Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson - Rob Delaney – on sobriety, musicals, and working with Michelle Williams in ‘Dying for Sex’

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

'Dying for Sex' and ‘Catastrophe’ star Rob Delaney joins the show. Over iced coffees and schnitzel, Rob tells me about getting sober in his twenties, his surprising start in musical theatre, and life as an American raising three kids in London. We also talk about his role opposite Michelle Williams in Hulu’s ‘Dying for Sex,’ what gets harder (and easier) with age, and why he finally walked away from social media. This episode was recorded at Brasserie Max at the Covent Garden Hotel in Covent Garden, London. Want next week’s episode now? Subscribe to Dinner’s on Me PLUS. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, but you’ll also be able to listen completely ad-free! Just click “Try Free” at the top of the Dinner’s on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. A Sony Music Entertainment & A Kid Named Beckett production. Get 15% off your Saily plan with the code ⁠⁠⁠dinnersonme⁠⁠⁠. Just download the Saily app or head to ⁠⁠⁠https://saily.com/dinnersonme⁠⁠⁠. Stay connected — and don’t miss your dinner reservation. Stay connected — and don’t miss your dinner reservation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So I'm currently traveling abroad in London right at the moment, which is why so many of my episodes have people with British accents right now. It's amazing here. I love it. Until I need directions or restaurant recs or anything, and I've got no Wi-Fi and sky-high roaming fees, which is just not cute. That's why I started using Salie. Salie is an easy-to-use eSIM app created by the folks behind NordVPN. It gives you instant mobile data in over 190 countries and you only have to install it

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Dying for Sex and Catastrophe on Amazon Prime. He's an amazing comedian and writer. I have been a fan of his for so long. It's Rob Delaney. Theater actors and musical actors warming up is one of the most godless embarrassing things about the whole business. Yeah.

That's more embarrassing than being walked in on pooping. This is Dinners on Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I first became aware of Rob Delaney when I discovered his TV show, Catastrophe. It was a show that started when I was already doing Modern Family, and everyone in the hair and makeup trailer

was talking about the show. I absolutely loved it. I also then discovered his Twitter account, which was equally hilarious. He has written a few books that I absolutely adore. One of them is a series of essays, and the other one is an account of the death of his son, Henry, who died of a brain tumor. It is an absolutely incredible book, and the way he siphons his grief through this vessel of comedy is absolutely astounding. It's a book I cannot recommend enough.

Rob is living in London where he has been since he has done the show Catastrophe. So I grabbed him for a lunch at Rossery Max in Covent Garden. The Covent Garden Hotel is actually the first place I ever stayed. When I first came to London, I came here for a press tour for Modern Family very early on, I think in the season one. It's the perfect stop for actors. It's right in the theater district. The opera house is close by. There's lots of pubs and wonderful concert venues. I actually once saw Kate Winslet eating at this restaurant at the bar. Fun fact, it's a great place to come for a martini

before a show or settle in for a crudite, beef carpaccio, or some lovely lemonade Dover soul. It felt like the perfect spot to sit down with my new friend Rob Delaney. You studied musical theater. I did. At Tisch, so I'm a big musical theater nerd as well. I know. Talk to me about when you got involved in musical theater. I did. At Tisch. So I'm a big musical theater nerd as well. I know.

Talk to me about when you got involved in musical theater, in Massachusetts I assumed. Yeah. Were you like near the Berkshires and like all that stuff that was happening in Massachusetts? No, I was in a town called Marblehead, which is like a half hour north of Boston on the water. And I just started doing musicals in high school.

You know, my school had a good drama department. Started doing musicals and chorus and choir and all that, and just loved it so much. Then I figured since I'd been doing musicals, and since an actor, all they have is their body and their voice, that I should train those as well as I could. So I thought studying musicals would be the best thing

to do to be an actor, rather than just be in a class and be like, feel the orange. But also, straight voice in musicals, they're a rare breed. A little rarer. I just felt growing up, it was definitely, for me, where I found my positive weird kids that I related to. Oh yeah, yeah.

No, I met wonderful people that I remain friends with to this day and just loved it desperately. I mean, it was the best part of high school. What musicals did you do when you were growing up? West Side Story, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, Oklahoma, Guys and Dolls, Showboat. Oh, next question. Ensemble or did you have singing speaking roles?

I had roles in all of them. Fucker. Maybe because I was straight. That's exactly right. They were like, he's such an anomaly. Totally. Lightning in a bottle. I mean, there were other straight kids. I'd say there were plenty of straight kids in high school,

but then when I got to college, then I was in the major minority. Right, so you went to Tisch. I did, yeah. Which is a great drama department in New York City. We moved to New York around the same time. I came from Albuquerque, New Mexico to New York, and that for me was such a culture shock,

but in the best way possible. I mean, I felt like I finally was able to breathe in this city that a lot of people feel intimidated by. I loved it because, you know, I will say, I compare it to like, you've got two college educations at once. You were at a great school, but then you're in New York City, which it becomes at least 50% of your experience.

So you're going to museums, you're going to the theater, you're going to concerts, you're rolling down a hill in a park and playing Frisbee and all crazy stuff. And was the housing for Tisch down in the NYU area? In the village, yeah, East Village. OK, so then that's an incredible area to be in. Totally.

I was way up in the Upper West Side, so I'm like 79th and West End Avenue. But we were so far away from anything cool. I would have to get on a train and go a little farther downtown than I was probably comfortable with. It's a 17, 18 year old kid. Totally. But that's such a great area to be in.

Did you wander into a lot of comedy clubs? There's a lot of great- Not so much, not until I was a senior and then the Upright Citizens Brigade had a theater there. So I didn't sort of discover live comedy seriously until my final year and then everything changed very dramatically. Yeah, you made quite a shift because you just completely abandoned musical theater. Wholesale. I was like, see you later.

I mean, I love musicals. I'd love to do one. Did you ever have any desire to be on stage professionally? Not once I started doing stand-up and then had the good fortune to get cast in TV and film. So it's kind of like, there's stand-up here and then film and TV here. Being on stage in a place like in the middle, but that itch gets scratched by doing these two things.

So I get to be on stage and have people go like, yay. And I get to tell stories, you know. So for that reason, I haven't pursued theater seriously. Plus I have a bunch of children and I wouldn't want to miss like a few months of bedtime. I'm here doing a play at The National and I did bring my kids with me, but it is the worst schedule for parents. You miss all that stuff. You miss the bedtime. It's really hard.

Yeah, you've gotta figure out the balance, the dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Around the time that you started becoming very successful with your standup, is it also around the time that you had, you became sober as well? No, actually I got sober in 2002. Okay.

And then I didn't, nobody knew who I was in any capacity until about 2010 or 11. So I had a good sort of gentle-ish ramp up into things. And lucky for me, I was sober, married, and a dad. So I was pretty in the groove of the most important things before anybody really knew who I was. So that was good. When you look back at those years before sobriety, I mean, I also stopped drinking.

Yeah? I mean, I just had my eight month's chip I got yesterday. Are you ready to order? Yeah, I think I am. Yeah, why not, let's do it. I'm gonna recommend you something. Sure.

We've got some grocery max classics. Like chicken schnitzel, which is coming with anchovies. Oh, I've had that. It's huge and delicious. Cajun and anchovies. I've got a sort of truffling wingy, which is coming just very classic with garlic and parsley. If you would like start with some starters, maybe.

Pieng min soup with the cheese straw. Or the blue callow salad with the asparagus, broad beans, trying to use our chicken products from our friends from Hotspot. Yeah, that sounds nice. I might try that buffalo mozzarella salad. Of course. And then I'm actually gonna do the Caesar salad with chicken.

If you are finding an entrance in that. Yeah. And I'll have the schnitzel. So good. The schnitzel, beautiful. Would you like some side dishes with schnitzel? Maybe the mint Would you like some side protection? Maybe the minted piece and the broad piece or buttered inside? How about the steamed asparagus?

Steamed asparagus. Thanks. So I stopped drinking about eight months ago, but I had done other stents where I'd have long periods and then I'd be like, I can do it. And then I'd be like, no, I can't. First of all, I'm so happy you got sober and that's so incredible. And I also am always in awe of people who have that many years and did it at such a young age. Yeah. I mean, I'd been trying to quit for years before I finally did.

Cause I knew I had a problem. So it wasn't that, so I would put a few months together, and I'd be like, ah, you can drink a beer again, or smoke a joint, or whatever, and then it would not work out well. But for me, worse than being in jail in a wheelchair, which I was, worse than that was the way that I felt.

You know what I mean? Because jail, you get out of, bones knit, but the feelings are, I feel like, the common denominator in people who do decide to put the plug in the jug. That's the worst part. So you just feel so awful, both physically and then there's like the guilt and the shame and all that.

And so to not live my life in a way where it's resulting in feelings like that is the best part. You just don't wanna feel like a bucket of garbage. Yeah. And anything you can do to put that behind you is just so great. Now for a quick break, but don't go away.

When we return, Rob and I discuss how sobriety has changed our lives and the ways it's sharpened certain feelings and created new vices. Okay, be right back. Now that Beckett is five and Sully is not far behind at three, I've been thinking a lot about school options. I want to set them up for success, but also make sure they're learning in ways that actually work for who they are. That's why I love what K-12 powered schools are doing. These are tuition-free, online, accredited public schools

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quince.com slash jtf. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. I guess what's been a revelation to me is that realizing that it's more than just me drinking or me wanting to drink, that it's a whole behavior that, like I still feel alcoholic behavior. And if I don't keep on top of those things,

whether or not I'm drinking or not, which I really don't have a desire to drink, like I really love myself much more without losing. I like the way I feel in the morning, I like the way my skin looks, like you lose weight. There's always like incredible perks. I don't love myself much more without lose. I like the way I feel in the morning. I like the way my skin looks. You lose weight. It's like there's all these incredible perks.

And I just, I remember moments with my kids in ways that are more vivid and they're more in color than before. But there's certain things that like, you know, my people pleasing or my ego and like all these other things that I didn't realize, oh, that's actually more the alcoholic behavior that I need to sort of deal with. And for me, that's been such a revelation, but also such a kind of a weight off my

shoulders. Cause like, oh, this is like, if I stick with this, I'm only doing myself good spiritually as well. Like it's beyond, you know, just feeling better and having better skin. Totally. My favorite definition of alcoholism that I've heard is like drinking results in bad consequences in your life and you still drink. That works for me. But whether you're an alcoholic or you're not,

life is extremely difficult. And by the time you get to our age, you need so much scaffolding to keep you upright and keep you moving forward, and you need to take care of your mental and emotional hygiene and all that stuff. And so it's like, if you're an alcoholic and there's things that can help you,

you know, like meetings and the 12 steps and stuff, like dive in because we're lucky to have that stuff. And it's funny, once you start to learn about that stuff, you're like, oh, I wish other people could have this. You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. And everybody's like, wandering around in like total confusion, whether you're alcoholic or not.

So it's, you know, let's use the tools we have. Yeah, yeah, I had a friend who was allergic to alcohol. I was like, oh my God, how convenient would that be? Like, that you just really quit and drink it. Like, it's just not possible. Yeah. It's like, oh, that would just take so much off the plate because I enjoyed it, you know?

Totally. And I didn't like the consequences on that. Or the worst, there was this funny, it's just, I feel tacky doing this, but there's this tweet where I saw one time where somebody was like, I always fantasize about like getting a blood test and them finding out that I'm missing some vital You know vitamin or whatever like k12 or whatever and they're like, oh, that's what it is I'm missing about him. You know, yeah, I get it and then I'm fine. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah and not too terribly long ago I had a small medical thing where they did a blood test and I'm like, oh God, I hope they find out that I'm missing the substance, whatever it is. And they were like, everything's perfect. And I was like, God damn it, you know? Couldn't it be K-12? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

You mentioned Twitter. Are you still on Twitter now that it's X? I'm not, no. Last year, I got off of all social media. All of it. Yeah, and I'm glad that I did. I gave it plenty of attention for plenty of years and it just wasn't serving me anymore.

But yeah, social media is something that I said goodbye to. I'm really impressed. That's the next thing, like, now that's what I've done with stuff because I want to not have that under... Yeah. I feel the weight of that. I feel and stuff, because I want to not have that under, I feel the weight of that. I feel the weight of social media. And it's almost like having given up alcohol,

like that's one of my vices now. They always say you're gonna find other things that you cling onto. I buy my nails too much. I love sugar. And I feel like I'm starting to become addicted to social media. Yeah. In a way that's.

Well I would just say like, let's say, like what are you getting from it? Certainly nothing. Yeah. And then are you doing anything good with it? I don't know, there's some funny videos Rob. Oh sure. But you know, you don't need social media for those.

And then with, are you getting, are you putting anything out there with it? And so I thought for a while like, and then with, are you putting anything out there with it? And so I thought for a while, like, oh, I could maybe help with the number of followers that I have. I could help, you know, foment positive change or get positive things out there. And I no longer believe that that's really possible. So, not that it isn't possible to have a positive effect

on the world, I just think it's more stuff that you do in person with people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the story of how you and your wife met. It is so brilliant. It ties in so many colors of your life. So so many threads of who you are are like brought together in that moment

of how you and your wife met. Oh my God, I love hearing you say that. Yeah, yeah, for people who don't know, my wife and I met volunteering at a camp for people with disabilities. I met a guy in recovery and he was resuming some volunteer work that he'd done when he was younger and he was starting his own camp for people with disabilities in California.

And so I did that with him, had a wonderful time and then found out that the camp that he had started was an offshoot of a camp back in Massachusetts that had been there for decades. So I went to go do that one. And this is near your home? No, in fact, this is called Camp Jabberwocky, it's on Martha's Vineyard. Not ridiculously far, but you do have to take a boat to get there.

And so at that camp, I met my wife, who was also volunteering there. She was a teacher, and in between, switching from one school to another, so had that summer. And yeah, we met there and fell in love, and we've been together for 21 years. That means we're in our third decade together.

It's incredible. Super bananas. And what a gift and what a joy it has been for me. Not to talk about your ups and downs too much, but like to go through so much with one person is, and also the change of a country together. Oh my God, yeah. I mean, do you ever look back on those 21 years

and be like, oh my God, I remember when we were meeting each other in swimsuits at this camp and we were children. Oh my God, yeah remember when we were meeting each other in swimsuits at this camp and we were children and the stuff we've, the things we've been through together, I mean, it seems insurmountable. If you met each other at that young age and said, we're gonna go through these things together next 21 years, wouldn't you be like, fuck no.

Yeah, I mean, it would just be staggering. Your head would explode. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I remember the years where she was the breadwinner. I was a middle school English teacher in LA. Does she still teach? She does not. No, because when we moved over here,

she wasn't allowed to for a while. And then we had more children. And so she does a tremendous amount of volunteer work at nature reserves and food banks and stuff like that. So she's quite busy Do you miss America at all? I know that like oh, yeah, totally. I love America I love Americans and we didn't flee America. We came here because I got the show catastrophe Picked up and then life kept you here and then life kept me here. So We've thought a couple times about moving back.

A couple years ago we thought very seriously about it, but then we kind of all collectively realized we've just made too many friends here and are too plugged into the school system. Plus my older boys are 14 and 12 and they really wanna be here, you know? And at this age you you've got to factor in what they want and care about, you know?

It's, you know, be at your peril. If you're like, yeah, screw your feelings, we're moving. You know? Sure, we're the adults and ultimately make the decisions, but we care what they think. And between them and my wife and I, I think I should say six. Okay, I mean, because there is a point, like, you know, I'm sure you hate to think about this,

like my son just lost his tooth the other day and my husband and I were both in tears because it's like, oh my God, it's like, it's happening. Big boy. He's only five and I was like, how does he already have a tooth missing? Yeah. Like it sent us on like an emotional journey

for a whole day. We were not okay. But you know, 15, I mean like in three years, four years, they might be off of college. I mean, there might be a time when, you know, I guess you could make that move if you wanted to and not disturb what they wanted to do. This is true.

Like if you were to move back, do you think it would be back to Massachusetts? Would it be New York? God, I have no idea. So I worked, the show that we were talking about earlier, Dying for Sex, filmed in New York. And I sometimes wish that my career had taken us to New York because that would be halfway between my family

in Massachusetts and halfway between my wife's family in North Carolina. My career did not take us there, it took us to London. Which is like the same thing. I mean it's a little more difficult to get from London to Boston than it is from LA. Just cause you have to do like customs. You know?

Right, right, right. Did you finish with your starters? Yeah. I think I have. I'm gonna save room for the salad. Thank you. This was delicious by the way. I'm excited about my schnitzel.

Okay, calm down. Jesse's letting me have schnitzel. But yeah, but we're here. We're here in London and that's simply how it is. And there's a lot that I love about it. Like I desperately miss the insane nature of the United States National Parks. You know, like if you're living in LA, it's not hard to get to Sequoia or Kings Canyon or just go jump in the ocean in Santa Monica. So I miss the bananas nature that is so readily available in the United States and our extended

families. That said, we were in LA, so again, we weren't that close to them. But I do wish there was a fantasy world where we somehow lived near both our families and I could do the job that I do with relatives. I mean, the crazy thing about being over here is like, like I was just saying, Justin was like gonna go to Paris for a concert tonight. I mean, that's bonkers.

Oh yeah. I mean, you could be on a Greek island in two and a half hours. It's crazy. Justin took our younger kids to Paris. So when we asked Beckett what he was most excited about seeing in London, he told us it was the Eiffel Tower. Incredible. Yeah. So we planned a trip to go to Paris.

Of course, I'm doing this show, so I was only able to join them for my days off. Justin went from Thursday to a Monday and I joined them for the Sunday. And when I went to see them, I went right to Disneyland Paris, which is just beautiful talking about. It's one of the best Disney lands. It really is, but it's certainly not Paris. Yeah, but it's great. And so I wasn't able to go with Beckett and Sully

to the Eiffel Tower, but I was seeing these photos of them in front of it. And seeing him with that smile in front of the Eiffel Tower, I started crying because I was able to take myself to Paris for the first time when I was in my late 20s and I barely could afford to do it. I stayed in a small little hotel that I could afford. It was not nice, but I gave myself that experience.

There was something about Beckett and Sullivan just being able to be in this city that they, you know, they've only lived, Beckett's lived five years and Sullivan's lived three, but they've talked about it, that they were there. And I was like, I'm so proud that we could do that for them. And I just feel like being over here, there's so much I'm sure your kids have been exposed to

that they wouldn't have been, have you been in LA or? Yeah, I mean, no, it's true because we can go to Portugal, faster than you can get to North Carolina from California. Or sometimes from Silver Lake to Santa Monica. Depending on the traffic, yeah. Or like Iceland. So it's really absurd how many wonderful things are so close together here. That is a big, big, big benefit of living in Europe. Now for a quick break, but don't go away.

Rob shares why he stayed in London after catastrophe, the very interesting methods he used as an acting teacher given what he knows, and what it was like playing neighbor guy opposite Michelle Williams in the Hulu series Dying for Sex. Okay, be right back. You know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans? Getting burned by your old wireless bill. While you're planning beach trips, barbecues, and maybe even a little Shakespeare in the park,

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you know they're comfy and covered. More parents choose the new Huggies Snug and Dry softness versus the leading premium diaper. Huggies, we got you, baby. And we're back with more dinners on me. Huggies, we got you baby. And we're back with more Dinners on Me. The thing I'm having a really hard time adjusting to is the Brits, their version of how are you doing is you're right. And I'm really, I can't relax into that phrase.

Every time someone asks if I'm all right, I feel like I'm presenting as if there's something wrong. Right, right. And it makes me very anxious and kind of angry and I usually snap back. I'm like, I'm fine. Yeah, yeah. And I can't get used to it. No, it's interesting because,

but then the American sort of analog to that is, if you think about it just as weird How are you fine? Yeah, like you're right. Okay, I don't know, you know, yeah, like both of them You should we should be more German and just right like choose, you know, whatever no question. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, are you interviewing me? I'm trying to just go get a cup of coffee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but it's it's I'm having a very hard time with it and Yeah, it's my whole the whole crew of the show is English and they're always asking if I'm all right. I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine. But then there is something nice about having

an English stage crew. I was working with a British First AD, because it brings a formality to things. Oh yeah. If you're not in show business, First AD means you know, because it brings a formality to things. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're not in show business, First AD means First Assistant Director, and they're the person who appears to be in charge on set.

Yes, the director's in charge, but the First AD makes it all happen. And if you have a British First AD, you know, things are just, it's just easier to fall in line and do what you're told. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the theater, you know, you usually get, it, yeah, yeah. In the theater, you usually get, it's a places call in the States.

You know, you can place, this is your places call. And here it's a beginners call. Beginners, we're going to begin the show. It's just so civilized and easy. Although they do love their warmups here, which is something that I haven't also not embraced. Okay. A lot of warming up.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Don't love. Theater actors and musical actors warming up is one of the most godless embarrassing things about the whole business, yeah. That's more embarrassing than being walked in on pooping.

Like, you should go in the bathroom and close the door when you do that stuff. I don't wanna hear it. I did this show in New York at the Circle in the Square Theater, which is also a school. And it's a Broadway theater and a school. And you have to walk through the lobby

in order to get into the theater. And I remember going into my rehearsals and walking over people that were lying on the floor in masks, like humming. And that's what they were doing that day in acting class. And it was weird because I was doing the job that they were probably all hoping to do one day, but literally stepping over them

as I was going to that job. It's so funny because now having acted a lot, if I taught acting school, this is what I would do. First off, I would just give people a scene, whatever, it doesn't matter what scene, and then I would turn the heat up in the room to an absurd level so that they were like, Jesus, I'm burning up. And I'd be like, well, guess what? When you're acting professionally, no matter what the production is,

there will be a scene where it's super hot for some reason, because either they had to turn off the AC, or it's just the day they could get that location, happens to be the hottest day of the summer. And you have to act like you're not burning up. I would do that, then I would turn the air conditioning on super high and make them just put on little t-shirts, and be like, now act like you're not freezing.

Cause that's the other thing, you know, you'll be freezing frequently on the same production. You'll be born hot and then freezing and you have to act. That's what real acting professional is. Can you act hot? Can you act cold? So funny. What else would I do? Walk artificially slowly, but act like it's normal.

Cause for the camera that can look totally normal, but to you it feels so weird, you know what I mean? Eric Snowdenstreet admitted to me when we were doing Modern Family, he's played Cam, my husband, he had to do his first slow motion scene and he didn't realize that that was something that they would do in post-production.

I did the same thing happen to me on a movie once, yep. So he was like trying to walk in slow motion, like what are you doing? He was like, you told me it's gonna be in slow-mo Hey, like no, no, we're gonna. Yeah, just walk normal Yeah, we'll do the slow motion part in post-production Same thing happened to me and it brought the crew such joy. Let my idiocy they were like, oh it was everybody's favorite day Eric's stone street, I should say I used to see him do shows at Improv Olympic all the time before Modern Family. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He, that was a big, big break for him. I mean, he was doing a lot of commercials and guest spots on shows. He would, and he still is, he was such an advocate for the working actor. Anytime a Modern Family, if they wanted to hire a celebrity for a guest spot star, he would always like suggest a friend or two of his. Oh, cool. And occasionally they would get it. Oh, that's wonderful.

But yeah, no, Eric was such an advocate for giving people opportunity because, you know, that's what happened to him. But yeah, he is a good, good guy. We all in the trailer, when Catastrophe started, we're all talking about it. Loved it so much. Such a great show. It also felt like such a find, because it was something that aired here in the UK

and then Amazon Prime picked it up. And it was in that time when streamers were still sort of like, it wasn't a huge thing. I mean, now it's like, that's exactly where everything goes. But that was such a big, obviously huge moment for you as a writer and an actor. What did it feel like to, first of all, have the success here and then have it transfer

so brilliantly in the States? Well, first I just want to say, now that I'm eating, I'm not going to answer any more questions. Just because this is quite good and I don't want to, so if you could imagine what my answer would have been. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll film him later. We'll do it in post.

No, it was, God, it was outrageous, you know, and it's funny, because over here it was on Channel 4, which is like a terrestrially broadcast, old-fashioned station that you get, even if you don't have cable. Being on old-fashioned TV, which we were lucky enough to be, like every episode we really had to put our best foot forward and really nail it and finish strong,

or people wouldn't tune in the next week. But then in the US, it was on streaming, so we had to kind of think of it like a movie as well. So I think one of the secret weapons of catastrophe, which we didn't realize at the time, was that we were consciously making it for two types of viewer, and I think that might have helped

secretly strengthen it. Did you feel with the success of Catastrophe that also in some ways, I mean it cemented, you were working here, you were creating the show here, and it was a big hit. Did it feel like you were cementing a career here in the UK and that your work was going to be? No, it didn't.

It felt, because I am American and we did make the show for American consumption and thank goodness people watched it there. I always felt sort of like one foot here and one foot there, you know? And, you know, in the 11 years I've been here, I think the only time I've played somebody British is on the CBBC show Horrible Histories, where I played King Arthur. Ah. And that, you know, so nobody's like,

oh, you know who we should get to play our British guy in this thing we're filming literally in England? It's, the answer's never me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you know someone that was working on Dying for Sex that you had a relationship with already or? No, I didn't. How'd that come to you?

That was, so I'm at the point in my career where sometimes I read for stuff, sometimes it's an offer, and this one happened to be an offer. I guess they had seen Catastrophe, Liz Merriweather and Kim Rosenstock who made the show. So I did not know them, and they kindly offered me the role.

First of all, the scripts were incredibly special. It's based off of a podcast that was very popular. I didn't listen to the podcast. I've just been watching the show. I am a fan of everyone involved, yours. I love Jenny Slate. I don't know. It seems wrong to say that I feel like Michelle

Lange's underrated because she has been nominated for so many things and has won so many things. But I really do feel like she's one of the greatest actresses we have. Oh, no question. Outstanding. And your work with her is so incredible and rich and unbelievable chemistry with her. Thanks. I would, she's someone I would love to work with. I was actually meant to do a play with her back in 1999,

or like 2000. Wow. And she had to drop out of it to do a movie called Brokeback Mountain. Wow. So actually probably was like 2002. Okay. I just think she's such a special person. Oh God, agreed.

What was your, did you know Michelle before? No, I hadn't even met her. So yeah, so we met beforehand and we're pretty unified in kind of what we wanted to do with Molly, her character and neighbor Guy, my character. And yeah, just a really special person, incredibly generous scene partner and yeah, good person, you know, really just a thrill to work with.

I mean, the subject matter on paper is very heavy. It's about this woman who is diagnosed with a very terminal cancer has an infinite amount of time to live. Infinite, that's not the right word. The opposite of infinite. The opposite of infinite. I do this all the time. I mean, spiritually, we're all infinite.

Yes, sure, sure, sure. She has a few months to live. And she decides she wants to go on a sexual journey. And she separates from her husband who is, you know. J. Duplass. Yeah, he's so great, I love him too. Another one, literally the whole cast is people I just adore.

And you are one of the guys who she ends up connecting with. But it's so funny. And you have a very keen way of dealing with grief and bringing it through a comic lens, which I think is very comforting. It just felt very... I don't know, I guess it's cheesy to say, but I felt like I was in very safe hands

watching you with this character. Oh, well, that's a real compliment. And Michelle as well, I guess we both felt that our lives had prepared us to play those parts with some understanding of what it might be like and In terms of the tone of it, you know Funny things can happen when you're grieving and in great pain. So I think the show Did do a great job of... I don't know if they so consciously had to be like constantly thinking about the tone of the show, but I

think Liz and Kim, who wrote it, had written enough that they could kind of relax a little bit and they had the confidence, I hope. I mean, I can tell them as an observer, they certainly have the authority to do it, but they've done enough. They've learned all the rules to the point where they can kind of forget them and just try to do something as real as possible, understanding that sadness and humor and fear and passion and all those things can all be ingredients of one day in your life, certainly in one episode of television. So they just did such a great job with that. Yeah, it's really impressive.

And I was just very moved by it. I had, you know, it's, it was a show that I'm gonna be really honest with you. I was nervous to watch because I knew subject matter. And within literally 30 seconds, I was like, oh, okay. And I breathed a sigh of relief. Yeah.

And obviously the cast is responsible for so much of that, obviously the writing. But it was a real breath of fresh air. And I was so surprised by it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I since I didn't write it or produce it I feel like I can say yes you're right I mean it's a remarkable show I'm really lucky to be a part of it. Yeah you should be. Are you I just I also just watched your most recent comedy special. Wow. I started watching it then I then I got on the line bike so then I switched over to Spotify

and just listened to it. Oh funny. It's great. Oh thank you. It's fantastic. Thanks. I mean that special specifically is such a masochist love letter to your family. I mean it's like you talk about them all.

I mean the stories you tell is so great and I mean no one escapes, unscathed. You talk about them all. I mean, the stories you tell are so great. And I mean, no one escapes unscathed. You talk about everyone. And you also put yourself in the seat of the one who's made fun of the most. I mean, you were really very honest with a lot of your stories that you tell. I specifically loved the story at the end of the special about your boys realizing that they could marry other boys and wanting to marry their best friends. Yeah, so cute.

So sweet. Yeah. I think I'm good. Yeah, I'm finished. Thank you very much. Thank you. What else? What else is there to talk about?

Oh, silly thing. I actually auditioned years ago for Phil Dunphy. I feel like I knew this. Now, my understanding is that it was in fact really written for Ty. However, the network was still like, well, you still have to see people. So let's go through that formality.

So I do remember going in and reading for that and being like, this script is amazing. And then watching it and it and being like oh good thing they cast him and not me well You know he had a very difficult time landing that role you're kidding. Yeah, they basically Rejected him like three or four times see like he went all the way to network And then they're like no we're not gonna think he's funny Lord and it Steve Levitan and Chris Lloyd basically had to go to bat for him. Okay. And it got to the point where Steve actually filmed

the audition scene in his own backyard with Sarah Hyland and Nolan Gould who ended up playing his children and Ariel Winter as well. And they showed the network that and they were finally like, oh, now we get it. Okay. That's interesting. That's good like, oh, now we get it. Okay. That's interesting.

That's good. Oh yeah, I had no idea. We could have been brother-in-laws. That would have been funny. Are there other things that you've auditioned for that you feel like, oh, I wish I could have, but that slipped through my fingers or? For now.

Oh, I recently read for Hagrid in the new Harry Potter. Oh, no way. But I was so relieved when I didn't get it because like that would have been a long, potentially long job. Yeah, yeah. No, I did um. Would you like to have a look on the third menu? I'll look at it. I'll have a look at it. I'll put apple tart in. Apple tart. What do you think, Rob? Yeah, I will have the apple tart, please.

Good for you. Thank you. Could I do the lemon tart? Lemon tart. Thank you. Thank you very Could I get the lemon tart? Lemon tart. Thank you. Thank you very much. What are your kids into right now? Are they?

They love cars. They love fast cars, which is interesting because we don't even have a car because in London you don't need one. Great public transportation, taxis. I ride my bike everywhere. Do you own a bike or do you use the? Both.

Yeah. I own a bike and I will frequently ride a Lime bike. I own a bike and I will frequently ride a Lime bike. Yeah, me too. I'm here on a Lime bike. Because they just frequently get you there faster than a taxi. Let me tell you my problem with Lime bikes though. Every single one of them is a moving trash can.

They have these great huge bins that you can put so much into. And people, even if there's a trash bin right next to them, they're ultimately always filled with at least a banana peel, an empty coffee cup. Right. It's weird because you'd think, because they're owned by Uber, right?

So if something's owned by Uber, you want to use it as a trash can. You know what I mean? They're a foul company. But it's not like Jeff Uber who gets punished by that. It's like other people riding it. So as tempting as it might be to use your Uber thing as a trash can, just remember who's going to be dealing with that.

Yeah, it's me. Yeah, it's Jesse. Oh wow, thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you did this. I am too, thank you. Really great to meet you. Thanks for coming in.

Yeah, it's really nice to meet you. I've been such a fan for so long. Oh, me too, love you. And I know we have a million mutual friends and I was thrilled to hear that you were living here. I had no idea this is where you were. Yeah. This episode of Dinners on Me was recorded at Brasserie Max in Covent Garden, London.

Next week on Dinners on Me, you know her from shows like Catastrophe and Bad Sisters, it's the newly minted Emmy nominee Sharon Horgan. We'll talk about growing up on a turkey farm in Ireland, stepping into versions of herself on screen like her alter ego Sharon Morris in Catastrophe and her lovely relationship with Irish actor Barry Ward. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me Plus. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click try free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today.

Dinners on Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our show runner is Joanna Clay. Our producer in the UK is Grace Laker, with production support from Matthias Torres Soleil. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Baer engineered this episode.

Hans-Dale Sheet composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balanz-Klasny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.