Digital Social Hour - Former Pastor Ken Joslin On How He Partnered with Grant Cardone | Digital Social Hour #131

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

On today's episode of the Digital Social Hour, we sit down with former pastor Ken Joslin and discuss how he runs his huge business conference Grow Stack Drive, how he helps people build their confidence and how he partnered with Grant Cardone. BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [e-mail] APPLY TO BE ON THE POD: https://forms.gle/qXvENTeurx7Xn8Ci9 SPONSORS: Opus Pro: https://www.opus.pro/?via=DSH HelloFresh: https://www.hellofresh.com/50dsh AG1: https://www.drinkAG1.com/DSH Hostage Tape: https://hostagetape.com/DSH LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do you think there's so much tension between religions? Because people like control. The stuff we've got going, right? It's just, it's control. People like to be in charge. You used to divide. That's exactly right. You better believe it.

Outwitting the devil. He's having a full conversation with the devil. The devil is... So he's basically said, I'm not even real. In the book, he starts off saying, I'm not real. Bob, he says, well, how do you stay relevant? So he said, well, what about the church? He says, well well they mentioned me so

i'm relevant there too i was like wow the discipline begins when inspiration and motivation in the end not always going to be you're always going to be motivated yeah but did you get your ass up you i'm not the most talented guy in the world i'm not the best looking guy in the world, but you're not going to outwork me. Welcome back to the Digital Social Hour. I'm your host, Sean Kelly. I'm here with my co-host, Wayne Lewis. What up, what up? I'm back from vacation, y'all. And our guest today, Ken Joslin. How's it going? Man, it's good, dude. What's up, fellas? Good to see you guys. I like those Jordan 3s right there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got me some of those. Former pastor. What was that like? What was that life like? Man, loved it, dude. People ask me all the time, Brad Lee's a good friend. Brad, the first question he asked me on dropping bombs was do you miss ministry do you miss pastor and I tell him all time and I pastor more people now very

high-level people in my mastermind my conferences that would never step foot in my church mmm I'm having a blast dude it's fun it's it's not any different what I do now than I did then interesting so you're still religious but you just do it in different ways I wouldn't call it religious when you talk about it's funny because when people talk about religion it's like the difference between religion and christianity there's a huge difference so religion is a man-made set of rules that says if you do a b c and d you and god are okay like it's funny at my korea conference in atlanta and i'll be the one in dallas we're gonna hate that well they they will but the people but the people that understand it will get it.

For sure. So when you walked in my conference, I've got these giant two-foot by four-foot floor speakers all over my conference. The very first two when you walk in the door are a quote I talk about all the time. God's love for you is a predicate on your performance. He loves you because he created you as a son or a daughter.

Absolutely. And you're walking into an entrepreneur conference and that's what I got on the floor. Because the reality of it is, religion says if you jump through these hoops and you do enough, right, you and God are okay. The gospel, the word gospel means good news. It's when you understand what Jesus did for you. You say, man, you love me enough to give your life for me. Then what happens is because the religion says, if I change on the outside, there'll be change on the inside come second. The gospel is when you understand and you're enlightened to what jesus did for you and

that he sacrificed his life for me and you understand that and that really is is comes alive in your heart what happens is the outside behavior then begins to change right because you want to change it's not i'm told i have to change and that's really the difference between religion and what i would say relationship with christ people will argue that all the time like you know they just they want you to believe what they believe and I'm like well that's religion that's why you get these you know it's I think it's created for separation a lot of different ways but what you're saying is right I'm more spiritual yeah so I understand yeah it is it really is I think it's just listen everybody we've got our core five inside GSD is faith health relationship business and finances and I tell people all the time like I just want you to

exercise your faith what does that look like for you my best friend's Persian he lives in Calabasas Forbes magazine calls him the Tony Robbins of Persian he said he was on my stage at Crete this year I put my hand on him and I said you know put my hand on his shoulder and i had him gary brackett you guys had gary on the show vint keller brent gove a lot of really good friends of mine and i had my my hand on his shoulder and i said listen i don't care what faith you are i just want you to exercise your faith and why i took some heat man my youtube channel man god they were blasting me calling me heretic all kinds of stuff but really the reality of it is was i'm like just if you spend time with me and you're with me and you see my because my

faith is real it's not i just i don't tell you what to do let me live my life you watch how i love god you watch how i live according to the purpose right in my life and you're gonna want you're gonna ask questions yeah why do you think there's so much tension between religions? Because people like control. People like control. I mean, everything we saw from COVID to the government to the stuff we've got going right, it's control. People like to be in charge. You used to divide.

That's exactly right. You better believe it. I mean, I grew up in the inner—oh, man, we may get straight politics right here. I grew up in the inner city in Pontiac, Michigan. Dad worked for right here um i grew up in inner city in in pontiac michigan dad worked for general motors i grew up in the hood um you know i have a lot my daughter's married to a black guy um i got a lot of a lot of my friends are african-american and when you see i think when you see and you you take a step back and you get a different perspective shout out to today's sponsor hello fresh america's number one meal kit they do all the shopping and meal planning for you. Ingredients arrive at your doorstep pre-portioned, ready to cook, along with step-by-step recipe cards that are pictured.

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Let me know what you guys order in the comments below. Can't wait to see it. Peace. And you see how our government, I don't care left, right, whatever you call it. I did a conversation at my conference two years ago with Hugh Jackson. Hugh's a dear friend, one of 14 African-American coaches in the NFL, Raiders and the Browns. Now he's at Grambling. So I go and speak to his team every year.

I did last year before they played Dion and got waxed. So I think I got an invite back in this year. But Hugh and I were sitting, I was doing Q&A with him right behind John Maxwell. And I said, coach, we're really good friends. I said, I'm a 53 year old white conservative former pastor. What do I need to hear from you that I don't know? Dude, you could have heard a pin drop in the room. And we just had a real honest conversation about what it looks like with race and America and division the things that yeah that we need to hear Wow yeah I want to get

into grow stack drive what exactly is when did you start and how did you grow it to be such a big yeah dude I met this crazy five foot five little bitty dude named Grant Cardone over of 2019 right and I met Grant I went down to I went down to his boot camp and I went to hopped on this webinar on a Saturday. And he was talking about coaching and mentorship and stuff like that. And I didn't know who Grant was. I had no idea. I clicked an Instagram ad.

Yeah. Dude, you click an Instagram ad on Grant, you're screwed. You're like Alice in Wonderland, dude. You're in the rabbit hole forever, right? Yeah. So I went down and I had an impromptu meeting. I met Grant 101. And he said, Ken, why are you here?

I said, dude, I want to blow the lid off my mindset of what's a lot of money because I want to help pastors equip their business guys in their church so they don't struggle financially hmm and he goes to Ken if you'll let me I'll help you been friends and a mentor for three years and so right after that I became one of grants first licensees and I started GSD and it was just really a passion to be able to coach and mentor and help high level business people around the country. Nice. And through GSD, you went on to meet people like Jordan Peterson.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yes. So Jordan, guys like Brendan Bouchard, Gary Brecka, Grant. Yeah. Gosh, Sharon Lecter. Sharon Lecter is a co-author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I just had Sharon on my coaching call Wednesday night.

We're actually doing a two-month on, um, on, uh, they can grow rich. Wow. And sharing all, cause she's, she actually took two months. Oh yeah. We're doing two months.

We're doing 13 principles. So we're doing one or two principles every week. So I had her on cause she's sits on the Napoleon Hill foundation. Um, she's the one that Napoleon Hill family gave the manuscript for outwitting the devil, which is a phenomenal book. Oh my goodness.

I read it three times, but it's insane. It's insane. I haven a phenomenal book. Oh, my goodness. You've never read it? Books. I read it three times. But it's insane. It's insane. Insane. I haven't read that one. Oh, my goodness. What's it called? Outwitting the Devil.

He's having a full conversation with the devil. Really? The devil is telling him exactly what he does. He tells you he's not real. He's a figment of your imagination, but he's everything negative. His opposition, which he calls God um says he's positive so he's basically said I'm not even real in the book he starts off saying I'm not real wow he says well how do you stay relevant so he said well what about the church he says well they mentioned me

so I'm relevant there too I was like wow the book is the book is crazy so they actually gave the family 60 years 70 years after because they didn't want to publish it yeah the wife was like no we don't want this out there because it was that controversial yeah so they finally gave sharon the manuscript and it was the original typed manuscript with all of napoleon's handwritten notes on it they gave it to sharon she went to her place in san diego she just shared a story with me on wednesday night probably one of the creepiest books i've i've read it on audible yeah creepy creepy voice is like creepy it's crazy yeah so anyway just yeah i just get an opportunity to meet some amazing amazing people man yeah and how do you keep these people in your network what what kind of value are you providing them to keep

them yeah so this is one of the things i love to talk about people ask me all the time they say ken how do you get the friends you get? I mean, I get to spend time with some amazing people. And great leaders want something for people, not from people. And I'm telling you, when you approach people from a standpoint of, Sean, I don't want something from you. I don't want either. What can I do to help you? How can I help you?

How can I add value to your life? A year ago, a year and a half ago, I finished my first Create create conference in Atlanta Jesse it's or John Maxwell Gary Brekker was there my good friend Brent go on the top guys at exp Realty and I had a list of five guys Randy Garne New York Times best-selling all right on the board with Tony Robbins one of my best friends and I called I had five guys and I called each of them and I said here's what I want to do my word for this year's intentionality mmm So a year and a half ago. And I said, I want to invest in our relationship. And I said, I want to take our friendship to the next level.

I'm willing to invest three things. My time, my talent, and my treasure into our relationship. My time, I'm going to fly where you live. I'm going to spend time with you. I'm going to put it on. And I'm busy. I'm going to put it on my calendar. And I've been to Salt Lake City to randy half a dozen times in the last year

and a half i've been to calabasas in la to spend time with jeff i was just there three weeks ago for a week i've been to gary brekker's in miami several times britain kathy live in puerto rico i've been to puerto rico um dick keller lives in dallas and he's got a place in whitefish montana i've been to both wow uh brian covey's a senior vice president of a revolution mortgage in nashville i was there two three weeks ago yeah so i spend time with these guys like i'm gonna calendar time to spend time with you talent this is the important thing and i think this is what people miss when you talk about high level relationships i'm going to use my talent to help your dreams come to pass who do you need need to know? How can I help you, Sean? Like, how can I help, how can I help your podcast grow? Who do you need? I even, I even told you on a text message,

you need Vic Keller. You want Vic Keller on your podcast? Dude sold 11 companies to Buffett for like a gazillion dollars, like legit, like all my friends and relationships. I have those relationships. I'm just a conduit and I understand that. So time, talent, I'm going to use my talent and my relationship to help your dreams come to pass and then my treasure if you're doing an event i'm spending money when brent did his build event does it every year tony robbins comes in dean graziosi i'm there gary brekka's there his front row seat's like four or five grand whatever soon is it gonna sell i buy one oh you buy your own friends you better believe i do i don't ever ask for a discount. Why? I buy, because I'm going to invest my treasure into what you do. You said why.

No, I said wow, because most people I feel like would just show up and don't do it. How, if I'm your friend and I want you to win, how in the world am I going to not invest in what you're doing? I mean, you're going to ask a stranger to invest? I don't ask anybody to invest in my stuff. But if I'm going to do your stuff, I'm going to call, it's me, Gary it's me Gary Brecca Dr T one of the top nlps and Dr Rob Kelly he's out of San Antonio he's the number one addiction specialist doctor in the world 97 success rate with the clients he takes on well dude when you look at his it's all a-listers his Zoom shot of his a-listers are like will ferrell will ferrell wonder woman james madsen i mean all these hollywood stars stephen tyler um it's it's just when you see him you know everybody

i'm on a zoom call with all these guys one day and i'm all i'm doing is introducing them i'm introducing all four of them together because they don't know each other like you guys need to know each other and gary i said gary you speaking at GrowthCon? He gets pumped. This was about a year and a half ago. He gets so fired up. He's like, dude, man, I'm speaking on Friday. Grant gave me 90 minutes. Are you going to be there?

I'm like, dude, you better believe me. What's the date? I look at my calendar and I'm like, I got front row tickets to go see Eric Church in Birmingham. They cost me a thousand bucks a piece. Gary, I'll be there. I put them, I sold them. I think I lost a thousand bucks apiece yeah yeah Gary I'll be there I put him I sold him I think I lost a thousand bucks well I picked up the phone I called Jim Morales who was grant CFO and I said hey I need a $10,000 diamond seat to sell the front row mmm not only does sell my tickets but I paid 10 grand to sell in

the front row so when Gary came down the the runway for the very first time I'm standing there right on the front row and he beeline to me when he saw me and hugged my name right before he gets up on stage. Wow. And was one of the most impactful talks I've heard at GrowthCon

in the last three or four years. Wow. That's incredible. So time, talent, and treasure. Like when you do those things and you want something for them, not from them, dude, you start attracting

what I call champions. Like that really is the motto of everything we do. Our conference in Dallas, we gather champions. We have some of the most amazing human beings in that room and on that stage and you're ever going to want to be around a lot of my guys carlos reyes i don't know if you guys know carlos and i yeah dear friend dude brought his whole family to atlanta my dude let me take let me pay you

nope let me take care of your travel nope i love you dude i'm going to support you anthony trucks truck speaks on everybody's stages 30 to to a hundred grand a pop. Dude, just take care of my plane ticket. I'm like, dude, you sure? He goes, yeah, man, I love you. I want to support you. I'm like, okay. And these guys know it. They need me. I'm going to be there. I do. I'm there. Whatever they need. Cause a lot of your speakers would normally charge a hundred K to just talk, but you're getting them just off relationships. Yeah. Most of them, most of them are off relationships. Well, yeah.

They say the most powerful thing is a relationship not money it's uh proximity is a cheat code right i'm telling you when you and again it's wanting something for them so all throughout the year i'm like dude how can i this morning i'm texting and connecting people i'm texting and connecting i don't even know you i mean i met you through gary and sage right i mean i'm i'm like who does he need to know who does he need to have on who could help him and i'm just i'm constantly thinking that way wow and you want to you want to circle all the way back to our conversation about jesus earlier that's what he did because man i'm just here to connect you with my father i'm here to connect you with the people you need to know so you can become the best version of yourself

incredible imagine if everybody thought like that. World, you know how many friends would actually be, it would be just so many groups of powerful people. Yeah. Because they all help one another, but we just, society hasn't painted that picture for a lot of us. You know what I'm saying? Let me tell you, Vic Keller,

the guy I told you about earlier, Vic's become a dear friend. One of my really good friends is a CMO. He owns 17 companies now. Shares, I think, nine of them. And one of my best good friends is a CMO and he owns 17 companies now. Chairs, I think nine of them. And one of my best friends was like, hey, you need to have a call with Vic. So in August, I had a 15-minute scheduled call with Vic. Dude, we hit it off.

It was an hour and 27-minute conversation. This guy's a billionaire. The last 15 minutes of the call, he asked me six times, Ken, what can I do for you? I said, Vic, I don't need anything from you. I said he asked me dude. I want to help you. I love your mission I love your vision. I love what you're doing. How can I help you? I said dude Vic I don't need anything from you. Hmm the sixth time he asked me six times. I said see what you do. I Said November the 1st to the 5th. I got my mastermind in Scottsdale I said fly in and speak for a day.

Hang out. Randy Garn is going to be there. Bracken is going to be there. We had Dana White come in on a Zoom call with me that day and speak to our mastermind. I said, just come hang out. He goes, I'll give you one day. I said, okay. So Monday night, the 31st, it was Halloween.

Everybody came and we did dinner. We started on Tuesday afternoon. Well, Vic flew in on his jet from Omaha. He had lunch or had dinner on Sunday afternoon with Warren Buffett. So he comes in. He comes in on Tuesday. He gets ready to speak and he goes, hey, can I need your videographers to turn the cameras off? I said, sure.

I said, turn your cameras off. He goes, I need everybody to place your phone face down on the table. He goes, I'm going to spend the next 45 minutes telling you what I've learned from Warren Buffett over the last eight years. Could have heard a pin drop in the room. Wow. Vic stayed all three days. He's in every one of my events. I talk to him two or three days a week.

And any time I have a business thing that I need wisdom on or help on, I pick the phone up and I call Vic. Who else is going to be able to help me like that Wow and he showed up because I would just was constantly I do that I don't need anything mmm who do you need to know who do I know that you need to connect with and that's that wanting something for people not from people guys I'm telling if you live your life that way you're like a magnet for amazing people who want to be around you it's powerful what do you feel like the main problem is now with like to today's society and culture when it comes to that are we not catering enough to want to one another or are we not just good friends yeah so i so i've

got four daughters my 27 year old daughter um when she was when my daughters were in kindergarten i used to i used to, I used to, every day I dropped them off on my mortgage company back in the mid two thousands for about six, seven years. I dropped off at school and I said, Hey, listen, baby, we're a servant leader. Our, our family, we're servant leaders, servant leaders do three things. We put other people's needs before our own. We do things right the first time and we do things without being asked every day. When I dropped my kids off for school, they would tell me what a servant leader was and then when i picked them up from school they would give me an example on how they were certainly that day daddy we came

in from recess it was hot johnny wanted water i let him go in front of me miss green's trash didn't he be taking that dad she didn't ask i just took it out my daughter goes to college in birmingham she works at a brand new chick-fil-a the owner operator has two chick-fil-a stores she just keeps getting promoted promoted promoted promoted road the owner operator comes in he's like you're like 19 years old how are you getting all this team she was like the front end kitchen manager how do you get all these people to do what you ask them to do and she goes super simple i practiced the three characteristics of the servant leader my dad taught me since i was in kindergarten she sent me a picture from her iPhone.

He had her right, you know, in the kitchen or in the front on the Chick-fil-A's where they have the little stainless steel where they slide the fries and the nuggets down, was written three characteristics of a servant leader. And so I think the biggest thing is in our culture, man. That's what we're lacking. If we would develop people who have an attitude in the heart to serve other people yeah but when you add value and you serve people people want to be in relationship with you you can either be transactional or you can be relational and if you're relational i tell people that you're going to make more money than you

know what to do with right and what's your definition of transactional it's it's just it's i'm with you or I'm with you just so I can build my brand or I can get a check or in or it equates into what's what what my bank account looks like guys and when you're relational and you really care for people you want something for them not from them you lay your head down on the pillow at nighttime and you guys get this I can tell I can tell you get this yeah like there's a level of fulfillment you get to live at i don't care how many comments you got in your bank account i know a lot of wealthy people who are freaking

miserable really and i know a lot of i know a lot of guys who are not poor but but have decent money who live at such a high level of fulfillment because they know they're making a difference in the lives of people god sent to them and why do you think those people are miserable with the so our core five faith health relationship business and finances i know a lot of guys who focus on the business and the finances but their faith health and relationships are a mess and the reality of it is is is we're created we're the only beings created with a spirit we're flesh soul which is our mind will emotions and our spirit man we're the only the only animal the only creature that

has a spirit because god created us in his image. And we're created and designed to serve people. We're created and designed to love and be unselfish. And when you live a life that way and you really do want something for people, not from people, you don't live for the dollar. You don't live to get wealthy. And there's nothing wrong with any of those things.

Nothing wrong with those things. But you really do live to get wealthy or get there's nothing wrong with any of those things nothing wrong with those things but you really do live to serve people and when you do that especially when you're doing stuff like I've got a real estate team and stuff like that when you do real estate or any kind of service based industry and you take care and you serve people people going to do business with you right because of who you are right now there's this notion on social media that billionaires are selfish that people like elon and mark could save world hunger if they wanted to you hang around with a lot of billionaires what has your experience been like with them they're they're some of the most generous people

that i know the ones that i know that they're i mean vic sits on the board of acts 29. um it's crazy how the perception of billionaires and what he actually experienced is totally different I mean I'm sure you can find something not what because I think that people just their problem is they want them to do what they want them to do right so well the problem is most people that say most people that say other people aren't generous or really I call it the fat girl syndrome it's like two girls in high school when they're fighting they're both fat the first one to call the other person fat wins because it gives the attention off of them that they're fat too you know

and it's like when people accuse you of doing something the reason they accuse you is is because they're not generous you know projecting yeah exactly right because they don't want you to look at them go hang this man you're not generous either right and I'm sure you can find people that aren't and they're not feeding the homeless either yeah I just just don't i mean my my best friend jeff is working with tony robbins on his billion meal mandate or whatever i've got him and randy garne both are working on that i think just did i think it's a billion meals just just bought 400 000 meals for tony honored him at a big event they did um in new york city i don't know about four or five months ago it's amazing so i mean i've got guys man that are really they're really they really

have a heart to serve and help people who are some guys you met that just completely changed your life like your perspective um you know grant and there's some things with grant that i don't agree with obviously you know we're but dude he uh i've had several one-on-one conversations with grant and he's always been gracious to me he's given me a platform pulled me on instagram lives i spoke down at 10x two or three times to the team um he's been he's been phenomenal for me uh vick keller is one of those guys randy garn gary breck i was on the photo just on phone gary sage this I've lost 82 pounds in three years. Whoa.

And Gary's been a huge, he's been hugely instrumental in that. Wow. You know, my best friend, Jeff. I mean, when you get around Brent Gove, he's one of the top guys at ESP, 29,000 agents in his downline, 1.2 million a month in residual income. My gosh. I mean, when you get around these guys, and these guys, I tell people all the time, this is what's different about what

we're doing in our in our in a car called a movement at our conference and our mastermind is like they're amazing entrepreneurs but they're even more amazing human beings they are amazing human beings and I think being around the guys that I get to be around that are at that level and then seeing I just said I just sent a voice text to all I've got six people on my text read Gary Brekker Randy Garn Vic Keller Brian Covey master Jeff and and and bring go those are the six thousand I sent a text this morning and I just 30 45 seconds on what I loved about every single one of them Wow and I'm my dude I love you guys my Gary Brekker this is what I loved about every single one of them. Wow. And I'm like, dude, I love you guys.

Like Gary Brecker, this is what I love about you. Randy Garn, this is what I love about you. And I just went through that. Dude, the text messages after that of us firing back is Proverbs 27, 17. Iron sharpens iron. Dude, we're constantly sharpening each other. My best friend, Jeff, went to his house at the beginning of the year. And he goes, what's your goal this year? I said, dude, I want to make a million bucks. He leaned across. We're sitting in his house at the beginning of the year and he goes what's your goal this year i said dude i want to make a million bucks he leaned across we're sitting in his backyard

of calabasas i mean he lives right across the street from one of the kardashians right he leans across ready's pool when he puts his hand on my knee he goes a month or a week i said no no no no dude you don't understand i said we should do about 5.192 million in revenue i want to make a million dollars promise myself yeah and he goes he leaves he puts his hand on my knee he goes a month or a week and then it hit me and i'm like i said dude just let me catch up to making a million dollars a year and then i'll get to the million a month when you get around those guys they don't let you think small like they force you to think and believe bigger than you can believe on your own wow it truly is iron sharpening iron i like that yeah so you can believe on your own. It truly is iron

sharpening iron. I like that. Yeah. So you're big on manifestation. I mean, I guess it's manifestation. You work your ass off until God moves in such a way that it happens. And I've got a concept that I created three years ago called incremental, not monumental. My weight loss journey and my business journey, small daily discipline decisions over time, always equal monumental results. Success can't escape you when you do the right things every single every single day and this student is you got to do the things we're gonna call with this money we're on a mentorship call of grant there's 1,200 people in the zoom call huge and grant and Elena were on the on the call and he goes

we'll give you guys homework which that's five people this week to describe you in one sentence or less. I text Grant and Jared. I said, hey, I got a question. Grant calls me preacher. He goes, what you got, preacher? I said, hey, G, this guy named Grant Cardone gave me some homework. I was supposed to ask five people to describe me in one sentence. Since you and Elena are right there sitting side by side, can you guys be my first two people?

And he just laughs, right? Grant laughs and he goes, he thinks for a second. he looks at me and goes, did you always show up? Every time I look up, there you are on social media. You're doing your own events. You're sitting in the front row of my events. I'm on Instagram live. There you are. Like every time I look up, you're there every single day. And it literally is putting in the work when you don't feel like putting in the work. I was just texting Ben Newman. He's a huge, phenomenal, like a sports psychologist coach. He was being with Nick Saban in Alabama for five years. And, and I text Ben, I, one of the things I commented, I said, you know, discipline begins when inspiration and motivation in the end,

not always going to be, you're not always going to always gonna be motivated yeah but did you get your ass up you I'm not the most talented guy in the world I'm not the most athletic guy in the world I'm not the best looking guy in the world but you're not gonna outwork me but I'm not gonna get up every single day at 4 a.m. like I'm going to and get in the gym and do the things that I do every single day and over time I heard I heard somebody say this several years ago we always overestimate what we can do in the short term right and we underestimate what we can do in the long term it's a marathon man it's not a sprint well those people want instant gratification they wanted

that society that's the society because we're instagram exposes you to so much impact and so like right now you can have this right now right now right now so we're chasing that like right now you can have this right now, right now, right now. So we're chasing that like the now versus like you said, the long term incremental successes and the micro successes people want to focus on the macro bad. And it's hard to make a million dollars if you never made a hundred thousand before. They don't understand that. You know, when you get the room with guys that are making more than a million dollars a year, also you go, yeah, this is possible. Yeah, we can do this. Like I can,

cause you look at guys and you're like, and one of the things Vic told us about, about Warren Buffett that first day and he had dinner, he calls him Mr. B. He goes, he puts, he's a man just like I am. He puts his pants on just like I do, but he's been doing the same thing every single day, seven days a week since he was 17 years old. Yep. So you've been doing it for 75

years that compound interest over time over time over time over time it's nuts it's just i think he's been getting 20 a year for 50 years straight crazy dude like do the numbers on that bro that compound returns are crazy yeah um have you had any rock bottom moments or have you always been just man no dude i uh ended a 27 year marriage and about a year and a half ago four daughters how was that hardest moment in my life I mean I asked her for 15 years and hardest moment in my life I mean I remember it was March of last year it's about a year and a half I walked out of mediation on Friday I was in mediation with my attorney and the meeting

attorney came in and she goes she looked at me she's like a 65 year old grandma kind of attorney they don't put up a no right and she just kind of grabs my hand she goes tell me what happened I just lost I'm crying I'm like what I've been separated at that time for over two years I'm like what is wrong with me why am I doing this and I signed all the stuff that day and she goes your divorce will be final on Monday and I walked outside and I called Jeff my best friend in Calabasas I said dude man I'm struggling he goes I'm gonna send you a plane ticket fly out here and I flew to Calabasas and I spent nine days at Jeff's house and the first

five or six days he would not let me talk about business because we're not talking business because I just I just want you to be here and get healed and I said I it started me on a, just a healing journey for me personally for the last year and a half. It's been an unbelievable ride for me and my daughters, just really strengthening those relationships. Yeah, so it's not always good. Life can be hard, and that's why those relationships are important. Question. Now, is healing and accepting the same thing?

Because I feel like, I mean, I may be wrong, but I feel like we truly don't heal in a sense. But I feel like we learn to accept, which is totally different from healing. I don't think you can heal until you accept. So it's there to say that. Yeah. I don't think. Well, I mean, I think there's things that you can do. You learn how to.

Dude, I have at one time had three therapists I had two right now Wow yeah to read so you were going to see him today I have to dr. Rob's online he's an LP guy Maxine is my tell people she's a mild version of Medea she's an older 50 year old black lady don't put up with nothing I walk in the door she's like you praying spirit this week how you and Jesus do we're good we're good miss magazine and I see her and then Lauren is a dear friend speaks at all my conference she's one of the top somatic therapists in dating relationship coaches on on social media she's phenomenal I meet with her every week we

do somatic therapy I walked into Maxine's office last March right after my divorce just found the first time I met her and she said she tell me a story tell me a little about you. And I said, born in Detroit. I was raised in Pontiac. Parents got divorced and I was eight years old in second grade. Mom moved us to the Atlanta area. From my sixth grade year to my senior year of high school, I moved back and forth to my dad six different times.

And she looked at me. She goes, why in the world would you want to move so many times? I said, Maxine, I didn't have a choice. If I ever got in trouble, my mom would say, said go pack a bag i had 24 to 48 hours i was on a bus a plane or my dad was on the way from detroit to pick me up she wrote in her journal and then she looked at me and said something to me that was probably i've had two aha moments in my life one in august of 93 when i gave my life to christ i was 25 years old and then this moment and she asked me this question.

She goes, Ken, how do you think that's affected your relationship with the women in your life who are supposed to love and protect you? And I lost it. Three weeks before that, I was in San Francisco with a woman that I love very much that I was dating. We didn't even make it out of San Francisco. We had an argument. I got triggered. I made her pull the car over. I got my suitcase out of the car we had an argument I got triggered I made her pull the car over I got my suitcase I left Wow and so here was a 53 year old man living out the trauma of a 13 year old boy except now you're not gonna tell me

to leave I'm gonna leave before you tell me to leave hmm and it was an eye-opening experience and I spent 14 months really doing a lot of therapy and reading the masculine relationship by GS Youngblood, the way of the masculine man by David data therapy with Dr. Rob therapy with Lauren therapy with Maxine. Why those books? Dr. Justin Marchegiani 2,020 Just people just people recommended them. Some of my therapists recommended them to me, and really learning how to control my central nervous system to where I didn't get triggered

and just react. So do you feel childhood trauma? Well, I feel like I feel like it does, but your childhood trauma is kind of the mold or sets the tone of how you view life, relationships, love and anything. A thousand percent is a lot lot of times i had no dude i'm 53 years old the one question i kept asking maxine and lauren is how in the world have i not i mean it's not like i've not been to therapy yeah yeah yeah how in the world did i not know this was there right like and there's just moments in your life you have no idea those things are there so at my conference this year i mean literally on the at the end of friday i brought lauren up so faith health relationships and the relationship section. Lauren comes up.

She talks about masculine, feminine, and polarity in relationship. And then I come up. We grab two high top, we tip two bar stools. And I share my story just like I share it with you. 350 foreign people, not a dry eye in the place. And then I've talked about how do we know that we have unresolved trauma? Two things. Number one, we react versus responding like

when somebody says something you get triggered and go zero to a hundred quick you just feel your temperature gauge reactive yeah you react instead of respond because response is okay let me sit with it let me process it let me hold space okay and then you have you can have a calm conversation i could not do that not even close second thing is if you can't set and keep healthy boundaries if you're in a relationship and you can't set and keep healthy boundaries there's probably some unresolved trauma that's the reason why you can't do that and it just takes work it's no different dude i've lost 80 pounds i was in that's a planet fitness busting my ass this morning lifting like a fiend on the treadmill sweating peloton at home f45 class

all the stuff gary's gary 10x health systems i'm on all that yeah it's you you have to do those things and therapy's no different do you feel like men have less support than women when it comes to the emotional aspect why is that because we're supposed to be men we're supposed to be but we're emotional beings too. Yeah, but it's just, again, it's a societal thing that says this is how you're supposed to be. And the reality of it is, dude, when I was in Irwin's Mastermind in L.A., I'm talking about high level. There's old Marians in that room with us. Kent Clothier.

It's a very high level room. And I'm sitting there and there was a couple of guys and they just broke down. I'm talking about very wealthy guys dealing with father issues dealing with anger issues from people who had betrayed them and i'm just watching this dynamic in this room and even in my own mastermind i'm watching this dynamic of people being free to really drop the curtain and go hey dude here's what's going on and if i heard craig or shell pastors, probably one of the largest churches, like church in Oklahoma, got hundreds of campuses. I heard Craig and she'll say this 15 years ago at a pastor dinner

with a dozen of us there. He said, guys, you're only as sick as your secrets. You're only as sick as your secrets. Somebody should know what's going on in your life. Not everybody, but one or two guys. And I have one or two guys out of that six. My best friend, Jeff knows what's going on in your life not everybody but one or two guys and i have one or two guys out of that six my best friend jeff knows what's going on in my life he know vick keller knows what's going on in my life there is nothing i keep from those guys right absolutely nothing they know everything about me so it's important to have at least one person

that you could just vent to here's who here's who i am non-judgment zone that's exactly right yeah you need that i mean you gotta call them crying and they just listen like but i said i said this on my stage at create these guys i had all of them lined up i said these guys love me for me they don't love me for the impact i make they don't love me for the stages i have or the mastermind they love me they love ken they don't love ken because he runs gsd or runs a mastermind or hangs out with grant or does all they love me because of who i am as a human being right and when you can find friends or relationships like that dude it's a game changer man absolutely it's a game changer but the therapy thing let me say this for some of you guys listening the therapy thing is this like we tell people like therapy

has like this bad connotation right it is therapy is just like getting your oil changed in your car. You don't change your oil when your engine locks up. You change your oil every 3,000 to 5,000 miles so your engine doesn't lock up. Right. Therapy is the exact same way. It's just preventative. Preventative. That's it.

Preventative maintenance. Ken, this has been so powerful, man. For real. I'm inspired. Where can people find out more about you and what are you up to? At Ken Jostle on Instagram. That's the best place. Growstackdrive.com forward slash create Dallas.

We're going to be in Dallas end of July. Yeah, but Instagram is the number one place. Awesome. Wayne? Make sure you guys follow me on Instagram at The Creator. Thanks for watching. Thanks for tuning in, guys. See you next time.

Peace.