Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Maitreyi Ramakrishnan – on Beating Out 15,000 For Role in ‘Never Have I Ever’ and Her Mentor Mindy Kaling

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

‘Best of the Best’ star Maitreyi Ramakrishnan joins the show. Over a Kyoto bowl and breakfast burrito, Maitreyi tells me about being cast at 17 in Mindy Kaling’s ‘Never Have I Ever,’ learning about the intense world of collegiate competitive Bollywood dance for Netflix’s ‘Best of the Best’, including brutal rehearsals that made her question her talent. This episode was recorded at Highly Likely in Studio City, Los Angeles.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight we feast! An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees, May I Fly. Hey, it's Jesse. Today on the show, you know her from Never Have I Ever.

She has a new film out on Netflix called Best of the Best. It's my Trey Ramakrishnan. It's funny because in my household, grandma included, my brother included, I am the Asian parent of my household. Where I'm like, why aren't you applying yourself? Why aren't you trying harder? And they're like, can you chill? This is Dinner's On Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

Today I'm at highly likely in Studio City. This neighborhood cafe and restaurant has a few locations around L.A., and it's become a go-to spot during the day for folks working on screenplays that need to be fueled by a good latte and a plate of green chili-killays. By night, it attracts families for burgers, steak-frites, Brandino, and as you could see, even though it's a hip, chill vibe, It's not all vibes. The food is super legit.

And you could thank Kat Turner, the executive chef, who you might recognize from Top Chef. Okay, my trainees should be coming any moment, so let's get to the conversation. I texted Mindy Kaling yesterday. Oh, yeah? I don't know we're super well. She's the best.

It's the greatest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We met when I was doing Modern Family, and she was coming off of the office, and we were sort of overlapping a little bit. And now that we both, We both have kids. We trade, like, tricks and trades.

Like, tricks and trades, but also, like, you know, nanny recommendations. Like, if, like, you know, do you know anyone who might be available? So we've been in contact recently, and I told her that I was sitting down with you, and she was so excited. She speaks so highly of you. She's the go. I'm literally seeing her later today.

Oh, you are? Yeah, yeah. Let her know how it went. But she's, no, she's great. Honestly, like, couldn't have asked for a better first boss, you know? Like, also like, what a flex. My first boss was Mindy Kaling. I know.

Crazy. Never gets old. But, like, she taught me so much of just, like, life and beyond just, like, the acting part, but how to, like, conduct yourself and, like, work ethic. Like, she really instilled that to me in a time where, like, when you are fresh and new to the career and you're literally a sponge susceptible to, like, whatever comes your way, and very fortunate that she was there so that I started on the right foot, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I focused on what matters and didn't get too lost in the sauce of, you know, the big industry that this is, you know? Huge. So, yeah, she's cool. It's huge. She's so down to her. She's so cool. Yeah. When she, so she cast you and never have I ever, which I guess was a semi-autopat graphical for her.

Yeah. But you were super young, right? Yeah, I was 17. Okay. I mean, I moved to New York when I was 17. So I feel like that's like the good age to like jump into something new. Sure, sure, yeah, yeah. So I get you all started with something to drink.

I've heard about this song. salted honey that you have. Yes. And I want to try that in whatever way you recommend. Yeah, I would say a latte. I think it's really good with oatmeal, but what's your preference of- I love oatmeal? Great.

I would do an oatmeal latte with that salted honey. Awesome. Did I do an iced tomato gaspar vanilla latte? Oh, sure. What's your milk preference? Do you have... Okay, thank you. Absolutely.

Awesome. I'll get those copies going for it. Okay. Okay. Sounds good. Excellent. I was telling chef that I love the font that they chose. Like, I feel like it's so...

Yes. I love good fonts. Me too. I love good typography. Yes. Like, good fonts. I love seeing fonts that are used for, like, titles of movies. Yes. Whenever I work on our project, I get very excited to see, like, what's the font? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's like comedic sand, so you're like, oh, no. No, what are you doing? What the hell? You know, come on. I love a good serif. Yes. Serif is very strong. Love it.

I love that you even know that it's called seraph. That means. you actually really do appreciate it. I do. I really, really do. Thank you so much. I think we've made some decisions. For the Kyoto Bowl. The Kyoto Bowl? Yeah, is there any, like, additional preference?

Yeah, you can, what comes with the mushrooms on there. Okay, awesome. You can add avocado. You can really add any cooking you want, chicken, steak, sandwich, and... Okay, could I add a... Can I add sausage to it? Yeah, I have sauces.

You sure can. Thank you that. Let's do it. Okay. Caterful or sausage. Yeah. We got it. Yeah.

I am going to do, I'm going between the breakfast burrito and the green kitchen to the cadets. Ooh. Breakfast burrito is probably the most popular thing we have during the day. Sold. What's your protein tool? You have an avocado, steak, sausage, bacon. Definitely avocado and we eat some sausage too. Oh, avocado and sausage.

Perfect. Awesome. We'll have to have to go out with just a moment. Thank you. Wait, now, can anyone remember what we were talking about before all this happened with food? Mindy, um, acting experience. Oh, acting experience. Yeah, I went to, like, a local...

Young minds. I went to, like, a local public high school. Um, and I just did, like, theater at that school of, like, 700 kids. Okay. And it was the kind of situation where it wasn't about, like, if you would get a role, it's about how many roles you would get. Sure. Because there's just not enough people. Yeah.

Like, we always made sure that we picked a musical that also had more women in it because we didn't have a lot of guys. We had to be really specific. This is classic high school. Yeah. Like, there's no... Problems with theater. Yeah. Like, our lecture hall was so small.

Like, our theater is the size is just like this restaurant, like the stage, you know? Yeah. That's one of those. And loved it because... Did you do musicals or... Musicals and plays. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

So I did like footloose in Chicago. I was Val McKellie. I thought that would be the peak of my career. It wasn't. It wasn't, but that's also amazing. Right? Kind of iconic. I feel like I'm making great.

Kind of. You know? I sat next to Renee Zellweger once at a dinner party and she was going to see her friends, no, her sons, one of her kids.

I can't remember if she has a son or daughter or both, but they were in a production of Chicago. So she was going to like watch this high school production of Chicago. Can you imagine Renee Zellweger who like won or was on me

for an Oscar for Chicago? in the audience while you're in Chicago. Wow. I wonder if the kids, the other kids knew the... I know, I know. I kind of hope they did it. I hope they did it. That's just kind of...

But Vell McCulley, that's very impressive. Okay, so put loose, filma Kelly. Yeah. So we did that. And then I honestly just only did after school theater because I wasn't a sports kid. Me either. And I needed something to do after school.

Like, I couldn't run. I don't sports. So I was like, all right, I want to do something after school to be a part of something, you know? contributes. And then, yeah, the rest was history. My best friend found Mindy's open, like, casting call tweet for whenever have I ever and sent it to me and was like, yo, bro, let's do this. And then I was ready to tell them like, no, man, like, I don't want to do this. And they were like,

no, no, no, like, let's do it. It'll be fun. And honestly, I just missed hanging out with my best friend. So that was it. The rest of history. I mean, it's incredibly, I mean, what elite. Yeah, yeah. No one in my family is in the biz at all in any aspect. What do your parents do? They're union reps. They wrap like, you know, personal service workers and nurses and, like, just, you know, there were just a good family of socialists. I kind of come from, like, it's the same background.

My mom was an RN. And my dad was a microbiologist. So it's, you know, like, completely different worlds. Yeah, so different. I mean, it is such a leap for you to, like, obviously submit a tape for something. For, like, a joke. Yeah. Not even like a joke, but just like, there was no.

We tried. Like, don't get me wrong. We weren't, like, making fun of it. Right. But you had no. investment in it. No expectation. No, but you weren't like super invested in it. Like, it wasn't something that if you didn't get, you didn't get it, it would have been sad at all. I was like truly forgot about it after you said to know. I only was like, I'm doing this to hang out

with my friends. Right. And that is it. Yeah, we like got to Morton's after all today and I saw them at school the next day. And so then like how long after you sent that tape in? A week later, they said like, hey, can you send us more videos? And then I was like, okay, so I guess everyone gets round two. Okay. Oh, really? I had no way. concept of what a callback is. Like, I had to Google what a self-tape and a slate was in the first place. So I was like, oh, everyone gets like a round two. That's like easy, right?

Because I'm thinking, like, in my high school, everyone gets a role. Right, right, right, right. So, like, this is nothing. It's just the next step. Yeah, next step. And then I was like, hey, yo, to my buddy. I'm like, yo, like, you down and do it again. They're like, yeah, sure, sure.

Wait, did your friend also submit? We did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And were they also asked to do more? No. And that's why I knew they were a real one. Because as soon as they said, hey, they want me to do more tapes, their first question was, yo, when are we doing?

So they might be able to do it. So they knew that they hadn't made it to the next step. Yeah, they didn't care. They didn't care. They were like, yo, Madrid, let's go. Like, when are we going to do your next tape? So there's still my best to you today. We truly are like, you know, ride or not.

That's so sweet. Right? I was like, you're not bitter at all. You're just like, yo, this is cool. Like, let's try again. That is very sweet. And then a week later, they like, they called to say, like, you know, can you fly out to L.A.

And then a week later, they asked him to fly out one more time. And that was when I found out, it was down to me and one other person. And before that, I was like, yo, free trip to L.A. My dad and I were going to go do a bus tour of celebrity homes. What did you do? I did a bus tour of celebrity home. Like, actually. And they did, like, the Chinese theater.

Don't you just, like, see, like, bushes? Because, like, everyone's behind dates. Yeah, pretty much. But it was just cool. I was like, I'm on his bus. I got headphones. Someone's talking to me about, like, I don't know, movies that I don't know. Chaparos house.

Yeah, and I'm like, okay, cool, I guess. I don't know. I tried in and out. I thought it was overrated. It's my big. Yeah. But I get the, it's a hot take. I get the concept.

Yeah. It's like, you know, 2 a.m. It's very L. It's after the after party. It's after the Oscars. I get it. I get that. But is it the best burger?

Let's relax. Yeah. Don't tell me, no, but my tree, you have to have the animal fries. If you have to tell me, I have to order something that's not on the menu to prove that it's good. It's good. Yeah. We have a problem.

I agree. We have a problem. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, My Cherry talks about the surreal experience of beating out 15,000 other people for the main role of Davy and Mindy Kaling's Netflix show, Never Have I Ever.

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so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow, AI Cloud ERP for any size business. And we're back with more dinners on me. Yeah, no. I found out it was done to me and one other girl, and the rest was history. And then I found out that I beat out 15,000 people around the world.

I mean, you were totally in a bubble, like you didn't know about this knowledge. There was no, you had no concept of how why this casting thing went. And I switched my mindset though in the last round, like the last round of auditions when it was down to me and one other person. Yeah, then did you like desperately want it? But not like, oh, I desperately want this. But I want to be able to go home and say that I tried my best.

You know, because I don't like being that person that like says, oh, I didn't even want it anyway. Yeah, yeah. But like, I really did. You know, like, I want to be like, oh, I like lost. But I really did try my best. So I realized, oh, I'm actually very close to this. I have to make sure I do everything possible to not goof this up

because I don't want to live with regret. That's my biggest fear in life, regret, you know? So, yeah. I mean, you were, I think for your first role, you were kind of asked to thread a really tricky needle because your character, and never have I ever, like she, she's a little deceitful, especially in the first few episodes. It's like, you know, she's telling lies to her best friends.

Yeah, she was a shady. She's trying to, like, basically, like, not catfish this guy, but she's like, you know, she's being super aggressive. Yeah. And, like, it's, it's, I mean. She's a little selfish and self-centered in her agenda. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But you love her and you see why she's doing that and you root for her. And, you know, I think that that, sure, some of it's in the writing, but that only goes so far. and the rest of it is up to you. And you just did it so beautifully. I appreciate that. Thank you. I think at the time I was like,

Mindy and Lang would always say like, no, you need like a charismatic person to portray such a character. And I thought they were just being nice. I was like, okay, that's nice. Like Lang would always say like, no, you have a comedic timing that cannot be taught.

And I was like, ah, you're just being nice. I didn't understand what that meant until I saw some other actors. Yeah. Could you see it's not being done well? Oh. And do you think, no, you should say it like this? Yeah, you know, literally in my brain, I was like, why did you do that?

That's not what's written on the page. Like, don't you see, like, the pattern and the rhythm that I see? And I didn't realize that that's what Lang and Mindy were talking about when I was younger. I generally did just think, oh, they're being nice to me. They're being nice to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I really do think a big part of Never Have I Ever's charm is the writing. I have to give to the writers.

I think they crushed it, killed it, you know, did the thing. but yeah I guess I'll give myself a little pat on the back I struggle to give myself the compliment but I will take Mindy's words if she were here she would say no my tree is very charismatic this feels like weird to even say my tray is charismatic and she helps bring the charm to Davy

that makes you root for her and I go man I don't know I'm just here I just do look but that's our job is you know actors is to elevate the material from the page and like you know it's not to discredit the right writing, but you know, we do have to like lift it and make it believable. True, true, true, true.

So, you know, I think knowing that you have that power to do that and like that you're good at it, it's, yeah, own it. I mean, I get again, now I'm getting to play on this like new movie that I have, Fusted the Best, this dance movie. I'm also playing, again, a character, different to Davey, very different in personality and the way they would approach a situation, but also a messy girl that's complicated and nuance and has bad choices at times, but even still, you're rooting for her. Right.

And I think this is my thing. Like, I get away with doing bad mistakes and making bad choices. And somehow people are like, eh, it's okay, it's okay, turn a blind eye. I don't know, man. I don't know. I just, I don't know. I show up. It's just such a weird thing to say, like, oh, I have charm.

Well, like the most uncharring thing. We got to know our superpowers, you know. Very true. For the best of the best, this new film that you're promoting on Netflix. Wait, it's about collegiate competitive Bollywood? Yeah. Is that an actual... Yes, it is.

It's like a huge thing. So basically in a lot of different colleges and universities, there are these dance teams that are focused on what they call Bollywood dance, which doesn't encapsulate just Bollywood, which refers to Indian Hindi-speaking cinema. It also incorporates songs from Tollywood, which is Telugu cinema, Colliewood, which is Thummel Cinema. But it is an amalgamation of a bunch of different songs and cultures and languages

and dance styles all across, you know, South Asia. And these teams compete to each other on a national level. And it is intense. It is some real step up, bring it on, level competition. And the drama is juicy. The, like, you know, different, like, things. like pages that come out of it because each team has their own Instagram

promoting their, you know, show and all that. And then they start beefing. I learned a lot. I learned a lot. I went down the deep end, trying to really understand this world. I mean, I think any sort of competitive world in yours is college, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like college or high school.

Oh, okay. Hi. This is Chef Turner. Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you. This is amazing. Got your breakfast grader. Thank you. And I've got a side of sausage for you as well. Thank you.

Thank you. It's delicious. Appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thanks, chef. It looks good. Noted. Normally the chef doesn't come out and give us food.

It's only because of you. You're special. Yeah. But I feel like the world of like collegiate competition is so ripe for, like, did you watch cheer? I actually did watch cheer because of prepping for this. Yes, yeah. I went on, I did go on a little bit. of all these different movies.

For sure. But it is such a like intense world where just kind of like high school shows, this is like the only world that matters. Right. You know, like everything is so high stakes. Right. And then you put on top of college a literal competition

where there's performance, there's a live element to it. It's just such a good setting for a movie, you know, and stories. Yeah. So. Absolutely. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back,

my churi talks. about the intense dance training she took on for Netflix's best of the best, pushing her body beyond what she thought she could do, and why learning to embrace failure has become such an important part of her life. Okay, be right back. When it comes to recycling, safety first. Putting hazardous materials like batteries in your recycling can cause serious harm to workers and even start fires at facilities.

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I assumed you did a lot of the Bollywood dancing. Yeah, we did a lot. Well, the movie has, like, you know, typical, like, Bollywood, like, filmy-style dance, which is what you would see in a typical Bollywood film. Uh-huh. But then we also had to do Berenatian and Kathuk

and Garba. and like the Strybongra and just all these other styles of South Asian dance because there's so many like culturally dependent. But then we also did things like hip-hop and contemporary and like jazz funk and like quick style and all these like heels classes because the world of collegiate Bollywood dance fusions everything together. That's why when we say like Bollywood dance, it's such a big umbrella term but it's like the best word, unfortunately, for what it is.

But it's so much more. I was doing like classes learning like about the origins of crumb. Wow. Yeah. And it was very, very fascinating. And as someone who did not grow up dancing, it felt like a real gift to be able to learn so much from some of the best in the biz. Because there's amazing talent here in L.A.

And I was doing six dance classes a day, six days a week. It was absolutely brutal. of first couple of weeks, I'm not gonna lie, I was like kind of crashing out in my hotel but I was just sad as someone who never worked out was not a sports kid like my muscles were just not there

and it's like the worst part of going to the gym like you just don't have the stamina and I was getting really mad at myself because I always rely on my brain like I know my biggest asset is my brain my memory like I'm always very sharp and perceptive but what was pissing me off is that I would be in these

like you know rehearsals in these different studios and my brain could like recall the moves. And if you wanted, like, I could draw out the moves for you and the counts. And my music brain was kicking in because I play, like, instruments. So I understood the musicality. I could write out to you the choreography and tell you what it is. Like intellectually, yeah. But my body could not keep up for those first couple of weeks.

And that was a real, like, make it or break it moment for me. And then after these dance classes, I would go back to my hotel. I would keep practicing just like what I learned. that day, I would sit in like a low, what it's called an Aramundi, which is a low squat in like this one traditional style dance of Berdanatium to like train my quads just to build up my strength and my stamina. I learned so much about nutrition so that I was like, okay, I actually have to like eat properly. I can't just like raw dog eat whatever I want to learn about protein. Yeah. Okay. And then we like surpassed it. Like we made the breaking point. We overcame

and then now I honestly feel very happy with like how the movie looks and all the work that I did and I'm very proud of myself. You should be, yeah. Because it was just something that I never would have done before. I mean, that's, I love hearing that it's such a early stage of your career because you have such a big career ahead of you that you are doing things that are scaring you because that's something I feel takes a long time to learn.

You know, when I was a young performer, I would do things that I knew I was good. good at all the time. Like I would stay in that lane. Fair. I would stay in my lane. I would do the things I knew I could do. And as someone who's older now and has had years behind me, like, I'm always looking for things that scare me because I know if I'm not scared, then it's probably not going to, first of all, help me grow as a person. But also, like, I want to evolve as an artist and I want to show people that I can do these other things. And sometimes I don't know if I can do them. But like, I have to at least try and fail. I mean, I just finished doing this production of

Jesus Christ Superstar in London. Okay, awesome. I was only in it for three weeks. I was King Herod, and I have one song. Amazing. Spunning. Yeah, so it's like, you know, I come in midway through Acts 2. And so there's this, you know, a lot of buildup and time backstage.

Yeah. And then you have literally three and a half minutes on stage. And it's a great three and a half minutes, but, you know, it's fast. And for the first, like, week, I was like, I'm not good. I'm not good in this. No. This is, I'm kind of a bummer. Like, this could be anyone doing this.

Like, I'm bringing nothing special to this. And, I mean, I think there was a little truth behind it. But, like, I scared myself into, like, digging deeper and figuring out more stuff. And, you know, I don't know. I mean, I feel like I got better. Yeah. And, you know, I could feel, like, responses from the audience. It's like, okay, I feel like I'm now connecting with something.

But, you know, it was a whole process. And, like, it was scary because I was like, I'm being trusted to do this thing that I feel like I'm not doing a great job at. Real. And, you know, it's, it's tricky. I mean, like, with theater, obviously, like, I was figuring it out in front of an audience. Yeah. You know, with something like, you know, that you're doing it with this movie. It was like, you know, you figured that on a rehearsal before you, before a camera even starts.

But still, it's like. It's still a lot. No, it is. Yeah. Yeah. To put yourself out. is I think just really impressive. And I think it's a really cool thing

that you should be very, very proud of. It's a big ethos of my life, especially getting into this business back when I was 17. Because I used to be the same kind of way of, like, I wouldn't answer a question in class if I wasn't 150% sure I was correct. I did not want to be wrong and I didn't want to fail and I did not like being bad at something.

But like I was someone who... Do you think that comes from having parents who are like... Oh, my parents are the complete opposite. Oh, really? My parents are like, why are you trying so hard? Yeah, they're like the stereotypical non-Asian parent. It's funny because in my household, grandma included, my brother included,

I am the Asian parent of my household where I'm like, why aren't you applying yourself? Why aren't you trying harder? And they're like, can you chill? Can you like literally relax? When I went back to university to like get my degree, my mom would constantly say to me, like, why are you still slaving away at this essay?

She's get degrees. Yeah. No one cares if you get on. or not. Like literally, you know you have a whole career, right, my trait? And I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm not even trying. Meanwhile, I'm like making sure every citation is perfect on this essay. Like, that's me.

Why did you end up studying? Human rights and equity studies. I went back to, it was going to be theater and then never have I ever happened. And then I was like, okay, I have the amazing opportunity to do a degree in something that I'm purely passionate about, which is such a privilege because obviously uni is not chief. And most people end up trying to go to university for a feasible. job and a realistic career. And if we all went to university for something that we're just passionate about, the world would be very different. But I had this amazing privilege of like being able to go to

school for something I'm just passionate about. So I always switched it to human rights and equity studies and graduated last October. Congratulations? That's incredible. Do you, what do you think you want to do you want to do something with it or? No, just continue to be a decent human band. That's, well, I mean, that's huge. No, okay, Jesse, I'm going to be really honest with you. Okay. A big reason why I went back to school. It was ego. Okay. I wanted to stick it. I wanted to to the people who are so insignificant in my life, but the ones that were like, oh, my tree just does like little TV shows

and like whatever, like, okay. The people who still find value in such credits as a degree or like getting a house or those things, which yet again are awesome, but I don't think are the be all and all of someone's worth. Right. You know, I think being a good person is ultimately the biggest worth you can have.

But I wanted to stick it to those people who just saw me as like, oh, my, she's doing her fun thing. And I was like, oh, yeah, I did, you know, be a lead of a TV show and a movie and also got a degree with honors in human rights and equity studies, actually. And then to be also, like, to have the degree and literally be in moments like this where in press, people would say, wow, you're like the Asian, the South Asian dream of, like, so successful and you have a degree.

And then I get to say, actually, you don't always need a degree. Not everyone needs to go to school. It's okay. universities just a privatized institution that's more there to take your money than to educate you or make you better in society. If you want to learn about human rights and equity studies, you actually don't need a degree at all.

You just need to pick up a book. Go start Googling and reading articles beyond the headlines. Go have a conversation with someone. Go get engaged in your community. Go to a protest. Go live your life. And have a conversation. Have a dinner conversation with people. I do feel like human rights right now.

it's such a hot topic and I feel like it's having a passion around that is it's very comforting to me. Yeah, 100%. Like when people were like, oh, why did you want a degree in human rights and equity studies? I'm like, well, have you seen the world today? It's not hot. It's not great. But I really just wanted to get it so that I could have conversations with people as I already were before my degree. and to be able to say

if you need my credentials, here it is. But I'm telling you that I didn't need to have this credential to have anything that I'm saying be less powerful or valid for the fact that this is the state of the world and we are not where we should be

with making sure that people are protected and safe on a human rights basis. So if you want the credential, it's there. But I don't need it. That's for you to feel validated with what I'm saying. Right. Otherwise, yeah, I am also just someone who can speak to these things, just as so many young youth are,

who are just going out there out and about who are in high school and are just passionate about whatever cause they are, you know? Yeah. So yeah, it really was just an ego thing. For me, it really is just a piece of paper, but I am proud of myself that at any moment I could have just not done it. Yeah. But I saw it through.

I saw it through to the end. When I was doing modern family, I always felt a lot of pressure around of, you know, being a part of a gay couple on television in a very successful show, I've talked about this before, but like wild pressure from the gay community to sort of represent all.

And, you know, that was something I felt pressure with even in my late 30s, mid-40s when I was doing that show. I've heard you talk about how you felt, you know, the inability to represent an entire community, especially with Never Have I Ever. But, I mean, what I'm so fascinated with is

that you had that pressure at the age of, you know, before you were even in your 20s. And just even, like, being able to flag that pressure, I think is really intuitive and impressive. But, I mean, talk to me a little bit about, like, how you navigated

that. Honestly, shout out to Mindy. Yet again, what a gift of the first boss. Because truly in the beginning, it was a lot. Like, I was overwhelmed. Because press didn't overwhelm me. Like, answering questions, I never, and still to this day, I've never had a question that I was like,

I don't know how to answer. I'm a yapper. I can talk to a rock. It's cool. But what I wasn't ready for was to be perceived by so many people who do not know me and know me in Justice One. way and just everyone's opinions. And I was like, oh, okay, all right. And then when you get like online people, or just people in general who are racists and homophones and just nasty, awful,

you know, people that are filled with bigotry, when they're hating on me because I have my pronouns in my bio, I'm like, okay, cool. Like, wompom. All right, you're just transphobic, like literally whatever. Like, he's shown me who you're not. Oh, no. Pronouns scare you. Oh, like, all right. Cry harder. If you're going to call me like a monkey, because of my arm hair on Time magazine. Okay. Who's on Time magazine at the age of 18 and who's not? Right.

Sorry. Right. Like, that I don't care. But when it comes from your own community, that hurts. Because it's like, wait, but like I'm doing this for y'all. Like, I'm trying to, like, you know, be the best representation I possibly can be. Like, I'm always mindful of, like, how brown girls are being represented. And I'm always trying to do it in a way that respects myself.

And then shouldn't that be good? and that was a really big mind fuck, to be honest. And Mindy was the one who really helped me understand that your community will be your biggest supporters and the loudest supporters, but they also can be some of the loudest critiques, you know? And that sucks because you're like, I'm doing this for you.

And it dawned on me in that conversation that A, in general, negative comments always feels so much heavier than positive comments. It's like that whole like five to one ratio or whatever. So I learned that. And I was like, okay. But they're still negative and they suck. I used to like scroll past so many positive comments to find a negative one.

Yeah. I do the same thing. Exactly. It's messed up. It's so like psychologically messed up. To like undervalue all those. Yes. Yes.

And I just like completely ignore all these positive ones. Right? And they're really nice, positive kind like comments that should outweigh this negative one. So there's that. Then realize. like, but I'm doing this for the South Asian community. I'm trying to best represent the Tamil community and, you know, only you spread positivity.

And then I realized I need to stop doing that. Like, first of all, no. When was my job to represent the whole community? My job is to represent my trades life, which is one timeline of now 24 years. And all I can do is represent what I know authentically. And hopefully those who can relate to it can join, you know, join me on my journey and they feel seen and that's great. And if you can't, I wish you well, truly.

Don't come at my throat though, but I wish you well. And at first when I would see those like negative comments, I did, yes, take it personally. But it was a big realization that what helped me get to this idea is realizing the only reason some of these like, you know, South Asians is, these brown girlies, these thumb old girls, who are upset at me, honestly are actually just sad because, you know, they saw that this show was going to happen, right? I'm 17-year-olds, they thought the show was,

they were excited that the show was going to happen, and a part of them did hope that this would be the one. You know, this would be the one that they say, oh, my God, this is my favorite show. Oh, my God, this is going to be my Halloween costume for the next however many years. Oh, my God, this is, I got to buy merch for it, this is my thing.

And then they watched it, and they didn't resonate with it. And that's okay. that actually has nothing to do with me. Right. And I actually feel for them because, yeah, I see things that I'm like, oh, this one isn't for me. Bummer. I don't feel the need to then go spread hate online.

That's weird. I think it takes a weird kind of person to DM someone, like a death threat. Like, that's wild. But I feel for those people that I'm like, oh, you just wanted this to be the one. And I'm sorry that it's not. But hopefully it'll be the next one. And I don't mean the next one of mine, of someone's out there.

you know, because we all deserve to be seen. So I think having that empathy for the haters helped. And then also being like, yeah, wait, never mind. I literally don't care. Yeah. I literally don't care. My life is awesome. I got to represent myself.

I cannot be worried about people that I will never meet and who don't actually care for me and don't actually know me. So that's sad. Sorry, that was a long answer. No, it's a beautifully set. I feel like it also holds accountability for having more stories about a community. Yes. You know, don't put the pressure of,

telling the story of a community on just a few actors or a few characters or a few stories. Like, it's bigger than that. And there's so much nuance within that. So, you know, I mean, like, so many stories about, like, you know, that the South Asian characters are, like, about immigration and, like, feeling other. And, like, I'm sure that's why, you know,

this dance competition show that best of best is so interesting because it's also about friendship and being competitive and, like, wanting to be the top. of like this other thing that has nothing to do with so many other things like immigration. Yes, exactly. But, you know, they are entwined but it's like not, doesn't float to the top

of the issues. And one thing I'm really excited about Best of the Best 2 in specific is that there's so many different round people in one movie who are not blood related. Yeah. Like it's just a bunch of brown kids in this, you know, college, collegiate, Bollywood dance group at UCLA and they're just dancing and they're not related, they're not, you know,

a familial like casting if that makes sense and there's so many different personality types that that's just such a big boom that more people can relate to yeah I'm so happy you fit me into your schedule I know you're doing like a million things no what thank you for like having me this is truly like so fun I was very excited I got to feed you before you have the long-damp press exactly yeah otherwise I wouldn't be eating to be very honest I'd be in like workhorse mode and this was actually really freaking good I'm adding this to I'm going to come back for that next time. This is nice.

This place is great. It's really chill. I love it. This episode of Dinners On Me was recorded at highly likely in Studio City, Los Angeles. Next week on Dinner's On Me. You know him from The White Lotus, Silo and Reality Bites, and he's starring in the Hulu series Chad Powers, now out with its second season. It's Steve's On. We'll talk about his decisions to raise his kid outside the Hollywood bubble in Kentucky, and what it's been like to work alongside his daughter in a project very,

personal to him, plus some behind-the-scenes tidbits about filming that first season of the White Lotus. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinner's On Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, they'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click try free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinner's On Me is a production of Sony music entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch.

Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Baer engineered this episode. Hans Dale She composed our theme music. Special thanks to Tamika Balanced Kalasni and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.