Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball - Q&A: Vernon’s Specs Appeal, Family Fallouts & Self-Acceptance

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

Jo and Zoe get real about the aging process and what it really feels like when your senses start to decline. They also open up family fallouts and health and safety gone mad. Plus, don’t miss their invaluable words of wisdom to the Digger embarking on a new, daunting chapter of her life. GET IN TOUCH📧 Email us: [e-mail]📱 Text or Voice Note: 07477 038795💬 Or tap here to send a voice note or message on WhatsApp:⁠ ⁠https://wa.me/447477038795📱Or send us a DM on Instagram @DigItPodSPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORSThis episode is brought to you by… 💙 Bupa – Search Bupa Family Health Insurance to get your quote. Pre-existing conditions not covered. Terms and conditions apply www.bupa.co.uk/health/health-insurance/family-health-insurance🍂 This episode is brought to you by White Stuff – Discover White Stuff's new autumn collection, inspired by getting outdoors, embracing your independent spirit and reconnecting with the world beyond our phones. Enjoy 15% off your order with code DIGIT15 off full price items online and in store until 31st Dec 2026. Head to www.whitestuff.com​​ to explore the collection and find out more about the Looking Up campaign.🥛 Arla B.O.B – Looking for an easy swap without compromising on taste? Arla B.O.B tastes just like semi-skimmed milk but with all the benefits of skimmed. It's perfect in your morning tea or coffee, and easy to spot in the supermarket with its distinctive yellow top. Give Arla B.O.B a try and see if you can taste the difference.💐 Bloom & Wild — Looking for a thoughtful gift? Bloom & Wild has so much more than beautiful flowers, with carefully curated hampers, candles, brownies and books for every occasion. Enjoy 15% off your order at bloomandwild.com with the code DIGIT15 at checkout. Care wildly with Bloom & Wild.📱Starling: the bank that helps you organise your money, build great habits and stay in control of your spending. Do life together with a joint account - find out more at starlingbank.com/current-account/joint-bank-account. T&Cs and eligibility apply for Joint, Personal and Easy Saver accounts. Individual Personal accounts are required. The U16s debit card is connected to a PCA or Joint Account.🌿 Ancient + Brave — Support your skin, joints, bones and overall wellbeing with Ancient + Brave's responsibly sourced collagen. Their Wild Collagen is neutral tasting, dissolves easily into your morning coffee and is designed for optimal absorption. Ancient + Brave is a certified B Corp, with marine collagen sourced from MSC-certified wild-caught fish. Head to ancientandbrave.earth/planet and use code DIGIT for 20% off your order.CREDITSExec Producer: Sam MichellProducer: Harriet ThurleyAssistant Producer: Eve JonesTechnical Producer: Dan Moss Video Editors: Dan Moss, Cameron Laird & Jack Whiteside Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming up on Diggett. Trust me, there are frictions within every family dynamic. And there are fallouts and arguments. And that's family. That's people. That's humanity. That's what happens. Really tough going through separation and a new home and new life.

And it does feel so daunting. But I know from experience and I know from other diggers who have shared that in time, things will be so much better for you. You're like, oh God, I just want to have a bit of fun, really. seriously? And I was like, times have changed. I don't like this. Ruin the fun for everyone. All of that right after this. Happy Monday diggers. I can't believe Zoe. Can you? We are nearly in October. Edging ever, ever nearer. The autumn and the clock's changing. How is that happening? Oh, I know, I know,

I know. I know. I lit my fire on Friday night. It was freezing. Can I just say the house was freezing. The cat looked at me. He sat in front of the fire and just looked to me. I looked at the lodger and it was like, yeah, what the hell. And we lit the fire. And it was lovely. It was lovely. But it's the ambience as well, isn't it? No, I would light a fire any time of day.

Oh, I love it. I love the smell and the crackle. It's just so nice. And also, I've had my electric blanket on the whole summer through. There is something about having an electric blanket on a low level. It's just really comforting and really nice for your bones when you're in bed. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you have to turn that off in the night because my heat in the night is, I, this is something I'd like to know. Why does a menopausal woman get so hot at a certain point in the night? Because it's sort of like it comes on. I have to throw everything off and then it's gone again. I just don't understand. But anyway, the idea of a heated blanket would be hell for me because I am just so hot in bed and not in the right ways, sadly. We'll ask the lodger about that.

Well, I'm always cold. I'm God, I am never, ever not cold. So that's why I love, yeah, my fires and the electric blankets. Yeah, I've never had hot flushes. It's never been a thing. You need me. I do. You need me next to you in bed.

You'll be like, oh my God. Let me cuddle you. Let me hold you. Like the crazy, crazy hot blanket that you definitely don't need. What have we got for digging today? First question is from Stephanie, who said a video popped up on my Instagram the other day. And it was Vernon Kay getting glasses for the. the first time. And it really resonated with me because I had to get glasses recently too. And looking

at myself in the mirror, I felt like I'd reached a real milestone. But I'm not sure how I feel about it, or if I recognize the person's staring back of me. I wondered how you've handled these moments when your body and your senses aren't quite what they used to be. And how you've adjusted to the new, older you. Have you found it as hard as me? This is from a recently bespectacled Stephanie. Welcome to the gang, Stephanie. I've got mine on today. Yeah. Mine are here. It is a moment, Stephanie. It really is when you can fight it and fight it and think, no, I'll be all right.

I'll be all right. And I don't know whether there's something to be said for holding off as long as possible. But I think the good thing with glasses these days is that there are so many cool glasses on the market. And whether that's you going, you know, cubits or you go in spec savers or boots, the chemist. I've got some great glasses from them. Oliver Fairley, Alexis Amour. Vision Express, eye company, yeah. Yeah, but you're right, Stephanie.

There's slightly, there's the image change of suddenly seeing yourself, if you've never worn glasses, like, who am I? And did these suit me? Because you don't even really know which glasses suit you. But it is very much a moment of acceptance, isn't it, Joe? I just went through a phase. And I probably still am there. I've just, I put them on, I take them off.

I put them on. I take them off. When I meet people, I apologise for wearing glasses. when just doing the shows that we do. And bands would come in or artists would come in that I've known for years and years. And I would feel really embarrassed that I was now having to wear glasses. And I'd always make a thing about it and sort of go, oh, I'm not really used to this yet. But I'd fight having to wear them.

But then I wouldn't be able to read my questions or anything. So you have to succumb to it in the end to go, all right, I have to wear my glasses or try contact lenses, which I've not managed to use properly. It's just too much fath. So now I'm kind of resigned to wearing glasses and I found a style that fits me but I really, really would love a refresh. It's hard to know where to go, I think. I mean, you've mentioned lots and lots of different places

on the high street which are fantastic, but you kind of have to go with a friend, I think. You go in there on your own and you try in the glasses. You just cannot tell what you look good in and you're just looking around the shop and going, do you like these? Do I look good in it? What do you think?

But really, you need a very good friend or a relative to just tell you, you know, what suits you and what doesn't. But it is definitely a bit of a head and head fuck. And also it's something to get used to, just to adjust to the new person that you are. So, Stephanie, I'll totally know what you mean. Yeah. And then it's sort of like the body, like, oh, okay, well, I always have a slightly wonky hip. Will we just be, it's all the different things you're starting to live with.

After watching, I watched a clip of our podcast last week and was like, oh my God, my neck and my jowls, this stuff and this stuff. and this stuff. I was like, God, I feel like it wasn't as bad as that as it was before. And I've really, so I've gone and bought some, what's her name, Trini. I was buying the present for my lovely friend M who wanted the microneedling roller from Trini. And I was in there and I was looking at some extra products thinking, oh, neck cream. And then there were loads of ladies in the John Lewis going, that neck cream's really good. All these products really work well. And I was like, right, I'll have.

And it's great because you can buy mini ones of everything. So you can try them out to see if. I have been slathering myself in the neck ring. Can you notice any difference? I think the damage is done. But again, it's that thing where you're sort of like, oh, it's so awful, you know, because I'm like, oh, no, my neck and my face. And then I think it's 30 years since live and kicking.

Of course you're going to have aged and of course everything's going to hang down because you are approaching 60. But it's okay because you've got your health and you're here and da-da-da-da. But it is these constant little adjustments of trying to accept. stuff that's happening to you that you can do nothing about, no matter how many neck creams you use, you know, if you're not doing surgery, which I never, I really just do not want to have a facelift or, you know, I joked about that, but the idea of going under a knife, I just like, no, just accept it and maybe just try some nice facials and creams now and again.

But Stephanie, I think the glasses is slightly like the beginning bit. Yeah, no, for sure, for sure. I find also when just doing sporting things like running, I find it so much harder now and I'm much slower. I go running with India on occasions and she's 34 and we're running together and we used to be the same speed and now I can't keep up with her and maybe I'm not as fit as I used to be. But I think definitely I just haven't got the energy of a 34 year old anymore and it really, really bugs me. And I keep thinking I'm going to go into training and I will be able to keep up with her. But now she's progressed on to doing 10Ks and I'm like, oh God, I'm never going to be able to keep up with you. and you just have that sense of things slipping a little bit further out of your reach

and having to try a little bit harder to maintain who you used to be or what you used to be able to do. And yeah, everything changes. You get lumps and bumps all over the place and you just wonder if it's for life. But certainly with glasses, I mean, when you see people like Vernon, I mean, the photograph we're showing at the moment is very funny. He's so handsome, Byrne, isn't it? He's a dashing sort. He never looks bad in anything that boy. No, he doesn't.

No, he's very, very gorgeous. Is he got his wind-swept hair because he's just come off his line bike? Yeah, probably. Bless him. They're good glasses that Vernon's wearing there. Yeah, they are. You'll get used to it, Stephanie. That's what I'll say to you.

You get used to it. So whereas I used to take them off all the time now, I don't even know that I've got them on. I sometimes get into bed and I actually have to touch my face to work, check whether I've got glasses on or not. Like, oh, I have still got them on and take them off now. I do that thing where I walk down the street and I've got my reading glasses on and then I've got my sunglasses on. And then I push them up on my head, which you're not supposed to do because it, widens the bends and they fall off your face.

So I walk along and I think, where are my glasses? And I've got two pairs on my head. And I look desperately uncool. And I just don't care. I was in the notticians the other day with the lodger. And I was looking at the chain things. Yeah.

Maybe I should do that. But I just, I suggested doing that once before. And I remember all my team at work were like, no, you will not get a glasses neck chain. you will stop at that, but they do look quite helpful because then I would always know where my glasses are. Yeah. I have this thing when I'm at work, when your guests are on the other side of your desk,

and then I've got my glasses to read anything that's in front of me, and then I'm looking at Hugh Jackman slightly through blurry lenses because he's at a distance, but at least it's like, do I want to look at Hugh Jackman or Andrew Scott in focus, or do I need to be able to see my questions or what I'm going to next? or shall I just riff all of it? It's a tricky. It's a dilemma. Yeah.

Stephanie, you'll never be as old as me. Remember that. Love. Now, Rachel has been in touch. She said, I listen to every digget podcast. Oh, Rachel, she's a true digger. Thank you. I was wondering if you have any advice on how to nurture your children's relationship.

My son and daughter, now in their early 20s, used to be so close as young children, but they've completely drifted apart since teenage years. One of them saying they don't have anything in common. They don't fall out but barely speak. I would love for them to be close and enjoy time together. And for our family to have weekends or even nights out together to chat and laugh. But this doesn't happen and I get tense about how they'll be if I try to plan anything. The best way is usually with their partners or friends present too.

I'm trying to adopt the let them theory, though not always successfully. Is it too late? thanks Rachel. Well, Rachel, trust me, there are frictions within every family dynamic. And, you know, you might see me and Zoe talking about our kids and the families and what goes on and the laughter and the, you know, the closeness between them. But there's also friction, you know, and there are times when some of them don't talk to each other quite as much and there are fallouts and arguments. And that's family. That's, that's people.

That's humanity. That's what happens. So it's not all everything that you see on Instagram or you read about or you hear us talking about. And, you know, you desperately crave, oh, I, you know, we all do, desperately crave for that idyllic, happy family all the time. And there's nothing you can do about it, I don't think. I try sometimes to be like some great mediator and try and get them to talk and try and negotiate. But sometimes they, I think you just have to accept that they're going through this phase in their life. And you say they used to be close, but now they're not.

There's nothing to say that they won't become close again. something will happen that will bring them together again. They'll find common ground. I'm sure, I'm sure they'll find common ground. You will get together at Christmas time and they'll start to play a board game or you'll have a drink or something like that will happen and the barriers will come down and they'll get on better together. I mean, I don't know, but I really hope that's what will happen and I predict that's

what will happen. I've got three brothers and, you know, we don't all speak to each other all the time and we don't see each other all the time and everyone's got different lives and different things going on and I can sometimes get a bit sad about not seeing them or worrying about what they're doing or thinking, oh, God, I'm being a really bad sister by not checking in. But I think it's okay because I do think you're right. Like we have it with our own friends where you can go and be apart, but then find each other at different points. And I think the great thing about siblings is they always have each other and there will be times when they

really will need each other and they will come back together, Rachel. And I think you're just, you just want it all to be like that picture of perfect thing. And like Joe says, you know, I mean, I saw Woody at the weekend, but I didn't see Nell and I really wanted them to have time together, but Nell's off living her life and, you know, having a lovely time and who's doing his thing, but they will, when they do have time together, they will find each other. And it does always depend on what they're going through in life where they're at with work, where they're living, who their partners are because sometimes siblings' partners don't necessarily

gel. And so there's so many different things at play there. And I think Rachel try not to worry too much, because that's the thing as mums, we want it all to be perfect. And we do trying to sort of, you know, put those situations in where everyone has to be together. And sometimes it's not what they need. So I wouldn't worry too much. And if there's any other diggers, you've got any suggestions here, do let us know. I think it's a factor of having older kids, isn't it? Because we can talk about when you've got toddlers or when you've got school-aged children and you can control things really. But when they get older, you can't control, you have to let go and you have to let things just pan out. And that's a really hard thing to come to terms with just the letting go and

then observing and hoping to God that it all works out. Okay. But it is, it's just something that you've got to accept. And, you know, I'm constantly fretting. I fret all the time about everybody being happy. You're only as happy as your unhappiest child. I mean, that is, you know, it's such a truism. And I'm always trying to make things happen. And sometimes you just make yourself. unhappy and you have to just stop yourself from doing that, Rachel. And trust the process of being a parent. Trust the process. Yeah. And Rachel, don't be fooled. We have not got perfect families at all. You know, there's loads of times that I don't get to see either of my kids because Woody's in Bristol and now might be more at her dads or I'm working in London and, you know,

it's not, it's far from perfect. I promise you. And I think we'll find that with most families and stuff like that, it's always, it can be, it can be really tricky. And I know it really does affect moms and dads. You do sort of feel it because you feel sort of responsible and you just want them to be happy and just to have each other. But they will find each other when they need each other. Don't you worry, Rachel. Now, Elaine has been in touch and she heard us talking about the family trip that I did with my mum and my sister to Centre Parks. And it reminded her of a particularly Rorca's time on the Rapids. She said, we go to Centre Parks as a family every winter for the winter wonderland because it is magical then. I know I've been at that time of year myself and it's

beautiful. Our kids are all in their 30s now, but a funny story, I went down the rapids once and somehow it pushed me back up. So when everybody else was going down the rapids, I was going out of the rapids and I just couldn't write myself and I have no idea what happened. It was obviously, Elaine, the force of the water and some kind of whirlpool that you got yourself in and some kind of current that was pushing you up. Oh my God. The end of the Elvedon rapids, it just shoves you in the water so hard that people literally just get tucked under and people land on top of them and it's the most violent exit to any water ride you'll ever go on. And when we went to the Woburn one, it's a nice kind of gentle bloop that they just like plop you in the water at the end. And I was

a little bit disappointed because it's quite nice having that chaos and feeling like you're in a whirlpool. But Elaine, thank you. They're so much fun those rapids. They are so much fun and they've given us so many amazing memories over the years. I know exactly what you mean. I love how fun they are, how grown-ups end up giggling, silly, like just, I didn't want to get off when I was on the rapids. The kids were like, come on, we're hungry, want to go and eat? I was like, again, again. It is just joyous. Also, health and safety has now kicked in because when we used to go, like, 30 years ago, you went down those rapids in whichever way you wanted to, however you could, whatever was the funniest. And so we'd go down in trains, we'd go feet first, we'd go head first, we'd go side, bottom first, whatever.

And now you've got these lifeguards who are like literally the age of my children. So 17 year old lifeguards who are going, feet first only, feet, oi, you feet first. And telling you off because you're going down the rapids the wrong way. You're like, oh God, I just want to have a bit of fun, really. Seriously? You go much faster if you go down face first instead of feet first. But then they tell you off and you have to oblige. I honestly really, really felt like I was being told off a lot.

And I was like, times have changed. I don't like this. Stupid health and safety. I know. You would think what is it? I know someone's had an incident and now it's ruined the fun for everyone. Can you just wait till they're not looking? Lastly, Freya needs some advice.

She says, firstly, can I say thank you for this wonderful podcast. I so appreciate your openness and honesty. I know you both had very difficult times lately, but I do hope you know the difference you make over the years. Oh, bless you. Thank you. Friar. Sadly, I'm currently going through a separation. Pretty devastated, to be honest. And starting again in my 40s with two young children is pretty scary. I'm trying to focus on the positives of a

new chapter in a new space to call my own. I love gardening and I'm sad to say goodbye to the garden I've worked so hard to create. It became my sanctuary for the last few years. It looks like my new garden will be quite small, more like a courtyard. So I was hoping you or your diggers might have some ideas for creating a family-friendly area where my children can enjoy playing whilst also incorporating a smaller, peaceful sanctuary for me to enjoy pottering and relaxing in. Thanks again to you and your fabulous community. You all bring so much comfort and light to my day's love from Freya. God, Freya. Oh, Freya, send so much love to you. It's really tough going through separation and a new home and new life. And it does.

feels so daunting to start again. But I know from experience and I know from other diggers who have shared that in time, things will be so much better for you and you'll be settled and you will have a new life and you're only 40 or really young, Freya, there's so much life ahead of you of your young kids. So top ideas, Joe, well, see, this is the thing. I've left gardens behind that I loved and gone to a smaller spot and you can still make magic. It doesn't matter how small that little garden is, your balcony, whatever you have. You can make magic in it, can't you, Joe? Yeah. I mean, when we get to the spring, and even in the autumn, you can put stuff in pots and you can grow things as we've talked about Freya. So you'll be

able to grow potatoes and strawberries and raspberries and all kinds of things in various pots with your children. And that'll be the joy. You'll plant them together and then they will pick them and then you can cook them. So not the children, the food. And you'll enjoy that. Maybe a seating area so you can have lots of blankets so you can snuggle together when it gets colder in the evenings. That's always really lovely, I think, and you can read or watch stuff on iPads or just be outside in a space. I would say seating and a nice table, nice lighting. You can make it look really pretty and beautiful. And that can be a project for you and your children to enjoy.

And that's a really lovely idea, actually, is if you've got an area where the kids can sit and draw and play as well, then you could be pottering, you know, with your plants. And I love it when you see people building garden furniture out of crates. You know, I did that course and they were using crate pallets to build garden furniture. And you can do that quite cheaply. And then I know my friend Lisa's done it in her garden where she's built a lovely bench, kind of almost like a daybed. And you could build that to fit in a lovely little corner and then cover it with some kind of mattress. And then, you know, your lovely fluffy cushions or whatever.

And then the kids have got somewhere to cozy up all you can. when the kids go to bed, just sit out of an evening and look at the stars and stuff like that. So you've got that. Yeah. And there are so many great books on small gardens, aren't there? There are definitely a lot out there. And also all of the garden people we love all have Instagram accounts, don't they? And you can just check out, if you go into, you know, Instagram or to socials and just check out ideas for small gardens and kids, send some in.

It'll be nice to grow some stuff that just gives you some colour through. the year as well, wouldn't it, in a small space. It's also a swing. I was going to say, when I lived in London, we had a tiny garden when India was young. There was just, somehow we found something, an overhead branch to attach a swing to. And it kept her amused for years. I mean, just sitting there on a swing or a swing seat, if you can, if you've got a space, or, you know, there are so many different ways of having some sort of a swinging chair. I think it's really comforting and it's really nice for you or for the children to play on. And, yeah, A big, big fan of swings, if you can incorporate that into your small space, Freya.

It's something really comforting, I think, about going back and forth, back and forth, whether it's you on your own or whether you've got a child on your lap. And if you haven't got any way to hang that, this is another thing that we've learned over the years is actually, you know, often people are put off by putting a small tree into a tiny little courtyard. But actually, there are trees that don't grow too big that you can have that will give you dappled light and that are quite slend. and they don't grow too big

that you could put in your garden or a little multi-stemmed tree. You could build some kind of raised bed in a corner of a courtyard because obviously plants do a little bit better if they could go in deeper soil, don't they? Oh, in Edinburgh is great because you get loads of rain.

My friend Sam is in Glasgow and I'm really jealous because she's got lovely Acer trees that just don't do very well in my garden in the south that do brilliantly because you get lots of lovely rain and you get fresher temperatures, don't you, in Edinburgh? If anyone's got any suggestions, especially anyone in the Edinburgh area. Yeah. And if you're a small garden designer in the Edinburgh area, fancy giving Freya some advice,

that would be great as well. Yeah, it's going to be about digging deep, isn't it, and just reframing this in your head. And it's a sad thing that you're going through. And you've obviously had quite a lot of struggle, but now it's time to just go, right, I'm going to dig deep. I'm going to be, I'm going to see this as an adventure. as a fresh start and I'm going to be positive about it. Because that's all you can do.

What's the alternative? So just kind of go, all right, forward facing. You've got us, you've got all dig it and you've got all the diggers here as well. And we're all with you and we'll share with you any ideas that come. But basically just be positive and know that there's a lot of people around you who are there to support and love you. And we've had lots of sort of single parents, haven't we? Lots of single parent diggers get in touch and who are, who are, you know, managing a lot on their own, but are doing it and erasing it, you know. And I hope you've got some really lovely

strong friends around you, Freya and family as well, who are just there to support you through it. And like Joe says, we're here for you too. If you've got any advice for Freya, you can message us on Instagram at Digit Pod or you can email or WhatsApp us. All the details are in the show notes. And hopefully, Freya, like you'll message us. And he is time with a picture of your lovely little space you created and tell us that you're doing really good because I believe that will be the case. That's it from us. We will talk to you again on Thursday because that's what we do now. We start your weekend on Thursdays, which is really, it's a fun thing. I'm really happy that we've moved to Thursdays. So we'll talk to you then. Have a nice week, Zoe. Anything exciting coming up?

I don't even know what I'm doing this week, Joe. No, same. Absolutely. It's like, do the pod, then work out what happens next? Where are the kids? What am I doing this weekend? even am I? All the jobs. Where's my list? I'll find out what you've done on Thursday. Bye. See Thursday, Joe. Love you. Bye, Diggers. Diggett is a Persephonica production.