Digital Social Hour - From Rock Bottom to Viral Success: A Digital Redemption | Michael Molthan DSH #965

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

From rock bottom to viral success: Michael Molthan's incredible journey of redemption! 🚀 Watch as he opens up about overcoming addiction, finding purpose in prison, and transforming lives. 🙌 Tune in for raw honesty and life-changing insights as Michael shares: • His path from 27 arrests to spiritual awakening 🔑 • How reading to fellow inmates sparked a movement 📚 • The power of vulnerability in healing and growth 💪 Don't miss this eye-opening conversation packed with valuable lessons on forgiveness, redemption, and the human spirit. Join the Digital Social Hour community and discover how one man's darkest moments became a beacon of hope for thousands. 🌟 Hit subscribe and turn on notifications to catch more inspiring stories that'll change your perspective on life, success, and second chances. 🔔 Let's keep the conversation going in the comments below! #DigitalSocialHour #SeanKelly #MichaelMolthan #Redemption #Addiction #Recovery #Inspiration #substanceabuse #mentalhealthadvocate #relapseprevention #addictioncounselor #mentalhealth CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:27 - How Michael Got on the Steve-O Show 01:46 - Addiction Awareness 04:47 - Michael's Fiancé 06:16 - Phone Addiction Issues 09:00 - Michael's Personal Story 11:23 - Childhood Trauma and Addiction 14:00 - The 27 Mugshots: A Journey 17:25 - Getting Released from Prison 19:35 - Finding Energy and Motivation 24:16 - Emotional Control Challenges 27:23 - Solutions to Overcoming Fear 28:25 - Rock Bottom Moments 29:18 - No Visitors in Prison 30:10 - Addressing Sexual Abuse 31:51 - Missing Prison Life 33:18 - Impact on Your Kids 34:59 - Your Ministry Journey 40:40 - Advice for Parents of Addicted Kids 43:00 - Communication Issues with Women 44:00 - Finding Relief from Trauma 46:55 - Resetting Your Mind and Body 48:46 - Final Thoughts and Reflections APPLY TO BE ON THE PODCAST: https://www.digitalsocialhour.com/application BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [e-mail] GUEST: Michael Molthan https://www.instagram.com/m2therockshow www.youtube.com/@MichaelMolthanM2 LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/ Digital Social Hour works with participants in sponsored media and stays compliant with Federal Communications Commission (FCC) regulations regarding sponsored media. #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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And once again, it's a person place thing or a thought that has become my source. And for me personally, I had to reach for the invisible to fix my visible problems. All right guys, got a crazy story for you guys today. We got Michael Malthon here today. He made the drive all the way from Dallas. Thanks for coming on, man.

Man, I appreciate you. What an honor. So good to meet you. And I love what you do. I love what you do. I saw you on Steve-O and I was like, who is this guy now? That was a good show. Yeah. So first of all, how did you get on that show?

Cause that's crazy. Well, we, you know, M to the rock is our platform and our show, you know, just like yours, where we have, you know, inspiring stories from, you know, inspiring people. And he was on his bucket list tour and the PR team that was, you know, inspiring people. And he was on his bucket list tour and the PR team that was, you know, running M2 The Rock at the time just took a stab and reached out to him to see if he'd

be a guest on the show. And he literally flew a red eye in and came in and he was real quiet, kind of reserved. And I came in, it was cold at the time, I had a jacket on and he was kind of sizing me up, you know? And then once I took my jacket off, I had a jacket on and he was kind of sizing me up, you know. And then once I took my jacket off, I saw the tats and, you know, and we started the show. He was kind of reserved, but then there was a connection that we could relate to each other as far as drug addiction, alcoholism and party and all that stuff. And it popped. I mean, we couldn't even go to commercial breaks. I mean, he just would not stop talking. But he's such a good dude, very passionate about his recovery. He was introverted because when you think of Steve-O, you think of just Hugh not stop talking. He was, but he's such a good dude. Very passionate about recovery.

He was introverted. Cause when you think of Steve-O you think of just huge ex-over. Yes. Yeah. And I'm that way too introvert, you know, off the screen. I'm, I'm pretty quiet. Um, but yeah, he's, he is a good dude. I highly endorse him.

Yeah. You struggle with addiction early on. Right? I did. I did. You know, I, um, you know, my story's no different than any other drug addict alcoholic. I drank, I did drugs, I fell down. I said I was never going to do it again. I meant it and I did it again. I didn't know why I was doing it, but you know, I've learned

today that, you know, we were taking our focus off the word addiction and, you know, addressing why the addiction. Um, and we've even broadened it further. And when I speak in tour, you know, everyone's an addict. Everyone is an addict. And so what is addiction? You know, addiction is a person, it's a place, it's a thing. And the scary one, Sean, or a thought that has become my source. There's a stigma to drug addiction and alcoholism because the consequences are so severe, thank God for me, and we're radical, but it frustrates a lot of people who are drug addicts and alcoholics.

And the reason why it has a stigma is they get frustrated because they actually see their behaviors too, but their relief for pain and suffering is something different. It could be shopping, it could be gambling, it could be work, it could be golf. It can even be service work. That becomes their source and they think that's what defines a money. You know, and power, power is another one. It's a big one. It's a big one there.

So you're so right though. Everyone is addicted, which is a total mind shift, right? Because before when you thought of addiction, it was just negative. Yeah. I mean, you think of the man underneath the bridge or the woman underneath the bridge and you think of a drug addict and alcoholic and a $2 needle junkie. And, you know, that's, that has what's been, you know, that's the stigma and it's, it's not, it's not true. I mean, for me, I mean, the difference between me and the man underneath the bridge is one thing is the bridge. Um, but we are all addicts and that's what I love when I speak and engage

where I see everyone's head doing this because they can relate. Okay. And once again, it's a person place thing or a thought that has become my source. And for me personally, I had to reach for the invisible to fix my visible problems. So you've just shifted your addictions towards more positive ones, right? That's correct.

Yeah. That's correct. And so it's, you know, and I always tell people that when I wake up in the morning and my eyes are open, I'm in full blown relapse, you know, because I'm seeking these visible things. But the great thing about my life today is I recognize the behaviors and you know, my I'm my fiance, if she calls me out on something that she recognizes it, I don't get angry, mad and all that stuff.

I'm grateful that she sees it go, man, you're right. You know, you thank you for checking me because I need to look at what the root of the problem is. You know, because for so many years, I mean, we keep watering the leaves on the tree, wondering why the tree is dying and we have to get to the root of the problem. Absolutely. That's cool. I just met your fiance, wonderful woman.

Yeah, she's amazing. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. Wow. Yeah. How'd you guys meet? We met, you know, three years ago and she's amazing. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. Wow. How'd you guys meet? We met, you know, three years ago and she's a... Kick off an exciting football season with BetMGM, an official Sportsbook partner of the National Football League. Yard after yard, down after down, the Sportsbook, born in Vegas, gives you the chance to take action to the end zone and celebrate every highlight reel play. And as an official sportsbook partner of the NFL, BetMGM is the best place to fuel your

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to hang it all up, you know, I'm not making any money. I mean, I keep serving and serving and serving and helping people. And it was pour me, pour me, pour me a drink. Um, and our paths crossed and she literally looked at me and says, you're a rock star. You're the real deal. And I believe in you and I want to help you. And it was just two humans, you know, working together. And so as we work together, um, we still haven't gone on a date, you know, a chemistry formed

and it's the most incredible relationship I've ever been in. Wow. Yeah. For the first time, I'm not taking a hostage. That's awesome. So you didn't go on a date? Not yet. You know, we never went on a date.

Three years later. It just formed. We've been working so hard the last three years and, you know, we got the book coming out and, you know, in a film and, and so, um, it has been, it has been something else, you know, just flew in from LA to meet you here. So crazy. Yeah. Once that comes out, hopefully you guys can get on a date, man.

Yeah, we need to, we need to go on one. She's behind the scenes and she's the, the voice that's not heard, but, um, wouldn't be here without her. So right now people are addicted to this phone. I talk about that a lot. Like it's bad. Even my screen time, well, granted I'm working on it, but still my screen time is like eight hours a day. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. And so funny you said that because when I speak to prove my point that everyone is an addict,

I have everybody raise their hand who has a cell phone, every hand goes up, right? And when I speak to kids, you know, that you haven't been introduced to drugs or alcohol yet, when I educate them on addiction, you know, they have their phones. And so I educate addiction as a mental obsession. It's what it is. And so can you, and I'll ask you this,

can you go 24 hours without your phone and not think about it? No, not right now. Right, and so that's the mental obsession. And what it is is that it's like every hour it goes by, it's like, okay, I wonder if someone texts me, or like, if someone commented on a post I made, you know, what's going on and all that stuff. And we become literally what's called a dry drunk,

where we're actually just miserable just sitting there because we are mentally obsessed over this visible thing that's got a hold of me. It's bad. Yeah. Yeah. I remember growing up, because I grew up without phones. I didn't get one till high school. And I just feel like now it's really tough to fight it off.

I see the kids growing up now with phones and they're glued. They are and it's scary because, you know, Lee and I were actually talking about this. I'm 55 years old. So I grew up, I remember the rotary phone. I remember it went to a push button phone. And I remember the phone on the wall in order to have privacy, you bought the real long cord so you could walk around. And then the cordless phone came out. And then TV grew into cable and all that is it really morphed and then computers happened. And so I've gotten to see all this grow before my eyes. But I remember as a kid when there was no phone

and everything like that, and you went outside and played and rode your bike without a helmet and see how many people you could jump on your bike. And so I just don't see that anymore today. No, I don't see kids playing outside anymore, which is crazy to me, because that was a big part of my childhood. And I think it's important for kids to play outside and learn that way, dude. Yeah, schools are banning phones, it's pretty crazy.

Yeah, and it's good that they're banning them. Must be tough to be a teacher right now with the attention span so short. It's gotta be tough. I mean, do kids still write in cursive? You know, are kids still being taught to write in cursive? It's useless. Yeah, I mean, so I remember writing,

I have always had really neat handwriting and I remember I'd win the handwriting awards for cursive. And so, you know, this is, the world has really changed and you know, there's still 24 hours in the day and we all had that TikTok attention span, that 13 seconds, you know, and it's sad. It's really sad, man. So for those that don't know your story,

we probably should have started with this, but could you briefly tell people your story? Yeah, I mean, just real quickly, I grew up in a well-to-do home, a wealthy home in Plano, Texas. I grew up in country clubs and I grew up playing golf. Behind closed doors, it was a very physically abusive, you know, family. It was all directed towards me.

It was confusing. Was your dad an alcoholic? No, he wasn't. I've spilt more alcohol, you know, in one day than he's drank in his whole life. And he was still abusive without? Yeah, he was. He was. And he, you know, was a workaholic.

That's, that's, that's what defined him. And then my mom, on the other hand, you know, she came from a very, very broken home, very, very abusive alcoholic family. And, and she has those traits too. And I have to emphasize this is that alcoholism and drug addiction is the only disease that has to be self-diagnosed. So I can't sit here and say, she's an alcoholic, or they're an alcoholic, that's up to them.

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Having someone to talk to is truly a gift, especially during the holidays. Visit betterhelp.com to learn more and save 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com. Self-diagnose it, but she portrayed all the traits of it. So it was very confusing because when we go outside the home and, you know, go to the country clubs, we look like this perfect family. So it was very confusing. And so alongside of that, uh, her father, my grandfather, uh, my entire, uh,

childhood was sexually, uh, abusing me. And so, yeah, and it was, it was really tough and confusing. So I would stuff it and I would keep a secret, but I was real outgoing. I wanted to make everybody laugh. And I was just really driven to always relieve my parents' pain and suffering. I wanted their acceptance.

So I literally, you know, was sent to my room. I grew up in my room. I mean, I literally watched a tree grow. So I had real trauma as a kid. And that's, I love to talk about trauma because that's where addiction comes from. Any sort of addiction is we seek these visible things to try to ease the pain and suffering and the trauma. But I had real trauma. Um, and then once alcohol and drugs came

in my life, you know, I started to feel like everybody around me look, you know, I'm like, wow, I've arrived. Um, and in order to keep that same feeling, I would do more and more and more until I was drinking and using drugs, uh, to feel good about the bad decisions I was making. And now I was creating self-inflicted trauma on top of the trauma, multiple suicide attempts. Um, uh, but you know, you know, tending, you know, I kept it together. I mean, I went straight from, I was a good golfer. You know, the men in the locker room raised me, these wealthy, successful men, golfers, they taught me how to drink.

They taught me how to gamble. Um, taught me how to play golf. And they also taught me how to die. And so, um, went straight from high school to the pro golf tour and kind of for the best golfer in the world at the time, Lanny Watkins, you know, for five years on the PGA tour and got off and got into real estate and home building. And I became one of the most well-known high end luxury home builders in the Dallas Fort Worth area and married a girl from we were best friends since

kindergarten, but she didn't know who I was. I had the, I was in character all the time. No one knew the darkness. You never told her any of this? None of it. Wow. Yeah. And so, you know, I, I just had this darkness and then in 2009, as she had a massive brain hemorrhage and my whole life changed and the families came in, they were fighting over money. Um, and I was scared and then, um, I twisted off and literally, uh, lost everything and you know, in 2011, I got my very first arrest mugshot and I was drunk and high, had a lot of cocaine and, um, I went to a place I said,

Marigold, it's jail, you know, and Dallas, Dallas County jail, the largest jail in the country. Wow. Dallas is the country. Wow. Dallas is the largest. Yeah. Lou Stewart justice center. They house 7,500 people. Holy shit.

Why is it so bad out here? It's just, I don't know. It's just such a large town. And in fact, there's a tower called the north tower and the second floor is called the jungle. And it's one of the most dangerous floors and they misdiagnosed me. You know, they, they categorize you when they arrest you. They put the Chomos together.

They put, you know, the misdemeanors together and the drugs and then the murderers and they put me in that tank. Um, and in that tank, after my, so after my first arrest, you know, I literally say, you know, Sean, man, this, I'm never doing this again. I'm in it. And I got bonded out on a second degree felony and got bonded out, got back to my apartment and I said, you seem to knock the edge off. Remember I said, I was never going to do it again.

That minute I took one sip of alcohol and I was drunk and high again that night. 26 mug shots later, total of 27 mug shots. Um, I finally realized on the 27th mugshot that homeless had nothing living in a stolen suburban behind the bait shop at the lake, you know, you know, alcoholics, we always ended up at the lake for some reason, but, um, the water is calming. Yeah, I guess. But, but so, you know, I ended up there and after my 27th mugshot and

judge Jennifer Bennett, who chased me all over the state of Texas. Oh, you were on the run. I was on the run. Yeah. And so, you know, after my 27th mugshot, May 29th, 2017, I finally realized that God was all I needed because he was all I had. And then I had a spiritual awakening, you know, in prison on July 7th, 2017. As a result,

the 75 year old man, I was in a two man tank, four by nine. We didn't get to move around only like three hours a day. And I'm losing my mind, you know, and they called me rabbit because I couldn't sit still. And this book was given to me. It's called detours by Dr. Tony Evans and Oak Cliff. I didn't know who he was. And this old man asked me to read to him. I'm like, it was so weird. I mean, I'm like, read to you. You know, it's weird.

Now I'm the only white guy in the tank, you know? And so I remind my own business because they thought I was gay or a cop because I'm white and proper, you know? And so- So they put you with all the- All the murderers. All the murderers. I was'm white and proper, you know? And so- So they put you with all the- All the murderers. All the murderers.

I was in the tank with, you know, it's called an aggravated assault tank. So everybody in there, they weren't going home. Holy crap. Yeah. And so- And you couldn't tell anyone? Well, I mean, I knew I was in the wrong tank, okay?

But at the end of the day, I was in the right tank, you know? And so when I started reading to this old man, ooh wee, I started feeling that four days went by and I wasn't anxious or paranoid, freaking out. I started feeling at ease and comfort. And on July 7th, 2017, I woke up in my top bunk and I couldn't breathe, dude. I mean, it's like tightness in my chest.

And I just took this deep breath out and my breath, you know, breathed out all this anger, resentment, and just all this rage is coming out of my body. Like the movie Green Mile. Have you ever seen that? I'm not a movie watcher, but I remember watching that. All the flies come out of his mouth. Same thing. That's what it felt like. And I just felt all this love. I didn't know this feeling. And I'm like looking around and I'm like going, man, I see the guards walking. I'm like, I love that dude. Inside I'm saying it. And I didn't know what feeling. And I'm like looking around, I'm like going, man, I see the guards walking. I'm like, I love that dude inside. I'm saying it.

And I didn't know what was happening, but it was some something happened. And as a result of, you know, me reading to OUI, I was out of self for the very first time I was serving somebody and I was expecting nothing in return. Wow. And then I caught chain, you know, and I went down to central Texas. I was on my way to prison. And on October 30, they put me in the same tank, rock and roll. And when in there, the same thing happened.

The tank starts coming closer together. I was tank boss, you know, and I wasn't this jailhouse preacher. I didn't know what I was reading. I didn't know anything about the Bible or anything like that. I was just learning. So you were just reading to people? I was just reading. they would ask me, and then they saw my handwriting.

I'll write your name when we're done. Yeah, super. It's, yeah. And so people always ask me to write their name. And so I would write their name for them and they'd say, what are you reading? And I would read out of the book detours or, you know, out of the Bible.

And I always said, this is how it's affecting me. I wasn't preachy, you know? Then they asked me to get up and speak at dinner. And so I would read a quote. Wow, interesting. Yeah, so. Holy crap. And I wasn't preaching because I was in this jail house minister.

And so I would say, man, I can really relate to this. This is really helping me, you know? And it created a lot of hope and it helped me. And that's how I started my speaking career, was in prison. Wow. So this is what's cool is on October 13th, 2017, they came over the loud speaker and they said, you know, Michael Moulton bunking junk and everybody's freaking out and like, what's going on?

I'm like, that's gotta be a mistake. Um, and they set me free. Um, and they released me and they literally had to physically push me out of prison. They didn't want you gone. Yeah. And I was 300 miles away and that was the first time when the gas, the world hit me. You know, I just said, okay, God, we've been talking.

And I said, God, what do you want me to do? And just through thoughts and feelings, you just said, walk. So I made the journey 300 miles back to Dallas and turned myself into judge Bennett. And she had heard what I've been doing behind the walls. I'm bald, sunburned. Um, and she says, I don't want to get in the way of it. And, um, she set me free and she says, go pay it forward. And here I am with you today, paying it forward. So you were supposed to go back. Yeah.

I went to turn myself in to, they made a mistake. There was a technicality. I thought, I mean, literally I was having cops run my driver's license number. I hadn't memorized. I didn't have any ID. Um, and they would run it. They said, literally I was having cops run my driver's license number. I had it memorized. I didn't have any ID. And they would run it. They said, you don't have any charges. It was just all wiped. Oh my God. Yeah. So it was just, yeah, that's right. Oh my God. That's what it is. And so, but the, you know, I'm a huge believer in

Jesus Christ. I'm a huge believer in the Bible. It works for me. That's not my platform. You know, I just want to show the world who God is, not tell them, you know, respect. Yeah. Some people are a little too pushy with that. Yeah. I just want to show them. Yeah. Because I remember seeing men when I was growing up, you know, like going, there's just something about that guy. You feel a man walk in, it's a good spirit, energy.

Yeah. I'm with that guy's guy. and that's what I want to be. I love that. Do you still talk to who we, he's still locked up. Oh, he does. Yeah. I don't know his free world name and I don't know, but he, um, God used him, uh, to, um, to, uh, save a lot of people's lives.

And what's interesting is, is when he was a young man walking down the streets of Oak cliff and Dallas, which is South Dallas, Dr. Tony Evans used to pick him up and go to church and he'd be detoxing off heroin. Wow. And that book, you know, crossed our path. That's beautiful, man. I'm a big believer in energy. I think you were just putting out so much good energy that the universe

rewarded you for doing that for real. Well, it was a result of, of true, true surrender and true forgiveness. You know, I truly forgave the ones that had done me wrong. And when you read the book, 300 Miles, and you get finished with it, you're going to see that I'm not demonizing anybody. I look at life today through God's perspective, not the world or the cultures. And I look at stuff like, why did this happen? Why is this happening? You know?

And what's interesting, we just finished proofreading the last chapter of the book, 300 Miles. It was on July 7th, 2024, seven years to the day that I had my awakening. Crazy. Isn't that amazing? Yeah, numbers always fascinating. Yeah, me too.

Seven, seven, like in the Bible, it's the number of completion. Yup. You know, and I believe in that. I do too too. Seven, seven, like in the Bible, it's the number of completion. Yep. And I believe in that. I do too. Wow, 300 miles, how long did that take? Well, that's a story behind the story. You know, I went to-

It's probably in the book. Yeah, I went to parole and I've worked, I walked about 75 miles to the bus station, used my mugshot as an ID to pick up a ticket that a benevolence fund bought for me and got back to Dallas. That is insane, dude. And here we are six years later,

completely sober now, right? Completely sober. Beautiful, beautiful. 27 arrests, were they all drug-related? Yeah, they were drug-related, bond forfeiture, probation violation. I never put hands on anybody, but it was a lot. And I learned so much out of six years,

I was incarcerated four years. Wow. And so, but I learned so much and these people, these wrecked men saved my life. And here's what's interesting, Sean. 100% of the inmates I did time with had little or no relationship with their father. Whoa.

So our crisis today is the missing man. 100% of them. Yeah, you can't argue with that number. Our crisis today is the missing man and it's time for men and fathers to take the dinner table back. You know, to play that role. We have women today that are playing the roles as men. It's tough. It is. So that's my mission and passion of sharing. No, that's so important. I mean, my parents got divorced when I was 10, but not having that father figure, I could

definitely see it affecting me. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Yeah. I went down a very lonely route. I was tough making friends. I didn't even know how to tie a tie.

I didn't know how to do manly things. Yeah. I lacked confidence. Yeah. It's a major thing on a kid. Yeah. I didn't know how to do manly things. Yeah. I lost confidence. Yeah. It's a major thing on a kid. Yeah, but it's our responsibility to not repeat the behavior. Right.

You know, and have that mentor in your life, you know, a man in your life that you look up to and go talk to that man that you've always seen saying, I want what you got. Yeah. So I strive to do that. I'm not perfect, you know. I mess up.

I mess up, but I recognize it and I make my apologies and not repeat the behavior. Yeah. We got to get back to that traditional family. Yeah. Because right now the divorce rates are at an all time high. All time high. You know, if we have a messed up man making his contributions to a messed up family, we got a messed up family. And if that family is making its contribution to the neighborhood, now we've got a neighborhood, church, city, state, country, world. So the solution is it's time for men to become men. It trickles down everywhere. Now because of social media, it trickles down even faster than it used to. Yes it does. And now they're pitting men and women against each other on social media. That's right. And that's why I love what you and I are

doing because we're using social media for the good. Right. You know, to provide hope for the hopeless. Yeah, I hate when, yeah, there's all these shows that debate and stuff, like it's called Red Pill Movement. Yeah. I don't know if you see it, but it's really bad, man. Yeah, creating controversy to create engagement, that's a luxury I don't have.

I'm not a fan of that model. Yeah, it's just too easy. And it's gonna come back on the person creating it to that negative energy that you're putting on. Right. And it's usually an angry person. Yeah. You know, and at the end of the day, I feel for them, you know, and it's, that's why, you know, what I do is it's hard to get engagement and following because we get a lot of views. But as far as engagement, people don't

want to step out there and make a comment because they're too scared that someone might see their name on there going, oh man, they may think I'm this way. No, a hundred percent. I can relate. All my most positive content doesn't get as much engagement as. And here's what's interesting on M2 the Rock. I actually looked at this, you know, people were making assumptions that we had a more

female following. We actually are 65, 45 male females. So we actually have more men following him to the rock than women, but they don't engage. Yep, on the same way. Yeah, 70, 30 men to women, but women engage way more. All the time, yeah. Yeah.

Do you still have emotional control, like issues controlling anger and stuff? I do, I do. I am, when I get angry, when Lee checks me and, you know, holds me accountable, um, I feel old behaviors coming back. I get in fear. So when I get in fear, I get angry, but you know what? 100% of the time when I'm angry of what she's saying, it's because she's right. Wow. It's because she's right. And so I've gotten a, um, and the anger is different. My anger is within. I get quiet, real quiet. Um, but also, you know, what I'm working on too, is when I get

accused of something that I didn't do or say, um, anybody in the world could say it, but if you're in my little bitty, bitty small circle, my circle is very small. You know, uh, if someone were to say something in my circle that accused me of something I didn't know, uh, if someone were to say something in my circle, that accused me of something I didn't do, dude, I can't get out of bed. I mean, it will, I'm better at it. I mean, it just wrecks me. And I try so hard to prove myself, but I have, I'm at peace because I know truth. I know, I know my side of the street is clean and it think, and if I'm wrong,

I'll admit it, but man, I have to work on myself, not to beat myself up with the bad and try feather. Yeah. You know, it's a little better. There's something I've been working on because when my mom would walk into the room when I was going up, my reaction would be to tense up and to argue. So I would take that on on my fiance, even though when she was coming with the best intentions, my immediate reaction is to argue and fight. Right.

And it was tough to get out of that, man. Well, you bring up a good point I talk about, you know, it's fear. You know, and fear is, I mean, the acronym for fear is false evidence appearing real. It's not real. If I don't do anything with that emotion of fear, it turns into resentment. Then it turns into anger, then it turns into rage and then isolation, paranoia. So what's the solution to fear is we talk about it. That's the solution. It's not medication. It's not all this stuff. Definitely not medication. Yeah. So it's, you know, it's, as we talk about it.

Yeah. And as men, we need to be more open in doing that because- Vulnerable. We keep it bottled in. Yes. Being vulnerable, if you're a man watching this and being vulnerable is very attractive to a woman. Being vulnerable is actually being brave. It's okay to say, I feel this way. You know, if I was watching Lee and I were watching a deal with Jay Shetty about, you know, about love and relationships.

Yeah. And if, if, um, you know, if a woman, you know, doesn't like you being vulnerable and honest, it's not the right woman. Yeah. And that's where Lee comes in. She really, really thrives when I'm vulnerable. That's awesome. Yeah, I used to hold back tears.

Me too. And then my dad passed, and that was probably the first time I cried in 10 years maybe. Wow. Yeah, and I just- It's okay to cry. Yeah, I let it out, but even when that happened,

I was trying to fight the tears. I was like, what the hell? Like my dad just died. Yeah, I let it out. But even when that happened, I was like trying to fight the tears. I was like, what the hell? Like my dad just died. You know what I mean? Because we're so programmed to like hold it in. Yeah. Crazy. So I cry at movies now.

You know what I mean? Yeah, same. Now I can tear up at movies. Yeah, so we're allowed to do that. We are allowed to feel. Feeling is okay. Stuffing it, not okay. Because what happens is the more and more I stuffed my feelings in the past, my solution to make those feelings go away is to seek visible things to try to fix this invisible problem.

When the solution is so simple and that's to talk about it. With a trusted source. Absolutely. Yeah, you and Steve-O bonded over that, right? Yeah, we talked. Yeah, absolutely. And, um, he's very vulnerable and, and we really connected. That's why I like his platform a lot. Cause he used to be crazy. Obviously that's what he was known for, but now he is he's completely sober now.

Oh yeah. He's been sober 16, 17 years. And I see him talking about that and it's, it's great message. Yeah. Yeah. He is, he is, but he doesn't wave any flag, you know, neither do I. I don't wave a flag for any support group, you know, anything like that. Um, but, um, you know,

people's anonymity is very important to me. Obviously I'm not anonymous. I mean, my bottom was so low. I mean, you can, you can Google all my lies. And so, but, but I'm okay with that. Was prison your rock bottom moment? It was, I mean, it was, you know, I finally realized, we hear the word rock bottom all the time, you know, and I finally realized that every time I kept hitting rock bottom, I was using my same tools

that got me to rock bottom to get out. I mean, I would use anger, resentment, rage, the come back, I'll show you, you know, the rocky music playing and all this stuff. And I would use, they call it the cycle. You know, we see it coming, Michael, it's a cycle. And, you know, I would use those same tools. This last time I stayed at the bottom, I stayed next to the rock because I realized that all these times that the rock at the bottom for me was God. So I stayed there and I let men like, ooh, we, um, and these prisoners that God used to bring in my life to pull me out. I love it. Did you get any visitors when you were in there?

Not one. Not one, not family, friends, nothing. My last arrest, when I filled out my card, um, I didn't have a cell phone. Like for an emergency contact number and a name, I couldn't write anybody down. Whoa, because they all had given up on you? Yeah, I mean, but my whole life, I never let anybody close. I never had a best friend, okay? And the role I played in that is I didn't seek one.

Wow. I didn't want anybody close to me. I mean, I fought shame from all the sexual abuse. I mean, I, I mean, to this day, I still, you know, before I still locked bathroom doors behind me, even in my own house, and it's these things and, you know, at a men's wall, you're on, you know, if we're from one open or the guy next to it, I have to wait for the, the deal to open. These are little symptoms of, of, of sexual abuse, but I shared that.

And I shared that one time when I was speaking and a guy came up to me crying. And he says, dude, you just talked for me. And little did I know that he was connected to a big wig at securis, uh, technologies, which is government, you know, communication. Um, and as a result of that, they put M2 The Rock on every single tablet and every prison and jail in the country. So this show here will be on it.

And they hear every episode of what we do. And I get thousands of emails weekly from inmates all across the country. Dude, that's so important. Cause as a result of being vulnerable, transparent and forgiveness. So when I look at it through God's perspective, he's using my grandfather, okay,

to speak through me to help other inmates. That's so important. Because these inmates are not gonna admit if they got sexually abused to someone else. That's right. They're not gonna wanna be vulnerable. But to hear it happen to someone, that could give them some faith.

And when I was locked up, me being vulnerable, okay, because it felt good. It put me in the safest place in the world. And that was right here right now, because that's where God's at, you know, and, and being vulnerable, they all started becoming vulnerable. And this, I mean, this rock and roll tank, I mean, I saw a guy get killed in front of me. I saw a guy jump off the second row and hang himself. And then within a month, this tank came together and it was so tight. In fact, when I was released, they were crying. Wow. You know, bangers. I'm talking bangers.

I've never heard of like a community in prison like that. Cause usually there's a lot of conflict in prison. Yep. A lot of conflict. And I saw it, you know, and it was rock and roll, very tense, very tense. Yeah. But it was one of the best experiences of my life. There are days where I miss it. You miss prison? I do, I miss it. And what I miss the most about it is it was just God and I.

I was so spiritually connected because it was all I had. You had no other distraction or anything, right? It's all I had. Wow. There'd be times I'd be in the chow line, Sean, and I would feel my back, right butt cheek vibrate. Being so used to having my phone in my back pocket for so long. It was just weird, but it was, you know,

it was a absolute life changer. Wow, that's great to see, man, because a lot of people in prison end up going back. Oh yeah, they do. I think like over 80%, something crazy. They become institutionalized and it's all they know. And that's what they want too. Cause they're making money off each prisoner.

That's right. So they just see them as a business. That's right. Which is a shame. It's a lot of fear when they get out, they don't have that drive of, you know, getting a job and all of that, but a lot of them do, you know, and those are the ones that are great stories.

Yeah. Yeah. My opinion on them has changed, honestly. I used to like really look down on prisoners. You've got an incredible man in Las Vegas. I'll hook you up with. It's called Hope for Prisoners. He's got an incredible story.

I was on his platform and what he does for prisoners today is unbelievable. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think everyone can really turn things around. Yeah. I mean, look at you. Yeah. And now look at your kids. You show me your kids out there.

Yeah. You know, so proud of, you know, I got four of them. I have two from a previous marriage that I abandoned. Um, and they're back in my life. Wow. You abandoned them. Yeah. I abandoned them.

I was, I left because of my drug use and got away and they're doing great. And I have a son that, you know, from that marriage, that's three, three years clean now and out of the clear blue as a result of him to the rock, watching the show, uh, my daughter reached out to me and said, Hey, you know, um, you know, Brandon really needs some help and I dropped everything. And I went out there, uh, just to listen to him. Wow. Um, and his mom literally said, never in my wildest dreams

that I think that I'll be seeing you, but for the first time I have faith in you and our son needs your help. And so I literally just read to him. And that's what I'm doing today, is reading to people. Dude, that's incredible. So he didn't talk to you for all those years and then. He had a right to.

I have all the people in the world assume me and take me down was their mom. And she did the complete opposite. Damn, how old were they when you left? They were probably, let's see here, I'm guessing seven and five. Yeah, that's when they need you. Yeah, and I lived my whole life after that,

just killing myself. And so when I had my other boys, Hudson and Hogan, I was so focused on not to repeat that behavior. And I was a good father. I love that. But as a result of a really, when Stacey went down and had the brain hemorrhage, her parents came in and basically just wrecked everything. And I haven't spoken to them since. Oh, shit. Yeah. Were your kids or? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so I haven't spoken to him

since, but I'm okay with that because I get to show the world and show them this is what I'm doing today. And dude, I'm not killing it financially. I'm not. I mean, this is, this is full blown. I'm gonna use a church word. This is full blown ministry. Wow. You know, because that's what God told me to do. Walk, and that's what judgment told me to do is go pay it forward. And that's what I do. Every time Sean and I try to quit,

every time, I mean, this like burning bush moment happens where someone will call, I mean, I literally had quit, took all the lights down in my studio and everything like that. And went outside to go for a walk and a white Denali pulls up and they rolled the window down and they go, are you him too? And I said, well, yeah, I'm Michael. And they said, this is my husband here.

You saved his life. He watches your show. Whoa. And I was like, so I went back up and put the studio back together. Wow. And so, and I just remember that God said, you know, hey, I set your bond and I gave Jesus the key

and you put it in the lock and set you free. He says, you gonna mind somebody, you gonna mind me. Dang. And so that's what I'm doing. Crazy. But it's hard. Yeah, no, it is. It takes a lot of faith. Podcasting is not easy.

Yeah, it takes a lot of faith. But with the book coming out and Grishana Lee Perez, incredible writer and we got some great people behind us. Seven years later, we are starting to feel the light and see the light. Here we are. And it's not a train.

Peaks and valleys, that's life. It is, but the valleys is where when we see life through God's perspective, that's where we learn. You know, why did God allow, why would God allow my grandfather to sexually abuse me? Okay. Looking at today through God's perspective, I look at it, it's a gift. It is a gift because I get to share my personal experience and this and forgiveness to help

others like this man who heard it and now it's on all the tablets, right? You know, and all the prisons and jails. And so to be vulnerable like that and to share that provides people hope. Absolutely. They can do it. Yeah. Look at all the lives you're going to save now. And that's not medication. No, definitely not. I think you'll reconnect with your kids one day too. I do too. I believe it. I do too. And people say that all the time and I truly believe it.

The problem is God doesn't wear a watch. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I want what I want when I want it, but I know that I'm powerless. I'm powerless over. Wow. Yeah.

That must be tough on you, man. I'm sorry to hear that. I appreciate it. Yeah, I can't imagine that. Sounds like a tricky situation, geez. I'm grateful. I'm really grateful. You know, we're at, but you know what? Today, we hear the word acceptance and what is complete acceptance and complete acceptance is when I have absolutely no resentments because that's what's killing our human race is resentments. A lot of that. That's what's killing our human race is resentment.

And how do I get over a resentment? Is I accept the role that I play in it. Wait a minute, you played a role in your grandfather sexually abusing you? Absolutely, I did. And the role I played it was I chose to hold on to the resentment. Wow. I chose to hold on to the resentment. Right.

Damn. I don't have any resent the resentment. Right. Damn. I don't have any resentments today. Now the day is not over, but I don't have any resentments today. When I coach people and help people, they say, why don't you have any resentments? I said, oh really?

I said, okay, well write down on a piece of paper, everyone who owes you an apology. And they like, I mean, it's just like tons of people. And I said, there's your resentment list. Yeah, everyone has them. No one owes me an apology. Could be a high school bully, it could be anything. Sure.

I saw my dad live with it his whole life. His father beat him up physically, growing up on a farm in Pennsylvania, and it ate at him, dude, like for real. I can relate. Yeah, I could see him like being affected by it. I can relate, yeah. It's not okay. It's not okay.

It's not okay what they did, but it's my responsibility to change the behavior. Yeah. It's not healthy. I know people want to have like enemies and stuff, but long-term it's just bad for your health. No, they don't even realize it's eating at them. Well, you know, I went to prison. Okay. I got 27 mug shots.

And let me tell you why, because I didn't went to prison, okay. I got 27 mug shots. Let me tell you why. Because I didn't know how to process fear. And it was because of anger and resentment. It wasn't drugs and alcohol. That's just a symptom. You know, and that's why I went. And now that I see it through that perspective, I'm at peace. Wow. Yeah, because the anger and resentment led to the alcohol, right? That's how it worked for you. That's right. You know, I hear people say, I'm a functioning alcoholic.

There's no such thing. Okay. If you have to announce you're a functioning alcoholic, it means you're an alcoholic. You know, it's like being half pregnant. You know, you can't be that. Absolutely. When does the book and you said the film's coming out too?

Yeah, we're working on that. The book will be first. And so the book will be out October, 2024. Um, you know, you get it anywhere and then we'll be doing a book tour across the country and, uh, speaking a tour. And, um, and I'm just, I'm just, I'm like Bernie, we're not movie weekend at Bernie's, you know, I'm like Bernie, they're just going to prop me up and I just talk, you know, and so, and I let, you know, I never never know what I'm gonna say. I just simply go in the bathroom and say,

God put the word to my mouth. Because if I make up a script, everybody's going to prison. We're all going to prison, Sean. So- It's not as good when it's, you could tell when people are given like a PowerPoint slide or whatever. It's not as authentic. Yeah, I don't do that. I can't do that. You gotta feel out the crowd. Yeah, I just go. Yeah, I don't do that. I can't do that. You gotta feel out the crowd. Yeah, I just go. Yeah, I feel out the crowd.

I can speak to anyone about any, I can speak to kids, I can speak to prisoners, and I can speak to corporate America. Yeah. All about self-improvement. I love it, man. What's your advice to parents where their kids are dealing with addictions right now?

Great question, I'm glad you asked that. Is for the parents to get help. What happens Sean is that the parents actually become more sick than the addict. Okay? And their drug of choice is actually the kid. Okay? And they don't realize it, but they start cosigning on their behaviors and they start acting like it. Like I said earlier, they're frustrated because they're seeing their behaviors live on stage. They're just not doing drugs and alcohol. And so they start cosigning on it.

So for them to reach out and find another family that has gone through this, all right, and lean on another family that can relate. So when they talk to that family, that when they're talking to them and then they're listening to the family that has recovered from this, they start doing this. And they start looking at the role that they play in it.

And they start working a program of themselves. A child or a family member that's in active addiction of anything, okay? It's like throwing a hand grenade into a family reunion. The whole family jumps on the hang grenade. Yeah, you know, and so that's where the family has to do and we we we address everybody who reaches out to something to the rock or loved ones. I love that everyone that reached out and it's never the addict, you know, and and when

they do reach out, I don't talk to women, but if it's a man that reaches out and, and I do talk to them, I do this simple thing. I just simply say, why do you drink? Why do you do drugs? Why are you addicted to porn gambling work anger, you know, anger is a drug and all this stuff. Why do you do it? And they start explaining and I cut them off. I said, wrong answer, wrong answer, wrong answer, wrong answer. And I said, you're going to get frustrated with me because no one's ever gotten it right.

And they keep saying it and say it and they finally get frustrated. They go, I don't know. Right answer. That's the right answer. Why do you drink? Why do you do drugs? I don't know. No one taught me that. That's what I remember saying after my 27th mugshot, when I truly

surrendered and I told Judge Bennett, I don't know why I'm doing the things I'm doing, and I'll do whatever you tell me to do. If you send me to prison for 25 years, I'm down. I don't ever want to feel this way ever again. Yes, that's crazy. Why don't you talk to a woman? You said you don't talk to a woman?

I don't, in a program, men work with men and women work with women. And when you have a woman in recovery, we get so much engagement with women. And as I look at it through God's perspective, what they're doing is they're searching for that spiritual leader of the household. They're searching for that father, right? And so they're wounded. And so I can't relate to a woman.

And so women, if we do, we direct them in the right direction. But a woman working with a woman is powerful. You know, I see it with Lee when she works with women and talks to women. I mean, there's conversations that they have that I can't have, you know? And I tell them if I'm on the phone with them, I say, hey, I'm putting you on speakerphone and Lee's here because they're wounded. And for people watching this, you know, they'll tend to go to men and men, you know, will try to be the white knight.

And now you have two sick people getting sick again and they spin off, you know, and go back out. And it's deadly. My dad lost one of his kids to a video game addiction. That's a great topic. Yeah, he played all day for years and they just kept fighting, eventually kicked him out and they never rekindled.

Wow. Yeah, and then he ended up passing away. So they, they never rekindled that relationship. Once again, there's another visible thing. It was a mental obsession. So why was he, why was this person doing video games? The real root of it was, is he was trying to get relief from some sort of trauma, you know, some sort of, you know, the feelings of trauma and suffering and pain. That's why we reach out for these things to get release of that. And so instead of the solution is talking about it. It's real simple, you know, that's why dads, it's so I can't ever sit with my dad and say, hey man, I'm scared. Yeah. Everybody around me is hitting puberty and I'm not, I'm scared.

You know what I mean? I couldn't have those conversations, you know, with them. Um, just didn't happen. And I think parents are also scared to admit to other parents that their kids have some issues, right? Cause every parent thinks they have the best kids and they're scared to. Especially in upper class. I work with a lot of people in the upper class,

high net worth and they wanna keep that image. And their kids end up ODing and dying. Damn. And then the image is out there and then the image is actually tarnished worse. It's like, how long did you know this? Well, we've known it this whole life. Well, why didn't you do anything about it?

Why didn't you talk to us about it? Our son's been clean, our daughter has been clean for 12 years. We could have helped you. And so that's where it is, is to step out there and be vulnerable. Yeah. The pride and the ego gets in the way. That's exactly right. Yeah. But everyone's got their demons they got to battle with, right? That's right.

Like you said, how we started this, everyone's addicted to something. Yeah. And so we hear the deal, you know, spirit, mind and body, you know. When, for me personally, when the spirit, mind and body is out of order, my life is in chaos. Because the spirit feeds my mind and the mind feeds my body. And it's proven because it was always out of order because of the chemicals I was putting.

And when that's in order, this is what you get. You see it, you feel it. If it's out of order and I'm feeding my body with visible things, I'm a wreck. I look like it. I feel like it, you know, it'd be graphic. I mean, if I'm shooting heroin and that is my God, that is my source. The external shows I look horrible, right is my source, the external shows.

I look horrible, I'm ragged out. So when I fill my body with the spirit, and the way I get the spirit is doing this, helping others. When I fill it with the spirit, my mind is sharp, then my mind feeds my body, and I feel better, and I look better. 100% agree, I used to neglect spirit. I used to just chase money and material things, but I never achieved all around success. And it never felt

that whole. Never felt that whole. But these days when I wake up, I feel so fulfilled, dude. It's crazy. And you know, one thing I'll challenge you to do that works really good every night is, or during the day to hit your reset button, just look at one thing, look at your feet, take five deep breaths, because when you look at your feet, that's where you're at. That's what's really happening. Nothing else is happening, all right?

And then make a gratitude list. I do that every morning. There you go, make a gratitude list and it gets you out of self. And it puts you back in the safest place in the world. Like this show we're doing right now, let's just say we've been on here for 40 minutes already, all right?

Have you once thought about the future? No. Have you once thought about the past? No. Have you once got anxious or depressed? No. Because we're in the now. Yeah, we're right here right now.

We're serving each other. This is not about me, It's not about you. It's a connection. It's community. We can do that all the time. Right. You know, so I challenge people that, you know, you get in the dump and you're driving, just text five people expecting nothing in return.

Say, Hey, man, I'm just thinking about you. I really appreciate you. That's it. And what it does, it increases dopamine, but nothing like serving other people. Yeah, Ken Joslin does that to me. He'll send me a video once in a while. I'll be like, wow, I've never gotten that before.

Shout out to Ken Joslin. I mean, he is so awesome. I mean, I remember meeting him. And I mean, he's been the best agent. And that's how I met you. Yeah, he said he prayed for me. I was like, damn, no one's ever done this for me before. Like, I really appreciate you. I'm going to do it.

I really am. I feel a connection. I feel your vibe. You're a really good person. I appreciate that. You too, man. It's just, it's such a good deal. There's a lot of impact that will be made

as a result of this episode. Absolutely. Like the webs of vibes that will be saved and information shared. Absolutely. Can't wait to see the results, dude. Anything else you want to leave the audience with? No, I mean, just share this out for you.

Hit the subscribe button for Sean. Hopefully your book's out too by the time this airs. Yeah, October 20, 2024 will be out. Our website is M2, the number two, the rock, ROCK.com. And just go right there and you can follow us everywhere. We'll link below. Thanks for coming on. And thank you so much. Thanks for watching guys. That was an amazing episode and I will see you guys tomorrow.