Digital Social Hour - Being a Pro Ballet Dancer, Going on Survivor and the Revival of Smosh | Mari Takahashi DSH #293

Episode Date: January 20, 2024

On today's episode of Digital Social Hour, Mari Takahashi talks about the intense lifestyle that went into ballet dancing, what it was like going on Survivor, the return of Smosh and the future of eSports. APPLY TO BE ON THE PODCAST: https://forms.gle/qXvENTeurx7Xn8Ci9 BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [e-mail] SPONSORS: Opus Pro: https://www.opus.pro/?via=DSH Deposyt Payment Processing: https://www.deposyt.com/seankelly LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It took a lot of years for me to kind of prove that this was a viable career. And back in 2010, not a viable career. Definitely not. It was something that I would sort of say like, oh, I do ballet and I make videos on YouTube. Like, it was embarrassing. Now it's cool. Now it is, yeah.

You know, you ask any kid out there, what do you want to be? And they say a YouTuber. Welcome back to the show guys i'm your host as always sean kelly got with me a lovely guest for you guys today mari takahashi how's it going good i'm glad to be here yeah i've never had someone from your space so i'm excited to dive into it more sweet yeah from uh the the weird world of ballet turned uh gaming turned whatever the heck it is that I do these days. Yeah.

Can't say I've met someone with that background. It's a weird eclectic background. That's for sure. I definitely want to start off with the ballet stuff. Cool. Because you were like, you were almost a professional, right? I was a professional for 10 years. Yeah.

What was that life like? Because that sounds intense. So I started when I was two. I'm like a second generation, second generation ballerina, meaning my mom was a ballet teacher, a ballerina. And so it was kind of like destiny the way that I was brought into it. It's like, this is your life path. This is what you will do.

So in a lot of ways, like it was contentious because I felt like I didn't necessarily choose this thing. And so when I started getting a little bit older, I'm like, oh, I want to play soccer and do karate. And I basically just want to kick things. But ballet was kind of like the path. And so I stayed on that path for 28 years. Whoa. I mean, I put my whole life into it. Dang.

It was the thing that I thought I would do until the day my knees broke and then I would teach ballet until I died. Like that was my life path. And so coming from that, I think that in a lot of ways I was coasting I just thought that that's what life was going to be for me it was already kind of set out for me but YouTube is the thing that really changed everything right um it was the first time that that I found sort of independence in what I was doing and so it was a huge difference. Yeah.

But at the same time, I think that coming from ballet, nothing is as difficult as that experience. So I feel like the digital experience, the online experience for me has been just cruising. Wait, so how good was the money in ballet? Oh, starving artist. Absolutely. But I knew no other way. It was just kind of the culture. And it's like you know that you pour everything into your heart, into your art.

And so it was, I mean, I was doing well for standards. I had a full-time job. I was doing ballet eight hours a day five days a week and performing on weekends wow and teaching on the side and choreographing on the side and so it's like i had three four jobs and that was normal and that's just kind of status quo yeah that's a lot of jobs out at once yeah i mean it's all in the same realm, but I don't know. There's enough hustle mentality people out there that's like, yeah, that's par. But yeah, I don't think that I just saw any other direction other than that. So it just felt like the natural way to go.

And everything that you think of when you think of ballet, when it's like discipline and just working hard at the one thing. that you think of when you think of ballet, when it's like discipline and, you know, just working hard at the one thing. I think those are things that were instilled in me at such a young age that when I moved into digital media, I couldn't let go of it. It's just an ingrained part of me. So yeah, I feel that. Extremely, extremely helpful.

Wow. So how did that transition happen? Because that's such a different space. Like what exactly happened there? The definition of falling backwards into something, honestly. It was during the summer, my contract for ballet would run out during the summer. So all of us would scramble and take any job possible. I was doing birthday parties as a ballerina. I was a magician's assistant. I would just show up and do whatever gig was out there.

I was scrounging Craigslist and all this. And so I was on something called sfcasting.com, which is basically a Craigslist for entertainers okay and on that there was a listing for needing a japanese speaking person for a sketch comedy show for youtube and i said sure why not it pays 50 bucks dope that sounds specific very specific but hey i'm like oh i fit the bill and it's just for this one-time thing it pays 50 it's in sacramento and i was stoked for 50 bucks i'm like that'll pay for gas and lunch nice and so i went to this thing and met ian and anthony of a youtube channel called smosh back in 2010, they were like first or second most subscribed on the channel.

They had 10 million subscribers in 2010. Crazy. And, you know, these days, 10 million subscribers, sure. Kind of middle range maybe. Back then, it was bonkers to have that many people. I go into this gig and I don't know who they are. So I'm extremely aloof to the whole situation. I'm like, I'm here for the gig.

I'm here for the job. And whether it was my sort of candidness or my work ethic that day, whatever it was, we got along on set and they're like, hey, you want to come back to be a recurring role for us. ethic that day whatever it was we got along on set and they're like hey you want to come back to to be a recurring role for us and honestly i almost didn't show up the next day because i'm like it's another drive but this time i'm not getting paid it's just kind of like an audition

for this thing do i go but i had nothing in the book so i go and uh that that became a full-time job wow legendary they probably liked you because you didn't know them honestly nothing in the book. So I go and that that became a full time job. Wow. Legendary. They probably liked you because you didn't know them, honestly. Maybe. I mean, I don't know. I think that, you know, over the years we've talked about it and in some ways they say things like, you know, you can teach somebody to edit, but you can't teach charisma and and i've really taken that to heart the moments where i have some uh imposter syndrome i remember that yeah and so yeah i i always say you know like my motto has been show up and don't be like show up to the thing don't expect anything out of it be nice who knows show up and don't be like that it's taken me quite far in my career and i'm like i keep going back to that sort of

mentality of like you just never know what sort of friendships and relationships and work relationships you will find from just showing up and i mean like fully showing up like showing up for yourself and showing up um with the intention that you are going to give your full ability on that day. I like that. So when you were making that transition, what were those talks like with your parents? The transition took so long. You know, when I first put up the first video, I think that video hit something like maybe close to a million within a week. Nice.

And I had about 60% dislikes, and that was like 20,000 dislikes. I should have done the research to see how many dislikes, but it was like 20,000 dislikes. I should have done the research to see how many dislikes, but it was like 20,000 dislikes. And that was the first video I put up online. And I think if I didn't have a career in ballet, I would have stopped. And if I didn't have Ian and Anthony telling me like, no, just keep doing it. You'll get better. It'll be fine. I think I would have stopped. But knowing that this wasn't my full-time career, this was a minuscule sort of gig, but ballet was the grandiose sort of thing that I had worked my whole life for. It put into perspective what was important at that moment. And it wasn't these faceless dislikes. It wasn't

this faceless sort of like giant numbers that I couldn't understand. So I think that made it easy for me mentally, but I didn't stop ballet for a full five years until I moved to LA. And so it was a five-year transition of still working full-time as a ballerina still making videos adding more videos to make and in some ways I think it was my way of not having to have to admit to my parents that I'm letting go of a career that that my entire life has been dumped into um I have old school parents who come from a generation of like, you do one thing your whole life,

you get real good at it and you do it until you retire. And it's not that far off generation wise where that was the mentality. Yeah. These days, it's like, you know, you and I get tired of what we do in a month. We're like, okay, we're going to find something else

that we really, really enjoy and we know we're going to find something else that we really, really enjoy. And we know we're going to crush it because we love the thing. But that just was not the generation that my parents grew up in. And a lot of our parents didn't grow up. And so I think that it took a lot of years for me to kind of prove that this was a viable career. And back in 2010,

not a viable career. Definitely not in 2010, not a viable career. Definitely not. It was something that I would sort of say like, oh, I do ballet and I make videos on the side. It was embarrassing to a certain degree back then. Now it's cool. Now it is. Yeah.

Now it's, you know, you ask any kid out there, what do you want to be? And they say a YouTuber, which I'm like, go be a firefighter please go go aspire to be an astronaut um it's an interesting switch that has happened but i think for my parents it is still this wrestling for me of like at least from my mom, seeking that approval that was as high as when I was challenging myself and succeeding in ballet. Like nothing that I do in the digital space will ever sort of compare for her. Wow.

You know, selling out a 3,000-seater at the Paramount Theater in Oakland Ballet and having 3,000 people in the audience is way more sort of extravagant in my mom's eyes than 10 million views on a video. Wow. You know and so it it grounds me to a certain degree and it also makes me realize that I can't chase her approval. Right. Because I've set different bars for myself now yeah i can relate to that it took a few years for my mom to finally give give me her 100 support you know what i mean yeah because for her education was super important so when i dropped out of college there was some disconnect at first

for sure and i think our parents come from a place of love yeah like they want to make sure that we're going to be able to feed ourselves. And their way of showing their parental guidance is like, no, you do the thing that's always been a tried and true process. You go to school, you get a good job, and then you get paid. And then you can support yourself and your family and whatever it is. And it's a rough time because it's like well it can work out that way and sometimes it doesn't but to prove it to your parents is another is another thing and i think you should be so proud of the fact that you have overcome you know that that obstacle yeah some people like

you said their parents still never like i was talking to maria ho the poker player and her parents still don't even talk to her about poker. So it's just insane to see that sometimes it never repairs. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like what is the thing that will be the proving ground is interesting. I remember the time that I got into the Japanese newspaper. And this was only two years ago. I've been doing this for 13 years i got into the japanese newspaper

about um what i do and my parents are like oh now we see and i'm like did you just need me to translate the thing that i do into japanese and then i would get the approval it was a very interesting moment i'm like oh man i could have just made this so much easier for myself all these years yeah who would have thought a newspaper would be that it factor for them i know but but that's the thing right like i i i was on a uh twitch billboard in new york times square got paid pennies for it and they were like oh my gosh you've made it and i'm like no the everyday thing where where people are watching the videos and you know like the thing that does get me paid the working with these jumbo companies and like having sort of the stamp of approval from that like i'm like that's the proven ground not a newspaper and a billboard. Like the things that are like $0 to them are the thing that is like,

wow, you've made it. So it's a shift in mentality. But I also have a lot of empathy for that understanding too. I mean, things moved so quickly. Things have changed so fast in the world. I mean, look at what we're doing right now. We're podcasting and this is like, this is a viable career.

Yeah. Who would have thought? Who would have thought? I didn't even know it existed five years ago. It's crazy, but it's one thing I got to ask you because I'm a huge fan of Survivor. Oh yeah. I need to know what it was like going on that show.

You know, I maintain that Survivor is such a pure reality TV show, and I love that. I love the fact that Jeff Probst comes from a place of real curiosity. Like, he's just interested in how humans behave and how humans behave under pressure in a competition when everything from your own life is kind of stripped away from you and you are just yourself raw on an island with people you don't know. And everything from your own life is kind of stripped away from you. And you are just yourself raw on an island with people you don't know.

It's fascinating. I will say the camera people on that show, warriors, man. That was the coolest thing. So this was me being stupid and coming from like a production background so like i see things from a production perspective yeah and when i see these dudes with like 80 pound cameras on their shoulders running in the sand after after somebody who you know might have a moment i saw this guy running backwards with a camera tumble backwards somersault backwards get up and continue running and I'm like oh man

that is so cool and so I started poking around and asking I'm like what do these guys do when they're not doing Survivor

they're like in war zones doing documentaries they're in nature like going after lions like these folks are so

so pro I was really really interested about that but the show itself it changed me yeah yeah also i think it grounded me in a way that i was not ready for in the moment i was kind of like in i think this was like 2015 2016 kind of like a high in my career my whole life became my career you know

it became like my personality I was just so um ingrained in kind of the YouTube life and I go on this island and kind of when I'm I when the pillars of my my partner in life, my friends, my work life, kind of who I am on the day-to-day is taken away from me. I'm like, who am I? And I realized very quickly on the island, I'm like, oh, I'm like a scared, introverted 15-year-old. And that was a hard, hard thing to deal with because I'm like, oh, man. You know when you're in a social situation

and you feel like you're getting, like, ghosted by, like, 60% of the crowd? Yeah. And you, like, say something and it's, like, silent. And I think today I'd be able to kind of, like, mentally check myself and being like, this is not necessarily a reflection of myself,

but maybe the fact that we're all in a competition. But in the moment, it started to kind of, like chip at me wow and i realized that in so many ways i was putting myself first and instead of being interested i was trying to be interesting and in a social game like that it doesn't really work too much right and so that was a big sort of come to as I came back home and I was like, I need to really kind of shift my idea and go back to not being an a**hole. Interesting. So you'd say the social game is more important than physical on Survivor? It's a give or take. I think if you're physically physically fit then you can kind of keep yourself a little

bit more um safe in the in the beginning of the game but my case was different people saw me as a threat um yeah oh because of the ballet yeah and it's an interesting way that it happened our tribe was the millennial tribe okay and we had a 17-year-old, first time ever, youngest Survivor player. And I went in there saying that I do like producing for online media. I didn't want to say I'm a YouTuber, that I'm like this person that is known or anything like that. And so I just said producer. And then this 17-year-old is like, I know who you are. You're Mari and you're from Smosh.

You do ballet and you're a gamer. And all of those things combined, it was, oh, I wasn't sincere about what I said that I do for a job. I'm an athlete. I play video games, so I must be strategic. And so all of those things combined became Mari is a threat. We need to get her out quick. Oh, man.

And that's what happened. Sorry, spoilers. That's crazy. Did you have to bulk up weight before you joined? Because I know people lose a lot on the show. Bro, that was the saddest part. I bulked up. So I think I bulked up 15 pounds, which is a lot for my frame.

Yeah. And then I was booted off Survivor. After you get, can I say this? I think I can. After you get booted off Survivor, for the rest of the weeks that you would be on the island, you are put somewhere else. Basically so that you don't call home,

keep your mouth shut, are happy about the situation. So you're on CBS's dime for the next month wow so you don't have your phone or anything nothing dang yeah and and you basically have a chaperone with you at all times that they make sure you can't go to like a land cafe and like go on email or whatever it is um so i was in australia for remaining weeks, which I think at this point it was like something like six weeks. And I was just eating my feelings. I was getting bigger. I was like, I don't care. I'm so depressed.

Imagine having a full trip that is paid for by CBS. You're in Australia going on all these excursions and petting koalas. And you're just depressed AF. Like that was me. I'm like, I got to snap out of it. But I just couldn't. Yeah. So I came back. My husband is at the airport looking for an emaciated winner of Survivor.

And I walk past him. he does not see me. He does not recognize me. Oh my gosh. You put on that much? Yes. Yes. So it was a strategic weight and sad weight. But yeah, it's an interesting time.

If you want to go on it. One day. I think I'd be pretty decent. i think that's so cool yeah i think that's a that's a fun aspiration to have to want to be on the show so i got a good balance i got the social stuff and i got decent physical so i think i'd be a good yeah contestant i and like nowadays it's so much about the storytelling. Who is Sean Kelly? How is he going to tell his story on the show that will resonate with a bunch of people watching it? It's like you're already doing this by being a podcaster.

You know how to sort of craft other people's stories, craft narratives, and for yourself too. So I think that's a really big get. For sure. Were you able to predict the winner of your season? Like, did you know that person was going to win? I didn't predict it. I think in some ways I was booted so early that I couldn't really see the long game.

But my strongest ally is the winner. Oh, nice. Yeah. And so. You played a role in it. Maybe. I mean, I definitely played a role in which he had to crawl back to be in everyone's favor because he voted for somebody else to be booted, not me. Oh.

He was on the outside of like not knowing what was going to be like the final majority vote. Yeah. And so he had to kind of crawl back into everyone's favor. But, yeah. And I just saw him a few days ago. Nice. Yeah.

You should have him on your show. Yeah, I'd love to. He's here in Vegas. Oh, let's do it. All right, I'm going to put you guys together. Yeah. So after that, you started getting back into YouTube, and then from there you got into esports, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So YouTube went on for, gosh, I don't know, getting back into YouTube and then from there you got into esports right yeah yeah so YouTube went on for gosh I don't know maybe like four or five more years and during that time I started to think about just more of like how do I make a larger impact on the industry that I love so much. And sure, I can keep putting my face on YouTube videos and people like it and it's enjoyable and it's entertaining for some reason. But I started to have more and more conversations

with people that I knew about like, I don't know how to, but I feel like I want to and need to do more in the industry. I want to leave more doors open. I want more people to be part of this because personally I've had an amazing time in the gaming industry and you know asinine news headlines galore yes that is absolutely a part of the industry like it is in every industry right but there's also pockets of amazing people that i've worked with that i continue to work with and have

worked with and like it's a really great great industry to be a part of so i'm like i want to kind of be more of an example of like getting people in here because it's dope. You get to play video games and make it your job. So I started having a conversation with somebody named Sean Duras, somebody that I met on like sponsored trips and here and there at conventions and things. And I was telling him about this. And he's like, you know, how about we combine forces? He had already started an eSports company called Space Station Gaming.

Funny enough, I used to go to World Championships of a video game called Smite and I saw them their first year there because I was like, what are you doing at Smite World Championships? And he's like, I've got a team. And I'm like, I'm an instant fan. And so that was maybe three years before we even had this conversation. And so it was a really organic sort of thing of like combining forces because there was a real sort of affinity and love for this organization from my side of it.

And then from his side, I mean, he just saw the vision of being able to kind of come together with like-minded content creators. And that's what Space Station Gaming is. Love it. So what are your favorite video games of all time to play? Nothing competitive. Oh, yeah? I'm part of an esports org, and I love first-person narratives.

And so Fallout New Vegas is one of my favorites. I love The Witcher, Red Dead Redemption 2. Good gosh, GTA 5 will go down in history as my favorite. Minecraft. A lot of things where I can really

follow a story. You like the story mode stuff. I like story mode and open world. Open world, okay. So like things where I can kind of create my own stories. World of Warcraft. Less World of Warcraft. Less, okay.

More, well, nowadays like Starfield, right? Starfield. Where it's just kind of like, it's got a story, but you can kind of fly around and run around wherever you want in the world. So I like having parameters of a story and then the freedom to do anything that I want within the world. That's an interesting take because as an esports owner, you don't involve in the competitive scene at all. I myself know that I need to be carried the entire time.

I can bring some humor to the group. And if we're playing casual, I am there. But I love being an audience member. I think that being in an esports arena is something that I hope everyone is able to experience. And I think I might piss off some sports people here. But I think that watching hockey versus being in a hockey arena, watching baseball versus being at the stadium, I think there is an energy shift that is so visceral when you're watching it live that esports is absolutely that,

but times 100. Wow. Because I don't know, you're not seeing the physicality the way that you get to see sports, but you do get to see the excitement of what happens when something pops off in a game. Right. And unless you are there, if you're not fully understanding of like what the game is, it's hard to kind of understand it from a screen.

Yeah. The same way that I watch hockey and I'm like, I don't know, it looks all right. And then I go to a hockey game and I'm like, just like out of my mind, like yelling. That's relatable for sure. I don't watch hockey on TV, but in person. It's fun, right? I mean, I'm like, I got my fists on like the penalty box

and like, it's just so much more fun that way. So I think that with space station gaming it's all about storytelling for us and communicating to the audience whether they are into the esport that they're watching or not they're brand new um maybe it's a parent um maybe it's a kid or somebody you know much older who's like, what is this? We want to be able to tell the story more so that it invites a larger audience rather than kind of like gatekeeping and being like, if you don't know the game, you can't play or you can't watch. You're not going to understand this.

No, no, no, let's make it so that everyone understands it and can have fun with it because it's a really exciting place to be in. That's cool. I like that. I've actually never been to an esports match, but there's a stadium here place to be in. That's cool. I like that. I've actually never been to an esports match, but there's a stadium here, so I'm going to check it out. Yeah. HyperX Arena. HyperX, yeah. Big vouch. Yeah, I'll check it out. Where do you see esports going? Because I see mixed things about it on articles, but you're in the space. So from your perspective, what do you see in the future? It is a baby right now.

I think, you know, esports has been around, but I think it's still in its infancy. And right now we are seeing a lot of creator-led esports companies come to the fold. And it's interesting. I think it went from a really grassroots movement in esports, you know, something that was a little bit fringe, something a little bit more kind of tossed off to the side is like, oh, you do a esports thing. That's interesting. Kind of the way YouTube was looked at, right?

And then a lot of corporations came in saying, hey, there's money here. I'll buy in. Let's see how we can, you know, kind of like pump some money out of this. And I feel like the same thing out of this and I feel like the same thing kind of happens

with like something like YouTube people say oh there's money in this alright I'll throw stuff at it

and it kind of becomes a little bit like I don't know like the voice is kind of gone like corporate yeah

like who's like who's who's really kind of I don't know steering the ship yeah steering the ship like who's who's kind of keeping, I don't know. Steering the ship? Yeah, steering the ship.

Like who's kind of keeping the drum base going. Yeah. And so I think it's really now moving back towards to this more creator-led, grassroots, going back to the basic sort of industry. And I'm really excited about that. Space Station Gaming's been that throughout. And, you know, I'm tooting our own horn because I'm really excited about that. Space station gaming has been that throughout. And, you know,

I'm tooting our own horn because I'm proud of it. But I, I do see with a lot of folks coming into this, like, all right, if there was a bubble, let's see how we can, you know,

keep the bubble sort of intact, but bring it back down to earth a little bit. And so I don't think by any means is esports going anywhere, but it's changing. Right. And I hope that it's changing for the good. I think it's bringing back sort of less gatekeep-y sort of things of like, oh, you got to like throw money at the thing for you to be a part of it. Right.

But more so it's like it is about the game it is about the experience it's about seeing people who are so extraordinary at the thing that you that we all love to do perform at astronomical sort of like rates yeah and it's like our our east i think what the thing with esports is that kind of like skateboarding, everyone can kind of, like, pick it up. Everyone can pick up a skateboard. Everyone can pick up a controller. Right. But to really understand the difference between an esports player and, like, me,

you need to see where the ground is. And you need to see where the bar is of like amateur and then pro right and for like skateboarding you could see somebody who is 15 feet up in the air and they might be up there with a trampoline or they might have gone off of off of a ramp and they're 15 feet up in the air but you don't see where the ground is it's really hard to tell just how far they're flying up yeah and so i think with esports it goes back to being able to tell the story of like this is where the ground is this is where these guys are right it's incredible yeah i think it should be celebrated that way um and i think it's up to us as an

industry to tell those stories so that we are bringing in layman's we are bringing in people who are kind of curious rather than being like you don't know it you don't belong here gatekeeping yeah yeah i like that yeah i went through a phase where i was watching fortnight every day for months so i see potential in the space for sure yeah i mean it's like how do you how do you explain fortnight to our parents you know yeah and like how do you make them interested? How do you make them understand what the stakes are? And if you realize like

oh this player is 16 years old you know they're between sessions of fall and winter or fall and spring. During the summer time this is when they compete,

you know, like they have big aspirations for bubble. Like if you know what the story is, you're so much more invested. Absolutely. And so I think that's a big thing with, with e-sports that at least we're bringing to the table. Oh yeah.

Mari, it's been fun. Anything you want to close off with? Yeah. Appreciate you. no. Yeah. Thanks for having me on uh if you want to see

me i'm at at atomic mari wherever and everywhere and if you want to support space station gaming or esports org at space station gaming love it thanks so much for coming on thanks for watching guys have a good one