Digital Social Hour - Quitting Weed, Making $25M & Waking up at 5 AM I Kamal Ravikant DSH #419

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

Kamal Ravikant comes to the show to talk about quitting weed, making $25M & waking up at 5 AM APPLY TO BE ON THE PODCAST: https://forms.gle/D2cLkWfJx46pDK1MA BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [e-mail] SPONSORS: Deposyt Payment Processing: https://www.deposyt.com/seankelly LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

what pain they're doing what pain they're in immediately you can't help but feel it takes away that anger like you know hey you should treat me better or whatever it's just like oh it's their thing why should i actually add to my burden from their burden by being by reacting to that so i don't carry their burden i don't add their burden to mine that's powerful people need to hear that because they get very combative, I think. Wherever you guys are watching this show, I would truly appreciate it if you follow or subscribe. It helps a lot with the algorithm. It helps us get bigger and better guests, and it helps us grow the team.

Truly means a lot. Thank you guys for supporting, and here's the episode. All right, we're back, guys. We got Kamal Ravikant here today. How's it going, man? Good, man. Thanks for having me. I was going through your Twitter, and I noticed you're practicing Ravikant here today. How's it going, man? Good, man. Thanks for having me. I was going through your Twitter, and I noticed you're practicing some self-defense stuff right now.

What's going on there? It's actually more than self-defense. It's combat shooting. Okay. So I trained with a former SEAL Team 6 operator, Steve Sanders. The guy's a really legit, you know, silver star, bronze stars. And SEAL Team 6 is about as, we would say the best soldiers the United States produces, you know. So I would say the best soldiers in the world. And did a full career. And I started training with him a couple

of years ago out here in Vegas. And just first I thought it'd be kind of like fun, you know. And what I quickly discovered was when you study something with a master, and the guy, if you think about it, is a modern-day samurai who's literally been in the wars, has been against the worst of the worst, and has lived and come through it all, come back, hung up his sword, and now takes on students once in a while. And I lucked out and became one of his students. Wow.

And I fell in love with it because it's a craft. It's an art. And you're learning from someone who had to do this day. It was his day job, his night job. And he had to use it to survive and to take out some very, very bad people. Yeah. And to learn from him has been a real honor. And I thought it was going to be a cool thing I was was gonna do for and i fell in love with it yeah and it's you know shooting is is really interesting because

you know in our country it's it's either like you know everyone and every baby should have a gun or no one should have guns there's like no healthy there's no healthy middle common sense middle ground at least in the public discourse and you take take someone like myself, who's from California, who moves here and falls in love with shooting, it starts to understand why people love this so much and what makes it actually important. Like now I'm like, I don't want to live in a state where I can't have my guns.

I love having my guns. I love the feeling you have that no matter what happens, as the fan, you're're fine your family's fine your loved ones are fine you know like it's it's a very empowering feeling it's also very American you know America was built on you know the frontier go out yeah go wild go west young man and I actually love it it's meditative you know when you're shooting, you have to be in the moment. It's a very dangerous, as far as activity, to take on, especially the kind of stuff we do because we are running and gunning.

We're shooting at each other. We're doing all this, like, really high-caliber stuff that he's got me to that level. And so you have to be completely present, completely in the moment. It's so meditative. And then you get the dopamine hits and the serotonin hits because you get immediate feedback. You know exactly where the round went.

Did you hit your target or not? Where did you hit your target? Did you get the time right? Did you screw up? Did you get a jam? Were you able to clear and get back on target? You get the immediate feedback. And you're also growing because you get better and better

and better and you start like there's no like oh now i'm good enough because there's the next thing okay i'm gonna go learn how to clear buildings i'm gonna do this i would do that i want to take a sniper course it's like it's a martial art yeah it really is like you know old old kung fu you take on the different weapons and the different styles and that's really what it is and i've literally fallen in love with it. And I do it. I have zero desire to use it against anyone. Let's be honest.

I do it, and it's become a very, I didn't expect it, like a personal improvement journey. The level of confidence it's given me as a man, to be honest. Really? Yeah. That's fascinating. And I'm not someone who used to laugh for confidence. But I went through some right um but i went through

some severe stuff i went through some severe physical trauma in 2019 lost about two years of my life and when you're in severe pain anyone who's been severe pain uh will tell you it just wears you down every day a day and that just wears you down right and i didn't realize until i started doing it just how much it warmed down my confidence my sense of self as a man and doing this rebuilt it in a really beautiful way nice and i find this has come this has helped me in business in life where you just kind of like you understand that look i am powerful if i wish to be i'm dangerous and you know that by yourself and it actually makes you very calm and peaceful like the like the deadliest warrior is always like the the ones that i've met always the most calm peaceful chill

happy guys you'll meet yeah because you just have this knowing um i highly recommend it any martial art anything for me i fell into this that's cool man i love i don't even think of it as personal defense i think of it as just like personal improvement using this art. I think it caught my eye because I've had on a lot of spiritual people and most of them don't do any sorts of violence. You know what I mean? So when I saw that on your feed first thing, I was like, that is interesting.

I need to ask about that. Well, look, I mean, so much is Zen Buddhism. If you look at Buddhism back in the day and the monks, where did Kung Fu come from? The monks came up with it. I think Wing think wing chun is from like at least the story goes it's from like a buddhist nun you know it's like learn how to fight and so wing chun is good for like smaller close close quarter combat yeah you know there's there's uh um this whole thing of being spiritual um like it's just I'm being human.

I don't even know if this is spiritual or not, but I'll tell you what, this has made me a better human and made me more calm, more centered, even more at peace knowing that I have this skill. Yeah, that's cool. And you mentioned a physical battle for two years, physical trauma. What was that about? I had a 2019, I had a bot surgery where I basically almost died really horribly. And, you know, multiple surgeries later,

two years later, just extreme pain. And then I finally searched to fix everything and late 2021, I got my health back. And my God, let me tell you, you start to appreciate life and all of a sudden, like when you're in pain for so long, you basically learn how to put on a game face the world sees you certainly because you're just keeping it like the world does not benefit from you just sharing your pain all the time right so just and i'm that way so i just you just learn to

put on game face get through it get through it day in day out and i'm someone who really works on his mind you know i really do believe everything starts from here so it made me really dig in deep and continue to work on my mind the stuff that i write about right the inner game and what was interesting was because i had to work so hard to get through what i was going through that when i get out of it and was no longer in pain it was like oh my god now without the pain the way my mind was running it was amazing um but man those two years sucked wow so it was like oh my god now without the pain the way my mind was running it was amazing um but man those two years sucked oh so it was a really sucked so it was a botched surgery what was the original surgery about uh just details now there's a lawsuit because it turned out there

was all sorts of excuse my language going on so there's not i don't know if i can talk much about it right now but probably i will after it's over dude that is crazy and how were you able to treat it after there wasn't there wasn't any way i thought that was going to be my life wow and you know that's pretty depressing when you're a guy who's just used to doing stuff my entire life i've always been done some pretty crazy and outrageous things but that's what made me who i am and um then you like basically you're almost like hobbled from living the kind of life that you know you can live it's very very hard yeah and uh are you interested in coming on the digital social hour podcast as a

guest we'll click the application link below in the description of this video. We are always looking for cool stories, cool entrepreneurs to talk to about business and life. Click the application link below, and here's the episode, guys. Yeah, it sucked, and I'm glad to be on the other side. Yeah, not feeling like you had control is a terrible feeling.

It's awful because it's one thing losing your health, right? It's another thing losing your health with no fault of your own. But look, it's like, who was that Rabbi Kushner who wrote this book, Why Bad Things Happen to Good People? It's an incredible title. And I remember, I came across it years ago. I don't remember the content, but I remember it being very thoughtful.

And it's like, when you go through something like this, when you go through any trauma, hardship in life, you're bound to think, why me? It's the human thing, why me? Or like for me, I was like, man, I didn't deserve this. I'm a good man. I've done real good in the world. I didn't deserve this.

You kind of get stuck in that. But eventually you've got to get out of it. It's like, well's like well okay it is what it is what am i going to do now yeah and all you can do is get up and work on yourself get up work on yourself it's not easy there were times where you know i wanted to give up and like give up like check out right it was because if that's life i've i have a whole new appreciation for people who are in pain. And I sometimes wonder about that when I meet people. Because you get crankier. You get, like, a friend of mine, we were talking the other day,

he just had a ski accident. Wow. And he's, like, actually texted me earlier. He's at an orthopedic surgeon right now getting his shoulder looked at. He's like, man, I have to talk to someone. And I think you're the only one who understands. He's like, like i'm really cranky people have been telling me like you're not yourself he's like yeah when you're in pain and you're just fighting pain like you're it's like that part of your mind that's more less things slide by it's too busy occupied with that so

you're like of a shorter fuse and so i sometimes wonder when i'll see someone or i'm somewhere and someone's like not very polite to me and i'll ask myself i wonder what pain they're in and that literally immediately like drops whatever my internal drama about how they were was that's deep right that's so true because i'm thinking of people that have dealt with with severe pain or severe inflammation and it's hard for them to be happy it's because a part of your brain non-stop is working on just dealing with that so then you'd have your tolerance is much much lower for anything right right and it doesn't have to be physical pain think of emotional pain emotional pain sometimes you know it's even harder right yeah it can be right so we're gonna get into that yeah pain is pain sometimes you know it's even harder right yeah it can be right so yeah pain is

pain man like i never discount anyone's pain yeah because it's like you know the scenery differs but the human mind is the human mind the human heart is the human heart right and so i have a lot more empathy for people now in the sense that i just ask myself that question when i see someone who's not being how i wish they were to me you know what that's a good question to ask because when someone gives me attitude i never think about where it's coming from yeah i just ask myself i wonder what pain they're you know what what pain they're dealing with what pain they're in immediately you can't help but feel it takes away that anger like you know hey you should treat me better or whatever it It's just like, oh, it's their thing.

And that's literally basically the secret of dealing with anyone in life. It's their thing. I'm going to be me. It's their thing. And you kind of don't carry, they're carrying their own burden. Why should I actually add to my burden from their burden by reacting to that?

So I don't carry their burden. I don't add their burden to mine then. That's powerful. People need to hear that because they get very combative, I think. Right? And all you're doing is taking that person's rock and taking a piece of it

and adding it into your pile of rocks. Yeah. Why? Because you're very good at just mitigating stress. Well, I don't sit around and try to do it that way. What I've come to is ways just to how to be inside. And like my books, they come from that, how to be inside. And so all of this just comes from how to want to react to the world outside,

especially when it's great when everyone loves you, everyone's singing your praises or whatever, everyone's giving you la vida loca. When people are not is when the work, you've got to do the work. Because just like when I was in pain, I was doing the work. When you're no longer in pain, when you're no longer in a situation, things are running so smoothly. You're like, oh, my God, this is amazing.

I will never say I needed to go through what I went through. I didn't. I don't wish that on anyone. But what I did to myself and my inner self going through has made me so much better. And that is the only choice we have in life anyway. So that being said, do you think everything happens for a reason? I don't buy that.

I know a lot of people do. A lot of people say that. I've been through enough in life that I know what I do believe is that as within, so without. You'll find that in all the mystics. You'll find that in basically all the religions, as within, so without. Is there a grand plan or reason for it? Was this all written?

Is there no free will? I mean, like, look, that's above my pay grade, honestly. But I just think when people say, oh, there's a reason why you went through a really sh**ty two years. Well, that's a sh**ty reason. I could have learned that lesson way better ways. That's an optimistic point of view. You know what?

There's way better ways. There's way more fun ways for me to learn these lessons. So I don't buy that. But what I do buy is, regardless of what happens, forget the reason, it's the choice. And the choice is, who am I going to be through this? That's the only choice we got. And look, we're human.

And there are days where I didn't want the choice. And I was sh**ty. And I was a victim of feeling sorry for myself and miserable. There were many days of it. But then there were days where I was like, okay,'m feeling sorry for myself and miserable. There were many days of it, right? But then there were days where I was like, okay, well, I hate feeling this way. And what is my choice? I'm just going to make myself feel better.

Why? Not for anybody else, but just for me because I deserve to feel better. I need to feel better. It's very selfish, but it's actually beautiful because when you're that way, you don't take your rock and put it in other people. So you're actually better to the world

when you lessen your own weight. I like that. And a lot of people see selfishness as a bad thing. See what as a bad thing? They see selfishness, being selfish, sort of in a bad light, you know what I mean? Yeah, and I used to be that. And I've learned, like, look,

I'm the guy who wrote the book on loving yourself, right? And I've learned that a level of selfishness is needed when you love yourself. For example, saying no. I've gotten really good at saying no to people. People I love dearly I would do anything for. But like, if it doesn't feel right to me, I just say no. And I'm very honest.

I say it from a place of love. You know, I'm like, and this is why. And they can accept it or not, very honest i say from a place of love you know i'm like um this is and this is why they can accept it or not but it's coming from a place of love right and yes that is selfish but that's being real that's being honest and you know what like people appreciate more and the ones who don't self-select themselves out of your life wow which is a beautiful gift so i don't think of being as selfish i think it was being real i think a lot of times you know we're conditioned by society you know be the good kid be that be the nice guy be this be that but what you're doing is you're

tapping down honesty by trying to be the nice of this that's just ego through the back door building that personality the nice guy or always the nice guy or the bend over or whatever. That's another form of ego. I think the best thing we can do is just be real from a loving place, from an honest place. It is what it is. I think if that's selfish, I guess. I think it's healthy selfish. I like that.

Speaking of your book about how to love yourself, how do people watching this know if they actually love themselves? Honestly, I don't think most people do. I mean, look, I didn't, and I'm not someone who set out to be the love yourself guy. I used to laugh at that kind of stuff. I swear to you, man, I am not that guy. I think that's one of the reasons why my work does so well

is because I write from my experience from a guy who never wanted to you, man, I am not that guy. I think that's one of the reasons why my work does so well is because I write from my experience from a guy who never wanted to be that guy, and I still don't. I'm just a human being who works really hard on himself and shares what he's learned. So, I mean, loving yourself, one of the things is, are you really honest with your decisions, with your choices with others, to yourself? Do they serve you?

There's a very simple question I like to ask myself when i'm faced with choices if i love myself and the if part's really important if i love myself truly and deeply what would i do two choices fork in the road if i love myself which choice would i make so just ask yourself are you making this right the choices that if, the if is great because the brain likes to say but, but, but. But if you say, what would I do because I love myself? Your brain will say, well, you don't, or whatever. The brain will come back and say these things.

But the if confuses the mind because the if is an open-ended question. It's theory. If I love myself, what would I do? And so if you ask yourself that question, choices you're making, and the answer is you are doing the things that you love yourself, then you are. It's a very simple question, and it's a very – that question alone, making a habit of asking yourself that in choices,

will transform your life. Wow. I can't wait to start implementing that. Thank you. You're very welcome. And it's, yeah, it changed my life just starting to ask myself that question. Yeah. Are you big on stuff like that, mantras, affirmations?

Well, the whole concept of mantras, affirmations, what I ended up doing was when I started doing the inner work of myself, I started telling myself things. And I realized, so that is affirmations what i ended up doing was when i started doing the inner work of myself i started telling myself things and i realized so that's that is affirmations right i never i never looked at it all i was doing was i was what i would realize what i was doing was i was just creating mental loops within myself because their brain's always running loops you know you could sit there quiet but your mind's not quiet it's just flashes of memories sounds thoughts insights or a lot of drama right and and it's just like running an autopilot and if you just really watch it for a

while you'll see the same patterns the same themes it's not even original there's not much original happening in there right so so what i decided to do when i was when i made this about i love myself in a in a hard place was i started working on creating a new loop that that was going to override everything that i was just going to focus on with feeling with emotion with gratitude with light coming in just started doing it and what i found to that was to be very very transformative because you start running that loop consciously and it's very uncomfortable in the beginning because anything especially for the mind anything that goes against our normal sense of self is very uncomfortable right and as you know like doing anything like starting a podcast or whatever you

got to go through the fear and do it again and again until you're comfortable no one starts a podcast day one being comfortable being a great interviewer. It doesn't happen. Same thing with the mind. And so running this loop, so I guess you would call it affirmation, but it's not just wrote again and again, like, I love myself, I love myself.

No, no. Like really make yourself feel it, whether I believed it or not. And that's really important. Because eventually, it's just your mind, and they'll start believing the show it's running. And that's really important. Because eventually, it's just your mind. And they'll start believing the show is running. And what I found over time was my patterns in my mind changed. I started to come from that place of loving myself.

And also, when I would see the patterns, and I still do. I'm very, very much a human being. I have a very healthy ego. I catch them. Because I'm like, this doesn't feel good. And I go back to what feels good. And it's all the inner game because, look, we're born, we live this whole show, and then we die. But as someone who's almost died with hospital staff running around

screaming and yelling and realizing just how lonely it can be, that moment. It's a journey of one and equals one. We may have all the people around us, but in the end, we're in our head. So that is the one place if you improve it. And so to your question the affirmations i think if we do them with like consistently with feeling with with uh belief whether you believe or not making yourself believe it eventually they start to run the show so they

do work i mean they they've existed through different cultures or whatever through history yeah for a reason that is cool so you found a way to almost control your subconscious thoughts. Yeah, because I was layering in the new pattern. And you don't just think a thing once. It's like you go to the gym once and say, all right, I'm done, dude. I'm like fucking going to go Mr. Olympia. No, you go day in, day out, day in, day out.

Same thing with the mind. And the mind is trickier than the body. The mind is more elastic. The is bounces back to old patterns you know we're not even used to actually trying to we just think the mind's us we're not used to actually looking at the at our minds actually no that's that's just these patterns running and i'm going to take charge of the patterns yeah and i'm going to decide what the patterns are going to be and i'm going to take charge of the patterns. And I'm going to decide what the patterns are going to be. And I'm going to work on it. And I'm going to decide who I'm going to be.

You know, man, I was never taught that. I had to figure it out. Man, if I'd been taught that younger, man, holy shit. The trajectory of my life would have been like none of this rocky stuff. It just would have been like this. I don't think schools want people knowing that information, honestly. Well, I don't think the teachers, the people teaching know that information. That's true, too.

No, I found that when you find this kind of information, it transforms your life. And I can see that from you. It's like you want to share it. Whatever you learn that makes you successful inside out, whatever, it's like fun to share it. So I think the more people start to do this the more they actually share with others because people say hey you're it's like if you go to the gym every day you get a personal trainer a great personal trainer and they see you six months later and you're like jacked they will say hey what have you been doing

i want to do it same thing with the mind they'll they'll be like hey you seem very different you seem calmer you seem happier you seem this that what are you doing and then you pass it on and some will do it someone and they improve and they pass it on and so forth absolutely you know that's what i think this modern um not media but this modern uh you know writing books podcasts all this is part of that you know sharing, sharing. Yeah, it feels great, honestly. I'll bet. And you get instant feedback too, which is cool because you can see the comments, you can see the messages.

You're really changing my life and it feels amazing. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's hard to replicate this in ancient times, honestly, because I can't think of any methods that could do what we're doing these days. There weren't, I mean, forget ancient times. Go back a decade or two ago you can you had to be chosen to show up in good morning america or do this or do that

do the sound bites you know it was all sound bites and where was long long form was like what charlie rose and and um larry king but you had to be a celebrity yep right you couldn't be like a like these days, look at how modern celebrities come from. Like David Goggins, former Navy SEAL, dude of like crazy, incredible dude who just runs nonstop, right? Yeah.

But look at the lives he's changed. You know, look at Jocko, look at like Rogan, look at all these like modern day celebrities. And they never would have passed any of the tests in the past. And we're not talking, we're talking our lifetimes. We're not, we're not you know pre-podcast you know not even pre-internet let's go to pre-podcast right uh social media twitter whatever maybe some but this level of people get to learn from you know who you are did not exist no right and so this is like incredible time um it's a little crazy because it's very noisy and it's dramatic.

There's so much. There's drama, yeah. Social media is, at this point, is a reflection of the human mind. It's so much drama. Yeah. And it's addictive. And the algorithms are designed to take your attention. The algorithms are not designed to improve your life or your mind.

And I used to watch all those drama videos, and I had to stop because it was affecting me. It does. How can it not? Like, I get sucked into that stuff sometimes, and I literally will take breaks, and I will delete all social media apps from my phone. And then if I want to use it, I have to go on my computer.

Wow. That little shift alone actually makes a big difference. Just, I got to go up on my computer or go on there, because then you think about it. That's true. But in that, all that drama and noise is a lot of honesty and truth and people who never could have shown to the world

outside of their immediate small circle of community are now shining to the world. It's amazing. It's absolutely amazing. It's cool to see because you no longer have to be a good-looking person to be famous before it's just the elites and yeah you have to be chosen and you had to you had to have the sound bites and you had to be like have your agents and your managers and your pr you know yeah the celebrities were chosen these

days you can create your own celebrity you can be your own quote-unquote celebrity and you could be yourself before celebrities were just yeah yeah you didn't even actually know the person you know and these days you can create your own celebrity. You can be your own quote-unquote celebrity. And you could be yourself. Before celebrities were just actors. You didn't even actually know the person. You know what I mean? I think honestly that's one of, for example, Rogan's appeal. He's himself.

He's very uncompromisingly himself. And that's refreshing. Where do you find that, like say in traditional media? It's very, very, you find that here and there, but it's very hard. Just Tucker Carlson, honestly. I can't think of many people. Here's the interesting thing.

The people who are, they do shine, but for some reason, using that as a model, it's actually not used as the model. Also, they're harder to control. That's something I think about a lot because now I have sponsors approaching me and stuff, but I want to maintain control. I don't want to be influenced.

I don't want them telling me who I can have on, what I can say and stuff. I want to just be able to speak freely. Something I've learned is you just is like, you just say no. You just say no, that's not for me, and the right ones, that opens up the space for the right ones. Yeah.

Like, I've really learned that. And that's like, you know, if I love myself truly and deeply, the choice would I make, right? And you would not silence yourself. And you know that already, right? You would never compromise yourself. Chappelle has a great bit on that,

why he left, you know, disappeared from comedy. And I think you've read Iceberg Slim's Pimp, like a section from that. It's about that's the game. That's the Hollywood game. It's brilliant. I don't know if you've ever seen it. I got to watch that.

Yeah. He escaped their grasp. Yeah, but I think it's one of his shows from the last series, especially the 2017, 2018. And he reads, and this is a classic in American literature, Pimp. Iceberg Slim was an actual pimp, like a full-on pimp, who wrote his story. And it's brilliant writing.

He wrote it like his voice voice which is why it's an uncompromising like trust me none of us want to be that guy i've won his life it's brilliant though and he just reads a section from it and this isn't a comedy act this is at the end of a comedy act and he's reading for like five ten minutes and you're a spellbound you know and he just explains to you how that whole game is. It's incredible. That's cool. It's incredible.

Man, I could talk to you for hours. We'll end it on this because I saw you on a podcast talking about seeing a sex witch. A what? A sex witch. Sexual energy. A sex witch? What did I say?

I forget which show it was, but you were talking about sexual energies. I was? Yeah. Okay, what's the question? the question i'm curious well i saw on your website also you talked about meeting a few women or something i've met quite a few women it was in the paragraph but your thoughts on like relationships like right now are you in one and how has that evolved as you've gotten older that's a great question um i used to be mr monogamy always looking for the one right finally falling in love and having kids and all that and i've had a few great relationships like that but they never worked out and you know actually when i was in the hospital room um here's a very interesting thing when you're in a hospital room and hospital rooms are the

places in the world they really are you have no privacy you no matter how rich or famous or powerful you are you bring that gown with those needles all in you, but you have no, like, you know, forget your, like, people are coming, poking and prodding you, lifting up. You have, like, you know, you have no, all the sense of self is just taken away from you, right? Whether for good or bad. And then also the doctors are telling you really stuff, right? And you have some very honest conversations with yourself. You have some very honest conversations with yourself you have the most honest conversations with yourself in those moments or foxholes or whatever when it's just like like you have no choice and one of my things was like look Kamal you've had

this long and illustrious history of you know of looking for the one falling in love and uh falling in love and then it not working out, and being heartbroken, and then getting up again, and going and falling in love. Where did I get you? And the answer was in a hospital room, all by myself, alone, almost dead. I was like, well, what's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting the same result.

So what I did was you know i mean i dropped the desire and it's actually a very buddhist thing but i didn't realize the time i was doing i dropped the desire because the suffering comes from attachment to desire it doesn't come from desire it comes from attachment desire and when you don't have it we suffer all that drama like i want this i don't have it so i suffer. All that drama. Like, I want this, I don't have it, so I suffer. So I dropped it. And what I did was I'm just going to open myself up to life. Whatever it wants from me.

Whatever I draw to me when it comes to relationships. I'm just going to open myself up. And that's what I did. And honestly, when it comes to relationships, I'm a single guy, I date. I have fun. It's been great. It's been absolutely great. Something will eventually lead to something, but I'm no longer looking for it.

You know what's really funny? When you're no longer looking for it, it just all comes back to you. It's the grand secret to life. Drop the attachment to the desire. Yeah. You know, and be free. Yeah. And then just be and be you day in, day out. Choose who do I want to be today and be that, be that.

And man, life's so much better that way. I like that. There's an interesting debate on social media as men. You know, we're programmed to spread our seed, right? And we're not built to be monogamous. Correct. Do you agree with that take? I mean, that's just evolution.

We are. I mean, you just look at the male, just how we're designed, including how we think. Yeah. I mean, that is evolution. Though I don't think, I mean, the whole family unit existed because we had to, to grow as societies. You needed stability. Modern day, I don't think, I mean, the whole family unit existed because we had to, to grow as societies. You needed stability. Modern day, I don't know.

I don't know what's ahead for the future. You know, it's for the next generation to figure out. It's tough. And with divorce rates at over 50%, it's scary. You know, those are the, that doesn't count in. And I'm someone who's lived long enough, was very deep friendships with people. And I'm someone people tell everything to.

You realize in those 50% or 50%, less than 50% that are still married, let's go down to happily married. That actually cuts down a lot. It's like people live in quiet, lives of quiet desperation because this is a life they've chosen. Right.

You know, I think, but I know people have some incredible relationships, but honestly, it's like rare and rare. It has to, like anything, it requires full-on commitment. You really have to make it the number one priority.

If you're not going to do it, do that, don't do it. Wow, so number one over everything. That's what I've seen with the ones who've made it work.

And none of them ever said it was easy. They all said, oh, it was hard, but it was worth it. It's like they say with kids. It was hard, but was worth it right you can't go you can't half-ass a relationship if you want to just stand the test of time and you want to be happy and fulfilled and grow in it you can't half-ass if you can't half-ass anything you want to be great at think

about that right so if you want to have a great relationship you can't have acid um but yeah like i mean as far as the how we're wired by i mean it's biologically we're wired you know we are wired to run around and you know be boys boys be boys boys be boys yeah all right come on that was fun where can people find you and anything you're trying to promote uh You can find me in the usual socials, Instagram, Twitter, AirChat, anything I'm trying to promote. Look, my book, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, it's changed a lot of lives, it's saved a lot of lives. I'm kind of like a marketer,

but I'd say if you're going to do something for that social meet, go buy that book. You'll be better for it. And by the way, HarperCollins thanks you for that. Awesome. Yeah, we'll put it in the description. It's on Amazon.

It's on Amazon everywhere. All right. Sounds good. Thanks for coming on, man. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Great. Thanks for watching, guys.

See you tomorrow.