Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Meredith Marks — on revealing marital ups and downs on RHOSLC and how she disengages from the drama

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

‘Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’ star Meredith Marks. Over arugula salad, we hear her iconic relationship origin story with husband Seth Marks, her kids’ reaction to mom on reality TV, and what she’s learned to accept and not accept when it comes to drama with her costars. Plus, she shares what would lead her to leave the franchise. This episode was recorded at Bottega Louie in West Hollywood, CA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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look for Zell in your banking app or head to Zell.com to learn more. Hi, it's Jesse. Today on the show, she's a DJ, a caviar connoisseur, and a real housewife of Salt Lake City. It's Meredith Marks. My daughter, Gay, keeps the assistance from me because she's worried that I'm going to overwhelm them and let me. So I have to run everything through her, and she delegates. Are you serious? I love that.

This is Dinner's On Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Okay. pressure is on for me today. I have, and it was only a matter of time, you guys, we have our very first Real Housewife from the Real Housewife franchise on the show today. I'm very excited that it's Meredith Marks, who I met at a mutual friend's birthday party a few months ago in Washington, D.C. She was absolutely lovely, and I sat between her and her husband, Seth, and I had the greatest time with her. So I'm excited to continue our conversation here at Bataga Louis and West Hollywood. The spot is as stylish and lively as my guest is. Now, if you've been here, you know it's

part restaurant, part patisserie, part C&BC and hangout. It has marble floors, colorful macarons, the kind of place that has a buzz that makes you feel like you're in New York City or Paris. It's the perfect place for Meredith Marks, who's elegant, polished. and always has an eye for design. And just like her jewelry, everything here feels like it's effortless luxury, from the light-filled dining room to cocktails that look almost too good to drink.

And since Meredith was out DJing and WeHo just last night, it feels right that we're just keeping things going on the same block that she was at until 1 o'clock in the morning last night. All right, I think she's walking in. Oh, my God, these boots are fabulous. Okay, check out my Instagram. You got to see this look.

Let's get to the conversation. You were just your last night. You were like next door. I know. I realized that I was playing up. I was like, oh gosh, right back there. Were you at beaches? You were beaches last night, DJ?

Yes. It was so fun. Thanks for the invite, by the way. It was so fun. Was it? But I'm like wiped out just because like it takes so long time. Not like I, all I wanted to do is go home and go to bed, but like you're so wired up.

You can't fall asleep. Sure. Yeah, you have the adrenaline. That's how I am after I do a, you know, I do theater, and that's how I am after a show. I can't, like your adrenaline that literally is coursing through your veins. Uh-huh. Do people just go insane when you're there?

It was a wild. Everyone was just all revved up and excited last night. It was so fun. It's like throwing a party every day, you know? Yeah. It's just fun. Super, super fun. Did it do your kids come?

Yeah, Brooks and Chloe both came. Brooks surprised me. He wasn't supposed to be in town. And he flew in last minute. Oh, that's sweet. And yeah, it was really, it flew out first thing this morning. So it was really a pain for him to be bothered. And he did, which was really, really nice.

Hi, how are you? Hi, how's it going? I'm great. How are you? George, I'll be your server today. Fabulous. This is Meredith. Pleasure to meet you.

Can I get you guys started away anything to drink? Some coffee, maybe. What's thinking? I would maybe have a cappuccino That would work 2% would be great, thank you Has this some sparkling water Yeah, we have totally green though

Yeah, that's great If you guys want to maybe a start off with a starter I do recommend our cordobella fries They're king mushroom fries with parmesan batter and basilioly They're very good if you like mushrooms Yeah, bring them out Yeah Let's do it

yeah um no but i was sitting next to you at our mutual friend larry millstein's birthday party which felt like a wedding am i wrong it was pretty spectacular it was pretty spectacular in washington dc he had all these people it was a destination birthday a destination 40th was it was his 30th my god i think everyone's my age and i'm 50 this year okay okay well i'm still older than you okay it's not a competition but i i do know that you're born a little bit earlier than me just Just a few years. So, yeah, we're in Washington, D.C., and I'm sat between you and your husband, Seth. And I am just having a lovely conversation with you.

I'm like, so what do you do? And you're like, well, and I love it when people have asked me this because they have no idea. Like, the very few people who don't know that I was on modern family and they don't know I'm an actor, I really enjoy meeting people who have no perception of me. I don't know how you respond to that. but like I was like I had no idea what you and you're like well I have a I have a jewelry company and I'm I have this caviar company and then I was out talking to your husband and I was sort of like slowly putting things together I was like oh I think and I got confirmation from someone else so I was like yeah you were part of the Real Housewives franchise and when I told some of my friends are like oh not only did you like sit next to like one of the real housewives of Salt Lake City but it's like the cast member that we all love so much love that so I love that so I I mean, I felt very privileged that I got to sit between you and Seth, and I had a lovely time talking with both of you and learning about your family.

Such an amazing night. But what was so funny is at one point, I said, where are you from? And he said, why did you ask me that? And I said, are you, did you, like, did you spend any time in England? And you're like, oh, no, when I drink, I start to get a little bit of a British accent. Always get a little British with the alcohol. And I was like, well, I don't hear it too much. It's just like really light.

And you're like, yeah, well, I haven't really started. yet. Yeah, I probably had a couple of sips. And then like two hours later, you like basically came up to me like Dame, you know, Maggie Smith. And I was like, oh, here she is. It is the weirdest thing. I sometimes pick it up anyway, but usually that's when I'm around people are English. Right. Yeah, I don't know. It's very odd. I do that with every accent, though. Like when I'm with my friends from the South, I start to pick up a southern draw.

Very strange. It's not normal. Yeah, it's so funny. It's just so funny. So you hadn't watched any of the Real Housewives before being asked to be a part of the franchise? Before being asked, no. Once I knew what I was going on, I watched one episode from all the different cities, thinking, like, I don't know what we're walking into. I hear they're all different. So I didn't, like, get the story arc.

I didn't get, you know, the full picture. I was like, this is not a big deal, you know, because you don't understand really the full story. Right, the whole arc of a season. I was just a deer in headlights. I mean, I had no clue what I was getting involved in. I remember I left our first all cast, and it was Jen Shaw had thrown a birthday party for me, and she and Mary got into this screaming fight at the party in her bedroom.

And I went home to my kids, and they were like, how was it? How did it go? Da-da-da-da. Oh, my gosh, you guys are never going to believe. leave this. They were like, what, what? I said, Mary and Jen were fighting and they were yelling at each other and cameras were there filming it. And they were like, yeah, mom, that's the show. That's what the show is. Were they, were you were kids fans of the show? Yeah, they totally had watched. They knew exactly what I was getting involved in. Right.

I mean, how did you get approached? You were already living in Salt Lake City when you were approached to do this. Because I know you had, you were a transplant from Chicago, right? Correct. We had been in Chicago, then we were in Salt Lake. Then we were part-time between both for a while. And I really, my friend who owns my favorite restaurant in Park City handle, her husband went to college with one of the producers. And she was like, oh, well, you talk to them. I didn't know it was being cast.

I thought it was because I had a store on Main Street. They wanted to learn a little bit more about, like, Utah and what to do there. I didn't know it was Housewives at that point either. Like, we didn't know anything. I didn't know anything. They just said they're doing a reality show here. Will you talk to them? I said, sure, why not?

I had no idea. That's how it happened? Yeah. You didn't know that it was housewives? I didn't know it was housewives. I didn't know I was being cast. Like, I thought they were just trying to get ideas for the show and we're looking to talk to people in Utah. Right.

And then, like, I got on this long call and we were chit-chatting about all kinds of stuff for Utah. And then he's like, okay, well, can we set up a Skype? and I said, oh, and that's when it resonated. I'm like, okay, I get it. I understand what's happening here now. Because I don't think people, you know, this was pre-COVID. It was not normal to get on a Zoom or a Skype unless it was like a reason. Right.

It's like, okay, I got you. Did you know any of the other women who were being courted for the other roles? Well, so Lisa was on that text with me. It was a text between. Megan, the owner of the restaurant, and me and Lee, sit together. Right. So, yeah, obviously, I knew her.

And then it kind of snowballed from there, you know, she and I both made a couple of, she made a lot of suggestions. I made a couple of suggestions of other people. She's much more well-networked in Utah than I am. Right. And then, you know, they took people from that and their suggestions, et cetera, et cetera, and got us all put together.

I mean, what is, what, I can only imagine what that must be like to have all those. people in your space. I mean, is it something that feels invasive? Or do you really truly forget about it? Generally, no. Occasionally, yes. But generally, no.

I mean, it's not terribly invasive. No, it doesn't feel, you know, because they're not leaving things there. Like if we had cameras in our homes 24-7, like we did on our below-deck crossover this year, that's another story. That's tough. Right.

That I don't know if I could really do for the long haul. Because that's like a 24-hour, like Big Brother type of. Yeah. And that was just a couple nights. And it was a lot. Because you're thinking, like, I have to change and, you know, clothes. Well, how does that work? Well, we go in the bathroom.

Right. But, like, you know, you don't want to forget. I would be horrified. I'd be so embarrassed. Yeah. You know? Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Meredith tells me,

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below-deck moment. Kind of, kind of not. Yeah, our season's going to be interesting for me to see. There's a lot of stuff that goes on that we don't see because you're not there. Of course, even at an all-cast, when everybody's there, you don't see every conversation. And so you don't really know exactly what's going on when you're in. not around. I think there was quite a bit that went on this year while I was not around. Right. Right. I'm curious to see how it all involves, you know, and quite a bit that I know of

that went on when I wasn't around that is just not true. You know, I was also, I became, it was so random. I became friendly with Christine from Selling Setset. And she was pregnant. She invited me and Justin to a baby shower. And I don't know what I was thinking about. I just thought it was like a baby shower at our house. Like, little did I know. Of course I show up and I'm signing releases and like, you know, I'm going to be on the show. So I signed the release and Justin and I went in, you know, the cameras caught us and going in and I just had a nice little moment with her and it was very lovely. And then, you know, the show airs and sure enough, like, it's like the season premiere and it's her baby shower and I walk in and this little kairon with the end below and

with the Jesse Tyler Ferguson and the husband Justin McKita. Everyone's like, why are you at this baby shower? Anyway, she was perfectly lovely. But She was saying that was really hard with a lot of the stuff that happens that's completely out of our hands and, you know, the power of the edit. I can only imagine that that's got to be a tricky thing to navigate when, you know, you have signed a contract and, like, you have, you know, allowed people to film so much of your lives, but then, you know, you don't have creative control over, like, how that all comes together as well. Yeah, I mean, part of what makes it entertaining is that, of course, you're only seeing moments, you're not seeing everything. And if they didn't leave things out, it would take away from the entertainment value, of course, you know. It's like having question marks is part of what makes it interesting. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

I have here our fresh bread from butter. It's just by the oven, so it's really hot, guys. Oh. Thank you. Beautiful. It's like a necklace. And also. Love it.

He's out of the Portobello with Basilio. Thank you so much. Enjoy guys. Are you guys having to have any questions on the menu? No, I think we're going to, I'm going to eat light this morning. I'm going to do the Italian salad, please. Are you okay with everything in the Italian? Yeah.

Okay, and I'll do the arugula salad, please. Auregalo salad? Thank you so much. What's happening behind me? I don't know. A lot. Always. But what I was going to, I mean, you, from what I gather, and even just from the conversations I had with you when I met you, you seemed like a real family person.

Yeah. You and Seth. I mean, the way you spoke about your children was, like, I mean, you were so proud of all of your kids. I got to see all these pictures. You know, I mean, both you and your husband just talked so highly of them. How has it been, you know, like balancing being in the public. guy with so much of your life and also being president as a mother and

protective as a mother and I'm sure it's also hard for Seth. I mean he's also a part of the show at time so. So it's well it's tricky because you know for so my middle son who you know he's gay but when we first

started he was not public about he was not private about it he was still figuring it out for himself and we had people trying to out him on social media, some of my castmates encouraging the trolling, this, that, and the other, it was really very tough. But then once we got past that and, you know, these difficult traumatic experiences are also growth experiences. And once you see that, like, you come out and everyone's okay, then you

can move on and reflect back. And it's all been very positive for him in the long run. It just was a short-term, not-so-great moment. You know, I think it's important for them not to feel pressure to do something they don't want to do. For sure. You know, as I was driving here today, like, just thinking about you, like, you parent, you know, obviously privately in ways that, you know, no one sees. But there's also, you know, I guess what I was thinking of is, like, how we talk about

because I was doing this with my kids, but I was talking to my kids about setting examples. And I was talking to my son about how to behave with some of his other. friends and like you know and i was realizing as i said it's like i have to also now be conscious of making sure i said an example and i do these things that i'm telling him to do and you know on your show it's like tricky because you know you're wanting you're you're setting an example for your kids but also like you know they're showing all the worst moments all your worst moments too that's the show i mean has that has there ever been any moments with your kids where it's been like i'm mom i cannot believe yeah

I mean, no, not like I cannot believe, maybe not quite that judgmental, but they've been like, Mom, did you think about handling this that way or whatever? You know, they're a little softer on the delivery. Yeah. What's very interesting, though, is I think that my son now really, you know, because they were all very involved in my show, but it's a very different thing. Like, filming on my son's show is the easiest, like most. bond so, like, light and great for me, but not for all them, you know? And so, you know, he didn't quite get it. And now he's like, I understand.

I understand. Because it's intense, and they don't always get it, and they don't get that, like, sometimes it's very intentional, and, you know, you've got a group of people just intentionally coming after you with anything they possibly can to try to get you to get you to lose your temper. Like, I feel like that's half of our show. Like, at least half of our show is how many times can we just poke at Meredith until she loses her temper?

Because I'm actually a pretty calm, collected human being. But when I lose it, I lose it. Right. And it does not happen easily. And so they kind of spend a lot of time, I think, just like, how are we going to get her to explode? Well, I think, do you think maybe you set that up, that challenge for them? Because my perception, because I have since.

Now, knowing you, I've gone back and I've watched some episodes, my perception is that you are very cool and you are very level-headed and you have these great catchphrases. Like, you know, like, I'm disengaging. Like, you are very good about, like, I'm not going to be part of that. So I wonder if it, like, it also sets up a challenge with him like, how are we going to get her to crack? Because you are pretty good about. I think it 100% does. So I probably have to change my behavior in order to change theirs, right? Maybe I just become so explosive at any little thing.

Like we've got to keep her calm. Right, exactly. They'll be trying to calm me down at all times instead of rev me up. I think that's the way I go. I think I should just be so reactive and explosive. They'll be like, oh, my God, what happened to her? Right. So, I mean, you know, I mean, what does make you want to come back after a year that might be difficult?

Yeah, I mean, you know, it's interesting because there are times where I say. I'm not going back. I'm not going back. I'm not going back. The thing is the, you know, at the end of everything, you look at things like what are the benefits, you know, what are the costs to it. And I feel like talking openly about my marital struggles, talking openly about my relationship with my son, things like that. Those are things that some people either are going through or they didn't have the supportive parent that my son has. And it's nice for them to see that there is that kind of support out there or they are struggling with their marriage and they don't know that it's okay to feel that way yeah the negative's not so great but it's also at

the end of everything you know when I look at my castmates and I say oh my gosh this person's spreading all these horrible lies about me and and the public's going to hear this I just say you know what consider the source like the ones who spread the lies consistently do it So anyone who is remotely intelligent is going to see, well, this person lies all the time. I'm sure she's not telling the truth about Meredith. And they know it. And guess what? If they're that dumb to believe the liar, I don't care what they think about me.

I don't. Yeah, and it's hard not to get, you know, not only just worked up with it by it, but, like, hurt by it. Well, it's harder, I think, with the press than it is when you have someone who's on TV consistently lying. You know what I'm saying? If something came from a very credible cast member, I'd be upset by it. Right, right. The thing is, it generally does. Tea.

As the kids say, tea. You have been so open about your marriage and your relationship, but I didn't know this until I went back and looked. But when you started the show, you and Seth were in a very tricky place in your relationship. Yeah. You were basically separated. Yes. I mean, talk me through that. Was that something you were nervous about or?

Yeah, I mean, it was kind of like a crazy thing because, you know, we had been separated on and off for a while. It wasn't really public because our kids didn't know. We kind of had the viewpoint. They were trying to stay together until they got out of, you know, went away to college and it would be a little bit easier then. So when my daughter finally went away was basically just a couple months before we started filming. And I didn't know if we were going to work things out or not. You know, I really thought we were headed towards divorce. My husband did too.

And I guess when the kids finally did leave, it was like, well, we have to make a choice here. There's no reason. Like, we always had this excuse of the kids. They're not in the house anymore. Do we want to be together or not? So we kind of gave it a last-stitch effort with someone who ended up being a great marriage counselor. and it worked. It's, you know, we just, we loved each other always.

It was just we had terrible communication and had just pent up anger over a lot of things that could have been resolved by talking. Yeah. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. After the break, Meredith tells me about the blind date that led to her decades-long marriage to Seth and how they've handled marital issues with the cameras rolling.

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That's all the arugula in southern California. California. Exactly. You guys thought I was hungry. Your performance last night, we figured. Oh, I burned off some calories. Yeah, so we got to fill you up with a Rouglas. I actually did not have dinner last night.

Good call. Thank you so much. That looks amazing, too. Sure. Why not? You and stuff got married very young, right? Yeah, yeah. We met at 23.

Wow. And got engaged at 24. How did you tune me? We were set up on a blind date. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Like an actual blind date where you did not know where you should look like. I'll have some two yet, thank you.

Like actual, what happened was Seth? Because there was no internet back then. There was not internet back then. There was not internet. Seth met a friend of mine, I guess, out one night. And he went back to her apartment and saw a picture of me in her apartment and started asking questions about me. he was like oh who's this whatever the next day she told me the story and I was like and she's going on and on about how great he is and how cutie is and this that and the other I was like oh great well why don't

you set us up and she's like I kind of like him and I said well you have a boyfriend and she's like yeah you're right I do okay I'll set you guys up and so I was in business school at the time and I went to South America for like a month business school and so we scheduled this date for like weeks in advance when I was getting back. And I got back in town and the day rolls around that we're supposed to go out. And I don't hear anything. And my friend called me and she's like, I haven't heard anything from him. And I'm like, well, that's rude.

I don't want to go out with him. And she goes, I'll call him. I'm like, you can do what you want. I would never call him. And so she called him. And this is your Michael Jordan just came back to the Bulls. And he was like, well, we're going, I'm going to the Bulls game tonight. Maybe we'll meet for a drink after.

She called me back and told me what he said. And I go, ew. I said, I'm not doing that. Tell him, I'm sorry, it's too inconvenient. Perhaps he wants to make it another night. I'm not meeting him for a drink. Perfect. So she did.

And he said, well, do you guys want to go to the Bulls game? And now I'm just being a little bitchy because I know it's the hardest ticket under the sun to get. So I figure I'll call him out. I'm like, sure, let's go. So he had to scramble somehow to get, you know, it was not an easy ticket at all. But he did. And we went and we hit it off.

I mean, he was funny. He was like, asked me the strangest questions. It was like very, I don't know. Like what? He was just like, if I got my manicure and pedicure in the same place. Like, that's just a weird question. You know? And then I asked him what he did and he said,

I'm in international trade. And I'm like, well, okay, that's really vague. Like, what are you trying to? Are you dealing arms, drugs? Like, you know, what is this? Well, apparently he had told that to like every date he'd ever been on and nobody ever asked what that meant. So that was a positive for me.

It was like, I was actually kind of smart. Yeah. You know, whatever. I don't know. It was fun. had a great time, and then he followed up later, but it ended up that while I was in South America, he started dating someone else, which was why he never followed up with a date to begin with, because he felt like uncomfortable.

But he told me that, like the next time I saw him and said, but I like you better, what should I do? And I said, well, I don't really know what to tell you about that. Why don't you figure that out and let me know, you know, get back to me? So he did. He broke up with the girl. He never even tried to kiss me until he got rid of her. He was a gentleman. Well-behaved.

Very well-played, Seth. I'm getting a sense that, like, you played hardball. And sometimes I feel like that's the best way to show that you're serious, but also, like, that you're not just going to, like, you know, roll with the punches either. Like, you've got to earn it. Yeah, I think it's, like, true, not just in a relationship, but like in life in general with friendships, anything. You have to have boundaries of what you're willing to deal with and not, you know? And I think it's really important. And it's like also to protect yourself, you know?

It's, A, it works. Yeah, yeah, it did work. Yeah. But B, it's also very important to protect yourself. Yeah. And I imagine that for you and Seth, your relationship is so much stronger after this work you put into it than it was before. I mean, I don't think you ended up – you obviously didn't end up in the same place. When we were separated?

At times we did, and at times we didn't. During that first season, he was not living in Utah with me. He was actually living in Chicago. You know, he would come in and visit, see how things were going. And remember our kids were there for the most part, too. So, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I think it's tricky. I think it's really hard because, like, some people are just not meant to be together

and it's not going to work and you're definitely better off moving on. Like, when other people, it's just a glitch in communication or potentially boundaries or there can be a lot of different things. You know, for us, it was communication. I mean, our communication has just become completely transactional because we're irritated with each other, you know? And so the more irritated you get, the more combative your communication becomes. And then it just snowballs and gets worse and worse and worse until you have someone who's actually a talented marriage counselor

to intervene and kind of redirect you both. And if you're both open to it, it can work. Yeah, you still work with the same person. person? No, I wish he's in Chicago and he's like not licensed to practice in another state. Yeah, yeah. So every once in a while we're like, I want to check in, you know, because I would like to check in at least a couple times a year, but you can't. Yeah. So I'd love to find someone else. I think it's healthy to have like a little check in. I think it's healthy to go to a counselor before you even get married. It's just learning tools for better communication. And it's helpful in life.

Like, I feel like it's just, it's good. And I do think it's getting better and better. Like, I watch my kids and their friends and, you know, they're all much more into, like, being mentally and physically very healthy, you know, that's a really big priority to that generation. And although, like, surge in wellness right now as a business is insane. Sometimes at the point where it drives me a little crazy, I'm like, how many days of wellness? Like, you've got to get to work, too. Like, you've had enough days of mental health wellness.

Well, yes. That is an interesting issue, too. Let's play a balance here. Look, my daughter gate keeps the assistance from me because she's worried that I'm going to overwhelm them and let quit. No. So I have to run everything through her and she delegates. Are you serious? I love that.

And she's like, they can't handle this. You can't do this to someone else. Just send it to me and I will delegate, you know, accordingly. And it's usually between the hours of like 4.30 a.m. and 6.30 a.m. when he, like, wakes up and he can't go back to sleep. And he just starts rapid. texting and emailing and I wake up and it's just like 10 things in my email box that are like you know things I have to get done that day and it drives me crazy yeah it does no it does to me too

yeah you know well I hate my email right now it's just too much yeah it's overwhelming I mean if I could get off of it I would it's nice to not have all of that and it's nice to have like engagement with people and and do and we actually just I launched this um game called rumors I know I I just got it. You delivered a box to my house. Oh, I just got one. Yeah.

Amazing. Yeah. So, I mean, it's nice to, like, engage with a person. Yeah. You know? Yeah,

as opposed to, like, the phone or the TV. Yeah, talk about the game. I'm so excited to play. It's called Rumors and Nastiness. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So it's basically,

it's like, is it a nasty truth? Yeah, I said, like, let's talk about it. She wants. Together we can go there.

The rumors and the nastiness about us. Oh, yeah. That was one of my finer moments. I definitely went a little bit British and a lot angry. But yeah, so the whole idea is, you know, is it a rumor or a nasty truth? There are problems. It's time. Come up with a story.

And maybe it's true. Maybe it isn't. And that's the whole point. Everyone else is guessing. You either lose and take a shot or you went and get a diamond. What does the shock glass say? I'm disengaged. That's so good.

The cards are in a caviar tin. That's so good. Yeah. It all kind of comes full circle. It's perfect. Yeah. You recently got Bat Mitzvahed on the show? I did.

I did. I did. What's like the Jewish faith means? So it's interesting because I am not a really heavily religious person. It's just, it's not my thing. I think for a lot of people, it's very important. In fact, for the large majority of my cast, it is extraordinarily important. Even if they're no longer a part of the Mormon church,

it still plays a massive role in their life being out of the church, you know? Like, it's really a very big deal to the large majority of the women. And for me, it's a little bit different. Judaism is not just, you know, a religion. I mean, my DNA comes. back 100% Eastern European Jewish, it's my heritage, it's my blood, it's my being. So for me to affirm that had a lot more to do with it just being a big part of my life and who I am and a little bit less about religion. Religion to me is really about family, which I'm sure is not

surprising. But that's what it is. It's time to be together as a family, time to, you know, to yes you can say your prayers to god or higher power or whatever you personally believe in and um so it's it was more about a heritage for me than anything else you know it's who i am yeah it's interesting that it came back to you though when you were ready for it yeah um it's really beautiful well congratulations on your bat mitzvah thank you i hope you got lots of wonderful You talked about on the show You don't see everything that's happening And now you said you do have to watch the show

Which I think I'm sure it's very helpful to like sort of see What the other conversations are And I know just from how it's shot That so much of it happens like Like what we're watching right now Happened so long ago Talk to me about like how it is Like when you're watching something that happens so long ago

but you're watching it in real time now and how it affects your relationships as you're, like, shooting things that are happening in current time. Right. That's why we can't film an air at the same time. Right. Because it's, you'll fixate on what's airing,

and then it's all stale content. You know, it's going to be not great. So it's like, we have to let everything air so that everyone can move on. Because when it's in your face, you can't move on. Okay, and then you have a reunion show where you get to air it out in front of everyone. And then you can hopefully,

move on and get some fresh new stuff going because it's boring like who wants to sit and listen to the same argument for five years you know right right i don't want to and i'm there so the audience really doesn't want to but like but how do you prepare yourself for like okay now we're walking into a new season is it a little bit of cleaning the slate is it obviously there's still loose ends to tie up, but how do you, I know you've had fractured relationships and you're back together with people and like things that obviously, obviously when you have information about people, the relationship changes and you have to earn back trust. And I know all those things are in play. It's just like any human. Um, but how is it? With, I mean, how do you, I don't know,

I'm just sort of impressed by the fact that you all can like still continue to coexist together. Um, I, to me, I would rather just move on for the most part. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes you're hurt by things, you know. And it's not easy to move on. But I think you can always move on. It just changes your dynamic, changes your boundaries, changes the way you may engage with somebody. But I don't like to dwell in the past. That's just not my thing. I mean, I've been accused over the years of everything. I've told I'm a grudge holder. When I'm the one who moves on pretty quick, you know? I mean, sometimes as an audience, they don't know how quickly, like, we found something out and then you're back up and filming again because they don't recognize, like, we're airing, and sometimes we don't know about these things until we see them air. So, sure, I'm human.

I take a little time to process things, but I move on pretty easily because I'm just, A, forgiveness is for me, not for you. be when you show me who you are i'm going to accept it and proceed accordingly i've just never been the girl who's like see someone that you don't like and you pretend you don't know them that's just not my vibe you know someone so you say hello and you move on like you don't have to sit there and be best friends you don't have to you know braid each other's hair but you can say hello yeah you know and so that's kind of how i approach it but i don't know I mean, everyone's a little bit different.

And I do think that overall, the women do try to move forward. But there's a lot of triggers out there that bring you back. And it's easy to get triggered, you know, because they all, by virtue of it being reality TV, the reality is we know what each other's triggers are because we watch the show. Yeah. Okay, what are some of the triggers of your castmates? Okay, well, Lisa's not hard. Her business obviously is a massive trigger. Like, we saw that, that she did not like that at all.

Almost everybody's marriage or children is going to be huge, like, always. Understandably. But now I'm deciding consciously, just so everyone knows, and if any of my castmates are listening, you guys should know this too and my producers, I have decided not to let that ever triggered me again because they've weaponized it one time too many. Got it. So best of luck to you moving forward. It would be hard not to let that trigger me.

Family? Like, that's... Decided not to. Okay. It says more about them than it does about anyone else. That's be real. Like anyone who's going after somebody's kid, it speaks volumes about them and says nothing about the kid.

I know. I know you're so right. And then we let it get the best of us so that we have a bad reaction. and then I'm held to a higher standard from my reaction than the person is who caused the reaction. It's called reactive abuse. And so I'm just not doing it. I'm not doing it.

We think. We'll see. Let them go. Let them go. Let's see how ugly and dirty they'll get to do it. But yeah, usually it's family, business, marriage. Yeah. I mean, it's all the triggers that we all have, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty simple. And so on a basic level, that's it. And then, of course, you know, anything that's legal, people get very ruffled by as well. You know, it's like everyone wants to talk about Lisa's lawsuits. Well, we've got a lot of people on this cast to have criminal and civil, you know, charges, lawsuits, etc. And let's talk about everybody then.

Right. You know, I don't. So, great. Let's talk about it. But I did want to know, like, what are, for you, I mean, is there like an end game for you with this? Or like, you obviously have had such success in your career before this happened. It doesn't feel like there are certain people who I know are part of this franchise who kind of need this, because this is a train that keeps the things moving. You had all those things going before.

And it's like you add the train. afterwards, at least that's how I perceived it. Yeah. I mean, what do you see is like the long game for you? You know, it's funny because when I first started this, I said, I will do this for three to five years because, you know, you can use it as a platform to do all these great things that I've mentioned earlier. And but after that, people have seen too much about you and life evolves and by virtue of

just life and just changes in our world. environment, growth as a human being, things that happen, you are going to be hypocritical when they go back and pull something up from five years ago. When you get to that point, it's sort of like you're going past the point of a positive return. Well, I finish season six. So there you go. Obviously, I don't know.

I think that at some point, if I ever feel that the negative outweighs the positive, I won't return. There's no reason to. but as long as I'm feeling a good sense of fulfillment from it and I feel like I'm thriving on it from my businesses or from my personal missions in life, I'll continue. So I don't know, someday that will happen or someday I'll just get tired.

Yeah. You know? It does sound exhausting. I mean, especially when you're DJing until, you know, one in the morning. Oh, I do need to come. I will not be DJing during our filming. season. That is a, we will shut off the DJ during that time. I can't. Like, it's too much, you know.

I do want to come see you, DJ. Yes. Will you please text me the next time you're doing it? Oh my God. I adore you. I thank you for doing this. And dinner is on me. Oh my gosh. Thank you. So much fun. So much fun. Next week on Dinners on Me, you know him as Dustin Henderson from Stranger Things. It's Gate and Matarazzo. We'll get into his early acting days commuting to Broadway after class, his long-term relationship with high school sweetheart Lizzie, and we'll hear about living in a bachelor pad with co-star Finn Wolfhard. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me

Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners On Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinners On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf.

Sam Bear engineered this episode. Hans Dale She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balance Kalasni and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.