Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Patton Oswalt— on love after loss and what still makes him laugh

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

Comedian Patton Oswalt joins the show. Over Lebanese egg pie and Mediterranean chicken, we talk about Patton's hilarious new standup special on Audible: ‘Black Coffee and Ice Water.’ We dissect a lot of things that make him laugh -- from his daughter’s dissection of the horror genre to AI’s bent toward racism. We also talk about falling in love after losing his first wife and how important it was to have his daughter a part of the proposal. And we can’t leave without talking about the late great Jerry Stiller, his costar on ‘The King of Queens.’  This episode was recorded at Levant Bistro & Bake Shop in Echo Park, CA.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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That's rocketmoney.com slash dinner. RocketMoney.com slash dinner. You know how everyone starts the new year off with these huge, ambitious resolutions? I have, I've learned my lesson. I am not pretending this year. I'm not pretending I'm suddenly going to train for a marathon or become a person who meal preps. I'm a grown man and I know who I am. So this year, my resolution is very simple.

It's to treat myself. That's it. It's manageable. It's sustainable. It's delightful. And step one is finally, finally replacing my winter coat. Every year, I swear I'm going to do it. And every year I end up dragging the same sad coat back to the dry cleaner like,

Here it is again. Please perform a miracle while the cycle ends today. Because Macy's after Christmas sale is happening and coats are 50% off. So I'm getting something that actually makes me feel pulled together when I'm running around with the kids or heading into a recording. And while I'm there, I'm grabbing some new active wear. Not because I suddenly became an athlete overnight, but because Nike and Adidas are 25 to 40% off.

And sometimes looking put together while running errands, it's his own version of wellness. If it motivates me to go to a Pilates class, that's great. If it just motivates me to walk to get coffee, that's also great. So yes, treating myself is my resolution. And honestly, I think it's the one I'm most likely to keep. Hey, it's Jesse.

Today on the show, you know him from King of Queens, AP Bio. He has a new special on Audible called Black Coffee and Ice Water. It's Pat and Oswald. When I did the side of the bus depends campaigns, I'm like, this is, listen, there's a much bigger, this is one slice of the hexagon that we are putting together. This will all make sense. This is dinner's on me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. All right, I'm walking to Levant Bistro and Bake Shop in Echo Park to meet up with Patton. Patton's gluten-free, and everything at Levant is gluten-free.

Everything, everything from the employee snacks to the beer they serve. It's family-owned. They have a delicious Mediterranean menu. Think fresh herbs and roasted meats and colorful vegetables. It is the perfect place to bring my friend Patton and catch up. seen them in a while. So let's get to the conversation. So wait, you're gluten-free, right? For reals? I mean, I try to avoid it as much as I can't get. I just, I did- Are you gluten-free? Well, this is the thing. I went to a very, I did a very LA thing today. Oh, no. I went to

a longevity doctor. Mm-hmm. You know. Yeah. I turned 50 last week. So Justin, my husband had gone to this woman, and he's like, you should check her out. I think the Kardashians use her. Well, that's, say no more. So say no more. Listen, I will go to their, I will go to whoever gives them a facelift. If I, if there's a day when I need a facelift, I'm calling Chris Jenner. Kim is 89 years old. She looks amazing. 89 and wow, incredible.

Yeah, I got to get this guy's number. Is this like internal medicine or what is it? It's an actual doctor. Okay. But she does do like supplements and like she evens you out. You know, we all have like these toxins and stuff. And anyway, the one of the things she said to me, she's like gluten is something that you really need to try and be careful about. Why?

Why does it do? It's the gluten here in the state. I saw something about that on Instagram. But somebody said the breads in Europe, you go over there and you don't get the weird. That's right. Because of the pesticides that they use on the wheat here. Oh. And that's what the problem is.

And these pesticides, they have literally banned in Europe. Right. So people who have not allergies, but, you know, sensitivities to gluten, then go to Europe. and then they don't feel that anymore. It's your evening here. Thank you. It's not evening here. Wait a minute.

What are we saying this is? Oh, God. Oh, God. I don't want to mess up the... Constructive time. I don't want to mess up the K-Fave here. What are we doing? Is it noon or...

I'm going off script. All right. Any specials we should know about. Everything here's special. I know that you have a little bit of intolerance or is it celiac? I'm avoiding... It just gluten makes me, gets me really like, bleh. Yeah, yeah.

You get those... You get leakage. I get leaky gut. And I don't want to leak. over these floors. And I prefer not to have to clean that up later, so yeah, we'll just keep all the blue pie. I'm not allowed in Paneras anymore. There's some damage

that I did. I would love to start with... I'll tell you what. I'm going to get an English breakfast tea, two bags. I like it really bitter. And then with some honey. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. I like my tea. I like my men.

Wait, oh, bitter. Bitter. Bitters sweet. With a little bit of honey. A little bit of sweetness. Huh? And you said heavy, too. And heavy, heavy, definitely happy. And two tea bags, if you know what I mean.

Jesse, I'm sorry, for our audible listeners. We're really, we're trying to get the younger kids tuning in for all of our... You have no control of this podcast. Kids love talking about leaky gut and gluten allergies. That's what Gen Z loves. They have a term for it. And tea bagging. I'm sure they do.

I'm going to do a cortado, please. With Oak. With Oak? Yes, thank you. We'll get those going. I'll give you a little more time. And I'll grab you some menus. Thank you, yeah, yeah.

So welcome to comedians out of their cars getting coffee. We're very excited you tuned in. I'm here with Jesse Tyler Ferguson from Modern Family and many, many, many other things. What aren't you doing these days? What am I not doing? I'm not doing... I really don't have a job other than this right now.

I just finished... doing some stage work. What were you doing? I was doing, I did a show at the National in London and then I did Shakespeare in the Park in New York. Wait a second, what was the show

at the National? Here we are, the Stevenson time musical. Wait a minute. With Martha. What am I talking about? I saw you there. I was there. You came to see it?

I was there in London. I was there with my wife and we came over to London for like a week and we could, because we know Martha. Yeah, I know you do. She married you. And then, yeah, and then we hung out

afterward with you. guys and the guy um wait i was there you were yeah but i don't think you came backstage after there was that little bar upstairs yeah yeah yeah yeah and we all went up there and martha was boom um and uh she's martha is a freaking nothing changed you've known martha for a very long time very long i'm not as long as my my wife and her were friends when they were 15 okay i met her so i know she introduced you and meredith and then i didn't know she had married you At a hand in it. What happens is Martha has these dinners where she has all these random people come over.

She has like these salons. Yes. Invite people over to have them all. I've been to one of them, yeah. Well, I was invited to one of them, and the day that it happened, I had to travel. And Meredith was also invited. And I wasn't able to go. And then Meredith posted, she was like, Martha, that was so much fun.

And then she was pat and you missed the best fucking lasagna or something like that. And then I direct message her on Facebook. It was like, the story of my life was the lasagna that good. She goes, yeah. And then we just started talking. It wasn't flirty. It wasn't romantic. I just was like, oh, my God, someone to talk to at the end of the day in the dark as you're going to sleep.

This is amazing. Yeah. And we just texted for three months. We never spoke on the phone, never met. Wow. Just long text for three months. And then over that, we just kind of, it just sort of happened. That's incredible.

Fell in love. Like, the way the Victorians used to do it. Yeah, right? Over letters. Letter writing, yeah, yeah. I fear I must confess something in this latest missile, but this was all this long text thread. Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What an incredible courtship that must have been. It's insane. Yeah. I mean, I know you were also coming off of, you know, great personal tragedy at that time. You know, your wife, Michelle had passed. I mean, talking through, like, going, like,

was the dating process, obviously it happened very organically, sounds like because I wasn't dating right I wasn't looking to date and when I when I started texting with Meredith I wasn't going oh I'm gonna hook up with this girl which is like she's really smart and I'm talking like I was texting a lot I had a lot of problems with anxiety being out in public at that time and being freaked out so I just a lot of my time was texting with friends and she was this really intelligent funny person that I could text with at the end of the day. And then it just all happened absolutely organically.

Yeah. Yeah. And that was it. And then it was also that thing of like, because I remember people, there are still some people were like, well, that was really quick. And, but I've had other people who have lost spouses who were like, there's no schedule on the morning and the, and someone said, if love, if love happens, run toward it. Like, what are you doing?

Right. And it also, it had something to do with I was in my late 40s. She was in her mid-40s. When you get to that age, there isn't that, I still got to figure out. You're like, this person's cool. You're not great. Great, yeah, exactly. Older people date and marry way quicker.

That's right. But when you're younger, it takes years. Yeah, you're encouraged to take years. Yes, exactly, yeah. Because I was at the point where this one dad at the school say, First, you're going to feel like you'll be in despair forever. And you'll just go, I'll never feel joy or anything again. And then you'll get to a point where you're not in despair, but you won't feel anything.

And you're going to feel like that's safety. You're going to feel like, well, at least I don't feel anything. You know, and you'll just exist. And then you'll feel joy and hope. Like the stuff you keep thinking you're not going to get to, you'll get to. But I was at a point for a long time where I'm like, just going to exist and just going to raise my daughter and protect her and make her life as best I can. So there was, but there was a lot of, like, closing myself off and being very, almost like this weird, I don't want to say samurai, because I don't have the physicality for that, but like just this, I am, my life is for my daughter and that's all I wanted to do.

Yeah, that was it, you know. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Patton tells me about raising a teenage daughter in Hollywood and what it was like working with the comedy icon Jerry Stiller during his time on the hit sitcom. King of Queens. Okay, be right back. Reggie, I just sold my car online. Let's go, Grandpa. Wait, you did?

Yep, on Carvana. Just put in the license plate, answered a few questions, got an offer in minutes. Easier than setting up that new digital picture, frame. You don't say? Yeah, they're even picking it up tomorrow. Talk about fast.

Wow. Way to go. So about that picture frame. Oh, forget about it. Until Carvana makes one, I'm not interested. Car selling made easy on Carvona. Pick up these may apply. This is not a drill. For the first time in lipstick on the room history, a real housewife has entered the studio. And not just any housewife, Rachel Zoe, the fashion legend herself.

Did we expect styling stories, glam chaos, stories from the past decade and a full cat eye at all times? Yes. Did we expect her to open up about divorce, rediscovering herself, joining housewives as a zero prep, and what it feels like to finally feel like her again? No. It is vulnerable, iconic, hilarious, and one of our favorite conversations ever. The Real Housewives have officially entered the chat. Listen now. And we're back with more dinners on me. But I bet I could, I bet I can choose very quickly. Watch it. What's minutia? Is that like a flat bread? Exactly. A little fluffier. Yeah, really nice, light, fluffy, flat.

pizza style. Yeah, I give you, like, a little overview of it real quick. So just to give you the, amongst, like, the most popular, I'd say, it would be, like, the short rib scramble, the egg pie, and the shesha for breakfast. I know if you're looking for something more of a smorgasbord, the mezzo sampler is nice, if you want to try a few things. The Lebanese egg pie, is that like a keesh? Yeah. I'm going to get that.

Yeah, that's fantastic. I think that's one of the most popular things. It's on a French home right there. I want, like, a ground lamb situation. I want a ton of gluten. I'm just trying to do no gluten. Lamagin will be that right there. It's like the ground grass.

I'm going to do that. I almost got the Mediterranean chicken. Those are very shareable ones, honestly. I literally just had those two yesterday. The Lamaginian chicken are shareable? Yeah, for sure. Do you want to get it? Let's get it.

Let's get it. Let's do it. Awesome. And the egg, I got to try the egg pie. Excellent. Very intriguing. Thank you. I mean, you have a very funny bit in your new comedy special,

the Black Cockby and Ice Water, which is great, Available on October 20th, you can download it. Pre-download it now, and it's available on November 20th, Thursday, November 20th. Oh, that was sloppy. I know, that was, yikes. It was almost like it looked like I had a seizure. It's going to be coming out. Get it on the thing on your computer, that, and that I think we got it.

Fantastic. Well, no, I think we need to use that. I think we need to use that sloppy person. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. Anyway. It is out now when this comes out. Yes. It's available now on Audible.

But you have a very funny bit about AI and how AI tends to go racist, which is a thing that actually... Yes. There are people whose job it is to steer AI away from being a racist. It's insane how... And they talk about it so casually. Yeah, sometimes it goes racist.

You're like, wait, this thing can launch nukes. Like, that should be a huge, oh, no, we just try to guide it back, and then you realize they're letting it go on the Internet. Oh, well, why are you giving the baby a gun? What's wrong with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that gets, I mean, again, sometimes we get ahead of ourselves with the technology, or we use it for the wrong things. AI would be fantastic if it was being used to work out, you know, waste treatment plants or diagnose. stuff, but it shouldn't be doing our art or making our movies. We were supposed to

invent AI. It can write like batch, like best man speeches. I'm okay with it doing that. Maybe. Yeah. For some people, it's necessary. And by the way, before there was AI, there were professional letter writers that you could hire to, yeah. But what I'm saying is, I thought it was going to

free us up so we could make more movies and make more art on our own, rather than type into a search bar, you know, really cool painting, you know, cool abstract painting about despair. Like, no, that should be a human doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In all of its imperfection.

Like, one of the things that, I remember John Ford, there's this great quote by John Ford, they were shooting out in Monument Valley, and a massive dust storm came in, and they're like, we can't shoot anything, and he goes, no, we can shoot a human face. That's the most interesting thing on the planet. No one never does, but all the AI stuff,

that doesn't make you stop and look to it, because it's so not, no matter what you do, it's not human. Yeah, yeah. And it never will be. Yeah. I want the imperfection. I want,

now we're going to have stars that never age. No, I want them because then they get different, even more amazing performances. Why would you change? I know.

I know. I'm with you. Although I am going to go to Christian or a plastic surgeon. At some point, I'm not taking that back. That you're dead. At some point,

we're going to need to do that. But at least, okay, I can't believe I'm defending plastic surgery. At least plastic surgery is still you're manipulating the human skull

and face. and it's another human doing it. It's not this weird. This is how insane we are right now. I know. I like the way people age. Don't forsake the ripening. The ripening.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Now, listen, I'm enjoying the way I'm aging. You talk about your daughter in special a bit, and she sounds absolutely hilarious. I mean, you were talking about how, you know, she's maybe a little... worldly in certain ways because she's been through things.

But, I mean, do you think that, I mean, obviously she's hilarious because she lives with you, but, I mean, what kind of person do you think she's growing up to be? I mean, she sounds absolutely hilarious. I think these stories about you watching horror movies with her are fantastic. Yeah, she, I mean, epigenetically, she got my humor, she got Michelle's skepticism and rationality, and then in a nurture way, she got Meredith's kindness and wisdom. So she's really got a combination of all three. I want to be very careful that that doesn't turn into cynicism for cool.

But what's great is, for as many things as she is cynical about when I show her the original Halloween. She's poking holes in a guy. Well, she's like, she just called the cops. The guy's standing, he's not moving. He's in her back. I don't know why you're not calling the cops. But then she also gets very passionate and excited about things,

and that always feels amazing. You still see them get excited, you know, Chapel Rowan and Phoebe Bridgers, not just them as singers and celebrities, but, like, really goes deep into their lyrics and loses herself in their lyrics the same way that I would lose myself in an R.E.M. album or a Pixie's album, like, oh, good, she still has that. Nothing makes me happier that when she's reading a really, good book, like something she's really into.

You've got to say her name a couple times to get her out of it. Like, oh, she's in that world. So she hasn't lost that capacity yet. So that, I want to, like, really, really defend that. I want to defend the daydreaming and defend the detachment from reality because that's going to serve her better in life. Yeah. This is just compliments of the chef here.

This is going to be a roasted carrot and our falafel on a beautiful sauce here. Oh, man. Try not to interfere with the audio. Oh, yes, please. That's the most important thing on this table. Yeah. That microphone. I'm so scared of them.

Yeah, I know. No, I mean, you know, Beckett is very into books right now, and I'm hoping to God. That's something that continues. But I don't want to be the jock version of the nerd dad, where I'm like, you're going to sit down and watch all the Star Wars movie. I showed her the first Star Wars, and she was like, yeah, it didn't grab her. And so I'm like, okay.

Did that hurt you? I mean, listen, no, because there were things my dad tried to get me into that. I was like, eh. Yeah. Whatever is their realm is their realm. It was fun to listen to your special because I had, I did one of my early plays in New York at the Menetta Lane. You did? Yeah.

Wait a minute. That's a really small space. Such a small... This is what I was going to tell you. When I was listening to your special, it sounds like you're performing for an auditorium. I was like, I've never heard that theater sounds so full. It was...

All the shows were sold out, but I... I think one of the reasons it sounds so good, and I'm telling this to all comedians out there, I just... All I did was record an album. It wasn't being filmed. Right. And it midway through my first...

I did four shows, and we cut them together. And midway between the first one, I was like, wait, I'm not even, it made me so much freer and looser. And I think that energy came back from the crowd even more. Because now I'm making the kind of album that I grew up on. I know what this language is. And it felt amazing. And I'm trying to experiment with, can I just put out albums?

That's so much more fun. It's such a better medium for comedy than, well, you've got to have a huge arena and you've got to be lit. Like, that should not be any part of comedy. What was the play you did at the Menadena Lane Theater, your first play? It's called The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told. There was a Paul Rudnick play. Oh, yeah?

I did it with Leah Delaria. I love Leah. I used to know Leah back in San Francisco, and we would get confused for each other all the time. I was going to ask if that one of my favorite scenes I remember so vividly on King of Queens is when you were mistaken for a lesbian, and you find yourself out on a date with a woman who thinks you're a lesbian

and she asks if you want to freshen up your lipstick. So good. They also had this great scene where there was one episode where I'm dating a gay guy because I've been dumped and I'd go, I just want someone to make a move on me so I can turn them down. And then he won't make a move on me

and it's trying. And Deacon's like, what's your end game on this? Like how, it's like, I just want him to hit on me. That's really funny. But Leah is. actually, it really holds up well, King and Queens. I was watching some of those episodes that

you know, I mean, that just started in the early like 2002? Late 90s. Late 90s. And Kevin James is such a natural, especially because he's this, should be this big, galumphing

guy and he can act like that, but he also has this amazing center of balance and nimbleness that like a Jackie Gleason has. where his physicality is incredible. Yeah. And he can do so much with the tiniest little gestures. It's a really good, like, clinic

or here's how you can make sitcom acting look very, very natural. Yeah. How he and Leah would, you know, deal with each other. And then you throw Jerry Stiller in there. I mean, what an incredible thing to say you worked with that man. I mean, my God, what a genius. Almost. to the detriment of the show,

because there were certain lines he could get a laugh with that weren't the punch line. Like the way he could enter in a room and go, hello, Douglas, that would get a laugh. And it would throw the rhythm, because everything he said was funny. So it's like watching this weird comedy Jedi master, like everything you do gets a laugh.

How are you doing that? How is that working? I don't feel sort of the same way I'm on a family. I don't know. Did you get to work with him when you did our show? I never got to do a scene with him, but I've met him a bunch of times. He's another one of those just natural. He could say anything, and it would get a bigger laugh than all of us jumping around,

like, you know, jumping through hoops trying to get a joke to work, and he would just deadpanned something, and people would be laughing for, like, 30 minutes and not be able to control themselves, and, like, we have to completely stop working. We have these group texts with our entire cast, and, like... Oh, really? Yeah, we have one with the entire cast. me have one with just the adults. And sometimes we'll be talking about something for like three days.

And, you know, people are chiming in. Oh, yeah. And finally, Ed will, like, chime in, like, day four with, like, just one word that, like, just punctuates the whole thing. Now let's take a quick break, but don't go away. When we return, we get into the episode of Modern Family Pat and Guest Start on. And Patton tells me a story of how he almost ended up in a tabloat. scandal.

Okay, be right back. And we're back with more dinners on me. I mean, the stuff that you guys got to do on, the episode of Modern Family that I'm in, you basically re- But you recreate a screwball comedy, the way all the hallways and the doors,

it's amazing. That's one of our, that's one of my personal favorite episodes, the Las Vegas episode. Yeah. We also were so blessed with, I mean, we had such incredible guest stars. In that one episode, we have Fred Armisen, Stephen Merchant, you. It was just an embarrassment of riches.

Yeah. Yeah, it was wild. And then the past are all ringers. That whole cast. Well, Eric is, you know, hit or miss. The scene, by the way, the scene where you guys drop Lily off at preschool and she, She just, and you're like, no, listen, this is going to be a little weird. Because you, bye, and then just runs in that.

She runs into a pole. Yeah, but also she's like, no, I'm actually not. You're the one who's actually upset. I'm cool. Which is so real. I had that moment with my daughter. First day we went to preschool. She's clinging to me and she's crying.

And literally day two, like I pull up and she just ran out of the car. Yeah. Like I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're supposed to be crying. Yeah. Beckett started kindergarten when I was still doing Shakespeare in the Park this summer. Oh, really? And so I wasn't down.

I hadn't, I didn't have the morning routine down. And Justice said, okay, today's drop back at office school. He gave me all the instructions and how to get into the gate and like who to, which circle to drop him off him. And I wasn't prepared for him to open up the door and just walk out and like walk to class by himself. And seeing his little body walk away with this huge backpack on his back, I started crying. I got really upset Oh it was too much for me I wasn't prepared

I thought she'd be holding my hand We walked in She'd go stay for a while And she was gone Yeah Yeah oh it killed me The independence That scene in

I saw a father do this At a speech at his daughter's wedding No his son's wedding That I went to But it's from the movie Finding Nemo And it's like you've got to let your kids go And have an adventure

Yeah Like there's the scene there's a moment in your life where they're going to run off with their friends and you want to give me just one more day of them the way they weren't

like no you have to left and it oh my God it's crazy because I saw that move obviously I saw find Nemo when it first came out

and like I loved it and I thought it was a great film and I'm sure it was sad and made me feel things but seeing that as a father now like it just destroys me when my kids were young

and I was working and having to like leave them for even just like a week or so yeah And it's really hard on me and people kept saying they're never going to remember they're never going to remember

but it's like I'm going to remember it's more about me and perception you know I don't want the society to look down upon me I'm God society you got to try a bite of this I'm going to

this is delicious yes I want the lamb let's switch and I'm most going to try the lamb as well but that is amazing and let me take my silverware back because I stupidly gave that to you. Eric?

Have you gotten roped into doing things that you really just don't want to do with her? Like, were you... Um... Things I don't want to do. I mean, look, anything that I get to actually goad with her to do is never like, oh my God, I've been roped into... Like, how I get to hang out with her, this is awesome.

I love Taylor Swift, but I saw a lot of dads at the Taylor Swift concert who were like, I don't know if this is where I want to be right now. Now, that being said, by the end of the concert, they were like, oh, I get it. Yeah. I will always, whenever we drive around, she'll plug in her phone and play her music, and it's really great because I get an insight into what is landing with her.

You know what I mean? Like, my parents were like, that's crap. I don't want to hear it. I'm like, well, maybe this is crap, but this is landing for some reason. Don't you want to know what that is? Yeah. So when she plays, and luckily the stuff she plays is fantastic.

And then some of Taylor-Swiss lyrics are incredible. She's my favorite. But I wish I'd had lyrics like that growing up. It would have saved me a lot of hassle with what I had to go through as a teenager. You know what I mean? Because she's very, some of those lyrics are amazing. And especially Feedy Bridgers and Chapel. Yeah.

Incredible lyricists. Oh, when I went to Taylor's concert, Phoebe Bridgers, open for her. And so afterwards, she joined us in our little area to watch Taylor Swift Concert. She, not only that, but she's lovely. She's a lovely person. We met her at a

my daughter and I and the wife went to the season premiere of Only Murders in the building last year. And Chappo was at the after party and was so nice and took a picture with Alice and Alice was like freaking out. Yeah.

Just seems like a very, very cool person who has, has a who has an overall vision for their art rather than I'm chasing what my manager or what the algorithm just told me to do. They're going to, and they're going to go through some bumpy things, much like all great artists do. I'm like, well, just do this thing again. She goes, I'm going this way. And you won't see the whole scope of it until much later. Right, right. You know, it's like when Springsteen did Nebraska, or even darkness on the edge of town, it was like, what hell are you doing? It's like, there's a much bigger project.

going on here that you can't see right now. I'm on an arc. You're at the bottom of the hill. Yeah, you're too close to it. It's actually way bigger. I did a commercial for an oven called Tobola. And I told my team, I was like, look, this is just one brick in the bigger arc. You don't see what I'm doing here, but this is, I know where this is going. When I did the side of the bus depends campaigns, I'm like, this is, listen, there's a much bigger, this is one. slice of the hexagon that we are putting together

this will all make sense when I was going around Times Square on the Wienermobile I was like this list of gang oh that's another story I love so much in your special the peanut mobile peanut mobile

peanut car oh god the nut sorry the Nutmobile oh my God the planters nutmobile I had not offered a ride from the Nutmobile and I don't want to spoil the end of the story but let's just say I I egoed and hubris to my way out of it

and paid a terrible price. Yeah, the universe punished you. Yeah, that, I hate that phrase. Oh, the universe, but that is an example of years going, we got to show him something here. Let's just let him, he'll curse the lesson, but he'll bless the knowledge. That's such a great story. I remember, okay, I'm not going to name any names in this,

but this is a very, hang on, can I get through this out naming names? Yes, I can. Try. It's too good. So at our daughter's preschool, there was a very famous woman, let's say what she does, who had a very famous musician husband. And so, and I would do parking like most of the morning. So I would say hi to everybody.

Hey, how's it going? And I would see her and her husband like, what's going on? I'd say, well, so, and they were always just great, and their daughters were amazing, and it was just really, really sweet. But then one time, so I was. unloading him and I was like, so what's going on? They're like, well, I'm in a really good mood. There was this one songwriter that I didn't think was going to give him a song for his album

and she's going to do it. But I'm going over to the studio right now because he is so in his head. I'm going to make sure he shakes her hand and gives her a hug and thanks her because I know he won't. I'm going to make sure he thank you for doing this. So I heard that part of the story. Months go by and there's a birthday party, one of the kids. So we all go to this birthday party.

So it's September in LA, so it's 900 degrees, and we're all sitting on the curb waiting for these pass vans. I'm just roasting. Parents are just roasting. And I look across the street, there's a couple of cars with, like, telephoto lenses. And I look at her, go, hey, she goes, yeah, it's pops. They just follow me everywhere. They just take pictures. I'm just, I'm not doing anything.

They won't be able to use this. I'm just sitting on a freaking curb, you know, like, it's... Then a few more months goes by. Then I'm at the newsstand, and there's a thing on the cover of either, like, In Touch or Star about that they're divorce, their impending divorce, and it was Mystery Woman, and it's the guy hugging this songwriter, this female songwriter, and you can tell it was cropped, like, clearly the wife was also there, like, fucking good hug. Yeah. And then there's another picture, and then she's devastated, and it's her. sitting on this curb looking so sad. And you can literally see my elbow

like where they crop me out so they can take these photos and do any story they want with them. And then every time I would see them, I'm like, so sorry about the divorce guys. You're like, oh yeah, it's been a nightmare. The whole, can you believe he had an affair with me? I mean, that girl, right?

And I feel bad for making him do it. I mean, they cut me out of the picture. Like, it was insane. Right. My God, if they just clopped that differently, you could have been the other man. God damn it, that would have helped my career. Now, when you did Shakespeare in the park, you did it recently?

Yeah. This past season. Yes, yeah. How many plays and how many days did you do? Because I heard it's like a boot camp for Shakespeare. You just go to the plays? Well, it's just one play. It's just one play.

Other summers, they've done two plays, but it's like one in June and then one in August. I did 12th night with a great cast, Peter Dinklage and Sandra O., the Peter Niango. Jesus. Yeah, it was great. that's wow yeah no it's um there was another one i i had done it years ago uh i did merchant of venice and winter's tale and merchant of venice was alpuccino and lily rabe and he's obsessed with the merchant of venice and rich of the third yeah yeah those are his two like yeah i mean he did the film of merchant well this is the cool thing about alpacino is he

he had already done the film version of merchant of venice right and then he was doing this version in the park um and he treated it like it was was something he'd never seen before. He really re-investigated it. He, um, I was shocked at how he really took the play and the role down to the studs and rebuilt. It's a very accurate and honest, um, interpretation or, our, uh, display of what happens in a rehearsal room.

Yep. Um, you have to, you have to have the moments. And that's why, you know, the rehearsal space is such a sacred space and, like, normally cameras are not allowed into. That's what was, yeah, and you could sense some of that tension of, like, all of this sausage making is not supposed to be on display. This is gross, and nobody wants to see this. Or that's not true.

Everybody wants to see it. But they don't want to, they don't want to show that to anybody. Yeah, someone showed me a video of Merrill Street talking about rehearsing for Shakespeare in the Park. You know, she also did a lot of Shakespeare in the Park. The footage of her in Rowland really is incredible. Incredible. But Merrill says, you know, like, Merrill. I don't know this woman. I've met her. Merrill Streep. I will tell you my Merrill Streep's for in a second. Please do. Yeah.

She says, you know, in those moments of rehearsal, you feel like the worst actor in the world. Even hearing her say that, like, because I imagine watching her work, you just be like, well, that's brilliant, that's brilliant, that's brilliant, she knows. But, you know, you feel, it doesn't matter, like, what people would. receive as you feel like you're just terrible. Yeah. The people don't see you building it from the ground up. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's right. When we, when my daughter met Chapel Rowan at that after party, so we're at the after party, we're all hanging on the Paramount lot.

And she comes up and says, Chapel Rowan is here. Oh my God. So I like weave through the crowd and I was able to approach it and I got the thing. And, and Meredith, you know, my wife, her mom was like, just calm down, we'll get, it's okay, you know, and then we looked over, and then once we got Alice squared away, we looked over, and Meryl was sitting on a couch. I mean, I've met her a few times, but my wife was like,

Merrill Stream, is here. And I had to, so then I went over. I was like, I was like the agent for both my daughter, you want to meet Chapel? I'll get you, Goodwin, Chapel. You want to meet Merrill? I know, I'll get you. And then they like, and then they just taught,

like, Merrill and my wife just, talk like two college roommates like she's just the most chill easy so easy yeah yeah just totally having her drink and you're talking about acting and yeah but it was just it was amazing to see meredith go from the mom mode we will get the picture let's all be yeah calm here to literally like scrape his this is great this is incredible oh my god do you want to take anything home you are you are you going to get pancakes can i get the pancakes to go spoke your wife's pancakes. Oh, damn.

I'll get this wrapped up as well because this was so insane. Unless you wanted some of this. You were just come back into one box? No, there's just this. How is that gluten-free? Yeah, how is that gluten-free? It's amazing, isn't it?

It's so good. It's so clubby. It's like a cauliflower cracker. Yeah, it's really amazing, honestly. But it's chewy. It's like pillowy. So, do you want to just take the next couple months off?

Do you have something? Are you looking at a theater thing or... I'm looking at a theater thing. You want to do a theater thing. Here in L.A. or New York? I'm kind of open to anything. I have bought the rights to this play called True about Truman Capote. Wait a minute.

Yeah, the one that... Robert Morsted. Robert Morsted. He did it in the 80s in New York. It hasn't been done since then. And I did a reading of it in Morocco, of all places. All right. As a benefit for my friend Rob, Rob Ashford.

And it went really well. And so we're looking at doing something with that play. Yeah, it's a really interesting play. It's quite a beast to do when I did it before. It was a reading, so I held the script. And, you know, it's a 40-page monologue, basically. Fuck. So I'm looking for things that's scary.

There is an intermission act break in the original, but I want to cut it a little bit and do it straight through is a 90-minute play. Wow. So that's what I'm kind of working out right now. That's fascinating. Yeah, Truman Capote was a fascinating, like, had all this genius, but also he, because he came from the American South, this is my theory on him.

I feel like because he came from the South, the American, the American South beats the whole planet in terms of great literature because of trauma, alcoholism, like, you know, and then second place is Russia, and third place is Ireland. If you're talking about literature. but I just feel like he couldn't get over that weird myth of but a genius is self-destructive

and that is what that is part like in other words he almost had that worked into his career art that now I've got to have my self-destructive part yeah yeah he also it's a very interesting um observation on people who surround themselves with artists um and you know you kind of touch on actually in your special a little bit about people who are super wealthy and being jealous of those who don't make as much money,

but are more interesting. Yes, and are more interested in life. Yes. They have nothing that they're passionate about, and it drives them nuts. And so he sort of has the same observation about some of these people who he surrounded himself with

that kept him around because he was so interesting and had such passion. Because they can show off, and they collect people around them. Yeah. Well, we went out on our yoppa wait, and Mick Jagger came along. You realize, oh, Mick Jagger is just an opinion.

for their cocktail party story. Yeah, that's right. They don't actually care about it. Yeah, I remember there was a guy, I was at a party, and this guy had this insanely expensive sound system, and he was really showing enough, like each of these speakers is worth a quarter million dollars. They are handmade, and with these special tubes,

and then the turntable is balanced, like in the Swiss lab. It was all this crazy expensive sound system, but I looked at the record collection. underneath it in the shelf. Best of Blondie, best of the Eagles, best of you too. It was just like,

there's no actual, there's a toys in the attic or a court and spark or some album that really landed with him is best up. I got the best of all of this stuff. So you're like,

oh, you, because I have the most expensive system so I have to have the best music. Right. But did any of this music mean anything? There's no like emotional resonance with any of it. No.

No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for having me on, man. Thanks for saying yes, yes, yes. And thanks for introducing me to this place. It's very good.

I love this. I got to come back for breakfast, is it? This will help your leaky guide. And I have no leakage. No leaky gut today. No leakage. This episode of Dinners on Me was recorded at Levant, Bistro, and Bake Shop in Los Angeles, California. Next week on Dinners on Me, you know her from varsity blues, heroes, and most

Recently is Angela on the Paramount Plus series Landman. It's Ali Larder. We'll get into her fascinating acting origin story that involves a fake magazine cover, working alongside Billy Bob Thornton, and what made her want to leave, L.A. for the Midwest. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now

by subscribing to Dinner's On Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad-free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinner's On Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinner's On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions.

It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Bear engineered this episode. Hansdale She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balance Kalasni and Justin Makita.

I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.