry. Under your breath. Members get longer episodes and bonus content.

Remember, Jess Pop, subscriber at the start of your message and we'll do our very best to include it in our longer exclusive subscriber-only episodes. We've got an email from Lucy with an eye. It's important. I just wanted to share some photos of the festive wreath, my super-talented vegetarian wife crocheted this year. She's a clinical psychologist and taught us. herself to crochet in lockdown as a way to switch off from all the stress of her job. It's now her favorite hobby. I listen to your wonderful podcast as I work alone in my home bakery. Oh,

I can smell the smells now. Listening to you both is like having two fun work colleagues. So thanks for your company. I need to get myself a hobby for 2026. Any suggestions please. Oh, wow, look at that. They are cool. They are so good. Look at those lovely Brussels sprouts with eyes. Please tell me they're Brussels sprouts with eyes because I am. Yes. Look, and there's a fluffy cauliflower. Is that a pepper? Carrots. Maybe some carrots. Some lovely carrots. Oh, that's so cool. I love that. It's a little turkey. I love vegetarians. That's so good. Oh, happy turkey. That is one vegan feast of a wreath. I absolutely love that. Bravo. I'm so much in awe of all the makers and

the creators and the people who can do this kind of stuff, all the artisans, the artists who listen to this and watch us. I love that. I'd love to be able to do it. Hobbies? Am I ever going to do my upholstery course? Is that ever going to happen? Am I ever going to get back to Couch to 5K? I'm seeing the hip specialist today because it's still a bit dodgy. I really want to run. Yeah. It's weird. I need to be able to cash in on this feeling quick in January. So I'm going to see the hip doctor to say, see what he says about that. Yeah. Anyway, hobby. for next year Joe you haven't got time for hobbies no no time I think I think I might have just signed up to do the London landmarks half marathon so I'm going to get back into running again because Cass is amazing

he runs on his own so much and he will never run with any of us and I keep saying to him you should do a half marathon you'll ace it honestly so he agreed that he would do it if I do it and I think disco is going to do it as well so so maybe just a continuation of the running I like it and you practice what you preach Joe which is good yeah got so many of us doing couch to 5K. I have no ideas for other hobbies. Oh, I tell you what, there's a dance class and I go past and they do, what's that, it's not rock, not rock dancing. It's called Baroque, not Baroque. Sorrock. Surrock. Yes. They do Sir rock. And I go past and they're like in the evenings, everyone's dancing and da, da, da, da, and that's, that's going to be my thing is to try and sign up.

I'd love to be able to learn to dance, not on national television, but to do a class in a village hall sounds brilliant. Are you sure? What? Are you sure? You don't want to be strictly come dancing, Joe? Absolutely. Can you imagine them when you go and join your Sorok dancing class in the village hall and they see you coming in? They'll be like, where are the cameras? What's going on? Oh, God. Well, let's see. Okay, half marathons for you and Sorok for me. Let's see what happens. Yeah, we're not very good at suggesting hobbies. I'm sorry to let you down, but we are in awe of the wreath. I know. That is a great

wreath. That's it for today's episode. We are done. But if you want even more questions and answers, become a member of the potting shed. So it's the potting shed to be part of our gang and you will get longer episodes. Remember, if you have any questions or comments, we love to hear from our diggers. So do get in touch. Yeah, details on how to subscribe, what you have to do to the potting shed and how to get in touch are all in the show notes. So show notes is what you're looking for. And we'll see you, going to see you on Wednesday. We'll see you then. Bye, Zoe. Yes. If I can no longer speak to do a podcast because I have finally gone Christmas crackers. one of my children will be here hosting the podcast.

Don't be surprised. Or perhaps Wilbur the cat, who possibly will speak more sense. I'll take Wilbur, that's fine. Yeah, excellent. There'll be Wilbur and Nemo in charge of the pod. Exactly. That'd be so good. Pets episode.