Digital Social Hour - Redefining Success: The Heart vs. Mind Dilemma | Jarek Tadla DSH #760

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

Unlock a groundbreaking perspective on success with the latest episode of the Digital Social Hour! 🚀 Join Sean Kelly and special guest Jarek Tadla as they dive deep into the heart vs. mind dilemma and redefine what success truly means. 🤔 From overcoming anxiety and depression to the power of vulnerability, this episode is packed with valuable insights that will challenge your perceptions and inspire change. 🧠💪 Jarek shares his incredible journey from Poland to the U.S., navigating cultural shifts, language barriers, and personal struggles. Discover how he transformed setbacks into powerful life lessons and why connecting with the right people can make all the difference. 🌟 Tune in now to explore concepts like emotional fitness and the impact of social media on mental health. Don't miss out on this authentic conversation that offers real solutions and relatable experiences. Watch now and subscribe for more insider secrets. 📺 Hit that subscribe button and stay tuned for more eye-opening stories on the Digital Social Hour with Sean Kelly! 🚀 #entrepreneurstress #howtodealwithanxietyanddepressionasanentrepreneur #entrepreneurmentalhealth #dealingwithanxietyasanentrepreneur #businessownerdepression #mentalhealth #businessownerdepression #entrepreneurmentalhealth #howtoprioritizeyourmentalhealthasanentrepreneur #mentalillness CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:25 - Moving to the US 06:41 - Skiing Accident Survival 08:16 - Kids Disowning Parents 11:20 - Struggling with Depression 12:59 - Overcoming Negative Self-Talk 17:54 - Lessons from Children 20:17 - Trusting Your Gut Feelings 21:50 - Ayahuasca Healing Experience 26:50 - Meeting Patrick Mahomes 28:07 - Mo's Real Estate Journey 29:40 - Avoiding the 2008 Market Crash 30:50 - Purpose and Addiction in Life 33:35 - Managing Inner Voices 36:08 - Brotherhood's Power 37:48 - Significance of Brotherhood 38:47 - Closing Thoughts APPLY TO BE ON THE PODCAST: https://www.digitalsocialhour.com/application BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [e-mail] GUEST: Jarek Tadla https://www.instagram.com/tadlajarek https://www.jarektadla.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@UCPRDokm5eYk0bu3gFVZi-9w https://www.tiktok.com/@jarektadla50 SPONSORS: Deposyt Payment Processing: https://www.deposyt.com/seankelly LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This time I said, like, when I'm going to redesign this old attic, restructure this old attic, I want to do it my way. And ask for all the help that I possibly can. A lot of men feel shame or guilt when they have anxiety or depression and they're scared to talk about it, you know? I was hiding, man. Like, I was hiding for so many years. If the last thing didn't happen, I would probably wouldn't be here. All right, alright guys from Poland moved here at 21 Jarek Tadla

thanks for coming on man thank you yeah what was it like over there those first 21 years you know what it was I think it was

like a very good journey I needed so what happened is when I moved here I appreciated everything this country has to offer and for being an immigrant and just see everything how how accessible and their wealth because I moved here

in 1993 that the steps was humongous and I'm telling you the second I passed like you know across the border I got my green card I'm like I'm I'm not going to waste it. Like, here, here you go. We say in my country, like United States, the money is growing under trees and laying on the floors. And it's like, I'm like, you know, it's just you have to learn and you have to kind of like see it. But I immediately went to work and I did not waste any of my time. I love it.

Did you come alone or with your family? No, I came with my parents. Okay. Yeah. My parents won the green card. And what happened is, because I was under 21, I was six days before. So me and my sister immediately jumped on it. Got it.

So that's how we came in. My older brother came 10 years later because he did not qualify because he was over 21. And did you all speak English? Hell no. Oh, you didn't? No. That must have been tough then, right?

No. But what happens is when you're in a society that everybody speaks English, it's easier. Yeah. Because you just merge. And then everything around us, it just takes like, to comprehend, it takes like three months. And to speak at six months.

Oh, that's not bad. OK. I mean, you're 21. You're young. We observed the knowledge like immediately. And that first job, dishwasher, right? Yes. I did my research on you.

Oh. Yeah. But you know what? Like when I tell people this was my best job, people's like, why? Why would you say that? Because at that time,

I didn't speak any English. So I was not involved in any politics, any like gossiping, anything. I was just doing my job going to, you know, going home, going to school,

you know, English second language and the college and I was happy. And when I started listening to English and I, you know,

I understand all the politics and everything's going on and gossip, I was like, okay. That's the one bad part about America, the gossiping,

the celebrity culture. Yeah, but I don't think it's only in US. I think it's, you know, all over the world. Yeah, India has a big,ing, the celebrity culture. Yeah, but I don't think it's only in the U.S. I think it's all over the world. Yeah, India has a big Bollywood or whatever. Yeah, it's probably worldwide, right? People will always kind of hate on those more successful and famous.

Yeah, and now with the social media, I mean, you have access to everything. Yeah, it's amplified. And everywhere, yeah. And now mental health because of social media is pretty bad. And I know you talk a lot about that too. I talk a lot about mental health and emotional fitness because I went through so many stages in my life that I wasn't completely aware of it.

You know, when all this stuff, like something really bad happened to me, I thought it's just, God was sending me a red flag, just wake up, wake up. But I'm a slow learner. It took me a while until I hit the bottom of the bottom. And every time I hit the bottom of the bottom,

I was like, that's the bottom of the bottom. And then two years later, I was like, oh, this was just a warning. I was like, I give you a warning, man. I give you a warning. And, you know, I'm telling you, I'm a slow learner. But until I got the signal and awareness, that's why I'm here with the social media. You know, social media is a gift and a curse.

You can use it for the good or for the bad. Agreed. And everybody has access to us, like your own Bible. And people know you and family and friends. But on social media, I mean, there's 8 billion people. Yeah. So you can really reach mean, there's 8 billion people. Yeah. You know, so you can really reach and connect with people that really need help and rely with your message.

I'm very careful with my feed because it's easy to compare yourself on social media. So I try not to follow people that flash their expensive lifestyle or cars or materialistic stuff. I try to follow motivational people, healthy people. And my feed now is really good. But I used to compare myself a lot because of social media. The comparison game, but here's what it is. My pet peeve is because it's unfortunate. In this society, depends how much money you're worth,

that's how much respect you get. And what happened is when I had the bottom of the bottom, I need like fathers. I need people that went through it and all those good fathers all the good examples they were not social media flushing all the stuff there were guys of fathers that were working two or three jobs and i didn't have access to them and then i kick off an exciting football season with bet mgm an official sportsbook partner of the national football league yard after We'll be right back. With a variety of exciting features, BetMGM offers you plenty of seamless ways to jump straight onto the gridiron and to embrace peak sports action. Ready for another season of gridiron glory? What are you waiting for? Get off the bench, into the huddle, and head for the end zone all season long. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions.

Must be 19 years of age or older. Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. Gambling problem? For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I didn't want to listen to somebody

who accomplished everything on social media, but yet, it's like, he's a douchebag. He's not a good father. He's not a good role model. And it's hard to kind of find those right people. And it was hard for me to find anybody that I can connect with

that's going through the same stuff that I do. How were you able to find that first mentor? Well, what happened is when I found my first mentor, I mean, you know, like I was always self-improvement. So Tony Robbins was like, you know, since 2002, like I was deep, deep with Tony Robbins. And then after my ski accident in 2016, I found Raul, Raul Velezas, the Edge group. That's my brotherhood. I've been with them for eight years.

And he was the first guy that really woke me up. Because there's something, there's missing something in me. I'm not happy. But what happened is I didn't even know how to ask questions. I just don't like it. Yeah, but why you don't like it? The feelings that I have. First with emotions and feelings, we don't understand them.

We feel them, but we don't get it. But this is not it. I'm like 44-year-old man. By rules of society, I have everything, yet I'm miserable. There's emptiness inside. And I started looking for answers, and I couldn't find it.

So I started hiring coaches and people, because Tony Robbins is very big. You know, you go to the seminars, there's thousands, thousands of people. Yeah. You're not getting one-on-one with him. Yeah. I was looking for like a more intimate, you know, kind of one-on-one and that's how I found with the group. Nice. And then from then the journey just started. Dude, that's crazy. So you almost died from that accident, right? The ski accident? The ski accident was very serious. I did not die. But what happened, I was six months in hospital.

I got 13 surgeries in and out. Jeez. And I almost lost my leg. I broke everything in my body. But however, the biggest problem was my leg. Holy crap. I couldn't recover. And completely rewrite the story in my head.

Your head? Like completely. Like I didn't realize how weak I am. Wow. Because like I could conquer anything I put in my mind to it, and yet I struggle with this. But then I recover anyway, you know, because I use my work ethics,

and I don't know how you – like I always question myself in my voices. Were we born with the work ethics or did the parents give it to us? That's a good question. Because like why some people have it so much and some people don't? Right. So I could always put my mind and get out of it. So, of course, the recovery took two years.

And, you know, but the imposter syndrome in my head and was keep telling me that, hey, you know, you're not doing enough. You know, now you won't be a good father. You can play the soccer. You cannot, you know, at that time, I have four kids. Wow. So what do you mean? I cannot walk anymore in my life. You know, suddenly the not enoughness came in,

which is, by the way, in my book. I'm not going to be a great father. I'm not going to be enough. I'm not going to be enough for my kids. And the story was getting worse and worse and worse. I'm like, I become a victim of my own circumstances that I created. I mean, this is nothing. You just had a ski accident.

But because I recover, of course, you know, under two years later, everything recover. You know, I forgot about this is nothing. You just had a ski accident. But because I recover, of course, you know, and two years later, everything recover, you know, I forgot about it. Wow. So it's like I'm in glory. Yeah, I come out of it. And then two years later, divorce. I was like, phew. I'm like, are you kidding me?

But I was already mentally prepared. I already was aware of emotional intelligence and fitness and awareness. Oh, so you saw it coming. So there's like, you know, yeah. So I was kind of like mentally prepared fitness and awareness oh so you saw it coming so there's like you know yeah so i was kind of like mentally prepared but i wasn't prepared i was like oh shit i thought i was on the bottom of the bottom after the ski accident right boom divorce okay then i recover after divorce then my oldest child just you know move out and disown me and the second child i'm like god why me like what did i do wow he disowned you yeah holy crap so but now we good my kids came back and i would love it but it took me two years

but the the problem with all the inner walks i took you know because i become the douchebag you know i become the you know the guy to have everything. And everybody, you know, I look at for all my validation outside the world. Like, you know, so if I want to be loved, I want to look at validation if I buy more stuff or I win another competition. Or, you know, I buy more businesses and have more employees. And that's what I look at for validations. Right. A lot of people think that way. Yeah.

And so I become. Product of at for validations. Right. A lot of people think that way. Yeah. And so I become... Product of your environment. Yeah. Exactly. And I have to completely disconnect it and that's where the inner work started. Wow. So do you think you were so strict on your kids

they kind of distanced themselves? Yeah. Because what happened is I was strict on myself. I was... I'm telling you, brother,, the way I talk to myself, I would not have anybody around me. I talk to myself like shit. But that was like the motivation.

You know what I mean? Getting up at 4 o'clock in the morning, not going to the gym. It's like, oh, my God, get up, get up. You loser. The way I talk to myself, it becomes my identity. But also, even though I did not speak to other people, but I carry the energy. But then I emptied the bag because I want to,

just looking for validation from other people, I empty my bucket and I become a people pleaser. And that depleted me more and more and more because I forgot about Little Yadik. I forgot about myself. So when I hit the depression that I want to get out of the bed, I was like, oh, my God. Like, I'm empty. I just give everything away.

But that's where the awareness started. I was like, okay, now we're going to work. And this is the work that I absolutely don't know how to do. Because you have all the voices in your head and the imposter that you trained for 50 years. And now imagine how you change your habits. It's hard. So that's where you go and go bury yourself. You were on your own for years, right? Yeah.

So that must have been probably the lowest of the low right there. Yes. By yourself with all this money and probably a huge house. Yeah, because what happened is I built the huge bunker around me, and I didn't want nobody in it. But what happened was by me not allowing anybody in it because everybody wants something from me. I did not allow anybody in it.

Guess what? I did not allow anybody out of guess what I did not allow anybody out of it hmm so all the pain always stay inside so when Raul helped me with you know taking the the bricks down I start opening and I just realized you know when I become vulnerable how much people around helped me and just sharing the story and just you know being present and being vulnerable. And it's like, I like that. Yeah.

But the imposter and the devil, because, you know, the devil was still in my head, you know. Yeah, you're a loser. You're not doing this. You're not doing this. It's like, you know, yeah, you're good here, but you're horrible here. And it's the voices and me understanding that I'm not the only one. I thought that I'm the only one going through all these issues.

And I was born like that. I was going through the issues when I was swimming, when I was in high school, when I was in college, when I was building my careers. And I was like, that's why I kind of distanced myself from anybody. Because then I realized everybody is like that. All the guys, all the men is like, huh. It's like, and then I realized everybody is like that. All the guys, like all the men is like, huh. It's like, I'm not the only one.

And it's like, we all have these voices. We're always like, I thought this devil imposter just sitting in my head and just fucking with me. Yeah. And it's like, oh, we all have it. You have it. I could guarantee like, you know. Yeah, I talk to myself a lot actually. Yeah.

How is your self-talk? Mine used to be very negative dude i grew up in a household where my parents were very negative pessimistic and uh it took me years to change that even still today i get negative thoughts yeah it's tough i think we all get negative thoughts we do and look at i'm getting goosebumps this what happened is the negative tasks like how quickly they build the little negative thought it goes to next one, and next one, and suddenly you're in the bubble. It's like, holy shit, how did I end up here? It's like 40 minutes later, I just hate the whole world.

So I have to go back to the gratitude and being grateful, and I meditate, pray, and it's like just reset myself. I love that. Yeah, but now I'm cutting myself a lot quicker. But it took years and years to do that. It didn't come overnight. In the beginning, I did not even know what the feeling is. I could not even describe it.

The only feelings I knew is happy, not happy, or angry. But that's why I got triggered immediately. So it's like, holy shit. You couldn't control your anger? Yeah, because you're carrying the, why nobody understand this shit like you know what i mean yeah because you got all that emotion you're storing in your body you got to let it out yeah so you would let it out through anger exactly and you know when i had the depression the last one i was like you know i cannot like i i like literally for three four weeks i could

not get out of the bed damn like like i get and me like, I could not get out of the bed. Damn. And me, like me, I could not get out of the bed. My queen just literally, when she opened the blinds, I'm like, bitch, I'm going to close the freaking blinds. And she's like, I'm done. You're getting out of the bed. I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm like, you are. I'm like, no, I'm not.

And she just kept pulling me and i went outside and i was like look at you and i have this like a huge skylights on in my house and i'm like look at the clouds it's like what the hell are you doing but i believe in my own thoughts first first i was sick like a day two days then the two days become a week and i was like oh you did not work out you know you did not answer any phone calls you did not make any progress you did not read you did not like and then the new pain became the more painful and then i just just the the new pain become the fuel i forgot about all the other stuff that i was depressed about the new pain and i have to completely bury myself and start you know from bury myself and start from the new attic.

I was embarrassed, I walk 100 yards. Dude, I swim three miles a day. I bike 100 miles a day. I walk 150 yards to the stop sign for my house because I live on the end of the coast side. Go fly, and I was like, that was nice. But I cannot tell anybody, hey, I walked today 150 yards. Motherfucker, you run 20 miles a day.

Like, what are you talking about? And I was excited because I could not go back to the old attic that is doing the same thing because, you know, I dropped it for so many months. I dropped it. So you cannot, you know. But this time I said, like, when when i'm gonna redesign this old attic restructure this old attic i want to do it my way and and ask for all the help i can possibly can that's that's important a lot of

men feel shame or guilt when they have anxiety or depression and they're scared to talk about it you know so that's powerful that you shared that i, man. Like I was hiding for so many years. And if the last thing didn't happen, I would probably wouldn't be here. Wow. I wouldn't be here, you know? You know, I become a part of the brotherhood, the tribe. When I really hit the suicidal thoughts,

I mean, I was so lazy in bed. Can you imagine being so lazy? I have my boat outside the house with all the scuba dive tanks, and I was so lazy because now I have to call my captain. I cannot drive the boat because then if I go and, you know, go

to the water with the scuba dive tank, like, you know, go 100 yards, it's the easiest that. I'm like, what's going to happen with the boat? So I cannot call him. I'm not going to commit suicide in front of my captain that i know him for 12 years you know what i mean so i have to do it and learn i was so lazy to walk thank god i was so lazy because that's why we're here you know what i mean and that was hard wow you know or then driving to my title company there on 28th floor so jumped off the building i'm like no maybe i not going to jump because what if I change my mind in the middle?

You know what I mean? Thanks. You really had these thoughts. Oh, it was bad. Like, it was done. Like, I was like, and it's like, Yarek, you really, when you put your mind to it, you do it. And that scared me even more.

Wow. And Raul was like, we have these phone calls every single day. Just think of your kids. Think of your kids. Think of your kids. And that completely get me out of it. but it was like a day by day and it was like people say there was like any jump no it was the longest process i feel though yeah i saw you say on another podcast kids are here to teach us lessons yes yeah i believe that too yeah because what happened is

like do you have any kids i want kids we just got engaged. We're getting married next year. Nice. And I want at least two, three kids. Nice. So I got five. Nice. Yeah. So believe me, all the pain, all the stuff that, you know, you see it, you know, in you.

So our kids are really like, like my kids are best lessons for me. Because they taught me everything, you know, I struggle with. You know, it's like, they are the mirrors. Like when you see what, and the kids always give you their feelings. They don't know how to tell you how they feel. They act up. They want us like, dad, please feel this.

Like, I don't like this stuff. And then when you start feeling and you're just understanding, you're like, shit, that shit triggers shit out of me because I'm still not resolved inside me. There is still my issue. But yet, I did not ever realize it. I look forward to it, man.

I didn't want them for a while, but my opinion has changed on kids. I'm telling you, after one, two two it's like three four five there's no difference there's like you know elon musk has 11 now i think yes that's a lot man yeah you want more yeah you know what no you know i can tell you my oldest one i love my like i love my kids and my my daughter she taught me good lessons, very painful lessons. And I got to tell you, without those lessons, I need those lessons. Because even I always got out of it without kind of cheating and finding the ways out. You know what I mean? And my oldest ones, they really taught me the lessons.

It's like, you know, because I was never present. I was always like that. It's like, why are you guys complaining? You guys have everything you can imagine. Like, you know, the only thing they wanted, they wanted to spend time with me. Yeah. And I never, like, you know, I just did 100 miles on the bike. I'm tired.

I have this important phone call. There's something going on in my business. I always figure out something. I never want to be present. Yeah. And they want to just spend time with me, you know, because they love me. It's like, give me your time.

But I give time to everybody else, not to my kids. But most important, I always forget about myself. You know what I mean? You put yourself last. Yeah, I put myself last. Wow. And then the bucket here got emptier and emptier. And that's where the pain came.

And then, you know, and then the unconscious mind, conscious mind, they were going both directions. I always tell people the devil lives right here, and God and love lives right over here in the light. And it's funny, all my financial decisions, all my relationship decisions, any good decisions in my life, I made it from here. Wow. All the decisions. And then this is always screw up.

Really? Your brain? Yeah. Because we make decisions. Everything we make, all the decisions we make in our mind is based on the experience. You know, we perceive our reality the way we see it. And sometimes we have

to step out of ourselves and just give ourselves the opinion and give ourselves a different perspective. Interesting. And in the head, we always manipulate everything what is like, you know, we can manipulate it. In the heart, it's like, no, that's what I want to do.

That's true. It's easy to lie to yourself, you know. You can justify it. Yeah. People say the gut feeling is the thing. It is gut feeling. It's like, you know, it's right here. You feel it.

Yeah. And the best of the best of the deals, you know what I mean? And the best deals that I didn't do it, I took myself out of it in my head. I started overanalyzing, you know. Oh, now you're older. You got to overanalyze. I want this. That's it.

I'm like a little kid, three-year-old kid. I want this. I want this, you know, 100 units now. And then it's like, no. We have to do this, this. You know what I mean? Yeah, because your brain sees the numbers, right? And it looks good.

But then the business partner, your gut's telling you not to work with that person. Exactly. And then it ends up going bad. Exactly. Yeah, your gut's never wrong, man. Nope. Crazy.

Nope. There must be some like energy field or something that your gut can sense, you know? You know, the older inner work I do right now is I've done ayahuasca. My friend told me like,

I know you for like 20 years. I know you don't believe in any shortcuts you know like people around you they know like you freaking work hard and there's no shortcuts anything it's like but there's a shortcut i'm like dude don't say these words i'm in so much pain dude there is a shortcut so so i went to the ayahuasca experience i got out of it i'm like holy shit you know first of my like you know like really my soul my you know unconscious mind conscious mind the first they went to war like they went to war like constantly and then like you know after a few hours they start loving each other and they start

guiding her this direction we go in this direction we're going and that's when the peace came but i'm not gonna be on the medicine all the time right so it's like you know that's that's where the work the reading and surrounding with the right people and you know work started so it's a good experience it was definitely a good experience nice i've been considering taking it yeah so you'd recommend it i would highly recommend it okay yeah you got to go to like brazil or something right peru well there's like i i did uh uh. Orlando. Yeah. Those are, you know, guys from Peru and from Costa Rica. And what I like, it's a husband and wife. So you have the masculine and feminine energy. Yeah.

So you kind of like connected with the nature and everything else. And I would highly recommend it. It definitely helped me. So. Did you leave your body? Yes. Seven times. Oh my me. Did you leave your body? Yes. Seven times. Oh, my gosh.

You took it seven times? Seven times. Holy crap. It was a few hours. The first few hours was horrendous. Wow. I purged a lot. The pain was unbelievable.

But what happened is, he kept telling me, you have to bury the old addict. Like, he's not serving you. He's like, you know what I mean? And it's funny that then when you go to the conscious mind and then you got out of the medicine and the life starts, you're like, I like that. I don't like that.

And then, you know, at least you have something that can rely in the back of your head. You know? That's cool, man. Did you see aliens? No. No no i really see myself i i i saw all the pain i went through like a childhood like i i wasn't even aware of all the stuff that happened to me wow i was like i you know because we remember the story we tell ourselves

yeah you know but suddenly all the experience that i was like oh my god i never even remembered that this is like a lot of past pain uh i remember from like when i was two years old three years old wow like the last memory i always have is was like when i was seven and during the medicine uh it was truly like i was two three years old dang you know like i like even a year like it really went went down yeah i don't remember anything before like six, seven. Yeah. But there's some trauma because you're still registering that emotional trauma, right? When you're that little.

So you don't even know that you have it. Brother, we carry a lot of wounds, man. Yeah. And it's like, you know, when you start doing the inner work. And it's funny when you share what you do and like, you know, when you share stuff, you learn a lot about yourself. And when you listen to the other people, you're like, oh, my God. I never even think of that. Yeah.

I give myself, like, I surround myself with a lot of people, and I try to get out of my head. You know what I mean? And to give myself perspective from, you know, other people. Yeah, this podcast has been amazing for my self-development, honestly. You know, because I never used to talk to people about my problems. Like, I was pretty anti-therapy. I didn't believe in it.

But I think talking is important. Yeah, because as guys, you want to keep that shit bottled in, you know? It's looked at as weak. Exactly. You're weak, you're soft, you know? It's like, what are you talking. You're weak. You're soft. You know, like, what are you talking about? Like, you're a man. You know that I never cried?

Really? Never, ever. Not one time? Listen, never, ever I did not cry. This was a point of weakness. When I met Raul and he went through the process, I started crying eight times a day damn I'm like and you know the story that man crying is weak nope it's it's it just releases the emotions that you you

don't carry you know otherwise so me by kind of releasing my tears what it does it's better to release the tears than lose my temper on somebody else who doesn't deserve it because if people do something if they don't do it that the stuff doesn't trigger because of them the stuff triggers you inside that it's a trauma or wound that you didn't resolve it but you see in other people you know i mean yeah so yeah that's important he doesn't work hard enough this is like, because I cheat, you know, I find a way. So it's like, you know, and it's like you see the stuff like, you know. Absolutely.

Expectations. Did you interview Patrick Bet-David? No, he's my neighbor. Oh, he's your neighbor. Yeah. Okay, I saw a video, I think, on your YouTube with him. We are neighbors. Got it.

Yeah, we live. He moved in to my island, I think, three years ago. You got a $20 million house, right? Yeah. Something crazy? Yeah. Wow. That's a good neighbor to have.

That's a good neighbor. I surround myself with good people. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I have Leo Messi parking and knocking on my door. What? Can I park my cars over here? Wow.

Yeah, I put Leo Messi in our island, you know, put the deal together. So the guy, he was going to buy my house. And then because I have a master bedroom on the main floor, and he got three boys, and all the kids' bedroom was on the second floor, you know, they didn't want to buy a house. So we showed him my friend's house, and my friend was like, well, I sell it to you by my house so we put all the deals together that's smart yeah wait so you sold your house yes oh so you're not

neighbors with patrick anymore no i have four houses over there you know on this island and i live uh like a two blocks oh wow so we're still neighbors dang not not like you know like yeah yeah now i'm building a house two houses down from him nice so four houses there so you really like that area yeah you saw a lot of potential in it that's my business yeah real estate that's how you made all your money right yeah how do you uh get into that was it from grand cardone or someone oh no no no no no i i you know what is again it's a story talking to people okay uh this was like i have a one one conversation it was 90 95 i was the last year of college and i live upstate new york and it was one conversation at that time was my

girlfriend family uh and and they said they live uh in the fullplex they rent three of them and they uh and they live in one and i'm like what and i you know we got home and there live in one. And I'm like, what? And we got home. It was the one conversation. We got home and I told my girlfriend at that time, hey, we're getting married. We told everybody no gifts, just money. And we're going to use the money and I'm going to sell everything we have

because I was buying and selling cars. Because I was like a waiter. I was working in restaurants and selling house, I mean cars. Yeah. Because I was like a waiter. I was working in restaurants and selling cars. So I'm going to sell all the cars and everything else and I'm going to buy a fourplex. I have no idea. I thought the only thing I'm going to buy,

I'm going to buy a fourplex, live in one of the units and the three people are going to pay for my rent, for my mortgage, and I'm done. Yeah. Then the fourplex becomes second fourplex, then the third fourplex, then the fourplexes become 12 units, 17 units, then 50 units, then 100 units, then 200, then 1,000, 2,000. Jeez.

And then the game just never stopped. Wow. What about the 08 crash? Did that affect you? I always tell people that I win lottery in 2008. Yeah? Yeah. How did you stay clear of that?

Because a lot of people got wrecked. Well, here's what happened is when I bought all the stuff in real estate in 2001, 2002, and I have, I don't know, gut feeling again. I was like, everybody, it's too late. It's too late. I was in Denver, Colorado. It's too late. It's too late. I was in Denver, Colorado. It's too late. It's too late.

So I started doing foreclosures. So I prepared for the crush. I did not time it right, of course, because by 2006, I was having all the, started raising money for everybody and the crush wasn't happening. And then when 2008 crush happened, I started buying everything for like, you know, for like

a 10 cents on a dollar. 10 cents on a dollar? Yeah. So I did not even sell any of my properties. But suddenly when I bought my properties, like my fourplexes, for example, at $60,000, $70,000 a door, suddenly I was buying 100 units at $10,000, $17,000 a door. Wow. So I knew I cannot be wrong.

Like, I knew I i cannot be wrong like i knew i can be wrong and then you know after that after the crash you know i did so good because then the market went up so i bought everything i can put my hands on and i retired again in 2010. oh so you're retired well i retire many times man but i retired so many times and it's like and that's what the mental bottle bottle started because you know instead of like because we as a man we do we do need a purpose right without purpose we're dying the money you can get the money that the money doesn't give you any happiness if you don't have a purpose you're done facts so you know i mean so then what happened is oh i want to have more kids

you know it's like when you quit smoking you're gonna start drinking when you quit drinking you're gonna start smoking or start eating more. We substitute our addictions. And people that are successful people, they're addicts. Any successful person I know, they're an addict. And I'm an addict. But now we can use it in a good direction or a bad direction. And so then I have two more kids.

Because I missed it. Because my oldest ones, I was always working. I was like, I work 20, 22 hours a day. Damn. I was falling on a desk and then going back to work. And then suddenly I have all the time in the world, so let's have more kids. And then that took two years.

Okay, I'm bored. Okay, let's start doing Ironmans. So now training. So then I came and started training, like overtraining. One Ironman, second, then start winning competitions, start winning everything, and then ski exit happened. And so we just substitute for another addiction. Yeah, I don't think I'll ever retire, man.

Even if I have $100 million, $1 billion, I don't think I'll retire retire man yeah even if I have a hundred million a billion I don't think I'll retire you will not I love working yeah like doing this is so fun I feel so fulfilled I'm getting

yeah that's like you see that's what I because you find your purpose in fulfillment yeah and I'm telling you when you find a purpose

it's like and it's funny like when I was going through my journey and then people said wow find something what you love find something what you love and I was the first douchebag like shut said, wow, find something what you love. Find something what you love. And I was the first douchebag. Like, shut the fuck up.

It's like, dude, you got to make money. What are you talking about? Like, you know, find something you love. And I realized that you can make money and you'll be miserable. And like at 20, like my journey, like literally 20 years, like I was always miserable. You know, because it's like at one at one point it's like okay you got 10 million then you got 100 million then you have 200 million it it just doesn't it doesn't fulfill you anymore you know you need to have something that you know they have that infinite

game so never stops absolutely you know and you definitely found the right thing i found it yeah this this platform being able to share messages like yours and seeing the comments and the messages I get daily now, saving people's lives. There's been a couple suicides we've stopped that I know of. It's powerful, man. I feel really fulfilled. You touched the subject.

Sorry, I'm getting this wrong. When you get to the level of suicide, you really, your mind, you disconnect. You literally hear the voices that were never in your head. And you're like, where is this coming from? And you become so delusional that you really, your reality is the voice. And the problem is that the voice that we created. And it's hard to get out if

you like like the first thing if anybody think of suicide or any even start start even even have those thoughts and i'm not saying go to freaking therapist talk to somebody talk to your friends talk to talk to somebody just don't hide it it's like when you just get this stuff out it's it's that's where the the first step starts right and but like like i was like i didn't want to even tell what i'm going through because that would be he's weak but but my voice the the longer i waited the voice got so loud and so clear that I was scared of the voice. Wow. And I know it wasn't mine. Like, I know I was so delusional that I believe in the bullshit I'm telling myself.

Like, suddenly you believe the bullshit story you're telling yourself. And if I'm on the top of the mountains and i have those issues what about if people that have real problems because i have no problem at all when when 2022 happened uh i just got out of toxic toxic uh relationship toxic divorce i you know i made so much money during covet i mean i like it's sick because you know, when COVID happened, like, all the real estate just boom, right? Yeah. I find a queen of my life. I have a good relationship with my kids.

I mean, I have everything. But yet, I'm empty inside. And the voices, I just believe those voices. And truly, I believe in the voices. And I couldn't believe it how delusional I was. Wow. And until I started like hey i think i have a problem you know i don't drink i don't do drugs like i like there's something like you

know i mean and i think and and somebody some people laugh it's like dude you don't have a problem i'm like don't tell me i do have a problem but thank god i already have the tools i have the coaches i have everybody you know i mean so they at least they took it serious right and they just walked me through that brotherhood yeah the brotherhood that's powerful because if we're not part of the you know when when you in the like in the in the tribe because we got to be part of something you know like even and you don't i'm talking about men because you know we are men and'm men, so I don't know how women think. But if you kind of feel that you're part of something and you know you're in the tribe or brotherhood that you can be vulnerable and nobody's going to judge you,

it's got easier. And then you know when you're not alone. Because sometimes, like I love my queen, but there's some stuff you cannot tell. There's some stuff that we got to, you know like i love my my my my my queen but there's some stuff you cannot tell yeah yeah you know i mean there's some stuff that we gotta you know and when you have somebody you can really like vent and you know the venting you're not gonna be criticized for it or you're not gonna be judged for it and then it's like hey why do we how do we resolve this and then we just move on and it's and and suddenly even in even if somebody talk about his problem,

like you said, you create this platform, right? But in the brotherhood, and he's like, is he fucking with me? He's talking about me. This is what I'm like,

this is my voice. And then you get the lessons, how they deal with this stuff and then we develop. Agreed. But we got to be part of the group. We cannot, you cannot do anything alone.

Yeah. Without relationships, like, you know, I mean, without even like relationship with Sam, We cannot, you cannot do anything alone. Yeah. Without relationships, like, you know, I mean, without even like relationship with Sam 14 years, I wouldn't be here.

I wouldn't be here. Yeah. And you know, it's funny, like we talk, we cry, we just, we just,

we just do everything. It's like, hey, you know. I love that. Yeah. Brotherhood has changed my life too. Yeah.

I joined one when I was 21 and these guys took me under their wing and it changed everything for me. It's important to be around guys like that okay tell me about your brother it's a mastermind uh dan fleishman's mastermind 100 million mastermind and um i was the brokest one there i was the but i was also the youngest so they liked that young energy you know so they took me under their wing and now i'm best friends with some of those guys six years later yeah yeah i always tell you surround yourself with the five alcoholics you become the sixth one you you surround yourself with the five cyclists you're gonna be the sixth one you surround yourself with the like five visionaries you're gonna be the sixth one you

you surround yourself with the five millionaires you're gonna be the sixth one and it's like you really it's like finding and being a part of it and getting the advices you know sometimes i get advice just i didn't even ask for it and it's like oh thank you i gotta go brother like whoa what did i say you did something thank you bye bye bye and it's like you know like right away text my office or it's like hey hey you know that's. You know, that's what I thought. You take action. Yeah. That's why you're successful, man. Yarek, it's been cool. Anything you want to, I know you got a book. Anything else you want to promote or close off with?

No, just my book and just, you know, just bring that awareness to emotional fitness and the mental. Because we all go through the struggle and just share the message and just open up and just, you know. And I know that we're scared. As a man, we scared, but it feels good. Yeah, powerful. We'll link your Instagram below and your book. Thanks for coming on, man.

Thank you. Yeah, thanks for watching guys. As always, I will see you tomorrow.