Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball - 70: DIG IN: Thriving While Single and Talking to Your Kids About Dating

Episode Date: March 2, 2026

In this week’s Dig In, we have some great advice about how to live a fulfilling life as a single person in a world that can often seem like it’s built for couples and families. Also, an important question about how and when to introduce a potential new partner to your children. Plus, Jo & Zo share some more gynaecological giggles…For more from Lucy Meggeson on thriving solo, you can check out: https://www.lucymeggeson.com/book GET IN TOUCH📧 Email us: [e-mail]📱 Text or Voice Note: 07477 038795💬 Or tap here to send a voice note or message on WhatsApp:⁠ ⁠https://wa.me/447477038795SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSThis episode is brought to you by Saily, NS&I and Ancient + Brave✨ Traveling soon? Saily is an easy-to-use eSIM app that lets you download a digital SIM straight to your phone before you travel. No fiddly plastic cards and no eye-watering roaming charges. Just choose your destination, buy a data plan and you’re connected the moment you land. It works in over 200 destinations worldwide. Use code DIGIT for 15% off your first purchase at checkout. Download Saily via the App Store. https://www.saily.com/digit ✨ NS&I - Got plans for the future — whether it’s helping the kids, renovating the house, or finally sorting that savings pot? NS&I has been helping people save for over 160 years, and every pound you invest is 100% backed by HM Treasury. Start your savings journey today at https://www.nsandi.com/✨Ancient + Brave – This January isn’t about being “good”, it’s about having energy that actually lasts. Ancient + Brave’s True Creatine+ supports strength, cognition and steady energy without the jitters or crash. It’s neutral tasting, dissolves easily and fits effortlessly into real life. They’re also a certified B Corp and members of 1% for the Planet, so it’s good for you and good for the planet too. Subscribe and save 20% on your monthly wellness rituals, plus get a free ritual scoop. Head to ancientandbrave.earth to get started.CREDITSExec Producer: Jonathan O’SullivanProducer: Samantha PsykAssistant Producer: Eve JonesTechnical Producer: Oliver GeraghtyVideo Editors: Danny Pape and Jack Whiteside

Coming up on Digit, it is so hard to leave a relationship when you know it's the right thing to do. If you're getting waxed, people are like, oh, okay, yes, I'll do this. I'll move this lip here and I'll move that lip there and whatever it takes. My only advice to people would be if you're using hair removal cream, be careful around your rear. Is it burn? It can burn. Oh, you can't sit down for a long time afterwards. She said, yes, you've got a very small hole.

This stunned me a bit and I burst out laughing. Oh my God. All of that right after this. For hazelnuts. No, not crazy. Nuts. Booster juice is going bananas for hazelnuts. I mean, there are bananas and smoothies, but that's not the point.

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Try them today. Only at booster juice. Canadian-born. Blending since 1999. Monday morning. Good morning, Diggers. Good morning. Zoe Ball. How are you? It's March. I'm feeling quite Monday-like. But I will say how lovely is it. It is in the evenings. I'm like, hang on a minute. It's hard-past five. It's still light. Oh, thank God. Woo. Whoop. Yes. All of a sudden, I don't know about you. I've got the panic of like, oh, that Christmas food I ate. And then because the winter was really long and dark and I just kept on eating lots of croissons and drinking pints of lattes. And so I've made a memo in my phone today and it just says, no bad food.

So that's going to flash up every day and just remind me not to eat rubbish food. This is what happens. As we get into, as spring comes, you want to eat more healthy stuff. In the winter, I want custard and dough and I want crumbles and I want roasts. As spring starts to sort of flirt with us from the wings,

like, oh, hello, being all corn. you do start thinking, hang on a minute, yeah, maybe I want to eat a nice sort of, you know, a risotto. A quinoa salad. A lovely quinoa salad. You don't want to eat salad in the dark, wintery nights. You just want stodged and you want feeding. And we're bears and we're all starting to think, oh, is it time to come out? Yeah. So we know what you mean. I'm also very mindful that I've got a half marathon coming up in April, for which I have done practically no training whatsoever.

So from here on in, I'm going to be pounding the streets and reporting back when. whenever I speak to you. If anybody else has done a half marathon and you've gone from zero to 11 miles or whatever it is, if you've got any tips or advice, I really bloody well need them because I'm panicking wildly. I've come back from holiday and I've done so little and I feel really unfitest I've ever felt. So if yeah, any words of inspiration, please, I could do them right now. All right. Inspiration for anyone doing half marathons and indeed whole marathons because it's coming up in April, isn't it? And the London Marathon and so many other marathons. And I'd see people training all the time. I'm like, wow, you're amazing. If you're enjoying Dig It So

far, please hit follow or subscribe wherever you watch or listen. That way, you'll get new episodes delivered directly and you'll never miss an episode. As you know, we love hearing from you. You can always leave your voice notes on the show notes, all the details are there. But we heard from Lou recently and shared a message about the challenges of navigating life as a single person in a world which is built for relationships and families so often. And so many of you have been in touch to share your experiences, which has been brilliant. So let's share some of those. Fraser, for starters, Lou, you're not alone.

I'm living the same parallel life as you. Life seems to be designed for two people living and growing together, or for families of four. I think the only comfort I have to offer is that you have to get to a place where you really value yourself. That would be my contribution. And then when you step into the world where you're doing it from a place of peace with who you are,

people actually do recognise this. You give off a feeling, and people will warm to it. Live in the moment. Do not catastrophize. It's too much about the future. Each day is a new opportunity. And that is from Fraser.

Fraser, thank you for your wisdom and for your empathy as well. We say time and time again that this podcast is all about empathy and people knowing where other people are coming from. So Fraser, thanks for that. Yeah, that is wonderful from Fraser. You're so, so right. And I think often it's, you know, the rest of us can put upon people. It's like, well, would you like to meet someone?

because I have friends who are like, actually I'm really happy not meeting someone. I really love my life the way it is. And I've had to change my attitude to them. It's like, stop wishing for them to meet someone. And I've got friends who've been through loads of traumatic stuff who have said, oh, if I just met someone, it's like, no, just be you at the moment. Be there for yourself. Because meeting someone else who's just going to come into your life with a load more baggage

is not necessarily what you always need. So sometimes we've just got to reframe how we're. We see ourselves and reframe how we see those we love. We've also had this voice note from Lucy about her experience of moving through life as a single person. Hi, Joe and Zoe. First of all, thank you so much for your amazing podcast. I'm finding so much of it is really relevant to me and my life as a rapidly approaching middle-aged woman. Maybe I am middle-aged already.

Anyway, I've just listened to your episode and the email that Lou says, in about being a single person in a world full of couples and families and children. I couldn't not contact you. I was in a very similar situation to Lou in my mid-30s. I'd come out of what can only be described as a toxic relationship and I felt like if I didn't do something, I was going to miss my chance to be a mother. And to cut a long story short, I made the decision to have a baby on my own using an anonymous donor and I started fertility treatment on my own when I was 36 and after a very long road of nine rounds of fertility treatment. Three miscarriages including an ectopic pregnancy. My beautiful daughter Lila arrived in May 24 just before my 40th birthday. Not without drama.

She arrived seven weeks early. Bless her, my life. The whole road or journey to my daughter was incredibly complex, but I just wanted to contact you in the hope that this gets played. And Lou hears it to say that you don't have to have a man or a relationship to have a baby. If you have a look at the solo mum by choice community, there are so many amazing, inspiring, strong, wonderful women who have chosen to take this path. And I do include myself in that. And it's honestly the best thing that I have ever done. Lila is my whole world. I absolutely love being a mummy. And I genuinely don't feel the absence of a partner or a man. I have a really lovely group of

friends and my close family. And I couldn't imagine bringing Lila up in any other way now. So it was just to say that is definitely something to consider if you haven't already. But I'm sending Lou lots of love. It is a very difficult position to be in. But yeah, I highly recommend creating your own family and carving your own path without worrying about being in a relationship. Anyway, lots of love and thanks again for the podcast. Thank you, Lucy.

And she really went through it as well there. My goodness, me. That's a lot to deal with. It just shows how strong she has been, Lucy, and how determined and how wonderful that she has baby Lila. And, yeah, showing that it's, you know, you don't have to do it in the old ways. Yeah. You know, there are other ways to have kids and you can do it on your own. Sounds like Lucy's founded the perfect community as well, like other women out there who want to do this on their own.

And to be within that community, to have people to talk to, to have their support. how fantastic. So thank you very much indeed, Lucy, for sharing that with us. Lots and lots of love. We also got in touch with author Lucy Meggison, who helps single women reframe how they see their lives. Her book, Shining Happy Singles and Thrive Solo Podcasts delve into this very subject. And she sent us this voice note with some thoughts for Lou. Hey, Lou, I don't think this directly answers your question, but having hosted a podcast about single life for the last four years, this is what I feel called to say to you. With love, I don't think your singleness is the core problem here.

I think the story you're telling yourself about it might be. Often what hurts most isn't being single itself. It's the belief that you're not meant to be. We've grown up in a culture that tells us marriage and babies are the definition of success. So if that hasn't happened, it can quietly feel like you've failed. But that storyline is not a fact. it's something we've inherited. And if you're viewing your life through that lens

that partner with kids equals correct and single equals less than, of course it's going to feel painful. So here's what I would suggest. Work on the most important relationship of all, the one you have with yourself. Focus on becoming the most solid, alive, engaged, excited version of you,

not to increase the odds of finding a partner, but because when you genuinely feel good about you, when you're excited by your own life, you stop needing someone else to complete the picture. That is the shift. And yes, ironically, that's also when you're way more likely to attract somebody healthy because you're not operating from lack.

Also, pay attention to your mental diet. Who are you listening to? What are you consuming? Our inputs shape how we feel about ourselves more than we realize. And on loneliness, relationship status isn't the cure. There are couples people

who feel deeply lonely and single people who feel deeply connected. The question is how connected you are to yourself and your wider life. As for the grief around not having kids, that's so real, I felt it too,

but it doesn't have to define you. It can coexist alongside meaning and growth and joy. You are, are not alone. There are more single women than ever before and many are consciously choosing peace, autonomy and freedom over the wrong relationship. Your life is not on hold. It's happening right now. Sending you lots of love. What an amazing voice Lucy has. By the way. I believe her. I do whatever she told me to do. She's very commanding and very calm as well. Yeah. Really, really good.

She's really thought about this. She's really looked into it. She really understands it. She's living. it. So Lucy, thank you so much. And Lou, I really hope that those messages are of help and comfort to you. And you should definitely check out Lucy's podcast. I think that would really be brilliant for you as well. Booster juice is going crazy for hazelnuts. No, not crazy. Nuts. Booster juice is going bananas for hazelnuts. I mean, there are bananas and smoothies, but that's not the point. Banana juice is booster for hazel nuts. What? Just stop. Booster juice is going nuts for hazelnut, introducing the nutty monkey smoothie,

holy hazelnut asai bowl, and nutty booster ball, all made with rich, creamy hazelnut spread. Try them today, only at booster juice, Canadian-born, blending since 1999. Welcome home, Team Canada. Borettorchevo. Bien-vanido in Casa. Maligayang.

Welcome in Zuhouser. Access Storage congratulates Team Canada for all their perseverance, dedication, and commitment. for representing our country so well. Our athletes make us proud to call Canada home. Access storage, proudly Canadian and official storage partner of Team Canada. If you'd like these episodes ad-free, become a subscriber to the potting shed.

To subscribe, all you have to do is head to digipod.com.com. Or tap the link in the show notes, dead easy. Welcome back. We've had a question from an anonymous listener. And the subject is when to introduce a new partner to your kids after divorce. It goes, hi Joe and Zoe, I'm a huge fan of your podcast, love listening on my commute. I'm 46, I've separated from my husband 18 months ago. We've been together 25 years, so it's been a bit rough, which is an understatement.

My question is, I've started dating again via apps, as if I'm meeting new people is difficult at this age. But do I explain that to my two teenage boys, or do I leave it until I meet someone I want them to know about if that happens? For context, there was no third party involved in the breakdown of our man. It was driven by me because we'd grown apart and I was desperately unhappy. Consequently, my sons have blamed me for the huge change in their lives. Oh my God, that's tough. They see their dad regularly, but I'm anticipating resistance if they knew I was dating or if I was to introduce them to a new partner.

Keep up with good work. Oh, blimey. I mean, that must have taken an awful lot of strength and you must have been desperately, desperately unhappy. And I hope you're in a better and happier place right now. And, you know, somewhere along the line, your boys will understand that. But Zoe, I guess, I don't know, what do you think about this? This is something you've been through more than I have about introducing new partners.

Well, yes, I have. And quite a few times, another one, as my kids would say. No, I'm just kidding. But firstly, yeah, to the lovely lass who's got in touch, it is so hard to leave a relationship when you know it's the right thing to do. And there's so much, it's just so difficult. You feel awful for the person. left, you feel terrible for breaking up a family, you feel guilty for your kids, it is a lot.

And it does take such bravery. But when you're out and everything, the dust starts to settle, you realize that it is, you know, was exactly what you needed to do. And hopefully your kids, as they get older, you can talk to them a little bit more about, you know, why that happened. Sometimes you might not want to talk to them about that. They might not want to hear it. I think sometimes it takes for them to be adults themselves and be in relationships to realize how difficult it is really. But I do understand that guilt that you probably have in your heart. And I hope that you can let that go. And then dating again.

Well, goodness me. Introducing new partners is a tricky one. I think it's something that you just have to sort of go with the feeling of it. I think don't be too keen to do it. too soon. I think you can get carried away with the whole thing. I think it's okay to have a bit of a private life that isn't, you know, part of the kid's life for a little bit and see how that... I don't think they need to know the process, do they at this point possibly? No, maybe keep that to yourself because you're not fibbing to them. It's not that you're lying to them, but I think

you know, you might meet a few people and they might initially seem to be, fabulous. You may then get to know that they're complicated because it's really hard to get to our stage of life without baggage. We've all got baggage. We all have quirks. We all have strange behaviour. And initially you might meet someone and think, wow, this person's too good to be true. Sometimes they are. So I would just take this time for you for a little bit if I was you and enjoy that sort of dating process. You know, the apps are a little bit overwhelming and you kind of look and think, oh, there's so many people. And then you realize that actually a lot of them are not suitable.

But I have had lots of friends who've had great success on apps. My brother met his lovely partner, Tiff. She's fabulous. My lovely mate Lisa met her fella on apps. So I do know people who've met great people on apps. But, yeah, I would probably just leave that for yourself for a little bit. Enjoy that process. Maybe have some fun dates, see what's out there for you.

I know lots of people who do it. and then they feel really bad about it and they come off them again. So it is a bit of a process. And I think you'll know in time if there is someone who fits into your world and your life and just take it easy with that, I would. And then hopefully if you meet someone, you're like, oh, okay, yeah, this is all right.

You just need to get to know them what makes them tick and what's happened in their world. And don't let anyone push you into, because you are the only person who will know when it's right for you and it's right for your kids. But I wouldn't rush that. I think in the past I've rushed that by welcoming someone in and being like, here's my kids, here's my life, this is me, la la, la, la. And it's all a bit much. It's all a bit much for me. It's all a bit much for the kids. You know, I would take your time with it. And yeah, hopefully at some point, if there is someone where you think, actually this person's pretty cool

and they're pretty laid back and they're not going to come in and demand to be part of your kids' lives. Because I think the right person will respect your relationship with your kids, will respect, you know, the relationship you have with your ex

and they will, you know, sit back and you'll know when the time is right. You know, and I'd be wary of anyone who wants this to happen too soon for you. Make sure it's the right time for you. you because it's really not easy and kids react differently, you know, and they can be protective of the other parent and it can be so tricky. But yeah, I would take your time with it. Also,

enjoy the dating and I hope you get to meet some fun people. And I've had friends who've said, it's a numbers game because sometimes you might meet a lot of people. They might not be the right person. So yeah, take your time with it and have some fun. with it and let's know maybe anonymous how how it goes and if you do meet someone wonderful down the line because I really hope you do meet someone because there's a lot of fabulous people on their own out there looking for a bit of love. If anyone's been in a similar situation and you've got some great advice then then bring it on go to the show notes leave us a voice note or send us a message and we can share your own experiences it's always good to hear other people. Yeah good luck

with it fingers crossed. Okay moving on on the subject of transplants and smear it Lydia has been in touch. I've put my glasses on for this one. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing the story of the family transplant recently. I was a transplant coordinator for intestinal transplants and I feel so passionately about transplants. It's so important to raise awareness. I really hope that the lovely pair are still doing well. Also, there are options out there for people waiting for a possible donor, even if they aren't a direct match. After being a transplant nurse, I went on to become a practice nurse. And your recent episode about smears really. made me laugh. As I recalled, a friend of mine doing her smear training and she got the brush, the little plastic thing that we used to actually take the sample, caught in her hair. Can you imagine this? Oh no. I often wonder if the woman knew and if she does, does she recall the story with laughter? Oh my God. I love the pod. You've taken my pod virginity. I think we've done that with a lot of people, right? People who've never listened to podcasts before. This is their first. And I'm so pleased I waited until now as a 41-year-old perimenopausal mum, wife, daughter and nurse.

Thank you for spreading such important messages as well as bringing such joy. So thank you very indeed. And if I can reiterate two messages, talk about organ donation. You don't know whose life it could change. Absolutely. And get your smears done, ladies. If you're nervous or you're scared, come and speak to your practice nurse first. It really does save lives. There is no doubt about that at all. Thanks, guys. Love you lots. And that is Lydia, the wonderful Lydia, from Oxfordshire. Great message, thank you. That is a great message. Oh, blimey. So many medical mishaps. Oh, the brush getting caught in the, oh, God. I don't know where I'm thinking, actually, where the brush is, yeah, oh my lord. No, I know, immediately I'm thinking pubic hair,

but I don't know why in my head, what my mind wrong there. Pubic hair. Hi, hi. More smear test stories. This voice, no, is from Debbie. Hi, Joe. Hi, Zoe. This is Debbie from Wiltshire. Love the podcast. It's, like having a morning with some very good friends, so thank you for that. Just phoning in to tell you about my gyne story. So on my last smear, the lovely nurse at my local surgery, Tracy, was having a little bit of difficulty getting a sample. At one point, she went, oh, so obviously I said, what's going on? Are you having a problem? She said, yes, you've got a very small hole. This stunned me a bit, and I burst out laughing. She said, what's wrong? Well, I said, can you imagine when I tell that to my husband,

and he's going to be delighted, at which point we both cracked up. When I got home and told my husband, he just said, God, I'm just so lucky. Happy days. Oh my God. I love that we can have these conversations. I really, really do.

And that we can laugh at it all because, oh, my goodness me. I will never forget that there was some artist, Dan in Brighton, who did the Great Wall of Vagina. I might have talked about this before, where he did plaster of Paris models of women's areas. Oh, I remember this. And then did this on a big wall.

And he did my friend M. And I was like, so hang on a minute, you went in and then he covered you in plaster of Paris. Anyway, but the great thing about seeing the great all of vagina was just all the different shapes and sizes of everybody. And that's why I quite like occasionally watching naked attraction. Because, you know, whenever you think about your body and you think, oh, I'm to this and I've not got that. and these are down here and that's around there. Look at everybody else's bodies. We are all different shapes and sizes.

None of us are the same. And, you know, the great thing is is that it doesn't matter. And some of you here and around there and some are neat and some here and there. And there's nothing like seeing everybody else thinking, wow, we really are very, very different. None of us are alike.

Yeah. And that's why you should never be embarrassed to show your bits to a doctor or a nurse. Yes. Ever, ever, ever. They have seen everything. cast in plaster of Paris, you know? Yeah, or that.

Or that. Never stress. Never stress about it. Which is the perfect way into this next message, I believe. Some very wise advice from Janine on this very subject. Hey, Jan Zoe. Love the pod. Firmly one of my favourites now.

I can't wait to listen every week. I just listened to the episode about the lady shooting the speculum across the room, which made me laugh. What a girl. Absolutely brilliant. I just wanted to say I am an intimate waxer. So I see ladies' bits day in, day out. And I wanted to really say that I know a lot of people find it really hard, a lot of ladies find it really hard and find it embarrassing. But believe me, there is nothing to be embarrassed about to anyone, you know, that works in our profession or works as a nurse. really is just another body part. It's just like seeing an arm or seeing a leg.

It doesn't faze us at all. You know, we're not judging you. It's just a job. So, yeah, I just wanted to put the word out and say, please don't be scared about going for your smear test. There's nothing to be worried about. It really isn't. And, yeah, it really does save lives.

So go and get it done. don't panic. Yeah, like I said, it's just a job and just another body part. Take care. Keep on with a pod. We love it. Thank you, Janine.

Thank you. That's the funny thing, isn't it? People will go and get wax. Yeah. But they won't think anything of it. You'll be like, you know, oh, I want a Brazil. I want everything off and I want my bum done as well.

And you'll do whatever. You'll get into all kinds of positions. And if it's someone who's a beautician, you don't think so much of it. Whereas if it's a doctor going, okay, open your legs, let me have a look. You just feel a little bit cringe. You can do.

I do not, but, you know, I can understand why people do. But if it's, if you're getting waxed, people are like, oh, okay, yes, I'll do this. I'll move this lip here and I'll move that lip there and whatever, whatever it takes. I'll do that. Yes, I know. I can't do it. My only advice to people would be if you're using hair removal cream, be careful around your rear. Because if it goes to the two.

It can burn. And, oh, you can't sit down for a long time afterwards. So just, yeah, I'm sort of, I go sort of a bit sparingly with cream now. Maybe I should go and see Janine. No, can it works. Just get it, get it work. I can't do it anymore. I can't take the pain anymore.

I'm such a wuss these days. I tell you. I haven't got the hair anymore. Oh, well, and then it all starts to fall out. We've talked about the Dickie Davis. Thank you for getting in touch. We do love hearing from you. Your moving stories, your funny stories, anything you'd like to discuss with us.

And you can remain. anonymous if you're sharing sensitive subject matters that you don't particularly want anyone to put your name to. Although we're open here, you can share anything you like, and Joe and I frequently do. So feel most at home. Anyway, should we march on into March, Joe? I think so. I think so. I've got to check with one of my family members. There is a medical story, which I'm dying to tell, but I need to get their permission first of all. Okay. It's kind of along the lines of speculum. So I'll leave you on that cliffhanger. Doof, doof, doof.

Next time on Digit. Yes. Okay. Perhaps. I will beg. All right. Have a lovely rest of the week and I'll see you on Wednesday. And you, darling.

Let's hope for some sunshine. All right. Bye. Lots of love. Digit is a Persefonica production. Hey, Ontario. Come on down to BetMGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick.

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