Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - ASHLEY PARK — finding love on 'Emily in Paris' and a bestie in Lily Collins

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

"Emily in Paris" star Ashley Park joins the show. Over oysters and nicoise salad, Ashley tells me about her early days on Broadway, her showmance turned serious relationship with costar Paul Forman, and she reveals a special moment with Meryl Streep from working together on “Only Murders in the Building.” This episode was recorded at Palihouse Lobby Lounge & Bar West Hollywood in Los Angeles, CA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hi, it's Jesse. Today on the show you know her from Emily in Paris, Beef and Joyride. It's Ashley Park. I don't think a day on set went by without me and Lily saying, Lily, could you imagine if you were a bitch? Like, could you imagine my life if like you weren't so- If we hated each other, yeah. This is Dinner is on Me,

and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Ashley Park. Ashley Park and I have a very, um, complex relationship. And by complex, I mean we treat each other like siblings who are almost always on the brink of screaming, "'Mom!' I don't know, I kind of feel like a younger sibling in our relationship, which is weird

because Ashley is 15 years younger than me. Anyway, we met shortly after she graduated from the University of Michigan's musical theater program and moved to New York City, but we really became close when we were cast in a play together years later, where I got to know her very well. Now, here are a few things I know about Ashley Park that you may not know. One, she is an incredibly loyal, hilarious, and thoughtful friend who is impossible not to fall in love with. Two, she has a serious Sour Patch Kid addiction. Yeah, she even smuggled a bag

into the most recent Tony Award ceremony and munched on them from the front row while sitting next to Angelina Jolie. I'm not kidding. Three, she loves pulling pranks on people, specifically scaring the shit out of people, which she always captures on video. Four, she is also incredibly easy to pull pranks on,

which I also have on video. And five, she is rarely, if ever, on time. And this podcast was no exception. But you know what? The joke's on me because I know this about her already, so it's not fair for me to be mad at her. It is fair for me to send her a FaceTime about it though,

which I did, sitting next to her empty chair as I waited. I literally thought it was at 4.30. Like, who has dinner at 4? I'm sorry. I can't wait to see you. I'm sorry. I decided I should also call her to find out exactly how far away she was. Am I talking about you being late to everything? I'm not. Oh yes, this is here sir. Yes. It's the Polly House. Is the restaurant in the hotel? Yeah, come on in.

Okay, well I'm just, hold on. Let me wait for the, thank you. Thank you, have a good day. Have a nice weekend. Jesse. Are you serious? Are you serious? Thank you, have a good day! Have a nice weekend! Jessie? Are you serious? How are you?

I brought Ashley to the Pally House, West Hollywood, to dine at its charming lobby lounge, cafe and bar, which has a very quirky European vibe with these giant ceramic Great Danes in the lobby, floral wallpaper and checkered tile. It's giving chic French auntie who has a home just a short jaunt from Paris. It's on 3rd Street in Los Angeles, a well-traveled thoroughfare which also boasts the iconic farmers market and is a stone's throw away from Beverly Center. When I think of Ashley now, I think of her running around Europe, shopping bags in tow,

probably late for something. So I thought this would be the perfect spot for her to stop and rest, catch her breath and have a little nosh. Let's get to the conversation. I was laughing so hard because remember when we were doing the play at Williamstown? I'm going to remind you. Wait, are we going to be nice? Wait, let's-

Yes, of course we're going to be nice. No, because I've heard your, I've listened to your podcast and you're like very like, oh my gosh, I think this about you and like so great. Like, are you gonna do that for me? I'm gonna praise you. I'm gonna shower you with praise. But I did tell everyone, I was like, we have a very like older brother, younger sister relationship

with you being the older brother and me being the younger sister. Wait, I was just trying to think about, I was like, what is our really, like, what is it? It's like, it's not cousins, like, tumultuous, like, torturous cousins. We're siblings. Yeah, it is siblings. But you are the younger sister and I'm the older brother.

I'm the younger sister for sure. But I'm the older brother with no power. Okay, what were you going to say? No, but I was going to say, remember when we were- William Sound? Hello, hello, William's Town, which is a theater festival in the Berkshires that is very prestigious. First of all, two things.

We were in the play together and we did a talk back with a whole bunch of students afterward, but you were like 15 minutes late for this talk back. Do you remember? No, no. Yes, Mommy. Everybody was 15 minutes early. I was exactly on time.

Okay, but I sent a video to you of all these kids, these bright-eyed kids who are there to learn, and they were like, where are you, Ashley? They can learn a lot more from you. I was like, I didn't know anything at that point. That's true. What they learned from me was maybe don't be late, or else you'll get like a.

No, but the other funny thing I do wanna mention about the Williamstown experience was when our show was done, we carpooled back to the city. We had a car full of people and I was like, okay, we're just waiting on Ash. I'm like, let me go up and see what she's doing. You had just started packing and like, you got to the point where you got.

I'm a really good packer now though. Like I'm like, Tetris is like my thing. Cause you've been traveling nonstop. Oh, you got to the point where you got. I'm a really good packer now though. Like I'm like Tetris is like my thing. Cause you've been traveling nonstop. Oh, you got a menu. No, we're here. Menu for everybody. Thank you. Of course.

This is gonna be the food one. This will be the drink. Wait, I'm not late. He's early cause it's like his podcast. So he feels like, oh, he needs to set up. No, you're early Ashley. We're not started. This doesn't actually, he's been starved for another hour.

Want something to drink? I'm gonna do, I'll do the best day brewing the NA. It's just, it's a non-alcoholic beer. By the way, we're supposed to give the illusion that this is dinner. Dinner's on me. And you totally blew my cover by saying it's 4pm. No, it's dinner with friends, no?

No, that's my cookbook. Oh, no! Well, it's no. Yes, it is. And it's food between friends is the. No. Yes it is. And it's food between friends is the cookbook and this is Dinners on Me, the podcast. No, it's dinner with friends, no?

We can call it dinner with friends today. Wait, really? It's not dinners with friends? Have you been telling everyone that's what you're doing? Yeah, I really have. Oh my God. We'll make sure you get all those assets and the proper hashtags.

Ha ha ha ha. Oops. Oopsie doopsies. I really thought your kids and Justin would be here and it would just be them. Justin definitely was gonna come. He was really excited to see you. I don't believe you.

No, he really was. You didn't ask him. No, I don't, in the slightest. It should be said just, obviously you already know this, but for the people listening, Ashley was one of the first people to see. I forgot we had a podcast.

Yeah, yeah, I know, right? I know many people do. Ashley was the first person, one of the first people to see Becca when he was born. We FaceTimed her from, because we were in the middle of the pandemic and everyone was just like bored. And like whenever you FaceTime someone during the pandemic,

they answered immediately. So we're FaceTiming with Ashley and you had the foresight to like screen capture. No, because it was my first time seeing Becca and I couldn't believe, I was like, oh my God, Beckett's born, I know. And this is gonna be a FaceTime where I must be reported. Just for me.

We have live, well, we'll have to, I'm gonna post it on my Instagram. We have live footage of Beckett looking at Ashley and then vomiting immediately. It was the first time Beckett ever vomited. He laid eyes on me and I was like, hi. And my friend John Lewis was like, we're like, hey. And then Beckett ever vomited, he laid eyes on me and I was like, hi. And my friend John Lewis and we were like, hey. And then Beckett vomits all over himself.

And so we have it all on camera. You're just laughing so hard. Oh my God. It was just spit up. See, that's what I knew we had to record it. Yeah, yeah, it was so good. Okay, but going back to Williamstown, because this wasn't actually a really pivotal time for you.

I love you trying to keep this on track. It's gonna be so hard. I've only done this so I can catch up with you, but like back to Williamstown because this was it actually really pivotal time for you. I love you trying to keep this on track. It's gonna be so hard. I only done this so I could catch up with you, but like that's fine. We'll catch up. We'll catch up through the interview. Just so the listeners know, me and Jessie got really close with that, what was it? It was called Grand Horizons. Right, yes. Grand Horizons. I can't, I think I'm really, I really can't remember words now, but Grand Horizons, we did that at Emileanstown,

and I was at like a really tumultuous point in my life. It was, and I actually, I got the call about Emilean Pears while I was there. That's what I was gonna say is while you were there, you were kind of actively having discussions about Emilean Pears, and maybe even starting audition process or? I was auditioning, call backing, is that a verb?

Call backing, yeah, call backing, is that a verb? Call backing, yeah, you're call backing. And we were doing, and I'd never, remember when I remember, cause I'd never done a play before, like a straight play. And I told, I knew Jesse from like before, like through mutual friends, but not closely. And I was like, do they know I've never done a play?

And he goes, don't let them know now. But like, it was very fun. But yeah, I think that like we got very close and you've been there for me in so many like really big parts of my life, like in times when I really needed it and ways that people didn't know. You went through a lot of transitions that summer

and obviously about to have a big break as well with Emily in Paris. Or Amel Emily en Paris? Who knew? Who knew? I mean, that time with you in Williamstown was such a special summer because I feel like it was kind of, I look back on those photos

and was like, wow, I mean, that's like the last summer I had when I was like, first of all, without kids, just celebrate. Was it before Beckett? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, it was. I was your child. Yeah, basically.

But it was a very special summer and I loved working on that play with you, but I loved also seeing what happened to you right after that. And it was just like, first of all, Justin and I kept joking because we felt like everything shut down during the pandemic.

And for some reason, you got so many opportunities to like, where you not even had the opportunity to travel, but you literally had to travel for work. Like, I don't know how you ended up getting all these jobs during the pandemic, but it was like, you were constantly, you were in Paris, you were in Ireland, you were traveling. Is that wild?

Well, I, cause when I went to Paris for that show, that was the first time I'd ever been to, I'd always wanted to study abroad, but I'd never been to Europe or another country for a long period of time. I don't think we've ever talked about, but because that experience being close with you in Williams town, I remember people coming up to you like in this random small town, I've always been like, Oh, I love you, like in this random small town, every once in a while being like, oh I love you modern family,

oh my god can we get a picture, you being very kind, very that, and that felt like such a world that was not anything that I would ever experience. I don't know, I really loved seeing that, and I don't think that you or me or any of us like kind of had a scope for what. No.

It was a big example for me, you should know. We never talked about that. We haven't talked about it, but when that started happening to you, because with shows that are on Netflix, you drop a whole season. So it's like literally, in the span of 24 hours, people have seen the entire first season

of this thing you've created. Well, what's so funny is when you're saying, oh, you happen to be having to go to this place and this place you've created. Well, what's so funny is like when you're saying like, oh, you happen to be like having to go to this place and this place for work and all this, like I don't think I ever really had a sort of scope for, oh, now this is a new chapter of my life, or oh, now I get to go here for this work. Like for me, it's always very similar to you.

It's always been like, okay, what's today's work? Oh, do I have to, okay, I'm gonna get on this flight and I'm gonna do here, I'm gonna be, quarantine or not, I'm gonna do my best, you know? So it's, I think that's like the theater in us where it's just like, okay, how do we get through this day and do our best this day? And then when I check in with you every six months

and you're like, oh, you've been here, here, here. I'm like, oh, I guess so. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it doesn't feel like you've been given, here, here. Oh, I guess so. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it doesn't feel like you've been given a holiday necessarily, but you just happen to be working in these beautiful places. Oh, I gotta get next to my leg.

Oh, he's shifting awkwardly because he doesn't know what he wants to say next. Oh, God, let me look at my research. Oh no, it's gone. Wait, that's your menu. Yes, I do want some bites, please. I would love. Is he gonna get the Nikkoiz salad?

No, niswa, bonjour niswa, nikoiz. It's okay, it happens a lot. I'm gonna do the chicken pot pie. Good choice, it's new to the menu. It's really good. Really? Wait, in a good way or bad way? In a good way, in a good way.

In a bad way, in a bad, bad way. In a good way, I promise. I want the niswa salad, and she's gonna do the chicken pot pie. So what's oysters mignonette? Do you want that? I don't, what is it? They're oysters, just a bunch for more.

Let's do it, because it's like, we're fucking classy bitches. We'll do some shucked oysters. Okay, we'll start with the oysters, and the chicken pot pie, and the nisquat salad. Yeah, that sounds great. Wait, can I tell you my way? I don't think I've told you that.

How me? What? Oysters in France. There's one time I went to this, like, what was the, it was a really fancy place and I was really fancy people and they brought out like this whole thing of oysters and like, you know how they have, sometimes they have lemon water

that you can like dip your hands in. Yeah, dip your fingers, yeah. I thought it was lemon to pour on for all the oysters. So I was like, oh my God, I'm going to be such a G. And I like took the lemon and I poured it all over the oysters and everybody was like, oh, like, isn't that awful? It's pretty bad. And I, but I never had fancy oysters where I had like water

to clean my hand with. I love that you didn't know what it was and you weren't sure but you just still went for it. Don't sometimes oysters come with lemons. With a bunch of lemon. Yes, so that's why I thought it was like, oh my God, it's fancy lemon water and we're gonna pour it all over. It wasn't great.

Eric, when we were shooting the Modern Family episode in Paris, Eric had ordered a lunch in Paris with me and there was this cheese that he loved so much and he's like, oh my God, this cheese is so great. He was just eating it by the blocks of it. He's like, can I have some more of this? And they bring him more and he would just chow. He was just eating it by like the blocks of it. He's like, can I have some more of this? And they bring him more and like,

he would just chow, he was chowing down on this cheese. And he's like, I gotta find the name of this. Like what, and he's like, can you bring me one that's still in the package? Like, I'm looking at it, I wanna take a photo of this. Cheese, and like, I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get this in the states. It was butter.

Stop! It was butter. The butter was so good there, he thought it was cheese. And he ate like four blocks of it before he realized that it was... Was it like salted? They do have good butter there. Yeah, incredible butter. Wait, that's a great story.

Have you told it publicly? No, I think that's the first time I've told it. Oh yeah, your show's over, so it's like... Jesus Christ. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Ashley tells me about an amazing subway run-in on the way to her Emily in Paris audition and about her relationship with her co-star Lily Collins. Okay, be right back. This summer I took a little break that me and Justin had in our schedule to do

a little two-week summer vacation. We grabbed Beckett and Sully and we introduced them to some of our favorite spots, Provincetown in Massachusetts, and we also jumped across the pond to London. While we were away, I had this thought, what if we hosted our home on Airbnb? We all have times when we're away from home, whether we're visiting family or traveling for work,

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Indeed.com slash dinnersonme. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You. Indeed.com slash dinners on me. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. How about this for a transition, trying to get us back on track. You graduated from Michigan.

The University of Michigan. Which happens to have an incredible, incredible musical theater program. I'm a little bit older than you, and I remember every year, a little bit, a lot of it, I remember every year when the Michigan kids would like come into New York, be like, oh, fuck, here they come to take our jobs, because they were all so aggressively talented.

Like some of my best friends, like Sylvia Kinnabolger went to Michigan, Gavin Creel. Yes, we love them. You guys, I mean, it was just, it was a very talented theater program. What's your point? My point is I want to talk about your early years as a musical theater actress.

When did you fall in love with musical theater? Oh, I, because I didn't know what musical theater was. I think in sixth grade, we had a community theater called Young People's Theater. And I followed some friends there. And I think the first musical I ever did was called Alice in Concert. And that was-

And Alice in Wonderland? And I think it was like Alice in Wonderland kind of thing. Yes. I danced technically from like a very small age. I never had any singing lessons or I played piano. I did all the technique stuff. You started dancing when you were three, right? Yes.

Like really young. Yeah. So I was like, that's when I was like, oh, I'm allowed to put it all together and do this. And then I had a great public high school program at Pioneer High School and the producer there, Susan Hurwitz, kind of like was the mother of that public high school's like theater program and she would bring in the current students at University of Michigan to come be our directors.

So that's how I kind of really got introduced to like what musicals were. Oh, the oysters Gorgeous don't dump anything on here. See do you see the lemon wedge? Well, that's a lemon wedge Yeah, you put the lemon wedge on. I know but when you get it in like a fuck like oh, sorry Am I allowed to swear on this? Yeah, well can now Never knows you have a potty mouth Oh, open your eyes in your mouth. Oh, off your knife.

It's got body to it. It's briny. She's briny, Hanny. Wait, do you know about the make-a-wish stuff? Yeah, I wanna talk about that. Yeah. So this is something that I know you and my husband, Justin, have a lot in common,

is that you both battled cancer in high school. Oh yeah, that was when we were like, oh. Yeah, you were about the same age, because you were 15, and it was leukemia. Yeah. Right, and so you spent eight months in the hospital, but first of all, eight months when you're in high school is a lifetime.

That's an eternity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, in isolation too. I think that you and me and Justin always really got along, and then I love that me and Justin really don't lead with that. And when that kind of came up, we were like, oh, that's why I really, I really get the heart and soul of like, who you guys are. You know, I really feel seen. So even if I'm a complete mess in this situation, like you guys like really see what I've been through and I don't have to explain it anyways.

But that was my sophomore year of high school. When I went back for junior year of high school, I had been told I should stay back to grade, I shouldn't go back to school for a year. And I was like, no thank you, I'd rather just go. And so I'm realizing now, so many years later, that those hours where I was spent playing a character, or singing and dancing on stage

were the only times that nobody was allowed to be worried about me. And that it was a real burden lifted off of me. And I think that I also, I've been thinking about the concept of what being a star is. When people are like, oh, you're a movie star now, or this kind of star, and that kind of thing.

When you think about a star, it's like burning very far away by itself, and that's like so not why I got into what we do. It's like I was so eager to be around so many people, and like a part of something with other people, because I had been fighting for my life just by myself for so long, so like, that's why I got into the story, the kind of storytelling that we did, you know?

So when Make-A-Wish approached and was like, can we grant you a wish? And I was like, I guess I would wanna go to New York for the first time and watch a show. They really granted that. And that was the first time I, cause I think for both of us or for a lot of people, when you tangibly see something,

then you're like, oh, that's something that I can do. So really seeing people who are working on stage and performing a show and they do that eight times a week, I was like, oh, I had no idea that this was not church choir. I can do this. So that's, I guess, how I kind of fell into that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know something you talked about a lot, and I really appreciate you talking about it so much. You talk about it even more recently, it's like representation in theater

and being able to play lots of different types of roles, whether it be like, you know, Thoroughly Modern Millie or Cinderella or, you know, one of the plastics of Mean Girls. But I was looking at your resume of your early stuff, and I saw that you did three productions of Miss Saigon. One of your first big shows in New York was The King and I. These are obviously shows that are beautifully constructed pieces of theater, but there was a point at the beginning of your career where it was sort of like you were doing

the Asian shows. I think what I had in my head, and whether it's a testament to anybody who's around me or not, before was really understanding, okay, I'm gonna do this because I love it, and what are my limitations, and I'm gonna be realistic about this.

And so, for example, when we, at University of Michigan, when we showcase in New York, you know, and perform in front of all these agents or casting directors or whatever, you fill out a form of paper that's like, what is your dream, like what can you see yourself as, what's your dream job? And I wrote, like very genuinely, The Ensemble in Wicked or Cinderella. Like that's really, I was like, if I could be the best person in the court, I never expected to ever speak a line on stage, ever, ever. And I had like

really come to terms with that because I was just like so happy to be a part of it. So I think that that, like starting from that place and I think that something that I've like kind of figured out whether it be recently or not is that what was kind of being introduced at the time that I came into the industry in a professional way was colorblind casting, which is like my, you know, my Broadway debut was in Mamma Mia after seven years of running as an understudy in the ensemble.

And like, we're not seeing color. You know, you're just like all part of this group of kids who's on the Greek island. And I realized that, we've talked a lot about color conscious casting in this day where it's like, I really, it was really embedded into me if people could not see what I looked like

and they just saw the qualities in me, then I was completely succeeding as an actor. And I realized now it really is, they need to see fully who I am and also understand that all the qualities about me are part of that. And so not to deny that. And I think that that was a big journey

from when I first graduated to now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi. Here's your red A. Yes. Thank you. That's a pretty Neswasse. It's not beautiful.

Oh, it's like kind of soft boiled. Beautiful. Anything else at the moment? I think I'm good, are you good Ash? I might take another Diet Coke. Yeah, you got it, sounds good. Wait, should I have like a glass of Cava? Yeah.

This is what I was gonna say. Is it's so nice when those things, in those transitions for me, it was something that I did not expect to happen and it just sort of fell into my lap and it was a lovely thing that happened. Wait, did you audition for it? I did audition for it, but like with Emily and Paris, I-

But did you feel it in your gut? Like were you like, oh, this is special? Yeah, I knew it was special. And like this role is mine? I didn't think it was mine, but I knew it was special and I really wanted it. I kind of, you know, my final callbacks, I was very really wanted it. I kind of, you know my final callbacks, it was very casual and I kind of just like,

I was sort of, it's like, well it'll be a good experience for me to just go in and do my best. And try. And try my best. And I remember even reading the Sunday Times in the waiting room and Ty Burrell was testing for the network the same day I was and he was pacing back and forth,

stressed out so much about this final callback and I was just looking at the Sunday Arts and Leisure section and he was pacing back and forth, like stressed out so much about this final callback and I was just like looking at the Sunday Arts and Leisure section and he's like, how are you so calm? And I was like, I think genuinely I just felt like it's not gonna happen. It's a move point. It's a move point. And like you're obviously right for the part,

like you're probably gonna get it Mr. Burrell, but like it's not gonna happen for me. And then I ended up getting it and Ty like had to test like four more times. But it was like, happen for me. And then I ended up getting it, and Ty had to test four more times. But it was a very, it all felt very natural, and it felt like I was just in the right place at the right time and the right role. Do you know the story during my callback,

like what happened on the subway? About the picture. Yes. Yeah, tell that. It's incredible. I was on the subway and I like hate, I don't know if you feel this way, like when I would like look at sides on the subway, I feel like so happy.

So ashamed. Like so ashamed, I'd be like, oh my god, I'm an actor and like you're looking at my, whatever, so I would never do that and I would always prepare at home, but that time I was in between a bunch of stuff and I was really frazzled and I was like, I have to look over these lines I don't know them

And I think it's because that cavalier thing of like there's no way I'm gonna get this but let me try and I was dressed in a certain way and then I felt a tap on my shoulder and This girl with all these like bags shopping bags their Doc Martin bags was like I'm so sorry she saw like the Characters named Mindy on the top of the paper and she was like, is this family in Paris? I'm so sorry to be looking, but I'm on the way to a fitting with Lily Collins right now. These are all Doc Martens for her.

And I was like, oh my gosh. So instead of looking at my lines, I just chatted with her the whole way. But you know, it's like a New York moment where by the time I got off the subway, I probably couldn't have picked out, I didn't know her name, I didn't know anything. I went in, but I had this whole like,

oh, what a cool thing that just happened. And so I think that levity of like, wow, the universe helped me in that. And then months later when I got the show and my first, my screen test, like when I was in Paris and we were doing costumes and stuff, Patricia Field's costume assistant came up to me, Erica, and she was like, I'm so sorry,

because neither of us wanted to be the person who was like, were you this person in the Inappia? And she was like, we met on the train, right? And I was like, oh my gosh, yes. And she was like, the reason I even stopped you is because I took a photo of you and sent it to Patricia as inspiration for your character's costuming. That's wild. And she has the photo, and we have it all. And you can see, I'm so anxious looking at the sides, of you and send it to Patricia as inspiration for your character's costuming.

That's wild. And she has the photo, and we have it all. And you can see I'm so anxious looking at the sides, but that's how she zoomed in and saw that it was that. So that kind of stuff is so crazy to me. But I don't even know how we got on that. It's an incredible story. And what's so funny is around that time of auditioning

for Emily in Paris, I remember having been told so much, OK, if you're going to audition for TV and film, I remember having been told so much, okay, if you're gonna audition for TV and film, be really minimal, don't move. Like, you cannot be yourself, you cannot be musical theater. And I remember one of my agents, Shawna, she called me and she goes, what's up?

Because you are so warm and animated and vibrant in real life. But I don't know what's going on. And I was like, oh, I thought I was supposed to just like contain myself. She was like, and I kid you not, that was like the call before my Emily in Paris take. And I was like, oh, am I allowed to just like be myself

and like figure this out for myself? And she's like, yes, like use your face and your hands. And I was like, oh, I got it. And like, did that answer a question? No it doesn't, but also like I love that you said that because I'm always challenging myself to be bigger on screen. What has it been like though, you know,

not only having such a huge opportunity with Emily in Paris, but you have to like uproot your life and do it in another, I mean that was the thing about it, I came across the country for. Wait, haven't, what a horrible host. You eat when you wanna eat. Dinner's on me, but don't take a bite after.

Just so everyone knows, I haven't taken a single bite. Thank you, you were great. I do wanna try that, I was waiting for you to cut into it. Wait, take it. But no, what I was gonna say is to have such a huge moment of your career happen in a completely different place and then have it be such a success, really internationally. Can they hear it?

Yeah, so flaky. So flaky. We didn't understand that it would be what it was. I was put in this hotel, it was my first night in Paris ever, and I was like in this hotel, it was my first night in Paris ever, and I was like, so, cause I was out of the relationship that you like helped me out of,

and I was like so terrified, I had no idea what was going on. And I was so lonely and so scared. Yeah, you were suffering a lot of heartbreak. Cause I was just like alone in a country, I'd never been that far away from home, and I was like, okay great. You can't just like hang out with your friends

and have a coffee cause you don't have friends there. No, but I was also like and I was like, okay, great. You can't just hang out with your friends and have a coffee because you don't have friends there. No, but I was also like, I remember, I also didn't feel like I could talk to my friends about this thing happening, you know? Or I didn't actually even know what it was. I remember after my first couple days of filming, when the press releases come out later after you started, the only person who called me, Laura Linnickle called me

and she was like, I am so happy for you and I want you to feel like you were supported and I I'm so happy that you are doing this. And I was like, she's the only person who like really. But Helena helped me. And then the next day I met Lily for the first time and that was like, thank God. Like we say this all the time. I think people ask us that when we do our press and stuff, oh my gosh, like are you constantly pitching yourselves

like oh my gosh, I'm in this place. I'm, oh what a location, I'm in Paris right now, all this. I kid you not, especially this past year, I don't think a day on set went by without me and Lily saying, could you imagine? I went like, Lily, could you imagine if you were a bitch? Like, could you imagine my life if you weren't so-

If we hated each other, yeah. We won the best for each other so much and we both learned what an adult female friendship was from this show. Of like that bitch, she's in Denmark. I probably haven't talked to her in like a month, but like Let me tell you when I see her next like it's gonna be this, you know, like she And I don't think Mike to be frank, like I don't think my character. Have you watched the show? Yes. I've watched the show Okay, great. Jesus Ashley but I don't think that,

I don't think my character could have had the different dimensions that it did if she was against it. Right, right. And if she wasn't like, Mindy and Emily coming together and being like, how do we be there for each other and this forum place for both of us?

And that didn't have to be the heart of the show when it is because she really wanted it, she really wanted it to be. And so I've learned so much from her and she's felt so supported by me and I'm proud to say that. And then the next level, which I think you have with a lot of people that you've worked with, like me, no, but you really, really deeply trust that that person is going to elevate you and uplift you in the way that you can't for yourself.

It's incredibly rare for sure. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Ashley tells me about how her Emily in Paris co-star, Paul Foreman, went from showmanse to serious boyfriend, including a very serious illness that brought them closer. And she shares a special note she received from her Only Murders in the Building co-star Meryl Streep. Okay, be right back.

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No, of course. Because Paul, you met on the show. Yes. And you have a, I was going to say you have a tendency for showmances, but I'm not sure if we're going to say that. No, no, I wouldn should say it because I think... Oh, here he goes. I also love that you said his name

while you had a mouthful of this. Paul Foreman? Paul Foreman? No, I actually, I probably was most scared to tell you and Justin about him because I immediately probably expected a, oh yeah, Ashley, your love interest in another show. But what I will say is that right before we really connected at a deep level,

I had literally said very clearly to many friends, I will never date an actor again. I will never. I think I remember you saying that. Especially one who looks like that. Like. I will never. I think I remember you saying that. Especially one who looks like that. Like, I will never, I'm not that person, never. And one of the first things he said to me as like a castmate and as a friend was just like,

oh, I've never, I've never dated an actor and I've never done long distance and I won't do it. And he was, I think. Where's his home base? London. London. an actor and I've never done long distance and I won't do it. And he was, I think, what was- Where's his home base? London. London. And what was wild is that we really did base,

like it was really like a friendship. All of our scenes were done that season, not being intimate at all. And I have never worked with like, to be frank, a white straight male who was that thoughtful, generous, that I was so impressed by him in a way that I didn't expect to be.

I mean, he's very good looking, and you're a very attractive couple, both of you, together. Wait, what? Jazzy, thank you. Stop, stop. We're staring, sorry, I'm starting screaming. Wait, no, no, no. What I'll say though, I want to feel really honest in anything.

When I interact with, whether it be followers or people that know me, I want to feel really genuine. At a certain point, I was like, I love Paul so much and he's so a part of my life in a big way and I feel very dishonest in hiding him. And then it turned out that I became like, so possibly irreversibly sick that Paul really saved my life. You know? And so that felt like something that I couldn't share. Cause I think it was a wild time too,

because we don't have to get into the nitty gritty of the hospital stuff, like maybe we will later. But like he, I remember thinking, oh, I'm not gonna burden anybody with this. But when people were like, oh my God, beefs want a Golden Globe, oh my God, are you here right now? Are you here?

Like why aren't you here right now? And thinking, I don't think I can interact with anybody who's close to me after this without them knowing that, like I almost wasn't here. Yeah. You know, and I was in- That was very serious.

In such pain. And at a point where I really didn't think I could ever laugh or breathe again deeply without like excruciating pain. Do you feel comfortable saying what happened? You know, I was across the world with my boyfriend. We had been in part for two months, and we were going to have a week in the Maldives.

And I had what I felt was like a tonsillitis, and then whatever that was spread to many many of my organs and I had pneumonia both my lungs and on New Year's Day I was told that it was not actually what I will say which I haven't shared is that and I don't quite remember it because I was really really out of it I was really, really out of it. I was in so much pain. But they said, oh, so you have septic shock. And I was like, oh my gosh, I am shocked that I have sepsis. Like that's what I'm talking about. I didn't realize that there are different degrees of sepsis and that was like the most severe one.

Very severe, yeah. And I've got a hand to have somebody like that, and I'm sure you're like that for Justin, Justin's like that for you, who's able to not alarm you when there's like a 40% mortality rate or when you're alone and when they don't, you know. It's like, it was really scary

and I wasn't able to process it because of the condition that I was in. And he was able to, and he was able to stay strong for me. And so after that, I was like, everyone gets to know, like, I really don't care. And like... No, I know that was a huge turning point for your relationship.

And I mean, and I know you shared a lot of this on your Instagram, but you were in a hospital in a foreign country. And I know just from being married to a cancer survivor, Justin is a lot more susceptible to things. And there's a little bit more panic and fear when something's abnormal. Yeah, I think maybe the good thing and the bad thing

has been that I remember when I went into remission when I was 16, after cancer, we were having a big meeting and they said, okay, just so you know, long-term effects is your heart will beat, la-la-la-la-la, your fertility, and I said stop. Like for me, like I'm such a believer in like, as soon as I'm thinking about something, I'm going to manifest it.

Don't tell me. There's a lot of things that possibly are... I kind of want it to be my choice now. I'm going to have this glass of wine if it's not good for me. That's my choice because you guys have stuck enough things into me to... That wasn't my choice. because you guys have stuck enough things into me to like, like that wasn't my choice, you know? So I think that this recently was a lot scarier than when I was 15, just because at that age, you think you're an adult,

but you kind of haven't done it all. And then for me, I never thought when I was sick as a teenager that it wouldn't, that I wouldn't get better. And this was the first time I was really like, oh, I guess this is like, I've done enough. Like maybe this is it, you know? And so I think that that and then like having to go straight into filming after that. It's personally pretty tumultuous, but I'm glad I'm here now. Oh my God, yeah, no.

But I think that for me, really, you and Jesse Tyler Ferguson have seen me through many a relationship. And many. Just a few. But what's fun about our friendship is that when he first was introduced to me, like I had no idea what my self-value was. I really was like, oh how can I be the most

accommodating to like whoever I meet or like whoever I'm dating and like, like how do I, yeah I just, I really had no self-value. And then you see me now. You did a lot of growing up. I feel like you went through some serious heartbreak when we were getting to know each other really well. And I think you came out of that serious heartbreak.

I was really, remember when I had hives? Yes, you gave your body like was going into shock. We thought I was allergic to like five different things when we were doing the show at Williamstown. You kept getting hives. And I was like, oh my God. I have like, well, I thought it was my mastocytosis, which is my mast cells.

It was the first time I thought, oh, what did the cancer people tell me? Oh, I have this issue with my mast cells. That's why I have hives. No, it was like heartbreak. Like, I wasn't OK. Yeah, yeah, literally your body was not. Jesse, he was like, Ashley, your hives are crazy.

Yeah, they were insane. That was really bad. You were going through a lot. But I think coming out of that experience, your hives are crazy. Anyways, yeah. Yeah, they were insane. You were going through a lot, but I think coming out of that experience, you grew up a lot. And then also then, I can see the difference in your relationship with Paul than you've had with your past exes.

I think it feels very, there's ease that you have around him that is really lovely. Yeah, you know what's funny is, like, I don't think I've said it before, but we, he's the first guy I've ever, I've always been very comfortable with, because I loved my independence,

I loved being free and whatever, I loved the gray area, and being like, okay, well, if you're not gonna say anything, then I'm not gonna say. Paul is the very first person I've ever been like, okay, we if you're not gonna say anything, then I'm not gonna say. Paul is the very first person I've ever been like, okay, we're about to part ways right now, we're done filming this show, but I want you to be my boyfriend.

And it was the first time I really was like, I'm so confident in this, and like, I'm ready for you to be my, like I've never done that. I am like, I think you do need... Have you really celebrated the fact that you have, in the past few years, been a part of so many fantastic shows like Beef,

like Joyride? Did you watch Joyride? I loved Joyride. I told you I saw it. I watched it on a plane. It was fantastic. Good. Not in the theaters, but you saw it on a plane. There's some naughty things that happen in that, and I watched you do it on a plane. It was fantastic. Good. Not in the theaters, but you saw it on a plane.

There's some naughty things that happen in that, and I watched you do it on a plane. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Naughty, naughty. I think, you know, there's been this sort of evolution around how we represent people on television and film. I think you're part of that movement. I think what's interesting is before,

whether it be a role in a musical or a film, any role or opportunity that was given to somebody who looked like me, I would try to find a way to wedge myself into it. How can I make the whole person that I am make sense for this, that they want to see this? And I think what's amazing about, like, the beefs and the joy rides and the, you know,

the many, like, the things that are happening now and what excites me, it's more about, wow, there's, like, full humanity and a full world fleshed out that shows the person or the people that I've been accustomed to that maybe haven't been seen, and how can I best serve that story? I get to be part of serving it, rather than I have to figure out how to make this thing

that I've been given show everything that I am. So I think that's what's super cool. And I think that's what I'm super excited to be a part of. And even for me being in beef, there are scenes that happen in like a Korean American church, which is what I grew up in in Ann Arbor. Like every Sunday, that was my only access

to the Korean community, because my parents would take us to a Korean church in Ann Arbor. And I had never seen, I never knew anybody else had that experience. So seeing that in a script. And of course I was the only Asian character who only interacted with white people,

but like that's its own thing. But I was so happy to be a part of that, you know? So the thing I feel most lucky about is not like whether people know me or whether people want to work with me or anything, but it's like who am I most excited to be around? Who am I most excited to be, you know? What am I excited to tell and stuff like that?

Also, I feel like you're in this really interesting place. The things you buzz around and that almost come to you are all so interesting and so different. One of the things I love that you've done recently is Only Murders in the Building, specifically because I got to watch you sing with Meryl Streep, which is absolutely bonkers. I mean, was that something that you knew

was going to happen or was that? No, I think when they, John Hoffman, the showrunner, we met and he said that there's this duet with Meryl. I was like, absolutely, I will do anything. I really don't care. And, I was like, absolutely, I will do anything. I really don't care. And then I was like, but please, because you know how, I'm such a scaredy cat. I was like, if I'm the murderer,

will you tell me though first, because I'm so scared. He was like, you're not. And I was like, okay, I don't even know who it is, but I'm so scared. Because they really don't tell anybody until the end. Yeah, I mean, I think what was really actually special about that too is two things. Meryl was obviously like,

everything you would think that somebody of that stature is like not having to be. She was like that and more, like she was just so lovely. Well, she's a theater person. Exactly. And the song that we sang was actually written by Sara Bareilles. Yes, our mutual friend buddy.

Benj and Justin, like Pasco and Paul. So it felt like all of these parts of my life coming together in a really beautiful sort of way. But was there like a moment where you're like, okay Ashley, we're gonna go into this tiny little room with the piano and you're gonna sing through this with Meryl? Was there like any moments like,

what the hell is happening? I think it was the day that we sang the song over and over again. And what's incredible is that she, especially when the cameras and other people, she didn't have to do it over and over again. I think we probably sang it like, I'm gonna say randomly, like 47 times.

Wow. Like full out, like us together. I think for me, I was just like, let me just be chill. Let me just do the best I can. Let me be there for her. This is such a big thing. And the very, you know how at the end of Broadway shows, when you leave a show,

you have everyone sign your play bill? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, it was a fake play bill. I was like, the inside was all like ads or whatever. But I was like, oh, that'd be fun. Let me just do that. And everyone was signing their name and I gave it to Mero and she signed it and she gave it back to me.

And I was like, what does this say? And it said, I see you, Ash. Aw. That's incredible. It's Mero Streep. It said, I see you, Ash. Aw. Here, I know I'm gonna cry. That's incredible, it's Meryl Streep. She was just like, I really, I really see you. Yeah, that's incredible. And she's like, Ash, and like you're doing it.

So that was like, it really made me realize, oh my gosh, like anybody I interact with, like who might be looking up to me in that way, like what a difference that can be. Like it's still like, it's month, year later, you know, year later and it makes me want to cry. I love hearing stuff like that, especially from people I admire so much

because it reminds me that when you meet these icons, like Meryl Streep, who come like, they force you to remember that you're on the same level as them, that we're all just there as artists, we're all trying to create this thing together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yes, she has way more Oscars than us because we both have zero combined,

but it doesn't matter, we're on even playing field and we're here to tell a story together. Well I think what I, yeah, and what I learned from her is that any situation where I'm like, oh, I'm still in my old self or no one cares who I have Just like whatever and I don't realize until later when someone Text me rest. Oh my god That meant so much to me to see you or that kind of thing is like

thanking them and completely saying oh my gosh, I completely Like now we've connected. Yeah,. And what a beautiful thing that is. And I think it's a responsibility that neither of us ever thought that we would have the opportunity to be a part of, ever, ever, ever. And I didn't know you when you didn't, but you absolutely knew me when I had no idea

that I'd be part of any sort of rhetoric in an important way. And I was just trying like eat Sour Patch Kids and like not, and like enter on my, and not have hives, you know? So like, I think it's very, it's so, and also I think I really appreciate, just so you know, that you don't hold me to

who I was when you knew me, when you first met me. You know? Like I think that- Yeah, of course we all evolve and change and- But I think that's really hard with like certain, like very close family and close friends that you've known for a while, where you kind of fall back into these kinds of ways

or they expect this of me and this is how I get, make them comfortable and like really being surrounded by people who are like, let me call you out for like those things, but also like how great that you're like, you're there now. And I think respect is so cool. Yeah, I think to go through something like that unchanged

is to maybe not experience it. I used to find such validation in being the person that everyone wanted around, and it's hard for me to do, and I'm grateful for Paul and for people around me who are like, oh, you can see a little bit more clearly because we're very susceptible, we're very. Yes.

Yeah, we're very leasty-goosey. Are we done yet? We could be done. You've done a really good job with your dinner. And so you know what? Because you've done such a good job with your dinner, dinner's on me. Me.

Oh. This episode of Dinnerners on Me was recorded at Pally House West Hollywood's Lobby Lounge Cafe in Los Angeles, California. Next week on Dinners on Me, you know him from his roughly three-decade career as Conan O'Brien's comedic partner, and from films like Elf and Madagascar, it's Andy Richter. We'll get into coping with depression during the end of his first marriage, finding love again, and being a parent to a toddler in his mid-50s.

And if you don't wanna wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners On Me show page on Apple Podcasts to search your free trial today. Dinners On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions.

It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Angela Vang. Sam Baer engineered this episode. Hans-Dyl She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balanz-Kolassny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.