Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball - 65: DIG IN: Speculum Acrobatics and Pupdates

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

Jo & Zo get a gorgeous message from the amazing Lorna who donated a kidney to her brother-in-law John. Lou’s also been in touch with a really important question about navigating life as a single person. Plus, more hilarious speculum action and a puppy update from Jo!SUBSCRIBE TO OUR FREE NEWSLETTERStay up to date with Dig It — new updates every Friday straight to your inbox.👉 https://digitpod.substack.com/subscribeGET IN TOUCH📧 Email us: [e-mail]📱 Text or Voice Note: 07477 038795💬 Or tap here to send a voice note or message on WhatsApp:⁠ ⁠https://wa.me/447477038795SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSThis episode is brought to you by Stripe & Stare & Ancient + Brave✨Stripe & Stare – Comfort really is everything. Stripe & Stare make unbelievably soft, breathable underwear that’s kind to your skin and designed for real life. Their knickers are made from natural fibres with no nasty chemicals, their bralettes are wire-free with no digging in, and their sleepwear is so comfy you’ll struggle to take it off in the morning. They’re a female-led, B Corp brand too – which we love. Use code DIGIT20 for 20% off at https://stripeandstare.com/✨Ancient + Brave – This January isn’t about being “good”, it’s about having energy that actually lasts. Ancient + Brave’s True Creatine+ supports strength, cognition and steady energy without the jitters or crash. It’s neutral tasting, dissolves easily and fits effortlessly into real life. They’re also a certified B Corp and members of 1% for the Planet, so it’s good for you and good for the planet too. Subscribe and save 20% on your monthly wellness rituals, plus get a free ritual scoop. Head to ancientandbrave.earth to get started.CREDITSExec Producer: Jonathan O’SullivanProducer: Samantha PsykAssistant Producer: Eve JonesTechnical Producer: Oliver GeraghtyVideo Editors: Danny Pape and Jack Whiteside

Coming up on diggit, Joe Wiley, that's crowd. The roar of the crowd. The clip I saw everyone singing, na, na, na, na, na, na, nah. It always goes off when we play that. I love it. I have a friend called Karen and she had a baby in what they said was about four minutes. She's really strong. She's a trainer and she literally fired her baby across the room and they caught the baby like a rugby ball. I was sent some amazing photographs yesterday of Australian Labradoodles in utero. I'll have to ask permission, but if I can share, I will share. Well, they've sent you a scan of the babies. Yeah.

All of that right after this. January is when we recommit to the habits that support our health and well-being. And naturally, we start looking at what can support those goals, including supplements. But choosing the right supplements can be confusing. Because not only are there so many brands out there, the supplement industry itself is a low-trust category. It's lightly regulated, products are easy to make, and companies don't even have to list everything on their label. Now, there's Momentus. They've become the high-trust brand and a low-trust category. They weren't satisfied with the industry standard, so they built the Momentus standard, their commitment to doing things the right way, not the easy way.

Momentus sources the highest quality ingredients on the planet. Their way protein comes from grass-fed European dairy cows. Their creatine uses the purest form of creatine monohydrate, and every formula is made with clinically backed, highly bioavailable nutrients with no fillers and no artificial sweeteners. Right now, Momentus is offering listeners up to 35% off your first order with promo code audio boom. Head to livemomentis.com and use promo code audio boom for up to 35% off your first order. That's livemomomentis.com promo code audio boom.

The difference between an emergency and non-emergency situation can sometimes be hard to spot. An emergency, like breaking a hip, requires a call to 911. But if a friend is having a mental health breakdown, call 2-1-1. If a water main breaks, contact 3-1-1. And for an incident like a past break-in, dial the non-emergency line. The right call gets you the right help. Learn more at Toronto.ca.ca slash make the right call, A message from the city of Toronto.

Hello, Joe. Hi, happy Monday. Have you ever heard that saying, hello, Joe? What do you know? How are things in Kokomo? Oh, no. No, no. My dad always used to say to me,

hello Joe, yeah, what do you know, just come back from the radio show, which I always thought was very prophetic because that's what I ended up doing. There we go. Yeah, my dad always used to sing that to me. He also used to sing to me, where are you going there?

So we don't, you know, you're in the city. He did, did it? And it's something about wearing shoes, I wish I could remember the rest of that song. Songs are fathers have sung us. That's a whole other episode of Dig It. But right now it's time to dig in with our fabulous diggers. Do get in touch with us.

We love hearing from you. If you want to get in touch to send us a voice note or a message, you just go to the show notes and you'll see how. You might remember a few weeks ago, Lindsay sent us an amazing message about her sister Lorna, who had donated a kidney to her husband, John. Well, Lorna's been in touch. Hi, Zoe. Hi, Joe.

Hope you both well. I've just heard my sister's beautiful message about her husband's kidney transplant. I'm Lorna, the donor, Lindsay's sister, and I'm happy to report that we're both doing really well. I just wondered if, like Lindsay, I could take the opportunity to thank the transplant team and the staff on Ward 45 who were brilliant at Manchester Royal Infirmary. and also to Tunday Campbell and Jenny Kingston, who were the surgical team. Amazing, amazing, amazing. So I'm 53.

I'm perimenopausal, obviously slightly medicated now and freshly out of hospital. And I was thinking it feels like one of those rare moments where people are listening to what I'm saying. So I thought I'd milk it. But you know there's that thing of six degrees of separation. And I want you both to know that somehow you're actually. of kindness have impacted either myself directly or other people that I love. So Joe, years ago, you were really kind to me. I was at Houston Station juggling a baby, a pram and luggage and trying to board a train to Manchester. And it may have been a tiny moment for you, but I've never forgotten

that kindness. And Zoe, your kindness extended to my closest friend Debbie, who at the time was writing a weekly pop column. She was a teenager and interviewing a band member of the Mock Turtles in Manchester. Again, it wasn't a huge moment. It was nothing big, but it was just you being a thoroughly decent human being. And that's all I have to say, really. You probably don't remember any of it, but I just wanted to reiterate that kindness hangs around and it travels further than you think. So this is just a thank you from someone with one kidney. and a very good memory in spite of perimenopause. And to anyone listening, remember if you can be anything, be kind.

And to my sister Lindsay, I love you. Thank you for that lovely message. And I would donate over and over again for you if I could, but I can't. So I won't. Lots of love. Oh, Lorna. What a family you are, Lorna. You and your sister Lindsay.

And just there you go You see, it's the old adage You give a little love And it all comes back to you As they sang in Bugsie Malone I need some tissues I know Oh dear

Isn't that wonderful Lorna is so good to know That you are doing well Their girl And that John is doing so well You see we've talked about it before Haven't we It's just

stopping to chat to someone Or give someone the time of day and you remember those things. Yeah, I've done that trip to up and down on that train to Houston. I used to take the kids to work with me and I'd have them like around my neck or in buggers. And you know, you just rely on people helping out. So of course, Lorna, I would have helped you.

A really funny, like six degrees of separation, I went to do a radio show the other day. And McCallmonton Butler and yes, had been put into the show by my producer. And I said, oh, did you hear the pod? Or have you heard the pod? And she was like, no, I just put it in the show for you to play this evening. I was like, oh my gosh. So I played the song and I dedicated it to Lorna,

but really I should have dedicated it to Lorna and also to John and to Lindsay. But also David McCallmont got in touch on the podcast. He just messaged. He saw the story and he sent lots of love to all of you as well. So, you know, yeah, we're one big gang, aren't we? A big family. A big gang, everybody's connected. Oh, yeah.

And that story, you know, Lindsay, John and Lorna's story has really touched everybody. I've had people come up to me in the street just saying, wow, hearing stories like that is amazing. You know, and this is what makes humans great, is that love and the things you will do for those you love is just knows no bounds. And that's something we have to hold on to sometimes through the terrible times and through what's going on around us in the world. You've got to remember that there's actually loads of really good people. And also, can I just say the amount of times I will see, a mum struggling with a buggy to get up some steps or get in a door and a hold of it.

And people just don't see, do they? They do not see and they don't stop to help. I also appreciate it when some people say, I'm actually okay. Don't worry. Don't need help. Thanks. Because some people don't want help and that's fine for various different reasons. But come on, guys.

Just hold a door open. Just stop sometimes. It's weird, isn't it? It's weird that some people have a natural inclination to lean forward and to do something. And other people just don't see it. Yeah. I just don't understand that. at all. I don't get it. It's like when you let someone out in someone just gives you a little

flash, thanks for letting me out. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Thank you. That's all right. Yeah. You know, the amount of van drivers who cut me up sometimes and get really irate and I appreciate they have somewhere to be and they've got to be somewhere. But they cut you up and now, no. Can I just say also lots of lovely van drivers who have let me out and given me a wave and tutored me and I've had little chats within traffic jams. So that's not all van drivers. I, uh, no, I redact that remark. There are good people and bad people in this world. Also, I'm, I've been to, I think since we last spoke up, I've been to three hospital appointments with my mum. So we were at the Northampton General Hospital quite a lot in the past few days.

And we met some really, really wonderful nurses and doctors and have had really great experiences with all the people that work there. So just a mention, I think it was Teresa who came up to me in particular and was just lovely. And they were helping my mum to put on a boot and to do some walking. But just the sunny disposition and the kindness of those people talking to my mum and just being around. their energy and just seeing how big their hearts were was just amazing. And I just, so I need to say thank you to them and to everybody works in other hospitals all over the place. But to experience it firsthand was quite humbling and it was very grateful for you all just being super nice. Yes, we're as champion more. There you go, Lorna, spreading more love.

Thank you for your wonderful message. Right. So at this point, I have to reach for my glasses because I can't always read the messages. So glasses on. We had such a nice message. This is after a gig that I did in Bournemouth really recently in Nighties Anthem's gig and I got this super lovely message from Tanya who said it was an amazing night just beaten cancer

and what a way to celebrate I felt like I was 20 again I love this saying we each have two lives and the second one begins when we realise we only have one thank you

and that is from Tanya what a wise wise words wise message and I'm really glad that you had a great time Tanya and so pleased for you

Tanya to have beaten cancer is so wonderful to hear stories of people who have beaten cancer. You know, it's, you know, and what a way to celebrate, Tanya. I saw the footage of that gig. Joe Wiley, Lord Above, you look amazing. That's crowd, the roar of the crowd.

The clip I saw everyone singing, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. It always goes off when we play that. I love it. I can't keep still. The place is on fire. There was just an amazing energy in that room. And I don't know whether it's because everybody is so hacked off by the rain, by the news, by whatever rubbish is going on, by January.

And it was a Friday night. And they were just so happy to be out with their friends listening to really good music. They brought back great memories. And it was just like literally lifting the roof off the place. It was a really beautiful venue as well. But yeah, amazing energy. And you can't predict that kind of thing. Sometimes you interview bands and you say, where do you like playing?

And they'll go, oh, Glasgow's always really good. or whatever. And every gig is different, but that Bournemouth show was really special. And I don't know why. Brighton the week before was really great as well. I'm not detracting from any other shows that I do. But it was really lovely to see the power of music in full effect and to hear from someone like Tanya who's in, you know, on the next stage of her life and hopefully lots more adventures to come. And I'm really happy that you, yeah, that you had a good time. Yeah, you should understand the power of what you do, Joe, is so good because I'm working with an amazing lady called Michelle at the moment and she had gone with her old schoolmates, her old mates, they'd met in the 90s and they'd

gone to watch you in Brighton and she had just said that they had a joyous night out all together. And those feelings mean so much. So yeah, keep on doing what you're doing. Right. When you're coming back to somewhere I'm nearby. I need to look at your tour dates and I'm going to come out because Nell played a gig on Friday and was I allowed to go, no, I was not. No, I saw her. She looked amazing. Oh my gosh. She got in and she was a bit deflated and I was like, you're all right. And she was like, yeah, yeah. And her lovely boyfriend, Jacoby was like, she killed it. She absolutely killed it. So well done to her and Verity. I think they just had sort of finished early. She got moved from a small room to a big room. They were that good. So I'm so proud of those girls. They're amazing. And maybe one day I will actually be able to watch her doing a gig. It's under 17s. There's just no way I'm going. You're way too old. No. It doesn't matter what I do.

We can't pass for that. I'm not going to pass to 17. We've got an email from Lou. She says, I'd really value your advice on navigating life as a single woman when so much of society is organised around couples and families. I often feel like I'm living on the margins despite having a full life and strong values. Online dating has repeatedly left me feeling dismissed, horrifically sexualized,

and treated poorly by men looking for sex and nothing else. When I speak honestly about how hard this is, I'm often met with minimisation or told I'm taking life too seriously. Friends with partners and children can be unintentionally excluding. I'm often left out of couples' plans. And when I say how isolating that feels, I'm treated as difficult or made to feel ashamed for speaking up. Alongside this, I'm also navigating the quiet grief of not having children

or feeling like that possibility may be passing, a loss that's hard to acknowledge without being reassured away. What's compounded this is a broader sense of invisibility. Even political and public discourse overwhelmingly centres families with little acknowledgement of growing number of single person households or the realities of adult life outside Coupledon. My question is, how do you navigate this kind of compounded loneliness, dating, rejection, social exclusion and cultural invisibility without hardening or losing self-respect? How do you speak honestly about the pain of being single in a coupled world without being made to feel like the problem or told to just get out there? And how do you build a meaningful, dignified life when partnership and parenthood

haven't arrived from Lou? Lou, what an incredible message you have written there. And I am imagining there are lots of people listening who are nodding along and having very similar feelings to you. I really do, Lou. And it's different for you, Joe and I have kids, you know. Yeah. And we're both in relationships,

but I do have a lot of friends like you, Lou, who are on their own, who haven't had kids and have struggled with that and have struggled repeatedly with dating apps and how they can just make you feel so, worthless or you know unlovable or yeah it's it's it's a tricky worldly that just that phrase of sort of feeling invisible that is such a thing isn't it and also you talk about being hardened and

I think that's what you do don't you when you're constantly scrutinized or rejected or you're struggling you just toughen up I've got quite a few friends who I can think of who they're tough cookies because they've had to it's kind of society is necessitated that they just make their skin really, really thick. I think we need to open this up to our diggers because like Zoe said, we're both in relationships and we've got families. So it would be ludicrous to say we know what you're feeling. So I would love to hear from people, from diggers who can identify. And hopefully it will have helped you Lou because you know that you're heard. You've put your point across and you're sharing with everybody else. And I would love to hear, we would

love to hear from other people who can relate to you and can give you advice and who you can share stories with. I was talking to India, my daughter about this and she was saying, you know, a few of her friends who are mid-30s and they are single and they were saying it's incredibly hard. It's really tough that you feel really isolated when everyone else is coupling up and there are families popping up all over the place and you're the person who's single. And life is very, very hard. I can't offer a solution. I can't, you know, tell you anything more than that. But there will be people out there who will send us their messages. Voice notes are lovely because we can hear in your voices.

You can send how you're feeling. You can really be authentic and tell us your truth. So it'd be nice to hear. If you go to the show notes and leave some voice notes and then we can share next time and Lou can hear from you there. Lou, I have to say I have got some friends who are on their own and they are really happy on their own. They are really happy.

They have built a life around themselves. You know, I have to say actually two of my fabulous single friends have dogs. And I think their dogs have given them great company. They get out, they walk, they're quite independent. And they've both dipped in and out of the dating scene and have found it, you know, just too much. And so have sort of been through that process of slightly accepting that they're going to be on their own and that they're happier that way. And I think both of them, I look at them and I always think I'd love them to meet someone. But actually, if they are happy in themselves, they don't want to meet anyone.

I'm not saying that if someone came into their lives in some unique way and they found someone, they wouldn't be happy because maybe they would. But that doesn't work out for everybody. Lots of people have relationships that have left them feeling very alone. And is it not better to be on your own and feeling strong in yourself than being in a relationship where you do feel really alone or trying to. make someone who doesn't fit you and your life or they don't have the same morals or, you know, ideas as you, making them fit just because you should be in a couple, you know, in a way. It's really hard, isn't it?

We were debating this last night. Yeah. Is it better to be on your own and have what you need around you? And I think it's really sadly, if friends have slightly treated you like that. I don't know whether it's intentionally, but I, you know, because I have quite a lot of friends are on their own and you always try to include them in different ways, you know. And I spend a lot of time, I know I have kids and a relationship, but I do spend a lot of time on my own now. And I really love the company of some of my friends who are on their own as well. It does give you a certain

freedom, you know, that you're not answering to everybody else's needs. But Lou, obviously, you have needs and, you know, you do deserve that other people recognize that. And I don't know what the grief is like. I don't know how it is for people who wanted to have kids and haven't had kids. How that is, how they've come to terms with that. And I can imagine that is, you know, that is almost probably like a grieving. Oh, 100%. To go through that and accept that that's how it's going to be for you.

So perhaps people who've, in a situation like Lou, who have those feelings and have worked out ways that things that have helped them do let us know, that we can pass on to Lou. And Lou, it's lovely that you trusted us with writing that to us. And, you know, it probably stop us all in our tracks and go, actually, yeah, just give a bit of extra thought to our friends who are on their own or friends who didn't have kids or the friends who, you know, have felt really lonely at times. Do get in touch, diggers, with, you know, things that might help Lou. Just even to hear there are other people who understand Lou's feelings would be wonderful as well. January is when we recommit to the habits that support our health and well-being.

And naturally, we start looking at what can support those goals, including supplements. But choosing the right supplements can be confusing. Because not only are there so many brands out there, the supplement industry itself is a low-trust category. It's lightly regulated, products are easy to make, and companies don't even have to list everything on their label. Now, there's Momentus. They've become the high-trust brand and a low-trust category. They weren't satisfied with the industry standard, so they built the Momentus standard, their commitment to doing things the right way, not the easy way.

Momentus sources the highest quality ingredients on the planet. Their way protein comes from grass-fed European dairy cows. Their creatine uses the purest form of creatine monohydrate, and every formula is made with clinically backed, highly bioavailable nutrients, with no fillers and no artificial sweeteners. Right now, Momentus is offering listeners up to 35% off your first order, with promo code audio boom. Head to live momentous.com and use promo code audio boom for up to 35% off your first order.

That's livemomenus.com promo code audio boom. The difference between an emergency and non-emergency situation can sometimes be hard to spot. An emergency, like breaking a hip, requires a call to 911. But if a friend is having a mental health breakdown, call 2-1-1. If a water main breaks, contact 3-1-1. And for an incident like a past break-in, dial the non-emergency line. The right call gets you the right help. Learn more at Toronto.ca slash make the right call, a message from the city of Toronto.

Now, you may remember, we played out a video which kind of took our breath away and made us rethink our gardening techniques. There was a video of a speculum being used as a seed planter. Remember that one? How can we forget? Oh, well, Karen has sent us a voice note. Hi Joe and Zoe, Karen here from South Wales. I would just like to say how much I love and look forward to your podcast each week. I laugh, I cry and I really enjoy all your stories.

I was listening to your last show where you were talking about someone using a speculum in their garden. While you were talking about it, it just made me want to cross my legs. Well, I have a funny story about my best friend, which I think may help you relax next time you go for a smear. My friend went for a usual routine smear and the usual conversation has. happened between her and the nurse. Just relax, flop your legs, etc. And she then inserted the speculum. The nurse went to get the little scrappy thing and there was an almighty crash and clanging noise. The nurse then said, wow, good shot and great muscle work. The speculum had shot out of my friend and landed in a bin across the room. When she told me, she was mortified,

but I just couldn't stop laughing. I've never heard of anything like this happening before. It was so, so funny. Anyway, Please carry on the great podcast, and I can't wait to hear all about your new puppy Joe and your lodger, Zoe. Love your love. Oh, thank you. Amazing muscles. Oh, my God. Can you imagine the contraction then?

All that muscle control firing the speculum across the room and go la in the bin. I mean, that's fantastic. I just want to shout, go latio, hearing that. Wow, she must be proud of those muscles. Bring on the Guinese stories, please. That's what we're saying. I think. The guy.

Maybe just medical. And any more stories you might have that you could share with us on a voice note like Karen just did. We would love to share them with the rest of our diggers. I have a friend called Karen and she had a baby in what they said was about four minutes. She's really strong. She's a trainer and she literally fired her baby across the room and they caught the baby like a rugby ball. She was that strong. It was like, baby came straight out.

God, how amazing. Wow. Karen making us laugh there with a reference to puppy. and lodger. By the way, what's the puppy update? Well, okay, so we want to get a puppy because obviously we lost Brody and we've been looking into it. But because Christmas was such, there was so much going on. A challenge. There's a lot of challenging stuff. A challenge. It was a challenge. It was a lot going on. So I didn't have any headspace to get myself organized. And I didn't realize if you want to get a new puppy, you have to be really organized because we knew that we wanted

a dog similar to Brody. He was a spruedle, so a spring a poodle. So, and I know people will say go and get a rescue dog, but we really, really loved Brodie and we want a similar kind of dog. So we're looking at breeders. Oh my God, the wait list. The wait list when you go to breeders. Oh my gosh. Yeah, because they have litters. And if you go to a breeder now, they are looking at litters that are coming in in the summer in the autumn. Next year, you have to put your name on the waiting list to get these dogs. So we've seen an Australian Labradoodle, which looks pretty similar to a sprued and its temperament looks really like it will fit in without. family. So we're currently on a waiting list for an Australian Labradoodle. It's all hinged on whether the, whether the, how many puppies she has basically? She has nine. We've got a puppy. If she only has eight, we're moving on to another little list. So, but we, I was sent some amazing photographs yesterday of Australian Labradoodles doodles in utero, which I might, I'll have to ask permission, but if I can share, I will share. Well, they've sent you a scan of the babies. Yeah. Effectively.

I'm so involved with this puppy coming through. The whole family are. We've met this amazing woman and she is like, I want you to be involved every second of the way. So you call your puppy's being born and then you get involved, you know, as it comes along. And then it'll be very well behaved when it comes to live with you. So we're praying for nine. We're praying for nine.

Okay. Yeah. And hopefully, yeah, an Australian Labradoodle, they look very cute. I think it will get on well with Djanga, who's a very anxious dog. And we need someone who's quite calm to kind of suit the family because the cats are nuts, as you know. But yeah, so hopefully it's coming. I'll update you.

I think the pup dates. We need pup dates each week. I'll give you some pup dates. You're a good ball. Yeah, in a couple of weeks' time when they've been born. How exciting. So it's really exciting. It's really exciting.

I need to have a puppy in the spring because, yeah, just because of the way life works. So we shall see. Loads of you have been sending in very inspiring stories of finding the career that you love later on in life. Nikki has been in touch. Hi, Zoe and Joe. This is Nikki, the gardener. Coming to you from a greenhouse summer in the Coxwolds, I would just like to say that I have listened to your latest podcast and I was inspired to send this voice note to invite all of the people who might be thinking of changing career and becoming a gardener to give it a go because it is the most wonderful job. I've

I feel so lucky to have been in gardening for 30 years now since I was a teenager and very fortuitously got my first summer job in gardening and, you know, various other bits and pieces tried out in my late teens and early 20s, but very definitely committed to gardening in my mid-20s and have never looked back. I just love it. It has saved me so many times. you don't get to your, let's say, mid to late 40s on 46, turning 47 soon, and you don't get to this age without a few twists and turns and eating balls along the way. And gardening has saved me every single time. I am incredibly lucky. And as for merch, I would absolutely go for a bucket hat, a beanie and a baseball cap. I am a gardener of the fairest skinned variety,

and I love a bucket hat. Thanks so much for the podcast, loving it. Oh, Nikki, thank you. What a gorgeous voice you have, Nikki. I feel really calm after listening to Nikki. There you go. Nikki just saying, if anyone is out there in one career and think about changing

and you love your gardens, you're interested in plants and you're thinking, could this be something I could do? Nikki's giving you the big, come on, gang, welcome to the crew. You could start by doing your RHS level two studying. You know, you could start that way, or you could perhaps, I don't know, go and see if anyone's taking on volunteers in your local garden center or local gardens, perhaps. Very proud to say Eve, a very fabulous member of the Diggette team, went to a garden centre this weekend. She actually went there to get soil for her houseplants that needed repotting. But she's in Joe.

She's been. She's seen what's around. She's seen what's on offer. Come on, Eve. In you come to the gardening world. Oh, Nikki, honestly, I so loved hearing from you there. Yeah. Bucket hats.

Change bucket hats. I'm not sure. I can pull off a bucket hat. No, I'm not great in hats. No one can wear a bucket hat like Liam Gallagher. You know, I just, I would look ridiculous. I think we both said we've got faces that don't suit hats, right? No.

And it makes me sad because I see, I have an incredible hat collection. They just don't get worn because they just sit at my ears or a rubric fresh or yeah. And yeah. But, okay, we are working on the merch, though. We are working on the merch. We've got a couple of things in place that are happening. So fingers crossed, very soon, we'll have some news from you on merch. On the subject of garden centres, by the way, we had this message come in from Judith.

Again, glasses. I normally listen to dig it at around 2.30 in the morning, as that's the time that I'm always awake. I can't remember the last time I slept through the night, but on a Monday and a Wednesday, I don't really care. Joe, thank you for sharing your stories about your Christmas with Francis. I too have a brother who has additional needs. He lives in a great, supportive living place, and my mum at 92. still likes to have him home about once a month. She too is beginning to find it hard,

so I tend to help by taking him out for a walk, bringing him up to my house or going out for a coffee. This weekend, the weather was pretty awful, and I couldn't think what to do with him. And I remembered your podcast, and so I took him to the garden centre. He loved it. We looked at all the plants,

with him repeating all the names, all back to me. He loved the fish swimming around in the pond, and there were loads of other things, too. We only needed some feet for my pots to stand on, but we were there for ages. So thank you. You saved a wet, dreary Saturday, and I shall definitely be doing that again.

I love your podcast. It's so nice to know that there are lots of diggers going through similar things. I'm 60 next month. So happy birthday, me. Happy birthday, you, Judith. Happy birthday, Judith.

Oh, that is wonderful. And the joy of a garden centre when you are looking after somebody and you don't know what to do with them, where to go and how to spend the time. It's, yeah, there are really wonderful places to go. I just wanted to share one thing with which Judith you will definitely relate to, I'm sure. But my sister lives in a care home and she goes home once a month like Judith you say with your mum.

And this last weekend, I'd arranged to go and see my mum and dad in Francis. He's incredibly astute. And I spoke to her at one point in the days leading up to it. And I said, oh yeah, I might see mum and dad at the weekend. And she immediately knew that I was going to be going to the pub for lunch with them on Sunday. So she invited herself along. And in my head, I'm like, fine, of course, it would be really lovely. It would be mum and dad and me and Francis and we'll have a really nice time.

Mum and dad liked to go to the same pub all the time, the new inn. And so it all felt very familiar and lovely and comfortable. So I picked up Francis and we head to the pub to meet mum and dad. And the second I picked her up, all she could talk about was going home, going back again. And it was this obsession. And anybody who's ever had anybody in care, in residential care or maybe boarding schools come into this, I don't know, but that impending end of the time that you have together is torture. It really is. And it's there looming all the time. So you have this precious time together. But at the back of your mind,

constantly you're thinking, it's got to end. They've got to go back to the care home. They've got to go back to school. They've got to go back to wherever it is. And really, it's like the elephant in the room is this unspoken thing, except with Francis, it was very much the spoken thing. And she was unbelievably loud. It's hard to tell you how loud she was. She's very forceful. we went to the pub. We cleared the pub out within about half an hour. Literally, all the tables just kept leaving because she just talks to everybody. So the people who are sitting next to us, it's always the questions are, what's your name? Where do you live? Have you got a dog? What's his name? So you have the standard four questions. And everyone just left because they couldn't, I think quite a lot of them couldn't handle how loud she was being and she was interrupting their roast. And she was just fretting the whole time about going back. And it was really hard. It was really hard. It was really. difficult. So I just wanted to share that because I think there'll be other people who know what I'm talking about. She was just trying so many delaying tactics about putting off the inevitable of going back. I said I'd take her back at 5 o'clock. She kept saying 7 o'clock and then I'd go, okay, I'll take you back at 6. Then she'd say 8 o'clock. We just had this tussle the whole time. We went back to my mum and

dad's house. She went and got her pajamas. She tried to get into bed so that she could stay at their house instead of going back to the care home. And it's just, it was a very, very different. Yeah. It was a very different. Yeah. It was a lot. And, you know, mum and dad and I were looking at each other and we were going, in theory, this was going to be a really great Sunday lunch. And actually, it's pretty torturous, a bit for us, a lot for Francis. And we just had this loads of shouting. And then towards the end, I managed to just, I had to be really firm. You just become this person you don't want to be. And I was super firm. And I just had to say, right, get in the car now. We're going back. I never speak to anybody like that. And we got in the car and we just had this horrible, subdued journey all the way back to where she lives. and then dropping off is just very, very painful. You know, and she called me later that night. She was absolutely fine. She was really happy. All her friends were there.

But it's really hard walking away and closing the door. I'm sorry, that sounds like such a lot for all of you. No, that's, but it's life. It's how it is. Yeah, so I don't know. We'll be doing that again. Oh, gosh. The pub.

Yeah, the pub will be relieved. I love that. What's your name? Where are you from and have you got a dog? These are very important questions. And, you know, they're good questions to start a conversation with. I think split families really hard. Similar thing, you know, when you've got the kids for the weekend and then you've got to take them back.

Yeah. You know, they've gone and you're clearing up after when they've gone. You know, those things are difficult as well, aren't they? Absolutely, yeah. I don't think it's talked about very much. Yeah. I mean, I've always had that dreaded feeling on a Sunday night anyway about going back to work or, you know, know, for me, it was often,

television shows would come on or radio shows and then you'd feel that, oh, God, another week or, you know, and that could be because you've got to go back to a job that you're finding hard or, you know, but that sort of feeling of, and I think it is that thing when you've got your kids for the weekend if you're divorced or separated and you've got to take them back or you've got the kids for a day. And in that day, you want them to have the greatest time, but then you've got to take them back and then you've got to be big and brave and grown up and have a big cry when they've gone and missed them. And yeah, there's, there's probably a lot of people who this sort of

subject resonates with for all different reasons. Yeah. And what you think is going to be? Yeah, and what you think is going to be? Yeah, it's actually really quite difficult. I know, we all think we're really great at making things, you know, you have such great plans. It's all going to be fantastic. And then the reality is just not that. And that feeling of dread. That's why I wanted to talk about it, because I think you're absolutely right, Zoe, just with split families, that everybody will know that horrible, like the mother of all Sunday night feelings. It's just yuck awkward.

It really can be. Weeping silently into your pillow just going, oh, we're supposed, not supposed to be like this. Yes.

It's been ever so nice talking. God, we've covered so much. We have covered a lot. Yes. We have. Do get in touch with us. We love hearing from you.

We like helping to try and solve your dilemmas. We love hearing your stories and your experiences, your emotional ones and your funny ones. So get in touch with us. Just check the show notes to find out how.

I'll see you, Joe, on Wednesday. I'll be seeing you on Wednesday. Bye. See you Wednesday. Bye. Digit is a Persefonica production. Hey Ontario, come on down to BetMGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive.

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