Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Best of: Julie Bowen / Sarah Hyland

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Through the end of the year, we’re going to revisit some of my favorite moments on the show.  Starting off with my interviews with my “Modern Family” family members...First up... My on-screen sister and dear friend Julie Bowen joins me at Republique in Los Angeles during a torrential rainstorm to nibble on pastries and kimchi fried rice and debrief on the end of “Modern Family” and how our lives changed during that time. I felt so comfortable with Julie that it was a no-brainer to have her be the first to join me on this podcasting adventure. Also, “Modern Family” star Sarah Hyland joins me at Gracias Madre in West Hollywood. Over chips & guac, we dive into her healthcare struggles during the show’s run, her love story with former “The Bachelorette” contestant Wells Adams and her hilarious stories of growing up in New York City. A Sony Music Entertainment & A Kid Named Beckett production. Interested in advertising on the show, contact [e-mail]. Find out more about other podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow us @sonypodcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So it's no secret to anyone who knows me that I love to be in the kitchen. I love that with masterclass, I can be a student of some of the greatest chefs in the world, like Thomas Keller, Alice Waters, and Roy Choi. I don't know, watching these masters break down their technique and share their own stories of growth has made me so much more confident in the kitchen. This fall, learn from the best and become your best with masterclass. They have every topic or interest you can think of from leadership and negotiation to creativity and my favorite cooking. And you can also take masterclass wherever you go. Listen to it in audio mode in the app or put it on your TV. A masterclass annual membership is $10 a month.

And with that, you get access to all 180 instructors from a former FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Foss, to acclaim therapists and author as Starr Perel. And right now, our listeners will get an additional 15% off an annual membership at masterclass.com slash dinners. That's masterclass.com slash dinners on me listeners. I wanted to take a moment to look back at all the incredible conversations we've had on this podcast.

So from now until the end of the year, we're going to revisit some of my favorite moments. Today, we have two of my modern family family members, Julie Bowen and Sarah Highland. Julie was actually the very first person I sat down with on this show, and you could say I still have my interviewer trading wheels on a bit. I love how she sometimes turns the tables on me as well. It shows you a bit of our true dynamic. I can understand why people think that we're actually siblings in real life. And later you'll hear my chat with Sarah Highland.

Seeing her grow up on the show, overcome obstacles with such tenacity, it only made our friendship that much more special. All right, up first, Julie Bowen. Now I have to say Republic laid out their restaurant brilliantly. When you walk to the front doors, you have to walk past a pastry case at the front. There's always a line, which makes sense because Republic is known for their pastries. Chef Margarita Manski, she's been nominated for eight consecutive years for James B. Edwards in the outstanding pastry chef category. I've spent so many meals with Julie, but to be fair, a lot of those meals were not really that exciting. They were salads from the salad bar or M&M's from craft service.

They were really special moments, though. That's how we all got to know one another, just over these breaks in our work days. And with Julie, she was my on-screen sister, but honestly, she's evolved into what feels like a real sister. So I asked Julie to brave a torrential rainstorm in Los Angeles to chat with me. And by the way, a Spanish revival building commissioned by Charlie Chaplin in 1928.

Let's hope he's not haunting this recording. So without further ado, Julie Bowen. Are you gonna do TV again? I really, really like the schedule. Modern family shot. We were very, very lucky. We had very short days. They started it early sometimes, but there were days where I don't know if this happened as much for you, but I would show up to work at six or six thirty in the morning, I'd only have a few scenes to shoot and I'd be driving

home in morning rush hour traffic. So I had the whole day ahead of me to do whatever I wanted. I don't think that would happen again. I think we just got very, very lucky. But I do like that long form of storytelling. What I don't like is characters, especially characters on sitcoms, the audiences don't want growth. You don't want growth. You don't want to see Monica Geller not be neurotic, you don't want to see Rachel

not be wacky and you don't want to see Claire not be micromanaging. That's a drawback for me for TV. I feel like there's not, and maybe not all TV, I'm watching some of these longer-form dramas and I do find that they allow these characters. Draw my eyes. But if it's serialized, serialized, I can... Well, serialized when the story is drawn out over many, many... That's what I mean.

...episodic is when they... Stand alone. When there's stand alone, it's more like a SVU. Gotcha, yeah, yeah. You can watch them any order and know one cares. Because no one's growing. Breaking bads, for example. Breaking bads, I mean. Amazing character growth. Those people are not the same. Breaking bad is a pretty example. Breaking bad is a pretty. Amazing character growth.

Those people are not the same that people they were in episode one. Like that's what I'm hungry for if I'm gonna do something again. I know, but do you feel like we're in the comedy box? Mm-hmm, absolutely. I was just saying that in the comedy,

but I used to be the cryer. Yeah, I mean, did it go? I was like a good solid cryer. You're always remembered for your last job though. I know. And now you're the mom who has pratfalls. The mom who what? Does pratfalls. Does pratfalls. That's right. I'm the falling mom and I don't know how you get out of that. I don't either. I mean, you know, for me like doing take me out was a step in that direction, but so many people like, you

know, take me out was this planet. I'm Broadway and I had a lot of humor. I had a lot of pathos. I got to sort of show my entire toolbox. And yet, a lot of my- Well, it didn't show as tool. I didn't show my tool a lot of the other actors where naked is what Julie's referring to. No, at the point of the show, but it's hard to ignore. But, you know, even close friends of mine after,

you know, when they stay back and and say hello to me after a show, they'd say, oh, you were so funny. And it kind of broke my heart that they, that's what they led with. So even in an opportunity where I could show a lot of things, like they led with, oh, you were funny. And yes, I was, but I was other things. I don't know, I kind of, I had a moment where I was like,

it's gonna take me a really long time to crawl out from under the character that I was so lucky to do for 11 years, but I'm sure you must feel the same way. Well, that's one of the things that I always felt so lucky to have that job, and when we would get into things like negotiations and money, and I would feel like, oh my god, I can't have some more money, this is just a great job. But, I don't know who pointed it out to me, but an agent or somebody. They're buying the next 10 years from you,

not just from work, but you have to dig out from being clear. You're clear. For the rest of your life. You'll all be able to work for a little while as something that people don't say, oh, you're clear. So you should be compensated for that.

And you know, we were, I don't know. I mean, maybe if I get, I've seen him getting arrested, maybe, is it like some scandal? But, no one's gonna, no one gets hurt. No one gets pregnant. We just, a light arresting situation. The would've got pregnant in the situation.

But, I always wanted to write. That's what I want to do. But I'm terrified of it. Why? Cause he's fucking hard. Yeah, it's a lonely experience. It I'm terrified of it. Why? Cause it's fucking hard. Yeah, it's a lonely experience. It's like the hardest thing. I think it's the hardest thing.

I wrote a cookbook and I had a writing partner and that was so much of the hard. And you just, and you know, half of that's just like developing recipes and like, you know, it's not even writing, it's just like diguring out of something tastes good. And you actually had to write in that too. I did, you know, you have to write these introductions

to the recipes, and sort of explain what I mean. And you know, there are certain recipes that's like, I got nothing for this too. I did, you know, you have to write these introductions to the recipes, it's a bit of explain, whatever I mean. And, you know, there are certain recipes that's like, I got nothing for this one. I don't know, it's just a yummy recipe. Can it just be a yummy soup? Can that just be that? Is there ever, have cookbooks always had like a story to them or what you like?

I think the good ones do, yeah, certainly. If you were to write something like, what would it be like a script or a book or a memoir? We would just be a list. You would be a to-do list. I thought it could be very good if it's to-do lists. I was going to do just a book to create an organizational skills. I'm really fine at my to-do list.

And each day you realize it would be a tale that's told through to-do lists as you realize that certain things keep repeating and others are falling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a mystery. I wrote a script that sat in the drawer for, I wrote it right before a modern family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a mystery. I wrote a script, it sat in the drawer for, I wrote it right before a modern family. Oh, really? But I would never admit it.

Oh, it gets too scared. This is first, I've heard of it. Yeah, I've never talked to me, but I pulled it out of the drawer and I'm not getting it three days ago. Turns out chunks of it are missing. I don't know where. Like, I'm like,

Like, pages, it goes like, Well, it was $42 to $56. And I was like, I don't even have final draft anymore, the software you need for this stuff. I had to download final draft, I upload this file, and I'm like, where is the end? I'm like, I know what I wrote in it. So it has a lot of work to be done in it.

But it's very, very dark. And it's a movie or is it, it's a movie. Yeah. It's lighthearted. No, it's actually sort of funny. But yeah, I was's very, very dark. And it's a movie or is it? It's a movie. Yeah. It's lighthearted. No, it's actually sort of funny, but yeah, I was like, that's dark. No one would want to. At that point in your life, you had just come off of what?

Do you mean lost? And I mean, you were doing that. What are you doing? Darker things at that point. Yeah, Boston legal. Boston legal. Which is not dark. But you know, it's not a half hour situational comedy.

No, I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm you're on the phone. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right.

I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right.

I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. I'm going to get this right. It was like our hair and makeup trade, that's where we would all hang out. We'd joke with one another and make each other laugh. And that's, you know, what? I missed that. Yeah, I do miss that.

How is ending the show for you? I mean, I know X-Hav is there. We were all very emotional, you know, when you're doing the last shot and you're putting off the last shot. And then they slowly start wrapping the characters one by one. Like that's a wrap on Aubrey Anderson Emmons. And they started with the youngest kids

and went all the way to head, it was the last one. And you felt like you knew when your number was coming up when they were gonna wrap you. And it was just incredibly sad and emotional. And so if he was drinking tequila, you know. For members we're singing songs. For members we're singing songs. We had a lot of our spouses, my husband came.

He was there. My kids were there. Your kids were there. You know, family came around. It was almost like they were there to be a part of a funeral. And it was really emotional. I also found myself being very protective that day, because I could not process the end of this 11 years.

In that moment, with all this pomp and circumstance around as well, do you remember what that day was like for you? I remember getting in trouble with the director, Gail, because when we were in the big huddle hug, I was crying so loud that it was the ruin to the tape, and we had to do it again. But I just had this feeling like with any super emotional situation that I was like, I gotta get out of here. That's how I felt. I need to go.

And I thought, and it's okay, because we're all gonna see each other, because we knew that we had a bunch of press to do over the spring, and we had the, you know, the rollout of the final episode, and there was a documentary and all this stuff. And then nobody told us that the world would stop,

and we'd be locked in our houses. So, I mean, I've been a lot of therapy over there. There was a lot of loss at once. The loss of the daily interaction, I had gotten divorced in year eight, maybe. Or nine, I've lost track of time. Do you see yourself dating again? Or having that, like a relationship with someone

who like you share space with? Yeah, I don't know if I wanted, I don't know if I want to date. So I don't like those dudes who are like in suits and they're flexing and like, I don't know. I'm not into it. Like people with real jobs, basically. Yeah, I think I'm making my life impossible

because I don't want to date somebody with a real job but I don't want somebody who doesn't work. Right. But like- And dating people at the end of the series hard, but then the other end, understand it. You kind of want like a guy who started a tech company in the 90s and sold it when he was really young, early 2000s, and now he's just kind of coasting, having fun. But he's really interested in like philanthropy and

carpentry maybe, like makes tables and gives away money. God, this is specific and I love it. I know, but that's like he has an artistic side and also gives a shit. I can't stand people that are cashier and just partying. Let's sign you up for an app right now. We have to, we have to profile. Looking for. You have to be successful, but it needs to be in the rear view mirror because my schedule is weird. You have to, you know, make tables on my time. But, but he cares very much. He started a charity for armless kids to make tables too. I don't know. It's just something, something meaningful.

Or a writer. Yeah, I don't want to companion. Why do you have somebody? You set me up. You only know who you are. I mean, you've asked me before. To set you up. Yeah. It is crazy when we first met. You sent me out. You only know who I am. I mean, you've asked me before. Does that you want? It is crazy that when we first met,

I was completely single. Yeah, you sure were. Completely single. Like so single. So single. Like apps single. I don't know what I would have had the where we thought to pick Justin out of the lineup.

Yeah. I think I would have picked for you. And Justin's perfect for you and I adore him. But I think back when I met you, I thought you would need it. Somebody who was more, you know, sort of like a lawyer, like, a lawyer, but he's also 10 years younger, you know, barely had a lost one of that older kind of lawyer. And yet Justin makes you light and filled with life and, and you're ancient and he's so young so true so true so true How did he meet Justin they made it the gym Justin hit on him

Because A he was cute and B he wanted you to do something. I don't think Justin thought I was cute He wanted you to do something for one of his Many charitable interests wasn't but human resource cap? Maybe he was. Well, Justin was working on the marriage equality case on Proposition 8. He was working for the nonprofit that funded the case. And so he had watched an episode of Modern Family because his friends told him to watch it. And he was in the law school.

He didn't really have time. But I feel like I think this is actually gonna be a really great thing for just, you have the pop cultural touchstone of like what, this whole marriage equality. It was good for the gays. It was good for the gays. And so he saw me at the gym in the locker room,

we were both clothed, and he just came up to me and said. Why do you need to say you were both clothed? Because I feel like that's necessary. Because when you hear the locker room, they think steam room. He told me a different story. Tell me what he told you. You were working out on like a machine.

No, really. It was in the locker room. So interesting. I wonder if you must have a naked then. And he wanted to protect you for the night. I would promise you I was a naked. I would not have had the courage to have a conversation. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Back up. Did you, one of you see the other previous to that first engagement walking by? Make it. No, walking by the other, working out. Do you see one of you see the other previous to that first engagement walking by, no walking by the other working out? You see him when you were on the machine walking by? I did not see him. Did he see you? Maybe.

I thought you had seen him and thought he was very recognizable and very famous at the time. He probably did see me. You are very famous with your red hair and Justin's very good looking. Very good looking. He's very good looking. Your children are beautiful. But that was the thing when he started talking to me.

I was like, oh, you're a hottie. Like, what's your name? How old are you? I got the details. You did it Julie. I did it Julie. See? It's not so bad to ask questions, Jesse.

No. I do. I do. I'll take it. I love it, Jesse. I love that you are doing this because it gave me an opportunity to come in and talk to you. Even though it's a little unfair that I have Gestapo lighting in my face.

I know, you know what you do. And you're like backlit, like Theo and Vincent. I know. Like I just read some red hair sticking up. Well, I love you. Well, thanks for coming and doing this and for having dinner. And don't worry about the bill. Dinner's on me.

And now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, you'll hear some of my favorite moments from my chat with Sarah Highland. Okay, be right back. When it comes to designing a healthy life and food plan, you need a long term solution. Nume is here to help. NUM's personalized courses are easy to follow and will help grow your confidence with tools you can put into practice on day one.

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of the 70s and the AIDS crisis of the 80s, all despite the constant threat being exposed and losing everything, including each other. New episodes of Fellow Travelers streaming now with the Paramount Plus was showtime playin'. Good evening, this is Jonathan Van Ness and this Justin. I'm launching a new series called Curious Now. Every other week on Curious Now, we're covering major news stories or stories that should be major. Elections, climate change, LGBTQI plus rights. I'm so excited to be bringing you my journalist adjacent best and best of all, getting curious

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Subscribe to the official Prince podcast now to get the first episode as soon as it drops. The story of diamonds and pearls is produced in collaboration with NPG records, Paisley Park Enterprises, Sony Music Entertainment, and Warner Records. records. Oh, what's that I hear? Is that the sound of a spicy margarita being made?

I'll answer that question myself. It is. It's got all you need. Lime, agave, citrus salt, then, of course, tequila, or if you're feeling smoky, mescal. Today I'm at Mexican restaurant Gracias Modre. It's just off Melrose and West Hollywood. It's a plant-based and beloved in vegan vegetarian circles,

but you don't have to be an herbivore to appreciate it. I chose today's spot for someone I consider a little spicy yet post-so-approachable. I know she also loves tacos and makes responsible nutrition choices. So without further ado, you might know her from pitch perfect, bumper and Berlin, the wedding year, or as my niece, for 11 seasons on modern family. It's Sarah Highland.

I have so many things I want to talk to you. Okay, let's talk. First of all, I was thinking today about how your childhood was like my dream. Because I was raised in Navigating in Mexico. I dreamed of going to New York. I watched a 20-watt every single year. I was like, I didn't even know what New York was.

I was like, that's where I want to be. And your tiny little TV in the kitchen. Exactly. And I was like, I just want to go someday. And you were not only born in New York, but you were raised kitchen. Exactly. And I was like, I just want to go someday. And you were not only born in New York, but you were raised there. Yeah. I believe both your parents were actors, right?

Your mom was an actress, why I know you're not? Yeah. It's currently working in Harry Potter on Broadway. Dumbledore. Dumbledore Broadway. But your mom was, is, was an actress? Is, and is now was then. Okay, okay.

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. A little time in between. You gotcha. And your brother was an actor. And like, just talk to me about not only like, just growing up like a child actor in New York, but actually just living as a kid in that city. Yeah, it's wild. You know, the East Village, I grew up on 7th

between first and second street. And the East Village in the 90s, it was not what it is now. And it was very dangerous. My dad had, his nickname was the mayor of 7th street because at night he used to actually like walk 7th street between first and second with the baseball bat. And what? I cannot imagine him doing that. I know.

Well, I could walk up and down the street with a baseball bat, just kind of like our own like street patrol type of situation. It's just sort of as an intimidation factor. As an intimidation tactic, you know, like there was a lot of people on the street that had little kids and, you know. You just have to protect them.

Out to protect, you know, just like, but he was, it was my dad with baseball bat. Not bad. And so everyone nicknamed him the mayor of Seven Street because that's what he did. So it's very wild thinking about my childhood, about how my parents had to literally like lift me up out of the foyer because there were needles there

from overnight. So it was very, very dangerous growing up but I didn't think of anything otherwise. You started acting and making money when you were four. I was four yeah. And that was like what? Voiceovers commercials. I played Howard Stern's daughter in person. That was at seven right? Well that came out in 97 but when I shot it I was four. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember what that was like? Every single moment. I mean, tell me about what you remember at age four and being a working actor in New York. It's strange. I think I'm one of the few people that remember way too much about. I'm shocked that you remember

things that happened to you at four. Yeah, I mean, I remember the whole audition process because I had been begging my parents to let me audition and them being theater actors. They're like, no, you're going to face rejection and be poor for the rest of your life. You don't want to be an actor, trust me. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is me.

And I poached my dad's audition. So he had no audition for private parts and then they saw me and they were like, oh my gosh, you have this long curly hair. You have to audition to my dad's audition. So he had not auditioned for private parts, and then they saw me, and they were like, oh my gosh, you have to audition a play Howard Stodder. And I got it, my dad didn't. And so we're filming at JFK. And it's really just me, and I can't remember the other little girl's name,

but she was so sweet, she played my older sister. It's just like us running up to Howard Sturn's screaming daddy-dassy. And like that's name, but she was so sweet she played my older sister. It's just like us running up to Howard Stern's screaming daddy, daddy. And like that's it and like walking away. It was the easiest gig for a four-year-old. And so we're filming at JFK. My quote unquote trailer was a conference room.

And they were like, hi, I'm so and so on the PA. What do you want to eat? And I heard PA and in my head, I thought personal assistant. So I was like, oh, personal assistant, thank you so much. I get this entire conference room to myself. Look how fancy I am. I would like, limpsies and chocolate covered strawberries. Thank you so much with a sprite. And she was like, I'm not sure if there's a limpsies here, but I will see what I can do. And I will see what I can do about chocolate-covered strawberries at J.A.K. Somehow they made it happen.

And they brought me a turkey sandwich from blimpies and chocolate-covered strawberries. I was like, this is the life. Okay, so by the way, PA stands for production assistance. Yes. Not your personal assistance. But as a four-year- old, I didn't know production. It says my dad had been doing theater. So I didn't know the film, television life.

And so I just thought personal assistant and it was like the most glamorous thing in the world to me. And I had so much fun and Howard was just the kindest individual and I just remember thinking like you have the blueest eyes I've ever seen. You're so pretty. And then the next job that I got was playing Jennifer Aniston's daughter in Object My Afection,

and I had a honey wagon. There was no blimpies or chocolate covered straw bear eyes. And a honey wagon just for people who have never heard of this is like, how would you describe it? It's like, it's kind of like a sleeve of a room. A sleeve. It's a sleeve of a room.

A quarter sleeve of a room. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, basically a trailer that's divided into like four, three or four parts, maybe. Yeah, I would say more like five or six. Five or six, okay, yeah. And so like, you get your little segment of the trailer and sometimes it's about their

minute usually no. Or well, in the 90s, the Honeywagans, you lifted up a cushion of the couch and it was a toilet. That's right. I remember the first time I actually was in one that had a chair that converted to a toilet. I was like, this cannot be Santa's chair. This cannot be Santa's chair.

I was sitting on that when it was, you know, when it was not, when it was the couch, when it was the couch, and being very uncomfortable that underneath this cushion was just like blue, like toilet water, you know. Who knows how many people have been in here, what kind of people. Exactly.

Yeah. It was all very disturbing. Yeah. So that was a honeywag. So it was a honeywag. A bit of a, a bit of a culture shock for me. A demotion from a conference room. Yes, exactly.

From the chocolate-covered strawberries and conference room, and my mom was like, oh, thank goodness. She's not going to want to act anymore because she sees how life really is a working actor. But then I would, you know, I'd be doing my penmanship on the side of the street because it was a nice day out and the honey wagon smelled like a bathroom because it was. And Jennifer Aniston saw me and she was like, oh honey, what are you doing?

No, come into my trailer, do your homework there. And my mom was like, gosh, Jennifer, I am trying to teach my daughter a lesson that it is not all glamour and now you're inviting her into your entire trip with like a bed and a kitchen. And it was like one of those massive trailers. And you know, she's Jennifer for Afghanistan.

At the height of friends, right? Like beginning height. Like that's like essentially like modern family season two, three kind of big, big deal. So she had this massive trailer. And I would just do like Jennifer and Einstein would help me with my penmanship and everything and my mom was like my goodness, my daughter is just like the luckiest little girl ever that she keeps getting hold into

these places and. Okay, I was wondering this because I did not come from parents of, you know, my parents were not in the entertainment business. But I know several of my friends grew up with parents who were playwrights and actors. And what was it like for you growing up with parents who were successful, they were working. But you were sort of hitting it at a different level. It seems like even early on. Yeah.

Do you know what that was like for your dad and for your mom to sort of be shepherding you into this industry and have you doing so well? Was there complications with that? My parents have always been so supportive other than them saying, no, don't become an actor. Right. Once they realize that the train had left the station and they couldn't stop it. been so supportive other than them saying, no, don't become an actor. Right, right. Once they realized that the train had left the station and they couldn't stop it, they realized, you know, like, well, we have to support her now.

And you were saying that. She's on this ride. And my dad, you know, he was doing Merchant of Venice in the Shakespeare Theatre of Louisville. I'm just kind of like really taking any job he could to put money on the table. So he would be in Colorado for six months at a time. And here I was, you know, on television shows and doing movies left and right. But I think

that they were always just really proud of me and just always making sure that I wanted to do it. I don't think they ever resented me in any type of way. I think they just realized, you know, like, I guess this is what our daughter is going to do with her life We really hoped for her to be a doctor or a lawyer or something We want to make sure that she doesn't make any Mistakes when I booked modern family that was like the big rocket to the moon kind of thing I think that honestly because I came from a theater family and because I had essentially just played jewelry my entire life for 14 years in TV

shows and even Broadway and things like that it was it it really helped set me up for navigating modern family to the success that I was able to just personally on a personal note because it really could have gone sideways for me. I was 18. I was living in LA by myself. I could have become that club girl and things could have gone very differently I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love tell Sarah I miss her. Which I, I mean, I, I know we'd be friends regardless because I love you and we have musical theater and comment and we just, we connected very, on a very deep level and we were doing modern family together.

But definitely, we both have their knowledge. One of the reasons we are so close, is because you love my husband so much. Oh yeah, my mouth is so full. If we got the worst, I'm not fully confident that I would win you in a relationship. I would straddle. I promise I'd straddle.

The spread eagle. And that's what I would do. I would go full on Chicago for you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. It's so funny because in your episode with Julie, she was like, in a lineup, I don't know if I would have picked Justin.

And I was listening and I was like, I would. Because I used to date gay men. And I'd be like, that one, I would want to date him. So I'm going to put him with just a... I love that. I love the gay art. Oh, yeah. Speaking of, when I first started the show,

obviously I was single, but you were, were you living with your boyfriend at this time? No, so I remember it was either the day of, or the day before your first date with Justin. They're filming at J and Gloria's. What it was, no idea. Okay. But we're in the foyer of J and Gloria's

and you come up to me and you're like, I have a date with a 23 year old. I was like, I have a date with a 23 year old. Oh my goodness. And we both had dates that weekend with like 23. I was like hilarious. I was so excited. I was like, oh my gosh, these are the guys we're gonna marry.

And I went on that one day and I was like, absolutely not. I hope this worked out with a 23 year old for just seeing because it did work out for me. That's so funny. You remember that? I do not remember that at all, but that's hilarious. I absolutely I can't remember that. I'm sure there's a piece of me that was like okay, maybe this boy's too young for me if Sarah and I are both. I'm sure I'm sure I probably like accidentally freaked you out in that moment being like me too. Because even just hearing that in retrospect I'm like, oh my gosh, my heart palpitation is, you know, we've all vacationed together. Like I feel like we all, it doesn't feel like I'm the old man of the group even though

I am. Please, my husband's older than your husband. That's true. It's just a big, hodgepodge of people we love. It really, really is. Okay, so certainly at this time, in your life, things are changing rapidly. You have this steady work. You're on a show that's a huge hit.

I so appreciate how you say you don't wanna be defined by your health struggles. But this is also time when you were having a lot of health struggles. But at this point in your career, you're going through not only like, you know, early 20s, late teens, which is such a tumultuous, weird time anyways, figuring out, you know, you're dating people trying to figure out who you want in a partner. And then on top of that, dealing with something that is not only

putting you in a tense amount of pain, but also changing that is not only putting you in a, it tends to not a pain, but also changing the way you look. In a period when you are on the hottest show on television, let's just face it, it was like we were on a five, five of these in a row streak. Crazy. But it's like all eyes were on us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, can you talk a little bit about what that felt like?

Also, I know you've had these conversations so many times with so many people to have this conversation with someone who is in that space with you. I just hope that, you know, you know, I'm here to take care of you. I don't want you to know. Oh my gosh. I'm exploiting this moment of your life because it's something I know that was really hard for you to go through. Well, what was that like for you? Honestly, that was the only way that I was going to be able to make it through anything. It was just you work, and you just constantly work, and you constantly distract yourself with work. And that's it. For me, it's... I don't remember a lot of filming.

And because I was always focused on essentially just surviving and knowing my lines and being there 100% when they yelled action and then immediately collapsing when they yelled cut. I remember a day when we were shooting and I don't remember the specifics of the scene and you might not remember it because I think you were in a intense amount of pain that day. But we were pushing a car.

Oh my God, I remember that so much. I had gout. You had gout. I remember that so much. I had gout. You had gout. I was on dialysis. I had gout. It was a... That's right, you had gout. And I remember you were wearing a high heel shoe.

Yeah, they put me in high heels. That hadn't been established, by the way. Those heels had not been, I feel like I got cabbage on my nose. Oh, sorry. Ha-ha-ha. For the listeners out there, I was rubbing my nose. You were rubbing your nose, it was very intense.

It was very intense. They had not established my outfit yet, and they insisted that I was wearing heels. And I legit, there are pictures on the internet of me, like, we were purple. We were purple. We were purple. Yeah.

I had gout, because they had put me, I was retaining so much water, they put me on, like water pills or whatever it was and and because I was put on that I got gout in my foot. It was the most excruciating thing. I'm so vividly again I don't remember I don't remember the scene because I think I was so concerned about you there was there was something on the windshield I was trying to rip it off and was pushing it and you were and you yeah because you were Up there there was someone up the sun roof. Okay, so I don't remember any of that.

There's, there's something. I'll have to go to the tape. Thank God we record it. Let's roll the tape people on Instagram. Play the clip. There are so few industries I feel where like people are expected to work through illness like that. And I do feel like the entertainment business,

especially if you're in front of camera, you know, if they can't write you off for like three months, or four months where you go through this thing, like you kinda have to show up. I hope you hear this praise, and like just, just know it's coming from such a place of love, but I know Julie's throwing this praise,

you know, as well, but I just remember how strong you were during that time, and it's like, how is this little munchkin doing this? Thank you so much. I love you so much. And I think I really needed to hear that. No. So also, something insane happened during this time.

When you were going through probably the hardest part of your chronic illness, you were going into your second kidney transplant, that your brother was giving you. Donovan. So, Donovan was giving you, you know, his kidney, and right before all this happened, you and your now husband Wells started to talk to one another. Date.

Started to date. Wild. What were we thinking? I mean, I remember when you started talking about him and you would come into a world. In Tahoe. That's right. In Tahoe.

Yeah, when you were on dialysis. Yeah. What was it like opening yourself up to love and to, or not even to listen at that point, you know, you're just like, oh, it's another guy. I'm gonna maybe go out and date with the will see where it goes. But like, it is, you know, it's a very, it's a very vulnerable place that you have to put yourself into when you meet anyone new.

And you were in such a vulnerable state as just, you know, it's a physical human being. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I know firsthand because I lived through it, but talk to me about like what that was like to sort to bring walls into your life at that point. Yeah, it was so, it just kind of goes to show that as much of a detached queen as I am, I'm like, whatever, it'll work out such a Sagittarius, it'll be honest. I told you guys about him for the first time in Tahoe, but we had been talking for a

little bit at that point. But Tahoe came around and Taylor Swift came out with reputation. And Justin and I were dancing our asses off on the, on the Peter. The bright Justin came to Tahoe with us. And I was like, I'm gonna tell Justin, I'm gonna tell Justin and Justin about Wells.

And then of course, like Justin and Wells being the Portuguese kings that they are, he was like, he's hot. Yeah. And yeah, I just was, I was just open to it. I could tell he was a really good guy. And we were texting and sending voice memos, like nonstop to each other.

And then like getting on, then like it graduated to the phone calls, and Somalennial, it's absolutely ridiculous. And you know, he was opening up a lot to me about like very personal things, and I was just like, man, like, being on the bat's lorette just really did a book. It's like he went to a book camp for love. Yeah. Or he has to back up a little bit. Yes, I'm sorry.

Well, it was a contestant on the bat's lorette. Yes. And you were watching that season. I was. And you were, do you tweet something about him? I tweeted. He was on the mental all. And he made a reference to not only Harry Potter, but Lord of the Flies.

I'm not a huge bachelor. Bachelor of personal. The mental all is like a reunion type. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. In the bachelor nation. In the bachelor nation, which I'm a part of. What is bachelor nation? Just the culture around.

It's like a fan base. Gotcha, okay. I'm making it. Or either fan base or like people that have been on the show in battle. Okay, I don't know. Okay'm not married to very small community. I think it's rather large. It's actually very large.

I'm the one person who doesn't know that what combination is. Hey, you love Wells. You're a part of Bachelor Nation. I do. You're a member. So I like tweeted about him and he's slid into my DMs. And then we stopped talking and then a year later, I was single again and we actually started talking

and he asked me out and I was like, yeah, sure. And he was like, wait, really what? Wow. I did not think that this was gonna happen because he lived in Nashville at the time. So it would have been long distance. And I think that's the really great thing about our relationship is that not only did we start

long distance, but we started just on the phone, like almost like a modern day love letter, just to each are like off at war, like I miss you, Dilly, please stay alive for me. And yeah, we really, really got to know each other before we even were physically in the same room. Right. So I felt very safe and comfortable with him, but obviously not enough to tell him what was going on medically in my life.

And then by the time that I realized, you know, like, oh man, like I really, I could, I think I could probably marry this guy. Like he is so. He is the form meeting him. Yeah, I was just like, this is like such a strong connection and I have such an amazing feeling about this. I'm gonna put this out there

because I'm not gonna start dating him when I'm in recovery, like absolutely not. I've been through this before and I know how hard it is when you're recovering. Like, that's not gonna happen. So, just kind of threw it out there and I was like, hey, I'm having something happen next week. And it's going to take me out of commission

for the next couple months. So you should come to LA within the next week or else I don't think that this can continue. And he did. And we had our first date at the night before the Emmy's party. And that's when I told him that I was on dialysis and that was on a Saturday and that next Tuesday, Saturday night before the Emmy's party, our first date.

The next day was the Emmy's, our second date after that. Monday we had work on Monter Family and Tuesday had my transplant. And so I told him at the night before the Emmy's party and he made a joke because it's Wells and if he's uncomfortable, he makes a joke. And he was like, oh, can your brother ask for that back? And I was like, no, he can't.

It doesn't work that way. And he was like, oh, oh, okay. And he saw like my really, really serious eye for the first time. And he was like, oh, this is like really serious. And he was like, that's amazing. To test a relationship at such an early, like, I mean, the infancy.

Infancy is, it's remarkable, first of all, that it survived. Yeah. And that you guys are such a great couple for those who don't know. I did officiate the wedding as a... It was the most amazing thing ever. Honestly, the world works in mysterious ways, because I can't imagine you not now. And I think for those that don't know,

well, Zenai had planned to have Thai Marias. Both of us thought that it was an amazing homage to modern in a way that, you know, film married Hailey and then Thai could marry me. I think it was a great idea. We were like, oh my gosh. And then obviously, he told us 10 days before emergencies happen.

And so then, well, as an I had a discussion and immediately called you because we were like, if he can do this, we need to tell him now. And we were just so grateful because it was, you were absolute perfection. You were Gandalf. But like being able to do that was for so much such an honor. But then also, I mean, it was just, it was so overwhelming.

And there was just so much love in that room. And I was truly honored to be a part of that whole weekend. I would love to do a double date soon. I would love to. But I love you. I love you. Thank you so much for having me. Oh my God. Are you kidding? You were like on the top of the whole weekend. I would love to do it double day soon. I would love to. But I love you. I love you. Thank you so much for having me. Oh my God. Are you kidding? You were like on the top of the list. And dinner is dinner on me.

Dinner's on me. Dinner's on me. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Dinner's on me is a production of neon hum media, Sony Music Entertainment, and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by Yours Truly. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch.

Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Chloe Chobal is our associate producer, Sam Bear, engineered this episode. Hans Stale She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison, special thanks to Alexis Martinez and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.