Digital Social Hour - Texting Secrets: How to Turn Matches into First Dates | Benjamin Seda DSH #1297

Episode Date: April 4, 2025

Unlock the secrets to turning matches into memorable first dates! 🔑✨ In this episode of the Digital Social Hour, Sean Kelly dives into the art of modern dating with expert Benjamin Seda, who’s been coaching men for over a decade. Get ready for practical, actionable advice on texting techniques, building confidence, and creating genuine connections in today’s fast-paced world. From mastering dating apps like Hinge to approaching women in everyday situations, this conversation is packed with valuable insights you won’t want to miss! 🚀   Learn why texting is one of the most critical dating skills, how to approach women with ease, and Benjamin’s incredible “24 girls in 24 hours” social experiment that will blow your mind! 🤯 Whether you're navigating post-COVID dating challenges or looking to level up your game, this episode is your ultimate guide to success. 💡   🎧 Tune in now and join the conversation! Don’t miss out—watch now and subscribe for more insider secrets. 📺 Hit that subscribe button and stay tuned for more eye-opening stories on the Digital Social Hour with Sean Kelly! 🎙️🔥   #redpill #selfimprovement #redpillmindset #moderndating #redpillrage   CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:35 - How to Meet Women in 2022 04:29 - Picking Up 24 Girls in 24 Hours 12:14 - Texting Strategies for Dating 14:02 - Understanding the Red Pill Movement 19:08 - What Do You Bring to the Table in Dating 22:05 - Have You Ever Had a Virgin Client? 24:39 - Should You Wait Until You're Successful to Date? 27:13 - Dan Bilzerian Method Explained 30:34 - Best Dating Apps for 2023 34:00 - Where to Find Benjamin 34:23 - End   APPLY TO BE ON THE PODCAST: https://www.digitalsocialhour.com/application BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [e-mail]   GUEST: Benjamin Seda  https://www.instagram.com/realbenjaminseda/   LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/   #redpill #selfimprovement #redpillmindset #moderndating #redpillrage

A lot of dates or, you know, with girls, I feel like my game could be better. You don't want to jump into this weird subculture of, of, of, of guys that you don't really relate to. Yeah. On the other hand, you had very generic advice, like ask men style advice where it's like, just be confident or get a, get a, get a better haircut. And that's not very practical or actionable. Okay guys, Benjamin Seda here.

We're going to talk about dating. Yeah, let's do it man. A lot of dating issues right now. Right? Very much so. Yeah. It's kind of like where, where, where do you even start? There's it's funny because I notice after COVID it got way worse.

I've been making dating content on YouTube specifically for almost 10 years now. And after COVID, there was a very noticeable difference, I think, because people were stuck inside for so long. And it really destroyed third spaces for people. Are you familiar with the concept of third spaces? No, what is that? So basically the way most people used to meet, right, was some variation of social circle. Whether it's I go to work, I go to way most people used to meet, right, was some variation of social circle,

whether it's I go to work, I go to school, I go to class and I go to church. These are all third spaces where you're not just at home, but now with COVID making remote work super, super popular, most of the guys that I work with or take on as clients, it's not that they're ugly or virgins or you know, never been on a date. It's just that they're professionals. In fact, they're honestly usually making a lot of money,

but they're working from home all day 24-7. And their routine is go home or work all day, go to the gym, come back, repeat. That's it. So if you're not really in the third space, which is maybe the gym these days, People don't go to church anymore. And there's all sorts of laws and bad stigma with meeting people at work. It makes it really, really hard for people to date and then they jump on dating apps, they don't get any results and yeah.

Right, never an cycle. Do you think the gym is a good spot to get girls? Cause I've heard conflicting things on this. Like some girls feel creeped out, right? Yeah, I think with anything, right? It's if you do it the right way, then it can work. And I think the easiest way to make it work in a way that feels OK in the gym is number and this goes for all types of approaches when you're approaching girls

that you always want to do it in a way where it's very easy for her to exit the interaction gracefully. Right. So the wrong way to approach a girl is to cat call her, be like, hey, mama, you look so hot or you're so sexy, or something very abrasive. It's always better to start off with something. You can give a genuine compliment, but even as something as simple as like,

hey, I saw you, I wanted to come meet you really fast, right? The intent is implicit there. You can compliment as well, but that way if a girl isn't really interested, she can gracefully exit. The same is true at the gym, right? At the gym, the only difference I would say

is that your social reputation is potentially at stake when you're there. So meaning if you go up and you're super aggressive or you give a very direct compliment and it goes poorly, you're going to have to see that girl again or maybe she'll report you to the gym staff or whatever. So generally the best way is to, I find, just be generally social at the gym. And you don't need to be like a dancing monkey,

but if you see people, just make it a habit to smile and nod so that when you do smile and nod at the girl, she'll know, oh, this is just the guy who's always talking and social with people. And then if she seems open and receptive, then you can go for it. I think you can directly approach a girl at the gym too. It just has to be done correctly in terms of like your body language.

And again, do it in a way where it's not invasive. Like the worst way is when she's bent over with her ass out on the thought machine and you come over and you're like, hey, by the way, I thought you were really cute. I wanted to meet you. And she's like, what? I can't hear you.

You have the headphones in. So it requires a good amount of social calibration and awareness to do it the right way. But I think just being social in general, talking to everybody so that if a girl sees you talk to her, her guard is going to be down because it's like, oh, that's the guy who talks to the guy at the front desk. And I see him talk to everyone else.

Right. So, and just generally speaking, I mean, you live in a big city. We're here in Vegas, just having that ability to make conversations with people. I mean, dude, I talked to someone in the sauna and then we ended up doing business together or some random guy in the street who asked for directions. You never know where this can take you.

I always talk when I'm in the sauna. I go to lifetime, I'm going to hit the sauna tonight after this and you never know what will can take you. I always talk when I'm in the sauna. I go to Lifetime, I'm going to hit the sauna tonight after this and you never know what will happen. Yeah. 100%. You've done a lot of interesting social experiments. I wanted to talk about some of these. Picking up 24 girls in 24 hours. Yes.

Was that in all one setting or how did that work? So I actually did it in 12 hours. So I did this challenge on YouTube last year for the year of 2024 because like we talked about the idea that there's none of these third spaces and people are overly reliant on dating apps. I thought it was important for guys to tap back into that initial healthy masculinity and the ability of

going out and creating these opportunities for yourself, given that the dating landscape has changed. So yeah, I did a challenge where every day for 30 days straight, I had to film and upload a successful approach. And every day of the 30 days of January, there was a different challenge. So one, I had to do one where I was in the middle of jogging. One, it had to be at the grocery store, the gym.

So literally any situation you could imagine yourself in. And if I didn't successfully complete and upload 30 full approaches, I'd have to give away 10 grand to a random stranger on the street. So the stakes were there. It was 100% real, like the whole thing. I didn't sleep. I was super sick throughout the whole thing.

But the last day's challenge was picking up 24 girls in 24 hours. So that one was interesting because there was a lot of logistics that went into making it happen. So what's the best time to do it? I was in Miami, right? So you think there was a lot of logistics that went into making it happen. So what's the best time to do it? I was in Miami, right? So you think there was a couple of stipulations. It couldn't just be at a nightclub or a festival

where you can just- That'd be too easy. They're drunk. And it just ruins the spirit of the challenge, which was to meet people day to day, to not have to go to a nightclub or do something that's super invasive to your day to day. Because a lot of guys who are successful, you know, like I talked about who are working

24 seven, I mean, you're going to the sauna tonight. It's a Friday night in Vegas. You could go to a bar, a casino, a club, you could do anything. But if you're busy working and you have goals, you don't want to spend three hours at a nightclub, wake up hungover and drunk, right? You want to be able to do it in a way that's day to day. So yeah, it was all during the daytime. Obviously it spilled over a little bit at night, but it was all approaches on the street or at different locations during the day. So yeah, I did 50,000 steps that day.

Over 50,000 steps, me and my cameraman. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, like our feet were hurting. We brought five different batteries, three different SD cards, and we literally were at like seven or 6% battery by the end of the day.

We had to stop in the middle to go and recharge everything, but it still wasn't enough. And I did it in, I believe, 13 hours. You see the video, I timed the whole thing. I showed the step counts. What was considered a pickup, getting their number? Yeah, you had to get their number or their Instagram successfully.

Some sort of contact info. So I believe I was 24 for 38. Damn. That's really good. Something like that. So were you targeted or were you approaching randoms? Like was it? Because that's a really good ratio. Yeah, so there was a couple things, right? Like to keep the integrity of the experiment,

I only wanted to approach girls I would actually be at least somewhat interested in. I mean, when you're approaching someone, it's usually just a vibe thing or a physicality thing, someone you would actually be attracted to. I'm not going to go approach a grandma and get a number. I'm like, you know, it counts, right? So yeah, like the stipulations where it had to be girls

that I would at least in a normal setting consider attractive and approaching. But yeah, it was crazy. You know, it was almost like the universe gave it to me and like rewarded my effort because at the end, the very last approach, I was talking to my cameraman. Like there was a segment in the video where I was talking to the camera

and a girl just walks right in and like starts talking to the camera as well. So then I started talking to her and then she was the 24th. That was the last one. The last approach. Wow. That one just came to me as the universe rewarded. Destiny.

The effort, yeah. But the interesting thing about that experiment that I found was most interesting was that you can get, ironically committing to a really big goal, like that made it easier because if on any given day and I actually recommend this with clients or people I work with I'm like instead of just trying to approach one girl a day why don't you just go out for three hours one day four hours one day if you're especially if you're really nervous and just start a conversation with 10

girls today right because if it's a bigger bigger number, you stop overthinking every little one where it's like, if I have one girl I need to approach and I need to get her number today, you're going to start thinking, I have to approach her if I don't do it. And you can hype it up and build it up to be something in your head that's a lot more difficult. Whereas if it's a huge number, now instead of thinking from a place of fear, like, can I even do this? Now you have to start thinking logistically and tactically

of like, okay, where am I gonna go? How am I gonna open? What am I, like you have to think about the actual execution of how you would conquer such a big goal. And I mean, the best place to start is like, when I work with clients, I'm not saying, hey dude, you gotta go get 10 numbers this week.

Like it's like, no dude, just start a conversation. Just say hi. And if after you say hi, if you feel comfortable, you can ask a follow-up question, but just start by saying hi or I like your shirt or I like your X, Y, Z thing. Just to get, guys need to remove the mental programming that if I talk to a girl or start a conversation,

that I'm going to have some sort of bad reaction. So the way you do that is by you remove all the pressure. It's like, listen, I have no expectation of you getting a number. All you have to do is go up and just say hi. That's it. Just say hi, give her a compliment, anything. Because then they start to realize

I can initiate conversations with a stranger and you're only ever going to get three reactions. Positive, negative, or neutral. That's it. And when you know that you're going to get one of those three, it kind of removes the uncertainty and the fear. And then you start to see, whoa, like I said hi, or I told her, gave her a compliment,

and now she's talking to me. And like, all of a sudden these guys are getting numbers when they weren't even trying to do it, right? Because they start to understand that sometimes luck can play on your side, the more repetitions and positions, opportunities you give yourself. Yeah, it's almost like a numbers games

once you're doing the reps, right? Yeah, I think the whole thesis of game, right, or the skill of dating is so that it's not a numbers game. But very much in the beginning, and the biggest problem with guys I see today is that they're just not meeting enough women, period. Right, like dating's a math problem. And the formula is really simple.

It's like leads times conversions equals dates, right? You only ever have two problems. Either you're not meeting enough women or the women that you are meeting, you're not turning into a date. For example, you get zero matches, you're not gonna get any dates on the apps, right? But if you have a hundred matches,

even if your text game is awful and you only get 10% of those girls out on dates, that's 10 dates, right? So there's a conversion aspect of this and then there's like a, just the volume and lead generation aspect of it. So in a perfect world, you do want to get to a point, once you develop the skillset,

after a lot of repetitions and after lots of volume, where you can just go up and approach a girl and with pretty high confidence, know you can lead that to at least a date. Not every girl's going to love you, you're not going to be the right fit for every girl, but at least know that I can get this to a date or make it progress into something

where there's a possibility there. So in the beginning, it's definitely a numbers game, right? Like most guys, they're just not meeting enough women, whether it's on the apps. Most of the guys I talk to who approach me to, for coaching or for private consulting, is most of them are just not doing approaches at all, right? Or if they do, it's very infrequent.

It's like, okay, when was the last time you did an approach? I mean, guys go out to bars or clubs with their friends and then you're like, okay, how many approaches did you do? You went out last Friday, how many did you approach to just do? None. It's like, okay, so you just stayed up late all night and drunk, just to drink with your friends.

It's like, what better opportunity did you want, you know? Yeah. So in the beginning, especially if someone's early in the skill set, volume and the numbers game aspect is really important in my opinion. That makes sense. The text game is important. Now I've heard mixed messaging on this. What's your approach when it comes to texting women? Because some guys are like, you should ignore them.

Some guys are like, you should text them every day. Is it case by case? Yeah. So this is a great question, right? So texting is really important because even if you have a 10 out of 10 dating profile, you can have a 10 out of 10 approach skills. If you can't convert that phone number that you get from the dating app or from in-person,

if you can't convert that into a date, like the text conversation is gonna determine whether or not she agrees to the date in the first place. So in a lot of ways, I say this to my guys all the time, texting is one of the most important dating skills, period. Because you can ruin a great first impression with a text conversation, or you could potentially repair one.

So in terms of how to do it in the most effective way, I find a lot of the gamesmanship or the trickery around like, oh, ignore her or wait X amount of time to do it. What guys are really trying to do is they're trying to create fake scarcity or they're trying to create like an inflated artificial sense of value. Like, oh, he's so busy, he can't do it. Where it's like, it doesn't really make a lot of sense

because a lot of times, especially on a dating app where there's max distraction and she's getting new matches and new messages every minute, if anything, you want to reply fast, you can get her off the dating app as fast as possible and you want to get her in front of you on a first date as quick as possible. So if anything, I tell guys, I mean,

I respond to a message when I see it. Obviously, if you're a man, high value man, and I cringe saying that, but everyone knows what you mean when you say that, right? But if you're a guy with a good life to bring a woman into, you're going to have stuff going on. So it's a self-fixing problem. If a guy's like, should I wait to respond or let her, you know,

kind of ice her out a little bit? It's like, you probably don't have enough going on anyways that you want to be playing these tricks in the first place. So you have a very different approach from the Red Pill movement then. Honestly, yeah. I would say in my experience, I think... you want to be playing these tricks in the first place. So you have a very different approach from the Red Pill movement then? Honestly, yeah. I would say in my experience, I think, so I think the Red Pill movement

has probably made guys worse off with dating in a lot of ways, yeah. So the Red Pill is an interesting thing because I've, like I said, I've been making dating content for 10 years now. So when I started making dating content, a big reason why my original channel blew up and the original branding that I had blew up

was because back then, the way guys would consume dating content was you either had these pickup artists who had these very niche subcultures where they used all this complicated words and jargon and it was just very cringe, right? So it was a high barrier to entry. If you're just like a normal guy who's like,

hey man, I'm not really getting a lot of dates or, you know, with girls, I feel like my game could be better. You don't want to jump into this weird subculture of guys that you don't really relate to. On the other hand, you had very generic advice, like ask men style advice where it's like, just be confident or get a better haircut. And that's not very practical or actionable either. So where the content that we made on YouTube stood out was it was very direct, it was very actionable to the point, but it had a low barrier to entry to consume.

Like anyone could watch it, right? Like you could watch it and learn something from it, even if you knew nothing about pick up or dating. The thing with the Red Pill movement is I actually think it's not a coincidence that it blew up the way it did during COVID, right? Because the Red Pill movement, I started seeing the first kind of inklings of it in 2018, 2019. There was a few niche YouTubers that were making Red Pill content.

I saw them starting to gain some traction. But it really hit escape velocity during COVID because everyone's inside, right? So if you did, if you were meeting people out and about, you're not anymore, now you're inside, you're relying on dating apps or you're getting terrible results because dating apps are photos based

and the average guy has no idea how to take photos of himself because the average guy doesn't even own a full length mirror. But you'd be surprised at the number of guys where I'm like, okay, we're going to get you a photo shoot done. We're going to get you a photographer. We're going to completely revamp your profiles. Just send me your five pictures of you wearing your five best outfits in a full length mirror.

Half the guys don't even own a full length mirror. Right? I don't think I do actually. Yeah. Right? You're a guy, right? You check for two seconds for a hygiene check, make sure you look presentable and then you're out the door. But when it comes to taking photos,

all of those little details matter, right? So the average guy doesn't know what they're doing on the apps, they don't have good photos, they don't know how to precisely package themselves in an attractive way. So you also have this like very politicized era during COVID, right? Where everything became super political. And I think you created this perfect storm politicized era during COVID, right? Where everything became super political.

And I think you created this perfect storm for the red pill movement, because it's more political than it is actionable. Because for example, like what you're familiar with red pill content, Every Guy Is, like what would you say is the main advice, the main red pill advice for improving your dating life? A lot of them say to date multiple women at the same time.

They say put men on a pedestal, like you're superior to a woman, right? So I'd say those are the two main things. What about you? Yeah, like those are great, right? I think like the main point that encompasses all of that is all about raising your sexual market value, right? Becoming a high value man. Because when you're a high value man, women chase you.

I don't know about you, man. Like I've coached, I actually coach a lot of guys who are in the crypto space, guys worth eight, nine figures. They're rich, super successful, in good shape, and they're all young. So it's not like they're old 50 year old millionaires, right? Girls don't just fall from the sky. You're not walking around with your bank account on your forehead. Yeah, money alone isn't enough, I think. Even status and value alone isn't enough if you want a relationship. Now, if you want to buy tables at the club

and hook up with hoes or whatever, very short term casual stuff, no judgment there. Then, you know, status can work for a day, two days, a weekend, a week. But ultimately, a woman is gonna be attracted and wanna stay based on how you make her feel. And your status could make her feel something initially, but eventually the emotional connection

is gonna be about much more than just the status, unless you're dealing with very vapid surface level women. And it's no coincidence that a lot of the guys who espouse this red pill philosophy are in, you know, very, very aggressive subcultures that are status driven hierarchies like Miami, right? Miami is kind of the hub of all of that. I mean, if you walk down Brickle, everyone's trying to flaunt or flex their status. And if you think about it, like, do you really want your relationship to be kind of this power struggle between you and your partner when you guys are supposed to be in alignment on the same team?

So I think generally speaking, there's not a lot of practical advice that the red pill gives aside from, you know, just make money or just increase your status, which are all great. But the thing is, is that if you don't know how to communicate that status in a way that's compelling in a way that's charismatic and socially calibrated, then it's just not gonna work. Have you seen that meme? There's some of these like interviews where guys

will ask a girl like, oh, what do you bring to the table? And the girls never know what to say. It's because like a relationship isn't meant to be discussed overtly. Like certain aspects of course, but like it's a value exchange, but it's a value exchange much more on an emotional level than on a logical level.

Whereas the Red Pill train of thought is more so about, girls like me are gonna date me for my resume, which is generally not the case. You even think about this, and I imagine you have an insane network you've had, literally everyone, anyone with a very impressive background on here, but the people that you're really, really friends with and you'd like to spend time with,

it goes beyond more than just their resume or who they are. With men, it's a little bit more transactional relationships, but I mean, I'm sure you're still friends with some people that you knew before you were very successful. For me, it's an energy thing. It's how do they make me feel? Like are they taking or giving me energy? Exactly, right?

And that can be a friend who's funny or because you have a lot of shared history. So you understand each other in a very certain way. Right. It's the same thing with women, but on steroids, because women are operating much more emotionally, generally speaking. So yeah, I think the red pill falls short in that

there's not a lot of practical advice. Like, if you ask me what's the best texting advice, okay, if you're on a dating app, you want to ask for the date within the first one to three messages, you want to get her off the dating app as fast as possible because there's a ton of distraction and a lot of things pulling her attention away from you. You ask, okay, what's the best way to meet

a high quality woman? I would say, usually during the daytime approaching women in day to day scenarios, because if a girl's out at a club very often, she's probably in a more casual, short term fun phase of her life, which there's nothing wrong with that. But if you want something long term, you're probably going to want to approach a girl at a cafe or coming out of a yoga class or the mall or somewhere day to day where you would find someone who's in a more regimented routine and has their life in a more stable, secure place. So you don't really get that from the red pill as much.

A lot of it is just like, buy Instagram followers, get a blue check mark, have a Lamborghini, get a nice watch. And I think it's this caricature of masculinity that tends to fall short when it comes to actually building a longer term relationship. Because out of all the guys I work with, 99% want the same thing. I want to improve my pool of options.

I want to date lots of women. And then I want to, of that pool of options, now that I have the abundance, I want to choose the right one to spend to settle down with long term. Like a lot of guys, they prefer to be in a relationship longer term, but they want to make sure that they are choosing that from a place of abundance rather than scarcity.

And most of the time they're operating from a place of scarcity because they don't have choice. So guys are more so just dating women who pick them or the women who are convenient. That makes sense. Have you ever had, you mentioned a Virgin client earlier. Have you ever had a Virgin client that you helped out? because they don't have choice. So guys are more so just dating women who pick them or the women who are convenient. That makes sense. Have you ever had, you mentioned a Virgin client earlier. Have you ever had a Virgin client that you helped out?

Yeah, I've had quite a few over the years. I would say on average, the guys that I work with, anytime you're going to do like a personalized coaching or consulting with someone, I'll be really honest, like so much of the success is on the person that you're working with, right? Like as much as my system and my way of doing things works and I stand behind it 110% and I have insane results

for guys who we've been able to do it for is it will only work if the person is in a place in their life where they're actually gonna implement it, right? Like I can't approach the girl for you. I can't text the girl for you, right? There's things we can do. I can build your profile. I can build your Instagram.

I can, you know, coach you on what to say and how to say it and why to say it. So we can teach you how to fish in addition to giving you a fish. But at the end of the day, like, they need to be the right person to execute it. So generally speaking, that's why with my more intimate private coaching,

I work with guys who are a little bit older. The average client is in their 30s, I would say between 25 and 50. I've worked with quite a number of guys in their 60s. Yeah, that's a wide range, wow. I've worked with quite a number of guys in their 60s, post divorce. They're like, I haven't been on a date in 30 years,

where do I start? Now that's, is that different advice based off the age though cause the market changes, right? Yeah, so it's slightly different, but it's pretty much the same, man. It's pretty similar. There's obviously changes, right? Yeah, so it's slightly different, but it's pretty much the same, man. It's pretty similar. There's obviously nuance, right? Like if you're dating a woman who's probably 30 and older,

the way she's going to want to text or interact on a first date is going to be different than a girl who's 21 and still in college or fresh out of college in a new city, right? But I find that I don't usually work with guys who are under 25. And the reason for that is because, a little bit to the credit of the red pill philosophy is that usually their life isn't fully in order.

And if I'm going to work with someone and put in a lot of time to help them develop, I like to see that they already have a career or some other thing. Actually worked with a lot of guys in the military, just some other thing that they've accomplished and done in their life because that shows me, okay, you can with a lot of guys in the military, just some other thing that they've accomplished and done in their life. Because that shows me, okay, you can follow a structure, you've gotten success in other areas. That shows me that if we actually get intentional about this area, you're very likely to get success and it'll be a win-win for both of us. Because it's not like, depending on how you're coaching someone, if it's just a course, it kind of doesn't matter. Like it's fully up to them. But when you're coaching someone, if it's just a course, it kind of doesn't matter. Like it's fully up to them,

but when you're coaching someone, you really have to choose the right type of person. And I think that falls on the coach to make sure you're choosing the right type of person, because otherwise you're gonna end up in a situation where you bring on someone who you can't really help, and then you're spending a, wasting a bunch of time where they're not satisfied,

and you're wasting a bunch of time that could have been spent with someone else who you could actually help. So generally speaking, I think if you're wasting a bunch of time that could have been spent with someone else you could actually help. So, generally speaking, I think if you're a younger guy under 25, you definitely want your main focus to be getting your life in order, whether that's physically, obviously financially, it's always a great idea to get a head start there. But this idea of the self-improvement monk mode,

like don't talk to girls, don't talk to anyone until you've kind of become into your prime. I think that's a dangerous philosophy as well because, I mean. I hear that in Red Pill, if you're financially broke, you shouldn't even talk to women. Yeah, I think that's the wrong message, right? Like it shouldn't be a main focus

and you shouldn't go out of your way or prioritize women over your finances or what's gonna put you in a successful life position. But I think you miss out on a lot of opportunities as a young person. Let's say you are in college or just being young in general. There's a lot of unique experiences around dating

and I've worked with guys who are in their 30s or late 20s and they're like, I haven't had a girlfriend ever. I haven't been on a date in five years. And then you get to the point where, let's say you're 29 and you go on a date with a girl and she starts asking you about your dating history or you guys start going over stuff. And she starts to, or she just realizes that you're very inexperienced dating wise. That's going to be a red flag for her because she's gonna think, okay, he's successful,

he's 29, but why does he not know what he's doing? When it comes to dating? Yeah, they're gonna be like, what's he hiding? Yeah, what's wrong with him? Right, like why is no one out? How has he not fixed this yet? So the older you get, the more successful you get, the higher the expectations on you get as well, right?

Which is something that a lot of people don't realize is that I also find that a lot of times guys will put off women and dating as a whole as kind of a way to kick the can down the road. Because it's like, I'm afraid to approach the girl. I'm afraid to go for what I really want and kind of put myself out there and take some risk and be vulnerable, put myself in a vulnerable position. So it's easier for me to just go focus on making more money or going to the gym or whatever it is, because at least I can buy into the idea that if I do that, then girls are eventually gonna chase me at some point,

which is just not really true. I mean, you could stand outside on the Vegas strip with a Lamborghini all day, probably not gonna have any girl come up to you and throw themselves to you. It's going to be with you. A lot of those videos are fake actually. Oh yeah, most of them are, right?

Like 100%. The gold digger ones. Yeah, 100%. Plus you don't even want that girl anyways. Like they're attracted to you for a car, like that's not going to be a real relationship. Yeah, of course. What do you think of the damn Nazarian approach

where the woman, he funnels the woman to him, he doesn't pursue any woman. It's like the opposite to yours actually. So I wouldn't say it's opposite, right? It's, I wouldn't give a prescription of every guy should do this. It wouldn't say it's opposite, right? I wouldn't give a prescription of every guy should do this. It's always very personal to you, right? Like I don't believe in giving blanket prescriptions to anyone because I don't know your life context.

I don't know your strengths. I don't know your weaknesses, right? So for example, the Dan Bilzerian approach is, I mean, the only way you could replicate that as a guy who isn't worth nine figures or whatever Dan Bilzerian approach is, I mean, the only way you could replicate that as a guy who isn't worth nine figures or whatever Dan Bilzerian is worth is by creating like a very strong social circle. So I would say that the Dan Bilzerian method,

a lot of times it's very time heavy in that he has to have a staff. I mean, I don't know how much you- Yeah, the parties and- Yeah, he has like a full staff of people who are coordinating these parties. He's managing his assistant who's like getting girls or contacting modeling agencies to bring girls in

or whatever it is, right? So if you want to live that lifestyle, but most guys I know who are successful and do have a lot of money, they don't even drink, right? That's true, these days especially. Yeah, like most of my, like dude, over 90% of my clients don't even drink, right? Like a big thing we go over is like, if I go on a first date with a girl and I don't want to drink, but days especially. Yeah, like most of my, like dude, over 90% of my clients don't even drink. Right, like a big thing we go over is like,

if I go on a first date with a girl and I don't want to drink, but we're going to, like how do I handle that? Or I want to approach girls, but I don't want to go to a bar or a club. So if you're going to be throwing huge parties, you're basically living the club nightlife lifestyle. And that's just not a fit for most guys.

It sounds like it works for him. And for certain guys, like if you're young or you have a lot of fun in that scene, then that's great. You should definitely do something like that. Have an extended social circle, have a network of promoters, have the good spots where you're well known. So when you go in, there is that little bit of extra status and, oh, this guy looks like he owns the place.

He looks very important. That definitely helps create an initial impression. But again, beyond that, you have to follow that up. Status will get your foot in the door, but it's not going to take you to the finish line. That's really what I've seen from working with, I mean, over a thousand guys in a very private, intimate hands-on setting now. You said you worked with a lot of crypto guys.

A lot of crypto guys are introverts, right? Yeah. And that's a are introverts, right? Yeah, and that's a big thing too, right? Like, for example, like going back to what I said, I don't prescribe the same thing for everyone, right? Like a guy who's peak bull market, he wants to just go on one date a week. He probably doesn't have time to step away from meme scope

to go do cold approach, right? He's probably better off maximizing the dating apps, paying for the top tier subscription, paying for boost 24 seven, getting a really good photo shoot done, getting lots of photos tested 24 seven, because he can be on MemeScope and texting a girl back on Tinder. He can be on MemeScope and messaging a girl on Hinge, right? Or DMing girls on Tinder. You can be on MemeScope and messaging a girl on Hinge, right? Or DMing girls on Instagram. So that makes sense if you're like locked in, in that monk mode lifestyle, where you're very focused on work and maybe you're not leaving the house for that period of time. But when the market dries up, maybe, and you're going out a lot and you are seeing women day to

day when you're just out and about, why not take advantage of those opportunities? So there's a time and place for everything, right? There's a time and place for the Danibals area and social circle approach, time and place for cold approach, Instagram, dating apps. It's just about what's gonna fit your lifestyle and where you feel you tend to get the best results. Is there any specific apps you're seeing the most success with?

Hinge by far. Hinge. Yeah, so Hinge is the best because the prompts make, there's less of a social stigma associated with hinge, right? They did really good branding with like, oh, it's meant for relationships and it's designed to be deleted. So they did a really good job with that.

Bumble kind of tried to rebrand the hookup stigma of Tinder, but the problem is, is that they, the main core feature of the app is completely antithetical to how female, male, mate selection works. They have to message first. Yeah, the woman has to message first. Like in what, where in history ever have women been

the pursuers? It's just not very common, right? So a lot of guys have bad experiences on Bumble, but generally speaking across the board, most guys are getting the most results on Hinge by far. And I think it's also it's because it's prompt based, right? So beyond just the photos, like they force the prompts in between. So you're the girl is forced to see a little bit more personality.

And if you have a little bit of game or you can package and present yourself well with words, that really helps along with the photos. Also, you can just like have more info there at once, whereas it's a little more fragmented on the other apps. But I do see with guys, generally speaking, guys who are maybe like 30 and 30, 35 and up, they tend to do well on Bumble as well, especially if they're dating slightly older women, let's say women like 28, 29 and up, Bumble tends to do better for that demographic and that crowd. And then Tinder is kind of just at the bottom

of the list generally. Tinder does work well in less populated places. So if I'm in like Indianapolis or North Carolina, like smaller places outside of big metro cities, then Tinder works well, because it's still the most popular and most downloaded dating app out of all of them. Or if you're overseas, Tinder's really good.

Like, Hinge isn't used much in place, most of Europe. It's used a lot in parts of Poland, some parts like UK, Ireland, but most of Western Europe or Europe in general, Hinge is just less popular. So Tinder and Bumble are still. Wow, you got clients everywhere. I love how you know that.

I've worked with clients in every single country except Antarctica. Wow. I mean there's only like a hundred people there, so that makes sense. I would pretty much say you've done every continent at that point. Yeah, yeah. I've coached some guys in South Africa. I even had a guy in Egypt way back when.

You kind of got to learn other culture dating styles too at that point. Yeah. So generally speaking, it's largely, I would still say the general principles still apply. But for example, the way I would text a girl or approach a girl if I'm in Eastern Europe, like Poland or Kosovo or Albania is going to be different than a girl in New York or Vegas or Miami, right? More traditional cultures in Eastern Europe or maybe parts of like Asia, depending on

where you're at. If it's a more conservative culture, there's definitely some things to keep in mind, but I haven't had an issue where it's like, oh, this guy's from a different culture, I can't help him. It's just, okay, we got to just adjust stuff based on that specific culture. And I do have some other coaches who help me. So I have a coach who's out in bulk area, so he's very well aware of like Eastern European culture

and dating those types of women. So that definitely helps as well. That's cool, man. Benjamin, this was fun. Where can people get coached by you and find you, man? Yeah, the best place to find me is YouTube and Instagram. And once you're on there, you can find out about all the stuff that we do coaching-wise.

I love it, man. I'm going to check out that video, 24 in 12 hours. If anyone ever asked what video should I watch, it's the 24 girls in 24 hours. It's very, very entertaining. We'll link that one below. Thanks for coming on, man. Cool, man, I appreciate it.

Yep, check them out, guys. I'll see that one below. Thanks for coming on, man. Cool man, I appreciate it. Yep, check them out guys. I'll see you next time. See you next time.