Digital Social Hour - Transform Your Marriage with This Simple Change | Keith Yackey DSH #574

Episode Date: August 10, 2024

Are you ready to transform your marriage with one simple change? 💥 Tune in now to this eye-opening episode of Digital Social Hour with Sean Kelly, featuring Keith Yackey, as we dive deep into the secrets of bringing passion and intimacy back into your relationship! 💑✨   In this candid conversation, Keith shares invaluable insights on understanding the true desires of men and women, and how small mindset shifts can reignite the spark in your marriage. Discover why 85% of men are unhappy with their marital sex life and what you can do to avoid becoming a statistic. 🚫📉   Don't miss out on Keith's hilarious yet profound anecdotes about his own journey from heartbreak to rekindling romance, and learn how to become the most attractive version of yourself for you and your partner. 🌟   Join the conversation and find out how to connect emotionally with your spouse, bring back the fun, and maintain a strong, lasting bond. Packed with valuable insights, this episode is a must-watch for anyone looking to enhance their relationship! 💬❤️   Watch now and subscribe for more insider secrets. 📺 Hit that subscribe button and stay tuned for more eye-opening stories on the Digital Social Hour with Sean Kelly! 🚀   #DigitalSocialHour #SeanKelly #Podcast #ApplePodcasts #Spotify #KeithYackey #MarriageTransformation #RelationshipAdvice #IntimacyRekindled   #MarriageAdvice #ImproveMarriage #RelationshipPodcast #MarriageTransformation #KeithYackey   CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:40 - Why 85% of Men Aren’t Happy With Their Sex Lives 01:55 - What Women Want 05:00 - Learn a New Language in 3 Weeks 08:25 - How to Have Long Term Game 10:43 - Why 50% of Marriages End in Divorce 13:06 - Religion and Money 16:47 - How to Be an Elite Human 20:04 - Can You Be Friends with Your Ex 22:40 - How to Get Your Ex Back 25:25 - The 5 Attraction Dials 29:05 - How to Get More Sex from Your Wife 31:03 - How Often Should You Have Sex 31:50 - How to Ask for What You Want 32:40 - The Sting of Rejection 35:20 - Where to Find Morten   APPLY TO BE ON THE PODCAST: https://www.digitalsocialhour.com/application BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [e-mail]   GUEST: Keith Yackey  https://www.instagram.com/keithyackey https://msha.ke/keithyackey#links   SPONSORS: Deposyt Payment Processing: https://www.deposyt.com/seankelly   LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I can get something. As opposed to, I'm going to do this because that's the standard of who I am. Whether she was here or not, I'm going to not leave all over the kitchen. I'm not a kid.

You know what I mean? So that mentality. So what we've discovered and you're a man. So if you disagree with this, I would be shocked. But yeah, we like sex. But what do we want more? We want to be wanted. And yet most guys aren't very wantable.

Wherever you guys are watching this show, I would truly appreciate it if you follow or subscribe. It helps a lot with the algorithm. It helps us get bigger and better guests and it helps us grow the team. Truly means a lot. Thank you guys for supporting. And here's the episode. All right, guys, Keith Yockey here.

He's going to teach you how to get laid again, right? That's right. Bring sex back into marriages. Let's make sex great again. Yeah, there's a lot of sexless marriages right now, right? Yeah, there really is. 85% of guys aren't happy with the quantity or quality of sex within their marriage. 85%? 85%.

Holy crap. That's way harder than I thought. We've given it a syndrome. We call it DDS. We call it dry dick syndrome. My wife and I are here on the planet just helping dudes you know yeah actually regain the it's we say that because the the hook in a man's mind if he's not having sex he's like i got a problem but he doesn't know how to fix it and the modern solutions for most men to fix it are do more around the house buyer gifts say yes more be more agreeable and it's's like, uh, not that those actions are wrong, but the attitude for most men is I'm going to do this so I can get something as opposed to, I'm going to do this because that's the standard of who I am, whether she was here or

not, I'm going to not leave all over the kitchen, but I'm not a kid that, you know what I mean? So that mentality. So, um, what we've discovered and you're a man, so you, if you disagree with this, I would be shocked, but yeah, we like sex, but what do we want more? We want to be wanted. And yet most guys aren't very wantable. Wow. We're getting deep already, but yeah, let's dive into that. So when you say wantable, you mean emotionally? Everything. Most like, so women, they connect, they connect through conversation they want to connect emotionally they want to have a husband that when when she talks to him he's actually like listening the way you and i are listening to each other and we're present right right and yet most guys are like they'll put in 15 minutes they'll pretend to listen hoping that oh should i hope

that scored enough brownie points so i can get some action upstairs right like there's always this i'll do this if i get action i'll do this if i get action and so what we've discovered is that when there is a sexless relationship or like very little sex or if it's just uh you know it's like pity sex or my buddy garrett calls it vaginal masturbation where you're just masturbating inside of it but she's not really there you know mentally yeah well guys we hate that because we're like what are we doing here yeah and we want to be one and we want her to be a part of it but what happens is we've discovered is that dude women if they aren't emotionally connected connection outside the bedroom leads to connection inside the bedroom and dudes don't they don't get that yeah but yet they can talk to their buddies about a bunch of but when their

wife talks something like oh i'm not interested in that. And they're like, dude, the key to her opening her legs is through talking to her in her heart, man. But guys just don't understand. But I come from the world before I got married where I had sex with hundreds of women. So I understood short-term game really, really well. But when Jesse left me seven years ago, I didn't understand long-term attraction. That's where most guys really f**k up. She was your first wife?

Jesse was my second wife, dude. Second wife. Yeah, I already went through a divorce, had three other kids, and they all live here in Vegas. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I did most of my activity in Vegas. Okay. Yeah. No wonder you got hundreds of bodies out here now.

Yeah. The club scene out here, they're ready to just throw themselves at you. Yeah, I never really did the club scene that much. Really? I have a very unique way about going about actual game because we have single guys come through or guys that will come to our program they they're not getting laid they realize they're not very wantable meaning they've got dad bots now they they they can't clean up after themselves like like the hamper is only one foot away but

they can't seem to get the underwear there so So now their wives are like, dude, am I your mom? And moms don't want to have sex with kids. You know what I mean? So it's like, so they put themselves in this very interesting situation of really like hoping to interview that their wife might grant them a little piece of every once in a while. And it demasculates them. It disempowers them.

And then they start getting super desperate. And that's like the most least attractive sexy thing in the world so it's just this downroad spiral right so did you see that in your previous marriages where the sex just wasn't happening as often yeah well i got i got married at 18 wow and i was under a really tight born again christian frame and i actually became a pastor of a church no started yeah dude they call me the pastor now but i wasn't actually the pastor of a church uh long back when so i married this girl uh when i was 18 thinking this is what god wants for me and not that that's a bad idea but i wasn't attracted to her you know what i mean lovely lady yeah i wasn't really physically attracted to her so so sex wasn't this big thing and in a

christian culture and a lot of people uh in that religion they carry they carry a lot of guilt and shame around sexual desires that's bad bad bad bad now you're made okay now it's good good good good so the mental frame is twisted so when we went through that um i married her as i was a virgin wow we actually live right down the street from the hotel where I left my virginity. No way. In Dana Point. Yeah, it's pretty funny. So you literally were a virgin until 18?

Yeah, man. That's insane. I had no game whatsoever when I met my first wife. That's crazy. Had three kids. They're like 25, 22, and like 29. I don't know. I just said, I said, I know you guys are in your twenties.

I can't remember all these dates. I love you, but I can't remember all these dates. And, uh, I remember their birthdays. I just don't remember know you guys are in your 20s. I can't remember all these dates. I love you, but I can't remember all these dates. And I remember their birthdays. I just don't remember how old they are. And then I realized when I was like 30 years old, I'm like, dude, what was I doing? So I was really strict born-again Christian from like 18 to about 28. And it taught me a lot about business and a lot about drive and a lot about discipline. But I knew nothing about women.

Yeah. Yeah. Christians don't be pulling like that, right? Especially pastors. Pastors can't even. Dude, you got a really fun, dry humor, man. This is enjoyable. Wait, no. Pastors can't get laid at all, right? Or is that a different? That's priests. That's the Catholics. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And nuns, right? Yeah. Priests and nuns. imagine a life without sex dude dude imagine a life in a marriage where you thought cool i'm gonna get blowjobs i'm tapped the rest of my life and after a year being married you have no action at all and now you're trapped no action and trapped this is kind

of why one of our premises is you know a lot of single guys they want to have game because they want to have options of who they can have sex with right which you know why would you blame that but you know who needs game more is the married dude because a single dude go like hey becky you want to have sex she's like no way get out of here creepy he goes well hey darla you want and he can he has all the options in the world but if you're married you got one shot on goal and if she says no and over and over and over and over again what are you going to do right so like you should have game which game simply just means you understand i'm not showing up to a basketball court with soccer cleats i'm going to play the game the

way it is all right long-term attraction what does that mean how do i do that how do i stay uh one of our mantras is become the most attractive version of you for you right i love that because this is stuff people don't even realize when they're trying to get laid, the long-term game. None, dude. Yeah. That's why everybody, they go, dude, when we were dating, we were having sex.

I go, well, when's the last time you had a really good dating life with your wife? Oh, we don't do that anymore. Oh, shocker. So that's why you're not having sex. Yeah. There was periods of my, because I'm in a six-year relationship where I wouldn't take her out on dates for years and we weren't doing it that often. Yeah. But but now i at least two day nights a week oh cool

and it's definitely helped yeah do you guys do like fun stuff or what what tell me a little bit about your day yeah so every weekend we try to do a new activity that we've never done before so like oh i like this yes we just jesse's off camera agreeing with that she's like that's great idea yeah it's fun so we'll do like escape rooms. We've done break rooms. Have you been to one of those? We've done probably 12 of them in Orange County. We take our kids.

We love them. Yeah. Good to de-stress. We'll go to like farms. We'll go to shelters. We'll just do like random stuff. That's cool, man. Yeah.

And then during the week, do you do something a little more chill? Yeah. At least two date nights during the week. And we play like Fortnite. We do puzzles together or whatever. Oh, cool. Yeah. You guys have kids? Not yet. We have two date nights during the week. And we play like Fortnite. We do puzzles together or whatever. Oh, cool. Yeah. You guys have kids?

Not yet. We have two dogs, so kind of. But we want kids. Australian Shepherd, Golden Retriever. Dogs are angels and firm. Changed my life, dude. For real. Really?

Yeah. That happened to me four years ago, but I wanted to hear your story. How did a dog change your life? I had bad anxiety. And getting a dog really helped, honestly. Are they here? No, they're at the house. Oh, got it.

Yeah. But no, for real, just something to look forward to and think about when you're not home. How crazy it is if when you walk out of the house to go get something in the garage, you come back and your dogs freak out to see you again.

Yeah, pure love. Oh. It's almost like, dude, this wasn't a long trip. You're back. I'm so excited. I'm like, yeah, my dog, when the butts wiggle like crazy, you just go. Yeah, my Australian Shepherd does that. That's true like, dude, this wasn't a long trip. You're back. I'm so excited. I'm like, yeah, my dog, when the butts wiggle like crazy, you just go.

Yeah, my Australian Shepherd does that. That's true love, dude. Yeah. And then she knows when we're leaving. So we were packing up and putting everything out. She was like sitting on the couch like, you d***. You just got back from Orlando three days ago. Where are you going?

They get so upset. Dude, and jealous. Like her and I will hold hands on the couch. She's a 10-pound. She's the best dog ever other than you two, of course. She'll come in and we'll be holding hands and she'll start licking my hand

like what are you doing touching her? It's hilarious. That's so funny. There's a couple clips on your Instagram I want to dive into. Okay, yeah.

So one of them you said a woman prioritized her children more than the man usually. Yeah. And I'm 100% right because the statistic on that is we've 100% of the time never seen a mom divorce her kids, but she has divorced the dad. Right. So that's a good

way of looking at it actually. That's why I'm so dogmatic about it. Cause like, well, that's the facts. Yeah. 50% divorce rate these days. Yeah. Crazy. You're flipping a coin. Yeah. I mean, that is so odd. My dad went through too. too yeah nobody would jump on a plane with a 50 success rate yeah but everybody's excited to rush into marriage yeah i think it's pressure societal pressure everything is societal pressure yeah just trying to fit in right oh you're 35 you're not married you're a loser like yeah oh other than he built a company that he set up for the rest of his life and now he can actually spend time with his wife. That guy must be the smart guy. Everything is backwards in our society, man.

It's so weird. All the masses are doing this shit and yet guys like you and me are like, nah, we're not going to do that. We're going to do our own thing. How are you doing it? We're just not doing what you're doing. Yeah, I stopped trying to fit in

probably after college. I think school really tries to force you to want to fit in. Yeah. But you got to get out of that mindset. kids don't get about you it's it's brain cancer man yeah it's toxic just do your own thing man yeah like when people are so normal it's like a red flag to me you know what i mean when i'm talking to someone and they're trying to like be someone they're not i could see straight through it dude that is so true like just be yourself man how old are you i'm 27 27 okay so

college was like about five years ago yeah i only made it one year but yeah oh got it yeah four years of that i don't think i would have been the same person with all that brainwashing going on yeah it's that's exactly what it is yeah did you make it all the way i never went to college oh you never went no man i i got out of high school as fast as I could. A week before I graduated high school, I proposed to my then wife or my fiance at the time. We got married. I grew up in Southern California surfing, skating, doing that whole thing. And I moved to Montana to start a church with her. Wow.

What a change. Yeah. So I just went up to the snow. And my dad always told me, whatever you do, don't go to a place where it snows more than six months a year. And don't do manual labor. Yeah. And dude, about six months into there, I was in and don't do manual labor yeah and dude about six months into there i was in a snowstorm doing manual labor in montana going i didn't do a damn thing my dad

told me to do and i'm kind of having the time of my life reverse manifestation interesting there you go do you still go to church right now you left that life completely no i left that like i read about jesus i like i think think Jesus is a bad as a man. Is he God's son? I don't know how I would know. I think it's the coolest story ever though. Religion fascinates me and I've had on a ton of people that are against it. But when you look at the money flow of it, that's the part that gets me.

Cause I'll call it the Mormon church in specific. So they bring in $7 billion per year. Yeah. Their expenses are only a billion. So they're pocketing $6 billion a year. Yeah. Cause I'll call it the Mormon church in specific. So they bring in $7 billion per year. Yeah. Their expenses are only a billion. So they're pocketing $6 billion a year. Yeah. And they're putting it all into real estate and paying off the top people. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty up, dude. It's, um, we, we know on our podcast, we just recently talked about what I think about Joel Osteen and pastors and all this stuff. I'm, I'm, I'm a truly deep down, huge fan of Jesus, a huge fan of his work. I cannot stand the church. I cannot stand pastors.

I think they're, I think, I wish them well, but to me, they're just the fakest people on planet earth. Joel's got to be bringing in tens of millions with that church, right? Oh yeah, dude. But here's, they use the tactic of, if you sow the seed, they use a crazy Bible. If you sow your seed, God's going to bless you sixfold, 90 fold, 10 fold, whatever.

And he's okay. Okay, cool. But sow it to me. You're like, how is that not the most obvious scam on planet earth? But people want, I believe people want to connect with the creator so bad that they're willing to believe that. Yeah. They're playing on people's emotions, making them donate 10% of their income.

And that times a thousand people is tens of millions of dollars. Exactly, dude. You multiply that by all the churches in the country. It's pretty crazy. Billions of dollars. Dude, Jesus went into the temple, according to the Bible. I mean, if it's right, but I mean, it's a story and he starts turning over the tables with it.

Do you know this story? No. Okay. Jesus, he's this Jewish dude and they were under Roman law, but the Jews are so, they're such dogmatic about their religion then and now that they had a ruling Jewish tribal thing, like 70 guys.

They called it the Sanhedrin. And they were basically like the law in Israel and they would just pay off the Romans and say, hey called it the Sanhedrin. And they were basically like the law in Israel. And they would just pay off the Romans and say, hey, we'll handle our own. So all the Jews, like three times years would come up to the temple and to make offerings. And so let's just say, you know, a little, you know, Jewish Joseph down the street brings his family and he's got his little lamb for his sacrifice. And in the temple, they'd be like, no, this isn't going to work. You're going to need to buy our lamb. And they charge like five times as much. And so these guys are making bank off of this religious feeling. Jesus comes in there with his boys, with a whip of cords, starts turning

over their tables, letting their animals loose and throwing their money all around. I don't know about you, dude, but that's a cool story. whoever's doing that in the and and like every other chapter you read jesus they're like oh and the mob got so mad they wanted to kill him and he slipped away you don't read about those guys nowadays no i just think this is a dude that went to his dying breath believing and basically telling quit ripping people off i think it's that's not a hard guy to get behind yeah jesus was behind that, yeah. Jesus was a real one. Yeah. Cheers to Jesus, dude. See if we meet him one day. Yeah. Yeah.

Some people say they have. They do. The only time I really met God was on Mushrooms and Joshua Tree looking up at the stars. I could see that. I'm looking up and I was like, oh, that's what all these books are talking about?

The guy who built this? Biggest trip was, I'm like, dude, we are on a spaceship heading through space with no windshield. That's a mushroom thought for you. Wow. We're on a spaceship with no windshield.

So you are not a flat earth believer. I guess not. Hey, I didn't say the ship was round. I'm just saying it has no windshield. Whether it's flat or round, I don't. I love mushrooms, dude. They're the best. They're my favorite.

Do you do cannabis much? I used to. Oh, yeah. Now I don't. Do you? THC sativa makes me up, makes me alive. It's the opposite of what happens for most people. Oh, the sativa?

Yeah. That's the head high one, right? Yeah. Saturn, sativa, indica, indicauch. Yeah. I get anxiety on it, to be honest. I don't know why. I used to be able to smoke it carefree.

Really? Yeah, like all day. I think it's beautiful. Mushrooms, cannabis. I think you get in touch with something that, I mean, dude, we're waterproof. What the f***? We recharge with no cord. That's pretty f***ing incredible.

It is pretty. I skinned up my knuckles. We did a little fight camp thing in Orlando to go watch our buddy, and we did j and we did jujitsu for a couple days yeah and these things were like three times that size just three or four days ago holy crap but yours does the same thing yeah your body heals right what the f**k dude that's incredible we're an elite species we are dude apex predators yeah we're aliens in my my eyes yeah i'm sure the hippopotamuses are looking what the f**k are those guys doing i mean every other animal has like a herd mentality, but we're just doing our own thing.

That's a good point. You still do mushrooms or? Yeah, dude. Damn. Yeah, dude, I want to be in touch. I did gummies this morning. No way. Yes.

I call them my supplements. Yeah. I want to be as elite and tuned in as I possibly can as a human being, Keith. Like, we're not promised tomorrow. And whoever I meet today, I have one guiding passion in life. Yes, I like helping guys get sex because it's amazing. And I truly want to see families connected.

Because when you go through a divorce and you see three kids split up in a family, that has an effect on you. You go, I don't want to do that again. I did that to them. and that's not good leadership. But I was like, I have one goal. I want to leave the people that I, I want people to feel better about themselves after having met me. To me, that's leadership.

So today, I've met some really incredible people. I'm around incredible people, and I want them all to feel better about themselves. And usually that means telling someone the truth so they can actually get out of space cadet land and deal with the reality. I love that. Yeah, I think the truth is important.

Some people take it like personal, but you're trying to help people and some of them just take it the wrong way, I think. We've become a really sensitive society. Very. And it's like, what is your problem, bro? You're balding and you're thinning hair.

Just shave your head. You're not going to offend us. Just do it. Yeah. You think you could pull off the bald look? Dude, I just shaved my head recently. Oh, yeah?

That's why I got, I just shaved it, but she's like, can you grow it back? I'm like, I'll grow it back for a little bit. I had it shaved, not like big,

but like down to like one or two as a buzz just because I'm like, I grew up skateboarding and playing football and we always buzzed our head. Yeah. I've thought about getting a buzz cut. Yeah.

See how it would look. Just do it. Yeah. You have, you know, what's cool about your head, even though I'm not like a head specialist, you, you're not sure round. Jesse will tell you, you're more, you're more oblong. Yeah. It'll make it look better.

Yeah. I'm oval-ish. Yeah. I'm a little more, I'm a little more round. Interesting. But I make up with, I make up with a good personality. with a good personality yeah personality is important man dude it's how we connect as humans yeah it's slept on as men we don't really focus on it as much right yeah it's game dude it's game um so there's this belief that you could be friends with your ex partner right

okay on social media are you a believer in that yeah sure. Sure. Because some people get jealous, like your current partner. If my new partner was like, hey, would you not talk to her? Well, if it was the mother of my kids, she's never asked me not to talk to the mother of my kids.

But, um, I think it all has to do with intent. You know what I mean? It's like, a lot of people don't have a lot of sexual discipline, so therefore they don't have a lot of sexual reward. Yeah.

I can see that. A lot of people don't have financial discipline. They don't can see that. A lot of people don't have financial discipline. They don't have financial reward. A lot of people don't have physical discipline, so they don't have physical reward. So it's the same thing. Like people, I think people, I always say this,

like your ball sack isn't empty on accident and your bank account isn't full on accident. You have to invest time and understand how things work so guys will be like dude um you know my family is my most important thing i go cool how much have you invested in becoming a great dad a great leader a great husband a great this oh none of that well you think it's going to happen naturally you idiot no i just that's how i think i was like well i i'm really into jiu-jitsu right now, like obsessed.

And every time I go, I get better because I learned something new that I go, why am I stuck? How did he just tap me? How'd that guy just choke me in like four seconds? Oh, because you didn't know this move. And then he'll go, let me show you how I did it. And you go, oh, thank you. I'll, I'll keep my elbow tight next time. And then you grow. Well, that's because I invested time to learn. Being, being great with women is a skill. This lady right there hated me so much that she said, when she left me, she goes, you come home, you run your business, you come and talk about your business, and you fall asleep on the couch. My life would be better without you in it.

That was her basically parting words. Wow. I was like, oh, you know me better than anybody. And if you're making that statement about me, that's probably true. I'm going to have to sit with that one. And that's when I came up with the realization, I'm the problem, which means I'm the solution.

She's only marrying me. If she doesn't want to have sex with me, why? Well, I went from 185 pounds of tiger meat wrapped in barbed wire kind of like i am now to 245 pounds looking as pregnant as she is when we have our baby so like well she didn't sign up for that right you know what i mean like you didn't tell her double lord was coming into town that's not who she fucking wanted so like we a lot of guys bait and switch like crazy and and're like, well, I provide, I protect. Shouldn't I just get, it's like, it's not how it works. That's not how it works.

Wow. So she actually divorced you? Yeah. Done. Gone. Left, was gone for like six months. Done. And were you texting her every day? At the first week or two, I did everything wrong. And it was pathetic. How pathetic? 10 out of 10, 10 attempt, 10 out of 10. What'd you do? I wrote songs. Wow.

I wrote, I did covers of songs. I did PowerPoint presentations. I'd call up crying. I did everything you do not want to do to try and get her back. And all I did was push her farther away. Damn. And that's where I came to the real, I hired three coaches right away. I was like, I got to figure this out because dude, you're so heartbroken. You're so heartbroken, man. I w I was doing a six hour work as on a Monday. I did like three chest

workouts, swimming sauna, which cause I did. What do I do? I'm so sad. I'm just going to the gym just to try and get my mind off of the fact that I've had sex with hundreds of women before I met her. And I can't keep the one I really wanted. And I knew I fucked up. So what happens is that's when I realized, wait a second, I'm listening to these coaches. I knew game short-term game really well before. So I'm like, okay, you know what, dude? Not only are you the problem, you're the solution, but the only way to get your ex back is you've got to move on. And the only way to move on is you've got to move on. So growing up playing football and sports,

I was like, that's a one-page playbook. Okay, I'm just going to do that. No matter what I feel, I'm going to just do that. And so I had to move on, and I had to realize the way a woman is attracted to the man is because she goes he's doing that because that's who he is it's not a put on so i'm not in shape so my wife will like me i'm in shape because that's my standard i'm not uh i'm not good at business so that jesse will be like oh that's so cool that's

my standard i'm a steward i've been gifted steward. I've been gifted a stewardship that I have to keep and work and grow regardless if she stays with me or not. So these are like, these are like these, these mentalities. One of our mantras is her, her, her response does not dictate my standard. Interesting. And that's a common way of thinking like, Oh, let me get in shape. So my ex can see and maybe be physically attracted to me again. Right. Yeah. And you're still seeking their approval. Right. And that's what we call the mom matrix. Like you're a little kid saying, Mommy, can I have a cookie or a treat?

And, dude, moms don't want to have sex with kids either. Right. So how did you pull it off six months later after the breakup? I went all in on me and became a better parent. So I lived here in Vegas. And they moved back to California. But I would still have my daughter out every other weekend. I would FaceTime.

I would call and make sure I was really focused. Because I realized I was a parent. That's where I came up with the five dial system. Do we want to talk about that or no? Yeah, let's dive into that. Okay, so the five dial system that every woman is judging their man on is. How good of a parent is he? How good of a partner, quote unquoteunquote, best friend is he? Like, does she feel connected to you?

How good of a producer is he? Meaning they don't want to live in cloth seats, corollas, and one-bedroom apartments forever. How good of a player is he? Meaning, is he playful? Does he have fun anymore? I always quote the great American poet, Cyndi Lauper, girls just want to have fun.

Yeah, that's a great song, man. Dude, if if you figure out fun we call fun is the fountainhead if you figure out fun everything else flows from it and then the fifth dial is standing your power and not just not just saying yes dear like a lot of guys especially businessmen i work with almost exclusively business dudes um but they they they're the boss at the office and then they come home it's almost like they check in they're like what do i do now and she's like dude where's the man that i fell in love with so all these five dials are the attractive dials once we dial those up we call that guy a provocateur a provocateur is simple a man who provokes his wife to lust after him i love that it's like it's not a secret why we have a lot of sex.

It's we both are sexy to each other and to the world. Yeah. So being there more for your kids, that made her, you tried to do you and this? That was that. Secondly, there's some psychology involved and some strategy. The number one rule of psychology is

everybody wants what they can't have, right? Right. So when you move on and you realize hey i don't need anything from you anymore i'll be an amazing co-parent with you and i'll do anything i can to be a great human being in your life but i'm gonna go do my thing well dude i got right back into physical shape the way she met me um i was a better parent again i was always kind of good at the producer about me not always but like i've been making a lot of money for a decade or more and um and then my playfulness dude i stopped taking her on dates bro we used to this that's the best dancer you ever met like this gal can dance like crazy so

we'd go dancing and then we stopped i stopped going dancing with her i stopped taking her out i stopped having fun i stopped dating her so my playfulness my player dial i just i just her mom would come bring her uh her grandma my her mom my daughter's grandma would bring her up to vegas and i would i would get a babysitter for the the our daughter and then i would take the mom out to like a comedy show just go have fun yeah and then in my power standing my power standing your power means i'm not i don't do my personal development so that she will give me a pat on the back i do my personal love because that's me i don't um most guys when they they're afraid to initiate sex because they've been rejected for so long and so it's like well are you afraid to ask for sex and if you get rejected do you act like a patty little

these are like questions we ask and that's most rejected, do you act like a pouty little b****? These are like questions we ask. And that's most guys. When they get rejected, they act pouty, they get passive aggressive. For sure. Well, maybe if I got more sex around here, maybe I'd hang up that f***ing painting on the wall that I already promised you I'd hang up

but I didn't do. You know what I mean? Standing in your power means you do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it without f***ing fault. Well, dude, this lady asked me,

she goes, hey, can you, we moved into a new place and she goes, hey, can, this was, I don't know, four or five years ago. And she goes she was hey can you we moved into a new place and she goes hey can this was uh i don't know four or five years ago and she goes hey can you can you can you hang the painting on the wall we're moved in i go yeah no problem like three weeks later hey i don't want

to be a nag but can you yeah yeah i'll get to it yeah i'll get to it a month or two later she's like dude i don't want to be a nag but you said you'd hang that i'm like you know what you're right it took me 30 minutes to do everything she asked me to do. But what happened? The resent goes up because she goes, he doesn't do what he says he's going to do. And what happens is now her trust in me goes down. And when the trust goes down, the lust goes down. Wow. This is all so relatable, man. I'm glad I'm talking to you because that example you just said has happened to me. Yeah. And I'm sure many guys too. We've all done it, man.

But here's the crazy thing. We all feel entitled to sex because we provide, we produce, and we protect. Yeah. Like we're doing those things. Yeah, but it's like, dude, that's one part of it. What about the lover that she had that she could talk to about anything and you guys used to sit in the car on certain nights and the windows would fog up just because you're talking,

listening to your favorite music. You guys ever done that? Yeah. When you're dating, just listen to music. Oh my God, hold on. Don't, I love this song. Then we're going to go, oh my God, I love this song. Well, when you stop doing that,

she's like, where did my best friend go? My wife felt so lonely in our marriage that she goes, I'm more lonely than if I was single. Wow. I was such a piece of shit with our child for the first two years when she left she said i don't even want to have another kid with you damn you weren't there i was i was such a dodo bird in this man like just lost lost and yet most but i was still like the week before my friends like hey how's your marriage i think we're doing great we don't ever want to admit it as guys right but i didn't know yeah like there's gonna be guys listening to this that are like he's talking about this a way i've

never heard anybody talk about it but it's only because i'm just telling my own stupid stories that most guys relate to like yeah i do feel entitled for sex and i do get pouty and passive aggressive when i get denied. And you know what? I don't want to ask anymore because I've been rejected forever. But I don't know what to do except go jerk off in porn. Then they do that. And then they feel guilty.

And then their God's mad at them. And then, dude, it's just a cluster. That's a vicious cycle. Yeah. Very. What? I had a couple of my life. Yeah.

It's just a vicious cycle. You feel like after. Even if you're not religious, just like a bad feeling, you bad feeling you know yeah dude it's you eat candy for too long you eventually you're like this is not good for me yeah i need a good home cooked meal how many times a week are you advocating for people to have sex as much as they want wow yeah so like we have sex probably three times a week okay yeah we're not we don't but last week i think we did it four or five times so it's just kind of the season people with young kids are probably not going to get in as much as possible. We call kids cock blocks because that's initially what they are.

But that's okay because that's a part of it. Having kids nowadays and having kids in the past are very different. Back in the past, we wanted more warriors and more farmers. Yeah, my grandparents had like 10 brothers and sisters. Somebody's got to work the farm. Someone's got to fucking go kill the tribe on the other hill that wants to kill our ladies right yeah but nowadays it's just like these are just pendants everywhere you know so it's a different it's a different it's a different cycle so i just whatever whatever

they want but what we teach guys is to ask for what they want but know that you're the dude that can deserve it have undeniable proof that you're a good parent you're a good partner this partner one's really interesting we call it the best friend dial but the the saint you know that stink have you ever been rejected asking for sex asking for sex yeah probably yeah okay yeah well i've been rejected having had sex with hundreds of women which means i got rejected by hundreds more Sex, yeah, probably. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Well, I've been rejected, Tom. Having had sex with hundreds of women, which means I got rejected by hundreds more. And Jessie doesn't always want to have sex with me every time I ask.

Every time I'm horny doesn't mean she's ready. And that sting of rejection feels horrible for a human being. That same feeling is exactly what a woman feels when she feels neglected. So now she's in a relationship with a dude that doesn't even talk to her doesn't know how to connect with her or the only thing he wants to do is everything he wants to do and he wants her to come along it's the same feeling so i realized that a lot of times men have neglected the reason jessica's when we were asking we were

talking to people in the in the waiting room they're like why'd she leave did you cheat on her did you beat on her i go no i didn't cheat on her i neglected her she was lonely right we moved into our the day she told me if she's leaving we were moving into our dream house over here the day you were moving in she goes i'm gonna help you move in but i'm not staying holy crap yeah my world came crashing down that's crazy because you're expecting a new house new lifestyle lifestyle, and she's not there. So you're in that house even though it's big,

you're there alone. Empty. Crazy. Shaq was just talking about this. He had like a 10,000 square foot house but no kids were there, no wife. He was lonely, man.

Dude, guys don't like being lonely. I know guys are trying to be tough. I'm tough and whatever. It's like, no, dude, listen. Every heart, the honey for the man's heart

is a woman who loves him. I thrive with a good woman by my side man right because i was lonely for years but that woman to come home to after a long day work or whatever it's huge dude she she cooks most of my meals uh or at least heats them up the chef will make them before him but she'll heat them up and or but before when she used to make a lot of my food she'll like make it she'll stare and like wait for my first bite and if i'm not moaning she'll be like you but before when she used to make a lot of my food she'll like make it and she'll stare and like wait for my first bite and if I'm not moaning she'll be like you don't like it

I'm like no I love it it's f***ing amazing but like a woman who cares for a guy like that it makes us as men feel so good yeah purpose yeah

for sure it's like wow she wants me no for real man yeah my opinions have changed because growing up I didn't even want kids my early 20s but now I really want a family.

Oh, cool, man. Yeah. Are you guys trying? Yes, we're getting married next year. And then we'll see what happens, dude. Congrats, man. Yeah. Anything you want to close off with or promote?

Listen, most men are really struggling with this. And the answers out there about doing all this other shit, I call them pseudo solutions. But yet everybody still talks about you got to go do more you got to go do this it's like no you have to become the guy that she married she already is your type you already her type she married you at one point she used to be into you and most every story was we used to like rabbits or we used to have good sex now it's gone means it's still there you can get it

back but here's what has to happen to get your ex back or to get the sex back you've got to get your ball sack and your backbone back you've got to become that man that she fell in love with again and be better so where she goes i'm so honored to be with this guy so if a guy this is the camera yeah if if you're out there watching this and listening to this and you're like, hey man, I'm exactly the dude you're talking about.

It's very, very simple. Head to marriedgame.com and there's a video there where I go in depth about the dials and how you mess it up and how easy it is for you to fix it

if you simply just follow these step-by-step things and get your power back. So that's it. Love it. We'll link below. Thanks for coming on, man. Thank you, bro. Thanks for watching, get your power back. So that's it. Love it. We'll link below. Thanks for coming on, man. Thank you, bro.

Thanks for watching, guys, as always. See you next time.