Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Ann Dowd – Returning to Aunt Lydia, late-blooming success & the anxiety of starting again

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

'The Testaments’ star Ann Dowd joins the show. Over afternoon tea, Ann reflects on returning to Aunt Lydia for ‘The Testaments,’ why she felt unexpectedly nervous stepping back into the role, and how the world has changed since ‘The Handmaid's Tale’ first premiered. She also looks back on her unforgettable work in ‘The Leftovers’ and ‘Mass,’ shares the story of a mysterious prediction that kept her going through years of struggle, and opens up about success arriving later in life. This episode was recorded in The Living Room of The Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills, CA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Plus, you can revisit all the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. So follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcast. Hey, it's Jessie. Today on the show you know her as Aunt Lydia in The Handmaid's Tale and the Testaments streaming now on Hulu, it's Ann Dowd. Even though you've done it so, so much, the question is, can I do it? I have to, you know, and I say to myself, what are you going to do about this anxiety? Because it's a little unfortunate to live with that. You don't want to, I want to just embrace it.

This is Dinner's On Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. So today I'm at the Peninsula Beverly Hills Hotel. afternoon tea at the living room. This is one of those classic Hollywood old school experiences that feels genuinely so special. Their tea service is legendary for a very good reason. Warm housemaid scones, lemon curd, jam, enormous tea selection, ranging from Earl Gray to Tahitian vanilla, delicate sweets. It's all very classy. Having tea with And out feels like a slightly cheeky nod to the Testaments where mastering the art of hosting and serving tea is part of becoming a proper young woman in Gilead. Thankfully, the tea service here is a slightly less ominous.

Okay, Anne should be arriving soon, so I'm going to have tea with Aunt Lydia. Let's get to the conversation. Do you live in the area? I heard you were out like 10 minutes ago, though. She's leaving her house now, and then you're here at 10 minutes. Well, I live in New York City, so I'm staying with it. Oh, the London. Are you staying here? Oh, the London. Okay, gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha. Where in New York are you? What area? Chelsea. I'm in Chelsea, too. No way. I can't believe I've never run into you on the streets. You live in New York?

Well, we have a place there. We have like a little Pietitare. I'm mostly here. Okay. I'm really excited to have you because now I will have achieved getting three of the four major cast members of Mass, which is one of my favorite movies. Martha Plimpton and Jason Isaacs have both been on. Oh, wonderful. And now you. And you'll read. And I want to get Reed on too. Yeah.

I have not gotten, I know read personally, but yes. Oh, you do? Wow. So, yes, that movie was incredible. And Fran is someone I've known, the writer and director, someone I've known for a while. That film was outstanding. I've talked with both Martha and Jason about this movie. I'm so glad.

And, I mean, all four of you, your work in that film was just incredible. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, it was such a unique film. I got when I started with Mass of all the things, but this is since I brought it up. But it's such a unique film because it takes place, like,

the set is like this. It's literally a table. And the whole film takes place around the table. You get up once in a while. But the way that Fran, the director and writer, just made it so dynamic at a table.

And part of that is just, is his writing. Yes, of course. You know, with these two couples meeting around the death of their children, one being a school shooter and the other being...

Can you even imagine? No. But so topical. as well, unfortunately. But it just destroyed me that film. Some of the best acting I've ever seen on screen. Oh, I'm so glad, sweetheart. Thank you.

Yeah, I really, truly loved it. Thank you. Thank you so much. Appreciate that. Yeah, yeah. It was one of those very, very fortunate experiences, which I'm so grateful for. How many days, how many pages did you shoot a day, do you think?

Because there's a lot of dialogue. It's all dialogue. It's all dialogue. It's all dialogue. It's all. I know you went fast. I remember Martha Tunga you went fast. Yeah. Yeah. It was eight days around the table. So how many, I don't know how many ages that was. I mean, that's a lot of material issues. Yeah, yeah. Well, the other thing about this

film, you know, with masks, there were very long shots, too. Yes. I remember one scene, I'm really geeking out about this movie, but where just Fran had the camera just moving like this way, from one couple to the other couple, and it went like this for, I don't know, eight minutes and you know. I never saw it. You never saw it. No, I never saw.

Do you normally not watch your work? Really? No, two reasons. When things, when something goes extremely well, those days, those shoots, those scenes, and the feeling of joy at the end of a day, you know that feeling? I'm sure you do from your show. You go home and you just think, yes, today was that day and you have a beverage and you relax and just go off to sleep.

I don't want to go and watch that because I did it. Do you know what I mean? Also, sometimes you watch it, and then it wasn't as good as you thought it was. The other thing is, I found for me. We all are critical, and then that ruins the experience. What's the point of that?

Interesting, yeah. And even your cast members, out of respect for them, just to keep the spirit of it alive and experience itself, I found that it just works that. It hasn't changed. Have you never watched anything you've ever done?

I think right at the beginning of filming. Okay. Of what? Just when I would get jobs, small jobs. Okay. Oh, at the beginning of your career. Yeah. Of filming.

Yeah. It began with theater, of course. Got it. That's fun. Yes. So, yes, I did the beginning and then I realized, oh, no, but this isn't, you're not enjoying this. You're criticizing this.

And what kind of response is that when you work hard for something? Right. And so I just go on the feeling I had all filming, and that's enough for me. Well, it's working, for sure. Oh, I'm so glad. Thank you, sweetheart. Yes, of course. I feel bad about not watching handmaids.

I mean, Testaments. I didn't watch handmaids either. Okay. Though I love the experience of shooting it, very, very much. I just walked in those people having their tea, all those women together. You know imagine. I walked in, and there was, this is a type of hotel I think we might be at. there was a woman covered in a scarf, and I just saw her, she had one eye showing,

and there was just a little, like, blue line. I was like, oh, she was recovering from plastic surgery. So I love that. We're in Beverly Hills. Listen, these are the things that happened. So I walked in, I was like, this is where I would want to recover. Yes. Go to the spa, get some tea, just live in the peninsula.

How are you, too? Well, thank you so much. How are you? I'm good, thank you. You look very nice today. Thank you. Thank you so much. Perfect, thank you.

Thank you so much. Do you have questions regarding our afternoon tea experience? Let me answer? Well, what's going to happen? We're choosing a tea and then are you just going to bring something out? What's happening? It's a preset menu. Okay.

You do choose your tea. You choose whether you want to enjoy a glass of French sparkling apple cider or a glass of champagne. Do you have any dietary restrictions or food allergies? No, no, I don't. Amazing. That way you get to enjoy everything that we have to offer. It's two different stones, five different stones. different stones, five different pastries, five different sandwiches.

I have your choice of taste. You basically just need to choose your... Just choose a tea. Your tea, correct. That's lovely. Thank you. Choose our tea. Okay, traditional tea.

Royalty, like real tea. I mean, I would not normally get a white coconut cream, but I feel like I want to try that. Try it, and if you don't like it, we'll be happy to change it. I'm sure I'm going to love it. It's absolutely delicious. It has a nice sweet coconut aroma. Okay. The tea itself is unsweetened.

Sweden and it's a white tape blend. Wonderful. That's what I do. What are you going to do? I'm going to try the French lemon ginger. French lemon ginger. Is that good too? It's a really good tea. Okay, that sounds lovely. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Your partner is in the, is an actor as well? He's not an actor. He produces. He's actually a lawyer. He's obsessed with cults. So the leftovers for him was a real big deal. Oh, my.

Love the left of it. He started watching before I did. And he was like, you have to start watching the show. And so he rewatched the first five episodes with me. And I got very into that show. You know, that's one show I might watch? I think you should. Yeah, I think I might do that. I'd love to see that show. It's really well done. Damon Lindelof. No words. Yeah. Brilliant. Brilliant. Kind as can be. You've worked. with him, honey? No, I just am a fan. Oh, he, everything you hope he is. Yeah. Oh, I can't say enough about him.

No, it's such a beautifully cast show. It's a wonderful show. I mean, it's interesting because, you know, with the Handmaid's Tale and now the left over. Cheers, love. Cheers, by the way. But there's been an interesting, I wouldn't say overlap with these shows, but there is something about these women, between Patty and Lydia, or Aunt Lydia, rather, it's these women who have sort of let go of the way life used to be and have like very much put on blinders

like, okay, this is how things are now. And it's very interesting that these two women, obviously in very different dystopian type of worlds, have come across your path and like you've encountered these women. Exactly. I mean, have you done any sort of comparisons with these two roles and sort of looked at them?

They're not similar in any way, but there is an essence between the two of them that there's connective tissue. Well, just as you said, put on blinders so that their past lives, which had significance, must have had, and for many years, and to be able to be so hyper-focused

on one thing in this cult world, this dystopian world, you know, when I first, when I read leftovers. I didn't really get it. And I remember auditioned thinking, what is this now? She doesn't talk. Right. She writes. I had a bad attitude about it. I mean, I did my best in the audition because one does. What was your audition? I was one of the scenes or, you know, and I had to.

With the signs, yeah. Yeah, you know. She doesn't speak. Right. That was the thing that. And I think there were a few words spoken at some point, but that had to. I had to, you know, and I had to. really been planned yet. Right. What happens, you know. That's how he does things. He lets himself be, you know, I can't, I don't know how he does what he does, but anyway. And so after the audition, I was like, but then I started to think about it.

And my agent said that, I said to them in the beginning, what is the thing about it? And they have this dead pause like, don't tell me we have the dumbest client in the world who doesn't get what this offers. and they said, well, it does shoot in New York. I was like, oh, yeah, it does. Then the more I thought about it, I was on that set for one day, and I was in love with her. Yeah.

And him, Damon, and everyone around me, Chris Eccleson, everybody, Justin. Justin Thoreau. Oh, my dear friend as a result. Dear friend. The experience was just, oh. But it is one of those shows that I had never seen anything like it, And it is, I can imagine working within a show like that. You do have to sort of do a leap of faith.

Like someone's got this tone. Someone knows what we're doing. Someone's leaving the ship. But it is a leap of faith because it's, you know, you are working in a bubble for a bit of time. For people get their hands on it and sort of develop opinions about it. Right, right. And tell you if it's good or not, you know?

Yes. And we would have a lot of late nights. And normally you think, stab me. Yeah, yeah. But they worked with Amy Brennamen and the Tyler, loved her. Yeah.

And we had lovely nights together where we just chatted and shot the scenes and chatted some more. Well, and she was such a wonderful revolution. I mean, I know that she's acted, but she really anchored that. Yes, she did. Yeah, loved her.

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back and tells me about some of the jobs she worked before getting her big break in midlife, and we continue our conversation. on the cultural impact of the Handmaid's Tale. Okay, be right back. And we're back with more dinners on me.

Hello. Thank you so much. Look at the cute little coat it's wearing. I know, I'd like it very much. Well, not this one, but that's cute. But your tea pot's wearing your coat. Look at that. Never saw such a thing.

Look at yours. That is beautiful. Thank you. It's so cute. Oh, my gosh. This is so classy, Anne. It's so classy. Thank you. You know, we chose to have tea because we thought it was like a little bit.

It was on theme with the Testaments. Oh, yes. He poured it well. Yes. Yes. That's so funny. That scene with the tea business. I'm only on the third episode.

Oh, you are? Really? I'm very invested. You are? I'm so glad. Yeah. I came a little late to it, but I'm so happy. What made you decide to watch?

Well, I watched The Handmaid's Tale. and loved it very much and I was excited about this I guess you would call it a sequel although that feels wrong it feels like it's

No you're right though But it does sort of I mean there are obviously overlap of characters It is a sequel but like I am fascinated with where you're going to take that story next I mean when you end the Handmaids tale

It's very devastating and to know that the story can continue on and I was also intrigued by just even when I was reading press about the Testaments, just however one was talking about it tonally being different than the hammaids tale, which I thought, well, that's interesting because it is still very dystopian.

Yes. And the themes are still there. So I was fascinated as to how they were going to tackle these very heavy themes and yet tonally serve it differently. Yeah. It's exactly that. Very successfully done. It's supposed to be easier, uh, gentler on the site.

Well, you wouldn't know. You haven't seen it, but I agree with it. Oh, good. Also, well, there's a few things I want to start with first. But when you were working on Handmaid's Tale, tell me where we were politically. Was Trump in running to? He had just been elected.

When the show started or when you read the script where were we politically, do you remember? Not with Trump. Okay. Okay. That was a far away. Was he even saying that he was maybe going to run? He may have been, I don't know. Because there was always a chatter.

And he had run before. Oh, my God. So when you read the script and maybe even started initially shooting it, was he, he wasn't in office? Well, I remember when we were shooting early on, he was elected. And when he was running that night before he was elected, I remember thinking, this can't be. This is going in the wrong direction. Right. And I literally went to bed thinking, I can't watch another thing.

woke up, open the door, and the New York Times on the floor, announcing his win. And I remember texting, look at this. Look at this. This is really exquisite. Thank you. Now, what is this for?

Oh, this is for... Those three condiments are for the scones. Okay. Perfect. You each get your own tower. My gosh. And, my goodness. Wow.

This is beautiful. Is that gorgeous? I don't believe this, yes, it is. I will describe the food for you. Yes, please. On top you have the scones. They are traditional and currant with orange. They are served with strawberry preserve,

Devonshire cream, and lemon curd. We recommend you to enjoy them first. They're nice and hot right now. Okay. Pastries for this month are a Nietzsche raspberry rose cake, pistachial raspberry eclare, lavender lemon milk flea, Passion Fruit Truffle,

and a strawberry rhubart tartlet. My God, you are well-versed in what you're doing. Sandwiches are, Pesto chicken salad, curry egg salad on cinnamon raisin, house-smoke salmon with caviar and dew, portabella mushroom, and an English cucumber with lemon crem-fresh. Wow. That's beautiful. Thank you so much.

Can you imagine instructing himself on how to do all this and say all this? I know, I know. Having been a waiter, I don't think I would have passed the test. You were a waiter? Yeah, many times. Were you ever? I was not I was a I was a host at a restaurant in Albuquerque where I was raised I did retail in New York that's what I did and I worked in the Broadway theaters doing selling selling booze at the bars yeah

good for you where did you work what restaurants did you work oh my God so many um in Chicago or in Chicago and New York oh tons I can't even think of any of the names I closed them all down with a bad attitude. Yeah, I had a very large number of waiting jobs, for sure. And you weren't good at it? No, it's just, it wasn't bad at it. You get good at it because you don't have to. But it's the attitude of like, oh, hitting me.

Yeah. You can't have that attitude. I mean, you have to snap out of it. Yeah. Yeah, it took me a while. I mean, the survival jobs are hard, you know, when you want to be doing something else. Exactly.

Very hard. You have to keep yourself focused and in good enough spirits so you don't tank the day. Exactly. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And it took, when I was pregnant with my first child, I was literally working in a pet shop.

Really? On 14th stool. A pet shop. Can you imagine? Pregnant and having no money in savings or anything like that. My husband and I always lived job to job. Yeah. But not worrying about it.

Right. Not worrying about it. So when you started shooting, Trump was just coming into office. Oh, yeah, that's what I wanted to tell you. Right. So I texted Lizzie Moss. And I said, what are we going to do? It can't be.

And she wrote back, Don't let the bastards grind you down. What is it in Latin? Mm-hmm. That's what she wrote back. That's where we were. Oh, look at us now. I know, I know.

I know. It's wild that we're still in the same place, and sometimes it may be even a little bit worse. It's interesting because, I mean, I think everyone was sort of talking about this as Handma's Tale was happening on our screens, that we're like, oh my gosh, how is it reflecting so vividly what's happening in the world. What I was really struck by is how the image, you know, the show is beautifully costumed. And same with the Testament. I mean, like, the tailoring blown. I'm like, my God, these are chic outfits. And Crabtree.

Brilliant. Truly incredible. But the wardrobe of the handmade sale specifically really became an avatar for like what was happening in the world. And, you know, they were in resistant movements. Yes, protests. And that must have been so, I mean, listen, I, people dressed up as like my character for modern family for Halloween. And that was all, like, really fun and interesting. But, like, to have.

Yeah. Something you're doing on television, you know, as your job and, you know, creating this character, putting it on TV, being a part of this world, this story. And then having those images being part of something that is a symbol of resistance must have been very wild because you are telling a story that is running parallel to what we're going through. But at the same time, trying to offer hope, but also reflecting the really hard part too. To have it go from your living room to the streets.

Yes. It's an honor. I don't know how else to describe. It just felt like, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I mean, something else.

Let me tell you. Yeah. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we return, Anne tells a story of an intent premonition she had early in her career and how being in such an exciting role at age 70 has her looking at longevity. Okay, be right back. And we're back with more dinners on me. I do know that I've read that, you know,

when you were shooting Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood was in the process of writing The Testaments. Yes. I mean, she's such a brilliant writer. Oh, my God. It's got to feel, first of all, so validating that, you know, I know that your work, specifically was very inspiring to her and helped her write this next chapter of what has become,

I think, in a very important part of literature. I mean, first of all, the book won, the Testaments won the Booker Prize, which is a big deal. Goose bunsbunts, just thinking about it. I mean, to be, but you are, you are deeply threaded into that legacy of her story telling. How fortunate what does one feel? I recently moderated the conversation with her at the college that I used to go to. Where was that? Holy Cross College in Worcester, Massachusetts.

Okay. She was but brilliant. I think she's 86 years old. She is. I looked at all. There's no delay in memory, no forgetting of names or years or anything. She is funny and wildly smart and just lovely to be with. Yeah.

The fact that the Testaments came out of her head, after her 70s, there is something really special about also coming into these new chapters of your life with such gas behind you. You know, I'm very close with Margot Martindale, for example. Oh, I love her so much. She speaks so highly of you as well. How is she? She's great.

She's great. Oh, I'm so glad. But we talk a lot about, you know, how she found success later than she anticipated finding success. Right, right. And I know from just like listening to other interviews that you've done that, that's something you relate to. Yes, definitely. And, you know, it's like I think about Margaret Atwood, you know, creating a whole other chapter of a brilliant, already brilliant career at this place in your life where a lot of people like consider. Like, okay, you're wrapping things up and you're winding down.

And to have those sparks of genius, you know, still coming out of your head at such a ripe age is really inspiring. It's incredibly inspiring. You know what I find, I'll tell you honestly, which I haven't shared really that openly, what I find happens as time goes on is a little bit of anxiety. Can I do it? even though you've done it so, so much, the question is, can I do it? I have to, you know, and I say to myself, what are you going to do about this anxiety? Because it's a little unfortunate to live with that. You don't want to, I want to just embrace it.

What I want to move to is how enjoyable this would be, knowing I've done it for a very long time. I love the character. There's more that I want to know about her, want to learn about her. I mean, and with our writers, you know, it's only, you know, it's only, you know, it's only, you know, good, only good things. Yeah. And that's how I want to embrace it. How do you manage anxiety like that?

I mean, when you also self-to-say about anxiety, are you talking about wanting to do a good job? Are you talking about, like, what's happening next? Or is it a combination of both? I wanted to do a good job. Yeah. Essentially. Whereas before, having sort of, I don't know if confidence is the word, having done it for a while, knowing the character for seven years I've known.

Right, right. It's just a little something. that's presenting. It's interesting. I say to myself, how are you going to deal with this? How are you going to put this aside? Which I'm going to do. I'm working on it, so to speak. But I was just interested about that. I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have predicted that. I want to, I want to elaborate on that a little bit because I relate to that. Oh, do you? Because even with Monter Family being on for 11 years, there was probably a point around year seven, ding, ding, ding, ding, that, like, I was thinking, okay, what, what can I do

to keep this interesting. Yes. And because I have, you know, I mean, I was afforded a great character. They obviously gave me a lot of interesting things to do. But there is that fear of repeating. Oh, interesting. Interesting. And, you know.

But then again, trusting the writers that they are going to find things for me to do. But it was around that seven-year mark that I thought, well, what can I do to keep this fresh? Right. So it's interesting that you said that after working on this character, the von lydia for seven years right and then coming back into it i was i was assuming probably wrongfully so that when you know you were given this opportunity to continue that character and the testaments that it would be like oh this is this is old hat but it's interesting that you say that there is maybe a little bit of anxiety about continuing to do a good job yes yes yes um i find that really

interesting yeah it's not my first choice of how to feel about something no of course not you know what i mean but I think to myself, it must be for a reason. Let's look at this for a minute. Let's sit with this and see where it's going. Also, can I just ask a follow question about that? Yeah, yeah, please. You know, when you develop a character alongside other characters, they do become sort of part of the DNA of that character.

Yes, you're right. You beat off of them. So, you know, you've plucked to this character out. I know there's been a little bit of overlap like Elizabeth Moss has come in. No, we haven't connected. And I'm sure there's way more to come. You haven't connected.

But, you know, you are now working with a whole new group of young, beautiful actresses. Yes. And, like, I wonder if that contributes to some of that, like, having to, you know, be secure with what you know about the character. Right, right. But in, with the context of her interacting with a whole new group of people. Yeah, you're so right. Oh, yeah.

Well, first of all, Lydia, what happens at the end of Handmaids? She's literally on her knees begging for forgiveness. She has come down to the ground solidly, not protesting, not saying, but I didn't do that, just accepting, this is who I am. But then she has several years to live with that part of herself and make a decision, how am I going to come in to this world of the Testaments? How was Lydia going to come into this world? Of course, the writing will tell you, but also realizing she's a gentler person. She's not leading with angst,

and she's dealing with a whole set of different set of young girls and young, really young. And they are, they're wonderful, as you said, wonderful actors, wonderful people. And they come ready to go and prepared. and know how to listen well to what's going on in the scene. They've got everything you can imagine, and they are thick as thieves. I bet, yeah.

The group of them. And when I stand aside on the sidelines, you're sort of watching. It makes me grin every time because they're happy and chatting and giggling and, you know, telling this, that, and the other. It's a whole, whole new world. Yeah. And it's a new character, too. She has changed.

So there's a way to focus. I don't know her. I'm coming to know her in this life. What are the differences? Where's her focus? How much does she really believe? Like what you were saying, Aunt Lydia and Patty, what's at the core, whether it's hidden, hidden, hidden, buried deep, it lives somewhere. Well, I do want to ask about this, because you did, you were, first of all, the testaments, I will say, I'm sure Margaret Atwood would agree with me. You were a bit of an inspiration for her, writing that. That's a given. That's very kind of a new. Then you got to read the book. You got to do the audio book.

So you are really immersed in this story. Yes, yes. And you got to know the story before playing her in the book. Did you feel like that knowledge of just the breadth of the book, knowing it so intimately, was a hindrance or did it help you with? That's a good question because. You know, we're using the book, obviously. But the hope, of course, is that you have a series that's going to last five years, let us say, pick a number. So you want to tell the story of the book over five years.

So what happens when I read Testaments, and I know the changes that are going to occur large and small, but what I'm going to focus on is what's written in our text, not on what's written in the book. Do you know what I mean? Because it doesn't go that best. We're telling other stories. So just realizing, let's let the endings go from the book, let certain things go, and when you get to it is when you get to it. Right.

Right now, stay with what's written. Right. Is, I think, the way to move forward. Can I ask you about your early career? Sure. I know compliance for you, but with one compliance was a big turning point. Yes, it was. An incredible film role.

Oh, it was. Lucky me. Really, I mean, it's a great film. Oh, God. Before that, though, I mean, was, what was your, I know you were, you worked a lot. But it was not necessarily the work that people would know you for, or like, you know, that you were being, you certainly weren't a household name. Right. Correct. What was it like being, you know, struggling?

I don't even like, would. Would you say struggling? Sure. But, you know, the early parts of your career, being a mother, you know, living in New York, which is not cheap. No. And, you know, just obviously you talked a little bit about this and these jobs that you took to make ends meet. But what kept you going when you felt like you were not getting an opportunity that you feel like you should have gotten? My love for acting. My deep and profound love for acting.

I say profound only from my point of view about my life and what you. it meant to me. And there was never a doubt. Yeah. Well, first of all, each job is a gift, in my opinion, and that was my point of view. For every job I got, I treasured. I loved having it. And I was very

fortunate, very different roles here and there, but, you know, continuous. Yeah. But I remember one day, one night, heading out to go to work in the restaurant. I'm wearing a men's

jacket, dressed like a man. Yes. Tie, white shirt, black jacket, black pants, walking and looking across the street, and there is a premiere going on for About Last Night, starring Elizabeth Perkins. There's her name. I almost, I mean, I knew her, and she was a wonderful actress.

We weren't close friends, but we were friends. I remember just finding my way to work being utterly, utterly miserable. Yeah. Got home that night, and I literally sat on the porch, and I was yelling out loud, when is something going to happen? When is this going to change? And that deep voice, which I swear to, very calming, you will be all right, you will be 56. And I remember thinking, did I hear 56? How old were you at this point?

In my 30s. I said, I'm not waiting until I'm 56. That's not happening. Just really ungrateful for the whole, I was 56. with compliance. Really? Yeah, 56 years old. Well, tell me about those like 15, 20 years.

Like, what, I mean, how did you? Again, loving the roles. Yeah. Loving them, all different and keeping that love story alive. And I, that sounds romantic, but I mean it that way. Yeah. That's not very interesting. I'm sorry, but that's true.

No, I think that's, that's, I mean, I... I'm a little older than you are, darling. I'm 70. I might as well just say it right out loud. What am I hiding? It's not like it's not. written somewhere. But that's amazingly old to me. Is it? Does it feel old?

It doesn't feel old, but the number. I mean, January. And I just, it's like, what? When did this happen? I mean, that's how I feel at 50. I mean, you know, how am I already here? Yeah. I mean, I understand that. I think, I mean, how has your relationship been with aging? The one thing that's not great, and I associate it with aging, is my back.

Okay. For some reason, scoliosis presents itself now, where I must have had it all my life, but suddenly it's part of my day, part of my every day, figuring out how bad is it today? Am I wearing the brace? Am I not? How am I going to stay positive about this? Because my husband recently, my husband's name is Larry Aranthia. You know this, because you clearly have done all your homework.

I appreciate it, by the way. I like to come and prepare. You do, and it's a lovely conversation to have. Thank you. Thank you. My husband recently got MS. Oh, wow. He's in his 70s, early 70s.

The one good thing about getting it late in life is that it doesn't tend to get worse. It stays more steady. But that had to do with aging, and he had to accept that. Right. And his left, his right leg doesn't really work. So he uses a walker to go from walking miles a day and getting his 10,000 steps to needing a walker to get a much fewer steps. I mean, that's an adjustment. That's about aging.

That's a huge adjustment, yeah. And you have to decide, I think, I'm going to either accept this and do the best I can. If I go to that place of complaining for me, I mean, I don't even need to say it. That's not a good existence. What does that offer you're like? Nothing. Nothing. And I remember turning 50 because I remember thinking,

oh my God, that's the end of childhood. And what I mean by that is somehow turning 50, I realized I'm not going to live 50 more years. That's probably not going to happen. I'm not going to live until 100. Those days are gone. Like when you were 40, I'll get to 80.

Don't you worry, I'll do it. somehow with 50, no. Interesting. No. And right now it makes me feel very peaceful thinking about that, just accepting that. And those things you hear, you know, valuing every day, getting to work, continue to work, I'm 70, and I have this wonderful role to work on, how people would kill for that? How fortunate, you know? Oh, just to focus on, so important, focus on the positive, on the gifts and on being, and on being, you know.

You have your help, which is wonderful. God, can you imagine? Yeah. Yeah. I got to work with Linda Lavin on her very last day on set. Oh, no kidding. I did. I was doing a guest spot on Mid-Centry Modern, which was a sitcom.

She was shooting for Hulu. They were breaking for Christmas break. I was the last episode that they shot. Oh, my God. I shot the very last scene with her. We both had our last scene together. everyone dispersed and she passed away

over the Christmas break Are you kidding? Yeah, I mean it was just Really And I had gotten to know her A little bit through mutual friends Over the past few years before that Didn't know her well

But that week that I had with her on set It was really special And I was like oh I get to Actually get to know her a little bit better Yes, yes I mean it was very sudden Oh my God She was in great shape

I remember Sarah Paulson had just turned 50 a few weeks before and maybe it's even a few days before and uh linda was at the party you know just having a great time there later than anyone else and showing up for work the next day fresh as the daisy even though she'd been out late having drinks and i was like you know i was like putting myself to bed at 9 p.m because i was like i can't do it all and she was doing it and it just made me think so much about like you know what you were just saying like really treasuring each moment as it's given to us and living day to today and just being so grateful that you get this day. And it is helpful for me not to look too far into the future.

Yeah, definitely. I agree with you. Then I'd start worrying about what is the next job? What is tomorrow hold? Like, what am I going to do with my kids? Like, how am I going to deal with the next phase of that? If you just live in this moment and you're dealing with what the day has given you, it's, first of all, I'm going to go to bed tonight in some much of a more peaceful state than I would if I was worrying about.

worrying about what's happening the next day. Yeah. Oh, Anne, thank you for doing this. Thank you, sweetheart. I appreciate it. Thanks for letting me feed you. Oh, thank you. Tea is on me. It isn't that lovely.

Look at it. This episode of Dinners on Me was recorded at the peninsula in Beverly Hills. Next week on Dinner's On Me, you know him from Netflix's queer eye and next in fashion. It's Tan France. We'll get into what it was like to become a queer public figure overnight, how he handles being married to a type B personality and his secret to his beautiful youthful glow. Spoiler alert, it involves yogurt. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinner's On Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new

episodes one week early, they'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click try free at the top of the Dinners On Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinner's On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Bear engineered this episode.

Hans Dale She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balanced Kalasney and Justin McKita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week. Thank you.