Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball - DIG IN: Feral Weeing, Grief and Toothbrush Etiquette

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

Jo and Zoe answer your questions on coping with grief, navigating retirement after decades of work, and the perils of living above a pub. Plus, just how clean is your toothbrush? GET IN TOUCH 📧 Email us: [e-mail] 📱 Text or Voice Note: 07477 038795 💬 Or tap here to send a voice note or message on WhatsApp:⁠ ⁠https://wa.me/447477038795⁠⁠ GET EARLY AND AD-FREE EPISODES Become a member of The Potting Shed for early and ad-free episodes and bonus content 👉⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://digit.supportingcast.fm/⁠⁠ SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS This episode is brought to you by Airbnb and Eight Sleep. 🌍 Airbnb — Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at https://www.airbnb.co.uk/host/   🛏 Eight Sleep — Meet the Pod 5 (and Pod Blanket): cool or warm each side, track sleep, and help reduce snoring. Up to £350 off with code DIGIT: https://eightsleep.com/digit  CREDITS Exec Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Assistant Producer: Eve Jones Technical Producers: Oliver Geraghty Video Editors: Danny Pape and Jack Whiteside Dig It is a Persephonica production

Coming up on Diggets. It's a year and a bit since you lost mum. I still get quite emotional, so I'm talking about mum even now. Of course you do, it's really hard. It was a few months later that the wheels came off for me. I had a proper emotional breakdown. If I stay in a hotel, I always put my toothbrush away. Because I always think if you do something that pees off the person who cleans your room,

what if they use your toothbrush to clean something in the room? Oh my God. I love a feral wee. I don't like a feral wee. So you're not slightly concerned that you might. be seeing you when you're wing. Oh no, when you've got to go, you've got to go. All of that, right after this. At Harrison Healthcare, we know that lasting health starts with personalized care. We're not just a clinic. We're your partner in prevention, helping you achieve your health

and longevity goals. Our expert team combines evidence-based medicine with the compassionate, unhurried care you and your family deserve today and for many years to come. When it comes to your health, you shouldn't settle for anything less than exceptional. Visit Harrisonhealthcare.ca. slash Toronto. Happy Monday. Happy Monday to you. How are you gorgeous? Yeah, yeah, no, I am I good. I love the way I have to think about how I am in the mornings. I do the same. I think, oh, I seem to be in quite a good mood today. Arrah. Yeah. Am I hurting? Where am I hurting today? No, I'm not hurting. This is good. Oh, don't. Honestly, my hip is hurting. So my much in the night. Do you take anything for it at all? I have got loads of turmeric and I forget to

take it. We're now heading into the term time of my lives where we have those pill trays. Are they when they? It's like Monday, Tuesday. I have them. Have you got one already? I have got a pill tray that my mate M bought me and it's so brilliant, but it's got the morning and the evening. Yeah. But now I can't get everything into it. So I've just, I've dumped that and I'm now I've just got a Tupperware box and on every Sunday I pour a load of things into it. And then I look at them and go, right, well, I'll take one of these, three of these, two of those. From our issues to your issues, this is where we do dig in every Monday morning. We just want to hear from you and what you've got to say.

And if we can discuss or help out in any way, shape or form. Yeah. We've had a WhatsApp from Debbie. She says, my lovely friend, Andrea, put me onto your podcast. And as I mourn the death of my lovely dad, oh, Debbie, I'm so sorry, 12 days ago, your helping me as I navigate this new era of life. My question, how do you navigate hard and difficult times in life? Keep inspiring me and thank you, Debbie from Elgin. Debbie, I'm so sorry to hear about your dear dad. And that's so, so recently, my love. Yeah, so fresh. We send you love.

I can only imagine how you are at the moment. You're just lost in this time at the moment. It's so hard just you're just getting through each day at this point aren't you this is one for you zoe probably having lost your mum well yes how do you navigate i think someone said to me once just tiny steps tiny steps each day it's an interesting thing as well when you lose someone just getting through the initial days is surviving and sometimes you look back and you think i don't even know how i got through those days and how do you get through often with the love of great friends or family, the people who are there for you and the people who just know,

they can just look at you and say, what do you need? Well, don't you need? And there's often only a few people who can do that and they are, oh, they're so special, those friends. And when you lose someone close to you like that, in the beginning there's so much to do and it's strange how you can go into, right,

organisation, we've got things to organise, there's lots to do. And so that gets you through that initial bit and then it's the after that is the toughest time. And I'd say Debbie just go so easy on yourself. After losing mom, I kind of got through the bit of her being ill with my brother and the help of some, my mom's real wonderful friends and my loved ones.

And then we got through the after bit. It was after that that the wheels came off for me. It was a few months later and they properly came off. Had you gone back to work at that point? I had to stop working. Yeah, I was on the floor in the kitchen. I couldn't move. Yeah. I had a proper emotional breakdown. You know, I haven't really talked about it actually very much. Yeah. But it was, yeah, it was brutal. And I think also when you've lost people in your life, then another thing that happens is you have grief on grief. And what can happen is the grief of one loss will open up the grief that you've experienced for other losses. And that can be quite weighty. And everyone's experience is different. Yeah. The things I have learned is.

Yeah, lean on your dear ones. If you can ask for help, if you need it, do that. I had an amazing doctor who turned up at my door with coffee and bagels and said, So we need to get you some help and he was wonderful. It's a year and a bit since we lost mum and I found her birthday this year. The toughest, the toughest, you know, a whole year later. That was brutal. It was a week of absolute.

weeping and stuff like that. So I send you so much love, Debbie. How did you get the support through that week? What happened? Did you, were you with your brothers, with you with your family, with friends? What did you do? You know, my mum's best friend. Yeah. I love to pieces and I actually turned up at her door. I was taking her flowers because she misses my mom terribly and I ended up turning up on the doorstep and not being able to stop crying. Yeah. And, and then sort of leaving and but she gets it. She totally gets it and she's so there for me. And then friends, my close buddies who've lost loved ones.

And we, you know, it's terrible. Isn't it? The older we get, the more people we lose, you know, whether it's to illness or whether it's our parents or our friends, which, you know, I know you've gone through a lot, Joe as well. And it's really tough and you find different ways to cope. I definitely, I found a really good therapist. I talked to about losing my mum. So therapy, therapy was really helpful.

Therapy was really helpful. There's some really good books on grief. as well and I'll put up some of those books on my socials actually that would be good if you could but I think leaning on your loved ones is is the best thing and also just not being afraid to weep weep a hell of a lot there's a lot of crying there's a lot of pain that has to come out so yeah it's it's really tough I still get quite emotional talking about mom even now you know of course you do it's really hard someone said to me once taking a walk for people you love is a really good thing. And so I have a little spot I go to at the top of the downs and I go up there

and I take roses and I stick them in this little fence because then they'll just buy a grade and then they'll go back into the earth. But it's a little place I stop. It's right at the top and I stick the roses in and yesterday I was taking roses for mum. I took one for Billy. I took one for a friend Zoe, a friend Charlotte. I mean it's, you know, my friend's sister. There's more and more people to take them for and you just but that little moment and the clouds are really black and gray and i sat there and i'd take my little cup of coffee and i just chatted to all of them because sometimes i talk to them all the time and then sometimes i don't and of course you're talking to yourself really but i'm talking up to the sky and then the clouds cleared and the sun shone down on my face and it felt so

powerful and then you know i had my little chat with everybody i asked them to watch over various people yeah like will you just will you watch over woo and when you watch over so and so who's having a hard time and you know it just really helps me that thing take a walk for people or find a place or you can go and sit and talk to them and give yourself that time and sometimes I can go up there for five or 10 minutes and that's enough sometimes I go up and sit up there for about an hour yeah and that really helps so debby I hope some of these things help and if anyone else has any suggestions on things to do when you're going through tough times like this Like the loss of a parent is...

It's as big as it gets, right? He's really tough. Yeah. And I'm always happy to talk about grief because it's something, sadly, we will all go through. If there's anything people can suggest for Debbie, do let us know, get in touch. If you're loving Digit, make sure you hit the follow on Apple or Spotify. It means that you'll never miss an episode and they'll download to your phone as soon as they're out.

We've got a voice note from Dai. Hi, Joe and Zoe. This is Di Miles from Somerset. looking for some advice. I'm about to retire after working as a midwife in the NHS for 41 years. I've had a fantastic career and I've loved my job and I know that on that last day I'm going to feel very emotional. So what I want to know is what is the best way to leave? Do you hug everyone or just wave, blow some kisses and run? Some advice from you and your lovely listeners would be really appreciated.

Thanks. Bye. Oh, Di, 41 years as a midwife. Can you imagine the amount of babies, Dai, has seen into the world? What an amazing lady. Oh, well, Joe, I mean, what would you suggest? I personally would say, die, you've probably got a lot of friends there, and you've probably known them for a long time.

So I would definitely have a celebration. I think whether that's a party or everyone goes to a pub, or you go somewhere and everyone can buy your drink or I think you should be celebrated, Di. I think my natural inclination would be probably not even to show up on that last day because I couldn't face the fuss being made and the emotion of that situation. Don't you think? I just because I know that I would be incredibly weepy and I bet Di, probably you will be as well. And so the natural inclination is let's not confront this. Let's not deal with this. Let's just run away and pretend it's not happening. But die, you can't actually let that.

happen. So I think Zoe goes back to your mum and putting on those steel pants, which I've thought about so many times since you've shared that with us. It's about going, all right, I'm going to have a massive cry in the morning when I wake up and I'm going to accept that everybody here loves me. They've loved me for many years. They want to celebrate everything I've brought to this, you know, this place of work and you just have to face it head on. And actually, it's okay to cry throughout the day and just feel the love and kind of accept what's going on. So, yeah, I think it's fighting that natural inclination just not to not deal with it, but just let everybody celebrate you and love you and say thank you for everything that you've done.

I think the after is the really difficult bit because then you've got to go home and just take it all on board. And I imagine people will give you cards and little gifts and they will mean a lot. And you might need to leave them somewhere for a couple of weeks. And then you'll have the chance to read them. Having got, you know, it's not the same as working at the NHS. as a midwife for 41 years, but when I left a job last year, it was really emotional. I really held it together and then right in the last minute, I had a big old cry.

And everyone had given me such lovely cards and gifts, you know, listeners, my friends I worked with. And I found it really hard to read those until a lot longer afterwards. And then I read them and then they meant even more because you've got to kind of come down from so much. And your life's, you know, that's a huge change, die. But from Joe and I and our whole team, Bravo to you. And congratulations. And what are you going to do?

What are you going to do now, Die? I listened to you doing your last show. And it was when they brought Woody on, wasn't it? That you cracked. That's when it got me. You were amazing. Up until that point, I was just thinking how fantastic you were being, just holding it together and being very, very professional.

Because that was obviously the way of dealing with the emotion of the whole situation as well. But then it was nice to hear the human side. Oh, I feel a lot of love for Down. that's quite a moment for her. Oh, God, don't set me off. I kept my card off when it was my 60th birthday and all my friends, they all wrote in a massive, massive card and I didn't read that for about two weeks, exactly like you.

I just, I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle the emotion. And also I was looking forward to sitting down when there was nothing else going on and there was no one else around me and I could just really take it all in. And it was lovely. I'd got quite a few cards left over as well and I just had this kind of little ceremonial evening or Sunday evening of just going, right, I'm just going to sit down, and take all this in and really enjoy it. And it was nice. It was a really good thing to do.

Well, good luck, Di. Let us know how you get on. We're going to take a quick break now for some ads. Don't forget if you're enjoying the podcast, you can become a subscriber to the potting shed. You will get longer episodes, bonus content and access to our members chat room where we can share tips. And early access to live shows. But most importantly, you will be supporting the show. So to subscribe, just go to dig itpod.co.uk or tap the link in the show notes. This episode is brought to you by Airbnb.

Joe, what are your holiday non-negotiables? Okay, not that I'm fussy, but it has to be a nice bed, a big TV and a comfy sofa to watch it from. An Airbnb would be ideal. I stayed in an Airbnb once in Colorado. It was a tree house. A actual house built in a tree. Honestly, it was like being in a film. I was so grateful to my host for such an amazing scenic experience, as well. as a seriously comfy, lovely home. Oh my God, you would make a great Airbnb host. Everybody says that you're incredibly thoughtful and generous. I've actually got a friend who hosts her place while she's away.

Just every now and then, when it suits her and she really loves the flexibility. I've never thought about hosting before. I guess you can start small and see how it feels. Doesn't have to be a big thing. Exactly. And it might help top up the holiday fund for your own treehouse getaway. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.com.uk. This episode of Digit is sponsored by 8 Sleep. Hot flashes can be a nightmare during menopause. Absolutely, waking up at a sweat at 3am, duvet on, duvet off, window open, freezing by dawn. It's exhausting.

The pod five from 8 Sleep aims to save you from all of that. That's the temperature regulating mattress cover, right? Yes, it has a hot flash mode. It cools you before the hot flash even wakes you. Really? And one side can change temperature and not affect the other side, so no complaints from the other half. That's so clever. It tracks all your sleep stats, even your heart rate, without wearing anything.

And there's a mode where you just tap the bed to cool instantly. I love that. So you fall to sleep faster, you stay asleep longer, and you get that golden extra hour. Head to 8Sleep.com slash dig it. Use code dig it and get up to £350 off the Pod 5 Ultra. That's code dig it for up to £350 off the Pod 5 Ultra. If you're tired of being tired, sleep better with eight sleep. We've got some of your messages from the last few episodes.

On teeth, because we were talking about teeth, dairy's been in touch. I have kept both my children's baby teeth plus the puppies all in a box, now not sure who's is whose. My daughter finds it hilarious that I kept the dogs too. I'm imagining they would be pretty different, wouldn't they? sharp, surely, examined them closely. Derry, brilliant. Dogs' teeth were much sharper and finer, but maybe not.

I don't know. Yeah. And we've also got a voice about from Bernie. I have a little story for you that I think might be able to top Zoe's one about getting stung by the jellyfish in Ibiza. I too, and like you both have recently come back from Ibiza. Our son lives out there and we were over there for our granddaughter's first birthday, which was lovely. I also, like you, Joe, love my running and I run every day. It keeps me sane. However, I was running recently when I was in Ibiza and as you do at a certain age, that's over 60,

I needed to stop for a quick wee. So I was down a dirt track and I pulled in by the side of the track into some bushes and pulled down my running shorts and all of a sudden, I get this swarm of bees or wops. I don't know what they were. And one stung me on the bottom. And then as I went to brush that one away, and the next one stung me on my arm. And so I think a lesson was learnt there

and make sure that you go to the toilet before you go out running. Bernie, what a nightmare. Oh, my Lord. I love a feral wee, me. And I often just don't plan and have to have a feral wee. And Bernie, your words have, you know, I will remember those because there's all sorts that can get you when you load to the ground. Oh my God, I was not expecting that.

I was like, stinging nettle possibly, maybe some ants, but not a bee or what? How, can you imagine in your undercarriage? That's going to hurt, isn't it, a lot? Oh, my God. I don't like a feral wee. You don't like a feral wee? No, India, my eldest, gorgeous daughter, is she's very feral and also has no. control over her bladder. I'm quite proud of my control of my bladder at my age compared to hers. And she's

always like, we're running and she'd be like, hang on a minute, she's going to get behind a bush. And I'm always ever so slightly disgusted by it. I was like, India, but she's very liberated. Think of all the animals that we in the bushes, you know, it's all liquid, it's going back in. But it's obviously the way we're brought up. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm with India. And my parents would never do that. I love a furrowee. It's like, especially if we go on a walk, it's, I can never last that long in between places. So feral whee's all around. In fact, we went to a pub last weekend and even walking back to the car, I thought, I should have gone in the pub, I should have gone in the pub and I went to do a feral whee and everyone in the car was absolutely disgusted. But then people

came from everywhere and I had to pull my trance. Swatch. And then it took ages to get home. So I'd done half a feral wee and it was a disaster. Oh no. But also Bernie saying, oh, I should have gone before I did my run. Bunny, you'll know what it's like. You go before you run and then you start running and instantly you're like, oh no, I need to go. I need to wee again. And the number of runs I've done when all I can think about is weeing. All I can think about looking for a pub that I can go to or somewhere. It's obviously in your brain and it's psychological. So yeah, feral whee's are fine. I just wish I could do them more easily. Yes. And be careful where you crouch. So you're not ever so slightly concerned that you might be seen when you're weing. Oh no. I'd much rather get it out

and get it sorted. You know, it's like, it's all right for men. Men can just perch by in a tree or, you know, and it's, no one can see anything. As a woman, you've got to lower yourself and, but I am not embarrassed by things like that. No. The rest of my family are mortified, but I am known to all my friends. It's like, oh, she's doing a wild way. She's in for all right.

Off she goes. Yeah. When you've got to go, you've got to go. True. If you've been caught short and caught out, a bit like Bernie, or, you know, had a bit of a whoopsy whilst trying to take a feral wee, do share your stories. Or perhaps even the strangest place you've had to take a feral wee. And how has that gone for you?

Do share, we would love to hear from you. I don't think I'm alone in this. Bernie and I, I don't think so. You're definitely not alone. This is just brought back something for me. I remember my, I used to say it, my grandma and granddad's a lot when I was a kid. And they lived in a big, dark house. And the toilet was miles away.

And my grandma always used to keep a potty under the bed. And so quite often I'd wake up in the night. And she'd be there doing a wee on the potty. And I would as well. It was just something you did because the toilet was so far away. And it was cold and it was really, really dark. And that was it. It was just every night.

She'd go to bed, put a potty under the bed. And then everyone would use it as they needed to. But that's what people had to do, wasn't it? Because the loo, the loo was outside. You know, and you didn't want to go outside in the middle of the night. So people had those bowls, didn't they? Exactly. And there was a jug.

Because I bought loads of them to stick flowers in around. You know, I used to buy those all the time. And then someone was like, you know, that was for washing or weeing. Yeah. Really? And they went under the bed. There you go.

What were they called? They had chamber pot. That's it. We had a chamber pot under the bed. That's it. Or isn't a chamber pot the one you can slide under your bum? We've gone off peace. We've definitely gone off piece.

Yeah. Another email from Eliza. She says years ago when I was renting with two flatmates, my bedroom was right next to the bathroom. One night, I was woken up by my drunk ex-houseman. brushing his teeth with an electric toothbrush. The thing is, I was the only person in the house who owned an electric toothbrush. So I lay there, furious, not just at the thought of him using mine, but wondering how many other times he'd secretly used it without me knowing. Anyway, it got me thinking, do either of you have any house share horror stories from your renting days? Oh, how terribly rude. It's hard sharing a house, isn't it, with people?

God, it is, isn't it? I used to live in a pub. I lived above a pub, rather. And it was really eventful. I mean, it was like living in the Queen Vic or above the Queen Vic in EastEnders. There was one time when I was in bed and all of a sudden these policemen came running into the room. Just literally like shouting, don't nobody move, like a raid, a proper raid. And there'd obviously been some accusation of something going on in the pub.

And I was just lying there on a Sunday morning going, oh, my God, what are these policemen doing in our room? So that was a bit scary, but that was... That sounds terrifying. I know, it was really scary. And then another time I got food poisoning. And I remember, I mean, I was really, really ill and I went to the doctors and they told me to take a little sample, as we're being feral, a little sample to the local town hall where you had to hand it in. I remember I didn't have very much money at the time. I used to, in the mornings, go around the pub and I used to pick up pennies so that I could have enough money for my bus fare.

I got a bus with a sample of my poo. in a pot. And I went to Islington Town Hall and I handed it in or wherever I had to hand it in, handed it in and then I had to wait for the results. And when the results came back, it said that I'd had salmonella food poisoning and was really properly poorly. And I remember the landlady of the pub coming over to me. Just like Peggy, Mitchell, just coming over and like, don't you ever tell anybody that you did this living in my pub? I was like, okay, I'm really sorry. I really won't ever again.

I got salmonella. But I think it was just, it was like we were living in this pub and we had our own kitchen and they were really lovely people. But the hygiene and it was nothing to do with the pub because this was our own private kitchen. And that's obviously where I got the food poisoning from. But it wasn't that the hygiene standard was not great. And I did end up very, very poorly. But I just, I will never forget the terror of having this landlager just look me in the eyes

and just going, don't you ever tell anybody you had salmonella? in my pub. She sounds like a character, doesn't she? She was amazing. I loved her. Yeah, I really, really loved her. And it was a great, great pub. I lived above a pub in Salford. And I don't think even exists anymore. I think it's been bulldozed down. There's stuff that used to go on in there was pretty spectacular as well. I remember everyone at work was like, you're living above a pub. And then someone took me in, was like, look, I've got a room in my house. Come and live in my house. But it was actually brilliant fun. And the rent was really cheap. And yeah. But yeah, it's not sustainable for too long. And I worked in a great Irish pub in Doolston. The landlady was called

Bridey and she was an absolute character and everybody who drank in there, they were, I loved working in that place though. The stories you would hear and the shenanigans and the characters. I was a very good Peggy Mitchell impression by the way. Thank you very much. I was quite impressed. Thank you. The thing with toothbrush is I always rinse my toothbrush before I use it because it's you know it's standing there in you know the other day so it always rinse toothbrush and that stories like that make me just like oh and if I stay in a hotel I always put my toothbrush away in case because I always think you know if you do something that pees off the person cleans your room what if they use your toothbrush to clean something in the room so I'll

always put my toothbrush away is that we is I was a chamber made for a while and I saw some weird stuff go down and I have always thought then be nice to the people who clean up after you because otherwise your toothbrush could be used for something else. Oh no I'm never going to say in a hotel now quite as easily as I have in the past if people do that kind of thing I didn't even thought about that. Do you know what they probably don't it's just me being a bit paranoid well high no because now there'll be people listening to this and they'll say yeah no I yeah I used to do that kind of thing I'm sure if you have tell us please do tell us that does that really go on the terrible things you have done to people's toothbrushes.

And I guess it extends to like waiting tables and working a kitchen or a restaurant or something like that. If a customer really really pisses you off, what do you do? People are gobbin in that burger. Oh, God. They are. I mean, I guess this just begs the question, doesn't it? What have you done for revenge? You know, have you

been that person? If a customer has been particularly irritating or really annoying, what have you done? Or you could extend it further. Best revenge stories, please. Can we have those? Thank you. Show notes. Have a look. That tells you. exactly how you get them to us. Send us a voice note. We'd love to hear from you. I remember a friend telling me about an ex and she had scratched one of his favorite records and so when he got

home it was just playing the sort of same two refrains of something of the record and then going round and rounder. I thought that was really evil. That's it for today's episode but if you want even more questions and answers, become a member of our gang of the potting shed and get longer episodes. See you on Wednesday. See on Wednesday. Digit is a Persephonica production.