Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Lea DeLaria — on breaking barriers as a queer comic, and finding unexpected fame with ‘Orange Is the New Black'

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

Actor, comedian, and jazz singer Lea DeLaria joins the show. Over enchiladas and rosé, Lea reflects on a life of firsts — from becoming the first openly gay comic on American television with her legendary “Arsenio Hall Show” set, to stealing scenes as Big Boo on Netflix’s “Orange Is the New Black.” We revisit our nearly 30-year friendship, beginning with playing lovers in Shakespeare in the Park’s “On the Town,” and share behind-the-scenes stories from our time in the theater world together. Lea opens up about the pride and pressure of visibility in the ’90s, why OITNB resonated so deeply with butch women who finally saw themselves represented on screen, and how a joke she improvised one night on stage became the now-iconic “U-Haul lesbian” punchline. This episode was recorded at Little Owl in the West Village — also known to TV fans as the building from “Friends." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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S-A-I-L-Y dot com slash dinners on me. Stay connected and don't miss your dinner reservation. After doing Here We Are in London and then Shakespeare in the Park in New York City this summer, I realize something. My closet is a little tired. I am really good on clothes for the rehearsal room, but I definitely need some new basics. Luckily, Macy's is coming through

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in the 1997 production of On the Town. You know her as Big Boo on Orange and New Black. It is my dear, dear friend, comedian and actor, Leah Dillaria. Rue had his own talk show on MTV. Yeah, I remember that. I was his first guest. I don't know that. That's a fact, yeah.

I was his first guest. I remember the first question he asked was a spice. girls were really hot. And he said, which spice girl are you? And I said, old spice. This is Dinner's On Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. All right, I am so excited to finally have Leah on this show. We have known each other for almost three decades. And she really does go down as the guests on the show, who I've known the longest. I asked her to do this while I was in town during Shakespeare in the park, and she said, yes. I'm so excited.

that she's finally going to be a guest on this show. She's probably angry at me for not having her on earlier, but you know what, that's fine. She's just going to have to deal with it. I'm here at Little Owl in the West Village. It's a corner spot that feels quintessentially New York. The restaurant takes its name from the little faux owls, the homeowners once perched outside to keep woodpeckers away,

but inside it's all warmth and comfort. The menu mixes chef Joey Campanero's Italian-American roots, recipes inspired by cooking alongside his grandmother with seafood he brings back from his own fishing trips and local market finds. I should say the building itself is a little bit famous. TV fans will instantly recognize it as the place Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey lived on Friends. Yep, the fire escape and all, which makes it kind of the perfect place to bring today's guest, Leah Delaria, who not only loves a cozy neighborhood hang, but also had her own unforgettable cameo on Friends. Oh, Leah's coming in.

Okay, get ready for this one. And, by the way, apologies to the editor in advance. Good luck editing this one together. I was thinking like you definitely 100% hold the record for the person who's been on this podcast, who's known me the longest. Without question. I love it. We met. I remember what your screensaver was when we met.

Tell me. Screensaver. Lance Bass. my computer yeah that was your screenstown I didn't have a laptop I must have had like a desktop you had a desktop like one of those Apple Macs yeah like candy colored Apple Mac

we used to play you don't know Jack on it that's right are we supposed to order food too Leah I guess we are I mean I don't understand I took my Ozempic so oh good Leah's a diabetic

just so everyone knows I just want everyone in podcast land to know that I'm not trying to lose weight with my ozempic. But it's a nice... I'm a diabetic. She actually were one of the first people on Ozimphic back in 1914. Okay. When they just discovered it.

I'm on it some coffee, please. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. I'll do a oatmeal latte. You got it. Yeah. Do you have anything sparkling? Sure.

Okay. Anything pink? Yes. I love pink and bubbly. You got it. Don't put this butch in a box. I want it pink and bubbly. I know you do.

You're so wrong. That was so wrong, that joke? Is that going to be edited out or is this an X-rated podcast? Or that was probably more like PG-13. That was PG-13. Yeah. Yeah. That was like under the sweater but above the bra.

Yeah. When I first started doing stand-up in 1980, as you know, that's when they really changed the rating system. So I had this joke because it was like Halloween time, so slasher's were out there everywhere. So I explained to the audience the difference between a PG and a PG-13, and in a PG-13, you could touch a woman's breast. In a PG, you couldn't touch it, but you could hack it off with a chainsaw. It's true. And that actually was true. Why do you think I sold the joke?

That's really... So wrong, right? But you get a hack-off with the shades off. Oh, my God. So, yeah. That's how old I am. Yeah. The rating system didn't have PG-13 until I was in my 20s.

That's hilarious. Oh, my God. Is that my pink and sparkling? Sure is. I'm sorry, Jesse, to do this in front of you. Why? because I don't drink. I don't care.

I don't care if you drink or not, as you know. Latte. Do you know what you want? I would like a double espresso as well, please. Oh, my God. Could I get a little cream with that? Line them up. Yeah, I'm going to have a drink flight in a second.

Oh, what did I see? Just love you some specials. Oh, yeah, yeah. I also want to point out our meatball sliders that they're going to be on this menu. I see. Those are a signature here. Gravy meatballs of meats of meat,

of meat, pork, eel, and beef in each slider. And then we also have some pork enchiladas. I know what? You're going to get two enchiladas, served with a tomatia sauce, a poached egg over top, and it comes with some green salad. That's 1,000 for someone I'm getting. I had no idea that I was going to have an enchilada this morning.

Go for the enchilada. Jesus. Remember when we couldn't actually order anything remotely Mexican in New York City? Yeah. Because everyone was far, everything was shit. But. Not anymore. It's great now.

It was so great when I lived in Bushwick. Now that I live in Inwood, ask me what the stop is that I live off of. What's the stop of the Atrain that you live off of in Inwood? Dyckman. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, Leah, I was in a sublet in Inwood for a little while on the corner of Dykemen and seamen. Oh, my God.

You know that right near one block up from there is semen and coming. Did you not know that? Oh, I've sent a picture of that to Alan so many times because it's spelled exactly like his name. C-U-M-M-M-I-N-G. Seamen and coming. I couldn't. That's really funny, funny. I laughed so hard.

For the time you stayed at my house, you're like, I'm not drinking, honey. I'm not drinking this weekend. And then you, like, opened a beer, and you're like, beer's not drinking. I knew you would love that. Oh, honey, beer's not drinking. Okay, wait, let's order. I'm going to order that enchilada. I, so damn, Ozzympic.

I can't. You can have a bite of it. Can I have a bite of your enchilada? I mean, that's good. I mean, if I would get anything, I'd probably get just like some lightly scrambled eggs. Is that possible? I would love some lightly scrambled eggs. I'll bet.

And if I only eat two bites, don't hate me. I won't. It's not because of the food, I promise. It's on an ozempic diet, hammy. So, okay, so, like, tell me about your early musical experience, though. Well, when I was a kid, so my dad was a, was a, my dad was a jazz. pianist and he would play piano in St. Louis and East St. Louis, very famous jazz, like area, just that nightclubs, city, things like that. So when I was about, I guess about eight years

old, he started taking me to gigs and like the, like he would say, you know, I was like the bearded lady. He'd go, here's my daughter. And out I'd come, the little eight-year-old freak. And I'd sing whatever, summertime, something like that. You know what I mean? Whatever was good. And the audience just loved it. Would you wear a little dress? I did. That's really cute. I know.

You've seen pictures of me in a little dress. I know. I was bathing that answer. And, you know, that's like late at night. He's bringing his daughter out to jazz clubs. And she's singing summertime. And people were excited to see that. Oh, my God.

They loved it. Yeah, they loved it. And, of course, that made me just completely fall in love with applause. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What is it that I'm living for? You know. Now for a quick break, but don't go away.

When we return, Leah and I do something that we're basically going to do a lot on this episode. We take a trip down memory lane. We recall our first impressions of each other and the time she took me to my first gay pride parade. Okay, be right back. You know, between two kids, two dogs, and my rehearsal schedule, sometimes the last thing I want to do is Wanda the grocery store. aisles. That's where Instacart comes in. Instacart is more than a grocery technology platform. It's really a care company. It connects me to thousands of stores across the country and gives me

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And we're back with more dinners on me. You have some really funny stories from your childhood. One of my favorite stories that you, this would be a lot of me. Like, tell that the story when. One of my favorite stories that you told me from your childhood is when you and your siblings somehow all agreed to talk about fictional people in your class. Yes. We're at the dinner table. My mom is sitting there. My siblings and I all basically teenagers are preteen, old, old and everything. And Richard, my older brother, Rick, said, oh, I saw Mike Cunt today. Mike Hunt, yeah

So of course, we actually didn't agree to this We didn't know what was going to happen And we all kind of went like that We're just like, huh? Yeah And then Thena goes, oh, how is Mike? So I think it was, how is Mike Hunt? I think it was between Thena and Rick

That this was like. So they were across the table And the other three are right here So I'm pick it right up. Oh my God, Mike Hunt I haven't seen him in ages And it goes on for about five minutes, and we just say, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt. And wasn't your mom like?

My mom was like, who's Mike Hunt? And it was, she was, I remember specifically she goes, I can't picture Mike Hunt. I can't picture Mike Hunt. So that almost destroyed the whole thing. That almost caused a train wreck. But we kept ourselves really dry. And Rick said, come on, you remember Mike Hunt. We went to great school together.

And my dad was like eating, and he went, Cut it out He didn't even raise his head I love that you love that story It's such a classic It's like it speaks to like your humor At a young age Oh please my humor

Always always always But my family was always really really funny I would say my mom was incredibly dry and smart funny And my dad was a big goofball You love my dad I love both your parents He was a big goofball. And, you know, my mom was always very dry and quiet.

And when she opened her mouth, it was always hilarious. And Pop was just like center of attention, big goofball. And I always feel like I kind of got a really good combination of both of them in my sense of humor. Can I also just like say, and I'm sure you've thought about this before, but like a lot of your relationships have been with women who are really quiet and when they have something to say are fucking hilarious. Yeah. You recognize that, right yet. Of course, I recognize that. And that's like what your mom was.

A lot of my relationships, how about every single one of them? No, it's true. Yeah. It's true. Yes, I'm involved with my mother, apparently. Yeah, I just wanted to say. I just wanted to point it out. I'm surprised at how many of her there are out there.

You know, it's like, you know, she read my book. I know. Right. Yeah, yeah. What was it called? Leah's Book of Rules for the World. That's right. Right. She asked for a copy, and I remember I signed it. I gave it to her and I signed it. And I wrote,

Mom, please don't read this whole book. I love you and I gave it to her. She read the whole book. Of course she did. What did she said? What was it? What were you most concerned about in that book for her to read? Honey, there was just so much like sex and shit. Don't you're the fucking vibrator? But you were talking about all that stuff on stage. I know. I know. And she was seeing that. Oh, yes. I think it's easier when it's in the ether. and then it's gone. And then it's a printed thing that's right in front of you. And she can go back and read again

about how, you know, my vibrator in the forward. Remember? Because the book has, it's all drawings of, it's me and I draw myself and I do little cartoons. So me is just a little stick figure

me and I'm holding a vibrator. Right. And then I explain that about, and then I say that I lived in the, I lived in the Secondorf Towers which was right by Union Square and that I had an industrial strength vibrator and that I had to use

have a big orange cord that went out the window and plugged into the union square. The generation generator at Union Square. When I jerk off, the sixth train doesn't run. I feel like I helped you workshop that joke. You did. That's why we used to do shit like that all the time. You did. Yeah.

You did the thing about having the orange thing. The orange core. The orange is circling cord. And then I said when I jerk off the sixth train doesn't run him. And we were both screaming with laughter and I went, that's it. Right in the book. Right in the book. Oh, my God.

Okay, rewind. Okay, so we met when we did on the town at the park literally 28 years ago, meeting you, but first of all, that whole experience for me, and I know for such a big deal because it was how I got my equity card. And for you, it was like, you know, first. How I got my equity card. That's right. I always forget you didn't have your equity card. You didn't have been working and doing other things for, you know, so many years. But that was such a big moment for.

for us. And I remember coming into the rehearsal room, and I'm 21 years old, and I don't know a lot about you at that point. I knew your name. I knew that you had a career. And I walk in, and I'm like, oh, that's my girlfriend? Do you freak out a little bit? I mean, maybe a little bit.

Yeah. You know? I was like, oh, boy, okay. And I think a lot of people know this about you after they meet you. But like, you have an exterior that maybe like people are like, oh, Okay. And then like you were so gooey and sweet and gentle on the inside. You cry at the drop of a hat. I mean, you know, you're, we had an immediate connection. And it was like, that's where the friendship started. Obviously, you know, like here we are like 28 years later, almost 30 years later. And we're still such good friends. But like, what were your initial reactions about this relationship? Oh, I was going to just jump right in on that. I just remember, and I remember talking to my Terry Danes or my manager at the time, and I remember talking to him and I went, okay, so here's my boyfriend.

He's much younger than me. This is his first professional job, and he's fucking fearless. That's, you know, that was my immediate reaction to you. And it wasn't about how you were with me. It was like how you were in the room, how you were reading, how you, you know what I mean, all of that. I remember when there was a choreographer who said something really stupid to you. And I remember sitting in the audience going, that was stupid.

And you came out. He said that you were hiding. That's right. Yeah. And you stepped out and you said, I am not hiding. I was told to stay here and this is where I'm waiting to be told to move. And I thought, wow. This 21-year-old kid just let the choreographer have it.

I'm just like, then I really kind of fell in love with you. I was like, I was already digging you no end. Because you weren't afraid of me. You were like toe to toe. Whatever I did, you responded in kind. It was real acting, you know? And again, a lot of people at that time were intimidated by me, you know. So it was really kind of fab to have you just like be boom right, you know, right there.

I think the one thing. Plus, I also thought you were hilarious. Wow. I was pretty funny in it. You were so funny. I mean, you ran away with the show. Like all the reviews were about you and Mary Testa. But like, I mean, you ran away with that show.

show in a way that, like, was so exciting. I mean, the first, the New York Times review was, like, the first five paragraphs were about you. It was crazy. And, like, where has this person been? The first five and the last two. And it was 20, it was a 21 paragraph review. See, I'll never forget this because, because at the time, I had to count because I was

like, what's going on? Yeah, you got the New York Times and sat on the street corner, as you told me, on the curb, about Southern New York Times and read the review with your manager, right? Is that right? Yeah, well, it started, I couldn't read it. So I was standing there, and I couldn't read it. So I said, Terry started reading it. And this big smile was on his face.

And he got, he was ready, just reading and reading. And then finally he went, you have to read it. You have to read it. So, yeah. So I started to read it. And then it was like, first paragraphs about me, second paragraph, I was, third paragraph about me. By the time I got to the third paragraph, that's when I sat down on the curb.

on 42nd Street, or 43rd, in front of, 41st, in front of the time building. And, you know, just filthy, disgusting curb and actually started kind of crying a little bit while I was reading it. Because, you know, I knew my life was going to change dramatically. Yeah, and it did. It was a huge deal. Yeah. And then John Simon said I was too grotesquely globulous. Right.

Globulus, which I love that you put onto your, like, posters when you did shows. You had all these great reviews about, like, you know, from Brin Brantley and, you know, the Wall Street Journal and all these incredible things. Entertainment Weekly. And then the last one. The last one. The last one. That would find. John Simon.

I love it. I love to embrace a bad review or, you know, just like a dicky review. I mean, that was such a horrible thing to say. Yeah. During that time of when we were doing. I'm out of the town. I, you know, I'm 21 years old, and gay pride happens at the end of every June. Oh, my God.

Last Sunday in June. And we're in the height of rehearsal for Shakespeare in the park for on the town. And you and George C. Wolf, our director, decides to take me to my first gay pride parade. In New York. In New York. Was it your first ever, gay pride or just the one in New York? Ever. I was too scared to go to, though.

Like, I was, you know, I didn't have the confidence. That's interesting. because like I said, you were, to me, fearless. So maybe your confidence only exuded on stage. I had a lot of confidence. Yeah. That's fair to say. But I remember wandering the streets with you and George.

No one knew who the fuck I was. And everyone knew who you and George were. And I remember just being like, wow, this is like, first of all, what it looks like to be famous. Like, my God. Right. I mean, just everyone was so excited to see you. I mean, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, also like, I mean, you two were, you still are, but you were pillars of the, the LGBTQ community as well. And, like, you're walking into the parade and everyone was just so excited to see you.

And I was, it was like the greatest introduction to a New York pride parade. And now I can't even go to the Pride Parade because, like, it's too much. We went that one year, remember? Yeah. Yeah, it was like a few years ago, we decided to try to get Pride again together. I'm like, nope, no, no, we can do this anymore. not doing again. Well, when they legalized gay marriage. Yeah. That was crazy.

It might have been that year. Because, I mean, maybe we felt like the impetus that we had to go out and, like, celebrate. I know that it was, you and I should never walk through a gay neighborhood together. Never again. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. After the break, Leah shares the impact her character, Big Boo from Orange is a New Black, had on the Butch community. And we recall a story that involves Vanessa Williams and an embarrassing group chat mishap. And me, I'm the core to this story.

Okay, be right back. All right, summer is here, and although I'm working a lot in New York City this summer, I am already planning my next little getaway on my day off. I don't know if it's Provincetown, Nantucket, maybe somewhere upstate New York. I love using points for travel, and I'm always looking for ways to earn more. Now, here is a life hack. Pay rent with Bilt to earn flexible, transferable points and unlock exclusive benefits along the way. There is no cost to join, and just by paying rent, you unlock flexible points that could be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, if you will, your next lift ride home, and so much more.

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about Orange is New Black, but like after Orange is New Black, there was another level of like just It's world fame. It's ridiculous. Yeah, it's different. I mean, there was something happened that was like it became bigger. It's watched still by over 200 million people in over 200 countries. Still It's still in the top ten on that folks. It's crazy. It's a great show. Yeah. But I remember even when I was 21 years old and walking into the parade with you in George,

and specifically, I mean, George was obviously a celebrated director on Broadway and a little bit in film. But, like, you, it was different with you because you had had this moment on the Arsenio Hall show where you were the first openly gay comic, I think on American television. On American television, yeah. And that was only a few years before. I always forget, it was only a few years before I met you that that happened. 93. We met 97.

Yeah. It was not that long before. For some reason, I keep thinking it was like way before I met you. It was not that long before I met you. No. And, you know, people really, I think, responded to, you know, obviously your visit, just how visible you were, but also how fearless you were. And I think that was something that not.

Not a lot of people were, I know not a lot of people were doing. I mean, you really were a pioneer in so many ways. I mean, this is, I mean, you look now, we have so many queer comics. Oh, yeah. And comedians and writers and stars and people who were just openly themselves. But in the early 90s, it was not something that was, that was not happening on television. I can do it on one hand, really. Yeah.

In the early 90s. You know what I mean? Yeah. I can tell you exactly who was out. Yeah. I think the most interesting experience for me about the whole thing was that Rupal and I both became famous at basically the same time. At the same year, and at basically the same time. I even talked about Rue in my stand-up on the Arsenio Hall show. It was, you know, I was saying

how hip it was to be gay at the time. And then I say, look at Rupert Paul. You know, she's tall, she's gorgeous, she's beautiful in that dress. I put on a dress. I look like a man in a dress. That was the joke, something like that. But Rue and I basically, toured the world together after that. Every time I would go to any gay pride, Rue was there. And every time I would go to do something, Rue had just been there or Rue was going to be there afterwards.

So Rue put out his book earlier this year and talks about this actual experience. We've talked about it quite a bit. Rue had his own talk show on MTV. Yeah, I remember that. I was his first guest. I don't know that. That's a fact, yeah.

I was his first guest. I remember the first question he asked because the spice girls were really hot. And he said, which spice girl are you? And I said, old spice. And that's what he did. Like a hilarious. Yeah.

So it just, so yeah, I mean, that was one of the, one of the things. But it did put me into a, because the thing about Arsenio, it was seen in every English-speaking country of the world. Yeah. So then I toured every English-speaking country. Yeah, like Arsenio haul at that time just to like put into context was like what, I mean, Fallon is or like Kimmel is now. Yeah. Arsenio was the number one talk show, late night talk show. So he was, he far surpassed Letterman.

He far surpassed Leno. He was it. And he was the younger, you know, this is for the younger, hipper crowd. Right. And he always, he broke a lot of barriers. It wasn't just me. There were a lot of things. And he did stuff like that very quietly.

That's one of the reasons I like Arsenio so very much. And one of the reasons I was so mad the way they fucked him over at the end there. But like, for example, what people don't know. He would go into neighborhoods and buy, you know, condemned houses. He'd fix them up. And then he'd sell them to needy people in the neighborhood for a dollar. That's incredible. Yeah.

So, yeah, I mean, he quietly did a lot of wonderful things that people don't know about. And, like, before I did his show, I mean, I was nervous, obviously, because I'm going to do television. At the time, 20 million people were watching it all over the world. I was really, like, nervous. I mean, my dressing room was a knock on the door. and it's Arsenio. And I know talk show hordes never do this. They never do this.

It's always a producer. He came in. He sat down with me. He was like, go out and tell your truth, be you, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're on this show because we know how good you are. Wow. You know what I mean? Yeah. He was really, really.

And gave you agency and permission. And then I just went out and I kind of tore the roof off, the fucker, as I say. I was shocked by how well I did that. Yeah. And he also came. to bat for you, because I know that the network was nervous about your use of... The lawyers. It was actually the lawyers for Fox. Right. You know, because whatever the FCC says, obviously they have the final call, but it wasn't the FCC. It was the lawyers

trying to, you know, negotiate. Right. And they were nervous about words like Dyke and Queer. Right. So as soon as the show was over, our sooner got called into the, I guess, the editing booth. And it was the lawyers up there. Wow. And they were saying, we don't think we can air this. And he, they gave him the reason why. And Arsenio very strongly said, she's a dyke. And if she wants to call herself a dyke, who the fuck are we to tell her she can't call herself a dyke?

So it's going on. He fought hard for it. And he won. And he won. Yeah. And how empowering must have been for people to hear that on television. And also, but to. And those words can be tricky.

for people, and I think, you know, I've always been in the camp that, like, reclaiming those words, like, we, we need to reclaim those words. It's called reclamation. It's a political tool. We hardly are the first people to do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's been used throughout history. So whenever anybody gives me, I mean, you know me, I don't have a lot of patience. So whenever, anybody says, yeah, Leah, don't call yourself a, don't call yourself a dyke. And I generally respond, well, you sound like a self-loathing fag. So, yeah. You know me. You know that I say so like that.

So it's, you know, we, I actually, in my current stand-up and doing a whole thing about the progression of what we've called ourselves throughout time, starting with homosexual to now. And it gives, and that is a brief history of how we use certain words as political tool within our community. That's kind of what's going on with my new show. So, yeah, I'm with you. Do you want a bite of this? I do want to buy it because I'd like to try it.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Try it, I'm not going to move this. I mean, I'm going to move this for you, but I'm not taking it away. Okay, am I going to use your fork or my fork? I don't care. I'm going to use your fork. Again, I've seen you naked. Okay, well, it's true.

It's true. Again, not just on stage. No, I know. I know. I know. Again, when I was very young. Oh, my God. Everything happened when I was so young. Isn't that delicious?

Mmm. Mmm. It's not great? Mm-hmm. So on the town, written by Betty Kahn, didn't Adolf Green. Who were old? Who were old and, you know, couldn't hear very well. At the end of their life.

That's Adolf. Betty was fine. But, you know, also icons of the... Oh, my God. They wrote everything. You remember when I had my audition, the first audition, and I went through and I met everybody, And I was so shocked, and I was like shaking everybody's hand. And then I got to Betty, and it was like, it was a pleasure to me.

And then when I got to Adolf, I went, oh, Mr. Green, I can't believe I'm meeting you. I thought you were dead. Which I'm sure that's how I got the part. But anyway, so we're at the Gershman Theater. The show's transferred to Broadway, and Betty calmed in Adolf Greenar at Leah Delaria's door. And they're knocking. Remember, my music's playing really fucking loud, always. But also, I think you heard them.

And you're like, just a second. Oh, I did say one, just a second. And Adolf can't hear. Adolf can't hear. Knock, knock, knock, knock, nah, knock. Leah, we want to say, just a second, just a second. Now, the reason you were saying just a second is because you were changing your tampon. No, wait.

I am buck-ass naked. I'm not just changing my tampon. I am buck-ass naked with my tampon. my big butt. Please keep this in. With my big butt towards the door inserting a tampon.

Go. And Adolf opens the door. And Betty's like, oh, Adolf. No, no, no. And Adap just just going, Naked Leia.

Nakedly. Betty goes, Adolf, we can't come in here. Leah's naked. And that's what Adolf we're doing with just two songs. Leah's naked. naked leo oh my god but then remember how everybody kept doing that like people kept walking in when

i was naked they would not i would say just a minute and they would come in finally robert guy was the last one remember robert guy i guess he knocked in he mr guy who was like he knocked and then i said just a minute and he opened the door and came walking in again i was buckass naked and that was it. Don't you remember this? And I walked out into the hall of the Gerswood Theater. So it was the principal's hall basically. So all the principals had a dressing room in this hall. Walked out

and completely naked went, Who hasn't seen me naked? Come on. Who hasn't? Everybody come. I walked down to the stage. Stage management. You want to see me naked? Like, I was just so dumb. I wish you had blocked out. It's like 51st. Just like caught the subway home.

Just bird man. Walk on a subway naked. wants to see me naked. Oh, my God. Apparently, everybody's seeing me naked. Hello, hi. What's crazy, and I think, I don't know if you realize this, but this built, this restaurant is in the building that they use for the exterior of friends.

Oh, yeah. That's right. No, I didn't know that. So that's why there's like so many people doing TikToks outside this window. Outside this window. Because they're like, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bum. Well, why don't they go to?

By the way, I just, I took, I took a video outside. because we had Lisa Kudra on the show, so I sent a video to her. I was like, look at where I'm... You know I'm joking. But I was like... I'm the one that picks her up with that. I said, I said, Leah Delary, ironically,

is on the podcast today. And it's like, and like, we're here at this building. Yeah, we're talking about Fred for a second. I mean, that was like, I remember when I, that was the thing I knew you from. Oh, that's cool. That was only that, not First Wives Club either? No, but I had First Wives Club.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you had like a series of like really very very very, prolific like poppy like guest spots. So lesbian who inappropriately hits on straight women at every function that was my Hollywood niche. That in PE teachers and police lieutenants.

This is what I did on film and television for the, you know, the beginning of my career after I became the first openly gay comic on television in America. Therefore I was very thrilled when I got on the town as you can imagine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like wear a dress and a wig and

pick up men. Yeah. I want to talking a little bit about when you got Orange's New Black because I it's so funny and this happened to me too with a friend of mine who was on Madman and she's like I'm on this new show it's on AMC and I was like oh honey honey oh sweetheart and then it was Madman and I remember thinking the same thing with you because it was on Netflix and no one knew no one knew it was it was it was it was house of cards but it was still like that was still new and then Orange's New Black was the was the next show that they were doing and you're like yeah I'm on this new show for Netflix and I was like oh honey I know I know and but do you remember I was like how can I

say no to it it's Gen G. Cohen you know of course no no no no absolutely and like all the people involved and yeah it's I'm sure the script must have been like the script was fantastic and then every week I would I know I know that I was like calling you and texting you because every week I'd be like holy shit Natasha Leone is in this yeah I remember yeah Laura prepon is coming in this week. Holy, you know, Kate Mowger, I knew right away because she was already cast. And that was the gift that's, like, I have two of these things that are really popular and that everyone knows, Orange is a New Black Hotis, and they both have this kind of unique thing.

Like, in my wildest dreams, did I think I would have so much in common with Kate Mowgru and Vanessa Williams. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So every week there's be like, this is all. this is on it. So there was, it was, there's no way I could say no. And I, I just know, because we were talking about it when it was happening, how meaningful it was for you to be able to play someone who was so you, but with so much, um, so many layers and so much, uh,

there was so much life in, in, in Big Boo. And like, I just, I could see you blossoming as an actor just being able to play all that and playing like the story of the butcher. Yeah. And playing And when they flashed back with their character, how I remember giving these phone calls from you're like, oh, my God, I'm like, I'm losing my mind. What they've written for me is so, so incredible. And it was such a powerful thing to see on television. And I hope that you're really proud of. I am so proud of that. I'm so proud of everything.

To me, it's like, you know, and, you know, these witches come up to me on the street and cry. Like, they cry and they need a hug. and it was like the first time I ever saw myself in a television show and I really it means a lot to me but as a as a

as a butch which is sort of a segment of our queer community we really do have a shared life experience and all of that came out in that story we all went through the thing where our moms are trying to make us wear a dress you know what I mean? We all went you know through that thing where they called

that a costume, some kind of costume, you know, that we were, that we're going to. We've all been despised by our own community, which is, I think, that happens to Nelly Fags and that happens to Bush Dikes, big time, especially at that time. That has, since Orange is a new plaque, since the popularity of Rupal's drag race, and definitely LeBern, that has changed within our community. But before that, we were, we were despise. we were we were looked down upon we were like white you know I used to have that joke about why can't you be like everyone else we're just like everyone else gay people are just like everyone else and that's when the six and a half foot tall dry queen walks by wearing six foot spangled platforms

and opens their butterfly wings right yeah you know and the point is obvious that we're not like everybody else we have our own culture and we should celebrate that and those of us who are here presenting it every every day in a way that maybe you're not comfortable doing you should relax and let them be who they are. We're letting you be who you are. We should all let each other within our community be who we are. Yeah. I think one of the things that is so great about Orange

and what it did for me was that I was working nonstop in front of the camera. I really feel like I can act in front of a camera now, you know? I always felt like, in fact, when I got to POTUS, I kept saying to Stroh, that would be Susan Strohman, Tony winner, choreographer, comedy, genius? I said to Stroh, am I big enough? I was concerned that I wasn't big enough because I'd been on, he's laughing because he saw me in the park.

My God. I was concerned. And here's, you know what you just said? That's fucking what Stro did. She burst out loud and she went, you're fine. You're fine. Yeah. You know, I want to tell the story about this group text that I had with the POTIS cast. Oh my God, this is the best story ever. It's the best story ever. So I was, Very friendly with basically the entire POTUS cast. It was you and Vanessa Williams and Julie White and Susie Nakamura, who was in an episode of Modern Family. Don't forget Rachel. And Rachel Dratch.

You literally knew everyone. Lily. Did you know Lily before that? Not really well, but I became friendly. You didn't know Lily and you didn't know Julian. I didn't know Julianne Hoff, by the way. So anyway, I had this group text because I was doing, take me out across the street. And, you know, I've been texting you back and forth for a while.

Like, it'd been, you know, a three-month run. And you all would respond. Vanessa Williams would never respond. You're all responding. She's never responding. I didn't really notice that. And on your last performance, I text, happy closing you cunts, because that's the first time of the show.

And I went laughing, oh, thank you, thank you, we love you, we love you. And then it says, Vanessa Williams has left the conversation. And so I was like, oh, no. So I call leave. And I was like, Leah, why did Vanessa leave the conversation? I don't know. That was really weird. I'm going to, I'm going to call her.

So I separately text Vanessa. I was like, I am so sorry if I offended you. Like, I was quoting a line from the show. I'm really sorry. I love you. And then this person responds back, this is not Vanessa Williams. Please lose my number. It was wrong number, asshole.

He literally wrote asshole. He said wrong number asshole. And so I, for years, had been texting this range. random person thinking I was talking to Vanessa Williams. So you give me Vanessa's real number and I call her she based times me

from her dressing room. I showed her the thing. I showed her the thing. Like you sent me a picture of it she could not stop laughing. She's like of course she's like first of all that's hilarious. I've never she's like I have not gotten a text message from you ever. Ever. It's so funny. So fucking funny. What else can we talk about? What else do we have to? Remember

I'm going to say this is one of the favorite jokes I've ever written, and it was talking about us on stage, when I was doing a long run at Joe's Pub, and I went, I've, you know, Jessica, Tyler Ferguson and I, we were in on the town, it closed. Yeah. Then Jesse and I did most fabulous story ever told. It closed. I'm pleased to announce that Jesse and I are going into cats.

You remember that? Because cats have been running for 1,700 years. For so long and everybody hated it. So it was just like, that got one of the biggest New York laughs of all time. I really, really, really love that. Speaking of jokes you've written, I do want to like, I do want to touch on it. Yeah, why not? We're going to go to you hall.

Why not, why not like wrap it up with this? I mean, it is truly astonishing to me that we can credit the U-Haul lesbian joke to you. Yeah. I honestly, honestly can't believe. It's such a, it's such as a, igeisty joke. Yeah. And, of course, the companion joke. Right.

What does a lesbian bring on a second date? A you-haul. What does a gay man bring on a second date? What second date? So, yeah, both of them. Pretty in the community. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, it also is, listen, there is so much truth to that.

Oh, hell yes. You know? Why do you think it's funny? It's fucking hilarious. But also, what I love is. is that you know how I wrote it what was you ever heard this story you know I wrote it I used to do this crazy ass thing in my show where people would write down questions on a three by five five card and then I would just pull a three by five card out and whatever the question was I would answer it and some chick

some dyke who thought she was funny was like um I never rushed my teeth I just it was went on and on and I chew with my mouthful I never brush my teeth I don't know how to dress blah blah blah blah blah, blah, it just went on and on and on. And the very last line was, for the first time of my life, I have a second date. What should I bring? And I went, well,

if you're like most lesbians on a second date, you'll bring a U-Haul. And the laugh was so humongous. Yeah, and if you look, if you, Bulldike in a China shop,

it's on Bulldike and a China shop. Yeah, which was my first comedy record. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just, I cut all the, I cut all that out. Right. And just on Bulldike and China shop, you just get, I've got a second date.

What do I bring on a second date? It's incredible. Yeah. I mean, but it's so funny because even, you know, in your recent relationships, I remember when you and Chelsea broke up, you were like, I'm not doing this again. I'm not doing this again, honey. No girlfriend. No more girlfriend.

And then like you meet Dahlia, it was incredible. And then like, I'm giving you like literally six weeks before you guys are moving in together. You're like, oh, honey, she already lives with me. No, that's not true. She basically did live with you already. Well, we were spending all the time together, but she didn't move in. Spending all the time together with her suitcases at your house. Okay, dude, we were together for over a year before I said, move in with me.

But how much stuff did she actually have to move at that point? Oh, you're kidding me right now. She's a Jew. She's a Jew. She had a lot of shit. There was a lot of shit in Staten Island. She's a dupef, a high femme. She didn't even have half of her high heels at my house.

She didn't have a quarter of her red lipstick at my house. You know what I mean? Also, she's, you know, gorgeous. She's gorgeous. Yeah, no, Dahlia is incredible. You guys are getting married this November. Yeah, we're getting, it's a goth wedding. It's on November 22nd because that's the anniversary of the assassination of JFK.

It seemed appropriate for a goth wedding. I'm really excited. It's going to be so much fun. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm your best man. I know. I'm very excited about that, too. And Vanessa's singing.

Vanessa's singing. I'm so excited. I'm just happy it's happening. Yeah. Me too. Me too. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Finally get you married off at the right age of 99. Yeah, or 103 or whatever. 67, bitch. 67. You're 50. I'd be 50 this year. Yeah. Can you believe it?

Yeah. I can't believe it. My oldest friend, literally and figuratively. It's lunacy. It's lunacy. I'm sure if you did this. Why did it take you so fucking long to ask me, you little bit? He knew that was coming.

This episode of Dinners on Me was recorded at Little Owl in New York City's West Village. Next week on Dinners On Me, you know her from True Blood, the good wife, and the titular character on the hit CBS show. El's Beth, titular always sounds so erotic. It's Carrie Preston. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinner's On Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click try free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple podcast to start your free trial today. Dinner's On Me is a production of Sony music entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions.

It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Bear engineered this episode. Hans Dale She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balance Kalasney and Justin McKita.

I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week. Calling all book lovers. The Toronto International Festival of Authors brings you a world of stories all in one place. Discover five days of readings, talks, workshops and more with over 100 authors from around the world, including Rachel Maddow, Ketourou Isaku, and Kieran Desai.

The Toronto International Festival of Authors, October 29th to November 2nd. Details and Tickets at Festivalofauthors.ca.