Digital Social Hour - Speaking on Tony Robbins Stage & Meeting The Rock and Dan Bilzerian | Nick Santonastasso #267

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

Nick Santonastasso comes on the show to discuss his rough childhood of being bullied and not feeling wanted, how he speaks on the biggest stages in the world and the secrets to his positive mindset. APPLY TO BE ON THE PODCAST: https://forms.gle/qXvENTeurx7Xn8Ci9 BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [e-mail] SPONSORS: Opus Pro: https://www.opus.pro/?via=DSH Deposyt Payment Processing: https://www.deposyt.com/seankelly LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why don't people leave 9 to 5s because they don't think they can make the money, they don't think they can acquire a skill set to make more. Why do people stay in a relationship that's okay? It's because they don't believe that they can get someone of a higher value, right? Why don't people put out the content and they're scared? Because they don't think they're worth it, they don't think anyone will like it, right? So our success is directly correlated to our confidence and our self-worth. Wherever you guys are watching this show, I would truly appreciate it if you follow or subscribe. It helps a lot with the algorithm. It helps us get bigger

and better guests, and it helps us grow the team. Truly means a lot. Thank you guys for supporting, and here's the episode. All right. Welcome back to the show, guys. Got with me a legend in the building, Nick Santanastasso. Did I pronounce that right? You crushed it. Let's let's go i was worried about that but i'm glad i got it right well done got a complicated name of course man you're you're a true inspiration appreciate that so many guys that really uh get me going like inspirationally we're gonna get you going yeah we're gonna get everybody going we're ready to rock you're one of those guys man you just spoke on stage in front of 2 000 people i did yeah thank god they liked me. I'm just kidding. You know, I think, I think stages is one of the most impactful ways to get your message out there.

You know, one of the greatest beliefs that I can install on people is there's, there's people out there ready to pay you hand over fist. They just don't know you exist. Yeah. Right. And so most of this thing is an exposure thing. And so for me getting on stages, even when I started off my brand six years ago, getting on stages or podcasts or Instagram Lives was my way to exercise the muscle of getting better at articulating and also get in front of audiences. It's like oftentimes people think

they need a big audience to make an impact, but it's like, can I find someone who has an audience and has a stage that they would benefit from my message? And can I get on there, provide value, and whoever likes me, likes me? So we did that in San Diego with Aspire. What was pretty cool is six years ago, I sat in Gary Vaynerchuk's office, and I got six minutes with him. And I was like, I'm going to be the greatest speaker in the world. And he didn't really know who I was, and he didn't really care.

He was like, okay, God bless you, kid. Good luck. And in San Diego, Gary spoke and I closed. That's nuts. So full circle. It was a great moment. Did you get to catch up with him? He came off stage.

And I was getting ready to go on stage. And he came down and said, great to see you, kid. And I was like, great to see you. I'm about to go close it down. Let's go. Let's rock. So it was great. But thanks for having me.

I'm happy to be here. Absolutely. Dude, your journey's been ****. So it was great. But thanks for having me. I'm happy to be here. Absolutely. Dude, your journey has been... When I first moved to Vegas three years ago, you spoke at my first event. I did. 50 people. Yeah. And the fact that you're now speaking on stages with thousands, and you told me at that event

you were going to do that too. Did I? Yeah. Yeah, I talk a lot of... Right? But that was another prime example of I never turned down opportunities to speak. I never turned opportunities to share. I never turned opportunities to share insight. And that's, that's the biggest thing is a lot of the times people want to be good at marketing. They want to be good at podcasts.

I want to go to be at speaking. It's like, take every opportunity you can to get the reps in. I mean, like your journey is brilliant right it's like you started this show i don't how long ago uh nine months nine months ago and then it got a whole bunch of episodes got a whole bunch of reps and in every single interview you're going to get better at communicating articulating asking questions so it all comes with reps like the only thing that's standing in between you and the person that you want to become is they failed more than you did and they got a whole bunch of reps in yeah because i've done some research on you and you were an introvert growing up right i was i think i'm still introverted i'm a forced extrovert now okay i'm an introvert i think i think i was introverted

because i felt like no one liked me i felt like my body was a curse you know i didn't think girls liked me so i was i was very introverted and through like Vine, we can go through all of that, but through like Vine and pranking and becoming a content creator, I feel like you have to be this extrovert person. But even now, bro, it's like I'm on stage. I did 15,000 people with Tony Robbins in Miami Heat Arena.

It's like one second, there's 15,000 people in the audience screaming your name. And then 20 minutes later, you're in a hotel room alone. It's sketchy. It's a little weird, right? But also, I recharge by being alone.

I recharge by not hanging out, not doing anything, because I'm always on, bro. We're doing interviews. We're changing people's lives. We're doing seminars. We're coaching. And it's like, I just want some quiet. I just want to be by myself.

I'm an introvert, too, dude. A lot of, actually, successful people are. The more I've had guests on, most just want to be by myself. I'm an introvert too, dude. A lot of actually successful people are. The more I've had guests on, most of my guests are introverts. Yeah, what do you think it is? You know, I know Ed Milet's an introvert too. Is he? Yeah.

Dude, I would have never guessed that. He talks about that. Seriously? Yeah, he's like, most people think I'm extrovert, but I'm an introvert. Wow. And I think,

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out guys us at least for me for example is i built a lot of my success or a lot of this persona to prove that i was enough to people you know i think i had a just a deep trauma like a chip on my shoulder from being born with no legs one arm and everybody always doubting me that like i built this credibility in this brand and become an amazing speaker and all these accolades just to like bury the inner child you know like am i enough yet am i enough and i think there i think for a lot of successful people a lot of our success comes from trying to prove something yeah whether we want to prove it to our parents whether we want to prove it to girls when we probably prove it to our partner and then there gets to a point where

you have to shift and be like oh i'm proud of me you know like i don't need anybody else's permission or validation to fill me up it's like i'm just genuinely proud of myself and so i think there's a shift there um but i think a lot of us have built big things off wanting to be enough absolutely so when was that mental shift for you because growing up you're probably getting all this hate and all this doubt and it really ate at you. But then you sort of had to switch, right? Yeah.

So I didn't realize I was different, you know, like as like a child in like first grade, second grade, I didn't realize I was different. You know, I didn't realize that I had a wheelchair or the people were taller than me, all those different things. And I think my big realization that i was different was in middle school you know like if we reflect back now or anyone listening it's like middle school kids are savages bro like we remember like our dorky nerdy selves and there's a lot of judgment and there's cliques and girlfriends and boyfriends and i what i my belief or my hallucination was it just like

girls didn't like me that i wasn't loved, you know? And based on specific experiences that we have, we develop beliefs about who we are and what we're capable of. Right. So for example, it's like if you do a podcast, like say one of your first podcasts, right? And like you interview someone and you're so excited. And at the end, they're like, bro, you're a terrible host. You may get in your head and be like, maybe I shouldn't do this. For sure. Right. Like, should I continue the podcast should i keep interviewing people but it'd be

a totally different experience and totally different beliefs of after your first podcast he was like bro you have this like natural talent to just communicate and ask questions like you're amazing how would that make you feel right right so you'd have a different belief so based off beliefs we develop you know based off experiences we develop beliefs about who we are. So there was a specific moment where a girl made fun of me, you know, on the bus, like in a very direct, harsh way. And I started to believe her. I was like, well, maybe she's right. What'd she say? up anyway like look at you right i'm 13 years old and so i started to believe like maybe i am screwed up you know maybe i am disgusting maybe maybe she's right maybe girls don't like me i'll probably never and then and then what tends to happen with psychology you look at the brain is have you ever had a moment where you woke up on the wrong side of the bed yeah we've all have

right if you're not conscious of your thoughts and what you're focusing on your whole day will be negative right you'll be like traffic sucks why do i live in vegas i gotta do this interview i hate this person right you just start we call it stacking so you can stack in a negative way and you can stack in a positive way so when that girl said that to me i started to stack in a negative way like you name it i'm disgusting girls don't like me i'll never go to my junior prom i'll never go to my senior prom i'll never have a wife i'll never have a girlfriend i'm useless like you know like that's how we dig ourselves into into a dark hole and that pain of not being accepted by women was the leverage that that catapulted me to change right like what we need to understand is that humans will change for two reasons.

We either change for pain or we'll change for pleasure. But when you look at psychology, humans will always run away from pain faster than they'll run towards pleasure. That's why we don't start going to the gym until the doctor says like, you're gonna die. We don't leave the relationship until they become physically abusive

or emotionally abusive, right? We may not start the business or the podcast until we hit rock bottom where we're like, I got to do this thing. You may not fire the employee until they destroy the whole culture. Right. Right. And so oftentimes as humans, we need to hit a pain threshold in order to change. Right.

But you don't always need to wait for the pain to change. But typically, most of our success and people watching this like your success came from pain of you trying to run away from pain so for me the pain of not being accepted by women and not having girlfriends and all my god all my friends have boyfriends and girlfriends like that ate at me that made me feel inadequate that made me feel not enough and that's because ultimately i didn't have a great relationship with myself, right? Like I wasn't confident, I was insecure. And I think regardless of having no legs of an arm or all your arms and limbs,

every single guy, every single girl can relate to not feeling confident, feeling insecure. But the only reason why we feel unconfident or why we feel insecure is typically because we're focused on what we don't have versus what we do have. Typically, we're focusing on what's wrong versus what's right. So, for example, if a guy gets rejected by a girl, he'll probably start focusing on like, is it my teeth? Is it my hair? Why didn't she like me? I'm not strong strong enough maybe i don't have the muscles um i don't have game whatever it is right and so he's focusing on what's wrong versus like what makes me an amazing dude what makes me an amazing woman why did they miss out right right and you see the shift of the focus or it's like what would make me more confident is it getting in the gym is it learning new skills is it healing trauma but ultimately how others treat us is a reflection of how we treat ourself absolutely right yeah and so i'm babbling but the the pain of women

catapulted me into either taking my life or upgrading my psychology damn that's very polar opposites and how long did it take you to get that first girl that first woman in your life um i started wrestling and so that was like so my older brother was a wrestler all my best friends friends were wrestlers and my whole intention was like if i could become a wrestler girls will like me right i'll be labeled as an athlete i'll be i'll be this this you know this so that was the main reason you went into wrestling i would say right right like look look we and we can get into it too it's like after that i started bodybuilding like some people may know me from a picture that the rock posted with me where i was shredded and we were we were lifting together right i started bodybuilding for girls and it and it it acted

as a great purpose in the meantime, but it wasn't sustainable. Anytime that you put your purpose in those external things, it's not sustainable. It may get you a result, and you may get some success, but long term, it won't last. That's the same thing in entrepreneurship, right? It's like if the very reason you started this podcast

was solely to make money, you wouldn't have 300 or whatever it is. You would have failed. You wouldn't have done all the interviews. You wouldn't invite all the people. You wouldn't be so passionate about it. There's a deep, meaningful reason of why you do this podcast. But if it was just money, the show wouldn't be the show.

Does that make sense? Yep. So wrestling, my main intention was to get girls. But I also wanted to feel good. And my intention was if I could be an athlete, when everybody's like, oh, he's disabled, if I could become an athlete, that would be badass. And not only an athlete, if I could become a wrestler,

that's really cool. I viewed wrestlers as super cool. So I pursued wrestling. And there's a whole story about me like chopping this arm off and having to wrestle if we want to go into it but um my older brother was a wrestler all my best friends are wrestlers and i was like man this is going to change my life and so i sat my parents down i was like listen mom and dad like i want to become a wrestler and they're like there's no way right at the time this arm a little potato here at the time this arm was five inches

longer than it is now and my bone was going faster than my skin so it was super sensitive and the bottom line is if i would have hit my arm hard enough my bone when it came through my skin whoa right so it was very sensitive i couldn't do physical activities with it and i told my parents i was like can we cut my arm off and like what do you mean cut your arm off i was like yeah like aren't there surgeries or something that we can do like it's hurting me i want to become a wrestler i know it's going to change my life like can we do it and they accepted my my proposal and so i didn't do it of course and my parents didn't cut my arm off but my sophomore year we scheduled the appointment for the doctors

to amputate my arm so they lasered five inches of the bone off and then they pulled a skin from up on my shoulder over my arm so i could beat people up with it you know and so i was like yo doc i'm gonna have to beat someone over the head with this like you better make sure you do a good job wow and so my sophomore year did the surgery came back to school the happiest kid that just cut his arm off and junior year i was a jv varsity jv wrestler and then senior year i was a varsity wrestler for my high school amazing but that gave me confidence yeah right and like let's break this down right because i'm a i'm a firm believer that you will never make more than you think you're worth are you interested in coming on the digital social hour podcast as a guest we'll click the application link below in the description of this video we are

always looking for cool stories cool entrepreneurs to talk to you about business and life click the application link below and here's the episode guys why don't people leave nine to fives because they don't think they can make the money they don't think they can acquire a skill set to make more right right it's like why do people stay in a relationship that's they that don't they it's okay it's because they don't believe that they can get someone of a higher value right why don't you why don't people put out the content and they're scared because they don't believe that they can get someone of a higher value, right? Why don't you why don't people put out the content and they're scared because they don't think they're worth it They don't think anyone would like it, right? So our success is directly correlated to Our confidence and our self-worth, right? Now how you build confidence and how you build self-worth the very simple strategy is just do what you say you're going to do

What tends to happen is we make promises all the time i'm going to go to the gym i'm gonna start going to the gym five days a week right or i'm gonna start i'm gonna start posting content every single day and they get all fired up about it and next thing you know they break the promise now on an unconscious level every single time that you make a promise and you break it you're diminishing your own self-worth you're like the boy who cried podcast the boy who cried breakthrough the boy who cried breakthrough the girl who cried six-pack it's like you did a lot of talking you've made all these promises but you've lied to yourself so much where you can't even believe your word anymore not only can other

people not believe your word but when you say like i'm gonna start a podcast in the back of your head you're like you know you ain't gonna do it i know you know people like does that make sense yeah right so you can start building confidence by simply making promises, following through on them, and then celebrating the fact that you did what you say you're going to do. Yeah. Right? And so I became a wrestler and that catapulted me. Oh, you talked about women.

The question was like, did you get a first girl? Was it high school or after? High school. Nice. High school, technically, yeah, first girlfriend. And it was evidence. what do you mean the brain is the best detective in the world and it's always going to try to find evidence to prove yourself right right so if you have a belief that i have bad luck you ever hear people like i just get the

short end of the stick all the time they will always I just get the short end of the stick. Yeah, all the time. They will always find themselves with the short end of the stick or they will create it to prove themselves right. Facts, for sure. Or always have terrible bosses. Well, even if you leave a job and you go into another job that's great, you will make the boss terrible to prove yourself right. Yeah. Right?

So by me getting my first girlfriend gave me evidence that i was lovable it gave me evidence that maybe not all girls like no legs of an arm but there's some girls out there that wouldn't mind it does that make sense it gave me evidence and so whether this is relationships whether this is business whether this is life we're looking for evidence right like i bet you when you had your first podcast and they loved it you're like evidence it's doing something yep right it's like when you post a piece of content and someone comments like this was really powerful you're like it works but are you willing to persist long enough to get the evidence are you willing to post the show long enough until someone likes it are you willing to persist long enough to get the evidence? Are you willing to post the show long enough

until someone likes it? Are you willing to post the content until you get the following? Are you willing to follow up with a girl long enough until she finally goes out with you? You know what I'm saying? Most people aren't willing to suck long enough to be great at something.

Definitely not. Yeah, you got to really persevere. That's my long-winded answer. No, that's bars, man. I mean, most people won't sacrifice months, sometimes even years, to get where they want to be at. And I've done it.

I felt victim of that too. It's like, post a couple of shows and you're like, eh, I'm going to try something else. And I think when you look at success, whether it's you or other successful shows or anyone, they've been way consistent before anybody knew who they were. Yeah. Like, bro, you've been grinding. Yeah. But you've you've been grinding like you've been building for a very long time you were you were

the one of the youngest entrepreneurs i was like yo this guy's young with jersey like all that stuff right and there's a season of your life where preparation meets opportunity it's like you may have not known it but you've been preparing your whole life for this show to blow up the way it did i have to agree you know what i'm saying it wasn't like planned but i know it wasn't planned but like you've become the type of man that can handle this show blowing up and being able to rip content and like all these scheduled interviews right it's like the same thing for me it's like i've been speaking and dedicated my life to psychology and communication for six years but i feel like finally six years in i'm finally at a point where like everybody in the circuit's like

yo that guy can spit that guy's that guy can transform lives that guy can sell from state whatever it is so it's like six years of preparation where i'm not like the biggest and i'm still not the biggest but it meets opportunity and i'm ready for the opportunity because i've been prepared. Right. So for those that are listening, like maybe your show is not blown up. Maybe no one knows who you are.

Maybe no one's buying your products. It's like, put your head down, become a master and dig your well deep of knowledge in like a few things. And eventually you will be rewarded. Absolutely. Yeah, it takes time. People don't see that. I just saw that Matt Reif kid.

People thought he blew up overnight. He's been doing standup for 10 years. People didn't see that. I mean, I just saw that Matt Rife kid. People thought he blew up overnight. He's been doing stand-up for 10 years. People didn't even know that. Overnight success. Yeah, overnight success, right? And you've mentioned the biggest disability you can have is a bad mindset. 100%. And that's coming from you, so that's such a powerful statement.

100%. What did you mean when you said that? Well, why does a man with no legs of an arm have more do more in life than guys with all their legs and all their arms i don't have bigger muscles than you i'm not stronger than you i ain't taller than you i have a different set of psychology and a different set of beliefs oftentimes we think it's a strategy game oftentimes Oftentimes we think it's a tool game, a tactic game. But in reality,

the most successful people just have a specific belief system. They have psychology. They have an upgraded software system. So how many times have people gone to a seminar? Or how many times have you listened to an interview,

you got someone to share strategies, and then you did nothing with them? Another aggressive example I give people is how many of you know how to share strategies and then you did nothing with them right another aggressive example i give people is like how many of you know how to lose weight right you clean up what you eat you move your body and the weight comes off it's not that complex right we now the gary brekker we can get like deep right but it's like you know how to lose weight why don't you lose weight it's not the it's not it's not the tactics that gets in the way you already know what to do yeah it's the same reason why in every single company you can give people the same book of

business you can give them the same strategies and how to close deals but only a few will close why is that because it's psychology so most people have all their arms and all their legs yet they were handicapped and crippled by their upbringing crazy and and so what does that mean right like most of our beliefs were cultivated between zero and seven years old or zero and ten years old because your brain was in theta state it's very suggestible meaning like you popped out and your parents whoever said dog and you said dog right they said cat you said cat and then they came over here and said you can't afford that you're like i can't afford that you know what i'm saying and so at an early age you pick up on these thoughts and you pick up on these beliefs from

your surrounding right if you were born into a family where your family your your mom and dad built their own companies you wouldn't think twice about building your own company right you'd be like oh that's possible i've seen it my whole life but like for example for me like my parents didn't build companies they they you know they worked a job so i didn't know any of this stuff and so we are handicapped and crippled by our psychology the stories and the beliefs that we tell ourselves and most of your success in business and entrepreneurship won't come from learning new things it'll be coming from unlearning all the bs they taught you wow that's a powerful statement man but it's so true because all the unlearning your whole childhood

you're just kind of going through the motions not questioning anything really no you just believe everything right it's like big boys don't cry okay i won't cry i'll soothe big girls don't cry okay i don't know how to deal with my emotions but also we have to have compassion for people because as humans we only know what we know right we only know what we've been taught and so then we can turn around we can point fingers at our parents like oh they didn't teach me this they didn't teach me that well my friend your parents are doing the best they can with what they knew in their current conditioning it was trickled down for sure it's one thing for you to be be born into a poor mindset but if you die with a poor mindset that's on you that's on you right

like our whole goal is to break the chains right like i'm i'm very passionate about being i call a lineage leader the one in the lineage that breaks the chains financial chains trauma chains healing chains all of the chains and if i choose to have kids they won't have to go through the trauma because i healed it but oftentimes bro like we don't deal with our stuff and then we expect to have kids and like pass it on to them like what are we doing yeah and then there's so many limiting beliefs and excuses that get passed on yeah and it's like dude that's just a belief 100 and and so that's what i mean when biggest disability is a bad mindset because you can have all your legs, all your arms. You can have no legs and no arms.

But there's no reason, the only reason why a man with no legs of an arm has a more grand life than some humans with all their legs and all their arms is because of my mind. This is a mind game, bro. We're in the Matrix, right? It's all Jedi stuff up here. Now, do you believe in forgiving everyone? So that middle school bully

girl did you ever reach out to her that's a great question um i haven't reached out to her but as i've elevated like my my consciousness is elevated and i've evolved as a man i wish i could go back and hug her wish i can go back and hug her. Wish I could go back and hug that little girl because she must have been going through something so harsh internally or maybe at home that she had to take it out on a little boy with no legs and one arm. And so one of the greatest things that I've learned

is having compassion and having forgiveness. And understanding that hurt people hurt people. That's the bottom line. If someone's going shade if someone's gonna throw stones it's like yo they're struggling right so you can almost have compassion be like you know God God bless you like you must be going through some stuff yeah right and so I haven't reached out to her but I've forgiven you know and you know internally if you're watching this he forgives you yeah hey you're probably not no I'm just kidding you're probably not because no i'm just kidding but that's but that's what i'd say is forgiveness and compassion is really key and it's not even for her it's for me

right like there's a really really amazing tool it's called blaming elegantly or blaming effectively and what that means is oftentimes as humans we will blame others for all the terrible things in our life but if you're going to blame someone for all the terrible things in your life you better blame them for all the good as well it's not a one-way street right right so you may blame your dad for not raising you a specific way but i'm sure you could thank him because because of the way that he showed up you are a certain way that's powerful right right like say your dad wasn't there like say you were a young kid and your dad wasn't there like the very reason why you're a great man is because you didn't have

one so you can actually thank him for that right but most people aren't ready for their blessing like that most people aren't ready to heal from that stuff they want to stay angry they want to stay blaming but everything has two sides there's negative things that happen to you with that person and there's positive things so everybody watching right now like if you're holding resentment or anger or negative emotions towards someone you can blame effectively in the sense of writing a letter making a phone call sending an email sending a text and saying hey i may not agree with everything in the past but because you were in your you were in my life i want to thank you for this and this and that and this even if it's extremely hard to do which it will be

and you send that text you make that phone call you send that letter and it's not even about the response i don't even care if they give you response it's about your liberation that person no longer has power over you dude that's so powerful yeah that's one of my biggest fears i don't want to leave this world with any regret any beef any drama i want it all laid out there you know 100 and that that's the work that most people don't do no you know i saw what happened with my dad man i mean he had a really bad falling out with his parents and he never forgave them his whole life. And it ate at him. Because you know that,

you're aware. And that's why you are the man. You're like, yo, I don't want to have any beef. I don't want to have any regrets. So actually his trauma saved you trauma. That's true. It did. You know what I'm saying? And so don't harbor the emotions. You're only killing yourself, bro. and by the way to be honest the

most people that you're holding regrets on they ain't thinking about you they ain't thinking about you they're holding a bunch of real estate in your head they're in your head but they ain't thinking about you so you might as well liberate yourself yeah but that's the thing bro not everybody's ready ready to receive their blessing and that's totally okay you know i tell people on stage i said my mouth will be moving and i'll be talking but not every one of you in here is going to receive a blessing that's totally okay you it'll come when you're at the right place at the right time when you're ready to heal um but we're not taught this bro no one teaches us that's why i love the work that i do is i wasn't taught how to deal with trauma i wasn't taught how to be emotionally intimate i wasn't taught how to have deep meaningful

conversations like i had to learn those skills on my on. And so we're all inner childs just in adult bodies. I'm still small, but we're all like inner childs just in adult bodies, and there's a lot of things that we haven't healed. And so a lot of you listening right now, like, yeah, you won the money game. You lost the healing game, bro. And because you lost the healing game, you're going to trickle that down to your next girl, the next boy, your daughter, your son.

I want to win all games. And so if right now you got the money and you're still a little bit empty, start going into the healing game. It takes a true man and a true woman to say, I'm struggling with this, I need help. But we think asking for help is weak. We think getting coaches is weak. We think having people have deep, meaningful conversations and talking about childhood trauma is weak.

But it takes a real man and a real woman to say, I'm stuck, I have trauma, or I'm struggling, I have challenges, I need help. And I'm okay with that. Yeah, there's a negative stigma with men expressing their emotions, it seems like. Yeah, there's a negative stigma with men expressing in their emotions, it seems like. Yeah, it's very interesting, right?

I think we were taught by men who didn't know how to deal with their emotions. Yep. Right? And so if, you know, like, by the way, I love my parents. If you're watching, I love you. Right?

Did some great things. But like, my dad's a hard a**. Right? It's like, my dad's hard. And why was he hard? Because hard because his dad was hard you know his dad was real hard right right so my dad was never taught how to deal with that stuff my dad was never taught how to communicate potentially love my dad was never taught how to have deep meaningful conversations or communicate through feelings no one taught him that and so remember we adopt beliefs so it's like oh just be a man suck it up it's like yeah that's why suicide rates are the highest depression in men is the

highest because everyone's telling us to suck it up in society and we have no one to go to and so we just soothe and stack and stack and we never deal with the root cause yeah why do you think the reason listen if you're vaping if you're smoking if you're drinking if you're addicted to whatever it is you are doing it to escape the feeling that you're not dealing with and ultimately under the feeling there's a root cause yeah so are you willing to do the hard work most people don't they'll just drown it out they'll just smoke it away they'll just drink it away they'll just watch it away you know and so there is a there is a stigma and for example like my brother a couple years ago passed away from a overdose and maybe he

thought asking for help was weak i don't know right but like i said it takes a strong grounded man and a strong grounded woman to say i I need help. Yeah. Like that's the most vulnerable, authentic you can be like you're raw. And guess what? People laugh at you for asking for help, but like, good. That's weak. It's weak people, you know? Yeah. No, this hits deep, man. Cause I remember when I moved to LA from Jersey, I was 22 or 23 and my dad never told me he loved me like my whole life. like he didn't know how to express emotions right and i still remember this so vividly dude we're packing up my apartment and he gave me like a hug he's never given me a hug before and like we just both start crying dude

because both of us never really knew how to express emotion or we thought it was weak to do it yeah so that just hit deep and now when i have kids one day you know i'm definitely going to be there emotionally for them all in right yeah and i bet you in that moment he was like i wish i would have done this sooner for sure and you were like i wish i would have known this sooner i didn't even know he loved we don't it's tough because he didn't know how to show it yeah and that's the thing is, our parents, ready for this? We may have beliefs of like, they didn't love me or they didn't care for me. They loved you, but not in the ways that you wanted to be loved.

They loved you in all the ways, but not the ways that you wanted to be loved. When dad's yelling at me, ultimately he wants to protect me. He loves me. But you don't correlate yelling with loving right or sometimes they don't even know how to express love so all they do is yell and so that's their form of love right my mom feeds me or my dad cooks me a meal it's like that's not saying i love you but that's his love language he gives it that way so it's like oftentimes we have these stories or this perception of our childhood that we weren't loved but the truth is they loved you in all the ways that you didn't want to be

loved no that's because maybe because maybe they didn't know how to love so far and they didn't know how to love yeah and no even with my mom too she watches all these episodes so she's probably watching this shout out mom shout out to moms man but dude with asians you know it's tough love they won't tell you directly but culture they'll show it through actions right so i still remember the first time she told me she loved me was like maybe two years ago on the phone and i froze up right wow i didn't know how to react and i realized she showed me love through just taking care of me and putting me in the right situations not verbally yeah but she loved me a lot obviously but i literally froze up on the phone i'm like what'd you say yeah and now we

tell each other every call we love each other so beautiful that took a lot of healing 24 25 years 24 25 years to say that and guess what in that moment the bloodline changed in that defining moment where someone steps up or someone does something uncomfortable your kids will never be the same because of that moment yeah just because that one moment right but ultimately like to to put a little bow on this is like guys and girls like we weren't taught and especially like our biggest misconception as kids is that we think our our parents had had their together like you think adults have their together no adults don't have this we're just figuring it out we're in we're don't have this we're just figuring it

out we're in we're in earth school we're all just figuring it out yeah right and then also being intentional and communicating like hey i receive love this way do you think you could like love on me this way right you know it's the same thing in relationships you get in relationships and someone does you know someone gives love in a specific way but it's not the way that you receive love it's like that needs to be communicated so you guys can meet your needs so you can meet your your love needs right but most of our things can be resolved through communication and having having those hard conversations and like especially in relationships like ladies men that spark and that intimacy and that like crazy

sexual energy that you want is on the other side of difficult conversations. After you heal some crazy things, there's going to be crazy intimacy on the other side. I'm just saying, right? Take it from someone who knows how to heal some trauma, right? Like, especially in relationships, on the other side of deep hard conversations there is some energy that you haven't witnessed in a very long time i agree i used to run away from all those conversations probably the first few years of my relationship but i just sucked it up dude but i'm so glad i started conversating more with her about it because it's it's really changed our relationship i love that yeah and i love i love i love your growth you know i love like you're extremely

aware and i love that you're constantly improving and and healing things so you can be a better brother you could be a better son you could be a better um boyfriend all that different things and and that's the game you know like my friends we think changing a life is this big drastic overwhelming thing when when in reality in the big league it's a game of inches yep like just get an inch bro a little bit here a little bit there a little bit more emotional here a little bit more you know more communication over here like just small shifts that compound over time until one day you look look in the mirror you're like damn i like this person yeah and it's a work in progress right we're still changing right now we'll never we'll never stop yeah you know and and especially as

humans humans love the feeling of progress. And the only, really a lot of the times when we feel like not so good is when we feel stuck or we feel like we're going backwards. Right? But what's pretty amazing about entrepreneurship and personal development and all the things that we do, it's kind of like a trap because the pain of moving forward will never be as painful as the pain of moving backwards wow it's deep so for example if i'm an amazing speaker i can't stop speaking right i can't stop speaking why i've gotten so good at speaking to the point where if i stop

speaking and i know that i'm getting worse that'd be way more painful than me persisting to continue to be a better speaker so the pain of moving backwards will always be greater than the pain of moving forward i think that's why a lot of pro athletes struggle mentally when they retire that's a good point because they lost their skills and it's it's and it's a it's an identity shift yeah they have their whole entire identity tied to this thing that's how they get their value that's how they get their validation that's how they get their claps and their likes and their love and so it's like it's an identity thing too everything is tied to that identity and then when they don't have it anymore it comes crashing down right have you gone through periods of feeling stuck like you

mentioned earlier depression i'm always stuck i'm always stuck um yeah i think every single season is is a very beautiful season to be in you know i'm a big believer and this is just this is just the law of the universe is that the pendulum always swings right the money will be up then money will be down the excitement will be up the excitement will be down the fulfillment will be high the fulfillment will be down but what's beautiful is that if you're lost on the other side of loss is found and if you're found stay there because it feels good but one day you're going to be lost again right and so that's the beautiful thing and and i have a little a rhyme is there's a reason for every season because in every season there's a lesson what a blessing right and so embrace all the seasons embrace the uncertainty embrace the fear embrace the insecurity season embrace the stuck season but yeah i'm stuck a lot you know like even recently

yeah people think it's it goes away once you get financially successful but it really doesn't no i think you know i was i was stuck a couple months ago where i was like should i continue this mindset stuff i don't know what to do do i want to coach my whole life do i want to mentor do i want to speak like all this different type of stuff and in that season of being stuck, instead of soothing, I make sure like I'm not using any substances, right? Because it's so easy to mask the feeling of stuck, mask the insecurity. We do it with all these different things. So I make sure I'm as raw as I am. And I kind of just sit in my diaper, sit in my shitty diaper, right? And I feel it and I just go throughout the season.

Another thing is, is when you're feeling stuck, it's like lean on a sisterhood or a brotherhood. You know, I think one of the most important things is your community like having people that they'll support you but also challenge you but yo get up you know like it's okay you know life's great you know and it happens to very high level individuals you know like i have a i have a buddy who we you know we have a joke and he'll call me and he'll be like i'm in a low you know low emotional state and i'm like yeah bro it must be hard rolling out of your mansion into your urus you know like i get it like what are you about right and we talk each other up and so it's okay to be stuck it's okay to

be lost because on the other side of loss is found um and new levels new devils right yeah it's like you're gonna you're gonna upgrade and you're gonna have a different level of stuck you're gonna upgrade you're gonna have a different set of problems right but people who are mediocre and who are sitting on the couch aren't stuck only people are actually intentional about building things get stuck and get problems oh that's a good point yeah so what if every time you experience feeling stuck or anytime that you experience a problem it was a sign from your creator that you're actually moving in the right direction would you have a different relationship with stuck would you have a different relationship

with problems yeah for problems for me you're just worthy opponents love that i'm like here we go another problem that i gotta solve it's necessary to grow 100 yeah it's not smooth sailing like people see on social media like it's really not smooth sailing at all and and sometimes i wish it was you know sometimes i wish i was chilling but then again like we get bored no we get bored man when i'm on vacation yo day four or five i'm like i want to go home and work yeah i mean yeah i love working 100 that's that's because you understand that you're making a massive difference. I feel like every single one of us have an assignment. Some people don't understand their assignment until they're 50. Some people don't understand their assignment until they're 20.

Some people find it very early on. But all of you have an assignment. You have something to give. And you are most qualified to serve others in the very thing that you've overcome. If you've overcome addiction, you can help people in addiction. If you overcome weight loss, you can help people with weight loss. If you overcome people getting better at dating, go help them with dating. If it's podcasting, podcasting. But we are most qualified to teach what we've overcome and the result that we get. And so I think there's a lot of time,

there's coaches out there who are coaching, but they don't have results. It's like, go get the results for yourself and then turn around and condense time for people but people need you like you listening to this right now like my story is only going to resonate with so many people but your story your testimony your traumas they need you and remember every day that you don't share your story and you don't share the things that you've overcome someone's suffering out there because they haven't met you yet and selfish of you yeah and think about the trickle effect right so let's say 100 000 people watch this yeah and let's say 10 of them inspire 100 people i mean you can impact millions of lives endless yeah and this right especially with social media these days

yeah and that's how you and i got here right is because someone had a result and turned around and mentored us that's why we got there fast right and so i'm just i'm just an offering bro you know it's like i'm i'm uh you know you could see like i got my cross on but i'm not like i wouldn't hang out with most christians and i wouldn't i'm not very religious but i've studied christ in a way that i realized that in my personal life christ was an offering right he gave himself to the world and so my intention every single day is to become the greatest version of myself and just give it wow like my knowledge the things that i've overcome my traumas all the things that i've overcome like let me give it to the world so someone doesn't have to suffer like

i did that's the whole point if you help enough people get what they want you can have anything you want in life. Absolutely, man. Give it all away. Give it all away. Yeah, that's definitely a goal of mine. Give as much knowledge as I've learned. Why would you want to die with that? Give it away.

Inspire future generations. 100%. Keep it living on. And you look at the greats. My mentor, Tony Robbins, the only reason why there's a Tony Robbins is because there was a Jim Rohn. But imagine Jim Rohn didn't share his knowledge. Who knows how many people wouldn't have gotten impacted. And so I think it's a I think it's an interesting way to be immortalized. You know, like you're always going to be out

there. But then again, I also think, by the way, like you y'all y'all are so scared to like talk to the guy or girl. Y'all are so scared. You like waiting for the perfect time to drop your course, your webinar like you're going to die. I'm just saying like you're gonna die and you're going to expire and how dare you think that you have a year how dare you think you have five years how dare you think you have three months you do not know when you're gonna die and so oftentimes people don't take action because they think they got it forever yeah Yeah. But even at 27 years old, death is a constant reminder for me to execute swiftly and to pursue what I want. Yeah.

You're going to die. And then I also think about, this is a little harsh, but I also think about like, you're going to die and then the bird's still bird. The water still flows. The earth still spins, unless you believe in flat earth. We don't need to go down there, right? But the world keeps going on. And so, live your game living in the game live your matrix do whatever you want to do because you don't know when it's going to end like literally i'm not

i'm not every single night even at 27 i go to sleep i'm like this could be it wow this could be it it's not it's at 27 i don't know i got something going on maybe i gotta heal you have a fear of death 100 why does it scare you so much fear of death i think i'm uh we love control right it's like we love control and we and humans hate uncertainty right so that's why we have stories or religions or things for so we can attach to something and believe that we know what's going to happen but i feel like we we love control we don't like the uncertainty and the the thought of not black like you know like freaks me out i mean i definitely go to ayahuasca or something i definitely had a fear for a think I'm going to have to go do ayahuasca or something. I definitely had a fear for a while, but as I've gone on this little spiritual journey I'm on,

I think I've accepted it a little more. You know what I mean? Yeah. Definitely still a little scared, but I used to fear it a lot too. Yeah. For sure. And it ain't going anywhere.

You know, like death ain't going anywhere. Yeah, you can't escape it. You know, like Jim Rohn would say, life's so risky, none of us are getting out alive. Yeah. Right? But it's a great reminder for me to pursue what i want yeah you know i think there's a lot of humans that get to 50 60 years old and

like oh yeah right and i always say like on my deathbed i want to have more remember when's and less what ifs love that that's key absolutely with the advancements in ai technology medical space if someone offered you legs and arms, would you take it? Wow, that's a great question. Are they permanent or can I take them off? I guess, would you want them to be interchangeable, like off and on? Yeah, that's a great question.

I would take the legs if I could take them off. I'd take the arm if I could take it off. But I think ultimately, the combination of my unique vessel and my ability to articulate and transform is the ultimate package for me to transform lives. And so, you know, I was just on another show before this

and we were talking about, talking about, you know, a creator. And I was like, you know, my creator, you know, just forgot a few parts. He's like, he didn't forget. He's like, he made you exactly how you were supposed to be to be the messenger here on earth. And i was like that's really profound and so

um i love my unicorn body now you know and and i feel like when people can see me they're watching this and they could be like dude this guy's so confident with no legs one arm like it gives them evidence inspiring you know it gives them evidence and i think yeah i'm just a messenger bro like i that's my belief is you know god put me here with a very unique vessel and at first like i hated the vessel i didn't know what the vessel i didn't understand my assignment and now i understand my assignment and so i'm just don't shoot the messenger i'm just here to i'm just here to talk that talk and you hated it for a majority of your life right yeah bro i'm 27 so i've hated it since i've only been enjoying it for 10 years wow isn't that crazy i've only been enjoying this sexy body no i'm just

kidding for 10 years yeah and look how much i've accomplished in 10 years yeah right just with that mindset just with the shift bro yeah and there's only four people in the world like you right yeah not as beautiful not as articulate of course not as rich no i'm just kidding i'm just kidding have you met them um i've met one nice um gabe i met gabe um no arms or legs and also born with hand heart syndrome but at the time of my birth in 1996 i was was the 12th baby in medical history that I've ever seen it happen to. None of the 12 during 1990, by that time, eight of them have died. Crazy. And so usually they're born with undeveloped organs

and I got the limbs part. And so when I was born, they did tests on my organs and my organs came back 100% healthy. Nice. I got all my organs and we're rocking and rolling. Even the sexual ones? Yep, yep, we're rocking and rolling.

Let's go, baby. So baby Nick's running around let's go yeah little nicks running around that's cool yeah i'm chilling bro i'm chilling right now um you know 27 i don't know i think about it do i want to bring kids into this screwed up place it is i'm just saying all right i'm just saying yeah right it's it's wild out here, bro. It's wild in the game. You know, sometimes I think about like, yo, I did not sign up for this.

Like, why am I here? I did not sign up to be here to go through all this stuff. But, you know, I think aligned with a lot of people is like, when I have kids or if I have kids, you know, I will develop their beliefs. I will educate them. They'll be homeschooled. They will be put in specific environments

where they're indoctrinated in an empowering way yep um but who knows where the world's gonna go we don't know if we're even gonna be around who knows i mean yeah with everything going on you'd be an amazing father though for real thank you i could see it yeah until they grow taller than me and beat my like my five-year-old's taller than me he's like all alright dad now I'm in charge Let's end it on this Who wins in a wrestling match you or Zion Clark Zion He's got two arms I'll tell you why

He's got two arms He's got both grip strength That's it it's a wrap What if one arm was tied behind his back Why we want to do a pay per view We might have to run it up under card Of Jake Paul or something You know Why? We want to do a pay-per-view? We might have to make that up. You're going to run it up undercard of Jake Paul or something?

You know? Good question. I would watch it. One arm tied behind his back. No, this is like me trying to get advantage and stuff. Bottom line is, Zion, you have both your arms. Bro, it's funny. I'm cool with Zion. I just saw him. But Zion, I know it because of wrestling and jiu-jitsu.

It's like grip strength goes a long way, right? So he has both his arms and he has grip strength i would be done and i'm man enough to say that i get my foot okay right now no legs if you look just like me one finger yeah we're going at it zion luckily i love you and luckily you love me and i'm not trying to find anybody all right but zion if we want to start talking together and then put together like an undercard for one of these things and make a bag i think that might go viral i've seen like i've seen dwarfs fighting that's it pretty well i think barstool did that one all right yeah i like it good ending question all right anything you want to close off with my man anything I want to close off with I would say

stay curious stay curious love a lot laugh a lot stop harboring negative emotions because life is way too short to be pissed off and angry and nothing is missing.

Everything you want, all the answers, everything you want, everything you want to achieve, you have the power inside of you, and nothing's missing. And please, don't let a man with no legs and one arm outwork you in this matrix. Love that. You heard it here, guys. What a powerful message. Great interview. One of the best ever, honestly. I've done 350 of these.

You should f***ing know. Thanks for watching, for watching guys as always see you next time been in love