Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball - 79: DIG IN: Should I Feel Guilty For Moving Away From My Parents?

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

Hannah asks a question about how to manage the guilt of moving away from parents, especially as they get older. Katrina wants to know all about any tall tales that friends and family have convinced us are true over the years. Amanda has a hilarious story about a misidentified ‘toy’ that ended up causing a stir in the local charity shop. Plus, we share your brilliant robot lawnmower name suggestions… Keep ‘em coming!The organisation that Jo mentions which helps siblings of those with additional needs is called Sibs - you can find out more about their work here: https://www.sibs.org.uk/GET IN TOUCH📧 Email us: [e-mail]📱 Text or Voice Note: 07477 038795💬 Or tap here to send a voice note or message on WhatsApp:⁠ ⁠https://wa.me/447477038795SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSThis episode is brought to you by The Woodland Trust and Visit Scotland & Trip Advisor.CREDITSExec Producer: Jonathan O’SullivanProducer: Samantha PsykAssistant Producer: Eve JonesTechnical Producer: Danny PapeVideo Editors: Cameron Laird and Jack Whiteside

Coming up on Digit, Disco Steve has for about three decades now been saying that he's 19 years old. Whenever anybody says, how old are you? He's always like, yeah, I'm 19, I'm 19. 19 forever. The thing you want more than anything in the world is for your children to be happy. Yeah. So there is this selfless thing inside you that you just go, it's fine. Sometimes I've heard stories back to me thinking, how to me, that's my story and that's been told to me, well, that never happened. They found what they thought was a dog toy, and put it in the window of the show. You imagine people going past going, what the dickens is that?

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a month. Hi, Joe. Hey, hello. Happy Monday. I'm back to the single-hand wave rather than the double hand wave today, just in case anyone's wondering. Okay, casual for a Monday morning.

Nice and cash. It's time to dig in with our fabulous diggers such a brilliant community. And you mentioned last week your incredible robot lawnmower. And you didn't have any names for your robot law moors. So we've had suggestions from Diggers.

And they're very good. Of course they are. Linda suggested Burton Ernie. You know how I feel about Muppets? Yes, I know. She hates Muppets. Jodie wrote surely Liam and Noel. Oh, that's good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which way around do you say it? One of our YouTube viewers suggested Professor Green and Cut Burns. Oh, good. I like that. It's the way you're. tell them, Eve from Team Diggett, the fabulous Eve, suggests Jude Lawn and Chapel Moan. I love that. That's my favourite, Eve. I love it. They are good. And finally, Emma sent this voice note.

My friend has a garden lawn cutting robot and she calls him Jason. Jason Mamoa. Oh, boom. I love it. Emma, that's so good. I've actually, because we have a gardener, and then we have a field behind it and I get that cut as well with a robot and it's grown and it's really hard to get on top of it. So as I speak to you right now, somebody has brought along an even bigger like the mother of all robots and it's going to have a go of tackling the field. So I'm really very, very excited. So I might, that might be Chapel Mone maybe. She might be the one who's going to conquer the field. Fantastic. I know. It's so exciting. I had so many people messaging me after I talked about it, just going, but do they really work? And do you have to pick up all the grass

cuttings? I'm like, no, they really, really do work if you want to go down that route. And you don't have to pick up the grass cuttings, which is the best thing. It just all goes back into the ground. Into the ground. They are perfect. All I want to sing now is robots in disguise. It's that Transformers? Transformers, robots in disco. I like the idea of a garden lawn mower that can also double up as, I don't know, something else. I'll think about that. Quick reminder to please hit follow or subscribe wherever you watch or listen. That way you get brand new episodes directly to you as soon as they're out. We have heard from Katrina who has been in touch. Here's Katrina.

Hi, Jo and Zoe. This is Katrina from Octumokti and Fife. So my husband is always winding people up and telling them stories for a laugh. So much so that half the time he don't believe him when he tells us something. The problem is that he often forgets to tell the person that, it's not real and they find out ages after. A great example of this is that when our daughter was young, she asked her dad how he met me and he told her that the travelling shows had come to time and that I worked on the change booth and had a large Alsatian named Thor. He fell in love with me and when the carnival moved on, he persuaded me to stay and I stayed here with them and we got

married. A few years later, we were talking with friends and I was saying how I was scared of dogs and our daughter piped up. But how can that be, mum, as you had a big Alsatian dog named Thor? Yes, he had forgotten to tell her that it was just one of his stories. My question to you is whether you know anybody like this, always on the wind up, or if you have been told a story and later find out it was not true and made up for fun. Oh, family folklore. That's Katrina. That is so priceless. The only thing I can think of is that Steve, Disco Steve, has for about three decades now been saying that he's 19 years old. And whenever anybody says, how old are you?

He's always like, yeah, I'm 19. And Coco, growing up, just assumed that he was 19. Every year, every birthday, I'm 19. Yeah, and all her friends would come around. And he'd be like, yep, still 19. And really, really did last for a very long time. And then just over the past couple of years, she was like, you're not 19, really, are you? And he was like, yes, I am.

Obviously, he will never admit he's not 19. And in his heart, he always will be 19 years old. 19 forever. Yeah. That's great. Cortina's a good song. I like it. What about you?

Anything? I do you know what? We have a great friend, Eva, and she loves to retake. She's really good at telling stories of nights out and funny things that have happened in our past. But she always adds a little extra something to each story, which hence she, James, her partner, calls the Eva tax with added Eva tax. So every story gets a little bit more embellish. And so sometimes someone will be telling me a story and I'm like, hang on a minute, did Eva tell you this story? Because it's got the little added Eva tax.

And it's like, why let the whole truth get in the way of a great tale? Yes. And sometimes I've heard stories back to me thinking, hang on a minute, that's my story. And that's been told to me. Well, that never happened. As it Eva tax. She's genuinely one of my funniest friends. I frippin love that girl.

And I guess there's a few stories from over the years that, you know, because there's stories about your family, you know, get passed on. Yeah. They do, everyone adds a little bit to the story, don't they? So, yeah. And there are some stories that my kids ask me and say, tell me the story about when this happened. And sometimes I think that really did happen, didn't it?

Yeah, it did. Yeah. Like my dad once drove into a reservoir and a sports car. That's been a story that's been told a lot. there's been a great story about my fabulous late godfather Tony who was the most amazing man adored him getting stuck in the back of a car and having to be cut out by the fire brigade but you know they're just really funny funny stories like that but um i have to say your fellow sounds amazing and also why can't it be true that the travelling show came into town she was working on the change

booth and had an Alsatian called Thor. Katrina, I think that's the best story. I would stick to that being the truth. That's brilliant. It's funny, Jude, I've just remembered now. He's our storyteller. He's a writer, so he's very, very good. He has always had an amazing imagination.

And whenever he is telling the story, he will give all these details, he'll say about things that have happened, and then he'll do this grand exit and walk out of the door, and the rest of the family will be able to kids. We'll turn to each other and we're like, did that really happen? And it's always Jude's version of events.

like your lovely friend, Eva. Yeah. It's just, he sees the world in a different way. And his world is so much more technical and fascinating than anybody else's world. So he confuses quite a lot of us some of the time. You know, we're just like, oh, well, maybe that did really happen. And I prefer to believe that Jude's version of events is the reality because it's so much more exciting. Yeah, Jude's version of the technicolor world that is so good.

Do you know what? I saw recently that I think Yor Coco had shared about him doing the Jack the Ripper talks. and the walks in London. And I was talking to a friend of mine, and they were like, we went on one of those. And it was Christmas and it was really festive. And, you know, like everybody,

and really scary and brilliant. I need to go on Jude's tour. I'm going to sort that out. Because he's, you know, the ultimate storyteller. He is. He really is. He embellishes it. He's,

yeah, he's very, very theatrical. The Jack the Ripper tour that he does. He's very excited. I think you go on, you go to pubs as well. I know it's not necessarily your thing. But if you take your mates along, you go to these pubs that have a place in the story as well.

of Jack the Ripper. So I'll have a word with him. I'll see if I can get you a space and you should definitely do it because it's a lot of fun. I really want to do it. Moving on on the subject of decision fatigue, which we were discussing in previous episode, Lauren has been in touch and she says, I've never felt brave enough to message in, but Laura's message about the half term that she endured rather than enjoyed and feeling unable to make decisions just really resonated with me. I wanted to offer solidarity and support to Laura and anyone else who might be feeling a similar way. My situation is very different, but also means that weekends and school holidays are very difficult. My eldest son is autistic and is essentially housebound, other than going to a

special school. My younger son, who is now eight, has therefore grown up being at home most of the time, as we haven't really been able to take him anywhere due to his brother's complex needs. I feel so bad about the lack of opportunities for my younger son and everything that he's missed out on in his childhood. We can't go on holiday, we can't go on family trips or even get him to after-school clubs because I have to stay at home with his brother. Despite all this, my younger son is a content soul and hardly ever complains or compares our situation to that of his friends. I said how bad I felt about all of this to a friend and she said, but don't forget that he feels safe, he feels loved, secure and happy. I think we forget sometimes that what matters the most

is not how many sports they play or how many holidays they go on, but they know that they are loved to their very core and are good enough just as they are. I agree with you both that Laura needs to give herself a break. Be kinder to herself and remember it's okay not to be full of ideas all the time. There's so much pressure to do this and to do that and that is completely overwhelming in itself. Lord, if you get your kids out on a dog walk, that is a massive win. Remember that. Thank you, Zoe and Joe, for keeping me company on my very long school. runs and that is from Lauren. Thank you, Lauren, for sharing. Can I just mention there's a really great group called Sibs, which is for siblings who have someone who has learning disabilities or

differences in their lives. And it's a great support network for siblings of all ages. So, you know, whether you're eight years old, like your son is Lauren or whatever age, whether you're like me, they're great. So if you want to look them up, if that is something that's relevant to your life, Sibs might be a group that you should check out. They're on Instagram. and I'm a big supporter of theirs. They're really good. And that probably resonates with me a little bit because my sister always complicated things when it came to going out and going on holidays because we couldn't do anything that people normally did. So we compromised things. But I always felt loved. I've never ever had a chip on my shoulder. People have always said, you know,

it must have been really hard for you. And I'm like, no, because she was just my sister and it was fine. We just played together. And we were really very, very content. So if you can take that, Lauren, and hopefully that will be some sort of solace to you as well, that it was. was it was fine. It really was. Laura, hopefully you'll take that too. It was okay because we knew that we were loved and it's good to just kind of entertain yourselves a lot of the time. Yeah, and Lauren, top mumming there that you're doing and thanks for writing in because that will be a great comfort to Laura and to other parents out there who are listening and, you know, go girls. You're doing great being moms. Sounds like you're pretty amazing and your kids sound

amazing as well, Lauren. Joe, it seems there is no end to our diggers' sex toy stories. And we are here for them. Thanks very much to Amanda, who has sent us this voice note. Hi, Joe and Zoe. It's Amanda here from Northumberland. I heard a funny story in our village recently. We have a great little community shop which sells stuff

and gets donated to different charities. And somebody bought a bag in of bits and pieces and the ladies in the shop were putting all the bits and pieces out. and they found what they thought was a dog toy and put it in the window of the shop. It sat there for a couple of hours before somebody came into the shop and said, do you know what you've put in the window?

The toy was rapidly removed. It's created such a buzz around the village. It's hilarious. Love the podcast, really enjoying it. Thank you so much. Bye. Oh, God, it gets better and better. Amanda, that is joyous.

I love it. you imagine people going past going, what the dickens is that? It's amazing what they sell in charity shops these days. I know. Look what you can get, your second-hand. That's one second-hand thing you probably don't want to be buying really as well. You might want to buy those sorts of things new. Box fresh.

But that's wonderful though, isn't it? What's this? I don't know, Deidre. What's that? Well, it's quite fancy. Put that in the window. Suddenly like a rush. These are great.

I feel like there'll be no end. No. And beautifully told Amanda as well. That was beautifully told. Thank you so much. Just sending that and giving us a little titter. A little titter on the sex toys. Woo-hoo.

Hannah sent us this email. For the past 15 years, my family and I have lived next door to my parents, which, as you can imagine, has his ups and downs. They've been such a massive help to us when we've needed childcare or dog care. You name it, they've always been there to help. Our situation is,

that we rent this house and we're now in a position to get a mortgage, something I have always hoped would happen one day. How do I break it to my parents? I try and hint all the time about one day when we own our own house, but my mum in particular always shuts it down. Oh, bless her. I know it would be a massive change for us all. My daughter can't imagine living anywhere else.

And I'm pretty sure she thinks we'll build her a house in the garden when she's older and carry on living like the Brady Bunch. Although we would only be moving 20 minutes away, I still feel sick every time I think about telling them. I try to tell myself that it's our life and we will always be there to help them when the time comes. But why do I feel so guilty and like I'm being so selfish? Any advice you and your lovely diggers can give me

would be much appreciated. Keep up the amazing work you're both doing. It's so refreshing to hear that we're all in the same boat, navigating all the shit storms life has to throw at us. Here, here. Lots of love, Hannah, a guilt-ridden 40-plus-year-old from beautiful Dorset. Oh, Hannah, that's such mixed feelings, isn't it? Because this is something you've probably wanted for so long and it's finally happening. You should be so excited about it and not be feeling guilty. Poor love. Yeah. But I can understand that this is going to be hard for your, for your mum to hear. But I think,

think in a way you've got to rip the band-aid off, haven't you? You've got to rip the plaster off and just get it done because it feels like such a difficult conversation to have. But I think the sooner you do that and the sooner your mum can adjust to, you know, it will be different and your daughter. But in the long run, happy mum, happy family, everybody will be okay. And you're going to have a new home and it's going to be so exciting. And you should be able to get excited about that. Joe, what do you reckon? It's incredibly complicated, isn't it? I remember when I moved away and we ended up coming back to live near my mum and dad, and there's always a little bit of you that goes, oh God, what if I had moved to Cornwall or to Brighton or somewhere and lived this

life, and it would have been great. But I always felt like I had to be near my parents and near my sister, just to be on hand all the time. So, you know, there are conflicting feelings all the well, but now I've got four children of my own who are all growing up and they're going away and moving to different places. Ultimately, you know, as a parent, you might not like something. You might want your children to live like the Brady Bunch for families to live like the Brady bunch all the time. But actually, the thing you want more than anything in the world is for your children to be happy. It's weird. So there is this selfless thing inside you that you just go, it's fine, you know, and it's good. I want them to be happy. I want them to have their own house.

And I mentioned this, that India's moved out and she's got her own place. And I don't want to go on right too much, but it's taken a period of adjustment. But I'm really enjoying having the house and the space and doing interior, decorating and getting everywhere nice and having our own space again. And I'm more happy that she's got her own place. I cannot tell you how, what joy it gives me. We went to visit her yesterday and we went for a walk in the surrounding area with her and Alex. And it was beautiful. And they're getting the floor sanded.

And all those things are really, really. exciting as a mum. You're just like, oh, this is brilliant for them. So your mum, Hannah, will be exactly the same. And also, she will be really grateful that you're only moving 20 minutes away. Trust me. And 20 minutes is not far. No. If you said you were going to Australia, that would be completely different, but she will be really, really grateful that it's only 20 minutes away. And she will be more than anything in the world happy for you. I promise you she will. There might be some, you know, undercurrents. There might be a couple of comments at times because we can't help ourselves. And she might be sad. And she probably will feel.

sad. But more than anything in the world, forget all that that. She will put that in a box and she will be really happy that you have a place and you are moving on to the next stage of your life. I promise you. Yeah, absolutely. We just come to terms with these things and it's all right. And the kids are just, they really do. And I think you're sort of doing it gently and then, you know, doing that thing of, but the great thing is you're going to have this, this and this, you know, and like you say, Joe, there might be the occasional comment. Yeah. But you can take that. Yeah. It's so, it's so tough, isn't it? You just want everyone. As a mum, you just want everybody to be happy, your parents and your kids, but actually you need to be happy, Hannah.

And this is the beginning of a really exciting adventure for you. And I'm so glad that you've got to this point. I can't imagine that whole idea of a new home and it's going to be your home. And that's so important. And your excitement about that will then spread to the rest of the family. And everyone will adjust and get used to it pretty quick, I think. Adjusting is the word. It's just you just have to get used to things being different. But different is good. different is good. It's been really nice today. Thank you to all our diggers. We love this gang and all these stories

that we're just going through the same things together and sharing funny stories and sharing stuff that is moving us or problems that we're facing at the moment. It's a wonderful, empathetic community. Thank you so much. I've got a dash now because my sister, who lives in supported living,

is having her garden redone. Or it's not her garden. It's the home care homes garden. So it's all being landscaped. It's being planted. They're taking things down. They're moving it all around. And all the residents there are going to have a new space.

And they've needed it for so long. So it's really exciting. Work starts today. And the first thing they're doing is taking down the shed that she goes out to. She loves to go and sit in the shed. And it's got loads and loads of fairy lights outside and inside. So it's somewhere that she can be that she really enjoys being. And they're ripping it down today.

So I need to get over there because I can imagine when they start disassembling that, she's going to go bonkers. Frances is not going to be happy. Francis is not going to be happy. So I need to get myself there and just go, it's okay, they're taking this down. There's going to be a new one coming. As we've just been talking about, you know, Hannah,

change is frightening, but change is good. And that's what I've got to try and get across to lovely Francis. So I'm going to go and do that now. Good luck. Thank you. All right, darling. I'll see you on Wednesday. Yeah, see you.

Take care. Lots of love. Bye. Bye. Digit is a Persefonica production.