Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball - DIG IN: Why Is It So Hard to Find Friends Later in Life?

Episode Date: August 18, 2025

Jo and Zoe answer your questions on first-crush confessions, the minefield of baby names and finding friends later in life. Got a question? Details on how to contact the show below! GET IN TOUCH �� Email: [e-mail] 📱 Text or voice note: 07477 038795 💬 WhatsApp link: https://wa.me/447477038795 GET EARLY & AD-FREE EPISODES Become a member of The Potting Shed for early, ad-free episodes and bonus content → https://digit.supportingcast.fm/ SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS This episode is brought to you by Airbnb and Eight Sleep. 🌍 Airbnb — Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much: https://airbnb.co.uk/host  🛏 Eight Sleep — Meet the Pod 5 (and Pod Blanket): cool or warm each side, track sleep, and help reduce snoring. Up to £350 off with code DIGIT: https://eightsleep.com/digit  CREDITS Exec Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Assistant Producer: Eve Jones Technical Producers: Will Gibson & Oliver Geraghty Dig It is a Persephonica production.

Coming up on Digit. It is inevitable that you become your parents and that you become both of them. The one thing that he's doing is trying to take up golf. Disco Steve is taking up golf. I don't want somebody else choosing my child's name. No. That's my privilege. Is that where your barefoot thing came from, do you reckon?

But the feet are out now. She's always got her feet out. Sorry. All of that right after this. At Harrison Healthcare, we know that lasting health starts with personalized care. We're not just a clinic. We're your partner in prevention, helping you achieve your health and longevity goals. Our expert team combines evidence-based medicine with the compassionate, unhurried care you and your family deserve.

Today and for many years to come. When it comes to your health, you shouldn't settle for anything less than exceptional. Visit harrisonhealthcare.ca.ca.com. Hi, Joe. Hey! I hope we had a good weekend. I'm trialing doing this without wearing my glasses because I keep watching. them back and I'm like, I just haven't got used to myself in glasses yet. I don't know whether you

ever do. But I have to wear them all the time now. But I just, so I'm doing this. So you're a really lovely, like you're in soft focus. You're very, really blurry around the edges. It's the only way I should be seen always in soft focus. When people take photos and me, I'm like, just soften it up. What do they used to do? Put a stocking over the lens. Should we try that? We should try that. Stocking over our faces, maybe. Stop. You can go and rob some banks. And when you pull it up, makes your nose go up,

see if you can guess who's who. With their modern-day Thelma and Louise. So we've had some questions from our diggers. But first up, what are we going to call this episode on a Monday? We should make a mindset, really. We've had some suggestions. Cordelia has been in touch and she said your Monday episode should be called Digging in to the Big and the Small Questions.

I like that. Good. Loving the pod, keeping me company on my material. service with baby Ingrid. Oh, baby Ingrid. Hi Cordelia. Baby Ingrid. Cool names.

Yes. They are really cool names. Do you have a physical reaction in your body when you read about babies? Like I see babies. I get old babies occasionally. And I don't know whether it's something about the menopause and the end of your sort of, you know, reproductive system, so to speak. but I am so mad for babies at the moment. I really, I can't get enough.

I'm not anybody who wants me to babysit. I'm in there, please. I just, I miss the little ones because all mine are big. Yeah, the softness of the skin and the smell of babies. Like, babies up until about, think, three months are, I mean, edible, literally. Oh, yeah, although I quite like it when they're about, yeah, six to nine months and they get the juicy little wrists and thighs and, oh, I miss it. I do miss it. I know.

But I've got friends with babies and it's quite nice when you can help out. And there's no stress when the kids aren't yours. You're like, oh, yeah, I'll do anything. And then you hand them back. I'm aching for that also. Yeah, really aching for it. And I think it's going to be a bit of a weight. I look at my kids, really's 25.

He's nowhere near having babies yet. Nell is only 15. So yes. Yes. So Auntie Zoe then for the foreseeable. Auntie Zoe. So digging in from Cordelia. Juliette from Barkham says

How about calling your Monday podcast Double Dig? Nice tie in with double digging when planting, of course, of course. So double dig from Juliette. Loads people liking your suggestion of Dig Deeper. So thanks to Hannah, Sophie with an F, it's important. Alison with One L and so many more of you for getting in touch.

So are we going for Dig Deeper? What do you think? What do you think? What do you want to go for? Digging in, double dig. Welcome to Monday's Diggin. That feels quite good. Yes.

I think let's go for Monday's dig in, shall we? Okay, let's go for Monday's dig in. Let's dig in on a Monday. If you're loving Digit and we hope you are, make sure you hit Follow on Apple or Spotify. It'll mean that you will never miss an episode. They'll all download to your phone as soon as they're out. Okay, we've got a voice note from Stephen.

We love hearing from you. So do get your questions into us. And he has a question for us right now. Hi, Zoe. Hi, Joe. I've got a question for you. guys, who was your first crush or your first love? I think my first crush, even though I didn't know it at the time, because I was at primary school, was Michael prayed as Robin of Sherwood.

Do you remember that? Yes. I remember me and my teacher, Miss Mayette. I used to take in my looking magazine on a Monday morning when I got it over the weekend. And I remember she'd like, oh, who's that? I was like, hmm, it's Robin Hood. think we sort of look at each other and then just not say anything about him. But yes, Michael prayed from Robin of Sherwood was mine. Loads of love from Stephen in Brighton. Oh, thank Stephen in Brighton. Joe, I remember the music. Remember it was Robin, the hooded man, but might even have been by Clannad, the theme tune. Yeah. He was hot. Cheekbones. Look at those cheekbones. He was very, very pretty, really good cheekbones. And you see a man like that and you know they're going to age well, right?

I know. And I think he did age well. I'm looking at that. picture thinking he looks like you know the 80s answer to Jacob allordie yeah um who obviously is a big hit now in saltburn he's going to be in the new uh Wuthering heights as heathcliff um but i think michael prayed went on to be in either dynasty or the colby's years later as the prince of moldova i mean this is quite niche very good knowledge but there'll be people out there going yes i remember and he did age very well um and it didn't Was it Jason Connery took over as Robin in the TV show? Did you used to watch it?

Not really, no. He had this hood and then he'd let it down and all the women would quiver and some of the men. Like Stephen and Brighton. Like Stephen in Brighton. So, Joe, first crush or first love or both. Okay, I've written a list. There's always a list. Once I started thinking about this, I was like, oh, oh yeah, and him and them and there.

Oh, yeah. The dad from Little House on the Prairie. I'm a little bit older than you, so I was obsessed with Little House on the Prairie, the Ingles family. And the dad, Charles Ingalls, that was his name. He had such, I've got my real sucker for eyes and he had really lovely eyes, dark curly hair. Michael Landon was his name. He's no longer with us anymore. But he was such a strong, resolute character and I really, really liked him.

So he was a crush. And then Starsky, Starsky and Hutch. I know a lot of people like David Sol. Is Starsky in the Cardigan or not in the Cardigan or they're Both in cardigans? No. Starsky did the cardigans best. Okay.

My very first crush was Woody from Bay City Rollers. And we used to have a Bay City Rollers fan club with me every Saturday morning. And we'd tie tart and scarves around our wrists. And we were all assigned a Bay City Roller. And my friend was really, really, she was kind of the glam pretty one in the group. And she automatically got Les McEwen, of course. And then I was given Woody. But I really loved Woody.

And I think it's got on to be like a real character. So Woody from the Bay City Roller. but the person I was absolutely in love with when I was at school was Julian Cope from Tearrop Explodes. What a beautiful man. Remembering him on Top of the Pops. I think he was in bare feet. Is that where your barefoot thing came from, do you reckon?

The early influence of Julian Cope. Yeah, I just copied Julian Cope. The feet are out now. She's always got her feet out. Sorry. And they're always very clean, actually. I have noticed. But it's funny you're saying that because now I'm thinking

I had a Bay City Roller's album and it had a pull out of all the members of the band. Yep. And Woody, I remember that name, Woody. And I wonder if that was the initial. Maybe. Yeah. Oh, my God, I hadn't even realised.

Because, you know, I love a lot of Woody's. Yeah, Woody Guthrie we love. I always loved Willie Adam films. There's a lot of Woody's in life who I've loved. But, yeah, maybe it was Woody. It was Woody from Toy Story. Should we go on to the next question? Because it does relate to this, doesn't it?

It does relate. An email from Jenny, who said, I'm expecting my first baby in six weeks. Good luck, Jenny. Which is exciting, but we have no idea what to call him or her. I've read a book of baby names cover to cover and disliked every single name. Even when my own one popped up, how hard was it for you to name your own children? And what's a good source for baby names? So, Woody.

There we go. Musicians, you love. Yeah. And Woody was named, well, he was still in my tummy. because we used to, I mean, we weren't mad, I promise. But we would pretend to talk to him in the back of the car. We were so excited about him arriving. And Woody Cook just seemed like,

that's such a great name, Woody Cook, Woody Cook, Woody Cook, would he cook? So we used to talk to him. And there was always this fear that if he turned out to be a girl, that I would give him back. Because I'd be like, no, I wanted this. Or he was going to be called Woodwina. And we occasionally call him Woodwina,

which obviously does not go down well. I love that. So he was named before. But Nelly, I loved the name Nelly. I once saw a little girl playing on the beach with her family, and she was much younger than all the other kids, and she had this long hair, and she was called Nellie,

and I remember thinking, she's a gorgeous little girl, and that's a gorgeous name. And Nellie tells the story in Wuthering Heights, which is one of my favorite books. Nellie is the maid who witnesses the whole story of Kathy and Heathcliff. And so it also was influenced from... So that's a good thing. if you've got heroes and heroines in books, novels, films you've loved,

musicians you've loved, write all of those down as well. For Nelly, we had a list in the back of a book, and we try different ones out. And it was like, Woody and Nelly worked quite nicely. But there were other names that Nellie was going to be called. None of which I can remember now. We wanted to call Woody Arthur initially, but Arthur Cook just didn't work. No, Woody Cook is an amazing name.

It really, really works. It's a great name. I've just had the thoughts. There was a Nelly and Little House. on the prairie. Talk about how everything's coming together this morning. All tying in. I mean, she was bad. She was horrible, but... Oh, yes. I remember the clip where they push her down the hill. Yes. They push her down the hill because she's such a nasty in the chair and they push her down the hill and she lands in the river. Yeah, I remember that. What about your kids,

Joe? Because your kids have great names. Yeah, I quite like the full name thing, the way it all flows and works together. So we've got India who's called India Eden. I just thought that that was a had a lovely ring to it, India or Eden. And I don't really know where it came from. I need to call it Eden. Also a good name. I think what a lovely thing is when you have your children. And it's one of the amazing gifts that you can give someone, isn't it?

It's an incredible thing that you can bestow this name upon somebody. And then you watch them grow up and they become the name. So she is very much in India and she stands out. And India Eden's got a good ring to it. Jude, I guess Jude Law was around at the time. And also Jude the obscure were two names that were in my head. And he's called Jude Blue. I actually wanted to call him blue, but that was vetoed.

But disco would not go for that. So it's Jude Blue. He actually would have quite liked to have been called Blue, I think. But so he's Jude Blue. Cass, there was a really cool guy. There were two cool guys in bands. One is Cass from Skunkanasi, and he is the epitome of cool. I had them in session recently.

And I saw Cass after like 30 years, having never seen him before. And he rolled up, roared up to Made Avale on this bike, this amazing motorbike. And he got off and he was just like, so. cool and I looked at him, I went, I named my son after you, and I'm so glad I did. And I took a photograph of him, and I showed it to my cast and he went, ah, makes sense. That's good. He is a gorgeous man, Cass. He is a really cool man. Yeah, he is. Special one. There's a guy called Cass from censor things as well. So that name was in my head. And then Coco, she's called Cocoa Lux. And again, I just thought it's got a nice ring to

it. And I remember when I had her, the papers were going, oh, double-barreled name, Cocoa Lux. how ridiculous. And it's not double-barreled at all. I just thought I really liked it. And Lux interiors was from the cramps, I think, so I had that in my head. Oh, you see great names there. And it's Coco Lux Francesca, because I wanted to name her for my sister. And my sister's called Francis.

And I was, oh, I've always been jealous that I wasn't called Francis. I was just called Joanne. Yeah, it's not as glamorous, is it, Joanne? No, Francis is so distinguished and cool. It's such a cool name. I wish I was called Francis. But anyway, it's Cocoa Lux, Francesca, as a nod to Francis there. So that's how we named them.

So it's kind of delving into family's history, I think, and then also thinking of cool people that you know and love. Like you said, in music and in films. Yeah, it's quite good because Nelly was also one of Norm's aunts, who's not really an aunt, but a distant relative. And we called her Nellie Mae because May was his mom and his sister's middle name. And the only one who calls her Nelly Mae is my dad. It's really cute.

My dad's always like, Nelly Mae. Nellie Mae. And I think she quite likes that. And then Woody is Woody Fred. Woody Fred didn't he's named after. Both our granddad's. And, you know, I often call him Woofred amongst the other things that I call my son. But we've discussed that before.

Yeah. So Jenny, I hope this has given you some ideas. Any other suggestions on great ways that Jenny can find names? Because I think the baby books, yeah, sometimes the naming books, is just not inspiring enough. There's a website that you can go to when people are now, will name or a company. They will name your child for you. So they'll get to know you.

And they will suggest names that you could call your child. I don't want somebody else choosing my child's name. No. That's my privilege. That is what I'm going to do. I'm going to bestow that name upon my children. So no, no third parties. It's for you to do with your partner.

There you go. And also, Jenny, sometimes you have a name ready. And then little Baba comes and you look and think, no, you're not that name. I think this happened with my brother, Dan. He was obviously named Daniel. But when he was first born, the name they wanted to give him, didn't suit him when his little face was there. So I don't think he had a name. for a while. I may have made that up, actually. I'll get the family or be ongoing. What are you

talking about? We called Cass Joel. And he was called Joel for the first 24 hours. And I've got cards saying, happy, congratulations. Welcome to the word Joel. And we just looked to him and we were like, no, no, he's definitely Cass. What were you thinking? It doesn't work. We're also about to have a pod baby. Fiona, one of our brilliant team is overdue. She overdue, she overdue you any time now. And every time we all clock in, we're like, any sign? Any sign? So, yes, Fee, we're thinking of you. Yeah, no, really exciting. I think maybe we could, maybe we can name the baby, maybe collectively. Like, Diggett can make. Yes. I think Diggett needs a feature in her name or his name somehow. Yes. I mean, yeah, if you take your job seriously, Fee, then there must be a nod to our pod somewhere.

Yeah, forgive me. wishing her safe and happy landings, actually. Jenny, good luck. And do get in touch in six, seven, eight weeks. I mean, it might take you a while because you're quite busy. in the early days. But do get back to us and let us know because we'd love to know. Yeah, a couple of pod babies. I love it. It's a family. It's a family, isn't it? It is a family. We're going to take a quick break for some ads. Don't forget if you're enjoying the podcast, you can become a subscriber to the potting shed. You'll get longer episodes, bonus content and access to our members chat room where we can share tips. And when we eventually do live shows, you get early access to tickets. But most importantly, you'll be supporting the show. To subscribe, head to

digitpod.com.uk or tap the link in the show notes. This episode is brought to you by Airbnb. Two things you need to know about me. I love a holiday and I love to spend time picking out the perfect place to stay. You've travelled quite a lot. What do you usually look for when you're booking for someone? I need tips here. Looking for comfort, a bit of home from home, but also personality and location.

So, for example, I used Airbnb and stayed in a place in Colorado that was a tree house. It was magnificent. Well, like an actual tree house. Yeah, this fantastic man who owned it had built it across the years and had this beautiful staircase. Everything built onto the tree, everything made of wood. A lot of stuff had been kind of reused. I had this fantastic bathtub, had these fabulous balconies. Yeah, it was a really special place. Oh my God, it sounds incredible. You know, I've actually got friends who've hosted their own places on Airbnb while they're away. So whether they're on tour or they're off visiting family, and it just makes sense, really. Yeah, exactly. If your home's just going to be sitting empty while you're off adventuring or you're away for a long time with work, I just think why not let someone else enjoy it?

Yeah, I mean, it's really flexible and also it can work to your schedule. You can choose to host when it suits you and pick up a bit of extra money along the way. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.combe.combe.com slash host. This episode of Digit is sponsored by 8 Sleep. So much sleep tech is built with men in mind and women are just expected to what adapt? Not with 8 sleep. Their pod 5 was actually designed with women's sleep needs in mind. 80% of women going through the menopause suffer with hot flashes.

This cools you down before a hot flash wakes you up. No pills, no fans, no waking up drenched, just real personalised working tech. It's a smart mattress cover. not a whole new mattress and it learns your sleep patterns to adjust temperature, track breathing and even respond to snoring. And you can get an eight sleep blanket now. It does the same temperature regulation just over your whole body. It's like a little miracle, especially if you share a bed. Your side stays cool, there stays warm. Everyone's a winner. Go to eightsleep.com slash dig it. Use code dig it and get up to 350 pounds off the Pod 5 Ultra.

8Sleep.com slash dig it. Use code dig it at checkout. And you get 30 nights to try it. If you're tired of being tired, sleep better with 8 sleep. We have another voice note and this is from Erica. Let's hear from Erica. Hi Zoe. Hi, Joe.

Just wanted to say thank you for making a podcast that I can relate to. My main reason for messaging, though, was your topic of girlfriend groups. I've never had a girl tribe or even a single best friend to confide in. I'm not a mum, so I've never had the school gate mum. experience and when I was part of a choir instead of friendship steepening the groups got more clicky. Just wondered if you had any tips on how to find friends later in life. Thanks a lot, Erica. Oh, bless you Erica. Yeah, because it's tough, isn't it? Girls can be tough when you're at school and stuff like that. It's, you know, and some, you know, a lot of my best friends have come much later in

life. You know, I say later in life, I've sort of known a group of them for about 30 years. We've just been celebrating that, but it felt like I met them late in life. Yeah, I would have suggested something like a choir. The point that you make about not meeting moms, you know, when you're at school, because that is the easiest option. If that is not your path, that is not what's happened to you, then it's really, really hard, really difficult. Yeah, I was always apparently an old mom. And my kids are like, oh, you're so old compared to all the other parents. Geriatric, I think, is the official term. Yeah, that is. And also because I was working, I didn't really do lots of the school stuff where you get to hang out with other moms.

and stuff like that. Yeah, so Erica, what would I suggest? What about volunteering? This is something a lot of friends of mine have done later in life. You know, some who've had jobs that are quite tough and just wanted to do something that was making a difference somewhere. And lots of my friends volunteer. And they've, you know, in food banks, some volunteer for charities or charities that have helped people they've loved. And they've met some really amazing people through doing that, Erica, so that could be a suggestion. I think when you're working together with people, that is a bonding experience

isn't it? And you don't have to worry about, as we've discussed before, those awkward conversations, if you're not confident, if you're quite shy, if you're actually working on a thing, you're helping somebody else, then you don't have to have all the kind of the pointless conversations because you're just concentrating on somebody else. So that's a brilliant idea,

really, really good idea. Yeah. I was going to suggest, you know, if you're sporting, obviously, there are running clubs, there are park runs to do, but if that's not your thing. It's about shared interest. It's doing something, looking something up and seeing whether is a club, whether it's going to a pottery cafe or an art club or something to do with crafts. Yeah, I wonder about book clubs. And, you know, I must apologize to all the lovely ladies who live down my road since I moved in have all been like, we do a book club, you're more than welcome

to come. And then there's always been something going on. And I keep thinking, actually, I really should go and join their book club because it would be lovely to get to know some of my neighbours. They're all really friendly. So Erica, if you're into reading, maybe something like that. Also, if you, just check out some local things that are going on. Maybe there's a gardening club if you're into gardening. If anyone has suggestions for Erica on how she could make some lovely friends to hang out with, because there's probably people in your area, Erica, who are sort of going through a similar thing. You know, there's a lot of loneliness out there. There's an awful lot of loneliness. You'd be amazed at different ways that you might find someone. So, Erica, if we

get any tips, we'll let you know, and hopefully that's helpful there. Can I just expand on that a little bit? Because Disco, Steve, my husband, we've talked about loss before, but I mean, he's very careless with his friends. I think it's three key friends, maybe four key friends, died. And it was all in a very, very short space of time. You know, all the time we were like, oh, my God, not another one. Oh, no, another one's gone.

But genuinely, they were the four people who he spent all of his time with. So, you know, we'd go on holidays. He would go and see them every night of the week. They would hang out there and make each other laugh so much. And all of a sudden, his life is empty. I mean, he literally does not have those friends to be with anymore. And it's really hard. It's very, very difficult.

So it's been difficult for him to find people with the same interests who are the same kind of characters because he's very loud and very, you know, gregarious. But all of a sudden, he doesn't know where to meet those people. And this has been, God, what, four or five years now that he's been not actively looking for friends, but aware that he needs to have someone to make him laugh, someone to go out with, someone to do something with. And it's really difficult. We were discussing it this morning.

And I can't give you an answer. The one thing that he's doing is trying to take up golf. So he's having to make himself finding a new hobby. Disco, Steve is taking up golf. That's the thing. You have to really properly, what I'm saying is you really have to properly put yourself out of your comfort zone and actively look for places and people and where to go.

Because otherwise, your world is going to get smaller. And you are going to sit at home and you aren't going to have anybody to talk with or go to dinner with. So I've seen that in action. I've seen him going, right, my life's really empty now. What am I going to do? Yes. I'm going to go and I'm going to see if I can play golf. So it's challenging yourself, finding something that ordinarily you would never have done in a million years,

but actually giving it a go and hoping that something comes from it. It's so tough for him to lose, you know, his best boys. That is so tough. And I settled all that without crying, which is quite something. Yay. Oh, I know. And I know I knew one of those wonderful people, Willie. I knew him and he was, him and Steve was so tight.

Anyway, don't make me cry. Let's carry on. Let's move on something else. No, I won't cry. But will you promise us that when Disco Steve gets the full golfing get up? I will post-votes. I don't know if you have to wear pastel colours. But will you please share a picture of him in the outfit.

I promise I will. I know what we can send him. And discos D for Christmas. Yes. Right. We have another voice note. And this is from Tracy. Hi, Zoe.

And Joe, it's Tracy, originally from southeast of England now living in lovely Dunfreyston Galloway. I just wanted to pop on and say how much I'm absolutely loving dig it. I listen to the podcast when I go to bed at night. Don't take it personally. It just helps me drift off to sleep and it does give me a giggle. Thanks, Tracy. Just had a wee question for yourselves. I am a similar age to yourself.

Zoe, I grew up with you. Lots of TV shows going live, etc. I just wanted to know when is it that all of a sudden we became so fascinated and fell in love with gardening. I'm turning 54 this year. I live on a small holding with about three acres, sheep, dogs, cats, getting chickens soon. But I love growing my veggies and I love looking at all the different grasses and trees and bits and pieces surrounding myself. So when does that happen? When do you turn into your parents?

Zoe? It is inevitable that you become your parents and that you become both of them. I have traits from my mum and traits from my dad, some of which I'm proud of and some of which I'm like, oh, darn it, I got that one. And I look at my own kids and think the same thing. It sounds wonderful where you're living, Tracy. It really does sound quite beautiful. She's got the dream. She's got the sheep and she's getting chickens, Joe. Beautiful countryside. Oh, God, I couldn't be doing chickens. Gardening for you, when did that first happen? For me, it's always been there. I've talked about this before.

My granddad was into gardening, had a greenhouse, and I used to go and help him pick his tomatoes from the greenhouse. And I still remember to this day the smell and the feel of that situation. So I always had a fascination. And then my mum has always been into it. She ran a post office in a small shop. And she grew dahlias, and we used to go and pick them.

When I were in the school holidays, I'd go and pick them and she'd sell them outside. And that was really exciting. And I remember the Dalias in particular because they were just so outrageous. bombastic as a flower. And I was like, oh my gosh. And they had earwigs. I remember earwigs everywhere falling out of dahlias. But I really admired her like the gumption that she got to plant dahlias and then to sell them. And then I think it just happens as you get less busy. I'd certainly didn't do much gardening when the kids were tiny because there was no time. And I was, it was

just manic. I was doing, I was just surviving really for a very, very long time and also working. And then maybe it's just as things calm down and you have extra time on your hand. Not a lot of extra time and you get a garden and you kind of begin to take pride in it and yeah it's just grown it's just grown for me it really has and I don't have that much time now but I have got the fascination I also I think gardening it's on TV a lot more now isn't it and on social media so we're all that much more aware of it and urging each other on and everyone's talking about always gardening the new rock and roll is it cool and actually it is actually it is cool it's really cool yes it is when did you get into it well for me I so I lived by the sea for 20 years so it you know

not a lot, grew, we were right on the beach. And then I had a tiny little yard and it was, people bought plants for me, when, um, roses for me, when I lost Billy. And Billy had tattoos up his arm of, of roses. And when we lost him, like a lot of his loved ones went and got the rose tattoo for him. So people bought me roses to grow for him, which was such a lovely thing. And we've talked about, you know, planting for lost loved ones and how wonderful it is when these plants come to life and you know they're always with you so that was where it started um and i had this tiny little sort of little backyard with a few roses in and that was it then i was like i could have to move away from being really close to sea because i want a bit more space and i don't want the salt to

you know make everything perish um and then i went and then i went huge scale for like massive like way too big for me to cope with um and now i've gone downscale a little bit and I love that garden and it just became a place for me to take time at the end of the day and to be able to breathe in and out. And then you soon learn how wonderful a process it is to grow something yourself and tender and care for it, especially as your kids grow, get bigger and they don't need you to tender and care for them in quite the same way. You know, having that thing for yourself, you're breathing in and out, you're getting your hands in the earth, just realized how good it was for me and how much I loved it and how every day is a learning, you're just learning constantly.

And then you start being quite bold and taking big steps and thinking, hell yeah, I'm going to try and grow daily as, oh, the slugs have eaten them all. But it's just such a wonderful thing. And it's something that we all share. I love that there's a bit, I mean, our Digit community is a bit of a gardening community as well. Not all of, not everyone has gardens. But yeah, it's so good for you. It's so good for me. I remember also again, I mean, into it with India when she was little. And it was growing tomatoes and growing potatoes and going through that whole process. It was a really

exciting thing to do when your kids are tiny and something nice to do to show them that you can plant something tiny in the ground and then you can eat it a few weeks later and that whole process of digging up potatoes. I love it and I've done it with all the different kids and really enjoyed

it and still do it to this day. The other day we were eating the raspberries from the garden that were just really big and fat and juicy. Do you remember when we put these in? Look now. We can eat So that's rewarding, isn't it? During lockdown as well. Yeah, I think lockdown, everybody was like, right, what are we going to do?

We're going to grow something. And it's really encouraging and wonderful to see that lots of people who started gardening during COVID. I remember watching on Gardeners World and people were making their own videos of their gardens and they were planting on top of their bin shed or just trying to create a little something. And it was a really wonderful kind of community thing to do

during such a tough time. and that's when quite a few of my friends started growing stuff and now they're making me loads of dams and jam and stuff from the things they're growing in their garden yeah chutneys I'm getting a lot of chutneys from my friends growing from their very own corsets and pick a lily at Christmas

that's you know my brothers make a picolid with stuff grown from their garden and it's so great it's great gifts you see so there we go yes long way to continue hopefully that answers your question that's it for today's episode If you want to share out on any of the subjects that we've covered, we do love hearing from you to find out how to get in touch. Just checking the show notes.

And make sure you follow us on Apple or Spotify to make sure you get the episodes as soon as they come out. Well, guys, thank you so much for all your questions. Keep them coming in and we'll see you Wednesday. See you then. Bye. Digit is a Persephoneica production.