Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - JUDY GREER — on being Hollywood’s BFF, insane auditions and actor envy

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

"The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" star Judy Greer joins the show. Over mezze plates and pumpkin spice lattes, Judy tells us about the charm of playing off-center characters, why she loves to audition, and meeting her husband on a blind date. This episode was recorded at Botanica in Silver Lake, CA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and you know how I know? Because I already have a note in my phone of all the things that I need to buy to make our Thanksgiving feast. You know, there's a sweet potato dish that Beckett wants me to make him, and then Justin, he loves the biscuits that I actually have in my cookbook, Food Between Friends, little plug there. And my mom also loves the green bean casserole that she used to make for us when we were kids. Listen, I know exactly where I'm taking this shopping list. To Whole Foods. I just know I can make everyone at the table this year happy by shopping at Whole Foods. I mean, they already have brined turkeys, perfect for frying or spatchcocking.

Or the Whole Foods Market Organic Spiral Cut Bone in Ham with a brown sugar rub that's hand torched for seared in flavor. I am telling you guys this ham is life-changing. Now while I'm in the checkout line I sometimes run over and pick up host gifts for any Friendsgivings I might like to go to. Let's be honest, Friendsgivings are kind of the preferred holiday, right? Not just me. Like poinsettias or holiday wreaths. You can really get a lot done in one visit, people. Oh, wait, and as I'm recording this, I see that Whole Foods actually caters the whole spread. Okay, okay, gosh.

Okay, maybe I'll just do that. All right, I gotta go. It looks like I need to put in my order by November 26th. Get your holiday party started at Whole Foods Market. I don't know about you, but every year fall rolls around and I struggle to find the right gift for my friends and my family. But luckily Justin Wine makes it super easy. Justin offers curated gift sets, library wines, magnums, and even custom etched bottles, which you could add a message or logo to.

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Shop all of Justin's exceptional wines at justinwine.com and be sure to use promo code JESSI20 to receive 20% off your order today. That's JESSI20 for 20% off. Hi, it's Jessi. Today on the show, you know her from rom-com classics like 13 Going on 30 and The Wedding Planner to franchise films like Ant-Man and The Wasp.

In fact, she has over 150 credits to her name and her latest is the best Christmas pageant ever. It's my friend, Judy Greer. Everyone's like, oh, you're always the best Christmas pageant ever. It's my friend Judy Greer. Everyone's like, oh, you're always the best friend. And then I was like, I've transitioned into compassionate ex-wife. Uh-huh. Slash sad mom.

This is Dinners on Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. [♪ MUSIC PLAYING FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FADES out, MUSIC FAD God, I love Judy Greer so much. I know it's very easy to look at other people's lives and careers and think, wow, they really have it all figured out. But that's how I've always felt about Judy. I was, and gosh, still am so incredibly impressed by her scope of work as an actor. Every time she pops up in a film or TV show, she shifts the chemistry of her co-stars.

The colors seem brighter somehow. The scenes pop with the currency that is new and exciting and slightly dangerous. I never know what she's gonna do, what off-centered choice she's gonna make. In my opinion, she walks away with every scene she's in. It doesn't matter who she's sharing the screen with. It could be George Clooney or Jennifer Lopez,

Ty Burrell or the entire cast of Arrested Development. Her presence just elevates everyone around her so much that when she's not on screen, you notice and you want her back. This just partly summarizes why I am the unelected, unofficial president of the Judy Greer fan club, and why I was so excited when she agreed to let me take her out for a meal. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uh Right here. We're in the middle of it. In the middle of Silver Lake. I brought Judy to Botanica in Silver Lake. Founded in 2017 by former food writers Emily Pfeiffer and Heather Sperling, Botanica is all about good food, good vibes, and a community focus, serving up fresh seasonal dishes that spotlight local produce and sustainable practices.

The indoor-outdoor space is bright and welcoming, designed to make you feel right at home. You'd never know that it was a liquor store in its previous life, other than the sign that says liquor right outside, which they haven't removed, which I love. It has a small market up front and a namesake pantry line, so you can bring a bit of that Botanica magic into your own kitchen. Although Botanica has a bit of everything, it's definitely a vegetable-forward restaurant with delightful vegan options from my pal Judy. Okay, let's get to the conversation.

I used to live literally right across the street. It was my first apartment here in LA. I came to LA and I was like, I hated everything about it. I saw a lot of popcorn ceiling, but that like depressed me and then I found this neighborhood, Silver Lake, and I was like, oh thank God this place exists. Thank you. Hi.

Where did you come from? I came from New York. I was doing theater in New York. Oh, okay. But before that, New Mexico. I know, buenos dias. You're from New Mexico? Yeah, I know, it's wild, right? A before that, New Mexico. I know, buenos dias. You're from New Mexico? Yeah, I know, it's wild, right?

A redhead from New Mexico, imagine. Oh my gosh, you must have so many hats. I did. Hi. We both have, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There isn't one cultural concept to the menu. The chefs just kind of cook based on their inspiration of what's in season, Southern California produce. Fun. All very local farms. So like farm to table, not exclusively plant-based, but the heart of each dish, that's really what's being put on display.

Is that great Southern California produce? Are there any dietary restrictions I should be aware of? I will order vegan food. Vegan food? Yeah. We have lots of great vegan food. OK. What's your favorite vegan thing? Definitely the heirloom bean hummus and lava bread.

Oh, OK. We use preserved lemon to provide the salt and acid. OK. So it's like it's a very classic hummus but like kind of ripe and acidic. We also have some sunchoke chips on there and pickled beans to accompany it and then there's a little drizzle of clementine oil which is just like smoked paprika. That's so good. Yum! Okay. The autumn lettuce is also fully vegan and the buckwheat soba salad also vegan without the egg, which is just a small part of it.

Right, but you didn't mention that as one of your favorite dishes, so I'm not, I'm not touching that with a 10, but. No, you should stay far away from that. Selfie stick. I've actually had it, it is delicious. Oh really? I already know what I want.

What are you getting? I'm gonna get the morning meze. You are? Even though it's afternoon, it's clearly in the afternoon. It's so good. Well, I don good. What if I got the same thing? Just get the same thing without the egg. Yeah. It's delicious.

Okay. I feel like sharing with this setup would be... I'm happy to do whatever you want to do. No, I want my own. I'm an only child and I don't like to share food. I already knew that about you. Not that you don't like to share food, but I was like, oh. Well, now you know that. You got an only child coming in. I don't like to share food. I already knew that about you. Not that you didn't like to share food, but I was like, oh.

Well, now you know that. You got an only child coming in. I'm gonna try this pumpkin spice latte with local squash. How do you say this? It's diaspora spices. What? Diaspora spices. Single origin spices.

I'm getting everything he's getting, but like vegan. Yeah, sweet. I'll do vegan milk, or like oat milk. We have oat milk and we have our house made cashew date. Ooh, I want the cashew date milk. Me too. And also something, sorry I keep going, something sparkly.

Yeah, absolutely. I am a big fan of the cucumber, lemon, ginger spritzer. Absolutely. Do you want these together or do you want the spritzer after your? You can just line up the liquid. Line them up. Yeah, line them up. I'm just, the only, my only. Here we go. I'm not having the spritzer after your? You can just line up the liquid. Line them up. Yeah, line them up.

I'm just, the only, my only. Here we go. I'm not having the spritzer. I'm just gonna stick with water. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. You should be your own person today. No.

I need a director. And also these pastries look amazing. I might take some of these home. Okay. Where do you live now? So now I live in Encino. Because I have kids now. The Great One Eight.

Great One Eight, that's right. But like, it's like hilly up there. It is hilly. Friend on Havenhurst had a party and my husband and I, we live in Larchmont Village, decided to walk there. Yeah. So we walked.

Wait, you walked to Larchmont Village. We walked. Not to Havenhur Wait, you walked to Larchmont Village. We walked. Not to Havenhurst. We walked from Larchmont Village to Havenhurst. No. We took the whole day to do it. We left our house at like nine or 10, and we walked all the way up through the hills

and then back down again because the Cuyenga Pass was really scary because everyone's driving really fast. Yeah. It took us all day and- I was gonna say, did you even have, was it like nightfall when you arrived? We got there around the time that the party was starting, but the next morning we decided we would-

By the way, can we just say really quickly that that walk from Larchmont to Encino is like 10 miles. Yeah. It's not short. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yes, it was probably around 10 miles, but the way home.

Wait, let me tell you, it says, okay, Joanna just, it's 16 miles. Judy, it's 16 miles, and it says six hours and two minutes walking. But we stopped, we stopped a lot and we drank a lot of beers on the way, and we did partake in some marijuana. And so there was like a moment of the walk

where we were just like. Oh my God, this day. It was so fun. Halfway, somewhere around, I forget where, he had to buy new shoes because his feet were hurting. My God, you had to stop for footwear halfway. We stopped for footwear. But also the day before we went on our walk,

I bought new New Balance, and he was berating me, saying, like, you can't wear brand new shoes on a walk like this. Like, that's such a rookie move. You're going to get blisters. I'm like, I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. New Balance.

So I didn't, and he did. He had to replace his shoes halfway. Whatever running store, there was a running shop on Ventura. You passed every type of store possible on that trip. Literally. I know. Like there's a store that just sells thimbles, you passed it.

Did you know on Ventura? I know, I'm like, I was an expert. It was really fun. That's absolutely incredible. Oh, how pretty. It's very inspiring. Thank you. Thank you. This is gorgeous. Cheers.

Cheersville. Oh my gosh. Oh, it smells like fall and it's 80 degrees. Oh my God. Oh, that's delicious. Oh, I need to make sure I have the story right. Okay. You're like, okay.

All right. That's the way. Okay, let's dig in. I just read a etiquette, a thing about etiquette about when you're supposed to put your napkin on your lap. When? I forget. I think it is.

I forget. I forget. I was like, God, I remember reading the article. I don't, my comprehension is poo. I think when you're at a restaurant, you do it right away. But when you're at someone's home, you wait until the host or hostess does it, then you do it.

That seems like it makes sense. I think that's what- Isn't it humiliating when you come to it, like when you're sitting at a table and the waiter like puts on a lap for you? It doesn't bother me. It bothers me. I guess it doesn't humiliate me.

But one time, I think it was my stepdaughter's 16th birthday, we took her to Mastro's, because it's like fancy restaurant and Thousand Oaks. I think it was at this meal, she was wearing a black dress and the waiter switched out her white napkin. Yes, that's classy. And I said, they do that when you're wearing black

so that you don't have white fuzzies on your black pants or black dress or whatever. And she was like, oh. So then on her 16th birthday, when we were at Mastro's, she brought her best friend. And when they did it to her, I like heard her be like, they do that when you're wearing black so that you don't, like it was so cute.

Like that she was like, it's normal at a place like this. Yeah, let me teach you. Emily. That's so funny. She's like a hundred now, but that was really cute. Okay, this is what I wanted to ask you. I think we've talked about it a little bit before, but you have to remind me,

what is your relationship again with Modern Family? Were you offered Claire? Do you remember? I think I was asked to audition. I don't think I was getting offers at that point in my life. I think I was asked to audition for Claire. This was a time in my career when I was starting to like,

I was just maybe once in a while having a kid. Not in real life, but in- Sorry, in a movie. I was like once in a while having a kid. Did you just casually have children spread out through all of that? I used to do, I used to surrogate. I was a surrogate between jobs.

So I would like in a movie, and it sounds so silly to say it out loud now, but I'll be honest. I know where you're going with that. I don't think I'd say it all. In a movie, I would have a kid. And then there was this opportunity to audition where I would have three kids,

like one of them in high school and on a TV show that in success, and you do kind of have to think of these things in success and obviously Modern Family was a huge success. Like how does that, like in a movie, people kind of like see it and then they forget. In a TV show, it's just like. Oh, you're a mom.

You're a mom. Yeah, you're a mom. 100%. a mom. Yeah, you're a mom. Like that's it. 100%. No, you're absolutely right. I didn't even want kids. Like I wasn't, and like that was not even on the table for me and so I was like, ah, I think I'm not gonna audition for it.

I was like really torn about it, but I ended up obviously not. And so who knows if I would have even gotten it anyway, but I was sort of just like, I don't know if I want to be like America's mom yet. I get it. And so yeah, I was like in my thirties, like early mid. So I was like, I don't know.

And it just felt like so limiting compared to what I was doing already. And in addition to just the perception of who you are as an actor, it's lifestyle too. I was like, well, I like traveling a lot and I like doing all these movies and I like going to all these places and I like meeting all these people.

And the weird thing is if I did have a kid, I'd want to be on a show, that shot in LA, that was I was gonna be around for all the time. Like, you know. You weren't ready. I just, like, I wasn't ready for it, like, in and out of my career. Yeah.

So. Yeah, well I know, and that's what I was going to say. Obviously, you know, all these, it's just proof that, like, we all put things in our heads. Oh, and see. And like, our realities are not even close to, like, what other people are thinking. Yeah.

But yeah, you just worked with Steve Levitan on Reboot. Yeah. And he adores you. I worship him. Yeah, I mean, so many people just, and then close to what other people are thinking. But yeah, you just worked with Steve Lovettan on Reboot. And he adores you. I worship him. Yeah, I mean, so many people just absolutely revere you. Rightfully so. But I just remember you saying, oh yeah, I'm feeling weird about,

it's just interesting, I just find it all very interesting because in my opinion, like you just said, you were doing so many things. And you were one of those actors that when I first met I was like, oh my God, I'm such a fan of hers because I've seen her in so many different things and I've seen her be brilliant in so many different things and she's just like the epitome of someone

who like fucking works all the time and does really cool stuff and like can turn anything into gold and I was like, I was just so inspired by that. So to see you kind of like, I don't know, admit to stepping away from something, I was really, I admire that so much. I'm glad. I can't ever help myself but just say everything on my mind.

It's like, I wish I was just like, I'm so happy to be here. But instead I'm like, I don't know, maybe they're mad at me, maybe I should've done it, I don't know, yeah. I go through that all the time. I was at this event last night for the powerful women in Hollywood. Oh yeah, I saw you there, wait, no I didn't.

Where were you? Oh no. I'm at the Codependent Women of Hollywood. It's a very long luncheon. It never ends. It's always going in a very small ballroom at the Ramada near the airport because we don't want people to have to drive very far

when they fly in. Yeah, it's incredible. I wanna go to that luncheon, by the way. Yeah, for sure. The Codependent one. I absolutely will be your date. No, tell me about the powerful women in Hollywood. Tell me what they were saying.

They were all very intimidating. No, but I was just amongst people who, like Carol Burnett, for example, was being honored. And my friend Liz Banks presented an award to Amy Adams. And I was just surrounded by all these people who have had these incredible careers, but also like Carol Burnett for a while, like she disappeared. Like she wasn't really doing it.

She's had quite a renaissance, but I just, you know, Liz Banks would always tell me, you know, like slow and steady wins the race. Like a lot of people have no idea. Agreed. Yeah. And I just, I'm so inspired by those careers. And I felt like I was just amongst a lot of incredible women who had really been,

had really been a testament to what that means. And it was just very inspiring. You don't know when you get here, and not just for women, but in general, you don't know that when you start, you basically have to start acting when you're really young. Very rarely do people start and become successful actors, starting in their 40s. That doesn't happen.

Everyone's still out, but it's always like... It's so rare, and it's usually a dude. You start doing this job that's really super hard and makes you feel like poo a lot of the time when you're really, really young. And so all you want is you just think, if I just get that, if I rocket ship to the top of the list, if I become a star, then everything will make sense and I'll be able to work forever.

But what's true is actually, no, it's like slow and steady wins the race is actually like when people have like real longevity. Like I mean we all want those like movie star moments of course or TV star moments, but like really playing roles. Ah! Wow, that looks so nice.

Playing roles. Look at the yolks on those eggs, god dang. Thank looks so nice. Playing roles, look at the yolks on those eggs. God dang. Thank you so much. Playing, you know, like you can have a really long career, but I don't think anyone comes here and starts out and is like, I want a lot of small roles in independent film.

And I'm really hoping that maybe I can just stretch out a recurring role and turn that into like a different recurring role and just like work on my foreign values slowly but surely so that I can start like nobody says that really. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Judy tells me about the actor she was jealous of early in her career and the audition where everything went wrong. Everything. Okay, be right back. When you're hiring, it feels amazing to finally close out a job search.

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on this podcast. Indeed.com slash dinners on me. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed. The other day I was making lemonade with my sons, Beckett and Sully, and Beckett is a little bit of a perfectionist.

I'm not sure where he gets that from. It's me. Uh, it's definitely me. Um, but he was getting really upset about the seeds coming out of the lemon and falling into the juice. And then he was, you know, having to pick them out with his fingers and. His fingers were getting wet and sticky and he doesn't like his fingers to get wet or sticky and it was, it was turning into a bit of high drama.

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and they are indeed lemons. Wonderful Seedless Lemons are available nationwide at retailers such as Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Walmart, Kroger, as well as select Costco outlets. Look for Wonderful Seedless Lemons at your local retailer or visit wonderfulseedlessleons.com to learn more. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. What is the thing, is there a theme that people

sort of ask you about? Is it about like- Jennifer Garner, that's all anyone wants to talk about. Oh really? No, like a theme? Yeah. Jennifer Garner, that's all anyone wants to talk about. Oh really? Ha ha ha. No, like a theme? Yeah. A little bit like this, like a little bit like, God you've done so many different things

and you've done, like you've, like, I say it like I'm making fun of those people. I don't mean it that way, but like yes, in the beginning I think everyone thought they were discovering me because like someone who cast me in a TV show didn't know that I'd been in an independent movie, or like, I mean now with social media,

we all know everything all the time about everybody, but in the beginning, it was less so. But yeah, people do like to talk about that, like it was some kind of like by design career, you know what I mean? Like that I had tried all these years to do exactly this. Like that's not the case. I just like, I love working and I have to eat food.

By the way, dinner's on me. Just so you know, it's the name of the podcast. So you don't even have to worry about paying. Now I don't have to do that job I just took. I'm so relieved I got it out of the app. Sometimes I get to the end of the conversation and I want to sneak it in and it's not good, but that was a good one.

That was a good one. Do you have a friend that you have to tell them up front, like, I'm paying tonight? Yeah. I know, me too. I have a friend who will not, he always pays. Why? With cash. That's cool though.

With cash that's like in different places in his house, like he has like rolled up cash in like strange places. Who's this friend? Yeah, exactly. Don't worry about it. Is he single? That's random. It's totally random.

Oh crap, I lost my train of thought. This is really good. Isn't it delicious? This is so good. I know what I was gonna say. When you were first working, and you do talk about having lots of small roles and just sort of taking lots of opportunity,

like what's the leading lady, what did she look like to you in like 2000, 2010? Like I know that was kind of the era of like, what, Julia Roberts. I mean, did you feel that the industry was even open to different types? I don't know, what was it like for you? No, I think the movie star that I grew up with

was Julia Roberts. She was sort of my north star of what a movie star was. I was like a little bit, you know, I didn't look like everyone else. My voice didn't sound like everyone else. Um, or whatever it means, like my sort of style of acting was different. So I think, like, the movie stars, like,

the girls were all, like, really traditionally pretty and, like, sounded more normal and didn't have, like, weird accent and didn't overshare at an audition and had nicer outfits on and were more put together and stuff and I remember there was this movie that Maggie Gyllenhaal starred in called Secretary with James Bader, it's so fucking good. Is it okay if I swear?

It's so fucking good and we were up for the same things a lot. Like when she got that movie, my first instinct was jealousy, because I'm a human being. And I was telling my agent, oh I feel very jealous of her, and now she's a star, and I don't think that I would have played,

I don't think I would have gotten cast in that role. It's not like I was like, I wanted that role. It wasn't that jealousy. It was just like, oh, she's going to, you know, this is going to put her at that level. And then my agent said something to me that I thought of and I still all the time think about. He's like, what you're missing is that she's opening a door

for people like you to star in things and to be cast in roles like that. Maggie's energy and my energy is very different, but we're like, we were both sort of at the time, like quirky and like not your traditionally beautiful person and like have something like a little off. And like, you know, our versions of all that are very different, but like, I remember thinking like,

oh right, it's actually a good thing. It means that the industry wants that. They want something different. They don't want a cookie cutter pretty girl, or the blonde tan pretty. They want, there's a desire for this. And if there's a desire for this,

then they're going to create more roles for this, and she's going to be busy playing them, and then you're going to get, I was like, her sloppy second, I'll take it. But I thought, it was such an interesting, it was just like a more mature way of looking at the situation, and like, mm. But also, I mean, I can understand

where you would come from though, when you feel like there are opportunities like a great role in that movie, which was so fantastic, and it feels like, okay, there's now a pool of us that are hungry for these types of roles, and they can only go to one person. I can understand where you would initially feel, you know. Yeah, it's all.

Like that sort of churning in your stomach, like, oh, I want that, I want that. But you're right, I mean, and I think, but don't you think that you're also holding it open for, you know, people as well, with all these opportunities that you've been given as well, I think. Yeah, I mean, creating, like, there was all of a sudden,

like, there was all of a sudden a desire for, like, something that, like, a character or an actor that's, like, a little bit more left of center, like, a little for something that, like a character or an actor that's a little bit more left of center, like a little bit more off, you know? And so I thought, oh great, then there is a need and a want and a desire for what I have to offer. I feel like you're one of those actors who, in a script, I'll be reading and they'll be describing

someone like, think Judy Greer. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Something that we have in common. I actually love to audition. Me too. I know. I've heard this about you.

It's really stressful. Auditioning? Not auditioning. Yeah, I agree. I mean, auditioning is stressful. I'm not like, I get really stressed out about it. But if you have someone who says like, if I, it doesn't happen that often for me,

but there's happened a few times where I've gotten a direct offer and I'm like, oh God, like the pressure's almost too high because they have so much trust in the fact that I can do this, like what if I can't? Like I'd rather like, let's all collectively together see if this is what we all want. Yeah, yeah, on the same page. But it's so funny because agents and managers

just love an offer. They're like, we're getting you the offer. And I'm like, but wait a minute. Or they'll be like, we're cutting together this thing to show them this version of you so that we can get the offer. And I'm like, oh, don't do that. Amy Sedaris tells this really funny story

of auditioning for this play. It's called The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told. She ended up getting it, but her audition was apparently awful, terrible audition, like bombed in the room. And they were all so excited to like meet her and she just did not perform well. Made big choices, they all like, none of them worked.

So as she was leaving the audition, actually the director Chris Frasch, he also told me this story, so I know it checks out, but she's opening the door to leave and there's a room full of other actresses who are about to go in for the same role. And she basically was like, so great, so I'll see you on Monday.

Like basically like sounding like she's starting rehearsal. And like, just pretending to have this conversation with the people who she bombed in front of. Like, oh, so great meeting you too, I'll see you on Monday. And they just thought that that moment was so funny. They were like, No.

Let's cast her. Yeah. Isn't that great? I was auditioning. The big swing. I was auditioning for a pilot. It was at Universal. I was running to the bungalow. I tripped and fell.

I caught my boot on a tire stopper and it caught my boot open. I hurt my knee, fell on my hands. I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck. I was for this pilot and I go in, and I'm like, oh, hey, you're here, okay, great, come on in, I'm like, ugh, ugh. I go in and I do my audition, and they're like, okay, thank you so much.

And I'm like, yeah, I always so much. And I'm like, yeah. I always used to ask if I can do it again. Like, oh no, it was great, it was great, it was great. And I'm like, okay. We all know it wasn't, but okay. And I like turned, I turned the door up, turned around, and I'm like, you know, I just fell down in the parking lot. I caught my, look, my boot.

My boot is ripped open, it's leather. And my hands are scraped up. My knee hurts. I just need a minute, man. I'm really sorry. I know I can do better. They're like, no, it was fine. And I'm like, ugh. And I shut the door, and I'm stomping back to my car.

And I hear someone go, Judy, Judy. And they're like, please come back. Please come back. Can you just put that back in your, like your rant? And I'm like, I don't know, like Amy Sedaris and I have a. But I love it in that moment that you left the room and walk into your car. What was that conversation in the room that they're like,

see now that's who we're picturing, that's her. That's like how it happens in a movie. That's what we wanted to get. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was like, where have you been, dad? Like that's a writing problem. Did you get it? I got the offer, but then I did something else.

Oh, that's right, yes. Remember pilot season, it was so crazy. Remember that, when that existed. So, yeah. What is this like, you have this crazy through line though of like your characters, and this is what I'm so amazed by. Not every character, well that's true. As well, but not every character,

but so many of your characters are completely unhinged and what I'm so fascinated by is like how you can find, like for me I'd be like I'm either unhinged or not hinged. Wait that's the same thing. I'm either hinged or not hinged. Wait, that's the same thing. I'm either hinged or not hinged. You're hinged? I'm either hinged or unhinged. Right.

Two different things. Yeah, two different things. But like you have found like nuance in the unhinged that I just find it completely inspiring. That's so nice to say. I'm going to take a compliment and say thank you. You're welcome. I'd also like to say that this is a trait that women are really good at because we have to compartmentalize our lives so quickly.

And I'm not saying men don't, but we're not allowed to feel the things that we feel all the time. And so, we have to like, I feel like, I think we have to sort of like, get our shit together really quickly. And, well, A, I'm probably neurotic and I have a lot of anxiety for sure, but like, I don't know, when you're, I can't speak to being a man,

but I feel like all my girlfriends are like this. Like, yeah, we can be like fully losing our shit and then be like, ooh, there's a spot at Trader Joe's and I need some apples. It's like, like I'll be sobbing in one room and then like my husband will be like, do you still want to get sushi tonight? And he'll be like, yeah, that'd be great.

Same order. Like we are just like, you know? But that's also funny and that's what I respond to when I watch things that make me happy and make me laugh and that I can relate to, so then I think, well, that's what I want to give to audiences, is, like, that thing. Yeah.

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Judy tells me the worst, quote, unquote, compliments she's ever gotten from strangers, and we hear about her latest film, the best Christmas pageant ever. Okay, be right back. You know when you discover a new binge-worthy show or song that you just want to bump on repeat, you love it so much that you just have to share it with all of your friends so that they can experience just how awesome it is. So that's kind of what

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So recently I've gotten back into somewhat of a consistent workout routine, but one thing I did realize, and I'm embarrassed to say this, is that some of my athleisure wear was looking a little worse for wear. I ended up doing a little refresh with some items from Quince. I got a few of the Flow Knit Breeze Performance tees and polo shirts. They're super comfy and lightweight. They look really great. And fun fact, the fabric is made from recycled water bottles.

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and 365 day returns. That's quince.com slash jtf to get free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a year, people. quince.com slash jtf. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. I know you talk about this happening to you a lot where people don't know how they know you. Yeah.

I wrote a book called I Don't Know What You Know Me From because I've had people, a flight attendant once was like, nobody knows who you are but I do. And I'm like, not a compliment, not what I'm going for. Otherwise, you are so pretty in person. I get that, I get that. Why do you let them make you look so ugly in movies? Why do they do that? Or one flight attendant once was like,

do you know what I love about you? I love that you play the same character every single time. And I was like, thank you for that. No, I would tailspin for weeks if someone told me that. That sucked. No, I was saying recently,

everyone's like, oh, you're always the best friend. And then I was like, I've transitioned into compassionate ex-wife slash sad mom. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It's a natural transition. Yeah, that's what happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My husband's like, you should make someone say one thing they've seen you in before you grant them a picture. I'm like, no. It's like, yes. Yeah. Do you remember how to work your camera? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know where. Yeah, yeah. People are like, yes, do you remember how to work your camera? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Out of nowhere?

Yeah, yeah. People are like, ugh! Yeah. It's definitely panic-dode. What is this thing that I touch that I've not? Although I have met people that I'm obsessed with, and I have wanted a picture, and all of a sudden, I'm like, oh my god.

You do lose your mind a little. I don't know how to work my phone. I had that at a fundraiser I went to with my husband, and Cindy Crawford was there. Yes. that at a fundraiser I went to with my husband and Cindy Crawford was there. Yes. And I almost started crying. I was just beyond starstruck and we walked past her and I was like, and my husband, Dean turned around

and he walked back over to her and he said, "'I'm so sorry to bother you. "'My wife will never ask you, but could I take a picture of the two of you together? And she was so nice, she was like, of course, and then she turned and she was like, oh my gosh, yeah! And I was like, ooh, like I was like, I can't. Wait, Jidi, where did you meet Dean?

Blind date. Really? I met him on my doorstep. When he picked me up for our date. He's a producer. He's a producer. He produces Real Time with Bill Maher. So a writer on his show is a friend of mine and sent me an email saying like,

hey, like, are you seeing anyone right now? My boss at work is smart and funny and the chicks dig him. And I was like, I'm super single. Anyway, so he calls and leaves a message and it's like the cutest message ever, I saved it. It's like, hi, my name is Dean Johnson and I got your number from Matt and well, I'm calling to ask you on a date.

Would you like to go on a date with me? Okay, here's my phone number, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, oh my God, like, cute. That is cute. So I call him back and my god, like, cute. That was cute. So I call him back and he doesn't pick up and I leave a message for him. Then he calls me and I miss the phone call and he leaves a message for me.

And so many voicemails that we actually, through voicemail, made our date. So yeah, opened my front door and there's this tall, handsome guy. What was your first impression of him? Well, that he was tall because for a lady I am taller sometimes. But my full length mirror is right by the front door. So I had my high heeled booties on and I was looking in the full length mirror

and I was like, this is cute. And then he knocks on the door and I'm like, you know what? Fuck it. Like if this works out, I'm going to wear heels around him. Like, let's see what he's made of. You know? And then I opened the door and he'm like, you know what, fuck it. If this works out, I'm gonna wear heels around him. Let's see what he's made of. And then I open the door and he's like 6'2". And I'm like. I did get to watch, I haven't gotten to see it yet,

but I did get to watch the trailer for your Christmas movie. Oh, it's cute. The greatest Christmas pageant? Best Christmas pageant ever. Isn't this a remake? Was there a story before? There was a TV movie.

A telefilm. Telefilm. There was a telefilm version of it in the 80s. I feel like I remember hearing about it, but this is an updated... I never heard about it. I never heard about the book. I never heard about anything until I was told about the project and the role, and I read the script and met the director, and then when I got it, I decided to read the book.

I mean, obviously read the book, but no. But what's crazy is I feel like I have been living under a rock because this is people's favorite thing in the world that I didn't know about. Like people are like, salt. You didn't know about salt? Like, no, I didn't know about salt, I'm sorry. But that's how I feel sometimes when people are like, salt, you didn't know about salt? Like, no, I didn't know about salt, I'm sorry. But like, that's how I feel sometimes when people are like,

you didn't know the book or anything. But also, I can't even really honestly say maybe someone did read it to me, maybe we owned it. I have no memory of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it looks great, it looks, stylistically it looks like it's beautifully shot. It is.

Which is always exciting, you know, to always exciting to have an elevated family classic. And I'm a sucker for cool shots. Me too, I appreciate them. And I always tell a director, if you want to get me to do something I don't want to do, just tell me that it's a really cool shot. And I'll be like, okay, I'll do it. We're doing a really cool shot. It's going to take a while to set up, and you are gonna need to hit your mark,

but like, it's gonna be fucking awesome. And I'm like, okay, let's do this. Yeah, whatever it takes. Otherwise I'm like, but I wanna go to Pilates. But yeah, I think it's, I think kids are gonna love it, and I'm really excited to see it all done, because like the music's gonna be cute, and like all the color timing, and just like all the stuff.

I mean, I grew up, it takes place in a church, right? Yes. Yeah. Ish, yes. I mean, this mom steps up to be the director of the Christmas pageant, and it's for the church. Yes, the nativity season, the nativity pageant. So, I mean, I have such a deep connection

to just that era, I have such nostalgia around it, because I went to Catholic grade school growing up, and we always did the Nativity at midnight mass the night before. And I started doing productions of the Nativity in my home. And I would cast my family members. And I remember my sister was always Mary, the Virgin Mary. My cousin, who was the strongest and the oldest of all of us,

was usually a donkey that she would ride it on. My brother was like, Joseph, and then a doll, like a Cabbage Patch doll would stand in for baby Jesus. I mean, I don't even know if I was actually technically in it, I think I was more just like the director. I was directing. And I do know that like it always, there was always a few songs that we always had in,

of course, O.A. and a Manger, but then it would end with with Carol of the Bells. Oh, dramatic. Yeah, dramatic. I would crawl behind the Christmas tree, and at the end of it, I would slug in the tree, so that'd be the grand finale. And then one year, my siblings, they got,

I was really bossy as well as a director. No. Yeah, yeah, I was. And my siblings, and I would also start rehearsal really early, like in October. Too soon. You know, I was. And my siblings, and I would also start rehearsal like really early, like in October. Too soon. You know, too soon. Especially for a play that you do.

We should start workshopping some ideas. Every year with the same cast. I would put spins on it, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I try new things. I wanted to workshop some new ideas. Sure, sure. And so, they got very annoyed with me because I was very bossy.

So around Halloween they quit. And so I was really frustrated. And then after Thanksgiving, we had two weeks off from school, and my siblings got really bored. And they're like, can we do the Christmas pageant? Judy, I made them sign contracts. That said basically I will not quit the show.

Do you have them? I wonder if my mom kept them. I would love like a documentary where you interview, not you, but someone that's not you, interviews your entire family about their version. Like remember how Motley Crue did the, like, the audio biography and they each told stories from their point of view?

Because I'd be so curious to hear this whole breakdown from like your siblings and cousins. Like the way you describe your strong cousin as the donkey, like her version of that would be compelling. I love that. Oh, Judy. Oh, here we are. It's so good to see you.

I know, I know. I can't think of a time. Do you ever, okay, before this, Uh-huh. how would you describe our relationship? Well, I know how I describe my relationship with you. It would be, I mean, I don't want to embarrass you, but like, it would be like fan. Well, thank you want to embarrass you, but like, it would be like, fan.

I'm sorry. Well, thank you. But like, because then I'd be embarrassed if someone asked you about me and you were like, oh yeah, we met once at a party. And I'd be like, oh, she thinks you guys are friends. I want you to know, I would call you a friend. Okay, thank you.

And you are allowed to call me a friend. Okay, deal. And you know what friends do for other friends? Pay for dinner? That's right, and so tonight, Dinner's on Me. Oh yeah, that was a good one. That was a really good one. Yeah.

This episode of Dinner's on Me was recorded at Botanica in Silver Lake, California. Next week on Dinner's on Me, you know him from Suits, Orphan Black, and Accused, it's actor Patrick J. Adams. We catch up since working together on Broadway and Take Me Out, including his new podcast, Sidebar, a Suits rewatch podcast. He tells me what it's like to watch back the hit show

for the first time actually, and we hear how he's tackled personal challenges thrown his way. And if you don't wanna wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early,

you'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to search your free trial today. Dinners on Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay.

Our associate producer is Angela Vang. Sam Baer engineered this episode. Hans-Dyl She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balanz-Kolassani and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.