Digital Social Hour - How I 5X My Salary in 18 Months – You Can Too! | Jamie Hess DSH #589

Starting point is 00:00:00 You have worked so hard to make your business into a reality, but achieving your next business goal, that can be overwhelming. What if you had someone to talk through the options and the next steps with? Someone who wants to see your business succeed while giving you peace of mind. That's why the bankers at Merchants Bank are here, ready with exceptional service every step of the way. Let's dream together. Visit merchantsbank.com to get started.

Starting point is 00:00:22 Merchants Bank is a proud member of FDIC. So I take that same best in class strategy and that's how I run my Instagram and that's why it's been so highly monetized. And now I'm teaching other people to do that too. Great advice. Because too many people focus on the followers, but they're kind of irrelevant these days. It's mainly your engagement and what you can bring outside of the post. Wherever you guys are watching this show,

Starting point is 00:00:58 I would truly appreciate it if you follow or subscribe. It helps a lot with the algorithm. It helps us get bigger and better guests and it helps us grow the team. Truly means a lot. Thank you guys for supporting and here's the episode. All right, guys, from PA, we got Jamie Hess here today. Thanks for flying in. Thanks for having me. Love the fit. Thanks for, thank you.

Starting point is 00:01:18 Man. I'm feeling a little fresh. You know, it's my Vegas look. Yeah, you're fashionable. Thank you. I wish I could get on your level. You know what? I'm a New Yorker that now lives in the country in Pennsylvania. So I still have my New York sense about me. I didn't lose it just because I am living in, we were just talking about it, like fox hunting country. I live in an Andrew Wyeth painting. I literally live in the most

Starting point is 00:01:40 bucolic, beautiful place, but I'm a New Yorker at heart. That's a big change because you went from media spotlight to off the grid kind of. Ish. So I was a publicist in New York City for 20 years and then that launched my career into being a media personality. But one of my jobs is on the air at QVC. And QVC, of course, if you know what that is, it's like the big home shopping channel. They're headquartered in Pennsylvania. So that's actually why we moved there. So I was closer to the studio because qvc is crazy they'll have me on at like two in the morning sometimes you're on at noon sometimes you're on at 7 a.m but sometimes it's like a 2 a.m show damn and so i was commuting back and forth from new york and finally we just said should we just go live there yeah that's what we did i didn't know they were in pa wow yeah it's kind of random right i thought

Starting point is 00:02:20 they'd be in like new york or la you would think that but i'm only like i kind of feel like i found a wrinkle in time and space because i only live an hour and a half by train from new york so i get so much more space and this really kind of nice quiet life for me and my kids and my husband but i can still get into the city when i love that did you do anything with laurie you know what our paths haven't crossed at you your paths don't cross with other people on the show as much as you would think they do okay i am the face of Zuta, which is their activewear brand. So it's kind of like their Lululemon or their Athleta. So because I have a background in the wellness space, they hired me as the talent for that brand.

Starting point is 00:02:54 So I'm very much siloed to what I do, but I do love what I do. Yeah, it's really fun. Talk to me about that wellness journey. Was there a specific moment that got you down that path? So, funny story. This is always my mic drop moment because people kind of look at me now and they're like, oh, I wouldn't think that.

Starting point is 00:03:08 But I was a really sick and suffering drug addict in my teens and 20s. And to back us up even one step before that, Sean, the irony in that is my mom is TV journalist Joan Lunden. So I mentioned that because it is a little extra surprising to people. My mom was like America's mom. She was like waving the American flag and apple pie.

Starting point is 00:03:29 She was like just this really kind of pure celebrity that America kind of looked to as this icon. And you wouldn't think that her daughter would have gone down this really dark path of drug addiction. But I honestly think that it was because I looked up to her so much and I just almost thought like, I don't know if I could ever really live up to that. As a teenager, I remember being like, wow, my mom is so idolized and so perfect that it seems really overwhelming and a little bit unattainable. And I just kind of like that kind of, I took a hard left. I took a hard left. And so I ended up in this really dark path of drug addiction.

Starting point is 00:04:08 In getting sober, what happened for me was I found a blueprint for living. And that has a lot to do with spirituality and gratitude. And so I've used that as the underpinning for the rest of my success. It spurred me going forward. So even while I was a publicist, I had this Instagram account called NYC Fit Fam, where I was sharing my fitness and wellness journey with the world that took off. So while I had this big job where I was representing brands like McDonald's and General Motors and LinkedIn, I was also this burgeoning health and wellness influencer, which was funny because I was literally running the book of business on McDonald's. Now I love McDonald's as a brand, iconic American brand. I wasn't necessarily their core consumer, but I'll

Starting point is 00:04:48 always love them like from a marketing standpoint. But I kind of felt like I had to pick a lane. I was like, you are the marketer for McDonald's and you're this burgeoning health and wellness influencer. And I was like, it's time to leave this corporate life and go be an entrepreneur as a wellness and mindset-focused content creator. And that's what I did. Wow. So were you anonymous on NYC Fit Fam? I was not. I was very clear about who I was and it kind of came up as a little problematic sometimes. Like the client would be like, oh, interesting. What are you doing? Like the McDonald's client or other clients would be like, and I'll say this, I feel that being an executive

Starting point is 00:05:22 will always kind of undermine you as talent and vice versa. So it's very hard to hold an executive job. Hey, Prime members, are you tired of ads interfering with your favorite podcasts? Good news. With Amazon Music, you have access to the largest catalog of ad-free top podcasts included with your prime membership to start listening, download the Amazon music app for free or go to amazon.com slash ad free podcasts. That's amazon.com slash ad free podcasts to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads and be in the boardroom, but also be like front and center as talent.

Starting point is 00:06:00 So when I left and I told my mom who, you know, my mom is my mom. She's old fashioned. She's from a different era. I said, mom, I'm leaving this, you know, six figure paying health benefit having job to go be a content creator. She was like, are you out of your ever loving mind? And I said, mom, with all due respect, I think it's going to work. And Sean, I'm so grateful I did because what ended up happening was in 18 months, I had five X my salary from that job. Wow. And I've never looked back. And so what I do today is I am still a wellness and mindset expert. I

Starting point is 00:06:31 speak on stages across the country on this idea of gratitude and mindset and really kind of fueling your happiness through all of the right things. But then also concurrently, I help people work with brands and create a lifestyle in the same way I have. I call myself the brand ninja because I really take my almost 20 years as a PR executive for the biggest brands in the world. And I mix that with my job as a modern day content creator. And then I pay it forward. I teach other people how to do it. Wow.

Starting point is 00:06:57 What a story. You probably had to put out some fires as a PR person of those companies. You know what I did? I was more doing the fun stuff for them, like the experiential. So like, for instance, we were throwing the coolest party at Coachella or like the hottest lounge at Sundance versus like crisis control. So it was actually really, really fun. And I will say that is what taught me every bit of how I do what I do today. So when I tell people, oh, I make five to six figures a month as a content creator and you can too, they're like, how? And I'm like, it's not all about the number at the top of your Instagram or your TikTok. I'm going to show you how to do it using all sorts of things that would be interesting to brands, like leveraging your network and your

Starting point is 00:07:32 core capabilities and your skillset. So that's what I do for Brands Today. I kind of look at all of my brand deals as an Instagram influencer in the same way I would have run a campaign for McDonald's. So I take that same best in class strategy and that's how I run my Instagram. And that's why it's been so highly monetized. And now I'm teaching other people to do that too. Great advice because too many people focus on the followers, but they're kind of irrelevant these days. It's mainly your engagement and what you can bring outside of the post. Are you interested in coming on the Digital Social Hour podcast as a guest? Well, click the application link below in the description of this video.

Starting point is 00:08:02 We are always looking for cool stories, cool entrepreneurs to talk to you about business and life. Click the application link below, and here's the episode, guys. 100%, and if you're not thinking like red thread full circle, what else can I be doing for a brand, right? So I'll give you an example. Here I am. I'm out here in Vegas seeing you, right? I look at my life as a movie. Every moment is an opportunity for product placement. And I say that not in a way to exploit my life, like not like what can I get from brands? What money can I, it's like, what can I give? Okay, I'm going on an airplane.

Starting point is 00:08:32 I'm gonna be away from my kids for a few days. I'm doing this podcast interview. What brand might I be able to serve by integrating them into that part of my content? Maybe I can make an introduction. Maybe I'm seeing some influential people and I can bring them on site. What else can I do for the brand? And so that's really what I'm teaching in this Brand Ninja course is like, I want people to understand that it's not just about

Starting point is 00:08:53 doing a post and being so transactional. You are a whole ass person. Show up and use that for brands. And then it's like a give and take. And then brands want to come back and work with you again and again. Powerful. Which platforms are you kind of focusing on at the moment? Instagram is my main platform. That's where I like to focus my energy. But like I said, for me, I look at my content as jumping off of Instagram into IRL, right? So Instagram is where I'll post. But I will shepherd a brand's experience in all sorts of different areas of my life.

Starting point is 00:09:23 I'll create experiential moments. I'll create opportunities for, you know, amplification and awareness, and I'll bring them on site to events that I'm doing. So I think there's just a lot of new ways to think about the 4D experience of brand ambassadorship. Yeah. You're willing to go the extra step with your sponsors, which I think is long-term business, right? Because rather than they just pay you to show up on your feed, that's not long-term. It's not long-term. And so really also like it parlays into this whole idea of gratitudeology, which is the name of my podcast. It is the name of what I, is the focus of what I speak about on stage. Showing up with an attitude of gratitude of what can I bring to the table of

Starting point is 00:10:00 how can I serve? That's what I learned in my early days in recovery. And it's been the underpinning of everything that I do ever since. So I'll give you like an example. So Gratitudology, right? Name of my podcast. I've been traversing the country interviewing some of the top celebrities, thought leaders, eight and nine figure entrepreneurs that exist in America. And I go and I interview each of them on site. What I'm interviewing them about is what is that moment that you flip the switch and you started seeing life through a lens of gratitude. Everybody has their why story. We all have it. For me, it was addiction. I almost died. I didn't, I always say like, I didn't wake up until I almost died. That's when I started seeing

Starting point is 00:10:39 life different, but I interviewed all different people, you know, Teddy Mellencamp, a star from the Real Housewives. Everything was great. And then she got skin cancer, 13 skin cancers, almost died. Totally changed her perspective. David Meltzer, right? You know, obviously, David, very well. Amazing, you know, entrepreneur, CEO of Samsung, and then has to declare bankruptcy, but looks at it as the best thing that ever happened because it taught him so much. So I interview all these people and I get to tell these stories.

Starting point is 00:11:03 Now, in the context of doing that, I can go back and I can say to my brands, look, the world's a dumpster fire. It's a very difficult time. Who wants to be the hero of this narrative? I am helping the world see life through a new lens, like a critical shift in perspective to see things from everything being very dark to seeing things through a lens of gratitude. What brand wants to be a part of that journey? Because I would love to bring you on that journey with me on this adventure and tell that story. You're showing up in a different way. Do you see how that feels different rather than saying like, do you want to sponsor my podcast? It's like, let's partner together and bring a new way of thinking to America. Absolutely. I love that. Gratitude is everything for me. Every day I wake up, write down five to 10 things I'm grateful for. Do you do that? Yeah, I've done that for two, three years straight. So David Meltzer always says this, the simplest things to do are also the

Starting point is 00:11:52 simplest things to skip. And so I find that everybody knows they should be doing a gratitude list, but how many people really do it? And the reality is the actual gratitude, like the intuitive gratitude button that you want to program in your head where you just start seeing things more gratefully, that's a practice. That's an exercise. You actually have to do the work like what you're doing, making that gratitude list in order for that to work

Starting point is 00:12:15 and to become an intuitive part of the mind. So I always say, if you literally just do the bare minimum, you write down those three things that you're grateful for, you're not only changing your perspective, you are lowering your diastolic blood pressure. You are reducing cortisol. You are initiating your parasympathetic nervous system. Like gratitude literally changes the game as it pertains to your physical being. Wow.

Starting point is 00:12:38 So that's why I'm telling these stories on the Gratitudology podcast is because I don't just want to tell great stories, although I love storytelling. I really want people to wake up and be able to approach their day differently because the world is hard enough. Now, you mentioned you felt a lot of pressure from your mother being the daughter of Joan London. Did she want you to follow in her footsteps and have her job? No. My mom actually thinks my sisters and I are nuts that any of us went into entertainment, and we did. I think my mom is just the most down to earth person that you've ever known. But I do think that's why we all grew up with like just a good sense of self. I mean,

Starting point is 00:13:11 yes, I felt like the normal imposter syndrome and inferiority complex of a kid that is a child of a celebrity. But my mom didn't do that to me. Right. That was my own interpretation of who she was. But she's so down to earth. She's so cool. And she just wants us to do whatever we can do to be happy and to make a good contribution to this planet. And to be honest, I think the thing she's most proud of us all for is just being like good moms to our kids and showing up and doing the right thing. Was she working crazy hours? Like was she present with you guys growing up?

Starting point is 00:13:40 So my mom worked. She had to get up every day at a quarter to four. She had to go into the studio for hair and makeup. And she hosted Good Morning America from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. every day. And then she would have some meetings and stuff. But it actually allowed her to be home in the afternoons. So people think that, like, I never saw my mom. My mom was actually at every one.

Starting point is 00:13:57 I'm a horseback rider. She was at every one of my horseback riding lessons and competitions. She was at every school thing, you know, within reason. And if she couldn't be there, we understood. It was because mom had an important job and work matters too. And that's what I want to teach to my kids. My kids will never hear me say, I have to go to work. They will hear me say, I get to go to work. I get to show up. And that's very important to me. That's a great mindset shift because people dread work these days. Yeah. Well, maybe they're in the wrong line of work. So that's another thing that I really help people do because I truly feel that

Starting point is 00:14:28 by changing your mindset, by being able to wake up every day and be grateful for what it is that you're doing, you are able to earn more stress less and just be a better contributor to this planet, to the energy that you take up on this earth. So that's why I try to help people honestly get out of, if they are tired of like the corporate drawl of being attached to a desk and they want to be like solopreneurs or side hustlers that earn six and seven figures, there's a way to do that. And that's really why I started doing what I was doing. To be honest, Sean, people for years, while I was a wellness coach, they were saying, why don't you just teach people like how to be an influencer? Like that's what people want to learn. And I was like, that sounds so, can I curse on this podcast? I was

Starting point is 00:15:07 like, that sounds so fucking lame to me. I don't want to teach people how to be an influencer, how to take a picture of an acai bowl and say, oh, now I'm a wellness influencer. Like why? What background do you have to be an expert in health? However, what I finally realized is that's not what I'm teaching. What I'm teaching is the unique intersection of my history as a publicist for almost 20 years and my acumen as a modern day content creator and my promise to my brands that I show up with like true brand ambassadorship because I study the brand, I know the brand

Starting point is 00:15:39 and I come to it with a different mindset. That's why I am so successful and that's why I make the money I do with the brands that I work with. And so that's what I teach going forward. Like I teach people to get out of, if you're miserable at your job, I bet you, I can help you find a way out of that, but you gotta be willing to show up with like a beginner's mind and you gotta be willing to learn and apply these tactics. Yeah. So that mindset, like victim mentality is everywhere these days. Is that something you struggled with at first too? So I would say, okay, I had a victim mentality when I was literally a victim of myself,

Starting point is 00:16:11 when I was in my addiction, when I was in the darkness. Once I realized that this gratitude mindset is a practice. And if you stay in your practice, if you do it as an exercise, you don't feel that victim mentality anymore. Because I wake up with an attitude of gratitude, which I believe is a heartbeat of happiness. I wake up with confidence because to be honest, I drink my own Kool-Aid. I know, I know the hype is real. Like I know that when I say I make five and six figures a month with these brand deals, I do like, I'll show you my PNL and I come to my courses that I teach with the receipts. I'm like, here's a deal memo. Here's the pitch deck. Here's what I do. And I drink my Kool-Aid because it's good Kool-Aid. It works.

Starting point is 00:16:46 And so I believe it. So I don't really have a victim mentality. I don't have imposter syndrome anymore because I show up and I do the work to have confidence that I deserve, that I can sit in. And that's also really what I teach. It is 90% a mindset game. If you were getting on the phone with these brands and you're like, oh, pick me, pick me, they smell that a mile away.

Starting point is 00:17:04 But if you get on the phone with anybody you're trying to work with and you're like, I, pick me, pick me. They smell that a mile away. But if you get on the phone with anybody you're trying to work with and you're like, I've got this and I've got you, let me tell you how. And you're prepared with that strategy, you're going to win every single time. Yeah. I'm going to have to hire you to do my brand deals. I got you. I got some big companies hitting me off lately. Yeah. Well, you should. You should. I mean, and here's the thing. I teach people who have a fraction of the following of yours to be able to monetize in big ways. And the reason is because even brands need to be educated.

Starting point is 00:17:32 It shouldn't be all about the number at the top of your Instagram. That's one metric. Yeah. But there's so much more that you bring to the table. So you need to step back and have someone like me educate you on what is the totality of what I could offer as far as deliverables. And that's why I call myself the brand ninja. It's actually a skill set.

Starting point is 00:17:49 And I actually learned it from two decades as a publicist. It didn't just like magically, I didn't just magically figure it out. I was the one writing the influencer briefs for brands like McDonald's and General Motors and LinkedIn. So it was very easy for me to parlay that into a successful job as a content creator because I was just flipping to the other side. Yeah, that's brilliant. Were you part of those McDonald's campaigns with celebrities? Yeah, that's literally what we did. Dude, that blew up. Yeah, it did blow up. Well done. And you know what? So many of the celebrities, I gotta say this. So many of the celebrities that we work with have a bad rap. And I gotta tell you, like,

Starting point is 00:18:27 so many of these celebrities, they really show up. And similar to me, they show up with the spirit of giving. Like Kardashians are a great example. Kardashians get such a bad rap. They are the most amazing family. They show up. They are so kind. They are so professional on set.

Starting point is 00:18:42 They do what they're doing because they know what the hell they're doing. And if they sign on to represent a brand, they come correct. Right. And so I, that's really what I want to teach people is to have that mentality where you were showing up to do your best work. And the celebrities that we ended up working with at McDonald's again and again and again, were celebrities that showed up and just like, they loved on that brand. And those celebrities would get that McDonald's business time after time because they deserved it. They earned it. And so I really got the framework of how to do it by watching the template of those big brand deals that we orchestrated. And then I just cut and paste, cut and paste, cut and paste. And that's how I've been able to show up in my own brand.

Starting point is 00:19:18 I love that. Yeah, because you're generating millions for yourself and you don't even have millions of followers. That's right. So usually it's the other way around, right? Yeah. I mean, I have 200,000 followers, which is great, but I also know that that's not all I have to offer, right? So I'll give you an example.

Starting point is 00:19:31 During COVID, I had moved to a new neighborhood and I wanted to do a little event to get my neighbors together. And I was like, okay, all right, how am I gonna do this? So I ended up inviting a bunch of my neighbors to do this like outdoor workout because working out is kind of my wheelhouse. I was like, all right, how can I make this a little bigger? So I invited a friend that was a celebrity trainer from New York to come down. It was like

Starting point is 00:19:53 two hours. He's like, yeah, sure. I'll come teach it. I was like, great. So now I have like a celebrity trainer and I have kind of my Instagram and I'm inviting some cool people from my neighborhood. And I know some of them have a following. I was like, what brands, what brands want to be the hero of this message? Like we are getting people together during COVID even, you know, we're going to be safe. We're going to measure between the mats, but we're going to do this thing. And I'm going to give out gift bags and we're going to have a spirit of like an experiential moment. We're going to get together IRL because this is what people are craving. And I went out and I pitched that to brands and I was like, you can be the hero of

Starting point is 00:20:22 this. And all of a sudden I created not just a post for them to be a part of, but I created an experience. I created a moment. I created a gifting opportunity on site. I created the concentric halo effect because I had that celebrity trainer. And now I have a few other people from my neighborhood that I'm going to invite that have, you know, little followings. Or maybe they don't. Maybe their husband is the buyer for, you know, the e-com director for Nike. I did my due diligence, right?

Starting point is 00:20:46 I know who's in my sphere and I know how I can leverage that. This is a great example. Sean, you have this every single day. You have people in here. You have eyeballs. You have all of these different moments that you could be monetizing and leveraging that you probably don't even realize. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:59 There's a lot I could be doing. Yeah. If I can monetize to the tune of $40,000, $50,000, a little workout class in my backyard during COVID, imagine what you could do. Yeah. We're going to talk after this. I mean, I got some sponsors, but there's definitely some, some ways to integrate brands better, I think. Cause the quality of the guests I have on too is really unique. I'd say. I would say, I don't know that I've ever seen a podcast with more unique guests than yours and they're so far ranging, right? Like

Starting point is 00:21:25 they just cover every different, like different, like anything you can think of the universe. But the point is like, I call myself a brand ninja because when you think about a ninja, they're finding all of the little secret ways to kind of get into the cracks and crevices to make value. And that's, that's what I come here to do. I love it. I want to talk about your husband, legendary music promoter. How'd you guys meet? We were set up on a blind date by a mutual friend of ours. Her name is Tracy Young. She's a famous DJ. And she, it's really funny because she is like a DJ darling in the gay club scene. And that was something I was very much a part of. I mean, I'm a straight female, but I always worked in gay nightlife. I was the PR rep for a lot of gay clubs.

Starting point is 00:22:04 And those are just some of the, if you've ever been in that, maybe not you, I'm talking to your listeners. It's, they're some of the most fun parties that you'll ever go to. I have heard that actually, I'm not going to lie. So that was always my world. So Tracy being a darling of the gay club scene, and she's like a remixer for Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Madonna, like very much in kind of that niche. So when she said, I have a guy for you, I was like, do you now? I was like, and he's straight. And so he kind of ended up saying the same thing, which he said, I'm going to set you guys up on a date.

Starting point is 00:22:32 And lo and behold, and we ended up going out on one blind date and we literally haven't been apart in like 12 years. So you didn't know what he looks like going into the date. I mean, I'd done a little bit of Googling, but the funny thing was he was rather un-Google-able when we first met, but I fixed that real fast. Now he's real, he's real findable. Nice. Wow. Blind dates. Never would have thought those would work.

Starting point is 00:22:52 But here's the thing, Sean, is that when we first went out, so on our first date, we put it out all out on the table. I was like, I'm a sober, like massive drug addict in recovery. Like, here's my backstory. He was like, great. I've, you know, and like been divorced. I have grown kids, like put his story out on the table. We're very honest.

Starting point is 00:23:10 And I believe in like, just showing your vulnerability right off the bat. Yeah. I just like, this is part of the gratitude thing. Just be grateful for all the parts of you. Right. I'm not ashamed.

Starting point is 00:23:20 I'm not hiding any part of it. They're all the parts of my personal portfolio that make me. And so after that first date, I've only ever seen him have one drink and it was on our third date. And after our third date, he said, can I come to one of those recovery meetings with you? I'd like to see what it's about. I was obviously sober at that point. I was just about to celebrate four years. He came to that recovery meeting with me. And what happened was in that hour, he heard the speaker who was sharing that day. And the speaker said so much stuff that he identified with. And he was like, oh, shit, I think I belong here, too. Wow. He's worked 20 years in the music industry, represented some of the biggest names, legends in music. And after being 20 years in the music industry, he's like, you know what? I think I think I should be getting sober because of that, because we've been sober together in a relationship for 12 years, the conversations around gratitude, around mindset, around positivity and

Starting point is 00:24:12 positive energy being the currency of the future, that is our everyday dialogue in our house. And I really believe that that is the fuel to the fire of our relationship and why we've been so successful. That is so cool. So the first date you were telling him about all the addiction stuff. I told him about all the dark stuff on the first date. And by the fourth date, we were getting sober together and we've been on that journey ever since. Wow. Cause I would scare a lot of people off, I think, but I love your openness. Yeah. Well that's honestly, so as a speaker on stage, when I speak about gratitudeology, I lead that message. Like I believe in making your mess, your message, but only once you've healed.

Starting point is 00:24:43 So I just get right out there and I'm like, Hey, here's the thing. No one ever expected me to be a drug addict, but here we are. And this was the beginning of my story. But by, by having that happen,

Starting point is 00:24:52 it opened up the greatest doors for me as far as what I learned, what I'm able to teach. And also when you've almost died, because let's be clear, I did. Okay. When you've almost died and you've been to the darkest places, you see the light that much brighter. And every day to this day, when I wake up and I'm over 20

Starting point is 00:25:10 years sober, I'm just happy to be here because it didn't have to go down like that. And so my husband and I look like every day, we elbow each other and we're like, can you believe this is our life? It's such a beautiful life and we're so grateful and we're so happy. And he helps me so much with the gratitudeology stuff that I do because we're on this beam together. But we also geek out on business together. I help him with all his business stuff. I've helped a lot of his clients with their PR and stuff. So I think it really helps to be on the same geekiness level about the stuff that you're geeking out on. I love that. I think your podcast is so needed. I can't wait to see where you take it. Thank you. My podcast, you know, the Gratitudeology podcast is something that

Starting point is 00:25:47 had been in my mind's eye for years. And the reason that I love doing it so much is because I'm not just doing chat show format interviews. For that one, I'm going deep dive storytelling. So I interview the people and then I come back and I do like a couple months of post-production. I record narration. I do sound design. So by the time you listen to it, it's like you're listening to an audio book. You're being taken on a journey of this person's story because I think we all like to learn something, but we also like all like to be entertained. And so that's what I tried to do. For sure. And they say storytelling, you actually remember it a lot better than just definitions. People will remember like, you know,

Starting point is 00:26:23 10% of what, you know, what you made them think, but they'll remember like 100% of what you made them feel. And so that's how I try to. You're tying emotions. Did you learn that from your mom? Definitely. Storytelling is always key, right? And that's really what I've learned as far as also being a great keynote speaker, right?

Starting point is 00:26:38 Like nobody wants you to get on the stage and go through a deck and talk about like slides of graphs and numbers. It's so boring. But if you're able to tell them a story of how this worked in your life, they're listening. Yeah. A hundred percent. When I see someone pull up with a presentation, I'm going backstage, I'm going on my phone. Right. You're bored. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you and I met backstage at Aspire and so many of the speakers at Aspire, like Tim Story and David Meltzer and all of these people, like that's why we are so inspired

Starting point is 00:27:05 by them, right? Like they have nailed their why story and then they've used that to parlay this message of hope and inspiration. And that's why I interview so many people like them. Both of them have been on my podcast and I interview so many great keynote speakers because once you've learned how to tell your story in a way that lands, like you tell that moment where everything's shifted, that pivot point, and then you're like, and here's what it looks like on the other side. And there's that hope and inspiration because people can see themselves in that story.

Starting point is 00:27:31 Then you're touching a nerve. Yeah, I love going to events, conferences like that because you realize there's a lot more to life than just making money. There's a lot more to life than making money. And here's the thing, success does not equal happiness. Happiness brings success, right? Because I grew up with some of the richest people in the world.

Starting point is 00:27:49 I'm a horseback rider. I grew up in like a wealthy area of Greenwich, Connecticut. I hate to say it, but some of the wealthiest mofos that I've ever known are the most miserable people I've ever been exposed to. And I'm so sad for them. I just had dinner with somebody the other night in Los Angeles and I felt so bad for her. Honestly, she is a very, very wealthy human and was married to a very, very famous person. And we're sitting having this dinner and I'm like, oh my God,

Starting point is 00:28:15 she's so fundamentally sad. And I was like, she, and I said, she said, I love what you're doing with gratitude ology. I wish I had any of that in my life. I said, what do you mean? She's like, I just don't, I don't have that. I don't get it. Like, I'm not grateful. And I'm like, well, that's your problem, babe. That's your problem. Once you wake up every day with a sense of gratitude in your heart, it's just all like everything's gravy.

Starting point is 00:28:37 And my husband and I say this, like we've been together 12 years, right? But when we started, we lived in a studio apartment, me, him and my dog. And, you know, he worked from home. So it was like tight quarters. And we've been on the come up together. And now we've definitely moved on up from that studio apartment to say the least. We live a very nice life now. But if all of the material stuff went away tomorrow, and we ended up back in that studio apartment, we would be just as happy. And then that is what matters, right? Like we would build it all back. But because we're happy, that is the is what matters, right? Like we would build it all back, but because we're happy, that is the bedrock.

Starting point is 00:29:08 That's the firm foundation to build a life off of. Facts, I love that. Yeah, that's why I love going to events like that because everyone backstage there has millions, tens of millions, but the purpose aspect of it, why are they even speaking on stage to people? That's what intrigues me.

Starting point is 00:29:22 Absolutely. And just like the giving back as well, right? Like there's so many people there who are so philanthropic and you hear so often like nice guys finish last. Yeah. And I keep bringing this question up in my podcast. I'm like, yeah, they say nice guys finish last, but like you're living, walking evidence that they, that's not true.

Starting point is 00:29:39 I'm like, so tell me about that. And I'll talk to like a David Meltzer or a Tim story, like some of the nicest guys you've ever met and they're winning at life at Eric Rock right like when you and I met Eric Rock was giving a $200,000 check on stage right and I was like he's one of the nicest sweethearts you'll ever meet and he's so successful and I think that old trope is just dying like nice guys don't finish last nice guys can finish first. You got to have strategy. You got to be a good listener and learner, right? We learn from each other. When you're backstage, you see people really talking and listening and wanting to be open

Starting point is 00:30:13 minded and open vessels, like pour into me, teach me. Those are the people that are going to rise and turn out on top. Yeah, I agree. They used to always say that in high school with nice guys finishing last with girls. You know, girls don't like nice guys. You know what? Wounded girls don't like nice guys. And when I was wounded,

Starting point is 00:30:31 when I was in my addiction, I definitely dated a lot of assholes. When I, my husband and I say this all the time. I actually got this from Dr. Phil. Ready for a Dr. Phil nugget I'm going to drop on you. Relationships aren't 50-50, they're 100-100. And so when my husband and I met, we had both gotten to a place where we had done enough of the personal development work that we were both 100. When my friend tried to set me up, she goes,

Starting point is 00:30:55 why don't you have a boyfriend? I said, because I'm happy and I'm not looking for someone to mess that up. And she was like, okay. And I was like, all right, I'll meet your friend. But the point was I didn't come from a place of lack. I didn't need somebody to complete me. I was happy. I was doing my own thing. I had a successful job. I was going to the gym every day.

Starting point is 00:31:11 I was good. And so I met him at a point where for the first time I was not like a wounded little bird. I was good. And so the two of us were able to just come together and build this empire and this life together from a much better foundation than if both of us were like, I need you. I need you. Are you cheating? What's happening? That's, that's when you end up dating other wounded birds. Right. A lot of people don't put in that self-work before they start dating. Most people don't. Most people don't. And the cool thing is, is if you can, you know, link up with someone like I did, uh, where you're both doing the work together in

Starting point is 00:31:41 real time, because that's also part of why we're successful as a couple. We look at each other. So in the recovery program that I'm a part of, you know, you kind of let other people have their character defects. You're like, hey, you know what? I'm a sick and suffering human. You're a sick and suffering human.

Starting point is 00:31:56 I can just let you be. I'm not perfect. I don't have to pick on you to be perfect. We can just like let each other be. But you also, you take accountability, right? So like if I screw up if i'm a bitch look i have my moments right we all do but i'll turn around and be like hey i'm sorry i came at you like that and vice versa so when you're coming to each other from that place where it's

Starting point is 00:32:14 not like i gotta prove myself i gotta get the last word in and you're just you're just acting from a much more evolved place of humanity the relationship works so much better. Accountability is so huge for me. Like when I have friends or business partners, if you can't own up to your mistakes, I cut them off because it's just so toxic. Yeah. But like, that's why it's cool to be vulnerable. Right. So like, I keep using the David Meltzer example, but look at him. He's like the first one to be like, I screwed up. I filed for bankruptcy. And then here's what I did next. Right. It's like the first one to be like, I screwed up. I filed for bankruptcy. And then here's what I did next, right? It's like, we all make mistakes. Anybody who tells you they're perfect is, first of all, that's not even on trend anymore. Nobody wants to see like a polished, varnished

Starting point is 00:32:56 version of people anymore. That's like super boring. We're much more into like that real deal image. So it's okay. Like you're not going to run your business perfect. You're not going to run your life perfect. Your relationship is not going to be perfect. It's almost like the gratitude piece, being grateful for even just realizing, hey, I'm a human. And I say this all the time, Sean, like it's easy to be grateful for the parts that are great, right? Like I wake up every morning and I'm like, wow, I'm really grateful for this beautiful house I moved into. I'm really grateful for my good relationship with my husband. It's harder to learn to love the parts that suck. So like when I wake up and I'm like, wow, I'm having this one piece of my business that's like, you know, slow to scale,

Starting point is 00:33:33 or I'm having this one problem with a girlfriend, right? Like we're not communicating or whatever. Or my kid, right? Like kids are always going to be problematic. They're kids. Learning to be like, to not look at that as like this brain cloud over your head, but be like, Hey, what's the opportunity here to learn, to grow, to do something better, to get a little stronger. That's where the growth is. And so when I talk about gratitude ology, it's not just the study and practice of positive psychology. It's learning to love the suck. I love that. You mentioned kids earlier. So this is an interesting question. Do you feel like a lot of women in their 20s and 30s kind of forced relationships because

Starting point is 00:34:07 they're on a time clock to have kids? I mean, it's a great question. I came up in New York. So actually, I found the opposite. I found a lot of my friends in their late 30s, early 40s being like, shit, I worked so hard, I forgot to have kids. And I tell a lot of my girlfriends like, freeze your eggs. Like this is like a real conversation amongst women, especially ambitious women, because oftentimes time just gets away from you. I'm sure that that happens a lot for me. I'm so grateful that I didn't have kids until I was in my mid thirties because I just had so much of life and living and figuring out of my shit to do that. I don't think I would have been ready one minute before I was ready. And I will say this, don't have kids before you're ready. Because the thing is,

Starting point is 00:34:45 is that once you have kids, the living just for yourself, that's a wrap. That's a wrap, right? So like, I used to say to my sister, I would see her like lying on the couch, like watching like a Bravo marathon on the weekend, like, you know, eating like, you know, hot pockets on the couch at like 3pm. And I'm like, just so you know, when you have kids, that's a wrap. So like enjoy it now, right? Like cuddle up, be hungover on a Sunday, do your thing. But once you have kids, you really have to show up in a different way. So you got to make sure you're ready for that. I love that. Jamie, it's been fun. Anything you want to promote or close off with? I just want to tell everybody to listen to the Gratitudeology podcast. You can text

Starting point is 00:35:20 the word gratitude to 33777 and that'll give you the listen links. And if you head on over to mybrandninja.com, you can get the detail about my brand ninja course. Cool. We'll link below. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me. Of course. Thanks for watching, guys. See you tomorrow.

Digital Social Hour - How I 5X My Salary in 18 Months – You Can Too! | Jamie Hess DSH #589

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.