Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball - DIG IN: “Heartbreak Takes YEARS to Heal”

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Jo and Zoe share teenage love woes and rules for life. We hear your feral weeing mishaps, wrapping paper pulled from ears   and revenge dishes served with pastry crust.  SUBSCRIBE TO OUR FREE SUBSTACK Stay up to date with Dig It — new updates every Friday straight to your inbox. 👉 https://digitpod.substack.com/subscribe GET IN TOUCH 📧 Email us: [e-mail] 📱 Text or Voice Note: 07477 038795 💬 Or tap here to send a voice note or message on WhatsApp:⁠ ⁠https://wa.me/447477038795⁠⁠ CREDITS Exec Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Assistant Producer: Eve Jones Technical Producers: Oliver Geraghty Video Editors: Connor Berry and Jack Whiteside Dig It is a Persephonica production

Coming up on Digit. I think my worst heartbreak took two years to get over. Oh my gosh, really. I've just got to say it's so good to see a celebrity who's actually really huge when she's pregnant. I used to like eating dog biscuits. Oh, here we go. No, what am I talking about? No, what are you talking about?

What am I talking about? All of that right after this. At Harrison Healthcare, we know that lasting health starts with personalized care. We're not just a clinic. we're your partner in prevention, helping you achieve your health and longevity goals. Our expert team combines evidence-based medicine with the compassionate, unhurried care

you and your family deserve today and for many years to come. When it comes to your health, you shouldn't settle for anything less than exceptional. Visit harrisonhealthcare.ca.ca. Oh, hello, good morning, Ms. Ball. How you doing? Well, hello, Ms. Wiley. I am mighty fine for a Monday morning, actually.

Is this Monday? It is Monday. Life is just so discombobulating all the time. I never know what day it is, what time of day is, or even who I am most of the time. I'm also really scared at the speed with which September is like hurtling by. Oh, God, I know. Where is the time going, stop, slow down. Thoughts of Christmas already. You said the C word. Sorry. No, do you know what? I do keep having those little moments of thinking, oh, yeah, maybe that would be a good plan for Christmas. We all start to think about it, don't we? family, wherever it's going to be, we're going to get time with the kids. Yeah, no, I've got my first Christmas present over the weekend. Oh. And that's very, very unlike me. You know, you just see something you're right. Oh, maybe that would work. Are you one of those who is that organized with Christmas planning?

I want to be one of those. And actually, I'm going to be one of those. I'm just going to say it here. All right. So I'm going to make the commitment on Digit. I'm going to organize myself this Christmas. I'm going to buy all the presents early. I'm going to wrap them before Christmas Eve.

And I am going to be the person I've always aspired to be. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, if you're going to do that, I'm going to do a Christmas card early because this is my thing. Like, we've always done a picture of the kids or we'd be in it. But now it's mainly the kids because they look great. And each year they're like, oh, God, mom, seriously, where you've got to try and put a stocking on the head or dress them as reindeer or just make them be in a photograph together. And each year they become more and more reluctant to want to do that. and inside it always says

what does it say a very nelly Christmas and a happy woo year or something like something daff like that but they're dragged into it every year but of course the last couple of years I've not done it but Norm's done one so I just borrow these

because I've never got around to doing a picture with them both in the same place at the same time in something remotely festive stand in front of this tree what? Why? I love buying Christmas cards one of my favourite things don't you find now there are less and less Christmas cards

arriving at home and it makes me really sad. I know. I'm sure I'm going to be the last Christmas card writer in the planet. Because we'd always put them up along the wall. You know, they'd cover the stairs and all sorts. And now it's sort of like a port tree few. So Mondays are where we dig in and we get to listen to and talk to our diggers. So we've got a text message from Jay. I have to put my glasses on for this. I was wondering if you might be able to discuss and share any advice you have on supporting your teenage children through breakups. My 19 year old son has recently been left Devon. stated following the breakup of his first love and I felt his pain as if it were my own. Can either of you empathize? Oh gosh. Well, you have to go through the heartbreak, don't you? It's like

everyone has, and the first is often the worst. Oh, goodness me. Can you empathize? Have you ever gone through this with Wu or with Nelly? Yeah, Nell is sort of at the other end of all of this and only sort of starting to, you know, I've got to be careful what I say actually. I know. I know. this is really difficult. This is very hard for us to do talking about empathising because these are our children and they will not want us to discuss. Nell is definitely talking to someone, which is a stage of relationships these days. This is the stuff. And she is very happy at the moment, which is so lovely to see. And I will say no more than that, even though I'm desperate to talk to you about it, but I won't. So I will respect her privacy. But yeah, Woody has had a couple of real tough

breakups. I think it's difficult. When they're really happy and in love, it's so heartbreaking for you. It's almost worse when you know it's not the right relationship. You know, so you've got two different breakup scenarios going on there. And one, I was quite relieved when it eventually happened because I knew he wasn't very happy and I don't think the last was very happy and they were, it was pretty tough for both of them. But then when you see them when their hearts really hurt, Woody feels things on a very deep level that boy. He's a real empath and he hates breaking someone's heart and he hates hurting anyone, whether it's his partner or his friends or his family. If someone else is going through a breakup, he feels it really deeply as well.

Oh, God. It's really hard. And when you are the person doing the breaking up and you have to be incredibly strong in terms of my kids rather me, I really admire the bravery and the strength a couple of my kids when they've gone through the breakup situation, they've done it themselves. And it's so painful for them and the grief that they feel, because it is a kind of grief when you break up with someone. If you really love them, but you know it's not right, then you just have to, you know you're breaking someone's heart, but you're doing it for the good. You're doing it for the long game. You're doing it for the good of them because it won't work out in the end. So it's better to curtail it now rather than further down the line when, you know, there is

more hurt on the line. It's really, really hard to see your kids going through that. But also at the same time I really admire the children when they've done that and all you can do like you say is just be there to support them and if they want to talk about it to be able to talk about it as well it is it's so tough to see when you're when you're having your heart broken it really is a physical thing doesn't it it feels like your heart is actually breaking the pain in your chest and that thing when you fall asleep and you feel so sad and you wake up and for a minute you might forget and then you feel so sad. And yeah, it's devastating and having the strength to let someone go and not try to fight for them to come back and all the other thing that you're always

inclined to do, which is, I'll change, I'll do this, I'll do that, you know, I'll be the person you need me to be when actually, if it's not right, it's, it's just not right. And it can, I mean, I think my worst heartbreak took two years to get over, maybe a little bit longer. Oh my God, really. Yeah. And the funny thing is, sometimes you never get over it. Yeah, when you look back, I think, you know, he didn't even like me. We were not at all suited, but it was a relationship I tried to leave. He begged me to stay. I stayed and then he met someone else.

It's like, you get. He's still with that person now. They've got a lovely family and she was definitely the right girl for him. But, oh, God, it took me so long to get over it. It was so tedious. But it is a relief, isn't it? When they find someone else, It's like, oh, okay, good.

They've moved on with their lives. And also in terms of your kids, you're like, well, this is a good thing. You're free now. You set them free and now you're free of the guilt and the burden that you feel. And it's actually as painful as it is. Oh, Jay, bless, I feel for you. They'll come around. Oh.

If you're loving Digit, make sure you hit the follow on Apple or Spotify. It means you'll never miss an episode. They'll download to your phone directly as soon as they're out. We've got an email from Donna. She says a friend of mine is putting together a Rules of Life book as a baby shower gift. What a lovely idea. Filled with wisdom from all her friends for her child to read one day. The question she's asked us all is, what's the one rule of life you live by that you wish you'd known sooner?

What would yours be? Okay. What a lovely thing to do? I know. Yeah. R1 comes from Bugsy Malone. And this is our family motto, which is you give a little love and it all comes back to you. And it's, I don't know, we used to always play that whenever we were with friends and family.

That would always be the last record that would go on. Down na, no, no, now. And everyone would do a big dance routine too. I don't know it, Zoe. Would you sing it for me? Don't. You know, I'm awful when I was saying. We could have been anything that we wanted to be.

Oh, I do know. Give a little love. and it all comes back to you, la la la la la la la la which is always great when everyone's had a drink. We were sending to music hall. At some point in the podcast we'll do a little music hall. No, la, no. Don't, honestly.

But I think it's such a great sentiment. You give a little love and it all comes back to you. It's like you give out what you want to get back in life. And yeah, so thank you to whoever wrote the lyrics to that song. I do actually know who wrote that. And I will remember, hopefully, by Wednesday's podcast. And then you can put it in our substack

because we have a brand new substack. Isn't that the best thing? Well done to our team for putting together a substack letter. So everything we forget when we're talking, then it will be in the substack, which is genius. And it's all the things we talk about.

It's anything we reference like books and records that we might talk about. It's, you know, actually when people have asked what we're wearing, where we've got our jumpers and things from, that goes on there because we get asked all sorts of questions. So yeah,

you can get our substack and we'll tell you how at the end of the podcast. Okay, so life rules, what would you be putting into that book? Mine would be. So we've got disco has a motto, so Disco Steve has a motto, which is great. And we've used that throughout our lives. And that is live the life you love, love the life you live. So just basically, you know, it sees the day, it's enjoy everything that you do and just squeeze as much joy as you can out of life.

But the thing that he said to me ages ago, because I'm a terrible procrastinator, and the things scare me and I will always put them off and Steve was like have you heard the saying and it comes from a Mark Twain bit of writing and it's eat the big frog I think Mark Twain said eat two frogs and always eat the big one first and it's if anything is scaring you or if there's something you just really don't want to do and it just looms over you I've constantly have that feeling of something looming over me I'm like oh god I really really don't want to do that and I will put it off but the best thing to do is to get up in the morning and Eat that massive great big frog. Do it. The first thing you do is tackle that problem, tackle that issue. Send that email, have that phone conversation. Just deal with it. And you feel unbelievable afterwards. You feel so liberated. Do you know what? Weirdly, I this morning was reading nine great things I've learned by Jim Carrey, the actor. Oh, I read that. I read that. And that's one of the things he says. He doesn't say eat the big frog. Nothing is brilliant as, he doesn't quote Mark Twain. But that's one of his rules.

Do the thing that you are dreading. Just get it done. I've got the Mark Twain quote here. If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, then it's best to eat the biggest one first. So that came from Mark Twain. But I also saw the Jim Carrey thing and I screenshotted quite a few of the things that he said. It was really wise.

There were some really good things there. I think we covered that quite well. It was good, though. Yeah, it really got us talking as a family. I was sitting around. And I was like, well, what, you know, what is it? And the biggest one that all the kids said was be kind. They're all like, just be kind.

Be kind to people. People will be kind back to you. Yeah. And I was really happy that that was their go-to. That was their one thing. Thank you, by the way, for all your comments on all the subjects we've talked about. So many of you, I'm thrilled to say, are feral weas, just like me. And Susie has been in touch.

So I went to Margate for the weekend with a new guy that I was dating. Post-divorce, I was. 49, got very excited, took him to this crazy bar, got stuck into the frozen margaritas, left there to then walk up to my favourite club. Anyway, on the way there, desperate for a wee, decided to squat between two parked cars and as I pulled up my jeans, I literally went flat on my face, head dived, the pavement, ended up with a massive egg on my forehead, grazes all across, my nose, looked in absolute state. My boyfriend at the time was watching all of this happening in slow motion, didn't catch me. So yeah, not a great end of the night, as you can imagine.

The next day, I was absolutely dying of a hangover and concussion. So I won't be doing that again in a hurry. Oh, my Lord. Let that be a warning to all feral weas. If you are going to feral we, do not do it after a vat of frozen margaritas on a weekend in Margate. I'm so sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but that is funny, Susie, although it sounds very painful. I need to apologise at this point, because obviously we talk about our families and we reveal quite a lot. And I probably shouldn't have revealed that India is a feral weir, because she hadn't had time to listen to the podcast. All she got was a barrage of all her friends getting in touch, going, oh, I hear about you and the feral weeing and et cetera, et cetera. And she was like, Mom, could you please say some more nicer, positive things about me about how talented and beautiful I am?

So she's obviously an extraordinarily talented and beautiful photographer and partial to the odd feral weep. But maybe I disclose too much at that point. It is quite a thick. We're really learning this, aren't we? Yeah, very much so. Our kids sort of here second hand. And it's funny how sometimes Woody will send me a message going, yeah, your podcast beat Joe Rogan in the ratings or something or other. I mean, I think that was just, you know, in Sussex.

And it'll be really positive. And then Nell is saying, Mom, do you really have to tell them? that story about me. Yeah, so bless our families for being so patient. We've got another message on the subject of feral weeing. So shall I read this one out? I'll put my glasses on again for it. This is a really good comment we saw from Alexis. I was walking the North Down Way with a friend desperate for a wee. So did they necessary. Unfortunately, my worst menopause symptoms, really sore knees made it almost impossible to stand up again, along with my friends at non-stop giggles. I had to sit down, roll over with my knickers around my ankles to get.

up again. Oh, sore knees. There's so many bits of our body that let us down at crucial moments, aren't there? Oh, it just makes me laugh so much, though. I can imagine that. You're effectively rolling back in what you've just left in the grass. Oh, that is so good. Yeah, it's all knees and hips, isn't it? On revenge, which we discussed last week, Wendy sent us the text, a revenge story. I once made a pie for my ex-husband using dog food. A tin of pedigree cheese. A tin of pedigree chum, beef and gravy. I remember it well and I watched him eat it. I still look back and laugh. Oh my God. That's terrible. How dastardly and brilliant. Yes. What a great feeling of satisfaction that would have been. Oh my lord. You have no idea what

you're eating. Oh, gross. I used to like eating dog biscuits. Oh, here we go. I just quite like eating dog biscuits. I never ate dog food. But you know what? I guess you should be, you know, if you're feeding it to your dog, shouldn't you be willing to eat it yourself? No, what am I talking about? No, what are you talking about? What am I talking about? We give our dogs, I think it's butter, bollocks, I never remember the title. Buttered bollocks, you give your dog with bollocks. Butternut box dog food, which is all, I mean, really, really, you know, amazing titles for what the food is and It's all delicious ingredients. It smells really bad.

Honestly, I think you probably could actually eat it and serve it up to people. It's very specialist and they absolutely love it. But, God, it smells. It's quite challenging on the nose. Finally, we have a voice note from Mel. Hi, Mel. Hello, Joe and Zoe. My name's Mel, and I thought I'd share my story about weird things going in weird places.

My daughter Rose, who's now a teenager, but when she was four years old, just before Christmas told me she'd put some wrapping paper, some Christmas wrapping paper in her ear. We took her to the GP who had a look in and they couldn't find anything. About two years later, we went to see an ear-nose-nose-and-throat doctor about something unrelated, who had a quick peek in her ears and found some bright red wrapping paper, which had been from the Christmas two years previous. And then the other ear, some gravel. There you go, weird things that get put in kids' ears.

Oh, vindication that she hadn't made it up. I would have felt actually quite happy about that, right? That's incredible. What had it been doing in there all that time just being sort of surrounded by wax? Oh. She must have been so deaf. God. And I am quite obsessed with watching the videos of an ear doctor who puts this sort of weird gadget on people's ears and then they sort of, you know, clean out.

I mean, I am such a monkey. I really am a beast that I quite like pulling people's hairs out, squeezing people's spots. So I love watching this ear doctor. Yeah, it's great. I think it's on Instagram somewhere and you see all the weird stuff that comes out of people's ears. I mean, it's gross and disgusting, but I quite, I love that stuff. So we're used to Dr. Pimple Popper, but this is Dr. Ear. Yeah, I don't know what she's called. Actual videos of extracting stuff from ears. And then she does it in all different ways. There's a machine that washes them out, I guess, sort of like modern syringing, but there's sometimes she puts a string in and some wax and then pulls it out.

Oh, it's disgusting, but I love it. I once had my sinuses washed out, that is something you never want to have. And you'd never want to inflict it on your child. Oh, my God, it was the worst thing in the world. Is that when it has to go, frish up, and then it comes out? Up and then out. Yeah. And it's just, you can imagine what comes out.

Because you go there because you're incredibly blocked up with all this mucus. And, oh, it's, honestly, it's the worst thing in the world. I was about 14. I remember going with my mum, and they stick stuff up your nose. And you sit there for ages and you feel quite good for a while. and then all of a sudden all this gunk just comes out. Oh, gross. It was the worst medical procedure I've ever had in my life.

Gosh, I know, and we must have had some uncomfortable medical procedures as women. Yeah, that's the worst. That's the worst one. This episode of Digit is sponsored by eight sleep. Lately, I've really come to appreciate the wonder of a good night's sleep. God, I wish I was like you. I am such an incredibly light sleeper. One dog barking and I'm wide awake for the rest of the night.

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of the Pod 5 Ultra. That's code digit for up to 350 pounds off the Pod 5 Ultra. If you're tired of being tired, sleep better with 8 Sleep. This episode is brought to you by Airbnb. You've been running around a lot lately, haven't you? Because it's that time of year. Oh, it sure is. Collecting, dropping off the kids, work deadlines, barely enough time to do the laundry.

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So basically, you can make hosting work even when life gets a bit full on. Yes. And if that sounds like a win to you, find a co-host at Airbnb.com.org. Slash host. Okay, let's go back to some of the questions that we've had from you lot. I've got a voice note from Charlotte now. Hello, Joe and Zoe. I love your podcast.

And I have a question about maternityware. I'm expecting my first child at the age of 43, America. I'm walking on air. And I would like to know if you have recommendations for maternityware, please. I was interested by your recent recommendations for clothing, some shops on Brighton from Zoe and a great site recommended by Joe. But now I'd really like some recommendations for maternity wear that actually fits nicely and that isn't too expensive. Thank you very much. Oh, Charlotte, congratulations, darling.

That sounds like that's been quite a journey for you probably to get to this point. And just hearing her stage she's walking out, honestly, it makes me want to cry my eyes out. How lovely. Yeah. That's the age I was when I had Coco. I was 43 when I had cocoa. And I know how amazing that feeling is. It's just so special.

So, so, so special. So Charlotte, I'm thrilled for you. Really, really happy for you. Well, I'm a bit out of the loop because it's been a while since Nell's going to be 15. So I remember, and I don't know if they still do, H&M did great maternity wear back in the day because I used to get jeans from H&M because they had the sort of the bit at the top of the jeans. but then I got so big with my kids that nothing really fitted me, not even maternity wear,

because I put on four stone with both my kids and did it really differently. One I ate really healthily, one I totally didn't eat healthily and I still put on four stones. So I don't know. See, I would just wear comfy, big track suit bottoms and things like that and slip on shoes. When I was pregnant with my kids, it was all about wearing skinny jeans and then having the elasticated bit at the front so that you still look skinny but you had a bump. Whereas now, you know, the likes of Billy Eilish and this whole generation of kids are just into really baggy, comfortable clothes. So I think the World's Your Oyster, there are so many different clothes out there that you can wear.

I know, but we can ask our diggers if you are pregnant or you've recently had a baby and you can suggest any good sites for Charlotte, for buying, you know, really good comfortable things where you can still feel like you're dressing like yourself when you're pregnant. Also, I love that thing when people really show off their bumps. You know, it's so lovely. I know. It's just like, oh, it's so wonderful. It's difficult though, isn't it? Because you can't. I see people who are pregnant.

I'm like, oh, I'm so happy for you. But I had an instant once where I said to a friend, I was like, and this is Catherine and she's having a baby. And Catherine was not having a baby. And ever since that point, I had the wrong Catherine. And ever since then, unless someone tells me, I'm too scared to say anything, but God forbid, I've got it wrong and I've done another, Catherine. We were at this wedding at the weekend and all the bridesmaids were wearing various different shades of red and pink and orange.

And India was one of the bridesmaids. She's my daughter. She's 30-something. And a guy went up to her and she got a similar dress on to another of the bridesmaids there. And a guy went up to India and he was like, oh my God, you're what, three, four days away from giving birth? I mean, India is not having a baby. He'd just seen her from the back and she looked a little bit like the other bridesmaid who was about to have a baby. Oh my God.

And India just turned around and was like, I don't think I'm about to have a baby. Do I look like I'm about to have a baby? She absolutely doesn't. She's like, her stomach is so flat. It was one of those classic faux pas. Of his face, he just blanched and was like, I am so sorry. Yeah, you see, this is the thing. You can't, you know, it's awful if you get it wrong.

Fiona, our resident new mum on the podcast, just had baby Phoebe. She has just let us know that Zara and H&M, pretty good for maternity wear, but her words, it's still pretty shit out there for maternity wear. So if anyone else has some suggestions, do get in touch. What did you wear when you were pregnant, Joe? I was just thinking back of all the photographs of me when I was heavily pregnant, and I'm just wearing like big rugby shirts. And I've always like big baggy T-shirts.

So that was all I wore. What about you? Did you have to adapt anything? I wore a lot of exercise trousers because they, you know, you could just get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And to put on four stone, I mean, I'm pretty tall anyway, to put on four stone. I was like a bus. And I remember someone actually coming up to me once in M&S saying, oh my God, I've just got to say, it's so good to see a celebrity who's actually really huge when she's pregnant.

And the thing was I totally understood what they were saying because, you know, sometimes it's that pressure to be tiny again. And I know there's lots of women who have received quite a hard time about either not losing their baby weight or losing their baby weight too soon or, you know, I don't know. And I think you just have to remember everyone carries differently and everyone's recovery is different. And I think women are under enough pressure. I thought it was right. I was like, yeah, I'm huge. I am literally like a bus. I used to sort of make beep, beep, beep,

sounds and stuff like that. But my friend M did a really lovely thing where she took pictures of me in the office at different stages when I was pregnant with Nell. So it's like a little flip book. And she just put it in a little book called Growing Nell. And it's so cute. Oh, that's so cute.

So, yeah, because I didn't like the way I looked, but I was growing the most beautiful girl. So, yeah, anyway. So, yeah, good luck with that. And anyone who's got any more maternity wear, tips do let us know. So that's it for today's episode. But if you want even more questions and some answers as well,

become a member of the Potting Shed and get longer episodes. And remember, if you have any questions or comments, we always love hearing from you. Details on how to subscribe to the Potting Shed are in the show notes. We will see you on Wednesday. That's it then, Zos. See you on Wednesday, darling. Have a good one.

Bye. Bye. Fonica production.